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Blood. There was so much blood. On your shirt, caked in your hair, staining your nail beds. Blood. Their blood. Still warm, still fresh, sticky and slippery. Blood. You’d killed them, all of them. It wasn’t your fault, you hadn’t meant to lose control! Blood. How could you do this? They didn’t deserve to die. You did. Blood. It was all you could smell, all you could taste. You couldn’t look at them. You couldn’t look away. Blood. No matter how loud you tried to scream, it was no use. No sound would come out. That didn’t matter, screaming wouldn’t bring them back. Nothing would. They were dead, because of you.
The sensation of strong hands shaking your shoulders jolted you awake, a startled gasp tearing from your throat.
“Relax, relax. It is only me.” His voice was only a whisper, but you’d recognize it anywhere. Knuckles, your partner, your mate. As your eyes began to adjust to the darkness, you could just barely make out his face, inches from your own. Immediately your heart rate slowed, relief flooding your entire body. He was okay, he was alive.
“What… What’s going on? Did something happen?” It had only been a nightmare. A really awful one, but it couldn’t hurt you anymore. You felt warm air caress your cheek as Knuckles let out a soft huff of breath. The feeling grounded you further.
Knuckles’ voice was soft as he spoke, equal parts amused and concerned. He found your confusion endearing. “You were having a bad dream, kicking and mumbling to yourself. I got worried. I apologize for waking you, I merely wished to be sure you were okay.” As he explained, the hands that had been gripping your shoulders moved up to cup your face, his calloused paw pads rough and warm against your skin. You leaned into his touch instinctively.
“I’m okay now.” That wasn’t entirely true, you were still a little shaken, but every second you spent talking to him had the fear ebbing away. Your eyes were beginning to adjust to the darkness that blanketed the room, slowly bringing Knuckles’ face into focus. His brow was furrowed, mouth curved downwards in a slight frown. It was obvious he didn’t believe you, which was fair.
Shifting his hands to your waist, Knuckles pulled you closer under the covers, holding you flush against his chest. “You do not have to tell me, but,” he started, his tone gentle and hesitant. “I would like to hear what you dreamt about. Sometimes explaining our dreams can make them less frightening, or so I’ve been told.”
That idea sounded about as fun as slowly skinning yourself alive. You didn’t want to think about the dream, didn’t want to have to relive the horrors your subconscious had conjured up. But, looking at your partner’s blurry, sweet, pleading face in the dark, you couldn’t say no.
“It was really bad…” You began, giving him a chance to let you off the hook.
“I think I can handle it.” Knuckles replied. Damn him and his tough-as-nails nothing-ever-gets-to-me attitude.
With a deep, steadying breath, you recounted your dream to him.
“It’s a little fuzzy now, but… We had gotten into a fight, you and me. I think I did something stupid, or broke something, or… I don’t know, but you were angry. You told me I needed to control myself, that I was a liability and that you were tired of having to clean up my messes. You were being so cruel, and I just…” You paused, swallowing hard as your chest began to feel tight. “I lost it. One second we were arguing, and the next… You were gone. Sonic and Tails, too. I think they had tried to stop me, but they couldn’t, and I-” The words got caught in your throat, your mostly digested dinner threatening to make a reappearance. It had been an awful dream. Everything was so vivid. You could still smell the tang of blood in the air, feel the stickiness on your skin. You could still see their bodies in your mind, broken and lifeless…
Knuckles’ voice brought you back to the present, along with the slight sting of his claws digging into your flesh. “That is enough. I understand. There’s no need to keep talking about it.” His words were gentle, but firm. It was obvious to him that talking about your nightmare was only causing you distress.
You didn’t argue with him, in fact you were relieved he’d interrupted you. Talking about the dream hadn’t made you feel any better. If anything, it had only brought the fear and pain back ten times stronger. No, it hadn’t been real, but it had felt real. And if you weren’t careful, it very well could become real. The thought made you nauseous all over again.
“My love, look at me.” You obeyed his command, lifting your eyes to meet his through the darkness. He wasn’t looking at you with pity or fear, only love. “It was not real. I am still here, and I would never say such horrible things to you, out of anger or otherwise.” As he spoke, his hand began rubbing gentle circles on your back as the other hand came up to hold your cheek, thumb wiping away a stray tear. “It’s okay, my love. You are okay.”
The tenderness of his words and his touch nearly brought you to tears again. You didn’t deserve him. This sweet boy, who did nothing but adore you and take care of you and show you infinite patience, must have been a gift from the heavens. Rather than thank him out loud for soothing your fears and comforting you, you placed your hands on his cheeks and pulled him in, pressing your lips to his.
The kiss was gentle, soft and slow, like the two of you could spend the rest of the night like this. Breaking the kiss, Knuckles hoisted you into his lap, laying back so you were cuddled up on his chest. He was warm, almost unbearably so, but it let you know he was still alive. Turning your head, you pressed your ear to his chest to listen to the rhythmic beating of his heart. His fingertips traced patterns up and down your spine, the repetitive motion beginning to make you drowsy.
“A warrior needs their rest. Go back to sleep, I will be here when you wake up.”
With great effort, you lifted your head just enough to plant a quick kiss to the corner of his mouth, earning a quiet chuckle that rumbled through his chest into yours. Resting your face against his collarbone, you let your eyes flutter shut and slipped into a deep, nightmare-less sleep.