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Dear Rachel
I've always liked the way your eyebrows curve when you're sad. I must admit that sometimes, when we fight, I look at your face more than I hear your eternal rantings against me.
You're very expressive, it's like every time I'm near you I can find new little details.
Your eyes are always kind and loving towards me, even when your words are not saying the same. That little shine in them—I'm sure it has to mean something.
Well, everything about you is brilliant. When you start performing, it's like watching a storm gathering; beautiful, powerful, and with the capacity to destroy anything around it. Your face speaks for itself, like whatever you're singing about comes right from your heart. I always make fun of you and the way you sing or how you express yourself, but actually, the world would be black and white without your voice.
The way you can talk for minutes about anything is very special. I don't have that ability. I don't have that much passion about anything, but when I'm with you, I can almost feel that same spark inside me. You convey emotions to people who need them the most.
I'm glad that Finn will have that now. The ramblings, the solos, everything you feel. I just hope he knows how to appreciate such potent things. Sometimes I think he's too tiny a jar to try to contain such a big human being.
You know my opinion about marrying him.
I just think that you have a lot of things to do before getting married, Rachel. You're much more than someone's wife. Still, I'm sorry for my exaggerated reaction, the news just felt a little surprising, you know?
I mean, you can be whatever you want to be and you choose to be his wife?
Don't get me wrong, Finn is a good guy, but wouldn't you like someone you could talk to? Someone with more life direction? Not that I'm much better than him in that aspect, though.
Maybe he just takes better care of you than I ever could have. I don't know, I'll never know. He probably does. He's a tall, protective man who can hold you in his arms, unlike me. I couldn't even act happy when you told me you'd gotten engaged. You needed a friend, someone to share your joy with, and I didn't do that for you. You've needed me a lot of times and I'm too much of a coward to react. But how could I when I was so deeply hurt?
If I told you I was marrying a man, would you care? Would you even blink?
I'll try to be happy for you. Maybe when I see your smile while you're in that white dress my perception will change, but my heart will never reach peace until I see you safe and sound.
Never lose that great mind of yours, Rachel. You always read people so well. You know their insecurities, their thoughts, their feelings; anything you need to know about them. Can you read what I'm feeling right now? Do you even think about me, Rachel?
If so, please don't marry him.
You're young, Rachel. Even the youngest, biggest stars can implode.
I'll miss you a lot. And how could I not? You have always been here, even as a little rock in my shoe. Where would I find someone who is even half as defying and interesting? Since freshman year, there hasn't been a single day that I haven't looked at you. I'll never get tired of that. I'll even look at you when you're walking arm in arm with him towards the altar. It doesn't matter how many people are inside a room, you'll always be the most interesting one in there.
I'm glad that I got to share my school years with someone like you, and I still regret a lot of things, especially being too scared of the way you always stole all the attention, but what hurts the most is thinking about all that we could've been if I weren't such an arrogant idiot.
I know you won't ever stop being the same brilliant, captivating girl that I've always known. But things will change from now on, and you don't seem to get that.
Wherever you are next year, New York or Lima, I know you'll find a way to shine like you always do, and I hope that light reaches me someday.
With love, Quinn.