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♡ “i love you,” you were warm and content from dinner, and the words slipped from your mouth and over his counter before you could stop them.
not because there was any doubt in your mind- there wasn’t, at this point, you knew you loved him like you knew the sky was blue- but because you were afraid of how much doubt was in his.
but maybe that was why you said it.
the doubt in his eyes now, wide and almost fearful as he stared at you, felt like a punch in the gut.
“is that okay?” you asked over the sound of the forgotten faucet and steady drip drip drip off of the scrub brush frozen in his hand.
“you shouldn’t.” he croaked it out, voice scratchy and weak, viciously tearing his gaze down from your eyes.
you opened your mouth, protests on the tip of your tongue, but he only shook his head.
“please. just… not tonight.”
♡ you found him on your balcony, leaning against the railing and staring at the horizon.
the sunset painted the sky pink and purple and red, vivid colors washing over him and catching in his hair and highlighting the scars visible around his t-shirt.
“whatcha need?” he asked gently, acknowledging your presence without looking back.
“you.” it was the truth, even if you said it with a playful grin. he healed something in your chest, soothed every break and wound on your heart, quieted the noise in your mind.
a small huff of laughter escaped him, floating into the evening air, as pink and warm and beautiful as the sky. “you have me.”
“good.” you dropped your head against the doorframe, letting your features relax into a gooey, affectionate smile as you watched his hair shift in the breeze. “love you.”
he tensed for a few moments, and you took a deep, silent breath to push your own nerves back down.
it was hard.
a not-so-small part of you hissed that you would scare him off, chase him away by admitting the depth of your feelings again. that despite him being by your side through thick and thin, your love of all things might be the final straw.
he did push back from the railing, sending your heart plummeting into your stomach.
but instead of brushing past you and walking out the door, his hands found your shoulder and your hip and delicately, slowly, cautiously pulled you to his chest.
when you almost immediately melted against him and tucked your chin into his shoulder, his arms slid around your back and held you as close as possible. held you as though you were the most important thing in the world.
he couldn’t say it yet, but maybe this was his way of saying it anyway.
♡ “i’m heading out, jase.” you leaned over the back of the couch to kiss his cheek. “be good, okay? love you.”
he hummed, eyes trained carefully on the tv. “just be safe. and don’t forget you’re out of pickles.”
♡ it had been a very, very long day.
you were very, very tired.
and, as shuffling into a freshly cleaned apartment that smelled like your favorite meal reminded you, very, very attached to jason todd.
you stood silently for a moment, taking note of what all had been swept or dusted or vacuumed, how the blanket you’d left haphazardly on the couch was now folded neatly, and the old lopsided chair you kept meaning to fix was now sitting at attention.
just- seriously, this man was going to be the death of you.
you set your stuff in the corner by the door, neatly kicked your shoes off against the wall, and followed your nose into the kitchen.
his back was to you. he was swaying gently to the jazz playing in the background, hands busy in front of him, and he looked relaxed and happy and the domesticity- the simplicity- of it all was enough to make tears prick at your eyes.
(maybe the ache in your head and feet and- well, okay, all of you- had something to do with that, but he was much nicer to think about.)
“the chair, huh?” you greatly enjoyed the way his motion stuttered for the briefest of moments at the sound of your voice. “you get sick of looking at it?”
he turned to face you, his brow furrowed and cheeks dusted with pink. “i- maybe. maybe a little.”
“dinner, too, huh? what’d you do, break something?”
“what? no, i didn’t- i’m just-” he stopped, eyes narrowing at you. “you’re messing with me.”
“maybe. maybe a little.”
he groaned, turning back to the counter and grumbling playfully. “i try to be nice and this is the thanks i get.”
you chuckled, moving forward to slip your arms around his torso and lean into his back. “sorry, sorry.”
“no no, by all means, keep making fun of me. i know it’s your favorite hobby.”
“i’d make fun of you less if you weren’t so cute when you get all pouty about it, y'know.”
“i do not get all-” another groan escaped him, and he dropped his head forward into his hands. “would you please just go get into some pajamas so we can eat? stop trying to give me a migraine?”
your laughter was muffled slightly by his t-shirt. “fine.” you reluctantly pulled away from the most comfortable moment of your entire day and headed towards the doorway, pausing for a moment just inside of it. “hey, jay?”
he dragged his hands down his face dramatically, looking over his fingers at you. “hm?”
“i love you too.”
the soft smile he gave you was worth every single minute of frustration and exhaustion that had led up to it. “yeah, yeah, get out of my kitchen already.”
“it’s my apartment-”
“gooooo.”
♡ your bathroom was bright, cold, and smelled like hydrogen peroxide and blood.
his blood, mostly, but you really didn’t think he’d take well to being asked for details just yet.
plus, you weren’t totally sure you wanted to know.
regardless of where it came from, the truth was the red liquid had soaked through his shirt and coated his gloves and you were pretty sure some had gotten on your cheek, somehow, before you’d managed to get him cleaned up and bandaged.
now, he rested on the edge of the wet tub and let you gently work a towel through his freshly washed hair that smelled like your shampoo.
you could feel his eyes on you as you stepped back to grab a comb.
“hey, baby?”
stepping back into his space, you hummed in acknowledgement.
“i…” he cleared his throat, inhaling sharply. “i love you.”
you froze, eyes snapping down to find his trained carefully on the ground in between the two of you.
you could see the tension in his jaw and shoulders, the way his hands were gripping the wall of the tub. the way he was avoiding your gaze like it would burn him.
“i love you too.” you knelt down in front of him, fingers tracing his cheek and jaw and falling to where his neck met his shoulder, gently hovering over his pulse. “you know you don’t have to say it, right?”
he nodded sharply, slowly softening under your touch. finally meeting your eyes. “i want to. you deserve to hear it. you deserve a lot more than that.”
“you deserve to be comfortable, jason.”
a small heh escaped him. “i don’t know if i deserve it, but if there’s one thing you do, it’s make me comfortable.”
“good. that’s more important to me than hearing you say a few words, okay?”
“okay.” he leaned forwards, dropping his forehead against yours and wrapping his fingers around your wrist, cradling it against his collarbone. “as long as you… as long as you know.”
“i know, handsome, i promise.”