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I know this boy who lives upstairs. His name is Vic, and my god is he the cutest thing.
He doesn't visit me much, and he definitely texts me more than he sees me, but man does it feel like I've been falling deeper and deeper in love the more he talks to me.
He's so creative and authentically himself, he makes a lot of his own stuff and wears a lot of. . Everything. Something's always jingling whenever he walks, and with the amount of jewelry he's been giving me, im starting to sound real similar. Whenever I notice, he floats around in my mind.
He's also really knowledgeable in a lot of things. Whenever we talk I always learn something new, and I like that he doesn't cut out facts about himself either. He's so open, I don't even think he realizes it.
I think his music is what really solidified how I felt. He isn't big, hasn't produced anything professionally, but that voice could sing me to sleep. I remember he sang to me once, and I didn't wanna think about it, certainly didn't wanna say it out loud, but it wouldn't stop coming up. On that day I came to the conclusion. .
Im so in love with Vic Fuentes.
-
It was another one of many uneventful evenings. A soothing summer breeze was calmly blowing in through Kellin's cracked window and Twilight quietly played on his TV as he brainstormed song lyrics with nothing else to do. Some lyrics were about his neighbor, others were a little more vague, nevertheless getting his thoughts out with every written word.
Kellin was humming as he got sidetracked and started doodling a picture of Vic like he was turning him into his own little character, and if he'd been humming any louder he probably would've missed the three faint 'knock knock knock's he heard on his front door.
As his fingers gently combed through his hair, Kellin pushed his notebook off his lap and dragged his feet as he went to open the door. Whoever was on the other side was a bit impatient, as they knocked a few more times a little harder in case Kellin hadn't heard the first three.
He checked the peephole before he unlocked and swung the door open just a bit too eagerly upon seeing Vic.
Even if he wasn't able to see his face, he could never mistake those rings and bracelets. Kellin happened to have a few that Vic had left at his place on the few rare occasions he'd been staying the night that would've gone nicely with the outfit he wore, but instead they lived on Kellin's own two wrists. Sometimes he liked to wonder if Vic knew Kellin had them and let him keep them or if he really was still clueless about where they were. . . both thoughts made Kellin's stomach tie into knots.
"Hey Kells. ." Vic was either all about eye contact or always avoided it, and today his eyes that looked like drops of milk chocolate were stuck on Kellin's like gum under a shoe. There was this obvious look of nervousness in his eyes, and he seemed to be keeping the contact because he had nowhere else to look. A bit ironic given his nerves, but Kellin's eyes were such a calming shade of blue.
"Hey Vic what's up? I uh. . Haven't heard from you in awhile. ." A day or two had passed since they'd last had a conversation. Kellin had texted him in that time frame to no response, and he couldn't help but be a little worried since they talked at least once a day.
Vic and Kellin had established that rule after Vic became a little more open with Kellin about his mental health, and although he was all for keeping Vic in a positive mentality, he also just really liked talking to him, so he was worried either way. It was a coincidence he'd shown up at his door today because if not, Kellin would've made his way to his.
He tried not to look too obvious as his eyes got a glimpse of what Vic had on. He wore this brown plaid button up (that happened to be completely unbuttoned today) with a black undershirt to go nicely with it. He also wore pants that were just a little too big, some beat up high tops, and of course, a bunch of jewelry to make his outfit more than just a shirt and some jeans.
The sleeves of his shirt pushed up just enough to see everything that was on his wrists and Kellin's favorite part of all of it was that, despite Vic's lack of expertise when it came to art, little multicolored doodles could be found all over his forearms. A guitar and microphone in blue, a sunflower in yellow, a little heart locket in orange, there were all kinds of untold stories to be found to cover the ones he couldn't bear to tell.
"Oh. . Oh! Oh jeez. . Im so sorry Kellin." It took awhile, but Vic let out an embarrassed sigh after connecting the dots.
"I took a little trip far out. I got tired of the city noise. . I wanted some air so I could write." He hadn't even thought about his phone the entire time he was away, too immersed in the environment that was so vastly different from what he was accustomed to at home.
"Nono It's . . It's okay. Just let me know next time." Kellin fidgeted with one of the bracelets on his wrist, and Vic just barely swallowed the lump in his throat when he saw how visibly anxious Kellin looked.
Although Vic was certain Kellin didn't intend for him to see any part of that or make him feel bad in any way, it couldn't help but make his stomach churn, and he started up another sentence to keep the conversation going before they fell into a prolonged silence that would only make the feeling significantly worse.
"I came over because I wanted to talk to you about something. It's nothing bad so please don't freak out. . Its just kinda important." Vic's voice lowered nervously near the end of his sentence, and his face tinted as he shifted his weight from his left leg to his right. Whatever he had to talk to Kellin about, he seemed embarrassed just thinking about it.
"Now you're making me really anxious." Kellin smiled in an attempt to ease this odd tension that was in the air to his avail when Vic reciprocated it. It wasn't a big smile like Kellin's, but it was big enough to tell him he felt a bit more comfortable.
Kellin soon moved out of the doorway so that Vic could come in. He'd been to his apartment a few times, but it was never frequent enough for him to come to the same place each time. Kellin was always rearranging things, adding more or less until he was satisfied, which he never seemed to be when it came to his living space. So, even though Vic knew the layout, he could never truly get accustomed to Kellin's apartment like a home.
"You've really changed the place since I last came over." It had only been. . Maybe a month? He couldn't quite remember, but clearly it'd been long enough for Kellin to make another "adjustment".
"I just can't make up my mind. . It's really stupid honestly." Vic slipped out of his shoes and looked around to admire the place, slowly making his way to Kellin's room. One thing was for sure, no matter how frequently he changed his place around, there wasn't one time it looked subpar. It really looked like he'd put a lot of his time into each tweak and fix.
When the two reached Kellin's room, Vic sighed in relief when he saw that at least his room hadn't changed since the last time he came. Vic found comfort in the way his room was unchanged. The decorations were inviting, the lights sparkled like distant stars in the sky and the warmth of his room engulfed him like a warm hug. Maybe he should come over more, he liked this warm and fuzzy feeling he now felt in his chest.
"So. . Let's talk yeah?" Kellin pulled him down onto his bed, making sure to push his notebook aside so that Vic wouldn't see the drawing he'd been working on of him. It wasn't finished, but it was worked on enough that Vic would probably be able to tell that he was being drawn.
"Oh. . Yeah right." He didn't want to, but Vic looked away to collect his bearings. He wasn't good at talking, at least not when it came to this. He could've probably communicated easier through lyrics, but that's not how he wanted to go about this. Raw words were the only thing that would clearly get the message through.
He took a breath, looked at Kellin, looked away, then came right back.
"Well. . You know. . Um. ." Vic swallowed, looking down as if he had a pile of notecards to reference, and his hands trembled a bit when there weren't.
"Relax. . I know you'll find the words." Kellin had to bite his lip so a pet name wouldn't accidentally slip out, and one of his hands came to rest on top of Vic's shaking ones. Vic tried his hardest not to react.
After one more breath and a glance to their intertwined fingers, Vic looked back up at Kellin and started over again.
"Okay so, what I told you about that little road trip was true but. . I also wanted a quiet place to think about. . yknow. . how I feel." Vic let out a breath he'd been holding in as if he'd cut to the chase, but he was just happy he was able to get that first sentence out successfully. There was a brief silence as he figured out what else he wanted to say.
". . I thought about you. . uhh. . way more than I'd like to admit." Now Kellin was the one to look away as if his words had caused him to get a little embarrassed, and it made Vic smile that he could get him to react that way.
"I'm serious! I mean. . You're the only one I was completely comfortable talking to about my problems. It was something I was insecure about, and you made me feel seen."
Vic swallowed, squeezing Kellin's hands much tighter as he carried on.
"You're my lifeline Kellin. Seriously. . And I uh. . I don't want to sound like I'm guilting you into something you don't want by saying that but. . um. ."
His breath shook
And it almost looked like he was about to cry
But he said it, and it felt like the sting of ripping off a bandage.
"Fuck. . I think I'm in love with you Kellin Quinn."
Kellin didn't stop the audible gasp that came right after hearing Vic's words. His eyes tingled, and he wanted so desperately not to cry in front of Vic, but he truly didn't think he could ever be so happy in any lifetime. Both of their faces were now a noticeable hue of pink, and it was a battle of who would break the silence first. It was a close call, but Vic ended up winning.
"I know it's kinda risky. I rely on you so much. . it's a little embarrassing almost. I just--" Vic was soon cut off by Kellin, who spoke confidently and with clear emotion.
"Vic, I can't put into words how much I love you. You're so brave, talented, unique, and you've truly been so strong during all of this." Kellin's hand came up to Vic's cheek. It was really warm and only seemed to heat up more the longer Kellin's hand had been resting against it.
"Im not saying this out of pity or out of guilt, Im saying this as someone who's had heart eyes for you since the day we met."
As he spoke, salty tears ran down Vic's cheeks, tears he hadn't even realized were streaming down, and landed on Kellin's hands. He smeared away each one, soothing Vic with each stroke of his gentle hands.
"I love you Kellin. ." The words felt weird on his tongue, like it would have to take some getting used to, but he repeated it silently to himself as a way of getting used to it.
"I love you too Victor." Vic's stomach twisted and knotted hearing Kellin use his full name, and before he could say much else, his lips were tied up in kissing Kellin's.
Kellin's lips were a sweet vanilla flavor. It wasn't overbearing, but they were just sweet enough to get Vic addicted to them like a drug. Vic hummed as he tasted Kellin, though it almost came out more like a moan than a hum.
Vic's lips on the other hand tasted like honey granola, most likely something he'd eaten prior, with a hint of a minty taste from the chapstick he tended to use. He wished he'd come more prepared, he probably would've tasted way mintier, but then again Vic would start to think think he was trying too hard to impress Kellin so maybe not. . .
When they pulled apart, Kellin quite literally looked at Vic like there were hearts in his eyes, and it made him want to cry all over again. He'd never experienced such bliss. Such pure, unfiltered love for another person. He hoped Kellin would never stop looking at him like that.
"So I. . guess we're official now yeah?" Vic's eyes were hopeful, like there was this little part of him that suspected Kellin would say no, and all he could do in reply was sprinkle little pecks all over his face.
"We are totally official." He pressed one more kiss to his lips before laying off the kisses, Vic's face a hot hot red by now and he playfully pushed Kellin away as he tried to think to himself about something. There was a brief pause, and he looked a little hesitant, but he soon spoke up before the hesitancy could consume him.
"Well in that case, there's this really cool spot I like to go to stargaze sometimes. ." Vic pushed some hair out of his face, though it only fell right back to the place it was in before.
". .Call it a date?"
His eyebrows rose, and Kellin's did too, but his was more in surprise than anything else. A date with Victor Fuentes. . If he thought about it too much, which he probably would, he'd dream about it, which he probably will.
"It's a date pretty boy." Vic had never smiled so hard in front of him, and seeing him so happy felt like a flower finally entering its full bloom. Kellin wanted to do whatever it took to make him this happy all the time. It was so sappy, but far too precious to just watch wither away.
The realization settling in that him and Kellin were actually official was making Vic so jittery. His eyes didn't shy away from Kellin but when the two of them were soon left with nothing else to do, they both focused on the tv in front of them.
"You watch Twilight?" Vic's thick eyebrows furrowed slightly as he finally took notice of what was idly playing in the background while he was pouring his heart out to Kellin.
"Um. . You don't?" He seemed to watch a lot of movies and shows in his spare time. He would always talk to Kellin about something he'd been watching that day, breaking down the plot and sometimes his favorite parts. If it was good enough (or if it got enough props from Vic), Kellin would watch and give feedback too. A lot of his newfound favorites were from Vic's recommendations.
"Yeah uhh. . I never got around to it. Not sure it's really my kinda thing."
"Oh come on Vic. You can like the girly stuff from time to time. ." Kellin nudged at Vic's shoulder, and although Kellin's words didn't make him anymore interested or persuaded into starting the series, he was sure it'd be a little better if Kellin was there to watch it with him, so he sighed and gave in.
"Jeez okay turn it on. ." Vic rolled his eyes as he slipped off his button up so he could finally cool himself down after being hot for all that time. He tied the shirt around his waist and left his just barely noticeably toned arms on full display, one of his hands moving to comb through his brown strands before leaning back on Kellin's bed, shifting a bit as he attempted to get comfortable and Kellin soon cuddled up next to him and did the same.
He was taking in whiffs of Vic's scent like it was his lifeline, addicted to the way they both shared that same earthy smelling scent. When Kellin finally managed to turn on the first movie in the series, as the one that was on before wasn't, his pretty eyes looked up at Vic's.
"Do you mind if i draw?" Kellin lightly tapped on Vic's forearm, signaling that he meant he wanted to add a doodle to his collection. He nodded his head almost a bit too fast, and Kellin didn't hesitate to stretch over to grab a pen. He made sure that the pen had colorful ink, much like the other pens Vic had used to draw his other creations.
"God. . You're so beautiful." Kellin sighed out almost like a whisper, soon keeping his mouth shut as he drew on him as to not distract him from what they were watching.
In the end, Kellin drew a beautiful rose in red.
"the day he bloomed"
with the date written under it.
-
I know this boy Kellin who lives downstairs. . I honestly think he's the best thing that's ever happened to me.
It started when I helped him move in, which I didn't really wanna do to begin with. . But there was something so beautiful about what happened after that.
We talked one time, and I think I said too much because all of a sudden he showed up at all my gigs, and I think I even saw him while I was on my shift once. My friends were so skeptical. . I remember Jaime straight up calling him a weirdo when I told him how frequently I coincidentally saw Kellin, but he really was that extra support I didn't even know I needed.
I had Jaime, I had Tony, I had Loni, and I had that small crowd that was willing to watch what I'd managed to put together, but something about Kellin's support felt unwavering, something that would just never go away.
I couldn't lie and say his personality was all I focused on either. . He's undoubtedly really cute. His hair is the perfect length, wavy and barely past his shoulders (it's especially nice when it's his natural hair color. . But he dyes it from time to time). His eyes are a beautiful shade of blue, and it almost looks like it's swirled in with a green as well.
He also has these tattoos that I couldn't even think about getting on myself. He's so effortlessly cute while being insanely sexy at the same time. I don't get how he does it. Im sure I'd have a much bigger fan base if I looked like him.
It's weird to think of how much I've been thinking about him lately. He's distracted me from the worst of things, yet he's been with me for the best of them. Honestly, I can't bear to say it out loud but. . .
I think I'm in love with Kellin Quinn.