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He felt stiff.
The tuxedo specifically made for this event looks amazing on him.
The cut are on spot and the color combinations of black, grey, and white are perfect to accentuate his figure and snowy locks without making him look so formal. The barely visible prints on his grey vest are also good and make a good contrast to his red bow tie. Some other little details here and there, some folds here and some buttons there, make the tux more fashionable rather than the usual sleek and ceremonial attire that it was.
Alluka was so right to let that rainbow-y guy tailor this.
Although he really doesn’t like how the man look—okay, more like ogle—at him like a piece of meat freshly offered in the market while his assistant were getting his measurement, he’ll admit that he is pretty good. In fact, he’ll give it to the man, he loves the tux.
He looks good, stunning even.
He still felt stiff though.
But he looks quite breath-taking and it somehow outweighs the little discomfort so…
And now all he’s worried about is Gon. Well, not really Gon, because Gon can definitely be fine on his own, but his wardrobe for the night scares Killua like hell.
Due to Alluka’s demand that the two of them should just let the rainbow-y guy (Hanz, why can’t the man look normal just like his name?) take care of their suits, Gon and him went and give their measurements to the boutique at the same day. It was okay in the beginning but then Hanz, went and asked Gon what color he prefers his suit to be… and all hell broke loose—at least in Killua’s mind—because Gon (bless his poor soul and his poorer fashion sense) said he wants his to be in the same shade of green just like his shirt… which is the same hideous green he had been wearing since they were fucking 12.
He doesn’t have any problem, usually, with anything green but for this event, this night, he prefers not to see that shade thank you very much. It was like a decade of being exposed to that shade of green is not enough!
He tried, oh kami he really did, to dissuade Gon from insisting for that shade but damn that rainbow man and his minions (yes, minions because his assistants are all in bright yellow and blue ensemble every-fucking-day) for siding with Gon and supporting him for his choice.
Now, now, he’s quite in jitters because despite Gon looking like Achilles in his glory days everyday with or without high-end outfits, he still prefer him to look good—the best, tonight.
Oh good kami, please—
“Killua, I don’t think I am doing this quite right—”
And here comes his nightma—or not.
Killua held back his breath for a couple of milliseconds upon seeing Gon emerging from the bedroom door.
‘Fuck me.’
Gon looks amazing, absolutely fucking amazing and he just knew that he would be turning heads tonight.
‘Fuck me.’
Gon, the blasted man that he is, is not wearing green (Killua sends a silent prayer of gratitude to the gods for simple blessings) but a very sleek black tux with immaculate white pleated dress shirt, black cummerbund and onyx bow tie.
Well, look at that. He looks perfect.
“Onii-chan, Gon will still look perfect to you even if he’s in a garbage bag. Your opinions do not count.”
People can’t blame him though. Gon has this effortless charm despite his horrendous fashion style and Killua, he’s always captivated for like a couple of minutes at most but he’s not blind! Geez.
“Killua~ how should this rose be placed here? It’s impossible! It will get ruined no matter—oh wow.”
Hazel eyes shines brighter upon landing on him.
“Wow! Killua!” he beams at him with smile so big that all he can do to avoid that look is to advance towards him and help him pin the lapel properly.
A couple of minutes pass by as he was trying to will away the blush he knows that’s creeping in his cheeks and ears because Gon is gazing at him still.
“Love what you see?” he quips confidently.
Gon hums his approval.
“Actually, I think baby you’re slayin’ that tux.”
Killua momentarily freezes at that.
“Wh-what?” the view that greets him when he looks at Gon’s face is of someone who’s playfully teasing yet… yet glowing.
Gon chuckles then proceed to kiss him on the cheeks. “You’re slayin’ that tux—”
“The heck—wh-what does that even mean?” he complaints embarrassedly as he punches Gon in the arms. Hard. Then decided that it’s too early for him to put out some steam because of Gon’s sweet talking and went back to the mirror to have some final touches on his outfit.
Gon chuckles more then follows him. He situated himself then behind Killua in front of the mirror then proceeds to fix his cufflinks. “It means,” he looks directly in Killua’s eyes then with overwhelming honesty said, “that you’re so gorgeous wearing that. Hanz-san was so right.”
Now, Killua is quite worried if he’ll survive the night because apparently, it’s that night again—where Gon is overly sweet and attentive and fucking embarrassing.
He turns around and splutters, “G-Gon! I- that’s—that’s so—that’s embarrassing!”
Gon outright laughs at that then kisses him on the lips as his hands caresses his cheeks. “I love you too and I can think of other words to describe you, like, beautiful. Stunning. Amazing. Magnifice—oh no, no, no, you’re not gonna get me with that again.” He said laughing as he flinches away from Killua’s fingers on their way to pinch him on the sides.
Gon then let go of him after a soft kiss on his forehead.
“I’ll wait in the car!” he hollers as he escapes.
Killua’s face is now as bright as his tie.
He’s in for a tough night.
-----------------
As per usual, Gon deemed it right to drive for the both of them to the Zoldyck estate.
The silence inside the car is part heavy with dread and part heavy with anticipation of what will happen tonight. It wasn’t uncomfortable but it made them both quite unsettled.
There’s no snow falling on earth anymore but he can still feel the chill around that seeps inside his coat.
As they get nearer and nearer to their destination, Killua can’t help but remember the day he left their house. It’s been almost a decade ago since he did that. Crazy, rebellious, naïve little Killua finally set foot outside their manor to escape from his life.
Life has been hard on him but everything was worth it, and he has no doubt that when faced with the same situation, he’ll still do what he did.
Killua will still escape and be free.
The only regret that he has though is his inability to bring with him his younger siblings. He’s barely legal at the time and he was hardly allowed to leave their absurdly big properties so it can’t be helped.
“Killua?”
“Hmm?”
“Are you nervous?”
“No. Not really.” He said crossing his arms in front of his chest. They’re on a highway half a mile away from their destination. The sky outside are getting darker by each second. “More like… hmmm. Actually, I’m more excited to see Alluka and Kalluto, you know. It’s been a while since I last saw the two of them.” he said now staring at Gon.
And once again he’s struck surprise with how handsome Gon look tonight. With his tux unbuttoned like that, and his eyes focused on the road, he looks dashing. Concentration and focus look hot as fuck on him and Killua is going to be doomed if he do not stop imagining things right now.
“Ehh, I bet Alluka and Nanika will look beautiful tonight.” Gon said smiling. Wonder clear in his eyes.
It still surprises him how it happened that the two are so close now because they are both… difficult at first.
The two of them had started quite roughly because both are stubborn and attention seeker (although the only attention that they want is from Killua and it was overwhelming to be needed that much by others).
But things have changed after they both got turned away by a fuming Killua and got themselves drunk. Apparently getting some booze on their bloodstreams help them to understand each other better and how they should share Killua with each other.
Killua was only slightly offended because he’s not a thing to be owned, more so, to be shared but since it patched things up between two of the most precious people in his life, he let it pass.
After that, things just seem to unravel one after the other between his sister and Gon. He just woke up one day with Alluka telling him that she’s decided to undergo the operation and Gon will be the one to follow-up everything seeing that he’s more knowledgeable in the medical field. He cried that day and he didn’t even know why but he feels so happy for her and proud of Gon for showing Alluka how brave she can be by taking that step to take what she wants— needs, in her life.
Now it’s been almost two years since the operation and Alluka’s looking better and better each day. She’s more than thankful to Gon. Well, Killua is too of course.
For a couple of more minutes they stayed just like that, comfortable as they sit side by side in the car. Gon is busy driving while Killua is lost staring at him.
“Killua.”
“Hmmm?” He answered absentmindedly, all he can focus right now is how breath-taking the lights illuminate Gon. And wow, his suit is glorious. On him. That fact should not be forgotten. The blasted suit is glorious on him.
“Did it hurt?” he asks.
“Huh?”
Mischievous glint is shining in his hazel eyes when he stares at Killua for a moment. “When you fell out of heaven, did it hurt?”
Pursed smile.
Splutters.
“W-what?!”
And the man even had gall to outright laugh at him while driving.
“Gon!” he exclaims as his cheeks are turning bright. “What the hell?! Geez!”
After a while he realized it.
This. This is Gon’s way of diffusing his unvoiced discomfort.
‘Perceptive freak as ever.’
“That is so corny, Gon.” He said then afterwards, leaning on his side and looking outside. “Like, outright cliché.”
“Weeeeell, I can come up with something better.” He answered. “Besides,” he looks as Killua for a second then, “you're so beautiful that you made me forget my real pickup line!”
The way he delivers the line was both earnest and teasing, and Killua is blushing like there’s no tomorrow.
“Oh my god! Gon! That is so lame! Stop!” he exclaims as he hit Gon lightly on his arms while laughing.
And just like that, the remaining time they have was spent laughing at every corny, cheesy, and outrageous pick-up lines Gon can come up with.
-----------------
A sharp sound of the glass hit by a silverware quiets down the table.
“I know that you’re all aware for the reason behind this occasion.” A low baritone voice envelope the whole room as he looks at everyone gathered in the table. The lingering look shot to them has not gone unnoticed by the two of them because, of course, the two of them being together and present there in the table is an issue. “Today, Kalluto has come of age and that signifies that each and everyone here in this table is now of legal age”
A fat silence.
Killua swears that the past years had made his father more… dramatic than he was before Killua left the manor. This attitude is more like his mother’s forte after all.
“And as per the tradition of the Zoldyck family, now that all of my children are eligible for the position, I shall name my heir.”
It was spoken with a tone that seems to imply that no one has a clue to who will be the next heir, which is not the case. That news became official years ago without being really announced like this.
“All things considered, and with all the wealth in perfect division, Father and I decided to name Kil as the next president of all of our businesses once I retire.”
His father is now looking straight at him.
He respects his father. A lot. So much so that he decided to attend this family gathering with an overly formal and stiff atmosphere in their excessively spacious dining hall wearing an overly formal and stiff tuxedo. Yes, of course also because he loves Kalluto just as much as Alluka and he wouldn’t pass his coming of age for anything.
“And as the heir, of course, Kil you are entitled to some obligations.” It was his mother, all pensive and personal. So unlike her everyday persona, really.
Everyone in the table seems so impersonal about everything being said and done, as usual. Well, tonight is quite different because there’s an anomaly, something very unusual in a Zoldyck family gathering—an intruder, a guess.
Upon hearing those words, everyone in the family, from Zeno to Kalluto, has donned their poker faces except for Gon, who looks very much serious and critical in taking the news.
“Kil, as the heir, you are going to succeed your father. Your brother Illumi will be there to support you all the way, so you don’t have to fret, dear.” She says with a toxic smile that Killua never learned to appreciate. “And also—”
“Pardon me, Mom. But,” he dabs the tissue to his lips to get rid of some crumbs then looks from his mother to his oldest brother, “no offense Illumi-nii,” then back to his mother and father, “I don’t think I’ll be needing Illumi-nii’s help or guidance. In fact, rest assured that I will succeed the company just fine without anyone else who needs to go out of their way to teach me the ways.”
Her mother gasps.
Killua ignored that, as well as the tensing of Gon’s hand on his thigh. The gesture was supposed to be reassuring for him. He doesn’t need it of course. He’s been prepared for this situation for years now. This decision was already established way, way back. These are all before Gon. Before the two of them met and build what they have now. Though that served as something like a major factor for his decisions but nothing big really changed from his resolve.
“Kil, you hurt my feelings.” Illumi said with zero emotions both in tone and action.
He felt the soft squeeze on is thigh; a reassurance that he’s not alone.
Really, he doesn’t need the support, but the warmth and the thought is endearing. It felt nice.
“Dad, are you sure you wouldn’t change your mind about Kil being the heir. Seeing his… current situation, he will not be able to fulfil one of the most important obligations a Zoldyck should do.” Milluki joins in the conversation even while he is busy chewing on the roast beef he previously gotten from his plate.
“Situation?” Silva asks, piercing eyes directed at Milluki.
That made Milluki gulped hard and choke for a while.
“Y-yes, I-I mean with him and that guy together we can only hope for an heir coming from him.” He explained purposely not looking at Killua because he knew that his younger brother is sending death glares at him now.
Well, he’s not wrong. In fact, Killua is subtly, quietly praying for him to choke again. And the sooner the better.
“Ah. I see, I see.” Silva hums then looks at the two of them. “That reminds me, Killua, you brought someone.” A tilt of his head is the only indicator that he was pertaining to Gon.
And the idiot, freezes. Very visibly.
These kinds of talks with the family required emotionless facades and near-perfect impenetrable emotional and mental barrier to be able to survive unscathed. Their family is special after all. Almost a millennia of running a highly successful conglomerate in the pharmaceutical and medical department and constantly facing high-end socialites made them like that.
The only way to survive this peaceful crossfire is by being as impersonal and unaffected no matter what whichever side throws in the table; which Gon lacks. Of course, honest to goodness and open as a book, Gon, can’t do what this family is doing.
He clears his throat and subtly grasps Gon’s hand on his thigh. He squeezes a little.
‘Relax.’
“Uhhm, actually Dad, I have two conditions before I fully take in your position.” He looks earnestly to his father, not minding anyone else in the table.
His dad is the biggest hurdle. Whatever he says about this will determine whether his life will be like living in hell or a walk in the park… with dinosaurs and poisonous plants and monsters masquerading as businessmen in expensive suits but still, a much better and healthier place for his mind, body, and soul.
Well, his Grandfather has a say in this too, but he’s sure that Grandpa Zeno will like Gon so there’s a lower chance of him not agreeing to this.
“Conditions, eh? What a disrespectful brat you have become Kil.” Illumi, who’s sitting in front of his mother, turns to him. Despite his emotionless face, Killua can feel the disapproving intent directed towards him. “Dad, it seems like I’m correct to assume that Kil lacks training. Would you like me to help him with that?” He turns towards his father with a sideways tilt of his head.
“Illumi.”
It wasn’t delivered in anyway demanding or commanding, but all of them knew that rule. Direct name calling means ‘you will be in deep shit if you continue’ or ‘your stupid is stopping right now’.
“Hai, hai.”
“What conditions, Killua?” his father inquired.
He took a deep breath before saying, “one, I will not stay here even after I became your official successor. And no amount of bribing or convincing or threatening will make me change that condition.” He breathes deep again before continuing. “That brings me to my second condition. I am now with Gon. I’m making this clear, right here right now. My second condition is that, no one from the family, directly or indirectly, is allowed to lay a finger on him or on anything he’s related with. No threatening. No blackmailing. No funny businesses.” He looks seriously to his father’s eyes as he proceeds. “Whatever anyone in the family do that will in anyway affects him, I will take it personally.”
There’s an existing rule in the family that no one’s allowed to break or even bend: hurting or fighting is strictly forbidden among family members. And by declaring Gon as such, Killua had effectively put a sort of metaphorical barrier around him. They can’t touch Gon. They won’t, and Killua will make sure of that. Not that Gon needed that but still… he knew his family and what they can do. He’ll not risk something this precious and delicate to that.
“And he’s Gon Freecss by the way.”
That earned him a raised brow from his Grandfather, a thoughtful look from his father, and a proud yet teary sniffling from his mother. His brothers all look like they couldn’t care less for the situation while Alluka is giving him and Gon a small smile.
Heavy silence.
He can feel his sweat running down on his back and on the side of his neck. He’s reminded that the tux was stiff despite proving to be the most comfortable out of all the ones he’d worn before.
“Well that can be arranged,” his father slowly said “as for Milluki’s concern, I think it’s way too early to assume things will… be permanent, you see.”
Killua mentally groans.
‘Of course, his father is rooting for them to break up. Wouldn’t that be awfully convenient?’
“Uhmm, pardon my intrusion. Uhhm, good evening everyone, I think.” Gon said a bit breathless but firm. “I know I don’t have any rights to intrude in such family matters but I just want to clear some things out.” He then looks at Killua then back to the people in the table.
“I know you’re all hoping that we would separate our ways sooner or later, and I’m sorry to say this but if it’s only for me, I wouldn’t leave Killua for whatever reason. I don’t really care about his inheritance, I’m not with him because of that. I didn’t even know he’s part of this family when we started to hang out back then. I just genuinely want to be with him. I want to share with him everything, from my dreams to my discoveries. I even want to share with him every waking hour of my life. I know that sound quite absurd, but I’m not gonna back down about that.”
Heavy sigh.
“As for his heir, I’m sure there’s a lot of ways to fulfil that without us needing to break up. Medical advances are changing lives these days, and since we’re almost on the same planes of medical advances, I know that you have an idea of what I’m trying to say. But,” he then looked at Killua with tad bit of sadness in his eyes, “of course if Killua wants a more traditional way of doing things and stuff I wouldn’t stop him.” he then shrugs. “As long as you’re happy, you know.”
“And if you can’t take him for what he is right now, then by all means please fuck off.”
Big fat ugly tense silence.
“Gon!” he hisses as he hit him for the nth time that night in the arms. What he said is very heart warming and embarrassing but telling his oversensitive family to please fuck off is quite… unexpected.
“Killua that hurts!” he said massaging his abused arms. “I’m just saying the truth! If they don’t want you, then fine. I want you so you can just stay with me!”
Killua splutters again because he’s sure that they’re doomed. His father would be spitting fire.
Then a merry and booming laughter broke down the tense atmosphere.
It was coming from his grandfather.
Soon enough his father is laughing too while the others are snickering around the table.
That effectively ruined the tense atmosphere.
“Oh, Killua, he’s interesting.” Zeno chuckles as he drinks from his wine glass. “Did you hear that, Silva? He said ‘please fuck off’!”
“Yes, father.” His father answered as the corners of his lips turns a bit upwards. A first for the whole night.
Oh shit, was that interest in his father’s eyes?
“So, Gon-kun… what do you do? Killua seems to forget his manners when it comes to introducing others.” Zeno asks. It was visible how interested he was to know about it.
Well, this is the first time someone cursed them outright so he can’t really blame them for being curious.
“I’m his Grandfather, Zeno. Just call me whatever you want to.” he said with a smile.
And Killua can finally breathe.
“Oh. OH! I’m Gon Freecss, Zeno-san. I’m actually a marine biologist. Together with my team, we try to discover new species of marine creatures.”
With that, everyone resumes eating.
“That sounds interesting.” His father said, eyes still directed at Gon but now it is filled with interest. “Any major discoveries recently?”
“Oh yes! Just yesterday we’ve managed to get acknowledged four new species of fishes. We’ve been diving in that area for weeks now and discovered plethora of new species of corals and fishes too. Unfortunately though, only four were acknowledge yesterday. The others are still being verified.”
Everything seems to be fine now. He can see his family getting entertained with Gon’s adventures under the sea. Even Illumi is raising his brows in interest.
The night proceeded with less tension and more of loud laughter and excited voice. The table, previously filled with dense tension and palpable heat is now filled with stories and fun facts and Killua couldn’t ask for a lovelier dinner.
He’s staring at Gon for the nth time that night because it seems that everything that that boy—man, did is like magic and he glows brighter in each action he do.
All he can do is to smile and utter a breathless, “yeah” when Alluka came close to his side and whispered, “It’s alright now ne, Onii-chan?”
She gives him a sweet smile that makes his night even better, a little bit more blissful, a little bit finer.
Gon smiles at him and fuck it all. He wants to kiss him so bad. Because it’s fine. They’re fine. Big issues are still looming behind them but right now, the universe seems to conspire to make this night memorable, to make Gon glow like that and make him fall even deeper.
“Yeah. It’s alright now.”
-----------------
Hours after dinner found Gon in front of the fireplace seating cross-legged on the floor resting his back on a sofa chair as he sips a cup of coffee.
For a moment, goosebumps raised from his arms as the cool breeze from the window touches his skin.
One thing he noticed about the Zoldyck mansion is that, wherever he goes it’s always a bit chilly. Even in the dining hall earlier where lots of candles are lit, he still felt the icy bite of winter. It was past midnight and he knew staying up this late is not good if he wants to drive tomorrow. Killua and him are expected to come with Kite and his team in exploring their next target location tomorrow afternoon. The beach is a couple of miles away from where they are right now and would take hours of driving. He can already feel the fatigue this net project promises to give them. That’s why he really needs to sleep but sleep seems to be too busy to visit him this night. Or maybe it’s just because he misses Killua in his arms whenever he sleeps.
“Kil, show our guest his room in the second floor.”
Silva-san said after they’ve finished talking and dining.
Gon immediately knew what that meant. No sleeping together with Killua under the Zoldycks’ roof.
“That sucks.” Killua quips as he lay on the bed where Gon will sleep for the night.
“Yeah. But we don’t want them to get offended or anything even if we only really meant to sleep.” Gon said as he changes his clothes. Thank goodness they brought some change of clothes.
“That… is correct.” Killua then stood up and walks up to him. “It still sucks though.”
“Yeah.” Gon sighs.
“I’ll be going now. Don’t want them to check up on us. That’ll be weird.” Killua then proceeded to kiss him on the cheeks and sprints to the door. “Good night!”
“Good night, Killua!”
He was a bit disappointed by that turn of events but disregarding that, he can say that the dinner went as well as it could be.
From the moment Killua told him the story about his family and how he left home years ago, he already knew that this is inevitable, that meeting the Zoldycks are just a matter of when and how.
He knew, despite Killua’s indifference about his family and his relationship with them, he knew that they still matter greatly to him. They might be overbearing and quite obsessed with the business world, but they are still the only family that he has. So he doesn’t want to ruin this for Killua.
“Gon?” a sleepy mumble whispers in the dark.
It was Killua.
“Hey.”
Yawn.
“Hey. Everything okay?” Killua asks hoarsely as he sits beside Gon. He rests his back at the latter’s sides and lean his head on his shoulder. His legs are bent and held close to his chest by his arms.
“Yeah. All’s fine.” Gon answered as he tried to accommodate the other on the soft cushion he was sitting at.
“Hmmm. Can’t sleep then?”
Gon nods.
“Worried about something?” Killua then inquired softly. Gon can still hear sleep lace in every word.
“No… not really.” Gon answered after a while then, “Actually, Killua?”
“Yeah?” he can feel the slow shifting of Killua’s weight; he’s slowly succumbing to sleep again.
“Zeno-san told me something.”
Hearing that automatically wakes the other up. The only indication that he’s sleepy is visible on his eyes, they were alert yet puffy. Gon didn’t miss the tensing of Killua’s back and he somehow regrets telling him because really, it wasn’t serious or bad. Maybe.
“Oh? What did he say?”
“Nothing serious, really. Relax.” He smiles.
Killua then sighs heavily. “Okay… so? What did the old man told you?”
“He said that I somehow remind him of your grandmother.”
“Oh.”
“Is that a good ‘oh’ or a bad ‘oh’?”
Killua chuckles then wiggles and re-arranges his limbs to be able to lay down on the floor and rests his head on Gon’s thighs.
“I don’t know… maybe, both?” Killua said as he stares at Gon’s eyes. “What did he say exactly?”
Their new position gave Gon the chance to stare into Killua’s beautiful eyes and play with his soft locks. Everytime Killua do this, he’s reminded how amazing Killua can look and how angelic he really is without trying.
He is so beautiful.
“Gon…”
Frown.
Gon smiles a little seeing the slight twisting of the fair brows. “He just said that my boldness and love for adventure is just like hers then. That’s it.”
It wasn’t everything that Zeno-san had said but he decided that Killua doesn’t need to know that now.
“Ehh.. hmm, honestly I don’t remember her that much. Just vague memories here and there. All I can clearly remember is her brown eyes and loud laughter.” Killua said looking straight into his eyes. “Come to think of it, you have the same shade of brown that she has.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. Maybe that’s why.”
Gon just hums as he remembers the exact words Zeno-san had said.
“So you and Killua, eh?”
“Yes… uhhm, I hope you don’t mind.”
“Mind? Oh not at all. In fact I can clearly see the appeal to his choice.”
Knowing eyes gazes at him.
“You really remind me of my late wife, you know. Especially when you told us that earlier.” He chuckles. “I’m sure she’ll agree with you on that, boy.” He then looks outside the terrace where they are staying. “You remind me of life and her vigor to travel… I surmise it that you’re not afraid to travel a lot and dive to deeper seas, eh?”
Gon shakes his head a little.
“I’m not really surprise. Yours and hers are souls which belong to the wild, those which needs to be free.”
Minutes passed between them but no one say anything. Chilly air caresses them as if serenading them and reminding that it’s almost time for spring, for new life, for greener days again.
“You’re both good and bad for him, you know.” Zeno-san said as he stares at him again.
“You give him life now, adventure, and fun times. You provide him something that this family can’t—and that’s good. He deserves that. But someday…” he sighs “someday there will be an adventure bigger than you are… stronger… fiercer.”
Someday, there will be something that will keep you away from him. And that, that’s what will kill him in the long run.”
Strong wind blows. He can feel the icy wisps of winter seeps inside his tux.
“Try not to die before him, boy. With that kind of spark in his eyes, he’ll be hollowed when you do.”
Zeno-san then slowly walked out from him.
Words slowly envelopes his mind and tweaks his mind for the implications behind each.
“Oh, and Gon-kun?”
“Yes, Zeno-san?”
“If you will ever need any kind of assistance for your projects, just give me a call.”
“I think you might have noticed this already but, we’re not really that close with each other, you know.”
Killua started and he nods, because he did notice that too. Aside from Alluka and sometimes Nanika if she’s not feeling shy, he doesn’t think anyone else in the family will be willing to hug people for the sake of hugging. Killua doesn’t count, of course.
“But based from Tsubone’s stories, apparently my Grandma was always so affectionate with everyone. Tsubone said that she always love to carry me before because I really looked like Grandpa and my Dad. Aside from that, I don’t remember anyone else mentioning her.”
Gon massages Killua’s scalp and he’s two scratches away from making Killua purr.
“How did she, uhhm, passed away?”
“Accident. She’s on her flight back when their plane passes through a nasty lightning storm and yeah, that’s what I remember. People avoid talking about it I guess. Because it made Grandpa sad… I think? Anyway. That’s that.”
‘Oh.’
“…he’ll be hollowed when do.”
Well, now that makes perfect sense.
“Ahh.”
Was all he managed to answer because frankly, he doesn’t know how to process all that. Looking at Killua trying to find the most comfortable position for him on the carpet using him as pillow though, he realizes that he doesn’t want Killua to experience the hollow yet sad tone in Zeno-san’s voice when he told Gon to not die early.
He knew the extent of Killua’s feelings for him of course. He must be blind if he can’t see that.
And it’s not like his feelings for the other is any better.
Killua’s affection might look unsure but his devotion, loyalty and love, are there, from the first day that they’ve met until now. It’s scary how strong emotions like those reside with Killua’s every touch, every word uttered… but Gon’s a very selfish man and he craves that. He basks in that kind of love. However, he only reciprocates what was given to him. He might be bull-headed but he’s definitely sure that what he feels for the other is not something fleeting. It never was. From the moment they made friends up to now, what he felt for Killua never lessens. In fact it even evolved and developed and surrounded him just like a warm blanket during cold and trying seasons. He still feel that ache to always be near him and experience everything together, both nice and not, both good and bad… as long as he’s with Killua, he’s willing to do anything, he’s braver.
With that in mind, he thought that he wouldn’t want to lose this. He won’t lose Killua for anything.
Moments passed while the two of them share a companionable silence, both absorbing and reflecting things that had happened that night.
“Killua?”
“Hnn?”
“Is it hot in here or is it just you?”
Silence.
Killua rolls a little and buries his face in Gon’s shirt-clad stomach. He’s shaking… from laughing.
“For kami’s sake! Gon that is so lame!” he said grasping tightly on the latter’s shirt laughing quietly.
“Well, that’s because I love you like a pig loves not being bacon.” He answered as he continues to play with Killua’s messy locks.
That earned him another round of laughter.
“You shouldn’t laugh like that Killua. That’s rude!” Gon mock-scolded him. “I’m saying something of importance you know.”
Killua just laughs more and buries his face deeper of his stomach. Breathing deep and inhaling his scent. Killua must be smiling, really smiling, because he can feel his smile on his tummy. It made the butterflies swirl even more inside him.
“Hey, Killua.”
No response.
“Killuaaa”
“Yeah?”
“You’re missing something,”
He peeks a little from his sanctuary, “what?”
“Me.”
Another peal of laughter erupted from Killua’s soft lips and he’s in love.
Killua then decided to face him again. “You. Are. So. Horrible.” Every word was punctuated by a jab in Gon’s chest.
“Sorry, I can’t hold on… I’ve already fallen for you.” Gon said quietly, staring straight in his eyes.
Killua still laughs despite the blush now coloring his cheeks. From embarrassment or shame, he doesn’t know. But he’s willing to stay just like this. Blissful and nice. Warm, too.
He stretches his hands and caresses the hair on Gon’s nape.
“Gon…”
“Hmm?”
He bites his lower lip and Gon just died.
Killua just have that effect on him. One action from this moon boy and he becames a poet, a madman, a foolish, foolish man too deep in love.
“my lips won’t just kiss themselves, you know?”
Gon laughs as he lowers his lips towards Killua’s.
“Yeah… yes, indeed.”
-----------------
“That looks disgusting. And quite… uncomfortable.” A wondering voice said as he witnesses his brother, his most beloved brother, be kissed by a man he still considers as a stranger. He’s not bad, true, but still…
“Psssh. Illumi-nii, that’s what others consider sweet!” Alluka giggles.
They can clearly hear the soft peals of laughter coming from Killua and both agree (one openly while the other is quite so secretive about it) that it sounds nice. Better than the deafening silence that nights inside the mansion usually offer.
“Oni-chan is really lucky to find love.” Alluka sighs happily. Smile showing on her face as she witnesses something beautiful that night.
“Love, huh?” he ponders as he tilts his head to the right a little.
Even after Alluka and he left the two in the fireplace, he still can’t erase the image of his baby brother and his boyfriend (he never thought that he’ll learn to dislike that word even more than the word marketing) laughing and kissing on his mind.
He doesn’t see the appeal in kissing… or in being intimate with anyone really, but seeing his baby brother happy and quite literally bouncing after he met that boy, he wonders… and wonders.
Illumi wonders into the night and through it, that if it can make his baby brother, his Killua be as blissful as that….
…perhaps, love is not so bad after all?
=end=