Chapter Text
*
Cas woke up and immediately jolted upright, realizing that he fell asleep on the couch. But as he looked around, he froze. He wasn’t at the bunker anymore. The sounds of the television, slightly startling him as he reach for the remote to turn it off. He stood up and stumbled upon a few misplaced things before he was finally able to get to the supposed kitchen of this mystery house he was at.
He palmed his pockets to check for his phone, groaning when he felt nothing. That was when he realized he wasn’t wearing his usual trench coat and suit combo, rather, he was just wearing an oversized shirt that suspiciously wasn’t his and a pair of boxers.
Instinctively, he reached out for a kitchen knife before continuing to search around the house. He held the knife close as he walked up the stairs, wincing as it groaned in protest with every step he took.
Castiel’s body tensed when he heard the creaking of a door as he was midway up to the second floor. He was already in his defense position when he sensed the footsteps of the stranger growing closer.
“Cas?”
Cas felt himself drop the knife and look back at the man in front of him with both curiosity and relief.
“Dean?”
Dean walked the remaining half of the stairs to meet Cas, he gently placed his warm palm on Cas’ cheek, somewhat startling the angel. He couldn’t help but lean into his touch, his touch so confident as if he’s done this a lot of times before. Dean looked at him in the eye, Cas noticed the softening of his features as a concerned look masked Dean’s face.
“What’s wrong, babe? I woke up and you weren’t with me in bed.”
Cas was confused and he could feel his head spinning. Nothing made sense. His eyes looked back to where he dropped the knife, Dean followed his gaze.
“Why were you holding a knife?” Dean asked and Cas didn’t miss the fear behind his voice.
Cas had to think quick, “I uh… I thought I heard something strange in the house.”
Dean visibly let out a sigh of relief before shooting Cas a reassuring smile, “Nothing strange in the house, Cas.” He placed a soft kiss on Cas’ lips. It was short, but it was the closest he got to feeling Dean’s soft lips.
You’re not Dean, Cas had wanted to say so badly, but how could he? He was trapped in some kind of spell under Dean’s gaze and lips.
“Come back to bed with me?”
The angel didn’t know how to respond, he just stared back at Dean wide-eyed, before slowly nodding his head. Dean’s smile soon turned into a grin and Cas had to catch his breath – his smile was beautiful.
Dean held one of Cas’ hand in his as he led them upstairs into their room. Cas was still staring at Dean as he removed his shirt. Dean smirked when he noticed him.
“Like what you see?” He chuckles, but his smirk falters once he noticed that Cas was just staring at him with a wistful look. Dean walked back to him and snaked his arms around Cas’ waist, a concerned look once again over reigning his features.
“Are you okay?”
Cas wasn’t stupid, it only took one look at Dean’s adoring, love-filled gaze to know that he wasn’t the real Dean. Yet somehow, Cas didn’t care.
Their fingers interlocked with each other and were raised to their chests for both of them to see. Cas had to suppress a gasp and hold back tears when he noticed identical rings on either of their hands.
They were married.
Cas’ mind felt even hazier, but he smiled with equal – if not more – adoration back at Dean. “I’ve never felt better.”
Dean’s breathtaking smile was there again as he held the back of Cas’ neck before capturing his lips in another kiss. Cas felt himself melt into Dean’s arms, it amazes him how perfectly their bodies seem to fit. Dean backs them up until Cas could feel the edge of the bed, both of them not breaking the kiss. Dean places both of his hands on Cas’ back to support him while Dean lays both of them down on the bed gently.
They part for air and Dean props himself slightly up using his hands. He stares at Cas with those damn green eyes filled with love and adoration for the man underneath him. “I love you,” Dean whispers to Cas like it was a secret; like it was meant only for the two of them.
Cas wasn’t able to prevent the tears from spilling this time, they flow freely from his eyes down to the side of his face. Dean frowns and wiped them away using his thumbs. “Did I say something wrong?”
Cas gasped for air before replying, “No,” he laughed, all past pain leaving his chest leaving room only for love. “No,” he repeated, before quickly turning them over so that he was on top. He peppered Dean’s face with sweet kisses, whispering “I love you, I love you, I love you,” over and over again between each kiss like a mantra.
Dean chuckled, somewhat ticklish. He cupped Cas’ cheeks with his hands once he stopped kissing him. They stared at each other again – it must be their thing – and Dean caresses his cheeks saying, “Beautiful.”
Cas’ chokes back a sob, not wanting to seem suspiciously emotional all of a sudden. He felt his heart beating rapidly inside his chest because Dean’s here, they’re together, they’re happy, Dean loves him. Dean loves him.
He couldn’t seem to believe or even wrap his head around the idea, but there they were, happy, and Dean’s smile was gorgeous, and he loves him. Cas was loved.
They fell asleep wrapped in each other’s arms, surrounded by each other’s body heat. And just before Cas closed his eyes, he stared at Dean’s sleeping figure before smiling and wrapping his arms tighter around the man he loved.
Nothing seemed more perfect than that moment.
*
A ray of sunlight bled through the windows at the places that the curtains weren’t able to block. Cas was removed from his slumber when the ray of sunlight was directed to his eyelids. He frowned and scrunched his nose, silently cursing the glaring sun for disturbing his sleep. He blindly searched for Dean’s body on his side of the bed, his eyes opening wide when his hand came in contact with the sheets. He sat up from the bed, immediately regretting it when he felt his blood pressure drop, causing him to feel dizzy. No, no, no, no.
He forced himself to ignore his sudden headache and stood up on his feet, using the wall as support as he left the room. His brain was still hazy from just waking up and he was in too much of a state of panic that he didn’t even stop to think about how the hell he actually fell asleep in the first place – angels don’t sleep.
The thought of it all just being a dream was too painful for Cas to even think of. But then again, he was still in the house. Their home. Maybe it wasn’t a dream after all. The relief Cas felt didn’t last long when his mind thought of much worse things, what if Dean left him?
But that thought was thrown out of the window when Cas heard noises in the kitchen, and that was the only time he noticed the smell of bacon in the air.
He slowly padded his way to the kitchen, holding his breath in anticipation. He entered the kitchen and immediately let out a sigh of relief when he saw the familiar mop of sandy blonde hair. Cas walked towards Dean, wrapping his arms around his waist before placing a kiss on his neck. He could feel Dean chuckle before turning around to kiss him on the lips. Cas breathed out a contented sigh after they part their lips, staring at Dean in awe, as if Cas couldn’t believe that he was here. He’s still here.
“I love you,” Cas said with as much sincerity he could muster. He wouldn’t mind having to repeat the words over and over with every minute he spends with Dean, as long as he was with him, everything was alright.
Dean kisses him on the forehead, his nose, and both of his cheeks before finally kissing him again on the lips. He let their foreheads press against each other, Cas smiled while closing his eyes. He lets out a laugh when he felt Dean brush their noses together.
“Get the plates, I’ll serve breakfast in a while.” Dean said and Cas nodded and that was when he noticed,
“Nice apron,” he winked at Dean. Dean blushed, his freckles becoming more evident and Cas just wanted to melt at his husband’s adorableness.
Dean rolled his eyes playfully, “Shut up, you love it.”
“I actually do,” Cas laughed, getting plates for both him and Dean and setting them on the dining table.
Dean soon followed him minutes later with a plate of freshly cooked bacon, “With extra grease, just how you like it.”
“You mean, how you like it,” Cas teased.
Dean pouted, “Touché.”
The aroma of bacon filled Cas’ senses, his mouth watering as he took one and bit it. “These are amazing!” Cas moaned, his eyes closing.
“Yeah?” Dean asked, standing next to Cas. “Let me try some,” He said as he snaked one arm around Cas’ waist, the other at his nape before pulling Cas into a more passionate kiss. Cas could feel Dean’s tongue exploring his mouth making him moan once more before they pulled away gasping for air.
“Dean!” Cas squeaked, “I haven’t even brushed my teeth!” he whined, trying to sound annoyed, when truly, he felt like a blushing school girl.
“Mmm,” Dean said, licking his lips. “Yum,” he smiled cheekily as Cas blushed harder, somewhat resembling a tomato.
Cas’ heart fluttered happily in his chest during the rest of their breakfast. They did the usual cliché: wiping excess grease from each other’s mouths, holding hands from across the table, and exchanging words of sweet nothings.
Not long after that, Cas and Dean went to the shower to freshen up. Dean making a comment that they could save more water if they shower together. Cas immediately pushed Dean into the shower room.
Clean, fresh, and dry, Cas basked in the warmth of Dean’s body wrapped around his and inhaled his sweet scent while the two of them were just lazily sprawled on the couch, watching television.
A doorbell was what disrupted the two from continuing their TV marathon of Game of Thrones. Cas frowned, wondering who could be visiting them. He slowly unwrapped himself from Dean’s arms, saying that he’d get the door. A minute hasn’t even passed and Cas already misses the warmth of Dean’s body against his. He opens the door and was met with a pleasant surprise,
“Charlie?”
Upon hearing the name, Dean walked towards Cas and smiled at Charlie
“What’s up bitches?” Charlie laughed before hugging both Dean and Cas.
“Hey, Charlie,” Dean greeted, “A bit late, are we?”
Charlie smiled, “Yeah, got caught up in traffic.” She turned to Cas, “So you’re ready?”
Cas tilted his head, “Uh… ready for what?”
Charlie just laughed before playfully punching Cas on the shoulder, “For our shopping day, silly! You promised to accompany me in my comic hunting today, remember?”
“I-I did?”
“Yeah,” Dean replied, “Now go on, you two. I’ll drive by the garage in a while.”
He turned to Cas, “And I’ll,” he kisses him on the nose, “See you later.”
“Ugh, married people.” Charlie rolled her eyes but laughed only a few moments later.
“Shut up, we’re adorable.” Dean said back before giving Cas another kiss.
As the two walked to Charlie’s car, Cas didn’t notice the knowing looks on both Dean and Charlie’s faces.
*
The day stretched on with Cas and Charlie driving from comic shop to comic shop, it was dinner time when Charlie finally dropped him off to his house.
“Thanks, Cas! Had a great time today,” Charlie yelled from her car as Cas was about to enter his home.
He turned to her and smiled, “I’m glad you did, we should do this again.”
Charlie shared her agreement before finally driving off. Cas took out his keys and unlocked their front door, frowning when the place was left without any lights on.
“Dean?” Cas called out as he tried feeling for the light switch. Once he flipped the lights on, he looked at the floor to see rose petals forming a path. He followed it and discovered that it led to their dining room. The only source of light in the room was a candle that was placed at the center of the table, creating a relaxing, romantic ambiance. Cas could make out a silhouette of a man as he stepped closer and closer to Cas.
Cas was unable to suppress a gasp when he saw Dean in front of him, holding out a rose, “For you,” Dean smiled.
Cas stared at him in both shock and awe, before slowly reaching for the rose and taking it, “Dean? What is all this?”
Dean took his hand and led him to sit on the chair before sitting on the one across from him. There was food served on the table, and everything looked delicious. Dean took both of Cas’ hands, his thumb rubbing it gently. “Happy 5th year anniversary, Cas.”
“Dean…” was all Cas could whisper as he struggled not to cry right then and there. It didn’t work, though. Tears once again spilled from his blue eyes, making Dean wipe them with his thumbs.
Overwhelmed with such emotion, Cas could only say, “I love you.” Over and over and over again, making sure that Dean hears him. Making sure that Dean could understand him. Making sure that Dean doesn’t forget.
Cas wasn’t able to help himself, he stood from where he sat and tackled Dean in a hug, kissing every inch of his face. He was laughing while crying, he was crazy, but Cas didn’t care.
He let their foreheads rest against each other, just staring into Dean’s sparkling green eyes. They both smile and Dean pulls him into another kiss before ushering him back to his seat. He serves their food and it’s honestly the best thing Cas has eaten, even if it were just burgers – yes, burgers are never off the menu.
Dean leads both of them to their bedroom soon after. And after a bit of persuading, he lifted Cas in bridal style as he walked up the steps, gently placing him on their soft bed. Dean kisses Cas like he’s been thirsty for so long and Cas’ lips were an abundant fountain of water. He leaves no skin untouched, slowly kissing his jaw down to his neck. Cas sighed out of pleasure and content.
Dean took off his shirt before helping Cas with his, they were both only wearing boxers by this time. Dean’s hands trace Cas’ body, as if he was memorizing every curve and every muscle. He covers their half-naked bodies under the blankets, both of them just smiling at each other, panting slightly.
“I love you,” Cas repeats, probably for the millionth time that day, but he doesn’t care, and neither does Dean.
“I love you, too, angel.” He kisses Cas on the nose before Cas turns around to be spooned by Dean.
“Please don’t ever leave me,” Cas suddenly blurts out of the blue, he tenses for a while but relaxes when Dean kisses his shoulder and says, “I won’t. Ever.”
They fall asleep shortly after that.
*
Five days. For five more days, Cas was happy.
On the first day of his second week in his dreams, he woke up next to Dean staring at him, eyes glistening with adoration.
Cas blushes, “Hi,” he says shyly.
Dean kisses him, “Hi,” he chuckles. “You look beautiful while you’re asleep.”
Cas blushes furiously, “And when I’m awake?”
Dean looks at him in the eye, “Beyond gorgeous.”
It’s already been a week, yet Cas still couldn’t help the tears that were once again forming in his eyes. He’ll never get tired of the compliments and of the warm feeling in his chest. He’ll never get tired of just lying in bed with Dean. He’ll never get tired of falling in love with Dean.
The two decide that it’s still too early for them to be up, so Dean turns the other way around, and this time, Cas spoons him. He buries his head between Dean’s neck and shoulder, kissing softly where the two meet causing Dean to let out an appreciative noise. They sleep for three more hours before they sleepily lead each other into the shower.
What they did were just mundane things, but anything mundane turns special for Cas as long as he’s doing it with Dean. They were once again wrapped in each other’s arms while watching TV, well, Dean was watching, Cas wasn’t. He was just enjoying being held by Dean’s strong yet gentle arms.
Once again, it was a doorbell that interrupted their marathon, but this time, Dean was the one to answer the door. Cas was just about ready to fall asleep again when he heard the name,
“Sammy?”
Cas was instantly on his feet and next to Dean, and he saw that sure enough, it was the younger Winchester standing outside their doorstep.
Sam had the same confused face as Cas had, “Dean? Cas?”
Dean seems unfazed with the tension between Cas and Sam. He hugs his brother tightly then pats his shoulder, “I didn’t know you were visiting, come in!”
Sam awkwardly walks into their house, eyeing Cas the whole time. Dean walks into the kitchen but frowns when he sees no beer in their fridge, he sighs and grabs his leather jacket before turning to his husband and his brother, “We’re out of beer, I’ll be quick.” And then he was out.
Cas didn’t dare look at Sam, and the tension in the air was thick enough to be sliced with a knife. Cas felt like throwing up all of a sudden.
“Cas…”
Cas winces at the sadness evident in Sam’s tone. No… no, it wasn’t sadness, it was pity. He pays Sam no mind.
“Cas,” Sam repeats, this time with more confidence. Cas sighs in defeat before turning to face Sam.
Sam face softens, “Cas, you do know that all of this isn’t real, right?” he whispers.
Cas felt his whole world crash down and erupt in flames, not because he only realized this now, but because he knew that this was Sam trying to wake him up. But he doesn’t want to. He smiles sadly before replying just as quietly, “I know.”
Sam seems to be surprised by his answer, “Then why are you-”
“Because I don’t care, Sam.” Cas snaps. He breathes out a sigh to compose himself, “I know none of it is real, but I don’t care.”
Sam remains silent, not sure how to answer.
“How did you get here?” Cas asked.
“I drank an African Dream root, then had Dean knock me out,”
“What?”
Instead of answering his question, Sam sighs and turns to properly face Cas, “You do know that the Djinn’s killing you?”
Cas’ shocked face was enough of an answer for Sam. “But how?” He asks, “You said Djinn’s feed on human blood, I’m an angel, Sam.”
“It’s not taking your blood, Cas, the Djinn’s taking your grace, and it’s slowly fading, and it’s killing you.”
It was Cas’ turn to remain silent.
“You have to wake up, Cas. Before it’s too late,”
Tears well up on Cas’ eyes, but this time it isn’t out of happiness. It’s far from that.
“I don’t want to, Sam.”
“Pardon?” Sam couldn’t believe what he was hearing.
“I said I don’t want to. If it’s killing me the longer I stay here, then so be it. Let me die. At least I’d die happy.”
“Can you even hear what you’re saying?” Sam asked in disbelief.
“Why do you even care whether I live or not, why risk your lives trying to save me?” Cas retorted.
“Because you’re family, Cas! Dean and I care about you. After all you’ve done for us, you’d be crazy to think we wouldn’t take a bullet for you.”
“Exactly, Sam! Haven’t I done enough? Can’t I be selfish just for once?” Cas’ tears were already flowing freely.
“No, Cas. Not like this,” Sam whispered. “We’re gonna fix this, Cas. You’re gonna wake up and then we’ll all talk, then everything will be okay.”
“No, Sam. It’s not that easy.”
Sam remains silent for a while, weighing his words, before replying, “Well, just know that while you’re happy with dream Dean here, the real Dean’s out there, risking his life to save both of our asses.”
Cas tenses once again, “Why, what’s Dean doing?”
“Before he knocked me out, we found out that there were two Djinns in the ruins. He’s left to fight them while I get in your head to wake you up.”
“That idiot,” Cas mutters.
Sam smiles sadly, “You do know that he cares about you?”
Cas doesn’t answer.
Instead, he asks, “Give me one reason why I should leave this place where everything I ever wanted is what I have?”
“Aren’t both Dean and your lives at stake enough of a reason?”
Cas closes his eyes, “If I do want to wake up, and that’s a big if, how will I?”
Sam retrieves an angel blade from the inside of his jacket and hands it to Cas, “If you really are in a dream, then you’ll wake up when you die.”
Cas eyes the angel blade on his hands and grasps it tightly, his whole body shaking. “Please, Sam. Please tell me there’s another way.”
Sam’s heart breaks seeing the once mighty angel like this; so broken, so torn.
“Please tell me I can stay,” were the final words of the angel before he finally breaks down and weeps on the floor, bashing his fist on the solid tiles.
Sam looks away, not able to look at Cas, “I- I’m sorry… I can’t.”
The angel’s wailing could be heard from the entire house. It took a moment, but later on the angel was silent, his body shaking like tremors. Sam is by his side, rubbing a comforting hand on the angel’s back. Sam helps him sit on the couch. Cas hiccups as he wipes his tears.
The house was silent again, for a while.
“Fine,” Cas whispers.
Sam’s head immediately shoots up to look at the broken angel, as if to ask if he heard Cas right.
“But I have to talk to him, one last time.”
Sam was about to answer when they heard the creaking of a door, and Dean removing his shoes and switching to his slippers before entering the living room, “Hey, I got us some beer and pie.” Dean said and Cas couldn’t help but slightly smile at Dean’s mention of pie. He hid the angel blade from Dean’s sight so he wouldn’t notice.
Dean shrugs off his jacket and hangs it before facing them, “Come on, I’ll set up the grill and I could make us some stea - Hey… Cas, have you been crying?” Dean asks worriedly before turning to Sam, “Sam, what did I say about chick-flick moments?” he somewhat reprimanded the younger Winchester.
Sam evidently tried to swallow the lump in his throat, not sure how to answer the dream version of his brother. He doesn’t.
“It’s fine, Dean. Can we just… talk?” Cas eyes Sam wearily, “Alone?”
Dean seems worried about Cas’ sudden change of mood but nods anyway before making their way to the kitchen, leaving Sam in the living room. But before the two enter the kitchen, Cas faces Sam before pleading, “When I wake up, please don’t tell Dean.” To which Sam reluctantly nods to.
As soon as they enter the kitchen, Cas kisses Dean hard and desperately on the lips before peppering kisses everywhere on his face. Then he hugs Dean tightly as if he’d fly away if Cas lets go. Who knows? He actually might.
“Cas? I’m worried. What’s wrong, angel?” Dean asked as he wrapped his arms around Cas to return his embrace.
Cas chokes a sob then pulls away from their embrace. He cups Dean’s face and looks at every detail of his face, trying to remember them, trying to memorize them. Because he knows, he knows that when he wakes up, he won’t be able to be this close to him.
“Did you know that freckles are also known as angel kisses?” Cas asked.
Dean was confused by the sudden question but chuckles lightly, “You bastard, so you’re responsible for these.” He said referring to the light brush of freckles covering his face.
Cas laughs lightly, “Mm, but they suit you.” Cas looks at him in the eye, “I love you, Dean.”
Dean frowns, “I love you too, Cas. Are you sure you’re okay?”
Cas smiles sadly, “If you kiss me, I will be.”
Dean’s frown soon turns into a smile as he gently places his lips on Cas’. Cas let’s himself melt into the kiss, Dean’s arms supporting him from falling. He basks in the warmth and the feeling of love, of comfort, of security in Dean’s arms.
When they part from the kiss, Dean smiles sweetly to Cas, “Are you okay now?”
Cas smiles back at Dean, bitterly, “I am, but in a few minutes I won’t be.”
Dean’s smile falters, “Why?”
Cas cups Dean’ face again with his hands, “I’m in a dream Dean, I knew I was the moment I saw all that love and adoration in your eyes. I knew it was too good to be true.”
Dean shoots Cas a confused look. Cas continues, “At first I didn’t care, even when Sam said that I was dying, but… Dean – the real Dean – is out there, and Sam and I have to help him.”
Dean raised a brow, “Cas, this is real,” he holds one of Cas’ hands that were cupping his cheek, “I’m real.” He insists. He kisses Cas’ nose “Doesn’t this feel real to you?”
Cas was crying, again. Damnit, he thinks, how many times did he already cry today? The angel was just too exhausted. “It does feel real, and it’s the best feeling I’ve ever felt. But they need me, Dean, I’m so sorry.” Cas snaps his fingers and the angel blade is once again in his grasp.
“But I need you…” Dean said, tears were also flowing freely from his green eyes. Cas just let’s out a broken sob. He didn’t know what words to tell the man he loves to help him ease the pain.
“Cas?” Dean whispers, and it breaks Cas’ heart even further, Dean sounds so lost. So broken. “You’re leaving me? Why? Am I not enough?”
Cas’ body trembles again, He almost wasn’t able to respond, but he gasped for air, to try and calm himself. It doesn’t work. Instead, he rests their foreheads together and whispers, “You’re not just enough, you’re everything. This is just temporary. I’ll come back to you. I’ll come back home.”
He inches his lips nearer to Dean in what was possibly their last kiss. But before he kisses Dean, he whispers “I’ll come back home.” And as their lips meet, so did the angel blade pierce through Cas’ chest.
*
Sam could only remember vaguely what happened while he was waiting at the living room. It was quiet, but then he heard a high pitched sound, the lights around the entire house flickering, and bright light coming from the kitchen. And then suddenly, he was abruptly woken up.
His mind was hazy, he remembers few details of how he cut Cas free from the restrictions, how he slumped to the floor, how Cas took what was left of his grace, and how Dean almost got killed by the Djinns.
What he does remember was the anger radiating off of Dean’s body as he shouted at Cas. As he shouted at him for letting the Djinn take control of him for so long. As he yelled at him for not waking up sooner. All his anger, Cas took on as he healed the other victims.
Neither did Sam nor Cas say a word.
All the victims survived, thanks to Cas’ powers. But healing the victims took a toll on the angel’s strength. The Winchester brothers escorted them out of the ruins and gave them a safe way back to the nearest town.
After all this was done, Dean’s anger had still not faded one bit. Sam went with Dean to the impala to help his brother cool off, while Cas was left in the ruins and mumbled something about meeting them at the bunker in a while.
When Cas was finally alone, he was left to stare at the two Djinns that lay dead on the floor. He killed one of them, while Dean stabbed the other. He kneeled beside them, looking at the creatures who were able to grant the wish that he had wanted for so long. He felt stupid for wanting to thank them, after all, they did try to kill him, but he did. He wanted to thank them a lot.
He flew back to the bunker, not saying a word to both of the Winchesters and just proceeded to his room and locked himself there.
All the lights were out, and Cas wrapped himself in blankets as he closed his eyes, imagining Dean waiting for him at their house. Their home.
But the dream never did come, and neither did Dean, how could he? Angels don’t sleep.