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Hey shitty glasses,
Did I ever tell you how much I love your smile?
"Wow that was so cool!" The boy blinked, before looking up. It was a girl, a girl with dirty glasses and a messy ponytail and she was smiling at him. "That was really amazing! With your help we might even have a chance to defeat those titans!" This girl was so weirdly optimistic... but, wait, why were her eyes shining? "Whatever," he said impassively, gazing down at the ground. "I'm Hanji Zoe!" she grinned, before outstretching her hand. Her eyes were stars, and hope and light and everything good in this world.
"...They're all dead Hanji! They are dead and they won't come back and they died for nothing!" He yelled, clenching his hand till it bled. "FUCK!" Levi cried in rage, then, sobbing, fell to the floor. "I'm supposed to not feel anything shitty glasses... Why does it hurt!?" "Because you are human Levi," she whispered, "You're just a shitty human like the rest of us." Just two more broken people, desperately trying to put the pieces together.
"You're going to get yourself killed!" he yelled at his stupid, stupid friend. "I'm just doing my job Levi! We're all supposed to fight!" she retorted, tears welling in her eyes. "Just shut up!" Levi snapped. There was no one else who understood him, she was the only one who he'd let inside his life and that was so terrifying. What if he lost her as well? "...This isn't like you Levi." Hange said, "Maybe you just don't know me well enough," he spat in hatred. "Maybe I don't." She replied, before storming away. He watched her leave, why does it hurt? It's better for her to leave... Right? Broken pieces that don't quite fit.
Can you hear me shitty glasses?
I'm sorry, okay.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry!
Okay! I said I'm sorry! Are you happy now! Now will you come back?
...
I'm...so...sorry...
I'm sorry that I was such an asshole. I'm sorry I blamed you when there was no one left to blame. I'm sorry I let you down. I'm sorry I couldn't save you. I'm sorry I couldn't tell you how much you mean to me. You are kind and brave and strong and smart, and I don't deserve you. I’ve held you at your breaking point and when the nightmares come (as they always do). And you’ve done the same. Because we’re soldiers, and comrades, and friends and Levi and Hange and shitty people but I don't mind as long as you're with me, four eyes.
You could talk for days about your latest experiment... I promise I'll listen.
You could stay stinky and gross and not bathe for days... I promise I won't mind.
I'll never call you four eyes or shitty glasses again...
Just please don't leave me...
HANJI!
Did I ever tell you how much I love you, Hanji?
I didn’t and it’s too late now and I’ll never see your smile again.