Better Think Twice Before Hiring a Black Cat as an Intern

*[Started off as a batshit crazy one-pager, somehow ended up a 1200-word story]*

It was dawn when Nick and Judy burst into the precinct.

"Listen, Benjamin, something really weird happened—"

"—But we can talk about that later—"

"—Because you said you—"

They skidded to an awkward halt at what they saw at the front desk.

Officer Clawhauser was not there.

Gazelle stood by the counter, her beautiful face stormier than anyone had ever seen.

"Excuse me, is anything wrong? We're here to help you, Miss Gazelle!" Nick leapt forward and saluted.

"Oh cripes…" Gazelle shook her head, looking tragically indignant, and stalked away.

"Is she going to see the Chief?" Nick's eyes widened as he watched her leave. "Wait— are they dating?"

"Sweetheart, I don't think that's our business," Judy sighed. "I wanna know where Ben is? Didn't he text—" She pulled out her phone. "'Got TYOUBLE! Come quick!'?"

"Trouble! Not TYOUBLE! Trouble!" Clawhauser's voice sounded exceptionally frantic.

Wait, where was he?

Nick peered over the counter. "Clawhauser?"

"I'm here! Here!"

"…Ben?" Judy hopped onto the counter. Nothing was there except a donut and a chocolate-smeared phone.

"Oh, buddy, not funny," Judy picked up the donut, glancing at Nick, who looked like he thought she'd lost it.

"Yes… I'm a donut!"

"Now I'm losing it," Judy plopped down on the counter.

Nick gingerly took the donut from Judy's paws. "You're really— jeez, you've got eyes and a mouth!"

"But no paws! You have no idea how hard it is to type like this!" Donut Officer Benjamin Clawhauser lamented, bouncing— or rather, jiggling— sadly in Nick's paws. "I don't know what happened! See, I was on night shift yesterday, so I stayed over— you guys even had tea with me, remember, Nick?"

"We do," Judy said, propping her chin on her paw, deep in thought.

"Then this morning, I was having coffee, tidying the front desk and—BAM! Just like that! Everything got huge, and I was lying on the counter. Saw my reflection in the phone screen… realized what I'd become. A donut!"

"Look on the bright side, Ben. You're rounder now, but you're also even more sweet," Judy smirked.

"You are not helping," Nick glared at Judy.

"Well, actually, that kinda did help…" The donut-leopard blinked. "Hey, wait a sec, why do you two seem kinda… not yourselves today?"

"Oh, actually—"

A roar from the Chief's office cut Nick off. "So you're saying all this happened because of your 'little mistake'?!"

"Whoa, didn't know Gazelle could get that mad… I mean, I always thought she was such an amiable pop star," Nick wrinkled his nose.

"She is," the chocolate-donut-leopard stated with absolute certainty.

"I can't believe this!" Gazelle bellowed again.

"She even sounds musical when she's angry. Hey," Judy jumped off the counter, "should we check that out? I think Gazelle is going to devour the Chief."

"That's not Gazelle," Officer Donut said gloomily.

"Do you even know what you're saying?" Nick asked nervously, gently patting the donut. "Is the chocolate melting or something? Do you need to be put in the fridge to chill out?"

"No, I'm fine. I mean… that's not Gazelle. That's the Chief."

"Hold up, let me get this straight… So the Chief… turned into Gazelle?" Judy stared intently at the donut.

"Yep."

Well, damn. Nick and Judy exchanged stunned looks.

"The Chief's investigating how it happened. I think sh— he sounds like he's getting somewhere."

"Oh, yes," Gazelle— no, the Chief— appeared beside them, a hoof resting firmly on the shoulder of a black cat who was adjusting his glasses, his tail puffed out in terror. "This young fellow, Mr. Meowlos, is our intern, a herbal tea enthusiast, and a youth… passionately devoted to experimental potions."

"I'm so sorry— I couldn't find my glasses yesterday when I was making tea, and I grabbed the wrong tea bag— it was supposed to be for my experiment—" Meowlos stammered his apology, constantly looking up at the Chief. "Please don't fire me, I love working at the precinct! I might only be good with paperwork, but I really—"

"Shut it, Meowlos," the Chief growled.

"So it was the tea?" Donut—Clawhauser blinked. "Ohhh, that makes sense!" He explained to Nick and Judy, "You know we have a break room, but Meowlos here has some really nice floral teas," The black cat gave Nick and Judy a nervous smile, "so I asked him to brew a pot for me, make my night shift comfy…"

"And I, happening to be organizing case files last night, saw this one brewing tea and told him to pour me a cup," the Chief snorted— a gesture completely mismatched with his current smokin' hot exterior.

"I am really, really sorry…" Meowlos's ears flattened against his head in fear. "Believe me, the effect is not permanent… you'll change back in a few hours, I promise…"

"Really? That's great news!" Nick breathed a sigh of relief.

"So, what kind of tea was this?" Judy asked.

"It's… a blend of many botanicals. The primary effect seems to be… temporarily transforming you into your favorite thing." At this, Meowlos puffed his chest out slightly, looking confident for the first time in the conversation. "I invented it!"

…What on earth is this supposed to be used for?!

The thought flashed through the minds of the other four mammals, but no one dared voice it.

"So, pleeease don't fire me, Chief. I swear I'll work twice as hard to make up for this…" Meowlos looked up pleadingly at the Chief like a soft little kitten.

"I'd kick you out right now if I could," the Chief snorted. "But, dammit, if it were Gazelle, she'd probably think you deserved another chance. Whatever. Half this month's intern pay docked. Probation."

"Thank you, Chief! Thank you!" Meowlos bowed profusely. The Chief waved a hoof. "Now get out of my sight." The black cat scampered off.

"So, Chief, I guess now we see exactly how much you like Gazelle," Judy leaned against the counter, arms crossed, winking at the Chief.

"And we also see you like donuts even more than Gazelle," Nick stroked the donut-officer.

"Y'know, I guess I should kinda thank Meowlos. I never really could've chosen between Gazelle and donuts before," the donut mumbled. Then it bounced, spinning 180 degrees in Nick's palm to face the Chief. "Hey, Chief! Wanna take a selfie with me? Maybe pretend to kiss it—"

"I would rather eat you right now," the Chief said darkly.

"Please don't— oh wait!" The donut suddenly remembered something, spinning back to stare at Nick. "You guys had tea from that pot last night too! Why didn't you change? Don't you have a favorite…" He suddenly realized the implication, flustered. "Oh! I'm not saying your relationship isn't strong enough! I'm not implying you—"

"Shut it." the Chief stated bluntly.

"It's okay, Benjamin," Nick soothed the donut.

"Actually, we do have our favorites. And we did change," Judy said, winking at Nick.

Even his russet fur couldn't hide the blush spreading across Nick's face.

"Oh, cripes, yeah, that's what we were trying to tell you earlier…" Nick sighed. "Actually, I'm Judy."

Judy gave a gentlemanly bow. "And I'm Nick, at your service."

Officer Clawhauser let out a long, long sigh.

Those two can never give me a break.

Can I call the police on them?

Oh wait… they ARE the police.

Where's the justice in that?!

-END-