Chapter Text
I never thought I would find myself back in New York. After the few years I stayed in California, we settled. But here I am, sitting in the back seat of my Abuela's car next to my twin sister Cora, moving away from our papa. After my mom passed away from heart disease my father fell into a deep depression. It was already difficult dealing with grief, disbelief, sorrow and so many compiling emotions. But seeing my dad lose himself made those emotions intensify. He couldn't do anything but stay inside and waste his life away. I watched him lose his job, struggle with money, almost get us evicted and neglect me and my sister. Papa made the hard decision to send us to live with our Abuela while he works on healing. I haven't stepped foot in New York since I was about 13 years old. We moved out of this small town expecting bigger and better opportunities for our future. Now I'm back and already home sick. The car ride was silent and overall awkward. Me and Cora don't talk much despite being twins. Not to mention not seeing Abuela in 4 almost 5 years.
I never thought I would find myself back in New York. After the few years I stayed in California, we settled. But here I am, sitting in the back seat of my Abuela's car next to my twin sister Cora, moving away from our papa. After my mom passed away from heart disease my father fell into a deep depression. It was already difficult dealing with grief, disbelief, sorrow and so many compiling emotions. But seeing my dad lose himself made those emotions intensify. He couldn't do anything but stay inside and waste his life away. I watched him lose his job, struggle with money, almost get us evicted and neglect me and my sister. Papa made the hard decision to send us to live with our Abuela while he works on healing. I haven't stepped foot in New York since I was about 13 years old. We moved out of this small town expecting bigger and better opportunities for our future. Now I'm back and already home sick. The car ride was silent and overall awkward. Me and Cora don't talk much despite being twins. Not to mention not seeing Abuela in 4 almost 5 years.
Abuela: I hope you two find some excitement in coming back to New York.
She tried to break the silence but I didn't know how to respond without being negative and making the current situation more awkward. Luckily Cora responded. I wish I knew what to say. I just looked out the window and ignored the conversation, drowning it out with music. Once we arrived at Abuela's house, she led me to a room.
Abuela: Here's your room hijo!
River: Gracias, Abuela.
She held me tightly in an embrace. Tears came falling out of my eyes. Her tight warm hug reminded me of mom.
Abuela: it's all going to turn out, don't you worry a bit, hijo!
River: I miss mama.
Abuela: I know you do sweetie, she would hate to see you cry.
That was true, it broke her when me or Cora cried. She was a pure hearted woman and went through lengths for my happiness. After a few deep breaths I stopped crying, Abuela let go of our embrace.
Abuela: I'm sorry it's a little quick but you start your new school tomorrow.
River: It's something to look forward to.
Abuela: That's my boy! You'll have to tell me about all the friends you make.
Oh shit that's right, new friends. Hearing that already made me start missing my soccer team all the way in California.
River: I'll tell you all about it Abuela.
Abuela: I can't wait! Dinner will be done shortly, hijo.
I nodded, watching her leave my new barren room, immediately after she left I plopped on my new bed. I didn't want to eat all I wanted was alone time to think and process the current changes. Soon the thinking turned into me silently crying myself to sleep.
The next morning me and Cora walked to our new school to meet some students to tour us. Surprisingly the school was bigger than I imagined, judging from the small town. Glancing around the campus I felt overwhelmed. There were so many changes and overall differences between this school and my last. I turned over to Cora then realized she was already talking to a student and beginning her tour, I took a deep breath and searched around the exterior of the school trying to find this kid who was supposed to tour me. Soon enough a fit guy about maybe 1 inch taller than me approached me.
Mateo: Guess you're River. I'm Mateo, it's great to meet you.
River: Uh... yeah I'm River.
I felt slightly intimidated meeting eyes with him. He just had a star student, popular guy, has 5 girlfriends, douche bag vibe to him.
Mateo: Well let me show you around.
I followed him silently, barely taking in any of the information he's giving me. To be honest I couldn't give a single shit. I just wanted to go back to my high school, not this stupid one. I continued to follow him until the tour finally came to an end when he handed me a uniform.
Mateo: You can put this on in the boy's locker room to your left,
River: Yeah, thanks man.
Mateo: Just curious, are you into any sports?
Why was he suddenly asking me this? Did he feel that the conversation was growing more and more awkward and attempted to make it more interesting?
River: yeah I was part of my highshool's soccer team all 3 and well a half years I attended.
Mateo seemed super excited to hear that like it was what he was hoping to hear. Seeing his eyes light up like a child somehow made me feel better about him. He seemed to keep his excitement in control however.
Mateo: I'm part of the soccer team here. We just lost a member who quit due to an injury and looking for someone to take his spot. You could take it if you'd like?
I stayed quiet trying to decide if I should or not. It was the middle of the school year so it would be weird for me to just join now, right?
Mateo: You could use some friends and it could give you a good start? What do you say?
He wasn't wrong. I could really use some friends, especially during this rough path in my life. Maybe if I joined it would distract me from the million emotions running through my head. Mateo stood there waiting for my response as I completely forgot he was even still there.
River: I mean I don't see why not.
Mateo: Great! Go ahead and change into your uniform while I get your schedule.
I looked to my left while letting out a big sigh and approached the boy's locker room door, turning the door knob and entering. As I walked in, a few boys turned their heads to me. After locking myself into an empty stall I changed in a blue and black uniform. God, why did I have to wear uniforms here? At least it wasn't too ugly I suppose. I opened the stall meeting eyes with the random boys I saw before.
???: Hey! You must be the new boy Mateo talked about.
People already know? Jeez, today is going to be so annoying, I hate being a new student.
River: Yeah.. that's me I guess.
Ignacio: It's a pleasure to meet you! I'm Ignacio, next to me is Kaleo and...uhm..
Florian: Florian, my name is Florian.
I chuckled silently to myself at Florian's annoyed expression. All these boys intimidated me the same way Mateo did. They're definitely some insufferable popular kids. Well except for Florian he seems like some loser. I was zoned out in my thoughts, probably giving them a dirty look on accident.
River: Oh uh, I'll see you guys around.
I looked away from them and made my exit.
Kaleo: I don't think he's happy about being the new kid.
Ignacio: No shit, he's super moody.
Now in my uniform, I closed the door to see Mateo again.
Mateo: You're officially a student!
River: How exciting..
He laughed at my moodiness, finding it amusing.
Mateo: Lighten up Riv! I'll be there for you to make sure everything is going swimmingly for you. Especially because you'll be on the team.
Riv? Mateo gave me the biggest, sweetest smile not aware of my strong resentment for nicknames. At least he was friendly.
River: I'm glad to have a strong start.
I tried to avoid sounding dry. Even though I didn't have much interest he still seemed kind. I felt guilty for not being as friendly to him in return.
Mateo: That's the spirit Riv! We're glad to have you! I have your schedule now, I'll show you to your first class.
I swear if I hear one more "Riv" come out of his mouth I'll seriously slap him. After complaining to myself I took the schedule out of his hand.
River: seriously...calculus first period?
Mateo laughed again as I glared at my schedule.
Mateo: I can't relate. I have it for 6th period.
River: Don't brag.
Maybe I was warming up to this guy. The two of us walked together. I listened to the brown haired boy give me some pep talk on first day junk. Mateo seemed like a good guy. I feel bad for judging him too fast. Once we reached the classroom he gave his usual big grin and waved a goodbye before heading off to his own class. The day fortunately ran by rather quickly. It was already time for lunch. To be completely utterly honest I paid no attention to Mateo's tour. I wandered around the school for way too long. Realizing I was for sure lost I looked around for someone nearby to assist me. I sighed in frustration before hearing loud music. Out of curiosity I followed the noise and slowly opened the school auditorium doors. Peeking through I saw the most gorgeous guy. He has soft looking black hair, plump dark colored lips, beautiful warm eyes I wanted to stare into. I stared at him singing into the microphone he was holding, oblivious to the three other people on the stage with him. Then I realized who he was. Ryder Aarons, an old friend from when I went to middle school in this town. He was for sure my gay awakening. I could feel my infatuation for this boy come crawling back by just looking at him and remembering our moments together. Ryder seemed quite different however. Now he has piercings, tattoos and wears eyeliner. He always enjoyed rock bands so I'm not entirely surprised. I continued to stand there, sinking into the beautiful melody coming from his voice. It was oddly attractive. Soon enough their song ended which made me slightly disappointed. Holy shit, why was all of this coming back to me. I haven't seen him in around 4 years. Ryder probably barely even remembers me. Just thinking of that made my heart sink. I truly missed him all these years. Deep in my thought I suddenly snapped out of it. Lunch, I have to head over to lunch. Now I was met back with my earlier issue. Where in the hell was the cafeteria? I noticed Ryder walking with his group in a direction. Inferring that was the way to lunch, I followed down the same path. I let out a realized sigh as I walked into the cafeteria, noticing Mateo smiling sweetly as usual and waving his hand at me. Seeing him so smiley makes me crack a smile as well even if I hate to mention it. I sat myself down at the table with Mateo and 4 other boys. Three of the boys I recognized from the locker room.
Mateo: These are some of the guys on the team. Ignacio, Kaleo and Florian said they already met you.
Mateo seemed unsure when saying Florian's name, poor guy.
Mateo: This over here is Zaire.
Zaire's: It's great to have you on the team now!
River: Oh, I look forward to it.
I'm way too awkward in these situations, please kill me.
Kaleo: Just don't ever pass the ball to Ignacio he sucks.
Ignacio: Hey dude quit telling people that. I'm one of the best players, thank you very much!
Kaleo: It's okay you don't have to try and impress the new guy.
Ignacio: I am not trying to impress anyone, asshole.
Zaire: Ignacio chill, no need to act so cool for a dude.
Kaleo: What are you gay?
Is this what my lunches are going to look like from now on? I'm already tired of it.
Ignacio: I'm not gay, I deadass have a girlfriend!
Zaire: Whatever you say sissy.
I sigh in annoyance at the current topic and disassociate myself from the conversation. I'd rather not listen to straight boys act like homosexuality is a disease all period long. I find myself glancing over at a random girl who keeps eyeballing the table I'm at. I feel like I've seen her looking at Mateo before. Maybe they're a thing? I honestly couldn't care less.
The next day rolls around. It was finally free period which I've been looking forward to. Mateo and the rest of the soccer team met at the gym. I felt nervous being the new guy at the meet up. Being the center of attention is incredibly annoying to me. Despite my moodiness, hanging out with them wasn't all that bad. There were a few, I'm guessing popular girls on the bleachers socializing with one another. I spotted the same girl from yesterday's lunch watching our group. She was isolated from the others and completely engaged in what me and the boys were doing. The girl was rather pretty, kind of reminded me of a Barbie doll. She wore her healthy blonde hair in a neat bun, her kind eyes a warm brown almost like ryders. She gave me popular, acts sweet but will gossip about you and for sure a swiftie vibes. Soon I moved my attention back to the practice game. Sweating from the exercise, I approached Mateo.
River: Can I step out and get a Gatorade from the vending machine?
Mateo: Sure Riv! Get me one too please, I'll pay you after practice.
River: Alright, what flavor?
Mateo: Blue!
I nodded then made my way to the vending machine in the hallway outside the gym. After the two Gatorades came out I turned to the blonde girl. I squealed in surprise, not realizing she was behind me.
???: You're friends with Mateo right?
She immediately asked, barely giving me time to process what was going on.
River: Uh yes? A greeting would've been nice.
Mila: Oh I'm so sorry. My name is Mila Dao!
She extended her hand out to me. For a popular girl she seemed nervous and slightly awkward.
River: River...River Vargas.
Mila nodded, giving a somewhat sweet smile.
Mila: Could you possibly...maybe give me Mateo's number.
Her soft voice became quiet when she asked. I noticed Mila avoiding eye contact as well. Was she really this nervous?
River: I'm new I don't even have his number. I'm sure you can ask him yourself.
Mila: I really can't though, I'm more confident over text.
Sounds like more of a personal issue, why should that be my problem.
River: You're some popular girl. I'm sure you can just talk to him or find his number without bothering me.
After I spoke, giving an eye roll she giggled a little.
Mila: I'm really not popular. What even gave you that idea?
I really should stop making assumptions about people. I was already painfully wrong about Mateo being an ass. Maybe I'm the ass?
River: Cut me some slack, I'm new. I'm sure you can talk to him yourself either way,
Mila: I can't though please help me. You're the only non intimidating popular guy that's friends with him.
I guess everyone is ignorant towards that Florian guy. I know for sure he isn't popular or intimidating to her.
Mila: Please, come on?
Listening to her whine made me think about it for a second. Why was I actually considering it?