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and all of this wild joy

Summary:

“Brie.” Alex wraps his hand tighter around Henry’s ankle, needing the connection to keep him steady. “Do you… do you think you want a sibling?”

“Yes,” Brie says, sounding certain. Like she’s been thinking about this for a while. “A little one. Like Aunt June and you.”

The thing is, Alex and Henry have talked about it. They both love Brie more than the entire universe, but they also would love another child. They’ve looked into adoption a few times, considered how they’d handle the process if they ever decided to go for it. There’s money saved back that they haven’t decided on a use for, but that’s always been an option.

This is the first time the idea has felt real, though.

Notes:

this is entirely self-indulgent based on an image that wouldn't leave me alone - I thought Brie's story was finished, I swear. But she wanted a sibling, and my girl gets what she wants. Shoutout to Ariel for the beta, as always <3

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

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“What do you want for lunch today, Brie and Crackers?”

Brie wrinkles her nose at Alex, mouth twisting into an expression that looks too much like Nora to be a fucking coincidence. “I don’t like that nickname.”

“You don’t?”

“I am not cheese.”

“You’re not?”

“I’m a person.”

“You are?”

Daddy.”

Gabriella.”

“You’re being a pain in the arse.” At Alex's raised brow, Brie gives him a shit-eating grin and says, “That's not technically on the list.”

Alex snorts. “Do I need to add British curse words to your list of words you can't say?”

“It’s not just British,” Brie corrects in a matter-of-fact tone, holding up her pointer finger. “Arse is also used in the United Kingdom and also other countries in the Commonwealth, like Australia and New Zealand.”

“Oh my God,” Alex groans, looking up at the ceiling. “I'm being punished for the sins of my childhood.”

Henry appears at the bottom of the stairs, his hand sliding along the small of Alex’s back as he walks into the kitchen. “What did you do as a child?”

Brie slurps milk from her spoon and says, “Aunt June says he was a menace.”

“Oh, I don't doubt it.” Henry presses his smile to Alex's mouth, tasting like fresh mint and waking Alex up almost as effectively as coffee. “Good morning, my love.”

“What about me?” Brie cries, half flopping over the back of her chair, milk moustache clinging to her upper lip. “Where’s my kiss?”

Henry grins, brushing a gentle hand over her hair before touching a kiss to her forehead. And then another, like he just can’t help it, making Brie giggle. “Good morning, my little love.”

Brie makes a disgruntled face as she sits back up straight. “One day I'll be bigger than you.”

Henry yanks her braid a little as he pulls away. “Of course you will, darling.”

“Don't pa-tro-nize me,” Brie enunciates, shoveling another bite of cereal into her mouth.

Henry's expression is a strange mix of pride and exasperation. “You'll certainly be smarter than me someday, at this rate.”

“I think I already am.”

Brie,” Alex says, gaining her attention back. “For the love of all that is holy, what do you want to take to school for your lunch today?”

Brie takes a moment to think about it, as if this decision is going to determine how her entire day goes. Her brow furrows and she reaches up, probably unconsciously, to fiddle with the ring hanging on a chain around her neck, the gift from Henry that she refused to stop wearing even when her finger outgrew it. Alex watches her while she ponders her options, seeing all the features that make up his beautiful daughter—his chocolate brown eyes, June’s deep brown hair with wild curls coming loose from her braid, his mom’s cheekbones, Nora’s cheekiness, Henry’s curiosity—and wonders when the hell she became a whole human being, a stunning and colorful kaleidoscope crafted from fragments of everyone that loves her.

Alex glances at Henry, who is also watching Brie, and wonders if he feels it, too. The awe that they’re raising this person, who is kind and sensitive and sassy, who has complex thoughts and big dreams and cares way too fucking much about what she takes with her for lunch.

Finally, Brie pushes her empty bowl away and says, “Peanut butter and jelly. But no crusts. And apple slices, but only—”

“Green ones, I know.” Alex smiles, reaching for her Frozen lunchbox. “You got it, sweetheart.”

🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

They’re watching Encanto for the millionth time when Brie brings it up.

Everyone is on the couch, Alex sitting on one side and Henry lounged across it, his feet in Alex’s lap. Brie is curled into Henry’s side, nestled between Henry’s body and the back of the couch with her chin propped on his chest. Henry’s arm is wrapped around her with his neck craned to see the TV, and Alex keeps glancing over to watch them instead of the movie—his perfect little family.

Which is why he nearly chokes on his own saliva when Brie asks, “Why don’t I have any siblings?”

“I—” Henry blinks, his surprised gaze darting over to Alex’s face. “What… er, what makes you ask?”

Brie huffs, accidentally elbowing Henry in the ribs as she sits up. “Well. Maribel has two siblings, Isabella and Luisa. And a lot of my friends at school do, too. Why don’t I?”

“It’s just…” Alex frowns, feeling blindsided as Mirabel continues to sing about destiny and miracles. “It’s not something you just decide to do, sweetheart. It’s complicated.”

“I know that,” Brie counters, huffing. “Because you’re boys, and boys can’t get pregnant, right?”

“Right. Well.” Henry clicks his tongue, head tilting side-to-side as he amends, “Not typically.”

Brie squints at him, as if she's trying to work out something behind Henry's words that goes beyond the simple sexual education she’s had up to this point. Alex knows that her inquisitive nature is going to push him to have a more complex conversation sooner rather than later, and he makes a mental note to seek out June for reinforcements.

But first, he has a more pressing issue.

“Brie.” Alex wraps his hand tighter around Henry’s ankle, needing the connection to keep him steady. “Do you… do you think you want a sibling?”

“Yes,” Brie says, sounding certain. Like she’s been thinking about this for a while. “A little one. Like Aunt June and you.”

The thing is, Alex and Henry have talked about it. They both love Brie more than the entire universe, but they also would love another child. They’ve looked into adoption a few times, considered how they’d handle the process if they ever decided to go for it. There’s money saved back that they haven’t decided on a use for, but that’s always been an option.

This is the first time the idea has felt real, though.

Alex takes a breath. “Well, if you wanted a sibling, we would have to adopt them, probably.”

“Like Papá did with me?”

“Kinda?” Alex says, meeting her curious gaze. “It would be a little different, and it takes a while to do that most of the time. It wouldn’t be something that happens right away.”

Brie takes this information into consideration with the same seriousness that she gives to her lunch options. “But we can do it?”

And that's the thing, really. They never wanted to adopt another child without knowing Brie would be okay with it. It's the last piece they needed.

Henry is smiling softly. There’s something in his eyes, a radiant and happy expression that is new and familiar all at once. Alex brushes his thumb up the slope of Henry’s foot in a gentle caress, and Henry looks at him and nods.

“Yeah,” Alex says, swallowing around the knot in his throat. “Yeah, we can do it.”

🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

They're lucky, really.

The process treats them kindly, and the agency they choose makes it almost easy. Their home is inspected, and they're deemed to have a suitable environment for another child. Nora writes them a recommendation letter that June edits before it's submitted. They get approved with no hiccups. Their profile is created and added to the system.

It's all goes so fucking smoothly that Alex should have known it couldn't be quite that easy.

The day that they get their first potential match from an expecting woman in New Jersey, Brie screams, “No!” before going into her room and slamming the door when they tell her.

Which was not the reaction they expected.

Henry frowns, meeting Alex's eyes. “Has she… ever done something like that before?”

“No, never.” Alex feels fear climb into his throat and constrict his airway as he looks down the hallway at Brie's closed door. The happy crayon drawing of the three of them pinned to the wood feels like a taunt. “You're coming with me, right?”

“Of course.” Long, warm fingers wrap around Alex's palm and squeeze gently. “Let's go figure out what's the matter with our girl.”

Brie is a lump beneath her covers when they walk in. Henry’s fingertips push into the small of Alex’s back, a steady weight that stays with him even as he takes a step forward.

Alex clears his throat. “Brie? You okay, baby girl?”

A sniffle comes from the lump. There’s a pause, another sniffle, and then: “I don’t know if I want a sibling anymore.”

“Why is that, love?” Henry asks, his touch sliding to Alex’s waist. “Can you tell us what has you so upset?”

Brie pauses for a second, and then she slowly pulls the covers away until they’re pooled in her lap and her face is free. Her hair is a tangled nest at the back of her neck, and Alex knows he’ll probably have to cut out her hair tie when this is over. There are tear stains on her cheeks, and her eyes are still wet. Alex’s heart cracks right down the middle, shattering on the floor.

Brie says, “Because… then you won’t love me the same. You’ll have to love them, too, and then… you have to love me less.”

“Oh,” Henry whispers behind Alex, soft and filled with understanding. “You’re worried about having to share our love, then?”

Brie nods, fear sharp and undeniable in her expression. She’s got Henry’s ring clasped in her fist, hard enough that the chain looks a lot flimsier than it normally does. Alex is overwhelmed with the need to fix, to take whatever hurts her and make it disappear. Henry nudges Alex forward, and Alex goes easily, settling on Brie’s bed by her side.

Alex takes a breath, holding out his arms. “Come here, Brie and crackers.”

And that's when Alex knows she's really fucking upset about this—she doesn't even roll her eyes at the nickname. Brie scrambles into his lap and curls up there as tears stream down her face, and Alex feels lost, drowning in his daughter's hurt. There are days he thinks that he's doing fine being a parent and then there are these days, when he feels every bit that scared 17-year-old who first held Brie with trembling hands. When she needs him and he doesn’t know how to fix it. It threatens to choke him today just as much as it did when he was a clueless kid holding a crying infant, that fear of not being good enough, of failing her.

It is a little different now, though, because he looks up and Henry is crossing the room toward them. In Henry, Alex has a loving husband, a shoulder to lean on. And Brie has an adoring father, a place where she knows she’s safe. Neither of them has to do this alone.

Henry sits down next to Alex and touches them both immediately—one hand cupping the back of Brie's head and the other slipping behind Alex's body, wrapping around his shoulders.

Brie's sighs and makes a choked sound, but her next sob is a little quieter as Henry's palm strokes her messy hair. Alex's muscles lose a little bit of their tension as Henry's fingertips skirt over his arm. He takes a calming breath, leaning into Henry’s warmth and bringing Brie with him as he shifts even closer.

Henry whispers, “It'll be alright, darling,” and Alex doesn't know which one of them he's talking to. But both of their bodies seem to respond to his gentle tone, relaxing as he slots himself into place at their side.

“Brie, we won’t love you less if you get a sibling, sweetheart,” Alex tells her, mustering every ounce of conviction he has. “I promise you that.”

Brie whines a little, fresh tears streaming down her cheeks that she buries in Alex’s collarbone. “How do you know?”

And of course, there isn’t an easy answer to that. He just does.

Alex looks to Henry, clinging to Brie and having no idea what to tell her. It’s not an irrational fear—their time will definitely be split. And to a nine-year-old, that feels like split love, like less of what she’s accustomed to getting. Alex doesn’t know how to assure her that she’ll still be just as loved if they add another person to their family. And Brie stopped accepting, “Because I say so,” as a reason long before Henry even came into their lives. He can’t say that. He knows it won’t work.

“What do I do?” Alex says helplessly, tears burning in the corner of his own eyes.

“It’ll be alright,” Henry repeats, definitely to Alex this time, and then to Brie he says, “Gabriella, sweetheart. Do you love me?”

Brie picks her head up from Alex’s chest, damp cheeks flushed and curly hair nearly hiding her face from view. Still, Henry has her attention, even if she looks confused. “That's a silly question.”

“Will you still answer it for me?”

Sensing the seriousness in Henry’s tone, Brie sits up straighter and looks Henry directly in the face when she says, “Yes, I love you.”

“Do you love your daddy still?”

Brie frowns, the cogs of her brain churning behind those big brown eyes as she wipes her face with her hand, sniffling. She glances at Alex, lips pursed, and answers, “Yes.”

Henry hums in acknowledgment, lifting a hand to push some hair away from her face with a tender touch. “Now, do you love your daddy less because you love me, too?”

“Oh,” Brie breathes out in a rush, meeting Henry's eyes again with light shining through her gaze. “No. It's still the same.”

Henry nods. “It'll be that way with your sibling, as well.”

Brie’s brow furrows. “Do you… get more love?”

“We do,” Henry agrees, touching his thumb to the dimple in her chin. “So we won't love you less because we love them, too.”

Brie's lower lip trembles. “Do you promise?”

“Promise,” they say in unison, and Brie takes a few big breaths—a trick she learned from Alex last year—before nodding.

“Okay,” she tells them, but she still curls herself into Alex’s chest again. She reaches out a hand for Henry, her pinky finger extending out of habit. Henry meets her halfway and links their fingers, smiling at her before touching a kiss to her forehead.

He doesn’t have to say the words. Brie smiles and tucks her head under Alex’s chin, feeling so small in his arms despite how fucking big she’s getting.

They let her sleep in their bed that night—she doesn’t have to ask. She just crawls beneath their covers with her stuffed beagle clutched in one hand and flops back into their expensive pillows, sighing happily.

“I didn’t mean it earlier,” she tells them before she falls asleep, nodding to herself. “I still want my sibling.”

Henry grins at Alex over her head, a tiny celebration of a battle won, before reaching across her body to touch Alex’s waist as they all settle for the night.

In the morning, Alex has to pry himself away to go to work. He gets dressed quietly but turns around at the door, moving back to kiss Brie’s forehead before touching his lips to Henry’s temple.

“I love you,” Henry murmurs sleepily, his mouth twisting into a soft smile.

“Love you more, baby,” Alex whispers back, kissing Henry’s hair again before dragging himself away.

Alex looks back at them one more time as he’s leaving—Brie curled into Henry’s side as Henry’s arms form a protective barrier around her, the sunlight just starting to touch Henry’s golden hair. Alex smiles as he watches them for a stolen moment, a brief appreciation for the two of them, his entire fucking world.

A world that’s about to get a little bit bigger.

🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

After that, it’s fine.

Brie doesn’t burst into tears at the thought of a sibling anymore, and she even insists on being a part of choosing a name. Because it's her sibling, after all.

Most of her suggestions are from her favorite movies or TV shows, and they do their best to humor her, even when she spends two days insisting that the baby be named Olaf. Alex and Henry play around with a few variations of their middle names, but none of them feel right. Catalina is suggested during a game night at June and Nora’s place, and Nora complains for fifteen minutes that her middle name wasn’t suggested as well, so they drop that idea. Alex’s mom and Bea text ideas every other day, which gets annoying quickly enough that they wind up not liking any of their suggestions out of irritation and spite.

Alex doesn’t remember naming Brie being this hard, but he guesses that there were fewer people to get input from then.

On a random Saturday afternoon, Brie looks up with a pinch at the corner of her mouth and determined eyes and says: “What if we name them after a cracker?”

Henry looks up from where he’s sitting at their kitchen island, typing on his laptop, clearly baffled. “Where on earth did you get that idea from?”

Brie glances at Alex, looking self-conscious. “Because… I’m Brie, like the cheese. So we could be cheese and crackers.”

Henry tilts his head, considering, while Alex squints at her and says, “I thought you said you didn’t want to be cheese.”

“Well, they go together,” Brie answers, her tone softening as she reaches up to tug on her necklace. “So I’ll be cheese if they’ll be crackers.”

“That’s so bloody sweet,” Henry mutters, rubbing his forehead before looking at Alex with wide eyes. “How are we meant to say no to that?”

Alex meets his daughter’s gaze, and part of him is suddenly terrified that he’s about to have three people in his life capable of manipulating him.

He sighs and glances up at the ceiling, and he thinks he hears Henry cover up an amused snort. “What were you thinking, exactly?”

🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

It’s a boy.

They pick a name without telling Brie. They get everything that they need within a few weeks of sharing a registry. They paint the baby’s room a soft, sage green.

And Alex panics about the whole thing so many times that he loses count.

They’re going to have two fucking kids. He isn’t sure who allowed him to do this again. He didn’t even get clearance the first time, and he thinks maybe he just got lucky with the adoption process this time.

Surely, he shouldn’t be the father of two children.

Henry holds his hand every time the anxiety threatens to overwhelm him, helping him breathe through it. Henry assures him that they’ll do it together every step of the way. He repeats his wedding vows in a gentle whisper against Alex’s temple, slow and deliberate. Alex hears words like devotion and love and always and feels like he isn’t sinking anymore. Henry is his life raft, his partner in every sense of the word.

Alex would be lost without him.

They have a due date. A name.

They’re as ready as they’ll ever be and desperately hoping that’s ready enough.

All that’s left to do is wait.

🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

Their baby is born on October 17th, late in the afternoon. He is perfectly healthy, weighing in at just under eight pounds. When he’s placed into Alex’s arms for the first time, they’re both crying.

Henry kisses Alex’s temple as he strokes a thumb over the baby’s cheek, his own eyes filled with tears. June texts that Brie is beside herself with impatience when they send a picture of him. She includes photo evidence of Brie sprawled on her bedroom floor with her stuffed beagle, because nothing else will hold her attention when all she wants is to meet her brother.

I understand her anxiety, June adds. I can’t wait to teach her everything I know about being an older sister. Don’t worry, I’ve already given her a few lessons.

Alex texts back, that’s not fucking comforting, and June sends a dozen laughing emojis.

Brie meets them at the door when they bring him home, her eyes as big and animated as Alex has ever seen them. Her hands are clutched to her chest, and she’s bouncing on the balls of her feet, vibrating with excitement.

“Let me see him, let me see him,” she squeals, stretching up on her toes to get a good view.

“I’ll do you one better,” Alex tells her, shifting the baby in his arms. “Sit down on the couch and chill out a little, and you can hold him.”

Brie bolts to the couch but, to her credit, takes a slow breath as soon as she’s sitting down. She wrings her hands together a few times and rolls her shoulders, making a conscious effort to stop herself from moving too much. Finally, she blows out a lungful of air and looks up at Alex.

“Okay,” she says, dead serious. “I’m ready now. I won’t drop him.”

June snorts, leaning into Alex’s side to smile at her nephew. “God, he is cute. He gets it from Henry.”

“Fuck off,” Alex mumbles, making June laugh. “Thanks for watching Brie.”

“Happy to,” she tells him as she heads toward the door, promising to be back with Nora in a few hours, once the four of them have had some time to settle in.

The door clicks shut behind her, and Alex sits down beside Brie to gently transfer their newborn into her arms.

“Make sure you have his head, alright?” Henry instructs, situating himself on the other side of her and smiling when Brie nestles the baby’s head into the crook of her elbow. “Very good.”

Brie looks down at him for a long moment in complete silence. Alex can’t see her face, only that her fingertips are tracing over her brother’s tiny arm in a soft, comforting motion. But she doesn't say a single word, and Alex can't help the worry that constricts in his chest.

“Well, what do you think?” Alex asks, pulling her hair behind her shoulders and away from the baby's grabby hands.

When Brie looks up, she’s crying. Big, silent tears are rolling down her cheeks. She must register the terror in Alex’s face because she shakes her head immediately, leaning closer to him.

“No, it's okay. I'm not sad,” she insists, glancing back down at her brother. “I just love him so much already.”

Alex closes his eyes, taking a calming breath as relief surges. When he opens them again, Henry is chewing on his bottom lip, his blue eyes misty and chin trembling. Their gazes meet, and they both smile.

Because yeah, they get it. They love him that much already, too.

Henry's voice is rough when he asks, “Would you like to know his name, little love?”

Brie looks up at him with wide eyes, nodding so fast Alex thinks her head might detach.

Alex reaches over, brushing his thumb up the slope of the baby’s sock-covered foot. “His name is Graham.”

Oh, just like I said.” Brie chokes on a tiny sob, but she’s grinning. “Like the cracker. You listened to me.”

Henry laughs a little and shakes his head, as if remembering the day they’d decided. They were so tired of everyone else butting in, and then Henry had sighed and said, “Graham is a cute name. It’ll tickle Brie to death.”

And, well. It’s certainly not the first time Brie’s gotten exactly what she wanted.

Sometimes, Alex thinks she’s the reason Henry is even here in the first place. Her and her incessant meddling.

It’s worked out pretty well so far.

Brie makes a happy sound, holding Graham a little closer to her body. “I love you, Graham. I'll fight anyone who even looks at you.”

“You know,” Alex whispers, the moment feeling soft and fragile. “Our rule is you only fight if they swing first.”

Brie shakes her head. “That's if it's me. It's different for him. No one will ever get close enough to touch him.”

Alex glances back at Henry, who shrugs as if to say, what can you do?

Which is fair. Alex distinctly remembers June breaking a boy's nose when she was twelve because he teased Alex about his hair, or helping hide a failed exam from their mom, or the time she yelled at one of Brie's teachers until Brie got an apology for unfair treatment, then yelled at the principal until he agreed to disciplinary action. She's always gone to extremes to protect them both.

Somehow, Alex thinks Brie will be even worse.

Brie is careful as she slides one of her arms out from underneath Graham, and Alex moves his hand to cradle Graham’s neck, just in case. He watches, his breath held, as Brie tucks her pinky into Graham’s tiny palm. Small fingers constrict reflexively, and Brie smiles ear-to-ear.

“You and me,” Brie murmurs.

In response, Graham holds her finger tighter, as if he already understands the significance. Alex glances at Henry, at his awed expression, and reaches across the back of the couch to touch his shoulder.

Henry looks at him, slides his palm over Alex’s knuckles, and mouths, “Love you.”

And Alex is so fucking filled with love, he doesn’t know if there’s enough space for it in his body.

He expected his heart to expand for Graham, a whole new person to love and adore. But it’s more than that. It’s extra devotion for Henry, who is smiling at the scene in front of them as a father of two. It’s an increased affection for Brie, who is already stepping effortlessly into the role of big sister. It’s a little more admiration for himself, for the home he’s found and the future he’s building.

He looks at them—his daughter, his son, his Henry—and feels full. Complete.

Like maybe he’s done okay with his life, after all.

Notes:

thank you for reading! happy to hear what you think here or on any of the socials - Twitter, Tumblr, BlueSky - ily <3

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