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Ever since Alvin, its been nearly impossible to sleep. Hiccup can hardly close his eyes without dreaming of being in the dungeons there – mostly, of seeing Toothless strung up on the wall and knowing he was being starved indefinitely and there was nothing he could do to help him.
He can’t stop thinking about the darkness, the dampness, the smell of dirt, and never knowing when he would see anything else again. Of the thirst and hunter and exhaustion and knowing full well they weren’t gonna feel him or Toothless, anyway.
And maybe they got away, but he knows things could have gone much worse. And it’s not like being away means they’re safe. Alvin is coming. War is coming. Anything could happen to Toothless. They could come after him and Hiccup again, and…
He can never stop fearing.
So having a night flying club is actually a good excuse for him to not have to worry about sleeping every night or at least, for the times when he does to be from passing out from sheer exhaustion.
They spent a long time the night before out flying and when they come to the Academy the next morning, Hiccup makes sure to put up the option of a group nap out to everybody. Mostly, because all of them are looking half asleep, even the twins and it’s going to look suspicious if they start looking like this every day. And they can’t exactly make anyone suspicious by obviously sleeping during the day and nor is it going to do them any good to be falling asleep if they have to fight in an inevitable battle.
Either way, he doesn’t know how they all ended up agreeing to this but everyone ends in a group nap in the arena, Hiccup curling up against Toothless’ side. At least here, pressed against him, he can rest with the silent knowledge that Toothless is safe.
Right now.
The nightmares come anyway. Of him and Toothless trapped back on Outcast Island with no way of getting off, of –
Something grabs his shoulder and Hiccup jerks, hand lashing out instinctively. For a moment, all he’s seeing are Savage and Alvin but when he blinks himself to full wakefulness, it’s to see Ruffnut hanging over him.
“Whoa – Hiccup?” she’s asking.
It takes a moment for his heart to stop pounding. He’s here, on Berk. Where Toothless and all his friends are and it actually helps to see how they’re all right here.
And then it clicks what he just did –
“Ruffnut?” Hiccup asks, blinking a few times, “I’m sorry, I – ”
He just hit her. He can’t believe he hit her.
“Oh, it’s fine,” she shrugs but she’s still studying him with an odd look on her face.
“Yeah, that was awesome,” Tuffnut crows.
Awesome really isn’t the word he would use. He just – He feels awful, even more so that she’s acting like it doesn’t even matter. Maybe for the twins, they don’t really care with how much they hit each other. But he doesn’t…
“I didn’t mean to…” he trails off, fumbling. He can’t believe he did that. And someone else waking him up from a nightmare leaves him feeling no less awkward. No one’s ever done that before. There’s never been anyone to do that before.
“Yeah, whatever,” Ruffnut waves it off with a shrug, sitting back on her heels, “So, are you okay?”
What –
“Uhh, yeah, I’m fine.” He scrubs a hand over his face. Why are they even awake? The others are still asleep, Snotlout lying facedown next to Hookfang’s head, Astrid leaning against Stormfly’s side and Meatlug half on top of Fishlegs.
“Really?” Tuffnut asks, “Cuz you were sort of doing a lot of flailing. You know – ” He waves his arms dramatically and there is no way Hiccup was being that dramatic.
Toothless noses him a little from behind and Hiccup reaches up to pet him lightly, trying to formulate words. He doesn’t really know how to talk about this. It’s stupid he’s so shaken from dreams and memories and fear. And very un-Viking like. But it’s constantly crawling in his chest and never fades.
“Just a dream,” he mutters finally, “I’ll live.”
“Yeah, we knew that,” Tuffnut replies.
“Those Outcasts?” Ruffnut guesses, shifting to sit down next to him. Tuffnut sits down on his other side.
It’s a little, uhh… Well, unexpected.
“Yeah,” Hiccup offers quietly, shrugging a little, even if he can’t make himself feel half as flippant about it as he’s trying to give off.
“Oh, don’t worry,” Ruffnut chirps, “Whenever they show up, we’re gonna blow everything up.”
“Yeahhh,” Tuffnut agrees, gleefully, “They’re not gonna be taking you anywhere ever again. Or Toothless.”
He doesn’t think they’d come after him again personally but it doesn’t change that Toothless or someone else could end up hurt again. Doesn’t change that Hiccup’s decision to go out looking for the Night Fury map is why all of Berk is in this mess in the first place – so much for being smart.
Mildew was right about that.
“I don’t think Alvin will be after me again,” Hiccup says, offering them a tight smile, “I mean, I think he already got what he wanted.” Or at least it’s a safe enough guess.
“Yeah…” Tuffnut makes a face. “But still.”
“Just don’t take off on any more dragon exploring without us again,” Ruffnut demands. She looks… worried. Genuinely worried.
He doesn’t really know what to say to that. He has friends now and he’s finally starting to get used to what that means but he’s still not really used to having people worrying over him. “Don’t worry,” Hiccup offers, a little awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck, “I won’t make that mistake a second time.”
“Well, you’d better not,” Tuffnut says with a huff, “You know, I still wanna blow up something on Outcast Island for that.”
“Yeah,” Ruffnut agrees, a little fiercely, “I can’t believe they took you like that.”
“And you’ve been kinda weird ever since,” Tuffnut comments, leaning a little closer, “You sure you’re fine? Because we’re not stupid and you don’t act like it.”
Hiccup swallows hard. He really doesn’t know what to say to that. But that the twins of all people are actually bringing this up is… It means a lot.
“Well, I did kind of start this war myself,” Hiccup points out finally, mostly to divert from the other problems. Those aren’t really something he knows how to talk about.
“Yeah, and it’s gonna be awesome!” Tuffnut says, brightly.
“Plenty of explosions, lot of things to blow up, and we won’t even get in trouble for it,” Ruffnut agrees.
Okay, not exactly the kind of response he was going for. But at least they’re looking at that side of it instead of the stress side? And the how badly this could go wrong side?
“You know how many people could get hurt from this, right?” Hiccup can’t help asking, tiredly.
“Well…” Tuffnut trails off, “We’ve got Barf and Belch and you’ve got Toothless, so…” He shrugs.
Maybe that is all they need. Maybe.
Doesn’t stop the memory of watching the Outcasts tie Toothless down and drag him away, while Hiccup struggled to free himself and get to him but was as helpless as he always manages to be.
“And we’ve got you,” Ruffnut adds. She shifts a little closer to him. He doesn’t know if it was subconscious or not. Doesn’t really know what to think about it, period, but he’s silently grateful to have them this close. It’s day time right now and that makes him way less jittery than at night, than the darkness, but still. Nice to have them this close. “So Alvin’s gonna have to try really hard.”
“Well, let’s hope so,” Hiccup concedes finally, leaning back against Toothless, “And hopefully the Dragon Night Flying Club is gonna be enough to catch any attack before it goes too far.”
“Well, it’s fun,” Ruffnut offers.
“Yeah,” Hiccup agrees, “So let’s hope no one catches us. Just remember the first rule.”
“Oh no, don’t start that again,” she protests.
“Yeah, not that again,” Tuffnut whines, “And don’t start saying is again.”
Hiccup stifles a laugh. “Okay. Let’s just uhh… finish up nap time and get ready for tonight.”
He’s expecting the twins to go back over to Barf and Belch, but they don’t. They just… stay here, next to him. Their dragon comes over to them instead, flopping on the ground with each respective head right in front of the twins. It’s kind of adorable to watch.
Hiccup finally closes his eyes again, willing himself to slip off to sleep. It still doesn’t come easily but with all his friends here, with Toothless here, with the growing knowledge that they would probably stop at nothing to get him back, is… enough right now.