Chapter Text
I woke up, head fuzzy as usual since the last checkup. I think they cleaned my place. The floor isn't dirty anymore, I remember (throwing up) on it two days ago. I sat on my bed, waiting for the day to end so they could make me go to sleep.
My (tail) Is getting longer. It feels weird, I can’t really move but I don’t need to most of the time anyway, the doctors make me sometimes, but it hurts, and I don’t like doing it. I have no choice, if I don’t, they will hurt me, they will hurt me bad…
Some…scales? Are growing on my arms and face, that’s what they call them, they’ve been teaching me more words so I can answer their questions right. They itch a lot but when I pick on them, more will grow. I hate it, my skin starts dripping (blood) when they do and I can’t stop it, it always makes a mess, and it makes the doctors upset. I asked them for help, but they don’t care about how I feel, at least when they don’t ask. They never listen to me, it feels like talking to my room’s wall, only echo answers my voice.
My room is getting smaller from how fast I’m growing. I look around, nothing new. I only see white. White walls. White coats. White bed. White plates. White lights. White pills. White bandages. It makes me feel sick. I hate this color and now it’s growing on my skin. My bed is not comfortable anymore, the other half of me is hanging off the edge and it’s annoying. I can see through one of the walls, the doctors watch me through it, and I can see my friend from the room in front of mine. They’re nice, I like staring at them, and they stare back, we sometimes nock on our see-through walls for fun. They grew big white ears a few nights ago, and white hair covered them. They stopped staring at me since they changed, they only lay down on their bed and wait for the doctors to give them food. They changed, I miss their staring, their nocking, it’s the only thing that made me forget about where I am and what might happen to me. The hallway separating me and my friend is mostly empty, except for when they come to look at me and write on a paper. They promised to teach me how to write. It hasn’t happened yet…
It's getting harder to see, it makes me a little sad because I can’t see my friend well anymore from across the hallway. But I can see him glowing bright when it’s bedtime and the lights go out; it’s been getting fainter every night, less red, more purple.
Ugh...my head is killing me... My chest feels tight; it's been feeling that way for a while I think... my memory is so (foggy). I've been feeling cold, the bed is cold as well, I don't feel well. The constant (ringing) in my ears doesn’t help my (headache). Since my ears changed, I started hearing more. The (whimpers) and the scratching of my friend’s nails against the wall… It always kept me up at night, until the doctors started making me sleepy when the lights turned off. I also hear footsteps, a lot of footsteps all the time. I think there are hallways other than mine, sometimes the footsteps are faint, and I don’t see doctors coming or going in front of my room…
The smell of my room stings my nose, especially after they clean up. The smell of my (vomit) is not pleasant, but I prefer it to the smell that lingers in my room and my bandages.
I sit and wait as usual. I hear footsteps, I don't want to see any of the doctors today, I miss my friend… I need to feel something, the same way my friend made me feel when they smiled at me. I feel empty. Hungry.
Only one of them comes in. They always have a weird paper that they press against the door (knob), and it opens. I don’t know what he’s going to do to me; there is no where for me to hide in the small room. My back is against the furthest corner of the room from the door. He is surprisingly nice… He talks to me slowly and quietly, but I notice the needle in his hand. I don’t like it. I try to knock the needle off his hand, but I’m too weak… Too hungry… After using it, my eyes quickly get heavy, and I give up.
I wake up the next day? The lights are on. I look around, my plate is full of food. I hear squeaking and four little (limbs) running around. I start eating… It tastes the same. Some of my teeth fell out and new long ones are growing. The inside of my mouth itches and hurts, so the doctors started giving me food easier to eat. I see something quickly moving under my bed. It’s small. It’s a mouse… I can’t seem to get my eyes from it even if I tried to…It looks interesting… Fun to look at…Tempting to eat…
I give into my strong urge to eat the animal and (swallow) it whole…
I throw up.
My mouth burns. They put something in the mouse, not the food. How did they know I would eat it? Do they know everything that goes on in my head?...
I sit on my bed and stare at the room across the hallway. My friend is still scratching on the same spot on the wall. Their ears aren’t there anymore; it doesn’t seem like the doctors did that… I press against the (glass) wall to try to see better. They look back at me. Their eyes have changes, the way they look at me scares me. They try to attack me but they’re also (bound) by a wall. I go back to my bed and try to not think about it. I try to think of them when they were my friend.
During my (daydreaming), I hear footsteps. That’s no good. I hear…two of them. I try to hide under my bed. They get in. A needle in one’s hand, the other came to clean up my (vomit). I don’t want another needle, it hurts, it stings, I hate it. I’m scared.
I don’t know what happened. All I see is red. On the floor. On the bed. On the walls. On the doctors. The one that had a needle is on the ground, dripping the same (liquid) that drips when I pick on my scales. His head doesn’t stick to the rest of him anymore. The other doctor was already gone. A loud (siren) starts and the white lights turn red. I sit next to the doctor, he looks peaceful. Not scary anymore. The needle is still in his hand. I break it in case he gets up. A voice in my head whispers to me to eat.
I’m hungry…