Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

At VIRTUAL SEKAI, the infamous tech business, all was going smoothly, but there was one problem. The day so far was quite boring, and even more so uneventful. MEIKO hadn’t given Tsukasa a task to do yet, so all he could practically do was review presentation slides for the hundredth time and make sure there weren’t any grammar mistakes on his latest instructional handbook for new employees, as being the office IT support head.

As Tsukasa was drifting into dreamland, where unicorns are real and ginger pork could dance and serve cupcakes, something, or maybe someone bonked him on the head. Hard. Ow. The blond lifted his head to check out who his assailant was, just to see a familiar woman with a striking brown bob holding a rolled up newspaper, which seemed to be her signature weapon. (not including her heels, of course)

Ah. It’s MEIKO.

Oh.

Shoot. Did she catch him slacking off? Ooh, yeah. He might be done for.

”AAHH-hahahaha hi, Ms. MEIKO! Uhh… how can I help you today?”

MEIKO didn’t look quite well, and perhaps a bit on her angry side. Just for precautions, Tsukasa began mentally recording down a list of things he wanted to tell his co-workers, best friends, and parents.

I’m sorry I couldn’t be there with you longer, and I’m sorry for not loading up the dishwasher yesterday. Please forgive me. But now my time has come, and I need to leave for the heavens.

“Tsukasa, what are you doing?”

It was at this moment that Tsukasa realized he must’ve looked really stupid, muttering prayers and apologies while staring at the floor. MEIKO, being MEIKO, sighed and placed a hand on her forehead.

“I’m not feeling well today, and KAITO’s in a meeting with Luka right now, so I can’t ask the two of them for help. Everyone else is either unwilling or busy, so would you bother babysitting the Kagamine twins for the day?”

Ah. The Kagamine twins. ten year old deities of making Tsukasa’s minimum wage job even harder. How pleasurable that he had to deal with their constant arguing about menial things, such as oranges being ten times better than bananas. (Honestly, he agreed that oranges were, in fact, 10 times better than bananas, but he wasn’t going to tell Len that.)

“Uhm- I don’t think I can-“

MEIKO glared at him. Something about that glare shivered his timbers.

“A-Actually, contradicting what I just said, I am very much free to babysit the two.” He stammered, backing his chair away before MEIKO could hit him with a very luxurious heel.

MEIKO let out a sigh of relief, and patted Tsukasa on the shoulder. “You’re a lifesaver, thank you so much. I’ll even consider giving you a ten percent raise.”

Tsukasa, at least in his mind, does that one pose that he saw many memes of. That one with the American composer, what was his name? Len Manual Amanda? No, that wasn’t it..

His train of thoughts was suddenly interrupted by two voices yelling from a distance.

”TSU- *pant* TSU- KAAAAAA *wheeze*- SAAAAAAAA!!!!”

Oh

His sadness from earlier was brought back and amplified when Rin, short yellow hair flying high like in a shampoo commercial (though Tsukasa highly suspected she used body wash on her hair in most occasions) grappled onto Tsukasa at fast miles per hour.

”AEIAH- oh god Rin you’re heavier than last time.” Tsukasa wheezed as he got locked into a chokehold by this ten year old orangutan.

”ARE YOU CALLING ME FAT.” Rin bird called into his ear, which had already been blown out from when Nene called Emu pretty. Rest in peace eardrums, we will not miss you.

Len ran into the room at slightly less fast miles per hour, huffing, and puffing, and blowing the straw house dow- (i am sorry- leeku / ah. -orang)

Len, being a chimpanzee, much similar to his twin orangutan, latched onto Tsukasa and opened his mouth. (just a reminder, they’re not actually monkeys. -orang)

“haAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH” A tear was pooling in Tsukasa’s eye. (no, i am not kidding- leeku)

Despite being out of breath, he could scream quite loudly. And for a long time too. Pity Tsukasa. Feel bad for Tsukasa. Lament for Tsukasa, poor lad. (shoves a tsukasa plush keychain in your face- leeku)

Operation: Find Tsukasa a Way to Visit an Asylum has begun. Rin has taken out her ipad. Rin has opened her Sims 4. Rin has opened her modded world. Tsukasa has taken critical and emotional damage.

As Tsukasa was wrestling with these fiends, KAITO walked in. What luck, seeing two majorly important CEOs in one day! He was overly thrilled, ecstatic, overjoyed, euphoric, exhilarated, delirious, delighted, jubilant, and enthralled.

“Hey KAITO! What can I- AH- do- RIN STOP PULLING MY HAIR- what can I do for you?”

KAITO looked at Tsukasa. Then at Rin. Then at Len. And then Tsukasa again.

”Sorry to bother you. You seem like you have a lot on your hands. Literally. But could I ask you for a favor?”

Tsukasa really wanted to say no. But… that’s probably not an option when you’re talking to your boss- the boss who can fire you instantly.

”ugh- I mean yeah! Sure! What do you need help with?” He asked while juggling the two kids in each arm.

KAITO rubbed the back of his neck as he explained, “We’ve recently hired a new employee, but as you can see, we’re all a little busy. And since you’re the head of IT support for employees and customers, do you mind showing him around?”

Tsukasa could only sigh and nod.

”You’re such a big help, thanks so much.”

”Ahahahah- of course! -OW LEN MY LEG-“

He then proceeds to throw both Rin and Len over his shoulder.

"AAAAAAHHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHA!" They both giggle-yelled. How do they do that? Tsukasa doesn’t know. He just hopes the new employee isn’t like this.

He then proceeded to regret his life decisions.

The reason behind this is because when he was trying to stuff the twins into the elevator and shut it in time- Rin had almost lost a limb due to trying to escape.

Yay!

However, he then proceeded to regret his life decisions once more.

Because, standing in the doorway was the most gorgeous person he had ever seen.

He had light purple hair with streaks of cyan, tied back in a small ponytail in the back, bangs falling around his face. Golden eyes were lined with thin red eyeliner, making them instantly pop out.

Tsukasa was, as you would call, down bad.

Chapter Text

“AH- uh- heh- hey- HI.” stammered Tsukasa, because he totally did not spend thirteen years learning how to speak in complete sentences.

The other simply chuckled, while replying with, “Hello! It’s quite nice to meet you. I assume you’re the one to show me around the place?”

“Oh! Yeah! My name is Tsukasa Tenma! Tsukasa meaning director, and Tenma meaning pegasus? What’s your name, handso- I MEAN- uh… guy, eh- dude…?”

It was at this time that he heard snickering at his side and looked over to be greeted by the sight of Rin and Len wickedly whispering to each other while glancing at the new worker and Tsukasa back and forth.

”You called him handso-“ teased Rin, but before she could finish what she was saying, Tsukasa clamped a hand over her tiny but capable mouth.

”SHUT UP.”

“Fufu~ my name is Rui. Kamishiro Rui. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Tsukasa.”

”Same here! Should we start with the tour then?” asked the blond.

Before the two workers set off though, Tsukasa halted and turned on his heel to face Rin and Len. Then he proceeded to grab the two by their collars like baby kittens and dragged them behind him.

”Don’t even think about running.”

A humph came from the twins, and some pouting followed. But thankfully, they didn’t protest any further.

And so, the tour began.

Their first stop was the front desk, AKA where Tsukasa’s usually stationed. Sadly, he never had time to tidy up his desk, so Rui’s first impression of him was probably a messy hobo. Rin and Len weren’t helping either, by jumping on Tsukasa’s chair, grabbing his coffee cup- that he had just refilled, having a sip of the coffee, immediately puking, and getting nasty stuff all over his work area.

Tsukasa cried. Silently.
(well, obviously, he can’t make Rui think he's weak.)

“What an… amazing set up you’ve got!” Said Tsukasa’s crush, almost failing to stifle a laugh.

And by that, Tsukasa felt his soul absolutely leave his body once and for all.

As he was dying from embarrassment, Rin latched onto his face (Yes, she jumped from the desk to Tsukasa’s face. Yes, it’s possible in Rin standards.) while Len suction-cupped onto his back, leading Tsukasa to teeter totter, and then eventually fall- straight into Rui.

Oh.

Oh!

OH OH OH OH OH-

And that’s how those two ended up with the current situation- Tsukasa awkwardly piled on top of Rui while the other was squished underneath- Tsukasa’s back cutting off Rui’s air supply. Rin and Len were on either side of the two adults, snickering and dancing around like cultist monkeys.

Oh how Tsukasa wished he could die, but even if he wanted to enjoy being this close to Rui, it was hard to appreciate the moment with the Kagamine twins “OOH EE A EE LOOK HAHA IT WORKED”-ing in the background.

For some reason, Tsukasa lost the ability to move. (perhaps somebody had poisoned him earlier when he wasn’t paying attention) It wasn’t until Rui gently lifted Tsukasa up, and rolled him over so that he wasn’t on top, but next to Rui now. At least Rui could breathe now. It would be a shame if he died before Tsukasa could confess, no?

”OH- UHM sorry about… that…. ehehehe.” Tsukasa said, unable to make eye contact.

Rui chuckled, and brushed off non-existent dust from his shoulders. “It’s quite alright. Let’s set that aside, and perhaps continue the tour?”

Oh right. There was a tour. That had completely slipped off Tsukasa’s mind, but you couldn’t really blame him. He had just so much to do. (AKA: babysit Rin and Len take up 90% of that list because of how unstable and troublesome they are)

So, Tsukasa nodded in agreement, and continued the tour. Their second stop were the stairs. (yes, for some reason, that was part of the list MEIKO had run over with him earlier) The task of climbing to get to the fifth floor- where Rui would be working- was practically impossible with two kids balancing on his shoulders and threatening to make them tumble down by pulling his hair from time to time.

He almost slipped once, but thankfully, his romantic saviour (cough cough DELUSIONAL) caught him from behind, ensuring that Tsukasa did not fall to his doom at twenty years old.

After what felt like an eternity of climbing concrete stairs, they finally reached the fifth floor, which was frankly a disaster at the moment.

Kanade was crouched in the corner, completely abandoning work, looking like a vampire (she probably was one) while Nene sat in her spinny chair, head down and hair sprayed everywhere like stray lettuce. (because her hair is green haha get it) An was furiously typing on her laptop while also listening to a murder podcast- without headphones.

”Oh… uh. They’re not usually like this by the way.”

Rui looked skeptical, but kept a straight face, nodding ‘understandingly’.

It wasn’t until Tsukasa inhaled half of the oxygen in the room and bellowed with all his might,

”ATTENTION ENGINEERS! PLEASE WELCOME RUI KAMISHIRO, YOUR NEW CO-WORKER! I EXPECT YOU TO ALL TREAT WITH RESPECT! *deep breath* THANK YOU!”

That everyone (the three girls) instantly snapped their heads in Tsukasa’s direction, looking at him, then casting their almighty gaze upon Rui Kamishiro.

Nene was the first to approach Rui, squinting at him, but still keeping her distance. Rui stuck out his hand, waiting for Nene to handshake with him. She looked at his hand suspiciously at first, but reluctantly held out her hand too.

”Nice to meet you- Rui, was it? I’m Nene. Nene Kusanagi. Nice to meet you.”

Rui put on one of his oh so dashing smiles, returning Nene’s words. “A pleasure to meet you too, Miss Kusanagi.”

Tsukasa couldn’t help but feel a bit jealous. Rui had never addressed him so formally and politely. But then again, Mr. Tenma sounded weird.

Okay, enough of his inner thoughts. Tsukasa snapped back into reality, clearing his throat.

”You’ve already met Nene, she’s our head coding engineer. The other two are Kanade and An, Kanade being the isolated looking one, and over there is An, for which I feel bad for her keyboard, being smashed like that at such lightning speed. Kanade, get up, MEIKO didn’t give us a break yet. An, I’m scared of whatever you’re listening to, I will proceed to have nightmares about this. Please shut it up.”

Kanade reluctantly rose up, a perfect imitation of a zombie with a lack of sleep who's also running on Monster drinks. An groaned, and muttered about Tsukasa being “such a hall monitor”, (which Tsukasa took great offense to) then turned off the podcast, (thank god) sparing anyone in the room from more horrid details of how a man’s body was cut up in half, chopped up into cubes, and made into a patty.

”Uh… so that’s your cubicle over there, right next to Nene’s. I’m pretty sure MEIKO should’ve provided you with instructions and everything else you need. If you need help setting up your computer, just contact me. You should have a list of everyone’s work emails too,” Tsukasa said, gesturing vaguely as he spoke. “I’ll leave you to it!”

”I thank you Tsukasa, but just a question,” said Rui, tilting his head curiously. “Where are those two twins you’re supposed to be taking care of?”

Ahahaha. Yeah, Rin and Len! Now that he comes to think of it, they haven’t done anything yet, which was quite surprising- wait. Tsukasa turned around slowly to be greeted by the sight of an empty hallway. Oh shit, MEIKO’s gonna kill him. Haha! He can say goodbye to his payroll and Rui.

”OH NO NO NO- uh be right back! You can just- get to work or something. Uh sorry gotta roll bye!”

And with that, he rushed around the floor first, peeking his head into random rooms, looking everywhere for two small masses of bright yellow.

No Rin or Len was found on floor five, making Tsukasa now decide if he should go down or up first. Knowing that the twins would probably seek trouble first, the two must’ve gone down to the top of the building, where the higher representatives resided.

And so, he ran back to the elevator, pressing the up button repeatedly at record fast speed.

Thankfully, the elevator was near, so Tsukasa didn’t have to wait fifty minutes. Once on, he smacked the ninth floor button, and leaned back, enjoying his fifteen seconds of peace before the doors opened.

The moment he heard the elevator ‘ding!’, he rushed out, almost bumping into Luka, who was heading his way.

”Woah there Tenma! What brings you here today?”

“Oh hi Ms. Luka! Uh- really really sorry to bother you, but could you help a fellow co-worker out? If I don’t find them, I gotta consider myself fired and unemployed, and I’m barely making minimum wage, so-“

”Oh oh oh slow down, take a breather. Who exactly are you looking for?”

Tsukasa did as Luka instructed, taking deep, calming breaths before replying, “The Kagamine twins. I was supposed to babysit them, but while I was showing our new employee around, I may have- uh- lost track of where they went.”

Luka chuckled. “Ah, those two rascals. I feel bad for you, having to babysit them. As for their whereabouts, I only know where Rin is located, yet Len is still in a place unknown.”

She pointed to where her office was, gesturing to Tsukasa to go check while she bid him farewell and stepped into the elevator.

Afterwards, Tsukasa walked over and opened the door to Luka’s private office, expecting the worst, only to be greeted by the sight of something… unusual.

Miku was there too, standing in front of Rin, holding out a small bouquet of yellow lilies that perfectly matched Rin’s hair color. Rin herself was staring at the posy, (which is a synonym for bouquet btw [I THINK]- orang) a small blush creeping down her cheeks, spreading from her ears.

”Rin… I kinda like you.” muttered Miku, head down shyly, not making eye contact.

Tsukasa could see the gears turning in Rin’s head as she processed this information. She started stuttering, and crashed out on the spot, but oh was Tsukasa proud when she managed to utter out the words, “HUH? AAAAHHHHHHHHHH-UH- UH YEAH! ME TOO hahhaha-“

The two were both red as tomatoes, but Rin finally accepted the lilies and gave Miku a tight hug.

Awwww.

Their cuteness was almost enough to make Tsukasa forget why he was here, but thank god he didn’t!

”Sorry to interrupt your puppy love moment- it was really cute and all, but I need to find your brother and get you,” he said, pointing to the blonde girl, “back to my side, or else I’m getting fired today, and I can’t have that happening.”

Rin pouted, but she knew there was no use arguing, so she hugged Miku one last time, gave her a peck on the cheek, and rushed to Tsukasa, waving goodbye to Miku as they left the room.

”Sorry…”

”What was that?”

”I said sorry for running away… I guess.”

”Uh, cool. You better be, you almost cost me my job!” Tsukasa said in a scolding tone, ruffling the kid’s hair.

The two were walking in circles around the ninth floor before Tsukasa abruptly stopped and turned to Rin to ask, “Actually, do you know where your brother is? I thought he usually stays with you.”

Rin shrugged, “The most I know is that Len said he wanted bananas from the kitchen, so I told him to go grab some oranges too.”

”SO YOU JUST LET HIM GO ON HIS OWN?!”

”Yeah, why not?”

Kids these days.

And so they went down the elevator to the lobby, and scavenged the kitchen. After countless minutes of searching, Rin finally found Len in the spices cabinet with four banana peels next to him, three untouched bananas, and two in each hand currently being eaten.

”LEN! I TOLD YOU TO GET ORANGES FOR ME TOO!”

”YEAH BUT MY NEEDS ARE MORE IMPORTANT!”

”SINCE WHEN-“

”SINCE I SAID SO.”

Their bickering went on for another long period of time before Tsukasa clamped both of their mouths shut, glaring into both of their souls.

”Rin, shush. Len, you too, and get out of the cabinet. You two stay at that corner and think about what you’ve done while I clean this mess.”

The Kagamine twins obeyed, heads hanging and feet dragging on the tiles. Tsukasa sighed a long sigh of relief as he gathered the banana peels and threw them in the trash bin, handing Len the unopened ones.

After Tsukasa had wiped the surface of the kitchen clean, he led the kids out of the kitchen and sat them down on the plush couches near the front desk, AKA Tsukasa’s desk.

A big TV was stationed in front of the couch, so Tsukasa turned it on and handed Rin the remote, telling her to choose a movie for her and Len to watch while he did his work. Thankfully, they obeyed, turning on some TV show about beasts in balls, pocket monsters or something.

After Tsukasa made sure the twins were settled and wouldn’t run away again, he plopped down on his chair, completely exhausted.

Whew.

Disaster avoided.

Chapter Text

The rest of the day went by quite fast. Rin and Len were miraculously still glued to the TV screen, watching Pokémon. (as Tsukasa had finally been educated of the name) Tsukasa only had to review some emails and designs that the designer team had made for their new billboard, making the rest of the day pretty easy.

At exactly 5:47 PM, MEIKO appeared in front of Tsukasa’s desk with a cup of tea in her hand, gazing down at Tsukasa.

”Ms. MEIKO! Here to pick up the kids, I assume?”

She sighed, nodding her head. “As much as I would like to keep them with you forever, I’m kind of forced to take them back. Thanks for watching them for the day, they didn’t cause too much trouble, did they?”

Tsukasa got flashbacks from all the mischievous things the two had done throughout the day, but decided to keep his mouth shut, shaking his head.

“That’s good to hear. Well, once again, thanks a lot. I’ll get you that raise I promised to you as fast as you can.”

And with that, MEIKO strode to where Rin and Len were, turning off their TV, much to the twin’s protest, and dragging them by the collars like a girlboss, leading them to her car and throwing them inside.

After a few minutes of more work, Tsukasa started packing up, stuffing everything in his backpack before heading out to the parking lot.

Ah.

Another problem.

Tsukasa had promptly forgotten that Nene had driven him to work since Saki had to take his car to the hospital she worked a part time job at. And that same particular Nene had just bid Tsukasa a good evening approximately three minutes ago. So that left Tsukasa kinda… stranded.

As he was contemplating how to get home, Rui walked down from the stairs, waving at Tsukasa.

“Hey there fufu~! Seems like you’re in some sort of trouble, anything I can help with?”

Wow.

Rui.

The ever so elegant, hot, and handsome Rui.

Had just asked Tsukasa if he could help him.

Which means Rui wants to spend more time with him.

Or Tsukasa’s just delusional.

So, he started ranting anyway.

”Basically, I arrived at work with Nene, remember her? So I didn’t bring my car. Now that Nene has already left, I have no vehicle to get home by, heheh.”

Rui laughed, putting a hand on his hip. “You know, I could always drive you home.”

HE WAS WILLING TO DO WHAT?

Well, Tsukasa couldn’t pass up this opportunity to spend more time with the love of his life, so he said awkwardly, “Oh yeah, sure! That would be nice! Ah uh- thanks!”

So the two walked to the parking lot together, side by side. Most of the parking lot was empty, as almost everyone had left work except for some with late shifts. Tsukasa scanned around, looking for a car that might be Rui’s.

”What are you looking for? My motorcycle’s over here.”

Motorcycle?

And there it was, a sleek black and golden bike parked a few feet away, glistening in the sunset.

”I’ve got an extra helmet for you, but let’s run some instructions through first so you don’t fall off. It would be such a shame if a pretty boy like you fell to his death because of me, fufu~ also because I would probably go to jail-”

Did Rui just- DID RUI JUST CALL HIM A PRETTY BOY?!?!??!?!

Tsukasa moved in a trance to where Rui patted the upper part of his bike where he was supposed to sit.

”Right, so just sit there, keep your legs tucked here, yes. Then, when I get on, lean towards me and keep your arms around my torso, or waist, whichever’s more comfortable, got it?”

After Rui’s brief instructions, Tsukasa nodded, doing as the purple hair instructed.

Rui put on his helmet first before passing a spare to Tsukasa.

Tsukasa would’ve never thought he’d ever be attracted to motorcycle bikers in suits and ties, but here we are. We learn something new everyday, don’t we?

Rui settled onto the front of the bike, and when Tsukasa hesitated, he took Tsukasa’s hands and placed them around his own waist. “Safety first.”

Yeah, this was normal behavior. Every second person would do this on a bike. But why’d it feel so weird to do this with Rui? (oh ew I worded that weird ahaha just live with it- orang)

Probably because you have a fat crush on him, dumbass. Said his inner voice.

Well, if that wasn’t obvious.

”Where to?” asked Rui.

“To the local cafe, y’know that one? Bloom ‘n Brew?” Tsukasa had never understood why the owner of that cafe, Saki- AKA his sister- decided to give her small bakery such a corny name.

”Ah yes, that one. I remember wanting to go there sometime. Well, here’s my chance!” Rui started the engine.

Soon enough they were speeding across roads, with Tsukasa clinging on for dear life.

Countless times he felt as if he was going to fall off, leaving him clinging onto Rui tighter each time.

”Oof- ah, mind loosening your grip a bit? I can’t- breathe-“

“Oh! Eheh- sorry.”

Tsukasa was probably too busy trying not to die to realize that fifteen minutes had passed, and soon, Rui’s motorcycle skidded to a stop.

”Bloom ‘n Brew, here we are!”

Whew. Tsukasa stumbled off the motorcycle, wobbling like he forgot how to use his legs. “hurgh- ah, thanks, Rui.”

The other took off his helmet and smiled. “Actually, mind if I join you for a cup of tea? I need a bit of a refresher after my first day of work.”

”Well, why not? I might even be able to get you a free drink, heheh.”

The two walked to the cafe, a cheery bell ringing as Tsukasa opened the door.

”WELCOME- oh it’s just you Tsukasa,” A girl with blonde pigtails and pink highlights appeared from the counter, cheerfully welcoming them before abruptly stopping when met with the sight of none other than her brother.

”Tsk- Saki! Be polite, I got you a customer!”

Seeing an unfamiliar face and a potential shopper, she immediately changed her mood once again.

“Ahahaha- please mind my rudeness from earlier. Welcome to Bloom ‘n Brew! I’m the owner of this cafe, Saki. Please, take a seat. I’ll grab you a menu in a jiffy!”

Rui thanked her, and sat down at the two-person table closest to the window.

Once he was out of earshot, Saki dragged Tsukasa aside. “Alright, now, spill. Who's your boyfriend back there?”

“BOYFRIEND- No! He's just a new colleague at work, and kindly drove me here after Nene left.”

Saki did not believe it.

“Uh huh…”

She disappeared behind the back counter, leaving Tsukasa awkwardly standing in front of the door.

“Ahem. Well, would you care to join me?” Tsukasa glanced over to see Rui beckoning him over.

So, the blonde found himself sitting across the small circular table that he himself helped assemble. (it took him two hours, but that’s classified information)

Saki appeared a bit later, holding not two, but one menu. Rui graciously thanked her and took the menu, scanning through items.

Real nice, Saki.

As he drifted into dreamland once again, Tsukasa found himself staring at Rui’s golden amber eyes, which shone elegantly in the evening sunset that filtered through the windows of the cafe.

Sadly, Rui noticed him staring. Tsukasa exploded. Rui had LOOKED at him!

(Internally, I am not the best at writing gore, sorry aha…-leeku xoxo)

“Hm? Something on my face, Tsukasa-kun?” The purple haired said with a slight smile, long fingers (what is he slenderman-orang/i hope you die in a tragic accident-leeku) brushing through the menu pages elegantly.

“Ah- um- Eah MOSQUITO-” Tsukasa then proceeded to shriek, gracefully and elegantly toppling off of his chair.

From somewhere in the kitchen, an angry voice called, “ONI-CHAN IF YOU BREAK THAT CHAIR WITH YOUR HEAVY WEIGHT YOU ARE DEAD TO ME.”, ruining the moment, as if Tsukasa hadn’t already done that by fatally embarrassing himself.

Rui looked under the table where Tsukasa lay, presumably passed out. Huh. How surprisingly cute of him. Rui crouched under the table, and poked at Tsukasa’s cheek, checking to see if he was still alive.

(PLEAS EXCUSE LEEKU SHE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT STICKING TO ONE POV IS-orang/hey hey hey in english you learn about 3rd person pov trust-leeku/clearly you haven’t learned-orang/i hope your figures all suddenly dissappear-leeku/yeah and i hope your liver explodes and your dog eats it thinking its a treat-anonymous bc im gonna get sued)

“Tsukasa-kun? I believe that if you dirty her freshly cleaned floors, your sister will hide your dissected body.” He sighed, dragging the unconscious blonde from under the table, who was apparently fully awake at the same exact moment Rui made skin-to-skin contact with him. (simp)

Oh my god! Rui had dragged him out from under the table! And gently lifted him on the chair! So lovely, Tsukasa can die happy now.

You see, dear readers, Tsukasa is on a completely different level of the saying “delulu is the solulu”. Don’t be like him guys! That’s not quite the healthy lifestyle. Live your life outside of a mental asylum!

And of course, Tsukasa, being the lovestruck guy he is, malfunctioned once again.

404: error code. Tsukasa not found. Code: exploded internally, brain malfunctioning. Please try again later.

He was so caught up in being delusional that Tsukasa didn’t realize that Saki had approached the table he and Rui were sitting at, smacking him with the hardcover menus.

“OW-SAKI WHYYYY-” Tsukasa yelped, flailing his arms. He latched onto Rui, who was standing beside him. “Please help me- my sister has attacked me, oh dear Rui, please assist me in my hour of need!”

Thankfully, the cafe was relatively empty, so no one was here to hear Tsukasa bawl his eyes out.
Rui tried not to laugh, patting Tsukasa’s hair. (he’s so strong i would have started choking-leeku/yeah you delicate flower-orang/orang called me a delicate flower i feel so pretty-leeku/i meant that as an insult but ok-orang/ay yessir-leeku)

“Your sister, not mine, fufufu~ I’m sorry, but I can’t interfere with family matters, you’re on your own.”

Tsukasa fainted again. (not actually)

“Hello, Saki, was it? Anyways, I believe that it would be best to get your brother home, do you have any means to?” Rui asked, fingers tapping on the
smooth counter.

Saki pouted, “He’s fine. But if you’re gonna do anything, perhaps order first? I work minimum wage and money is greatly appreciated.”

“Of course. What menu items would you recommend?”

Is Saki’s pay really more important than Tsukasa’s health? Huh. He missed the days when Saki appreciated all his efforts. *sigh*

“Uh, I don’t know you very well, but if you were looking for something Tsukasa likes, perhaps a lemon sorbet? Perfect for the hot-ish weather, too!”

“Ah, alrighty then! I’ll have that, then I suppose I shall drag your brother away. Would you like to take him home, or should I?” Rui asked, chuckling at Tsukasa, who was doing nothing but really staring into the void.

“I don’t like him very much and he’ll cause a racket in my car, could you bother to do me a small favor? I’ll give you our address, it’s only like- five minutes away.

Gee. How does it feel being rejected by your beloved sister? And insulted, too.

“Sure!” Rui didn’t seem to mind at all. “By the way, for later purposes, could I receive both of your phone numbers?” (what later purposes mister-leeku/late night talks-orang/ok…-leeku)

To Saki’s credit, she whipped up the homemade sorbet quite fast and served it in a jiffy, along with both hers and Tsukasa’s phone numbers on a cute little heart themed note. (Tsukasa believes the heart part may have been.. intentional on his behalf)

“Alright, here’s one lemon sorbet! Enjoy the rest of your day with my idiot brother!” She said, smiling while handing him the sorbet. Her smile grew wider as she slowly walked back to the other side of the cafe, and took out her phone, fingers flashing over the screen. Tsukasa couldn’t exactly see what it was, since Saki was moving further and further away, but he saw lines like- huh- angst? Office place romance? How weird. (SHE’S A FANFIC WRITER WHAT ELSE SHOULD SHE HAVE DONE IN THIS ROMANTIC SITUATION? -the two sleep deprived, over worked blobs of toast/toast-orang)

The next few minutes passed by with just Tsukasa admiring Rui as he ate his sorbet like a man with refined taste.

Soon enough, the small glass bowl was empty, and Rui stood up to return the bowl and pay for the treat.

Saki gave Rui the biggest smile and thanked him and bowed a lot- just overall became the overpolite Saki Tsukasa never knew existed.

Wow. If only she could be that way at home. What a tragedy.

Moving on, Rui approached Tsukasa and lightly tapped his shoulder, beckoning him to exit the cafe and get going.

OH MY GOD!

Rui Kamishiro just touched his arm!

Tsukasa Tenma has ascended.

And so for the millionth time of the day, Tsukasa mentally combusted. He allowed his body to drag behind Rui, following him outside and waving a quick goodbye to Saki.

Man, I wanna be like Tsukasa when I grow up.

*delulu is the solulu*

*delulu is the solulu*

(join the cult.-leeku xoxo)
(GUYS DON’T DO IT ONCE YOU ENTER YOU DON’T LEA- orang)
(i kidnapped orang you won’t be seeing her again-leeku xD)
(HELP ME)

And so, that’s how Tsukasa found himself on Rui’s motorcycle once again, doing a world record death grip on Rui’s waist to the point it looked like one of those Victorian ladies corset waists. (arm strength)

Bro is snatched haha-

After a while, Rui dropped Tsukasa off at his house, bidding him a farewell.

“I’ll make sure to text you, see you tomorrow, Tsukasa! Feel free to call me whenever you need a ride, fufufu~”

Tsukasa did not have the mental capacity to respond, so he just nodded and smiled like an idiot while standing there and waving as Rui zoomed off in the distance.

——————

“AAAAAAH WHY IS HE SO HOT-” is what he proceeded to scream into his pillow when he entered his room

And of course, what do you do when you have a crush? You rant, naturally.

However, Tsukasa was a friendless loser at the moment, because all his online friends were getting their beauty sleep. He probably would have started talking to the drywall if he had to.

But that’s okay, because Tsukasa promptly convinced Nene to call.

“Ugh, what- hello?”

“AAAAH NENE-“