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Dan had been chilling on the couch for almost the entire day. It had been a bad night so that was followed by a lazy morning, which slipped away into a lazy afternoon, and hopefully it would be a lazy evening too. He thought they deserved it. Phil's headaches had been worse the past couple of weeks - nothing to be worried about, but it still wrecked his nervous system a little. Their past scary hospital visit didn't help either to calm himself down, even though headachy pale Phil was nothing compared to bleeding to- well. He shouldn't worry this much.
He scrolled to his next Instagram reel (because yes, as much as he rambled on and on about TikTok being the end of civilisation, he needed the brainrot and distraction as much as the next guy). He recognised the account, two guys playing violin, standing very, very close to each other. Every time he saw one of their videos, it reminded him of Phil and himself. He tapped two times on the screen to give them a like.
He had just swiped to the next reel (something gay, it seemed, which was a surprise to no one) when Phil stormed into the room. His body was still wrapped in a fuzzy green towel, but his hair and skin looked dry. "Dan, they're going insane again," he declared with an ominous face.
"Hmm?" he asked, because they could mean anything in this day and age. After that asshole tangerine had won a few weeks back, he had barely opened the news. Too much orange, too much tolerance for fucking fascism. He couldn't take it right now.
"Tumblr. They're going insane again." Phil reached him his glittery phone. Dan had one identical to it, a funny tongue-in-cheek decision that made comment sections go wild every time they mentioned it. They almost only decided to do it for the bit. Almost. At a certain point irony became a reflection, as he once talked about in a video he didn't watch anymore, and their collection of matching sets certainly pointed away from irony.
"When are they not?" he said, but he accepted the phone and looked at the screen. The familiar app layout shocked him a little, because he had spent so much time on that stupid site. Repressing the wave of nostalgia, he frowned at the tag Phil had opened. "What the fuck does bwagfeo stand for? Why does it sound like a slur?"
Phil chuckled and sat down next to him, leaning in so they could both stare at the small phone. "Basically we are gay for each other."
"Huh?"
"Yeah." Phil nodded sagely.
"Huh?" Dan scrolled through the tag, faster and faster, looking at the endless amount of posts (all so recent but with enormous amounts of notes!) that detailed excerpts from a video they never made. "What the fuck leaked? Why are these posts so detailed? What is going on?"
"I think they need a video." Phil shrugged and took his phone back, before Dan would end up in an endless doomscroll that would ruin his plans of laziness and comfort. The little rat knew him too well. "And also, Tumblr's been on fire for weeks now because of that poll, remember? We're up against Judas and-"
"Jesus," he sighed. Was this healing him, or doing irreparable damage? Both at the same time?
"Yeah, that one. So they decided that we hard launched."
"Sure."
Phil nodded enthusiastically. "They wrote the entire script, basically. There's phanart already. Apparently the video includes a Sister Daniel segment as well." He giggled.
This was the point Dan lost it, and shaking with laughter he leaned closer into Phil, putting his head on his shoulder. With his eyes closed but filled with tears (mostly from laughter) he sighed: "I hate them."
"I know, me too." Phil tapped his head gently, audibly holding in another burst of laughter. "They are our lovely weird children."
"That headcanon their parents as hard launching by renaming themselves to Mr and Mr Games. Normal behaviour."
"It's catchy, I think. Maybe we should."
They sat in silence for a bit, as Phil took his phone and looked at some more memes, showing the funny ones to Dan, keeping away the ones that would set his brain into motion again. He started to feel his eyes get heavier, his body eagerly accepting the comfort. After all these years he fit perfectly against Phil, even if he was only wearing a horrifically green towel.
"When we do it," he mumbled at long last, blinking to keep his eyes open, "you have to promise me it won't be sponsored by Dragon City. I cannot be the guy that hard launched his relationship wearing a fucking dragon onesie."
"Damn it, I was looking forward to that part!" Phil poked his cheek playfully, but turned serious immediately afterward. "So you want to do it?"
"Not now," he hurried, hearing the slight hesitation in Phil's voice. "Just… not too long from now, y'know."
"I think you're right."
"Obviously." He reached out his hand and took Phil's, intertwining their fingers. "At least we have a source of inspiration now. If we just do what they posted, no one's going to call us out for plagiarism, it'll just be camp."
"Treading dangerous territories there, Howell," Phil teased. "You haven't seen the posts I've seen."
"And thank fuck for that. Also, I'm vetoing sitting on your lap for three hours. I cannot do that to my ass, I need it."
Phil laughed. "Fine, but then I'll have to tackle you to recreate an iconic moment."
He opened his eyes again and looked at the man that was holding him, that had been keeping him safe for fifteen years now. If they'd share that with the world, would it change?
They had been together long enough for him to know the answer. He wasn't angsty, emo Dan anymore. He wasn't even scared 2015 "peace signs" Dan anymore. Nothing that would change, would matter.
"Sure, just make sure you don't actually kill me this time."
"I've kept you alive for fifteen years, Howell, I think I can manage a tackle."
"That's what someone who can't manage a tackle would say."
"Twat," Phil said smiling. He started to get up, but Dan gripped his towel and he had to stay put if he didn't want it to fall down.
"Stay," he murmured. "I'm very comfy right now. Didn't sleep well."
Phil stroked his shoulder and nestled back into the couch. "Alright. Who needs clothes?"
"So true, bestie."
"Which is something that Sister Daniel would say. Shall I add her to our script?"
"There's a script already?"
"Well, I have to do something when I'm being used as pillow." He stick out his tongue.
"It's fitting, isn't it? Don't they call you pillow princess on tumblr or something?" Dan asked innocently.
"Passenger princess!" Phil smacked his shoulder, grinning wide. "And shut up! I am not a pillow princess."
"A pillow prince, then?" he offered.
"Watch out, before I put this in the script and you're stuck with it. I'll make you talk about grippy again if you don't behave."
"God, anything but that." He rolled his eyes, but focused again when he saw what app Phil was opening. "Phil, that's your mail. Why are you looking at mails on Sunday?"
"Not looking." Phil smiled like a sweet little angel, the light of the setting sun setting his blond hair aflame. "Writing one."
"Who are you-"
"NordVPN." His smile grew wider. "I bet they want to sponsor our newest project. Bwaun: basically, we are using Nord!"
Dan groaned.