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Coming to Samwell is like being blindfolded, dropped in the middle of an alien planet, spun around until the nausea sets in, and released. And it’s not even four hours from his hometown.
It’s not even the posters on every available surface proclaiming that the queer society meets on Wednesdays, or that tuition should be slashed, or that cats are against cat calling (what?), though that is certainly part of it. It’s that nobody looks at him funny, or looks at him much at all. It’s novel and Will fucking loves it.
At least, he thought he loved it until a Frisbee almost hits him in the face and the spotty dudebro who threw it shouts, “Sorry, man!”
He’s grinning so hard when he passes the Frisbee back that the guy looks at him kind of funny. Will gives absolutely no fucks.
He starts lugging his shit from his car up to his dorm. He doesn’t have a lot of boxes but they’re heavy and he grunts with the effort. A guy sees him struggling to open the door and jumps in to help.
“Thanks,” he murmurs. When Will looks up, he recognises him. He’s the kid from Andover he met at the Taddy Tour. He’s gotten even more good looking over the summer, which seems ridiculous and unfair. He’s like a model with his smooth, chocolate skin and the well-muscled arms under his tank top and fucking stubble. How does a guy just out of high school pull off stubble like that? Will knows he’s changed a bit more in the last few months than would be considered normal, his face is still sharpening and his voice still dropping, but there’s an echoing spark of recognition in the guy’s eyes.
“Dex, right?”
“Oh, yeah,” Will grins. He’s had the nickname Dex since he was a little kid, and he’s thrilled it seems to be making the move to Samwell. “And you’re Nursey, right? Prep school kid?”
Nursey’s face scrunches up a little in distaste but he nods. Will dumps his boxes on the bed and turns back to see Nursey has followed him inside, hands jammed tight in the pockets of his skinny jeans.
Will opens the first box and hears Nursey hum in surprise.
“Is that all you’re bringing up?”
The sound of packing tape tearing is inordinately loud in the otherwise awkward silence. It’s Will’s turn for his face to drop.
“I don’t need a lot,” he mutters, pulling out books with a little more force than necessary.
“Sure, man,” Will is kind of irrationally pissed at this rich, attractive kid who he barely knows, but that moniker still makes him grin uncontrollably. He’s going to have to get that under control eventually. “So, what subjects are you taking?”
“Oh, compsci stuff.”
“Isn’t that kind of boring?”
Will gives him a look. Is this guy for real?
“What are you doing, then?”
“Oh, I’m a poet,” Nursey says this like it’s something that nineteen-year-old boys just say. Like it doesn’t sound absolutely fucking ridiculous. After a moment where Nursey just gazes impassively at him, Will realises he’s being serious.
“Good luck with that.”
“Hey, you’ve gotta follow your heart, dude.”
Not even the casual dude can stop Will from scowling.
“My loans beg to differ,” he snaps.
“Bro, you need to chill,” Nursey rolls his eyes and Will bristles. “You’re a fucking freshman, you shouldn’t be stressing about money right now.”
Will wants this absolute dickbag gone right now. How fucking dare he come into Will’s space and talk about shit he doesn’t understand? The guy has probably never had to worry about money his entire life, let alone having to budget and fundraise to even be able to afford basic necessities, let alone being so afraid of being rejected by everyone he went to for a loan, let alone begging for cash just to have what he needs to be himself.
“How about you shove your fucking chill up your ass? Seeing as your head’s already in there.”
Nursey looks at him in shock for a second. Will isn’t really sure where that came from. He’s never had trouble with chirping, he has three younger siblings after all, but that was downright vicious and yeah this guy is kind of an asshole but they’re on the same team, they have to get along. Will’s about to apologise when a whirlwind of a human being comes racing through the door.
“Oh my god, I thought I recognised you guys!” Will identifies him as Chowder when he starts ranting, smile splitting his face. He’s still in braces and still in a Sharks hoodie (it’s 80 degrees out what the hell) like the past few months have had no effect on him. “This is so cool! We should totally go down to the house… I mean the Haus! Wow you can really hear the capitalisation… and the German… ness. This is so cool that we’re all in the same dorm!”
He seems completely oblivious to the tension in the room, though that may be since it fades out somewhat in his presence. It’s hard to stay mad at anybody when the literal personification of sunshine is grinning at you.
“Sure, C,” Nursey puts an arm around his shoulder. He glances back at Will. “You probably want to keep packing…”
“No!” Will drops the book he’s holding and flushes. Of course. “I’ll come.”
“’Swawesome!” Chowder beams and leads the way out. “This is so cool! I mean high school hockey was great but this is college! There’s gonna be parties and kegsters and like, proper stadiums and crowds and everything! Also Samwell is so great!”
“Yeah,” Nursey smiles. It’s kind of devastating. “I’m going to the queer society on Wednesday, to see what it’s all about.”
He meets Will’s eyes as he says this, and Will can’t help his reaction. He winces and looks at the ground. Part of why he came to Samwell is because it’s so… accepting… but he doesn’t exactly want to come out to his teammates on the first day. Or ever.
“Not really my scene,” he mutters. He avoids looking to see Nursey’s reaction.
“I don’t know, I want to join all of the societies!” Chowder is completely oblivious and still beaming. “Everyone’s so nice here! I might go with you Nursey, I mean I’m not really into guys all that much but that’s ok right? I could just be a friend?”
“Yeah, sure C,” Nursey’s voice sounds a little tight and Will still can’t look at him.
“Dex, are you sure you won’t come? Just as a friend? Unless you’re not straight or something! I mean I know you should never assume… you know that guy Shitty? I only spoke to him once on the Taddy Tour but he told me all about heteronormativity, you know? You went to the same high school as him right, Nursey?”
Will is still trying to process everything as Nursey talks about how Shitty was at Andover (how the hell did they let him get away with that nickname?) and he’s caught off guard when Nursey says his name.
“So, Dex, you coming on Wednesday or not?” Nursey’s looking at him like he’s going to judge him on the answer, and Will knows exactly what he should do. He should say yes, should go to the queer society and maybe make friends, if not with Nursey then with others. He should come out of his shell and eventually just… come out in general. He should be himself here like he wasn’t able to be at home. He knows he would find people who would still care for him, who would look at him and see him. He looks at Nursey, this person unlike anyone he’s ever met, and feels a world of possibility stretch out in front of him.
“I think I’ll pass.”