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Chris perches himself on the hood of his old beaten-up chevy while he waits for his boyfriend. He glances at his watch before leaning back with one hand pressing behind him to hold his weight; the other hand running through his unruly curls as he looks up. It is early evening, the sun only just setting. The sky had taken on a reddish colour, turning the clouds into swirls of pink and orange; a tell-tale sign that tomorrow would be an equally beautiful day.
Several minutes pass and Chris starts to fiddle with one of the various loose threads of his acid-wash jeans when he hears the slam of a front door over the soft rumble of the engine.
That is when he looks up and his frown of concentration instantly turns into a beaming smile as soon as he sees the boy that is jogging towards him. Felix’s hair bounces with every stride, the freshly bleached blond strands seemingly glowing in the late afternoon sun.
The jog turns into a skip as he gets closer and he throws his battered rucksack into the bed of the truck, the both of them not caring about the thud against Chris’ own bag. Chris watches Felix as he gets into the car and follows suit, sliding down into the driver’s seat, before Felix leans across and places a firm but loving kiss upon Chris’ lips.
Felix looks at the clock on the dashboard and grimaces, “sorry for keeping you waiting so long, Liv roped me into helping her with some homework and wouldn’t let me leave until it was done.”
Chris just smiles, dimples making a small dent in his cheeks, and squeezes Felix’s knee before taking his hand in his own, “you’re here now, that’s all that matters.”
Felix grins before taking his hand back and pulling down the overhead mirror. He runs his fingers back through his hair, fiddling at the roots; a soft pout on his lips as it clearly isn’t looking the way he wants it to.
All Chris can do is look at his boyfriend in wonderment. How has he gotten so lucky?
“You’re staring,” Felix tuts, not taking his eyes away from the mirror above him, but a small smirk tugs at the corner of his mouth.
“How can I not? Look at you!”
Felix sticks his tongue in his cheek, “I am, actually.” He continues to mess about with his hair before sighing in defeat and finally turning his attention to his boyfriend, “you still haven’t told me where you’re taking me, you know?”
Chris reaches across to smooth down a particularly ruffled part of the blond locks then stroking his thumb delicately over his freckles, “I’m aware. It’s a surprise baby, I’ve told you this.”
He reaches behind him for his seatbelt and clasps it across his body, placing his hand on the handbrake and looking back at Felix, “ready to go?”
The drive isn’t long, but Chris drives casually, wanting them to take their time. The journey is filled with idle chit-chat about each other’s day although there isn’t really that much to talk about considering they have spent most of the day with each other already, having only parted for a few hours to go home and freshen up.
They talk about anything and everything so as to avoid the elephant in the room that they are both very much aware of.
Chris is leaving for Korea tomorrow morning and they might not see each other for close to a year.
They’ve spoken about it at length obviously. Chris had been given an opportunity for work, along with a chance to be closer to older family members, and despite how much he had tried to come up with excuses not to go, find some way to stay here with Felix, his boyfriend had basically called him an idiot and that he would be a fool to not take up this offer.
“Besides, your Korean has always been so much better than mine. Just means you can teach me properly now.” Felix had said cheekily, leaning in and booping Chris on the nose, “and… you can introduce me to all your new idol friends too.”
Chris had blushed, red rising up through his cheeks and laughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck, “I’m just an intern at not that big of a company, baby.”
“And you’re also a social butterfly who swoons everyone that crosses his path and makes them weak in the knees.”
“You flatter me too much.”
“It’s not flattery if it’s true, babe.”
Chris can’t help but take fleeting looks at Felix throughout the journey. His hand is resting on Felix’s thigh, not firm, just present, and Felix laces their fingers together—hums along to the song that's playing on the radio, mouths along to the lyrics that he knows.
His hair flows in the wind from where the windows are cranked open—cons of an old truck means that there is no air-con—the breeze tousles it freely, blowing the soft waves around his face.
Felix had decided to dye his hair on a whim. Bored of his natural dull brown as Felix would put it (Chris adamantly disagrees), he’d opted to follow suit with his boyfriend and asked him one morning to bleach his hair. Chris had joked that he just wanted to copy him—Chris had since stopped bleaching his hair, dyed it back dark instead—but after the arduous process in Felix’s parents’ bathroom, he found himself once again in awe of his boyfriend because he couldn’t get over just how much it suited him. Blond looked natural on him, he pulled it off like he was born with it. Felix also loved it, grinning with glee every time he caught himself in the mirror.
It also somehow brings out his freckles more.
If you are to ask Chris what he loves about Felix, he will reel off a huge list as if he is reading from a script, but his boyfriend’s freckles will always sit right at the top in 1st place.
They are like stars dancing across his face. One night the previous summer, Chris had even convinced his boyfriend to let him join them all together with ink. Felix was quick to complain that the pen tickled but they were soon giggling afterwards as Chris named each ‘constellation’, cementing each name by peppering exaggerated mwah’s to his skin.
And right now, as the sun has very almost said goodbye to the world for the day, his freckles still light up his face, glowing with warmth, setting fire to his face.
Chris parks the truck in a well loved spot which is part of a nature reserve high up on a cliff top. By day, it is busy, bustling, full of families and other couples going around and enjoying the wildlife and the views. But at night, it is quiet, peaceful.
He’d discovered it a few months ago when he’d taken a drive during one of his particularly insomnia-driven nights. There is a secluded part of the cliff top that he just knows Felix will love.
His assumptions are correct because as soon as he shuts the engine off, Felix is unbuckling his seatbelt and bounding out of the truck. Chris is not far behind him, chuckling as he watches Felix run over to the hand rail at the edge of the cliff. He leans over it slightly and breathes in a lungful of the evening air, and then sighs happily as Chris comes up behind him to wrap his arms around his waist, pulling him in tight.
“It’s beautiful, babe.”
Chris hums in response, nuzzling into the junction between Felix’s neck and shoulder and places a gentle kiss there. The couple stays like that for a while, Felix’s back resting against Chris’ chest; Chris’ chin resting on Felix’s shoulder, both taking in the view before them.
Felix turns in his boyfriend’s arms and looks deep into his eyes. He brings up a hand and caresses Chris’ cheek, thumb sweeping over his dimple; Chris can’t help but lean into it. Felix closes the distance and their lips melt against each other. Chris smiles into it—it always feels like coming home.
“I love you,” the three words hold so much surety, so much confidence when Felix speaks them; his hand still gently holding Chris’ cheek.
“And I love you,” Chris places his lips against Felix’s forehead and holds them there for a couple of seconds before pulling back, and spinning Felix back around so they can continue to look at the view. He makes sure he takes everything in—fully absorbs it—the scenery, the air, the beautiful boy in his arms.
⛧°. ⋆༺☾𖤓༻⋆. °⛧
Felix’s head is in Chris’ lap as they laze in the bed of the truck. Chris had pulled various cushions and throws through from the back seats that they are now laid on, making for quite a comfy set up. There is some movie playing quietly on the laptop in front of them but neither of them are really paying attention. His fingers run through Felix’s soft hair, the occasional head scritch here and there which has the boy in his lap practically purring, eyes closed with a warm smile on his face.
The sun had fully set a little while ago, leaving the pair basking in the moonlight.
Chris lets out a deep sigh, gazes upon Felix below him who is resting on his thigh, and gently moves his boyfriend’s bangs out of his eyes.
“What are you thinking about in that handsome head of yours?” Felix looks up at him with so much adoration that if Chris were to drop dead right now, he would die happy knowing that the boy below him was his.
“You.” Chris knows he has a dopey smile on his face but he is just so enamoured.
Felix’s answering smile beams across this face, “sappy cunt.”
It catches Chris off guard and he breaks out into laughter. “You little…”
He tackles Felix onto his back, causing Felix to let out a surprised yelp that turns into a fit of giggles as Chris tickles him, fingers digging into his sides eagerly. Their limbs tangle together as Felix tries to fight his boyfriend off, happy cries of stop sandwiched between breathless laughter.
Chris hovers over Felix, hands either side of his body; relishes in the flush of Felix’s cheeks, how it highlights his freckles. Felix’s eyes sparkle and he tilts his chin up slightly; wanting.
Chris captures his boyfriend’s lips—soft, tasting of watermelon—and Felix sighs softly into Chris’ mouth, entire body deflating as he wraps his arms around Chris’ neck and pulls him in closer. Their lips slot together like well loved puzzle pieces, melting against each other. Felix swipes his tongue across Chris’ lower lip and he grants him access, lets Felix lick into his mouth and melds his tongue around the others’.
There’s no ulterior motives, barely any lust—just pure, unadulterated love. Felix plays with the hair at Chris’ nape, strokes through it with his fingers. They soak in each other’s affection, bask in it, let their love for each other flow out of them.
The mood is swiftly broken when a loud gurgle comes from Felix’s tummy.
“Hungry?” Chris laughs, pecks Felix’s nose before easing off of him, tapping Felix’s thigh to get him to sit upright so that he can pull out a picnic basket from beneath a tarp.
Opening the wicker basket, he pulls out fruits and other snacks, immediately taking a strawberry and feeds it to his boyfriend.
“Mum made cookies,” Chris says, the last thing to pull out being the aforementioned sweet treats, “although I highly doubt they’re as good as yours, Lix.”
Felix shakes his head lightly but is smiling, “and you say I flatter you too much?.”
“Hey! I’m just being honest.”
“And that’ll be your downfall one day,” Felix presses a kiss to Chris’ cheek, before grabbing one of the cookies and taking a bite.
They indulge themselves in the feast that Chris has prepared, taking turns to feed each other; a grape here, a marshmallow there; and just enjoying each other’s company. Felix is quick to exclaim that the cookies were very good and that Chris should really stop putting down his mother’s baking skills; comments that he will definitely still be visiting Chris’ parents even if it's just for baked goods.
They at some point decide to actually watch a movie and Felix insists on some cheesy disney channel original movie because what else are we meant to watch, Chris?!
The movie feels like it ends as soon as it starts but the two boys don’t mind. After finishing their picnic and switching watching something for playing chilled music instead, Felix lays back against the plush cushions and pulls Chris down with him. Chris’ head is resting against the other’s chest, listening to the rhythmic thuds of his heartbeat and fingers creating small patterns on his stomach. Felix cradles the back of Chris’ head, running his fingers through his curls.
“Your hair is getting so long, babe.” He splits a small section into three and starts to braid it.
Chris groans, “I know… I was meant to get a haircut before I left but time got away from me. It’s one of the first things on my list when I get to Korea.”
Felix huffs, tugs a little on Chris’ hair before resuming the braid, “don’t you dare. It suits you.”
Chris cranes his neck, meets Felix’s eyes, “you really think so?”
Felix smiles, and rubs his thumb gently over Chris’ lips where a soft pout forms, “Chris, baby, you could shave your head and I still think it would suit you—don’t do that by the way.”
Chris settles back in Felix’s arms as this boyfriend leaves the braid alone and goes back to stroking his hair. His other arm is loosely wrapped around Chris’ middle, holding him gently but securely. Chris fiddles with the dainty bracelet adoring his boyfriend’s wrist, his own matching one glistening in the moonlight. He had bought them for their one year anniversary after saving for months with the poor wages of his part time job, and the couple hadn’t taken them off since.
Felix stops petting the back of his head and Chris whines.
“Look!” It’s awkward for Chris to look up and follow his boyfriend’s pointing finger from this angle, but he is intrigued by his boyfriend’s elation, “a shooting star!”
In all honesty, Chris had missed it, but he doesn’t dare tell Felix that and risk him experiencing any semblance of sadness, so he strains to look anyway. The sky is clear and all the stars are visible, the dark abyss of the night lighting up so brightly. A rare sight when you live in a city with regular light pollution. He lets a small smile tug at his lips.
It’s just like Felix’s cheeks.
⛧°. ⋆༺☾𖤓༻⋆. °⛧
Felix shivers. The night is ticking on and a chilly breeze has started to pick up. Chris sits upright and pulls his hoodie off. Felix protests, he doesn’t want the other to be cold as well, but Chris just fights back, come on, you know I run hot, this is what I’m here for. Felix makes a comment about Chris being very hot indeed which makes the latter scoff, but takes the hoodie anyway and tugs it on. He grimaces at the weird feeling of his cardigan underneath it, but still pulls the collar up to his nose and breathes deeply.
“Weirdo.”
“You know I love the smell of your clothes, shut up.” Felix pulls the hood up and shakes the sleeves so they fall over his hands, making him look even more petite than he already is. Chris’ heart blooms and he can’t resist pulling Felix into his lap, catching his lips once again.
They break apart when the jarring sound of Chris’ laptop tells them it has low battery, jolting them out of their peaceful bubble.
Chris leans over to close the laptop down, groaning as his joints crack painfully, when he spots the time. 3am. It’s probably time for them to head back.
The night had been so wondrous it almost made them forget the imminent reality.
“Come on, sweetheart. Time to go home.”
The drive back to Chris’ house is quiet. Felix drifts off, his body twists with his legs curled under him so his head can rest against the passenger window. His hands are cushioning his cheek, sleeves of Chris’ hoodie still pulled over his fists in cute little sweater paws. Chris would’ve reclined the seat for him to let him relax fully but unfortunately, just like the lack of aircon, that feature of the old chevy had stopped working a long time ago.
The radio is very low, one of the only channels on air right now being one playing some kind of smooth jazz. It is clearly meant to be calming, but Chris is fighting to stay calm right now.
He thanks his lucky stars that he is a very careful driver, something that Felix normally teases him about, otherwise his leg would be bouncing up and down with the onset of nerves. He has an iron clad grip on the steering wheel, lower lip tight between his teeth. It is really starting to set in that this is his last night with Felix.
Chris pulls onto his parents’ driveway and the truck rolls to a halt. Chris shuts the engine off and turns in his seat. He delicately jostles Felix’s shoulder to wake him, debates just unbuckling him and carrying his sleeping body inside.
“Lix?”
Felix uncurls himself and turns towards Chris. He resembles a cat waking up from a nap, eyes squinted and hair all ruffled. He is mumbling sleepily with not much coherence as he pulls himself closer and leans into the crook of Chris’ neck.
“We're here, baby.”
Felix presses soft kisses to Chris’ neck, trailing them up his jaw and stopping when he reaches his lips, “can’t we just stay here… please…”
Chris’ eyes flutter shut and his head falls back against the headrest. He almost gives in, not ready for their little universe to shatter.
“You’ll be much comfier inside, baby.”
Felix hums, nuzzles in closer and inhales behind Chris’ ear.
Chris laughs, “did you just sniff me?”
Felix does it again, more dramatically this time, clearly waking up more. He speaks against Chris’ neck, “I told you… you smell good.”
Felix fumbles to unbuckle his seatbelt and moves in closer, goes to climb into his boyfriend’s lap. Chris stops him with a hand on his waist, gently pushes him back into his seat, “okay, you little spider monkey. Let’s get you inside.”
Chris unbuckles his own seatbelt and steps out the truck, reaches in the back to grab their bags. He walks around to Felix’s side and opens the passenger door. Felix looks at him sleepily, all doe-eyed, little grabby hands, butter wouldn’t melt, “carry me?”
“Wouldn’t imagine doing anything less, baby.” Chris adjusts the backpacks so they sit more comfortably on his shoulders and reaches into the car to pull Felix out and up into his arms. Felix wraps around him tight—arms around neck and legs around waist—as Chris cradles his boyfriend, picking him up with ease.
They make their way up the front path, Felix resuming his previous endeavours by scattering little wet kisses over Chris’ neck, until he gets to his earlobe and nibbles on it. He lowers his voice to a whisper, “are you sure you don’t want one last time in the backseat?”
Chris falters, stops still where he’s walking, feels the heat rise up his neck. Felix giggles in his ear, tugs on his earring with his teeth.
Chris rights himself, bounces Felix in his arms to get a better hold, “you’re such a menace.”
“You love me,” Felix sing-songs.
Chris gets to the front door and places Felix on his feet so he can get to his keys from his back pocket. He takes Felix’s face in his hand and looks deep into his eyes, “I do, I love you so much.” His voice cracks mid sentence as the words get caught in his throat, and his eyes brim with tears. He doesn’t want to leave his baby.
“Baby…” Felix holds Chris’ wrists, rubs soothing circles in his pulse, “oh, my love.”
Chris sniffs, blinks away the tears. Felix takes the keys out of Chris’ hand and unlocks the door, letting his boyfriend hang off of his back as they step over the threshold.
“Now who’s the spider monkey?” Felix jokes lightly, closing the door behind them and placing the keys in the dish on the entryway table. Chris laughs wetly, and wraps around Felix tighter.
At their arrival, Berry comes running, little pants and the sound of paw pads on carpet approaching them. “Hey, Berry girl,” Felix coos, struggling to bend down to pet her with the weight of a fully grown man on his back, “it’s way past your bedtime, missy.”
Berry yips happily and spins in a circle, looking up at the both of them with happy eyes.
Chris sniffles into Felix’s shoulder. Felix reaches back and rubs over Chris’ side, “lets go to bed, my love.”
⛧°. ⋆༺☾𖤓༻⋆. °⛧
Chris holds Felix tight to his front as they lay in bed. His nose is pressed into Felix’s nape as they share the same pillow, legs tangled together—it’s a tight fit for two grown bodies on one childhood single bed. Berry lays in her own bed at the foot of the bed, little snores escaping her.
They listen to each other’s breaths, just enjoying their last few hours together before they have to get up and get ready to go to the airport. It’s unlikely either of them will sleep deeply, not wanting to miss any singular moment with each other.
Felix breaks the silence, his whisper loud in the quiet room, “I’m gonna miss you so much, Chris.”
Chris makes a hurt noise in the back of his throat, pulls his boyfriend impossibly closer.
“But… I just keep reminding myself that it’s only a year. Just one year, and I’ll be right there with you.”
Chris nods into Felix’s neck and his fingers dig into Felix’s tummy; words are too hard for him right now.
“And hey,” Felix’s voice perks up a little bit, his hands come to rest over Chris’, “you’ll be home for Christmas, right? So we’ll see each other then?” He entwines their fingers, squeezes Chris’ hands.
Chris hums in acknowledgement, presses a kiss to Felix’s hair and inhales the comforting scent of his shampoo. He’ll miss that too.
As they both fight the clutches of the sandman—the alarm clock on the bedside table flashes 5am, the sun coming back over the horizon, signalling they really only have about two hours before they both have to face reality—they just let themselves savour the last moments they have solely to themselves, letting their devotion simmer around them.
A safe, little cocoon of love, just for them, that one day—in the near future hopefully—will become permanent.