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Despite being a future scientist, Cisco loves the idea of soulmates. He knows that many of his classmates can not get their head around it, they have too many questions to simply accept it. They need to analyze and understand
But Cisco, oh Cisco loves it.
Seven billion people on the planet, and one of them is his perfect match. Seven billion people and one day they will meet and get a chance at a happy ending.
It's cheesy and romantic, but he can't help it.
Still, often, he wonders. What is his soulmate going to be like? Will they be tall? Will they be a scientist too? Will they like Star Wars?
There is one thought in particular, one persistent terrible thought that keeps him up at night.
Will they want him?
There are stories of people refusing the bond. Often because they refuse to be tied to a person for some mystical reasons. But sometimes, they just do no want to be with their soulmate because of who their soulmate is.
Cisco knows, objectively, that he is a fun person to be around. He likes making people's day brighter by making jokes and references to pop culture. He has many friends and they love to spend time with him, but there are also lots of people who cannot stand him.
Too immature, they say, too weird and nerdy.
Also, frankly, he knows he is no model.
“Do not worry about things you cannot control. Focus on what you know and and what you can do,” his grandma used to say.
Keeping this in mind, he throws himself in his studies. He is going to be a great scientist, and he will impress his soulmate.
He is working for Star Labs! This is insane! His dream job is no longer a dream!
He feels dizzy. So many new people to meet and, sure, each day is a chance to meet your soulmate, but what if one of his new colleagues were his?
Cisco is thinking and feeling so much at the same time. Whatever happens here, he knows it will be life-changing.
His excitement is somewhat tuned down by a certain Hartley Rathaway. The guy is probably the most gigantic pretentious asshole in the universe. He acts and looks like a spoiled brat.
Really, Cisco wants to punch him after thirty seconds of knowing him.
So, why his heart beating like crazy when he looks in his eyes? Why are his hands shaking, hours still after being home?
It couldn't be...?
No, it's crazy. His soulmate wouldn't be such a jerk.
Right?
Working alongside Rathaway proves to be a pain in the ass, not that anyone is surprised obviously. The guy is always showing off, and can never accept to be wrong. Damn, Cisco really wants to slap him.
Or kiss him senseless.
No, no, no.
He will not have a crush on Hartley Douchebag Rathaway. No way. Nope. Never in a million years.
He'd just as soon kiss a Wookiee.
No wait, wrong reference. Leia did want to kiss Han, and Cisco absolutely does not to kiss that glasses-wearing asshole.
He is always being insufferable, always picking on Cisco, and generally being rude.
So, no, Cisco does not have a crush.
Except that he does.
True Love's Kiss.
It's a bit too much fairytale-like, even for Cisco.
Yet, that's what most people call it. The first time you kiss your soulmate on the lips, you know you are meant for each other.
It feels like being struck by lighting a second time, Barry said after he kissed Iris.
It was like seeing for the first time, his ma told him.
I knew in that instant that I would never be the same.
It's like I was only surviving before but I didn't know it, and then I kissed him and I started living.
It's different for everyone. But for everyone, it's intense and beautiful.
Cisco longs for it.
“I think I found my soulmate, but I'm pretty sure he hates my guts.”
The confession hurts but, at the same time, it makes him feel better, and isn't that a bit masochist.
Caitlin does not pity him, and he is glad for that, he couldn't handle it. She hugs him and says nothing. There is nothing to say.
He wonders if she knows.
She might. It does not change anything.
He might not get a soulmate, he might not get his happy endings, but he has good friends who will always be there for him.
One day, it will be enough. It has to.
“What's your problem, Rathaway? You know I'm right, so keep your jealousy out of this for once and let me do my job!”
“Me, jealous of you? Come on, Cisquito, don't be so stupid.”
“Stop calling me this, you fucker. I'm not a child, so quit treating me like one. You're so impossible! Why do you even act like this? I've never done anything to you.”
“Don't worry, it's not a special treatment, I treat everyone the same way.”
“You know what, you're right, it doesn't matter. You're an asshole to everyone, that's probably because your daddy was mean to you, okay. I'm just leaving now, 'cause I actually got a life instead of just being a dick to everyone I talk to.”
They are the last ones at Star Labs, all the others were either at home or enjoying their night off.
To be honest, Cisco does not quite remember what they're fighting about, they've been at it for almost an hour now.
Hartley walks into his personal place. He looks royally pissed.
“Do not talk about what you don't know, Ramon.”
“Yet, you seem to do that everyday, Rathaway.”
For a rare time, Hartley seems to be unable to find what to say next, he is shivering in anger, and that makes Cisco smirk. There are not many people that can shut Hartley up, and he is one of them.
Hartley's eyes flicker to Cisco's lips.
Suddenly, the air is sucked out of the room, or so it feels.
Oh gosh, they're going to kiss.
Their lips are barely apart now – when did that even happen – and strangely, Cisco is calm. There is only silence surrounding them, they are so close he is pretty sure Hartley can hear is heartbeat.
It's happening, he thinks.
True Love's Kiss.
He knows it, he is sure of it.
He can almost taste the peace of finally finding his soulmate.
Their lips about to touch, their breath mixing already.
It's happening, he thinks.
And yet.
“No.”
“What.”
Cisco is confused and dazed. What's happened? He looks over at Hartley who is standing as far away from him as possible, a look of fear and worry painted on his face.
“I...” he says, and then he leaves.
Cisco finds himself alone.
What happened?
He wants to cry. He wants to scream.
He goes home, defeated.
Happy endings were never made for him.
They don't talk after that. Hartley avoids him, won't even look at him.
Cisco pretends it doesn't hurt.
Hartley has been fired.
Cisco has thousands of questions, but no one can answer them.
Wells starts avoiding him too.
Fine, he will go to Hartley's place then.
He never does.
The particle accelerator explodes.
Cisco tries calling him. He just wants to make sure Hartley is alright.
The number you have dialed is not available.
He tries going to his place. It's been emptied.
Cisco goes on with his life.
He has to be strong for Caitlin.
He has to help fix what the explosion has done.
Will he ever know if Hartley was his soulmate?
Having Barry with them is a great way to focus on something else. Besides, Cisco has always wanted to be part of a superhero team.
Barry is awesome.
Caitlin is slowly getting better.
Wells is the same as always.
Really, everything is fine.
But then he gets back to his flat, and there is no one to greet him.
He can't help but think of what ifs.
What if Hartley was the one?
What if they had kissed?
What if they still had a chance?
Cisco hates feeling like this.
Hartley is back.
Cisco burns to ask him the countless questions he has been asking himself for months.
Has he felt the tentative bond between them? Is it why he ran? Why was he fired? Why didn't he answer his calls? Does he want to try?
But Hartley acts like nothing ever happened between them. He is more of a jerk than ever.
Cisco won't give him the satisfaction of asking.
Maybe it's all in his head.
Gosh, why can't he just forget about it?
Even when they are alone together, Cisco does not ask.
He is too afraid.
Maybe Hartley just does not want him.
(If only he could see how Hartley looks at him when he avoids his gaze.)
So much happens.
Eobard Thawne.
Eddie.
Ronnie.
It's all so much, and he wants it to stop, he wants it all to stop just for a minute, just so he can breathe.
Everything keeps going.
He has to stay strong for Caitlin, who lost her soulmate a second time.
He has to stay strong for Iris, who lost the man she loved.
He has to stay strong for Barry, who feels responsible for everything.
He has to help rebuild the city.
Sometimes he just wishes someone was strong for him too.
The night the Particle Accelerator exploded, you were affected too.
Cisco is afraid and lonely.
But he can't be.
He has to be strong.
Vibe.
He likes the ring of it.
Maybe things will get better.
The timeline is reset, once again.
Hartley is not a bad guy anymore.
Still, Cisco remembers it. The ache is still there, deep in his chest. The fear is still there, rooted in his guts. The hate too, burning up his veins.
So, he waits.
He is not sure what he is waiting for.
“I think we should talk.”
“About?”
“I think you know Cisco.”
“I want you to say it.”
“Our bond.”
Cisco closes his eyes. It's happening, he thinks.
“Please, look at me.”
Hartley looks as afraid as Cisco feels.
“Do you want to?” he asks.
“Only if you do.”
“Yes.”
When their lips meet at last, it's not fireworks, or angels singing. It's not anything like in the movie, there is no blinding light shining upon them, there is no petals falling down.
It's nothing dramatic.
It's better.
It's home. It's unconditional love. It's trust. It's respect. It's adoration. It's admiration. It's leaving the last piece of cake to the other because they're having a bad day. It's little smiles after an inside jokes. It's being there for each other no matter what. It's leaving notes in the other's research to make them laugh. It's an infinity of soft kisses.
It's love.
“Wow. That was, hm.”
“Intense,” Cisco finishes with a smile.
He is at peace.
Gone are the fear and the doubts and the hatred.
Once upon a time lived two scientists who found and loved each other across time and space.
Life was not always easy for them, but they fought against all odds and they always went back to their soulmate's embrace.
They were heroes. They were villains. They were ordinary people.
They were everything and anything.
The universe itself could not separate them.
They did not live happily ever after, but they lived and they were happy.
Perhaps it is the same thing.