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Can I finally rest?

Summary:

Sigma is lonely, tired. All the works. He needs a break. He tries for one. It fails.

(How tf do I summarize help)

Featuring Sskk ><

Notes:

THIS TOOK A MONTH TO WRITE HELP…. Anyways, warnings: Suicide Attempt, Self Harm.

It’s kinda shortt T^T, oh well lol.

Second fic posted today, enjoy!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

“Sigma-san?”

A short white-haired boy poked at Sigma who was laying peacefully in his bed.

Sigma groaned.

“Atsushi-kun, do you need something?” He asked, still half asleep.

Atsushi narrowed his eyebrows.

“Sigma-san… it’s 4pm and you’re still not out of bed. Are you feeling alright? Should I call Dr. Yosano-?” The Weretiger asked as he began to pull out his phone. However, Sigma tightly grabbed Atsushi’s hand, preventing him from doing anything on the phone.

“I’m alright, just a tough day at the casino yesterday.” He mumbled

Atsushi began to remove Sigma’s hand from his own,

“If you say so,” Atsushi said in a worried tone.

Sigma pulled his blanket over his head, then shooed Atsushi away.

Once Atsushi left the room, he went to his own, and got ready for his work. Which he was already late to, since he was worrying about Sigma.

Just as the weretiger was about to leave, he called over one of Sigma’s few friends, asked that friend to come over, then left their small apartment complex.

———————————————————

As soon as Atsushi walked in his work’s building, he immediately got scolded and questioned by a blond man in glasses.

“You brat! Where have you been, huh, lad? You think you can just show up 4 hours late!?”

A brown haired man began to quiet the blond one.

“Shh, shh, Kunikida-kunn~! I’m sure Atsushi-kun here has a reason for being late… hm?”

The man wrapped in bandages looked at Atsushi, waiting for a response.

Atsushi bowed.

“I’m very sorry for being late! “ Atsushi stood up from his bow and continued. “Sigma, well, my roommate. He’s been dealing with something, and he only just woke up at 4pm. I was super worried, you know? I’ll try to not let it happen again!”

The “Sorry-waste of good bandages” turned his expression more serious at the name of his friend.

“Sigma huh, hope he’s alright…”

Kunikida turned to his ally,

“GET BACK TO WORK DAZAI! YOU HAVE LOADS OF PAPERWORK TO COMPLETE!” The man yelled at Osamu.

Dazai began to groan, but sluggishly dragged himself back to his desk. Kunikida turned back to Atsushi, who was visibly sweating.

“As for you… I’d like for you to go investigate the Port a bit, lad.”

Atsushi raised an eyebrow. “The port?” He said.

Kunikida nodded, “I heard there was a murder there, along with someone from the Port Mafia. We need to teach some of our other members to solve cases too, we can’t leave it all to Ranpo. Apparently there’s a lot of evidence, and they can’t solve it, nothing a bit of extra iq from you can’t solve.” Kunikida flicked Atsushi’s forehead lightly.

Atsushi agreed to go, the said goodbye to Kunikida. And he went to go investigate the murder at the port.

———————————————————

*SLAM!*

“SIGMAA! GET UP NOW, LET’S GO HAVE FUN!”

A jester storms in Sigma’s small apartment, and the crazy man stormed straight to Sigma’s room.

“SIGMA!”

“Gogol… leave me alone.”

Nikolai stuck his pointer finger up. “No no, we can’t have that, my dear friend. Come on! Let us go kill some people!”

“No, Gogol. That’s not my field. Plus, I don’t wanna.” Sigma whined.

“Come onn~ let’s break the set rules a bit, Sigma.” Nikolai cheered

The boy in bed flipped the jester off, and pulled the cover over his head again.

Nikolai groaned, then picked up the blanket and threw it to the floor.

“NIKOLAI!”

The jester side-eyed Sigma. “Why are you wearing long sleeves, it’s hot as hell. Even my outfit’s lighter, and I’m wearing short sleeves and shorts.”

“Just shut up, Gogol.” Sigma mumbled.

“Woow~ so rude to your dear friend. I feel offended!” The jester said playfully.

Sigma gave a deadpanned look to his friend “You’re crazy,” he said.

“I know! But seriously, what’s wrong with you?” Nikolai asked his friend.

“Nothing, I’m fine.” The man replied, clearly uncomfortable.

Nikolai had been deemed a psychopathic person, but, nonetheless. He went to sat next to Sigma on his bed, silent.

Sigma ignored him, or tried to atleast.

Sigma sighed, “How’s the casino?” He asked his jester friend.

Nikolai looked over, “It’s good,” he said. “I had to yell at people saying it was closed though…”

Sigma began to laugh a bit, “Pfft, seriously?”

“Yup!”

After around 30 minutes, Sigma finally got up. His hair was messy, it going all over his head. His long-sleeved, oversized white Tshirt lay snug on him, and his… HELLO KITTY PANTS!? Were also on, loose.

Nikolai put on a smug grin, “Look who finally decided to get up~”

Sigma stretched his arms while giving a side-eye to Nikolai.

*knock knock*

“Hm, that’s some good timing!”

“I’ll get it, it’s good for me to move anyways.” Sigma spoke.

Nikolai nodded, and Sigma began to walk to his front door.

Sigma opened the door, “Hello, how can I help you.” He suddenly became tense, it was the cops.

“Is there someone named Nikolai Gogol here?”

———————————————————
Port:

Atsushi arrived at the port, and he saw Akutagawa.

The weretiger almost ran away, untill the cops there told him to stay put.

There were handcuffs on Akutagawa’s wrists. And as the black haired boy looked at the white haired boy, he said “Weretiger, I swear I didn’t kill this man.”

Atsushi wasn’t buying it, that is untill he actually looked at the evidence.

White cloth with weird patterns, a peice of a top hat, even a staff all left behind. There was some sort of fading yellow lingering around the long dead man aswell.

“No… surely not.?” The white-haired boy thought to himself.

Atsushi walked up to the cop who was closest to Akutagawa, and he confirmed it wasn’t him. The cop let Akutagawa go, and Atsushi pulled him aside.

“How the hell did you get involved!?” The weretiger asked.

Akutagawa shook his head. “I’m not *koff* s-*koff* sure.”

Atsushi raised an eyebrow, “Why are you coughing?”

“*koff* I forgot to *koff* take cough me-*koff* medicine.” The boy spoke in between coughs.

Atsushi pulled a peice of cough medicine out of his pocket, “I think Dazai-san snuck it in here. By the way, didn’t the Port Mafia stop murdering or something? Why would the cops assume it was you?”

Akutagawa ate the candy, “Well, it’s more so *koff* that some people just gave up on it. I’m taking a break however.”

Atsushi: “Ofcourse you are..”

Atsushi suddenly turned his expression serious, and he spoke in a hushed tone. “Hey, so listen. I know who it is, but the killer is my roomate’s bestfriend, so I’m not sure what to do.”

Akutagawa: “Doesn’t your roomate run a casino?-“

Atsushi threw his hand against Akutagawa’s mouth. “Shh, shh!”

“HEY, LISTEN WE NEED THIS CASE SOLVED.” One cop yelled at the two.

Atsushi had to make a quick decision, do good or act clueless. He decided to choose the first option, even though it might make his roomate hate him. Forever.

Atsushi: “The culprit it Nikolai Gogol, he’s a friend of a friend, and is currently at ____.”

The cops nodded, thanked Atsushi, and sent a few officers to go arrest him.

Akutagawa akwardly pulled Atsushi’s hand from his face. “Uh, where are you headed to?”

Atsushi sluggishly answered, “The Agency’s office,” he answered.

“C-can I come?” Akutagawa began to akwardly fidget with his sleeve.

Atsushi looked at his friend with a surprised expression. “Kunikida would be mad…” he mumbled to himself.

“Who?” Akutagawa asked.

“Nevermind,” Atsushi replied. “…Sure, you can see how it goes.”

And the weretiger began to walk away, his black haired friend following closely behind.

———————————————————

Sigma began to panic, on the inside atleast. On the outside, his face was stern.

“Nope, it’s just me, sir.” Sigma said calmly.

The police officer thanked Sigma for his time, and then reluctantly left, and as soon as they were out of sight, a yell from sigma could be heard.

“GOGOL, WHAT DID YOU DO!?”

The jester rushed out of Sigma’s bedroom, and into where his friend is.

Nikolai: “What?”

Sigma: “The cops just came to our door, searching for YOU.”

Nikolai fidgeted with his hat a bit, “Okay okay, so I may have forgot to clean up the scene, and by the time I relised, I couldn’t get my stuff back. But I figured no one would even know what I left behind belonged to me!”

Sigma: “WELL APPARENTLY THEY DID…I MEAN! YOU LITERALLY HAVE A REALLY RECOGNIZABLE OUTFIT YOU MORON! You need to hide.”

Nikolai: “I’ll just disguise myself, it’s finee. And! How was I supposed to know! I thought cops were idiots!”

Sigma rolled his eyes, “Whatever you say…”

———————————————————

As Atsushi entered the Agency’s office, Akutagawa snuck sneakly behind the weretiger. And then, he sat unneath Atsushi’s desk as he did paperwork.

Atsushi looked down to see Akutagawa staring at him. “Really gonna sit under there, Aku?” The white-haired boy asked.

“Mhm,” Akutagawa answered quietly.

“Hey, Atsushi-kun!”

“Helloo~”

Atsushi looked over to see the Tanizaki siblings. “Tanizaki-san! Naomi-san! Great to see you two.” The weretiger exclaimed.

Naomi grabbed her brother’s arm, and started stroking it while replying that it was good to see Atsushi aswell.

Akutagawa peeked out a bit, and noticed that someone caught his eye, and he hid again.

Tanizaki raised an eyebrow at the eye he’d just seen. “Hey… uh, Atsushi-kun?”

“Yea, Tanizaki-san,” he replied cheerfully.

“What’s under your desk?” Tanizaki asked calmly.

The man-tiger tensed up, “Nothing!” He said in a higher voice then he mean’t too.

“Uh huh…” Tanizaki replied, definitely not buying it. “Ranpo-san!”

“Tanizaki-san-“ Atsushi sharpy said.

Ranpo began to cheerfully walk in, a lolipop in his mouth. “You needed me, Tanizaki?” Ranpo asked.

“Yes, if you’re free, Ranpo-san. Please learn what’s under Atsushi’s desk.”

Ranpo pulled out his glasses and put them on. “SUPER DETUCTION!” He exclaimed.

Atsushi: “Seriously, you called our smartest detective for this? I’ve already to you it’s nothing-“ Atsushi was cut off by Ranpo’s voice.

“Ryuunosuke Akutagawa, a highly wanted member of the mafia. He’s currently curled up into a ball, probably shocked by what I know without even looking.”

Atsushi slammed his head against his desk.

“But now! The question is, why? Why do you have a wanted mafia member under your desk , Atsushi-kun?” Ranpo said curiously.

Naomi peered over, trying to get a good look of the boy. “You can come out!”

Akutagawa reluctantly climbed out from under his friend’s desk, and he held on to the back of Atsushi’s uniform as he tried to hide himself.

Ranpo coughed rather loudly, “Wow, uhm… he’s quite clingy. Anyways, I think you two should explain on your own. Cya!” Ranpo began stomping away as he unwrapped the wrapper of a new lolipop out of his pocket.

“Ranpo-san-“ Atsushi said.

“RANPO, YOU’RE PRE-DIABETIC, QUIT EATING ANOTHER LOLIPOP!” A girl from a different room yelled at the unwrapping of the candy.

The Tanizaki siblings looked at Atsushi, waiting for him to explain. But before Atsushi could even find the words, Kunikida walked in.

His eyes were closed, and he was mumbling to Atsushi. “Lad, you’ve returned. How’d it go? Who was the Port Mafia member that was there?”

Akutagawa clinged onto Atsushi even more, and the four of them were silent, not daring to move a muscle.

Kunikida raised an eyebrow, then opened his eyes only to see the black-haired man clinging onto Atsushi.

Kunikida recognized him, it was the one person he told Atsushi to stay away from.

“ATSUSHI YOU MORON, WHY IS AKUTAGAWA IN HERE!?” Kunikida yelled.

Akutagawa put his head on Atsushi’s shoulder as the weretiger was struggling to find the words to now explain to three people.

Atsushi: “He- uh…”

Atsushi finally found the words, and spoke really fast. “Okay so basically, Akutagawa was at the port in handcuffs, I learned that Akutagawa did not kill the man and I told the officers, then after I finished the case, Akutagawa asked if he could come to the Agency for reasons I don’t know.” Atsushi exhaled his air. “Phew.”

Kunikida’s eye twitched slightly “Get him out.” He said firmly.

Akutagawa peeked out from behind Atsushi, his eyes somewhat hostile towards the blond man, he began to mumble under his breath “Rashoma-“ he was cut of by Atsushi who told him to be quiet and tell everyone why he wanted to come to the Agency.

Atsushi nudged Akutagawa, and Akutagawa reluctantly walked out from behind Atsushi.

“I-I wanted to come to the Agency to be with the weretiger.” Akutagawa said shyly.

The Tanizaki siblings began to laugh a bit, and Kunikida facepalmed himself. Ranpo, who was in a completely different section loudly yelled “YES! I GOT IT RIGHT!” Suddenly, a man who was covered in bandages walked in.

“Ah! Kunikida-kun, why’d ya leave~??” Dazai said happily, “My, my! Is that you Akutagawa kun~?” He said cheerfully. “What the hell are you doing here?” Dazai said in a more serious tone.

Atsushi began to scramble once more “He’s with me!” He said hurriedly.

Dazai waved it off, the told Atsushi to go home. Kunikida began to argue with the bandaged man, but Dazai said Atsushi needed to check on Sigma, and if Atsushi left Akutagawa would too. So, Kunikida reluctantly agreed to let Atsushi go home.

And like Dazai had predicted, Akutagawa followed closely behind the weretiger as he left.

As the pair left Dazai said to the group. “I hope Akutagawa-kun’s doing okay.”

Everyone gave Dazai a glance, wondering the about two’s connection. However, nonetheless, they didn’t ask about it. And Dazai walked back upstairs, and Kunikida followed.

———————————————————

“How do I look?” A man with a black wig and multicolored eyes said to his friend.

“Well, you don’t look like yourself, that’s for sure.” His friend replied.

The man with the black hair cheered. “YES!” He said.

Sigma gave him a weird look, then he told him to leave before the police get back.

His friend waved goodybye, then left.

Once Nikolai left, Sigma slumped to the floor. Light tears rolling down his face.

“It’s hot, it’s so fucking hot,” he thought to himself. He was about to take off his shirt, almost. But right when he was about to, the door opened.

“Sigma-san? How are you! AH! You’re out of bed!” The weretiger exclaimed as he walked into their shared apartment.

“A-Atsushi-kun!” Sigma said with a startled manner.

Atsushi: “Woah! Are you okay?”

Sigma nodded, indicating that he was okay, even when he wasn’t.

The icecream haired man noticed the black haired boy behind his friend, “Hey Akutagawa-kun.” Sigma said.

“Hey,” Akutagawa said in a quiet tone.

Atsushi nudged Akutagawa, “Let me bring you to my room! Oh also, would the both of you like some food?” The weretiger asked, kindly.

Sigma shook his head no, while Akutagawa nodded his head.

The weretiger frowned, “Sigma-san, you need to eat some sort of food.”

The icecream haired man shook his head once more, “Thank you very much, but I am not hungry right now.”

Atsushi walked over and grabbed Sigma’s arm to drag him to their kitchen. Well, that’s what he was going to do. But his action was interrupted by a yelp.

“OW-!” Sigma yelled while Atsushi immediately pulled his hand back.

“Sigma! Are you alright?” The Weretiger asked hesitantly as Akutagawa peered from behind.

Sigma nodded, “I-I’m fine, i-it just caught me off guard…”

Atsushi frowned, and Sigma akwardly said goodbye as he walked back to his room.

“Why that little…” Nakajima groaned.

“Weretiger?” Akutagawa asked.

“…Yes?” The orphan replied.

“Are you mad?” The boy asked.

Atsushi shook his head— “I don’t think so, Aku. I think I’m more so worried.”

Akutagawa nodded, “Ok.”

Atsushi frowned, then went to prepare his black-haired friend some food.

——————————-

“Sigma-san! It’s time to wake up!”

The weretiger was seen poking at his sleeping roomate’s face, attempting to wake him up.

Sigma’s eyes fluttered open, a stotic expression on his face. “What time is it, Atsushi-kun?”

“It’s 9:00 AM! Akutagawa already left, he had a mission earlier today, and I figured you should go to your casino.”

Atsushi could tell Sigma’s expression darkening, “What’s the date, Atsushi-kun?”

The white-haired boy raised an eyebrow, “It’s August 9th, why?”

His roomate’s eyes widened, his face going pale.

“Sigma-san! Are you alright?” Atsushi questioned, quickly getting worried.

The ice-cream haired man shot up out of bed, his sleeves slightly pulling up then falling down again.

Atsushi managed to catch a small glimpse, it seemed he had cuts on his arms.

Perhaps it was just an accident, is what the weretiger prayed for.

Sigma shook his head, “Sorry for worrying you, Atsushi-kun. I should get going.”

The white-haired boy nodded, leaving the room and closing the door behind him.

Once the 3 year old was alone, he began to change.

Taking off his long-sleeved shirt, he couldn’t help but feel dissapointed at the scars and cuts on his arms.

“Useless,” is what repeated in Sigma’s head.

He changed into his usual clothing, making sure to leave his room neat.

Once Sigma left the room, Atsushi crowded Sigma, a happy, and childish look on his face.

“Sigma-san! You’re up and dressed!”

Sigma nodded in return, then wore a warm smile, his eyes glistening.

“I’ll be on my way now, bye, Atsushi-kun.”

Atsushi waved Sigma off as he went out the door.

He was glad Sigma was back to normal.

—————————————

Sigma didn’t open the Casino, he tidied the place up. Sigma knew what he was going to do, he had it all planned.

He left an apology note right on the main table, directed towards those he cared about.

Atsushi, Nikolai, even Dazai. They’d lost contact though.

It was pathetic, 3 people he cared about.

It was normal.

He finished cleaning, and Sigma went to the top floor, he could feel his chest tightening.

Once he reached the top floor, he went outside, taking off his shoes as he stepped on the ledge.

Staring down at the ground, he felt nervous. Sigma wasn’t too fond of heights. He grew scared of them when someone once fell of the edge.

He was more scared for his Casino closing down actually that time the person fell off.

That wasn’t something a good person should think.

Sigma took a step, then another, and he began to fall.

Falling felt peaceful, and forever. His hair hair flew around his face, his ears tightened from the fall.

Sigma closed his eyes, small tears slipping down.

He suddenly felt something sucking him in, Sigma’s eyes widened fast. And before he knew it, he was on the grassy ground of a nearby mountain, he blinked.

“Where, what!?”

He saw Nikolai standing above him.

“Sigma? What a surprise! What are you doing, my dear friend?”

Sigma could feel his face burning, perhaps out of embarrassment.

Nikolai put a finger to his cheek, “I’m not an idiot! You were trying to kill yourself!”

Sigma got up, stumbling a bit, Nikolai wrapped Sigma’s arm around his own neck.

“For balance.” He stated. “I don’t understand your feelings, but I’ll try my best to help you.”

Sigma shook his head, “Your disguise!?”

Nikolai waved his free hand, “Nah, it’s finee~ I killed the officers who were looking for me.”

Sigma looked down at the floor.

“Now, my friend. Killing yourself won’t slide with me!”

Sigma nodded slowly, a tired look in his eyes.

—————————-

Sigma returned to his apartment that day with Nikolai, his eyes puffy. He spotted Akutagawa and Atsushi chatting amoung eachother, a happy look in their eyes.

And when Atsushi saw Sigma, he stumbled over, pure excitement on his face.

“Sigma-san! You’re home! Here, do you two want to eat with us?”

Atsushi began to lead him and Nikolai to the table, both of them nodding.

“I’m home.” Sigma whispered.

Atsushi grinned, “Always welcomed!”

Notes:

Still on my cruise, time to write my next bsd oneshot!

Series this work belongs to: