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Suletta’s hand squeezed hers. Miorine had no idea how much she’d missed this. How much she’d missed her. No, no, she knew. Or had thought she knew. But now… the relief she felt being with Suletta again was… more than she’d ever thought she could feel. The tears had already started flowing, and they wouldn’t stop. She didn’t want them to.
“Suletta I… I’m so, so sorry, I just…” she couldn’t bring herself to continue. Her throat was too choked up to say anything more. But her bride just smiled and held her hand tighter.
“I know. And I forgive you.” You shouldn’t, you really shouldn’t. But she did. Miorine knew she meant it. “We can talk about it later. Right now… I’m just so happy to see you again.” Before she could even think, Miorine had her arms around Suletta, had her face buried into her shoulder.
“... I don’t deserve you.” Suletta held her in turn, fingers running idly through her hair.
“You do.” A violent sob wracked her.
“I don’t. I don’t.” She kept saying that, kept pleading with her bride not to forgive her even as she repeatedly did. ‘I don’t’ followed by ‘you do,’ countless times as Suletta held her, picked her up, carried her to bed, let Miorine huddle in her chest as ‘I don’t’ and ‘you do’ turned to ‘don’t forgive me’ and ‘I do,’ as ‘don’t forgive me’ turned to ‘don’t’ turned to nothing but crying.
Suletta’s arms stayed around her the entire time, her hands stroking over her head, slow and soothing, the entire time. Her lips, too, would meet the top of Miorine's head, sometimes. Whenever they did, Miorine couldn’t help but smile as she sobbed. She wished she could vocalize how much she wanted more of that.
She wished she could say ‘I love you,’ but even if she could speak at all, Miorine wouldn’t say that. She didn’t deserve to say it first, not after what she’d done.
She didn’t deserve Suletta after what she’d done.
And when her tears had run dry, when the vice grip her emotions had taken on her throat loosened, she said it again. Miorine made sure her bride knew she could do better.
“What… Miorine, what do I have to do to- to drive this home?”
“Nothing,” she said quietly, voice still raspy. “You shouldn’t forgive me. I don’t deserve it.” Suletta’s hands ran through her hair again. She knew without looking that her expression had softened.
“Well, that’s too bad. Because I do.”
“Don’t. Don’t, please don’t.” Suletta sighed, and held her closer. Smothered her, but… but comfortingly. As much as Miorine liked it, a small part of her felt dread. Not too long ago, she’d wanted this, but… in a different way. She’d hated herself for being too much of a coward to go through with it, but now… the tears started flowing again. She was glad she hadn’t done it, but she still hated herself, a little. In a peculiar way, the contrast only made it hurt more.
“You’re really gonna make me say it, huh…?” Suletta muttered into the top of her head. Her lips were close enough that she could hear her bride perfectly, and yet she could still tell Suletta had tried to make sure she couldn’t hear that.
“Wh… what?” One of her hands went to Miorine’s chin, cupping her, bringing her out of her bride’s chest. Blue met silver.
“Thank you for abandoning me when you did, Miorine.”
“DONT SAY THAT!” Miorine yelled, throat stinging with every word. “I HAVEN'T EARNED IT, SO- so please, please. Take it back, Suletta. You shouldn't thank me for that.”
“Well, that’s too bad! Because I am.” Suletta laughed a little, and some part of Miorine thought she has the audacity to laugh while I… but she didn’t really have any heart in it. Her bride’s hand ran down her hair again, and just like that the thought went away. “It helped me. You helped me, even if you don’t think you did.” Miorine could only shake her head.
“No. No, I didn’t, I only hurt you in trying to distance you from her and what she was doing and it didn’t even work! Norea’s attack was because of me bringing Aerial and your mother to Quinharbor. I know it was. It’s all my fault!”
“You couldn’t have known that would happen. You couldn’t have predicted either of those things, so- so please, don’t blame yourself for it.” Miorine tried to shake her head again, but couldn’t even manage that, so instead she tried to huddle her face back into Suletta’s chest. She wasn’t even strong enough to move out of her bride’s gentle grip. Too tired, too sad. Too in love with Suletta’s face to look away even if she wanted to.
“But- but…” a single finger tapped her lips.
“If… okay, Miorine, do you know, um… the butterfly effect?” She nodded. “Okay, good. I thought you would. If the butterfly flapping its wings really does cause a tornado or a hurricane or a storm or- or whatever Earthian word you want to use, should it feel blame for it?” Miorine frowned.
“Well, no, but butterflies don’t have a big enough brain to feel emotions like that.” Suletta sighed, and laughed again. How can she be so in love with me? I’ve done such horrible things. “Okay, fine, I’ll say something more towards what you actually mean. I feel ashamed because she manipulated me into serving her ends, into pushing you away by convincing me it was the right thing to do.”
“Yes, my mother manipulated you. But she manipulated me too. She played both of us. There’s no shame in that, in being… um, outplayed by someone with much more experience. With more… people skills. There isn’t.” She would’ve spoken up, but Suletta put a finger over her lips again. “And when you abandoned me, then when she and Eri abandoned me,” wait, who? She's said that name before… “I realized what I said earlier. That I’d been relying on them, perhaps too much.”
“And… and me.” Suletta smiled again, a little sadder this time.
“Y- yeah. And you.” Her bride blushed and looked upwards, away from Miorine’s eyes. “B- but I- um! I still like being with you… and- and I like it when you… rely on me. Like we talked about on Plant Quetta, before… before. Remember?” Miorine half-laughed, half-sobbed.
“As- as if I could ever forget.”
“M- Miorine, I still… I still want you to rely on me. But- but… I don’t think I need you to. Your… time away from me helped me realize that. O- or helped me change into that, I dunno.”
“So…” Miorine whispered, starting to feel herself choke up again, “so you- you really mean it? I… helped.” Suletta grinned. It made her heart pound.
“Yes! You did the right thing, abandoning me, breaking things off with me. Sure, it hurt, but only in the short term. Once I realized it was the same thing Eri did to me,” there’s that name again… “for the same reasons, to… to protect me from the bad things that were about to happen, I understood. I forgive you, Miorine. I really do.”
“And you- you still…”
“Want to be with you. Yes. I do.” Suletta finally looked back down at her, blush still blazing. She’s so goddamn cute. Suletta’s hand cupped her cheek. “A- and I… still want to be your bride. Your wife.” Miorine blushed, too. Wife… oh my god right, we’re- we’re going to get… married. How could I forget? “I still kept my promises, too… was it okay for me to do that, after… after?”
“Y- you… no, you- why!? After what I did to you… you shouldn’t’ve had any reason to- to…” she trailed off, pinching her lips tight, nuzzling them into the palm of her bride’s hand. “You… still tended the tomatoes?”
“Because I wanted to. Not because I promised you, but for myself. Th- that’s the, um, whole point of the conversation we just had? Anyway, it was… it was… relaxing. Gave me something to do, along with schoolwork.”
“And… are they okay, now, with you gone?” Suletta winced.
“Well… they, ah, kinda… the greenhouse got wrecked in the attack.” At Miorine’s frown, she hurriedly added, “b- b- but I have some of them! While you were gone I, um, froze the ones that were good and stuffed them in a box in Earth House! Those, at least, survived.” She breathed a sigh of relief. She’d already suffered so much, lost so much, pushed away so much that was precious to her, she wasn’t sure how she’d feel if her mother’s tomatoes were gone too.
“Okay. Um…” Miorine thought for a second, and really had to focus on it. Losing herself in Suletta’s eyes was easier than she remembered. She'd always thought they were as beautiful as the Earth’s oceans. More beautiful. “Right. Next question.” Suletta nodded, awaiting. “Who… who’s Eri? You keep mentioning her like I should know who she is.” Her bride squinted.
“You… don’t know?” Blue eyes widened. “You don’t know! Oh, oh my god. Why would you, I haven’t told you, you weren’t around when…” Suletta let out an exasperated sigh. “W- wow, alright. I, um… have quite a bit to catch you up on.”
“Like… what?” Suletta reluctantly took her hands away from Miorine, steepling them together between the two of them. God, I love her awkward little gestures. I love her.
“So, um, Eri is… my sister.” Huh??? “She’s my mother’s… actual daughter, you could say. Be- because I’m a Repli-Child of her. A- a clone, I think is the um, sorta generic term?” Every word sent Miorine into deeper shock. WHAT??? “She got- got really hurt once, after the, uhm, Vanadis incident, so mom put her mind inside Aerial and that’s why-” Miorine put a hand over Suletta’s mouth, and one over her own. Oh my fuck, I’m going to be sick. Prospera did- she put… what the fuck!
“Wh- what the fuck,” was all she could say when her stomach felt steady enough to remove her hand from her mouth. “What the fuck!” Suletta mumbled something into her hand. She couldn’t make it out, so she reluctantly lifted that one away too. Her bride still didn’t speak. “Okay. If you’re… going to clarify something, make it quick.” She felt queasy, she felt angry, she felt pity, she felt… so much. How in the ever-loving shit could Prospera do something like that!?
“I- is there a… do… do you have a problem w- with… me being a clone?”
“Oh! Oh my god, no, no I don’t have any issue with that! You’re still- I still…” she couldn’t bring herself to say it, not even now when it would comfort her. “This changes nothing a- about… us. There isn’t a problem. Not with you.” Miorine scowled. “With her, though…” she grumbled, “when I see her next I swear I am going to… to…! I don’t know what! Nothing she’ll enjoy, thats for fucking sure!” And I thought manipulating Suletta into killing someone was bad!
“Please… please don’t punch my mom for that. She was just doing what she… what she had to do. For her daughter.” Miorine grumbled again, wordlessly this time. “Miorine.” One of Suletta’s hands held hers, fingers lacing together again. It helped, a little. “Promise me, Miorine, that… that you won’t punch her for that. I- I mean I… haven’t even told you all of it, but-”
“I don’t want you to tell me all of it.” Suletta opened her mouth, closed it, and nodded. “Not… not yet, at least. Later. We can… talk about her later. I don’t have the mental bandwidth to process that right now. I just want to be with you.”
“I understand. But please, promise me you won’t hurt her.” Miorine growled.
“I promise. Not physically, at least.”
“Okay,” her bride sighed, “words are… those’ll do.” Quieter, she added, “she certainly needs a stern talking-to from someone.”
“When you stop her, I’ll do that with glee.” Suletta let out a surprised gasp, her hands clapping together a little.
“Y- you said ‘when,’ so… so you think I can do it?” Miorine shoved thoughts of the horrible horrible woman aside, and smiled reassuringly at her bride, shifting her hand over to her cheek.
“Of course I do. I believe in my bride.” Suletta giggled, squirmed, made an adorable little noise, each of which made Miorine’s heart beat faster than the last. How did I ever manage to be with someone so utterly wonderful? Her bride must’ve noticed the way she was looking at her, as she started blushing again, hiding her smile behind her hands.
“Is… is there a reason you’re… staring at me like that, M- Miorine?” Suletta blushed further, twiddled her thumbs. “B- because it, um… I dunno, I- I really like it, you looking at me like this, but… it feels like it’s because there’s something you want to say?” Yes. Yes. Yes, there is. I want to tell you how I love you more than anything else in the universe.
“I… I…” a hand of steel clutched at her heart. The words wouldn’t come out. She still didn’t deserve to say it. “I… think you’re really beautiful.” Miorine would have to settle for that.
“A- ah, um, uh, M- Miorine I-” her bride trailed off into further flustered stammers. Miorine simply patted her on the cheek as she did. Why can’t I just fucking say it!? I love her, I know she loves me, so- so even if I don’t deserve it, I should just do it anyway! And yet she couldn’t. Miorine knew she couldn’t. They’d never said it outright -partially because they didn’t need to- but… but after what she’d done, she didn’t deserve to say it first. She’d never be able to force those words out, no matter how hard she tried, no matter how hard she wanted to say them, to put them out there in the air between them. Not until Suletta did. So she just had to wait.
“I mean it,” she added. She meant what she said, she meant what she didn’t say. What she couldn’t say. “I’ve always thought you were cute.”
“Um um um! Th- thank you, M- Miorine!” Suletta’s fingers went back into the steeple formation, shifting back and forth between them. “I- I, um… I always thought that too. That you were cute. A- after a certain point it, um, um… turned into something more than that, though.” Miorine froze. Please, please say it. Please say it. I want to say it. Please say it. But Suletta just smiled again, and whispered to herself, “oh, what am I even saying? You know.” I do, I do, but please just say it! “You’re beautiful too, Miorine.” In spite of the agony she felt at Suletta still not saying it, in spite of the horrible mix of love and despair she felt about how they knew each other so well that they might never say it, Miorine found herself blushing.
“Th- thank you, too, Suletta…”
“Ehe…” she laughed, Miorine let herself laugh a little, and they went back to just staring into each other’s eyes. Miorine found her blush growing. Yeah, she sure is pretty… I love her. If I can’t say it to her, I’ll say it to myself. I love Suletta Mercury.
Then her lover made a surprised little noise, and started ruffling through her Holder jacket. It occurred to her that during Guel’s latest stint as her groom, he hadn’t donned it even once. “Oh! There- there was a… well, I know you wanted to talk about something else other than- than, well, I- I won’t say her name. Y’know.” Miorine nodded. “But, um… we did end up thinking about other things, but I had an idea, so…” she went quiet, muttering seemingly meaningless half-words to herself as she searched.
“Doesn’t… doesn’t that jacket get uncomfortable, lying in bed with it on?” She hadn’t meant it that way, but once Miorine realized those words could be interpreted as ‘I want you to take some clothes off with me,’ her cheeks went molten. She did want that… eventually, but- but not yet. Fortunately, Suletta seemed too preoccupied to pick up on her unintended meaning. She just beamed at her, still patting herself down, searching for the pocket. Did it even have pockets? Miorine didn’t know. She supposed it must’ve, if Suletta was looking for one.
“Of course not, silly. Nothing’s uncomfortable when I’m with you.” Miorine smiled, and refused to let herself speak. If she did, she was sure some sort of innuendo would spout out when she didn’t mean it to. So she just watched Suletta rifle through the apparently many pockets of the Holder jacket -did the standard school uniform have that many, or did pockets somehow get added when the clothes shifted between the two?- until she found what she wanted. Suletta’s hand visibly clenched around something, inside her pocket.
“What… what is it?”
“It’s- it’s something I brought with me, from Asticassia. It came with me when I came to see you, because… because it was… I brought it in case words weren’t enough. As- as physical proof that I forgive you.” Oh. She- she didn’t really… no, please, I don’t deserve this either! “A- and because I want you to have it again anyway.” Suletta pulled her hand out of her pocket, still not letting Miorine see it, but she knew. She knew. “So here, Miorine. It’s yours. It always was.”
Suletta’s fingers spread open, revealing the little blue figurine she’d discarded so callously those months ago.
“No, no no no no no, I- I can’t take this back, I-” her bride’s other hand rested over her lips.
“You can. I’m letting you. Please, please take it.” Miorine did so, cradling it in her palm as though she might crush it. As though she might crush it as she had Suletta’s heart, when she’d tossed it away. Openly weeping again after she’d thought all her tears had been cried, Miorine held it to her chest, and then Suletta’s arms were around her, and she wailed until she couldn’t anymore.
Once she’d spent herself all over again, Miorine stayed huddled away in Suletta’s chest. It was comfortable there, even with the jacket stained by her own tears. She was comfortable. She stayed there for as long as she thought she needed, for as long as she thought she could afford to. If they ended up taking more time together than they actually had, Miorine didn’t give a fuck. Three months she’d spent without Suletta, and she was going to make up for it however she damn well pleased. Even if it had been her own fault, even if some small, tiny, infinitesimal part of her still believed she didn’t deserve it, Miorine enjoyed being with her. She had missed it, missed her so very dearly.
Neither of them said anything. Sometimes Suletta would hum a fragment of a tune, but other than that, silence. Miorine was sure -so completely sure- that if she tried to speak, she would only start crying again. So she didn’t. So she just let her bride’s soft songs lull her, soothe her. If this goes on for any longer, I’m going to fall asleep with her. Have we ever done that before? Should I let myself do that, when the threat on the horizon looms so close? Miorine looked inside herself, and found out that the answer, unsurprisingly, was ‘I don’t care.’ If Prospera manages to burn the whole system to the ground because we were too busy cuddling, then so be it. I just want to spend time with the woman I love. Everything else can come after.
Suletta, however, seemed to have other ideas.
“H- hey, Miorine… are you awake?” She grunted a yes, and then immediately regretted it. Not that I could’ve fooled her for long anyway… “We… I think we should get up now. I’m sorry, I love this too, but… but there are things we need to be doing.”
“Ever the responsible one…” she murmured, having to rip herself away from her hideyhole. Suletta just laughed and ruffled her hair.
“You’re the one who started a company to protect me, Miorine… I could never do things like that.”
“Only because you pushed me into doing things I never would’ve done. Only because you changed me.”
“For… for the better?” Now it was Miorine’s turn to ruffle her lover’s hair. Ever the nervous one, too… she’s so precious to me.
“Yes. For the better.” She lurched herself off her side, sitting upright, holding a hand out to help Suletta up. “Nothing about meeting you was a mistake,” Miorine echoed.
“I- I’m glad you agree.” Suletta took her hand, raised herself up, and sat next to her. Their eyes still remained locked on each other, their hands settled down together on the sheets between them. “So, um… should I- can I help you get ready to go back out there? Guel… Guel told me you haven’t, um, left this room in a while.” Miorine sighed.
“Yeah, I- I think I’ll need the help.” Another sigh. “I look like shit, don’t I?” Suletta gazed so softly at her, she thought she would cry just from that.
“Not to me. Never to me.” Oh yeah okay there we go guess I’m crying again!
“S- Suletta! You… you know what I mean.” Her lover’s hand squeezed.
“I do. And I still mean it. You never look anything short of stunning, Miorine.”
“I… th- thank you.” Reluctantly, she swung her legs off the bed, and started to stand. She did look like shit, no matter what Suletta said. Emotionally, she was ready to face the outside world again, but physically? She looked nothing the part. So without another thought, she started stripping down. The dinky little tank-top and shorts she’d been wearing for the past… long while… they wouldn’t do, not at all. And then she would pick out a good suit, do her hair back up, and-
“Ah! Um, um, um, M- Miorine?” She turned around, somehow surprised to see Suletta sitting on the bed, covering her obviously blushing face. As Miorine turned, her bride made a little eep! and hid behind her hands even more intently. Oh. Ohhh, I’ve never done this with her before. In my hurry to get dressed, I just assumed… I just forgot she was there? Miorine felt her own blush returning. “A- are you… do you want to do that w- with me watching?” Her automatic response was ‘no, I don’t, so look away.’ Or it would’ve been, if she hadn’t held her tongue. It was the… proper answer, she thought. But, instead…
“Why not? You can watch, if you want. I don’t mind, not if it's you.” This, of course, only made her bride blush harder. Cute…
“N- no way!!! I- I- I refuse to- to intrude on your privacy like that, M- Miorine!” As Miorine stepped back over to her, leaned forward a little to bring their faces close, to rest her hand over Suletta’s wrists, she was suddenly keenly aware that she’d already taken off her tank-top. And that she hadn’t been wearing anything underneath. Her blush deepened, but she pressed onward despite it. Or because of it, maybe. She wasn’t exactly sure.
“Suletta, really, it’s okay. You- you’re… going to be my wife. You’re allowed to want to see me naked.” Suletta’s fingers parted, allowing herself a tiny peek. Before she went eep! again and closed them back up, Miorine saw her eye flicker downward, just for a brief moment. Hehe. “I promise. You can watch me change, if you want.”
“So… so I- I wouldn’t be… intruding?” She peeked through her fingers again, allowing herself a longer look this time. “R- really…?”
“Really. You wouldn’t be intruding on me, not at all, I promise you. I’m letting you in.” Suletta let her hands drop a little, allowing herself a larger view, and allowing Miorine herself a better view of her bride’s flusteredness. Cute…!
“You don’t… mind me watching?” Miorine shook her head, shifted her hand to cup Suletta’s cheek. Feeling how warm they were only added fuel to the fires of Miorine’s own.
“No. Not at all. I… actually, I-” she felt like she was standing next to a bonfire, but pressed onward anyway, definitely because of it this time, “I… I think I’d like it, if you watched. So, if you could…?”
“O- okay…! If- if it’s what you want. It’s… it’s what I want, too.” Suletta’s hands dropped all the way down, where she fiddled with her pant legs as she took Miorine in. And, as expected, she did like being looked at like this. Only if it was Suletta, though. Anyone else, and she’d slap them silly. So she continued undressing, occasionally meeting her lover’s eyes, but only briefly. If she held eye contact the entire time, while she did this… Miorine thought she knew exactly what would happen after that, and they absolutely didn’t have time for that. Instead, she just flashed Suletta a flustered smile every time they locked eyes, and quickly went back to looking at her own clothes as they became a rumpled pile on the floor.
“I, um…” Suletta started, breaking the silence once Miorine was only herself. Not that that took long, she only had three pieces to remove. “I… meant what I said. About how you always look stunning.”
“I- I know. You always mean what you say. It’s one of the reasons I… I fell for you.” She still couldn’t bring herself to say those three words, but apparently that statement was different enough that it could leave her lips. It meant the same thing anyway.
“Um!” Her bride covered her face again, but only that adorable smile. She still looked. Miorine liked having her look. “Thank you, um… thank you.” She turned to face her, knowing full well that it let Suletta see all of her. The heat on her bride’s face surely mirrored her own.
“So… what do you think I should wear?”
“M- me!? I- I don’t really… know anything about fashion. I just wear the- the um, school uniform. And,” she added, plucking at the sleeve of the Holder jacket, “uh, this. Which is still the school uniform but… y’know.”
“Yeah, I know.” A thought occurred to her again. “Suletta, did you… did you notice what Guel was wearing when he brought you here?” Suletta tilted her head in thought, then shook it. “He wasn’t wearing it. The Holder jacket, I mean. He never did, not even once.”
“Oh, that’s… that’s nice of him. When I first met him, he would’ve done that with pride. He’s… he’s changed too.” Oh, Suletta, you have no idea.
Guel had told her what happened to him after Plant Quetta, what he’d done at Plant Quetta. Reluctantly, yes. In fragments spread weeks apart from each other, yes. But he’d told her. Miorine almost wished he’d kept it to himself, but she’d gotten the distinct sense he had done that, entirely, until telling her. Burdens like that weren’t ones you could carry alone. It was good that he’d let it out.
“Yeah,” she settled for saying, “he has.” It was not her place to say any of that. If Guel wanted to tell Suletta about it, he would do so on his own time, at his own wishes. “I’m happy that he did. Changed, I mean, but also… that he didn’t wear it.” Another, much different thought occurred to her, and she took a few steady steps towards Suletta, taking one of her hands. “It looks good on you.”
“U- um, Miorine…?” Suletta murmured, blush somehow growing even deeper. She’s so fucking cute, how could I not love her?
With a tiny smile, Miorine raised Suletta’s hand to her lips, pressing a tiny kiss to it before saying, “it looks good… only on you.” Her lover’s eyes went wide before she even finished, and somehow wider after.
“A- ah! M- M- Miorine!” Blue eyes flickered between Miorine’s eyes, Miorine’s hand, and something below both of those. It took miraculous levels of restraint to make her reaction to Suletta’s last flicker only a grin. “I- I, um, I… thought you were… going to say something different. Coming towards me like that, l- like… uhm, like you are right now.” Okay, well now I’m curious.
“Like what?” Suletta’s hand slipped out from hers, both completely covering her face again.
“L- like… like, um, something along the lines of… ‘it would look good on the floor.’” Oh. Oh, um, well. It… would.
“If… if I had said that, Suletta… what would you think of it? Would you… like to…” saying it was too much for Miorine. But Suletta understood.
“Y- yes! Yes, I… I um, really would’ve. H- how could I not, with you… standing with me like this.” Blue eyes peeked out from behind her fingers. “B- but, um… I don’t think we can a- afford to get… that distracted. I- I do want to- to… with you, it would be fine but, but…! But not right now. We- we have too much to do, and…” and unfortunately, ‘each other’ is not on our to-do list, Miorine’s brain finished for her.
“Okay. That’s- that’s fine. You’re right. We… don’t have time for that.” Suletta’s hands dropped a little, and almost immediately went back up with an eep!
“Y- yeah. Thank you for- for… understanding, M- Miorine. I- I do want to, though! W… with you. I wish we had more time.”
“I do too, Suletta,” she sighed. “I do too.” Straightening her spine, Miorine reached out a hand to her bride, waited for her to take it this time. “Back to, um… what we were talking about before. Um… come with me. I’ll show you my wardrobe.” Suletta nodded, took her hand, and she led her across the room. Before she looked away, Miorine noted that her bride’s cheeks went a deeper red the moment their hands were together.
“Are you… gonna… I dunno, teach me about fashion? So I can help with what you pick?” Miorine opened the sliding door, and stood squarely next to Suletta, still hand in hand. Both of them faced the wardrobe, but sometimes Miorine glanced off to the side. Once, she noticed that despite that she was completely naked, her bride’s chest was… clearly more well-endowed, even with the layers she was wearing. Thinking that made her shove aside a spike of jealousy.
“No. Just… just pick something. I want you to choose.” Suletta looked over to her.
“... why?”
“I… I don’t know, really. I just kinda… do,” she answered with a shrug. “Pick… I guess you can pick what you’d like to see me in.”
“Oh, um, okay…” Suletta murmured, squeezing her hand, staring off into the wardrobe in thought. “Well, I mean, I like you in everything, so… but… if I had to pick…” her voice faded, falling to a soft whisper. Not so soft that Miorine couldn’t hear, though. She wasn’t sure if that was on purpose. “Well… hmm, Miorine looks really cute in formal wear, so… a dress? Maybe? No… no… a suit. A suit. Women in suits are… my wife in a suit would be… M- Miorine in a suit!” Okay, definitely not supposed to be hearing this, b- but… oh, she loves me so much, doesn’t she?
As her bride started to flit through the various suits, muttering quickly to herself about the pros and cons of each one, Miorine’s brain unwillingly started focusing on Suletta’s hand, and how close it was to her. How there was nothing between them but air. Almost unconsciously -almost, but not quite- she steadily pulled Suletta’s hand closer, until her fingers just barely brushed against Miorine’s thigh. Notice, notice, please notice. It’s okay to want to touch me, too.
Suletta did notice, but her reaction wasn’t what Miorine had hoped. She jerked upright from her lean into the wardrobe, looked down at her fingers almost touching Miorine’s bare skin. Her cheeks exploded with heat, then she quickly looked away, pulled her hand back to a position more equidistant between them, and stood up straight as a rod. She didn’t even say anything! Not so much as a ‘you feel nice,’ or a ‘can I…?’ or… or anything! Miorine pouted.
“Sex-crazed fiancé,” Miorine muttered as quietly as she could. Whether she meant that as a jab at herself or at Suletta, she didn’t know herself. Maybe both.
Eventually, Suletta picked out an outfit from the many she’d brought with her from Asticassia. A nice, simple, and largely unrevealing white dress shirt, paired with a black pair of pants. Had she picked that to… to contrast Miorine’s nudity earlier? She had much more open -and much prettier, she thought- outfits she could use. Was it… had she picked this particular set to try and get across that she had actually felt uncomfortable with it? No, no. Suletta wasn’t that subtle, what was she even thinking? Her bride always meant what she said, and she said she’d liked it, so… so she liked it. And that was that.
And then Miorine pulled out a standing mirror, sat in Suletta’s lap, and had her help do her hair back up. But before that, she had to have Suletta comb through it. She’d felt her bride’s fingers run through her hair countless times since their reunion, but this… this was… Suletta was so gentle with her, she nearly cried. Each time a pesky little knot was untangled without barely making her wince, Miorine felt herself melt into her bride’s lap a little more.
Doing the styling itself proved… much smoother an experience than she’d expected. Yes, she was a mess, but she’d spent a few years in this style, and had plenty of practice sorting herself out from a bedhead. The real surprising part was that, when she gave her bride instructions on how to help, her hands were there doing as she was told almost before she was told what to do. Okay, what? Have we done this before, and I’ve just forgotten? No, no I never would’ve forgotten this. So she asked.
“W- well, one of the things on my list was… was to help a friend with their hair. I know it sounds silly, but-” Miorine laughed.
“Of course it’s silly. That’s because you’re silly. And you’d better be proud of that, because it’s another reason I fell for you.” There she went again, using those different words instead of the ones she really meant. Instead of the ones she still couldn’t say.
“M- Miorine! Um! Okay, th- thanks! Um… a- anyway… that was on my list. Except I’ve done it with Chu-Chu before, and-”
“Chu-Chu?” Miorine gasped, bewildered. “How. Literally how. Please tell me.” Suletta waved her hands around, as if fending off an invisible foe.
“I- I don’t know! She’s insane! I have no idea how she does it, and she walked me through the steps three times!” Both of them sighed, then shared a small giggle. Suletta was very good at following instructions, and if even she couldn’t figure out how to do Chu-Chu’s hair like she did, then the process must’ve been truly and utterly inscrutable. “Anyway… I’ve… I’ve always fantasized about- about being able to do your hair, every morning. Because- I- I mean… of course I wanted to learn how to do that. You wer- are going to be… my- my… wife.” Miorine tried not to cry again. She could read between the lines. She knew what Suletta was leaving unsaid -or maybe, given how her bride worked, what she wanted to say, but couldn’t find the words for.
‘I want to wake up by your side and do this with you every morning for the rest of my life.’
“M… Miorine? Are you okay?” One of Suletta’s hands came up to her cheek. Their eyes locked through the mirror.
“Yes. Yes. I- I’m… fine. I just… I… one- one question.” Suletta nodded, hands clasping in front of them, arms around Miorine. “When… um, when did you… learn how to do my hair?”
“Um… r- recently.” This time, she knew there was something Suletta was leaving unsaid. ‘After you left me.’ Miorine’s efforts failed. Tears began flowing again. “Was that… should I have…” she could only shake her head.
“No, no it’s okay I just… I- why? Why, why would you do that after I… after I treated you like that? W- was it because you… I don’t understand!” Suletta’s arms pulled her in close, her lips nuzzling into the back of her head.
“Miorine… you’re a hard woman to give up on, you know that?”
“Th- that's very sweet of you,” she sobbed, leaning back into Suletta for support, putting her hands over Suletta’s own. How is it that nearly everything she says brings me to tears…? “B- but it… it doesn’t answer my question. Why? Why would you… learn how to do my hair after I left?”
“I… I still wanted to be with you, after you left. B- but I mean, I… couldn’t, because… y’know. So I, um… did what I could to- to cope, I guess. I looked up a few tutorials on the style of hair you wear, memorized them, and it… it felt like I was with you again. For those few minutes.” For those few minutes. Suddenly, Miorine understood completely. She’d done the same, after all, hadn’t she?
“Do you… remember the GUND-Arm commercial you and the rest of Earth House made?” Suletta nodded, grinning. “W- well, I… watched that stupid, hastily assembled thing every day, after I left. Every single day. I think you understand why.”
“Oh, to… to remind yourself of what you were there to do? Despite bringing Aerial there with you, you went to Earth to… to fix things. To heal.” Despite how she acts sometimes, she really is a smart girl.
“Yes, but… but I had another reason.” Miorine turned in her bride’s lap, let herself lean back even further, rested her cheek on Suletta’s shoulder, looking up at her from so very close. Pretty… “I watched it because you were in it. Because whenever I did, it felt like I was with you again. For those few minutes.”
“O- oh, um, r- really…?” Suletta blushed, her hands squeezing Miorine’s. She’s so much cuter up close. I mean, I knew that, but… wow. “Th- that’s… that makes me happy, Miorine. I- I had a lot of fun making that, even if doing it was… uh, unpleasant in the moment, sometimes.” Such a ray of sunshine you are, Suletta. The light of my life. I will love you forever, even if I can never say it.
“Even if there's a handful of shots in it where you’re so clearly sleep-deprived from the crunch I put everyone through for it?” Both of them giggled.
“Yeah! Yeah, it… well, I mean, it sucked, obviously. It came out awful, everybody was exhausted after making it, but… but it was fun.” Suletta’s gaze softened. “Working with you… no, being with you was fun. Is fun. It always was.”
“Even… even now, after… after what I did to you?” Her bride beamed at her.
“Especially now, dummy! I’m so happy we’re together again…”
“Me too, Suletta… me too.” Without another word, Miorine sat up straighter and pressed a kiss to her bride’s lips. “I’m glad you’ve forgiven me,” she murmured. Or would’ve murmured, had Suletta not stood up so quickly it knocked her onto the floor.
“A- ah! M- M- Miorine are you okay I’m sorry I just-” she kept on apologizing for a bit, but Miorine could only laugh. Yes, her head hurt from hitting the floor, but it wasn’t a very big fall, and she was still partially reveling in the fact that she’d just kissed Suletta! She really is the silliest, isn’t she? Of course she got so surprised when I did that… she’s easily spooked, and, and… we’ve never… Now her thoughts turned sour. Did I deserve to do that first? Did I deserve to initiate it?
“M… Miorine? Really, are you okay?” Suletta’s worry pulled her out of her mood. She remembered what her bride had said, before she’d opened the door. ‘The things I’ve done, I can’t take them back. I just have to move forward.’ I need to start taking her advice already.
“Yeah, I… I’m okay. You didn’t hurt me.” Suletta let out a sigh of relief, but Miorine didn’t sit up. “Come… come down here with me, okay?”
“On the floor?” She laughed again.
“Yes, on the floor, silly. Come lay down with me.” Her bride did as she was told, laying on her side, facing Miorine, taking her hands again. “I’m… sorry I did that.” Suletta shook her head, squeezed her hands.
“H- hey, no, you… you don’t need to apologize for that! It was… nice.”
“Yeah, it was, but- but I should’ve asked first. Not doing that was rude of me.”
“I mean, yeah I guess, but… it was still okay for you. To- to… k- kiss me. I just, um… yeah, I guess I… expected a little warning, is all. I’m sorry I knocked you onto the floor…”
“Which was my own fault for not giving you warning. For not asking.” Suletta frowned, and opened her mouth to speak, but Miorine pressed on. “And anyway, that was silly, and cute. Fitting, coming from my silly and cute bride.” Her silly and cute bride blushed, and became even cuter, just like she always did.
“Ah, um um, um um um! M- Miorine… that’s… that’s good. But you should…” Suletta brought a hand up to Miorine’s cheek, and she barely resisted the urge to tilt her head and kiss it, “you should stop blaming yourself. Please?” Miorine sighed.
“Okay, yes, you’re right, but… I mean, you’ve gotta admit, I should’ve been able to predict how you would react to that. I know you well enough for that, don’t I?”
“I… suppose so. I’m still going to insist it wasn’t your fault, though!” She could no longer resist the urge. Her hands have the vague, almost-not-a-smell of… soil. Of course they do.
“I know you will.” Miorine smiled, and kissed the back of her lover’s hand again. “Do you… want to do it again?” Suletta’s hand tried to move back to cover her face, but Miorine prevented it, pressing another kiss to it. Soft…
“Um! Y- yes, I um… I would. I would like that. I want to do that a- again.” She smiled sheepishly. “W- without the, um… knocking you onto the floor part, ehe…”
“We can still do i- kiss on the floor.” That she’d been about to say ‘we can still do it on the floor’ made Miorine’s cheeks go aflame. There’s that innuendo I knew would come out! “If you want. Clearly getting back up would be more… comfortable, but I think this is… silly. Your choice.”
“Remember what I said, Miorine?” Suletta asked, untangling their fingers and cupping her on the cheek. “Nothing’s uncomfortable when I’m with you.” Oh, so it was a rhetorical question, Miorine thought.
And then Suletta’s lips came against hers, soft, tender, and gentle, and there were no other thoughts after that. Not for a long time.
She’s so sweet with me, Miorine managed to think once they parted. Suletta’s fingers squeezed hers, her thumb brushed back and forth over hers, her hand shifted ever so slightly over her cheek. Miorine found herself crying, again, looking at the way Suletta blushed after breaking the kiss, the way she smiled. How can she… how does she do it? How does she so utterly affect me with everything she does?
Of course, the answer was obvious.
Because she loves me. She loves me so utterly. She always has.
“Miorine… you’re crying again, are you… is this really okay?”
“Yes, yes, it’s okay, it’s- it’s perfect. You’re perfect, I-” she broke off into a sob, again, and drew herself close to bury her face in Suletta’s chest. “You… you did a good job, Suletta.” An attempt to distract her bride from how often she’d been in tears since they reunited. She noticed, of course.
“Th- thank you…! I, um…” Suletta’s arms went around her again, patting her on the back. She can make even lying on the fucking floor comfortable. I love her so much. “I’m just worried about you, b- because I… you were never a very… you were never prone to, um, this much emotion, b- before…”
“That’s… that one’s definitely your fault, S- Suletta…” she murmured, maybe quiet enough that her bride wouldn’t hear. She did, of course. Miorine knew she did, because she felt her lips touch down on her hair again. “You- you turned me into a… into a goddamn crybaby idiot, and I- I… I lo-” SAY IT! SAY IT! SAY YOU LOVE HER FOR IT! “I l- love… it.” NO!!! “You changed me, again. Made me care.”
“I’m… I know, Miorine. You’ve said that before.” She made a happy little noise, held Miorine closer. “I’m glad I got to make you a better person, Miorine.” Another ragged sob.
“You- you do that with… with everyone. Elan, Chu-Chu, even Guel. How… how do you do it?” Miorine knew. She did. She knew exactly how Suletta affected everyone around her, how she made better everything and everyone she touched.
“I… I dunno. I just try and be nice, because being mean is… it’s mean, and then everyone ended up liking me. I wasn’t expecting to… affect people, like I did.”
“I know how.” Suletta made an inquisitive noise this time. “It’s because you’re perfect.”
“M- Miorine, I’m not-”
“You are,” she insisted, still not leaving her hiding spot. “You are, you’re the light of my life, you change everyone around you for the better, you make everything better, and I- I…” I love you. I love you. I love you. Say it. Just say it already! “And… and I don’t deserve you.” She meant it, she meant both.
“Miorine… we’ve been over this. You do.” I know, I know we have, but I still think it’s true. I think it’s true again, because for a while I believed I did deserve you. And then I remembered how wonderful you are. But she couldn’t say any of that. She was too busy sobbing. Again. “Okay, okay… you’re coming to bed with me again. You need more cuddling.”
Miorine clung to Suletta’s jacket, to the jacket that was the emblem of her bride, as she stood. Then her bride picked her up effortlessly, kissed her on the forehead, plopped her back down on the bed, sidled up with her to let her hide away again, and pulled the covers over the both of them. There, she wept until she couldn’t for what must’ve been the fourth or fifth time. She- she really does affect me… I love her.
When she was done, Miorine rose back out, once again feeling bad at herself for making a mess of the jacket, and looked into Suletta’s eyes. Her bride smiled at her, ruffled her hair, and just like that she was choking back another sob. Every fucking thing with her!
“All done, Miorine? All, um… all out?” She laughed, and pushed the top of her head up into Suletta’s chin. “Is that a… yes?”
“I- I think so. Do you… do you have any idea how often I’ve thought that myself, since… since seeing you again?”
“Well, no, but… you have been crying a lot, with me. I would assume many times…?”
“Yeah. Many times.” Miorine sighed, nuzzled her lips into Suletta’s neck. The flustered little noise she made in response was cute… but they didn’t have time for that kind of thing. They’d already agreed on that. “You really do affect me, Suletta. You change me.”
“I know. I’m glad I do.” They just laid there for a bit, in silence. Miorine loved it. “Do you… want to leave yet?” She had her answer instantly.
“No.”
“Okay. We’ll stay together for as long as you want.” Forever. Please, stay with me forever. I want you to keep that promise the most out of all of them. Somehow, she managed not to cry, thinking of that moment. Of those moments, good and bad.
“Can we… hold each other a little differently?” Miorine asked.
“How so?”
“I… I um, I want you to spoon me.” Suletta said nothing. Does she only want to cuddle face-to-face…? I'd understand if she did. She's cute, and- and we could kiss more that way… “I mean like, my back to your chest and, um… y'know. Arms and legs around me. Because y- you're taller than I am I think it'd be nice and, a- and…”
“Oh, that! Yes, sorry, I just didn't know the term.” Oh, good, okay. “Turn around then, silly.” She did so, cheeks going red as her bride’s hair when Suletta’s arms and legs really did wrap around her and pull her in. The way Suletta’s chest felt against her back, the tender little trap she held Miorine in… yeah, she really is perfect.
“F- for not… not knowing the term, you, um… really seem to know how to do this properly,” Miorine commented, tangling their fingers together once more.
“Back on Mercury, I had this big plushie when I was a kid. It was a… a… oh, what's the creature called?” Without further details, she couldn't help come up with the answer, but Suletta got it on her own. “A shark! It was really big, and I would always hold it like this when I got scared or lonely or sad at night.” She's… she's comparing me to a childhood plushie. I love this simple country bumpkin so fucking much.
“And you… hold me like you held it?”
“Mhm!”
“Was it… is this, um… position better with me, or with it?” Suletta giggled, and kissed the back of her head.
“With you of course, silly! Compared to hugging you, that thing feels like hugging a rock.”
“R- really? I'm… I'm not that soft, am I?” Another little kiss.
“Yes, you are. You're… you're kinder than you give yourself credit for, Miorine.”
“I… thank you.”
There weren’t any words for a while after that. Suletta just hummed away happily, occasionally shifting her limbs around Miorine, pressing her lips to Miorine’s hair. She liked how both of those felt, and some small part of her wished she could feel more of Suletta’s skin against her own. Suletta had only shorts on, while she’d picked out a full pair of pants for Miorine, and Miorine wanted to feel… no, no no no, shut up you stupid horny fiancé! She settled for simply holding her hands, keeping their fingers twined together, kissing them. Suletta’s hands really did slightly smell of the greenhouse’s soil, so she did that fairly often. Aside from Suletta herself, that place was what she missed most about Asticassia. When this is all over, when we get married and live on Earth together, we should have a tomato garden.
Eventually, just when Miorine had been preparing to get ready to go herself, Suletta broke the lovely silence.
“Miorine… can I… say something?” She squeezed her bride’s hands, bringing one up to her mouth for a kiss.
“Y- yes, of course.” Suletta let out a nervous sigh.
“O- okay. Um. Um! I… I love you, Miorine.” Suddenly she was struggling very hard not to scream. The emotion that clenched at her every muscle wasn’t the one she thought it would be, when Suletta said it. Not love, not regret, not relief, not even self-hatred or the vague sense that she didn’t deserve even this. No, it was none of those things.
Fear.
She doesn’t think she’s going to make it. She thinks there’s a chance she might not come back.
She’s saying it now because she thinks this might be our last chance. Our last moments together.
Whirling around in Suletta’s arms, Miorine put both hands on her bride’s cheeks, frantically begging, “S- Suletta, no, please not now you can't be saying that right when-”
“When what, when you betrayed me? I’ve forgiven you for that. I still love you in spite of it. I always have.” Miorine shook her head, tears pouring out once again, even after she thought they’d been run dry a million separate times. Her lover looked at her, worry on her face. Her lover combed fingers through her hair, care in her motions.
“N- no, no, it’s- it’s not that. That’s not it. It’s… what you’re about to do. Saying that now when we- we've never… it means, to me, that- that…” she couldn’t finish. She didn’t want to finish, didn’t want to say it, didn’t want to even think it. That horrible three-letter word. Just saying it might jinx it.
It took a few seconds for Suletta to realize what she meant. Miorine noticed the instant she did, because another reason she’d fallen for Suletta was that she always wore her emotions on her sleeve. So when her bride smiled so gently at her, with tears in her eyes too, she knew.
“Okay. I understand. I promise you, Miorine, that I will come back.”
Her bride always kept her promises.
“Thank you. Th- thank you, I…” she buried her face back in Suletta’s chest, “I… I can’t say how much that m- means to me. But I… don’t know if I can… say it. When there's this- this sense of… finality. Like it's still our last chance to- to say that to each other. You promised, yes, but… after. After. I can say it after.” Suletta made a happy noise, and wrapped her arms tighter around Miorine, pulling her in. She accepted this fate gladly.
“Aww, Miorine, I- I… that’s okay. It’s okay. I know you do, Miorine. I know you do, and that’s enough for me.”