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“Did you recently eat new groups of food?”
Kate could see Swain looking at her inquisitively, trying to figure out the cause of her ailment. “No. I ate the same stuff.”
“Nothing exotic?” Swain prodded further, “or new takeaway place?”
“Nope.”
“What was the last thing you ate?”
She looked at him with deadpanned expression, “Bird’s cooking.”
His lips turned up a little, “none of us is sick, so can’t be that.”
She huffed, “can’t you just give me some anti-nausea meds?”
He sighed, “alright, I can give you that, but you need to tell me if you continue to puke for the rest of the day or if you can’t keep anything down.”
“I just want to be back to work.”
He replied with a firm tone, “X, you clearly need some rest. Light duties for the rest of the day please. No boardings for you. And I’ll give you some electrolytes to take along with the anti-nausea pills.”
She glared at him, she felt irrationally angry at his suggestion; maybe because she still felt embarrassed for vomiting in front of a cocky arsehole like Davidson. She hated to appear weak. It’s bad enough that she was so small compared to her taller and bulkier teammates, and then she had vomited her guts out to the side of the vessel while Swain had held her hair like some helpless female.
“Oh, and I’ll give you this as well.”
She looked at the new item on his hand and it made her nauseous again, “No.”
“X, it’s just to rule it out.” He stared at her in sympathy, he knew how awkward this was, he wished he didn’t have to ask his boss to do a pregnancy test as well.
“No. Absolutely not.” She shook her head.
“X, we need to know if you were, so we could take precaution,” he moved closer to her, “we don’t want you to be caught in a crossfire and miscarry.”
“If I were and I didn’t know about it, and ended up losing it, then it’s a blessing.” She stared at him stubbornly.
He was speechless by her words and even more worried for her now.
“If you’re worrying about your job or your conscience, don’t. I’d absolve you from any blame if it ever happened under your watch.” She raised her chin in defiance, “you can’t force me to take the test.”
He just frowned at her for a few more seconds before putting all the meds and the test on the spare table and pulled a chair to sit in front of her, who was still sitting on the gurney. He saw that she followed his movements but averted her eyes to the side when he looked up to meet hers.
“X, can you look at me please?” He pleaded gently.
She met his eyes reluctantly.
“This is not about my job or my conscience or about a foetus that might not exist. This is about your health. I want to see you healthy, physically and mentally, so that you’re able to do your job well, because frankly, this ship wouldn’t run well without you. For that purpose, I will need to either find out the exact cause of your symptoms or rule out the possible causes one by one. And I can’t do that if you’re being stubborn. Do you understand where I’m coming from?”
She could feel her eyes watered a little bit hearing the genuine concern in his voice, and she was even more embarrassed now. Why couldn’t she just be sick during shore leave? At least she wouldn’t be bothering or worrying anybody. “I’m sorry.”
He shook his head, “I don’t want your apology. I want you to tell me if you have any other symptoms in the last few days, or weeks or even months that you’ve been ignoring, that could indicate a bigger health problem if combined with your vomiting? Any change in your bowel movements? Bloody stool? Any cramps or pain in your stomach area?”
“I’m just tired all the time; doesn’t matter how much sleep I get.” She finally admitted, “and my stomach is always bloated at night, but always back to normal in the morning.”
He frowned, “how long has this been going on? Is this why you’re even more of a coffee addict now? Because you need the caffeine to function?”
“About 6 months,” she sighed, “I didn’t do anything about it because I thought I was just stressed or depressed.”
“And no one commented? Not even Captain Roth?” He felt guilty that he didn’t say anything about noticing the significant increase in her caffeine intakes, but in his defence, caffeine addiction wasn’t rare in their line of work, and he hadn’t seen her being extremely jittery or impaired.
She shook her head, “we don’t spend enough time together for him to notice this stuff. Sadly, I spend more time with you guys.”
“I should have asked about the change in your coffee habit,” he sighed.
“Swain….” She looked exasperated, “you’re not allowed to feel guilty about this. The fact that you’re noticing it at all, is a miracle.”
He frowned again, “ok, maybe it’s all the caffeine and the extra acids that upset your stomach. And you probably don’t drink enough water if you’re drinking coffee all the time. Can we try limiting your coffee to 2 cups a day? And at least 1.5 litres of water daily please. Maybe no guts watch for you this patrol too. I’ll switch with you. See if you feel better after a few days of regular sleeping pattern.”
“Only 2 cups?” She scowled, “you want me to fall asleep on the bridge, don’t you?”
He chuckled, “no, I don’t want you to vomit again for the rest of this patrol. That’s the goal. If you’re not vomiting anymore, but still extremely fatigued, then I want you to be on light duties this patrol and get yourself a GP appointment during shore leave to test your Iron, vitamin D and B12 level as a starting point and go from there.”
She looked at him in contemplation, “if I agreed to all that, would you stop pestering me about the pregnancy test?”
“You’re so stubborn.” Half of his dimple showed up in amusement at her defiance, “fine, I won’t bring it up again. But, if your GP, who is the real doctor, suggest it as well, then I want you to reconsider your position for your own health. Do we have a deal?”
She rolled her eyes at him, “fine. We have a deal.”
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Chris was slowly awakened by the annoying beeping sound coming from his bedside table. He blindly reached for the offending device before flipping it open and spoke with a sleepy voice, “hello?”
“I’m so sorry….”
“Huh?” He took the phone away from his ear and squinted at the small screen, he then shook his head to clear the cobweb as he realised who had called him, “X? What’s wrong?”
“I’m sorry for calling you. I don’t know anyone else that might know about this stuff.”
“What stuff?” He flipped open the thin sheet covering his body and sat up against the headboard before turning on his bedside lamp.
“Colonoscopy preparation.”
He frowned, “are you getting a colonoscopy?”
“And endoscopy at 12.30 pm today.”
“Today?” Alarm bells rang in his head, “is anyone with you now? You’re supposed to have a responsible adult present during your preparation.”
“No…. I figured it couldn’t have been that bad.”
“X….” He sighed, “are you ok? Are you feeling dizzy or faint?”
“No. Just sluggish. Can I ask you something?”
“Of course.” He now sat at the edge of his bed, “have you drunk all the solutions?”
“That’s the thing. I supposed to finish the whole 2 litres by 12am, but it tasted so bad, and I could only drink bit by bit and that’s with me chasing it with apple juice with every sip, and I still had 1.2 litres left in the container by 1am, then I accidentally fell asleep and now it’s 3am and I don’t know if I should still continue? Or have I ruined the process?”
His frown got even deeper, “what does the instruction say? Can you read it for me?”
“Between 8pm to 12am, drink 2 sachets of Colonlytely in 2 litres of water and at least 4 glasses of fluid. Then four hours prior to procedure time, consume 1 sachet of Picolax in 250mls of water then remain nil by mouth. But it says nothing about what I should do between 12am and 8.30am, which is 4 hours before the procedure.”
“That’s probably because they’re assuming you’d be asleep at that time.” He sighed, “what time do you have to let them know if your bowel hasn’t cleared yet?”
“8am.”
“Then I think you have until that time to finish the solutions and clear your bowel.” He concluded.
“Oh God, I hate this stuff! It tastes like shit, which is probably apt as this thing is designed to make me shit myself.”
He couldn’t help it; he laughed at her uncharacteristic whinging.
“Swain…. Don’t laugh! This is not funny. I have never felt so undignified by my own bodily function before. I thought vomiting in front of that arsehole Davidson was the most embarrassing thing that my body could do, but this is worse!”
“Sorry, X.” he stifled his laugh, “you honestly shouldn’t be embarrassed though. Anyone who did this procedure would experience the same thing. And I presume your GP made the recommendation because he or she thought it was necessary? Then think of it as just a stepping stone to a healthier you in the future.”
“I hate your logic.”
He chuckled, “you meant that you hate me for saying that you should keep going with the prep, right? You called me before hoping that I would say you should stop and not continuing?”
“Ok, yes I hate you for that.”
He only smiled at her petulant voice, “come on, X. You can do this. This is only the last step you have to do. I presume you’ve started the prep from early this week? Then you don’t want to waste the time you have spent already, do you? I’m pretty sure you’re not a quitter, yeah?”
He could hear a sigh from her before she spoke again.
“I suppose to have someone pick me up from the hospital once the procedure is finished and have this person stay with me for 24 hours. I’m so sorry for this. And I would understand if you had plans with your family and couldn’t do it, but do you mind picking me up at around 4 pm? You don’t have to stay afterwards, just picking me up and dropping me off would do.”
“Of course.” He surprised himself by saying yes straight away, shouldn’t he discuss this with Sally first? But maybe that had something to do with the fact that he was sleeping in his spare bedroom instead of next to his wife. He wanted to distract himself from his home situation by latching on to his duty to his teammates, which ended up proving Sally’s accusation that he had been prioritising everything else above his wife and daughter.
“Are you sure you don’t have plans? I probably should have asked Dutchy, but I think he’s busy canoodling with that spook. Plus, he’s going to be a mother hen about it, and I just can’t deal with his overprotectiveness right now. I could probably ask Charge, but I’m not eager to have everyone knowing that I have this procedure.”
“What about Captain Roth or even the boss? I’m surprised you’re not mentioning them as option.” It took him a few seconds to realise what he was asking. He blamed his half-asleep brain for his audacity.
As expected, she went quiet at his rude questioning. He was about to apologise when she replied in a small voice.
“The boss is spending time with his family. Ryan almost died after the whole ordeal with Davidson, so father and son is reconnecting now. And Jim….”
“X, you don’t have to explain.” He replied quickly, “I was out of line. I shouldn’t say anything.”
He could hear her sad chuckle on the line. And that broke his heart a little bit. He had spent the last 5 years watching her navigating her love lives and her strong chemistry with both of her bosuns and the boss, and it seemed that none of those potentials would come to fruition. He was rooting for her to finally experience some kind of lasting happiness, because she deserved it.
“Jim was with me last week. And he’s now in Townsville for training. He proposed, by the way.”
“What?” He was stunned at first, but after a few seconds, he was elated for her. “That’s great news!”
“I didn’t even let him know about this procedure. I don’t think that Jim and I are at the stage where we’re ready for marriage.”
He went quiet at her sad tone, “what did you say to his proposal then?”
“I said that I would think about it when he proposed last week. But that was a cop out, because yesterday, I ended up express posting his grandmother’s ring to his Townsville barrack with a letter.”
“Gee, X. That’s a bit cruel, don’t you think?” He felt sorry for the poor bugger.
“I know. I was a coward. I couldn’t face him. I was trying on a few wedding dresses earlier in the week, just to help me reach a decision. I tried to imagine myself walking down the aisle, and I saw someone at the end of that aisle, but his face was blurry, so I couldn’t see who he was. Don’t you think if I was meant to marry Jim, I would’ve been able to see him at the end of that aisle?”
He stayed quiet at her rhetorical question. She had a point. You should be able to imagine your life with that person. It’s also hard to stay true to your marriage vow if you couldn’t even tell that person about the medical procedure that you’re having.
“I’m sorry that I just vomited all of that to you. I really didn’t want to bother you before, because 2 weeks shore leave is quite rare and I want you to spend every minute with Sally and Chloe.”
“X, you would never be a bother. I am your emergency contact anyway.” He replied gently, “I will pick you up at 4pm then. I think I’ll give you a lift to the hospital as well.”
“I can just catch a taxi to the hospital. I shouldn’t impose on you.”
“I want to.” He said firmly, “you could be half-drowsy due to the lost of fluid during the prep and also the lack of sleep. I don’t want to risk some strangers taking advantage of you in your condition.”
“Gosh, I forgot how you like to hover over your patients.”
He smiled at her whiny voice, “ok, you need to restart the prep now please, the cleaner your bowel is, the clearer the result will be and less chance of a repeat.”
“Yes, Dr Blake.”
He chuckled as he could imagine her rolling her eyes at him, “give me a call at 8am for progress report. And let me know what time you must arrive in the hospital for check-in process.”
“I will.”
“Oh, probably switch to Powerade or Gatorade to use as chaser instead of apple juice. The juice tastes sickly if you drink too much of it because it’s so sweet. That might be why you couldn’t finish the solution before.”
“Ok, I bought a few bottles of Gatorade as part of the prep. So, I have it already. Thanks Swain. I owe you one.”
“Don’t mention it. See you soon then.”
“Will do. Bye for now.”
He said his goodbye and shook his head for the fact that he’s now wide awake at 3.30am. He could go back to sleep now, or maybe he could go for a run?
He decided that he should get some more sleep for a couple more hours, after all, he should enjoy his shore leave while he could. He would be back for patrol next Monday, where sleeping for 8 hours a night would be a luxury.
He then turned off his bedside lamp and laid down on the bed once more; the bed that he had slept on since Tuesday night after the worst fight he had had with Sally during the decade they had been together. He closed his eyes as the memory of that fight resurfaced and he didn’t know what to do.
Sally wanted to move back to Western Australia to care for her mother, who just had a pacemaker fitted in. And she had said on Tuesday that her decision had been final, so she would move there and take Chloe with her next month, with or without him. It’s now up to him whether to follow them or never seeing Chloe again.
If he loved Chloe and Sally, there was only one answer to this conundrum, wasn't it? And that’s why Sally had been so angry at him. The fact that he had been indecisive about this. In theory, Stirling was a great base, and he should be able to get a job there. And yet he had hesitated.
He didn’t know for sure the reason for his hesitation before his phone call with his XO, but now he had some clues.
He honestly thought of his Hammersley crews as his family too, not just work colleagues. He cared about every single one of them, even 2Dads, whom he had the most problem with. He wanted to help them achieve their goals, their desired careers and even found happiness like what he had hoped for his XO.
He loved Chloe and Sally. But he also felt sad at the thought of leaving behind his Hammersley family. What’s that made him then? An arsehole? A terrible father and husband? Someone with skewed sense of priority?
The second clue would be the warm feelings he got in his stomach when his XO had jokingly called him ‘Dr Blake’ just now.
The medic role that had supposed to be a side job to his primary role as coxswain has turned into his primary purpose in the ship after doing it for almost 6 years. He spent more time and energy solving his crews’ health conundrum rather than being a cop on board.
If he moved to Stirling, he would lose his medic role, as this dual role was unique to patrol boat environment. He would strictly be a coxswain, and he didn’t think he could do it full time anymore.
But it’s just a job, wasn't it? A means to get paid. Shouldn’t he be prioritising his daughter and his wife instead? Hadn’t they sacrificed enough of their lives to his job in the Navy? Shouldn’t he be less selfish?
He sighed.
There was no way he’s getting any sleep now, with these thoughts swirling in his brain. So, he’d better be doing something productive, like searching for a job opportunity in Stirling. Who knew, maybe there was a part-medic role available there. One could dream, right?
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