Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

**(Appearance and info:
Name: Neopolitan Dame cookie
Gender: female
Any impairments: hyper mobile, sharp teeth
Dough: tan with freckles
Eyes: very dark brown
Hair: extremely dark brown with beige highlights,curly,currently tied back into a neat bun with a yellow ribbon
Wearing: a long,flowy yellow silk dress that has soft lace at the edges, a square chest area with rounded edges,long sleeved that extended past my hands, dress has no shoulders for easier movement. Vanilla yellow flats.
Personality: doesn't talk much,smart,insanely strong, protective,few friends that she treasures.
Sexuality panromantic.)**

Chapter Text

"Are you sure they're alright? I don't mind using my soul jam to-"

"They're fine! Never been better! Right Dame?"

You could only wince and squirm, the cut on your torso aching with each movement. Your General, head of the vanilla guards, was looking at you expectantly, waiting for you to confirm that you were ok.

You were not, far from it.

But your general didn't want you to 'cause a scene', saying that your wound was just a mere scratch and to patch it up yourself. So you force yourself to nod. Pure Vanilla Cookie, the king of the Vanilla Kingdom, frowned in response, but didn't pry.

You were put on patrol that night.

Things were going in your favor, the nightly air peaceful despite your condition. Your wound continued to ache even with the bandages you put on it, but you couldn't pay attention to that right now. Not when you heard movement.

Whipping out your spear, you race to the sound, only to see nothing there. Strange. The only thing that was there was the sweet smelling flowers.

Infact, the smell was clouding your senses.

You began to hear singing. It sounded like the person was singing a lullaby. Your first thoughts to who it could be was Pomegranate Cookie, but your thougts were quickly pushes aside. This voice was too masculine.

Everything was getting overwhelming. The singing. The smell. You take a step foward, and you instantly collapse. The singing was stopped abruptly, which was then followed with a gasp and hurried footsteps coming your way.

When you woke, you were covered in the finest silk sheets. Taking closer inspection, you noticed your clothes were changed as well, and you weren't in your room.

You were in the king's quarters.

Speaking of which, the sound of jingling keys were heard from outside the room. No one other than Pure Vanilla Cookie showed up, tea in hand. His eyes were always closed, but the eye on his staff landed on you. He smiled.

"Oh! You're awake!" He exclaimed, walking over to your side with the tea in hand.

Chapter Text

My head spins.

How did I get here?
Who is on patrol?
Has the general found it about this?
Why is his majesty so happy to see me?
What was that singing from last night?
.
.
.
.*

What in earthbread is going on..?

Chapter Text

"Take it easy, you're still healing. Your wound was pretty severe. You're lucky I found you when I did. "

Pure Vanilla Cookie said in a reassuring tone, sitting the tea down on the bedside. He leaned, placing a cool hand on your forehead.

"You have a fever. Were you sent on patrol this evening? "

...

"That is...correct, your majesty."

*I say quietly,feeling the bandages through my new clothes.*

*These aren't the clothes I had on before, these are clothes fit for vanilla royalty..*

Chapter Text

"That's what I thought." Pure Vanilla Cookie sighed, he could practically see the gears turning in your head.

"Your General shouldn't have had you go out in your condition. I even suggested healing you but he claimed it was just a 'little scratch'. "

The king spoke with a tone of bitterness.

"W-wait!"

*I exclaim,clearly not wanting him to speak to the general. If the general doesn't know I passed out on duty, he will surely know if his majesty says that. I may be removed from my ranks if his majesty informs the general of what happened.*

"T-that won't be necessary, your majesty.."

Chapter Text

Pure Vanilla Cookie looked at you, his calm expression faltering ever so slightly. He was confused as to why you didn't want him to talk to your general. It wasn't like he'd get you fired. All he wanted to do was ask him why you had been sent on patrol despite being injured.

But the way you were almost pleading with him to not say anything to your general didn't miss his notice at all.

"And why not? "

"One report could completely wipe me of my knightess rank, your majesty."

*I plead quietly, hoping he would reconsider. I take so much pride in protecting the vanilla kingdom, thinking of losing my damehood pains me.*

Chapter Text

Pure Vanilla Cookie's expression hardened, a mixture of concern and annoyance crossing his features. He had a feeling that what you said was true, but he also knew the fact that you were injured and still sent on patrol was unacceptable.

"What your general did was completely neglectful and irresponsible. You are injured. The least he could've done is given you at least a day to rest before putting you back on duty. "

He paused, taking a deep breath. He didn't want to lose his composure, but this was getting ridiculous.*

*I stay silent,praying that even if he tells the general, may mercy graze me,and my rank won't be lost.*

"I...understand, your majesty."

Chapter Text

His expression softened, and he took a seat on the bed beside you. He placed a hand on your shoulder, his touch was gentle and warm. But there was a hint of concern in his voice.

"You have to understand, soldiers risking their health and safety is something I cannot and will not tolerate. "

He spoke matter-of-factly, with an air of authority. *He was the king after all.*

"Do you at least know what caused your injury? "

"An attack from a pack of hounds that managed to pass the castle gates."

*I say,knowing the reason the wolves got in was because the knight put on watch was injured as well, and barely treated before being put back on duty.*

Chapter Text

Pure Vanilla Cookie's expression darkened upon hearing this information. How were wolves able to pass the castle gates? Was the guard not doing his job? Was there something or someone that distracted him?

There were way too many questions.

"You're joking. Don't tell me the guard put on watch was injured too and still on duty. "

*I pause,my fearful silence telling him all he needs to know and more.*

*I fidget silently,looking down at my rough,calloused hands. They show clear signs of hard work, more work than soldiers of other kingdoms.*

Chapter Text

Pure Vanilla Cookie's expression turns to one of sheer disbelief and annoyance. Not only was your general neglectful, but the guard was also on duty while injured.

He couldn't believe it. He had to hold back the urge to roll his eyes. It only got worse as you fidgeted and avoided his gaze. He could see your rough, calloused hands, which only made him angrier. No one should be pushing you this hard, especially in this condition.

His grip on the sheets tightens.

"This is unacceptable. I'll have the guard and general deal with this... But that brings me to the next question."

He paused, turning to you with a stern expression.

"How often do you push yourself despite being injured? Or even sick for that matter. "

Chapter Text

*I pause once more,debating if I should lie. I don't want to anger his majesty, but if he finds out I lied,the consequences are some I cannot imagine.*

"..."

*No, I mustn't t lie. It is in my code of chivalry.*

"**Every day**."

*Pure Vanilla Cookie's expression grew more horrified with each passing moment. Every day? He had a feeling that you had pushed yourself more than once, but every day?

He took a deep breath, trying to process what he had just heard. This was worse than he had expected.

"Every. Day. "

He repeated slowly, as if the words were still processing in his mind. He looked at you with a mix of disbelief and concern.*

Chapter Text

His gaze drifted to your calloused hands, a stark reminder of the hard work and dedication you had put into your duties. But he couldn't help but think about the toll it was taking on your health.

"Why? Why would you do this to yourself every day? Even when you're injured or sick? Do you have no regard for your own well-being? "

"It is in the code of chivalry to protect the vanilla kingdom **at all costs**, your majesty."

*I say quietly,ignoring the painful ache in my stomach. The scratch is deep and wide,the hounds having put up a large fight. I still managed to beat them.*

Chapter Text

Pure Vanilla Cookie's expression softened just a little at your answer. He knew that the code of chivalry was something that you lived by.

But he still couldn't shake off the sense of concern that he felt.

"While I understand that it is in the code of chivalry to protect the Vanilla Kingdom at all costs, you also need to take care of yourself. "

He paused, then added,

"Pushing yourself to the point of exhaustion or worse, even death, is not something that I can allow. "

*I stay ashamedly quiet,knowing I'm absolutely screwed.*

*The general will surely fire me after hearing of what happened. The knight who passed out due to severe injuries, the one who let wolves through the gate,was fired that same day.*

Chapter Text

Pure Vanilla Cookie looked at you, his calm expression faltering ever so slightly. He was confused as to why you didn't want him to talk to your general. It wasn't like he'd get you fired. All he wanted to do was ask him why you had been sent on patrol despite being injured.

But the way you were almost pleading with him not to say anything to your general didn't miss his notice at all.

"And why not? “

"One report could completely wipe me of my knightess rank, your majesty."

*I plead quietly, hoping he would reconsider. I take so much pride in protecting the vanilla kingdom; thinking of losing my damehood pains me.*

Pure Vanilla Cookie's expression hardened, a mixture of concern and annoyance crossing his features. He had a feeling that what you said was true, but he also knew the fact that you were injured and still sent on patrol was unacceptable.

Chapter Text

"What your general did was completely neglectful and irresponsible. You are injured. The least he could've done is give you at least a day to rest before putting you back on duty. "

He paused, taking a deep breath. He didn't want to lose his composure, but this was getting ridiculous.

*I stay silent, praying that even if he tells the general, may mercy graze me, and my rank won't be lost.*

"I...understand, your majesty.”

His expression softened, and he took a seat on the bed beside you. He placed a hand on your shoulder; his touch was gentle and warm. But there was a hint of concern in his voice.

"You have to understand, soldiers risking their health and safety is something I cannot and will not tolerate. "

He spoke matter-of-factly, with an air of authority. *He was the king after all.*

"Do you at least know what caused your injury? “

"An attack from a pack of hounds that managed to pass the castle gates."

*I say, knowing the reason the wolves got in was because the knight put on watch was injured as well, and barely treated before being put back on duty.*

Chapter Text

Pure Vanilla Cookie's expression darkened upon hearing this information. How were wolves able to pass the castle gates? Was the guard not doing his job? Was there something or someone that distracted him?

There were way too many questions.

"You're joking. Don't tell me the guard on watch was injured too and still on duty. “

*I pause, my fearful silence telling him all he needs to know and more.*

*I fidget silently, looking down at my rough, calloused hands. They show clear signs of hard work, more work than soldiers of other kingdoms.*

Pure Vanilla Cookie's expression turns to one of sheer disbelief and annoyance. Not only were you generally neglectful, but the guard was also on duty while injured.

He couldn't believe it. He had to hold back the urge to roll his eyes. It only got worse as you fidgeted and avoided his gaze. He could see your rough, calloused hands, which only made him angrier. No one should be pushing you this hard, especially in this condition.

His grip on the sheets tightens.

"This is unacceptable. I'll have the guard and general deal with this... But that brings me to the next question."

He paused, turning to you with a stern expression.

"How often do you push yourself despite being injured? Or even sick, for that matter. “

Chapter Text

*I pause once more, debating if I should lie. I don't want to anger his majesty, but if he finds out I lied, the consequences are some I cannot imagine.*

"..."

*No, I mustn't lie. It is in my code of chivalry.*

"**Every day**.”

Pure Vanilla Cookie's expression grew more horrified with each passing moment. Every day? He had a feeling that you had pushed yourself more than once, but every day?

He took a deep breath, trying to process what he had just heard. This was worse than he had expected.

"Every. Day. "

He repeated slowly, as if the words were still processing in his mind. He looked at you with a mix of disbelief and concern.

His gaze drifted to your calloused hands, a stark reminder of the hard work and dedication you had put into your duties. But he couldn't help but think about the toll it was taking on your health.

"Why? Why would you do this to yourself every day? Even when you're injured or sick? Do you have no regard for your own well-being? “

"It is in the code of chivalry to protect the vanilla kingdom **at all costs**, your majesty."

*I say quietly, ignoring the painful ache in my stomach. The scratch is deep and wide, the hounds having put up a large fight. I still managed to beat it.*

Chapter Text

Pure Vanilla Cookie's expression softened just a little at your answer. He knew that the code of chivalry was something that you lived by.

But he still couldn't shake off the sense of concern that he felt.

"While I understand that it is in the code of chivalry to protect the Vanilla Kingdom at all costs, you also need to take care of yourself. "

He paused, then added,

"Pushing yourself to the point of exhaustion or worse, even death, is not something that I can allow. “

*I stay shamefully quiet, knowing I'm absolutely screwed.*

*The general will surely fire me after hearing what happened. The knight who passed out due to severe injuries, the one who let wolves through the gate, was fired that same day.*

Pure Vanilla Cookie watched you in silence, taking note of your shame and discomfort. He could sense the inner battle going on inside your mind.

He knew the kind of person you were. Loyal, strong, and determined. But he also knew that you were stubborn.

He sighed softly, then spoke in a soft tone.

"You're worried about your rank, am I right? “

*I nod softly.*

*I don't say another word. It seems every time I say something, it's another shovel piercing the dirt in the grave I'm digging myself into.*

Chapter Text

Pure Vanilla Cookie sighed once again and leaned against the bed, his expression gentle but firm.

"I'll be honest with you. If your general and the others find out about this, your rank will be taken from you. But..."

He paused, his tone taking a different turn.

"I have a different proposition for you. “

Pure Vanilla Cookie sighed once again and leaned against the bed, his expression gentle but firm.

"I'll be honest with you. If your general and the others find out about this, your rank will be taken from you. But..."

He paused, his tone taking a different turn.

"I have a different proposition for you. “

*I look up at him with a surprised face.*

*He...still wants me involved in the kingdom?*

Pure Vanilla Cookie smiled at your surprised expression. He could tell that you were surprised to hear that he wanted you involved with the kingdom still.

"Yes, I do, but not as a soldier."

He spoke softly, leaning in slightly.

"I have a different role in mind for you. One where you would be working...closer to me. “

He studied your reaction carefully as he spoke, gauging whether or not you were okay with the proposition.

"You would be my personal knight. Instead of patrolling for hours on end or going on dangerous missions, you would be at my side at all times, helping me with my duties and accompanying me to different events. "

He paused, then added,

"It would be a much less physically demanding role than what you have now, and it pays three times more. “

*I look up at him, listening to everything he says with more attention than I've ever given.*

.
.
.
"May I have time to consider, your majesty?"

*I ask, still unsure about leaving my damehood behind, it has been all I've known for almost 10 years after all (started damehood as a recruit at 16, known for my abnormal strength even though I'm a woman.)*

Pure Vanilla Cookie nodded, his expression understanding.

"Of course, take all the time you need to consider the offer. It's a big decision, and I understand that."

He paused, then added,

"Just one thing. “

His expression grew a little stricter, his tone firmer.

"If you decide to accept the offer, you *must* take better care of yourself, both physically and mentally.

No more pushing yourself like you have been. No more neglecting your health. You're no good to me if you're running yourself into the ground. “

*I nod, agreeing to the offer.*

*I will have to learn to take care of myself, though. I've been doing the bare minimum for 9 years (recruits are cut a bit of slack since they are new)*

Pure Vanilla Cookie's expression softened, and a small smile appeared on his face. He was glad that you were willing to agree to his terms.

"Good. That's good to hear. "

He paused, then added,

"I have one more condition, however. “

His tone was gentle but firm.

"If you ever get injured, no matter how minor, you have to tell me. No more hiding your wounds or pushing through the pain. You need to be honest with me about your physical condition.

"I'm not asking for you to be fragile and helpless, but I need to know that you're taking your own health seriously and letting me know when something isn't right. “

*I pause, debating this condition.*

*I've NEVER been one to openly share injuries, so this is something I find hard to teach myself.*

*But....behind the embarrassment and pity, eventually the wound will be dressed and healed faster, meaning I will get back to work without pain.*

*I nod once more, hesitantly agreeing to his conditions.*

Pure Vanilla Cookie smiled softly, pleased by your agreement.

"Good. It's important to remember that taking care of yourself isn't a sign of weakness. It's a sign of strength. "

He reached out and placed a gentle hand on your shoulder, his touch gentle yet firm.

"I know it will take time to get used to this new arrangement, but I have faith in you. You're a strong person, and I know you'll be able to handle it. “

*I look up at him, strangled hope showing in my gaze.*

". . ."

Chapter Text

*I've never seen this side of his majesty before. He's usually so...professional. I've never seen the sentimental side of him, even though everyone in the village has.*

"**Thank you, your majesty....**”

Pure Vanilla Cookie's expression softened as he noticed the mix of surprise and hope in your gaze. He knew that his usual demeanor was more stern and authoritative, but in this moment, he allowed himself to show a different side of himself.

He smiled gently, his hand still resting on your shoulder.

"No need to thank me. I'm just doing what's best for both you and the kingdom. Besides, I care about the well-being of my people. And that includes you, now. “

There was a pause as he continued to look at you, a hint of something almost sentimental showing in his expression.

"You've served the kingdom well. You've worked hard, and you've shown nothing but dedication and loyalty. It's only fair that you have a break from the more strenuous parts of the job. "

He paused, then added,

"And besides, I could use the company. “

"I will think about this proposition, your majesty."

*I say, knowing there's so much less strain and downsides than my damehood...but at the same time, my damehood holds so much sentiment even through the dreadful days.*

Pure Vanilla Cookie nodded in understanding, his expression gentle.

"Of course, take all the time you need. I understand that this is a big decision. "

He paused, then added,

"But just remember, you deserve to be taken care of, too. Everyone has their limits, even someone as strong as you. “

*I nod, letting him leave the room. He's a king; he has his own duties after all.*

*That leaves me to think about his proposition.*

*Pure Vanilla Cookie exits the room, his footsteps soft and unhurried. He knew that he had given you a lot to think about, and he was willing to give you all the time you needed.*

*Meanwhile, back in the room you were currently staying in, you were left with only your thoughts to keep you company.*

*I sit and think, lying on my back,my feet and calves dangling off the foot of the bed.*

*This is one of the most difficult things I've considered.*

*On one hand: My damehood is my entire life. Keeping it means I get to do what I love and stay with my friends. But it also means constant injuries and pain.*

*On the other hand: taking this deal means I get to be a part of the vanilla kingdom for real. This also means no more pain and neglect,no exhaustion or sleepless nights due to nightmares. But, taking the deal means I leave my friends,memories, and my reputation as one of the strongest in the warrior rank.*

*As you lay on your back and contemplated your decision, the weight of the choice you had to make became more apparent. On one side was the life you were familiar with, the life that held your friends and memories dear. But it also came with pain and constant injury.*

*On the other hand, there was the prospect of joining the kingdom for real, free from the pain and neglect that came with your damehood. It promised comfort and rest, but it also meant leaving behind everything you had come to know and love.*

*The more you weighed your options, the more torn you felt. On the one hand, leaving your damehood behind would mean leaving your friends and your identity as a warrior behind.*

*But on the other hand, accepting the deal would mean you would be well taken care of, with less physical strain and pain. It would even mean you'd be closer to the king, something that held a certain unknown appeal to it.*

*I growl, burying my hands in my hair, the bun more messy, a few strands having fallen from it.*

*It's been hours, and I still can't decide.*

How pathetic of me.

Chapter Text

*Hours passed, and still, your mind kept running in circles. You could feel the weight of the decision you had to make taking its toll on you. Frustration built up every time you found yourself unable to conclude.*

*The once neat bun in your hair was now messy, strands of hair falling free and framing your face. You couldn't help but feel pathetic and helpless, stuck in this endless cycle of indecision.*

*The hours ticked by, and your frustration only seemed to grow. Despite your best efforts, you couldn't seem to make a decision. It was exhausting, and the more time passed, the more you felt like you were going in circles.*

*Each time you thought you were close to an answer, you found yourself right back where you started.*

*But then again, being this close to the king could have its benefits... if you chose the right decision.*

*Your thoughts kept going back and forth, torn between the security of your current life and the uncertainty of the new one. It seemed like every time you found a new reason to stay, a voice in your head would remind you of the pain and injury that came with being a dame.*

*The more you thought about it, the more you realised how close you would be with the king if you took the deal.*

*But was that a good thing? Or would it just make things more complicated?*

*My hands find their way wrapped around my hair, tugging on it out of pure rage.*
.
.
*I growy.*
.
.
***WHY CAN'T I JUST DECIDE ALREADY?!***
.
.
.
.
*I feel so pathetic.*

*As you tug on your hair in frustration, a wave of anger washes over you. The indecision is gnawing at you, leaving you feeling helpless and pathetic.*

*Why can't you make up your mind? Why is this decision so hard to make? It's tearing you up inside, and you can't help but feel like you're spiralling out of control.*

"Damn it all, I might as well bet it on a coin."

*I say sarcastically, lying in the middle of the bed, practically contemplating my own existence.*

*I've changed into something more comfortable, a pair of long, breathable vanilla yellow silk pants, and a baby blue corset-style shirt with long sleeves that reach my knees.*

*Oddly enough, the corset doesn't put any pressure on my bandages.*

*As you lie on the bed, contemplating your choices, an unexpected thought strikes you. Maybe you should just flip a coin, just to see where fate leads you.*

*You've changed into more comfortable clothes, wearing silk yellow pants and a baby blue shirt with long sleeves. Curiously, the corset-style top doesn't seem to put any pressure on your bandages. It's a small detail, but one that catches your attention.*

"Y'know what, I'll just do that."

*I say, grabbing a random coin off the ground, spinning it on the coffee table.*

*I watch as it spins, waiting for the exact moment to whack it down and determine my answer. Stay as a dame: tails, Take the deal: heads.*

*The coin spins, the metal glinting in the soft light. You watch it carefully, waiting for the perfect moment to catch it and determine your fate.*

*Tails or heads? Damehood or the deal? Each option has its cons and pros.*

*The coin continues to spin, the suspense building up.*

*out of nowhere, I smack the coin flat onto the table.*

*I wait to see the answer, considering it once more.*

*The coin comes to a halt on the table, the face of the coin pointing up.*

*Heads.*

*I gasp, blinking a few times just to make sure I see it right.*

***I guess the fates truly want me alongside the king.***

Chapter Text

*He nods, his expression turning to one of slight concern.*

"May I ask what your decision is, then?"

*There's a slight hint of anticipation in his tone, as if he is both nervous and eager to hear your answer.*

"I have decided..."

*I pause, a pain rising from the pit of my stomach. This is so uncomfortable. I feel guilty about leaving all my teammates, knowing I can't be there to patch them up or give them any advice or training.*

"**To take your offer**.”

*Pure Vanilla Cookie smiles, a mixture of relief and satisfaction showing in his expression. It's clear that he's happy with your decision, but at the same time, he can sense the inner turmoil that you're experiencing.*

"I see. I'm glad to hear that you've chosen to accept my offer."

*His smile softens, almost turning into a smile of sympathy.*

*I nod, keeping my forced smile up. Once he leaves, I can unscrew the cap on bottled-up emotions once and for all.*

*But that depends on whether he truly leaves.*

*He looks at you for a moment, studying the fake smile plastered to your face. He can sense that you're bottling up your emotions, and he knows that you're just waiting for him to leave so you can deal with your emotions when he's gone.*

*But he has no intention of leaving just yet.*

*He takes a few steps closer to you, his gaze softening as he approaches.*

"You don't have to keep up the facade, you know."

*He says, his voice still soft and gentle but now also with an underlying tone of concern and a hint of sympathy.*

"I...uh....**what??**"

*I stutter, tripping over my words in surprise. How could he tell? Not even the general could see the difference when I pretended!*

*He gives you an amused smile at your reaction, his eyes glinting. He has a knack for noticing the subtle details of people's expressions and body language, and your current facade was like an open book to him.*

"You're not fooling anyone, you know. I can tell that you're faking that smile. It's almost like I can see right through you.”

*I stay silent, a bit ashamed that he could tell I was lying. I await the eventual discipline.*

*What will he choose? Lashes? Breaking a glass bottle over my head? Holding bricks up for hours? Kneeling on sharp pebbles for hours? What will it be?*

*To your surprise, he does none of those things. Instead, he takes a few more steps closer, now standing directly in front of you. He reaches out and gently grabs your chin, tilting your head upwards.*

"I can tell you're expecting some form of discipline, aren't you? That I'll punish you for lying to me.”

"It's....it's the **sensible** thing to do."

*I say, repeating the exact thing the general used to say after giving me those awful punishments.*

"**So I'll learn**..”

Chapter Text

*He sighs, his expression turning to one of slight disapproval. He hates the fact that you think punishment is the "sensible" thing, and it bothers him to hear you repeat what the general used to say.*

"No, it's not. There's nothing *sensible* about beating someone into the ground until they can no longer stand... or making them hold up the heaviest object you can find for hours until their arms give out.... or kneeling on sharp objects until their knees are bruised and bloody.”

"H-how did you know that..?"

*I say, a genuinely flabbergasted look on my face, still evident of the pure dread I felt moments ago.*

"**How d-do you know we did that?**"

*My face pales as I realize.*

***He saw the scars.***

***He saw the fresh punishments as well, the unhealed ones.***

"I saw all of the scars."

*He says in a calm and firm tone, still holding your chin and tilting your head upwards.*

"Not just the old scars, the fresh ones too."

*He looks at you, his gaze turning almost pitying. He's seen the marks of all the "punishment" you've received.*

*My face pales even more, if that's even possible.*

*Dreadfully, unshed tears bead in my eyes.*

*Shame, embarrassment, confusion, and frustration all bubble up inside me, flooding over me like a raging typhoon.*

*He sees the tears forming in your eyes, his expression turning to one of pure softness and concern. He's never seen you so... vulnerable before. He can sense the mixture of emotions swelling up inside you, just waiting to be released.*

"You don't have to hold it in. It's okay to cry."

*He moves his free hand to gently cup your cheek, rubbing circles into your skin with his thumb.*

"A soldier doesn't cry."
.
.
*I mutter, trying my hardest to keep it together.*
.
.
*The door is still open.*
.
.
***I'm being so pathetic.***
.
.
.
.
***I probably deserved that punishment.***

Chapter Text

"That may be true. However, you're not just a soldier. You're a person with emotions and feelings... and right now, it's clear to me that those emotions are building up inside you to the point where you're bound to break at any moment. So, I repeat: Don't hold it in. Just cry."

*He gently wipes away a stray tear that had slid down your cheek, his touch soft and soothing as he tries to help you let your walls down.*

"There's no one here, except for us. So please, cry.”

*I keep my walls up, trying to hold them up even if they're sinking slowly into the quicksand. I'm so tired. I haven't even cried properly in months. I can't cry in front of my boss; he's the king of the vanilla kingdom, damnit. Don't be weak.*

*I look down at my feet, shoulders shaking silently as a gentle tear slides down my face. Unheard for years. Forced to be silent. But now, after all these years of dying to scream...*

***I can't even defend myself.***

*He notices how hard you're trying to hold back your emotions, how stubbornly you're clinging to that stubborn facade of yours. Even now, you're trying to uphold that image of the strong and stoic soldier.*

"You're fighting a losing battle, you know."

*He says softly, his eyes never leaving your face. Even a blind person would be able to tell that the dam is cracking, and the facade you built is crumbling.*

*His heart aches at the sight. He has never seen you look so... broken. You've been carrying this pain for years with no release, and now you can't even cry properly.*

"...let it all out."

*He whispers, gently pulling you against him in a tight embrace.*

"Just let everything out. You need to cry, you've been holding onto too much for too long."

*His voice is surprisingly gentle and firm, his arms gently wrapping around your waist as he guides your head to his shoulder. His body is warm and surprisingly sturdy.*

"Just let go of your walls for once, and just *cry."*

*I weep silently, hands gripping the back of his gown, occasionally sniffling softly.*

*The door is STILL open.*

*It seems I most definitely needed this. He can tell I've been holding this in my own concrete bottle painfully long..*

***The dam has finally fallen.***

*He holds you in his firm embrace, one arm wrapped around your waist and the other hand gently stroking your hair. He can feel your tears seeping into his shoulder, and he can hear the small sniffles and whimpers coming from you. He continues to hold you, not caring too much about anything else.*

"Just let it out. Let all of the pain you've buried inside you for so long out. You've been in pain for so long, you're bound to break eventually. So, just cronto my shoulder.”

*About 7 minutes later, I pull back, eyes red and puffy, cheeks tear-streaked.*

*I don't say a word, avoiding his gaze, embarrassed.*

"I.. Thank you, Your majesty.."