Work Text:
There's bits of childhood sprinkled throughout the worn wooden floors, in the scuffed markings on the appliances and even in the sharp corners of these lived in walls. Mira and Zoey tagged alongside Rumi on this particular visit to Celine, both girls needed to have conversations with their mentor.
The visit ended quickly, going better then Mira had expected from the war-torn woman. Now she's roaming the halls that her best friend grew up in, and later the place all three trained in, both as idols and as hunters together. Celine and Rumi left, most likely visiting Rumi's mother. Neither girl wanted to intrude on such a private moment and instead searched for other ways to keep busy.
Mira knows her way around the compound well, but its been months since she's came by. She takes light steps around each room, lost in the memories that these stone walls carried. Her hands twitch lightly, and her eyebrows tense as her eyes bounce between every forgotten detail.
She needed to let off some steam after that difficult talk, moving around helps her sort out any conflicted feelings she still holds. An old habit of hers from youth, something she developed after one too many fights with her mother; she needed to run or dance, and later on spar to rid of all the restless energy inside her body, of which she currently had plenty.
She's been a little on edge ever since Rumi's secret was revealed in such a sudden manner at the idol awards, and while she holds no ill feelings towards Rumi, she does feel hesitant towards their mentor for lying to her for as long as she's known her. Why couldn't Celine trust her, or Zoey?
Deep down she knows she constantly strives to prove herself to those around her, to her parents, to Celine, to her fans, and even though she knows that she doesn't need such approval, this level of betrayal almost breaks her.
Trust was something she held onto tightly, it's what she lost with her parents and thought she gained with Celine. Although the woman has caused so much damage to Rumi, and by extention to her, she finds herself unable to simply despise her idol. Celine was the one to save her from the depths of hurt that her parents pushed onto her. She was the one to give Mira a purpose, the confidence to stand on her own. She even gave Mira a new family in Huntrix.
Despite that, however, Celine had still been the center of Rumi's shame; she taught them to hid their fears, to not let anxieties show no matter what.
What gets to Mira the most is that she knows exactly why Celine held onto those rigid beliefs, having experienced first hand what Gwi Ma can do when he latches onto those feelings.
Wryly, she wonders if Gwi Ma ever whispered those horrid thoughts into Celine's mind. Would she have been able to hold onto her humanity had she been in her mentor's shoes? She has no answer that her satisfies her mind. She chose instead to head off towards the living room.
Zoey follows her quickened steps, not wanting to leave Mira alone, and the two look through the home that raised their best friend.
Celine's residence is warm, in earth tones and yellow lights, matching the outdoor sanctuary that formed Mira's late teenage years. She recalls the night spent gathered on soft couches, team bonding Celine had called it, as they played board games and picked out movies. She thinks of the way Celine did each of the girls' hair before bed, a ritual that existed before she, and later, Zoey arrived. It was easy to blend into the lifestyle, despite training being tougher than anything she'd live through, Celine made it bearable.
There's potted plants in every corner and elegantly painted artworks hung about the walls, but a few paces over, covering the refrigerator's door, are colorful, haphazardly done drawings signed by a kid Rumi. In the center of them is two pairs of handprints, a larger pair painted light blue surrounds the chubby toddler's bright pink. These weren't here during the time of Mira and Zoey's stay, and neither were they there a few months ago. It must of been a recent addition.
Mira continues into the dining room, the place where most of their shared meals have been, all of which were prepared by the hands of the woman who taught them how to hold their weapons, how to clean their wounds, how to control their breathing and even how to stand bravely in the face of adversity.
Mira spots an old stain in the rug underneath the oak table. The years have worn its way into the material so it's impossible to tell what it might of been, but its there she thinks of a memory that doesn't belong to her. Of a young Rumi playing underneath, spilling whatever paint she was using onto the once pristine surface. She thinks of Celine finding the girl, covered in its pigments, she considers what the woman would've done. Celine was never harsh with them, she was stern and disciplined, but never cruel, so she imagines the heavy sigh that escapes her mentor, the hands that gently clean Rumi, imagines her getting on her knees to scrub the surface that still clings to the lingering dyes. She sees the life that is in the home of her best friend, the love that fostered her, even if it caused so much emotional harm.
Mira's thoughts shift into a memory of her own, it's of the day after the idol awards and she remembers Rumi's face as she explained her heritage, she saw the way her eyes became glossy with unshed tears, how her shoulders hunched inward and how Rumi seemed to make herself smaller, as if she were afraid to take up any space. Mira remembers then, how her own feelings turned to disgust toward the woman that taught her everything, and once again she is torn. Torn between her duty that is inherently woven into her friendship and the respect she still holds for her idol.
Zoey gets her out of her thoughts with a hand on her back and guides them through the entrance that lead to the bedrooms. Celine's home is larger than what one woman and child might need, and before Mira and Zoey, most of the rooms were barely touched. What was once private studies and storage rooms turned into living spaces for the newly added girls.
The corridor along the way shows snapshots of Rumi growing up. The oldest is of baby Rumi, perhaps a few months old swaddled in a fuzzy blanket. Mira looks through the portraits, sealing those moments, forever unmoving. There's all the stages of Rumi's life, many of which were from various award shows that Celine and the girl attended, up until adulthood. The latest being of Huntrix at their fourth idol awards. In the photos with Celine, the woman wears the same small smile, the one that never quite reaches her eyes. Zoey points out her favourite, it's of a young Rumi, no older than five, being held in Celine's arms, neither are looking at the camera, but Rumi's toothy smile is genuine. It's the most unfiltered picture of the bunch, but even then it holds the polished look that the others have.
On the way to the bedrooms, she sees the main shared bath, its cold light still flickering the way it did those years ago. Another echo of the past bombards her, it's of the first injury she received during training. Mira was the last to learn how to pull her weapon from the honmoon's glow. She recalls getting frustrated at how easily Zoey was able to do it, even though both started this aspect of training at the same time. Celine had dismissed them for the evening already, ordering them to wash up, but she had to prove that she could do it. The sunset bled over the horizon, its last rays illuminating her surroundings. She remembers feeling the honmoon's embrace, how at last she felt the pull of her soul as the Gok-Do formed in her grip. She admits, she was overzealous and tried to twirl the weapon around her. The sharp blade easily slashed into her arm, and while it wasn't particularly deep, blood continued to drip out, seeping through her rudimentary, quickly placed bandages.
Mira tried hiding the wound, she couldn't let herself be the first one injured. Celine had called them for dinner and she pulled on the first sweater she saw. She thought she could get away with it, had it not been for the spot of red peaking through the gap of her sleeve. She counted herself lucky that neither Rumi nor Zoey came down yet. Celine almost looked panicked, had it not been for the fact that she was well versed in injuries.
She recalls how Celine marched her into the washroom and pulled her sleeve up to reveal the gash that followed the curve of her arm. She remembers how the woman's grip wasn't painful, it was firm and steady as Celine inspected its length. She told Mira that the disinfectant would sting in a soft voice, unlike any tone that was ever directed towards her. She expected her mentor to be angry for disobeying her instructions, she hadn't expected the gentleness and anchoring presence that came from Celine. Her eyes had never left Mira that night.
The two are in front of the bedrooms by now but neither are interested in the ones they've stayed in. Instead the girls stand in front of Rumi's old room. It's also not the first time either have been in there, but they've never entered without Rumi being present. Their friend had already given them permission to look through it but even so, Zoey's hand hesitates on the doorknob. Mira pushes through, wanting to uncover all of Rumi's life that she wasnt present for.
The bed is the same as Mira remembered, and so are all the pillows. Even the teddy bears that Rumi didn't take to the penthouse are lined neatly onto the folded, clean sheets. There's no indication of dust which surprises Mira. she knew Celine likes order, but didn't expect the now vacant room to be as spotless as it is.
Zoey lingers near the desk, and is now staring at something on the bookshelf next to it. Mira moves to see what captivated the younger's attention, and found post it notes that were once blocked by books stuck to the inside of the wooden surface. The notes are all random, few show Rumi's jumbled lyrics, some of which have made its way into their debut song, there's some of reminders and others having Rumi's own convictions about the patterns on her skin. There's one in particular that breaks Mira's heart, saying that the patterns make her unlovable just like the demons that Celine taught her to kill. Something else catches her eye, there's another sticky note underneath that one, with only its edge visible. Mira lifts it and knows its from Celine, there's no context to it, but it whispers an apology and a promise: I'm sorry, I love you.
Those words tug painfully at her chest, she knows very well what it's like to have an unstable relationship with her parents, but unlike Rumi, she no longer wishes to speak to her own. Celine became the only postive adult in her life, and after the revelations at the idol awards, Mira though she lost the last parental figure she had. She gave herself an ultimatum, and if Celine didn't explain herself properly, she was going to cut her out completely.
That quickly went out the window when she saw the grief wracking the older woman's face, it was as though she aged a whole decade in two weeks. Celine, who repeated that mantra that their faults and fears must never be seen, like it was scripture, was now openly revealing all her worries to them. Celine, who stood with all the grace and dignity that comes with being a senior idol, now bowing low to her students. This stubborn, unmoving woman that Mira knew was genuinely broken by what she had done and her apology was more than what Mira's parents ever gave her.
A knock on the doorway pulls Mira from her spiraling thoughts. Rumi and Celine are back from their outing, but she wasnt sure how long the two were standing there. Celine breaks the silence and offers something that for years, Mira would have never expect, she asks if she and Zoey would like to see her room. Zoey doesn't hesitate this time, and quickly follows their mentor across the hall. Mira moves in a daze as Rumi intertwines a gentle hand in hers, and together they enter.
It's remarkably untidy, at least for Celine. there's loose papers stacked in various parts of the room, clothes, although folded, sit atop the bed, with heels and makeup piled in a corner next to the floor length mirror. Zoey takes the lead and heads over to the line of markings on the wall adjacent to the bed. On closer inspection, it's of Rumi's growth over the years, each dated with Celine's neat handwriting, with the last one ending at Rumi's eighteenth birthday. Rumi's hand leaves her own, as her friend measures herself once more at Zoey's request.
What surprises Mira the most about this room, however, is the pictures that are displayed. Unlike the ones in the corridors, these seem to be of genuine moments capturing Celine's life. There's pictures of her days as a Sunlight Sister, arms wrapping around her members freely. There's of infant Rumi taking unbalanced steps towards the camera, which is stooped low at the girl's eye level. Another shows an adolescent Rumi sitting atop Celine's shoulders, her fingers dig into the older's scalp, but both show reckless smiles.
The one Mira marvels at, though, shows her mentor with a sleeping Rumi, whose cheek is pressed into her shoulder, Celine is the most relaxed she has ever seen her be. Mira is amazed at how real those expressions are, the way these smiles finally reaches Celine's eyes, and how unfiltered her mentor's appearance is. She has seen many sides of Celine from the time she spent with her, but never before has this once untouchable woman seemed so alive. It's as if all the best of Celine was tucked away in a dark corner, hidden from the world and even from those who knew her the most.
Mira tries again to imagine how Celine would've raised Rumi. She thinks of all the sleepless nights waking with a half demon baby, of the days spent bandaging scrapes on smaller limbs, of teaching Rumi that she is different from her peers, and she wonders again how much differently she would have done if it were her in that position. If she had a daughter like Rumi, would she be able to accept her as she was? Or would she have killed the demon before it manifested.
Zoey and Rumi are discussing something she's unaware of, and Mira is thankful that neither are watching her, even as her breath quickens and her hands start to tremble. Celine notices, of course she notices, and silently rests a calloused palm on her tense shoulder. No words need to be said between them.
There is something about seeing so much life and love woven into this home that overwhelms Mira. She thinks she understands both her mentor and best friend better now. The relationship between them is not something that can be broken as easily as hers did with her parents. It was forged not only by duty, but by sacrifice, by hope that Rumi could do all that the Sunlight Sisters couldn't accomplish. She can hold no hatred towards this woman, she knows the love Celine held was misguided, she understands that Celine cannot undo her mistakes, so she hopes that her mentor tries to be better, not only for Rumi, but for herself.