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Rui knew. Of course Rui knew, he always did when it came to Tsukasa. He knew which roles he’d struggle with, when to push him, and when to give him space. So he of course knew what it meant when Tsukasa’s face would turn red much easier than before, would purposefully make conversation that led to Rui’s invention ramblings, how he suddenly was at his side at all times like a magnet.
Rui didn’t mind, of course he didn’t. If anything, he was flattered, that someone as amazing as Tsukasa could ever view someone like Rui in that light. It made him giddy, almost; he had never been on the receiving end of this much affection from one person. But Rui knew he couldn’t say anything. He had to keep their friendship just that; close friends and coworkers who were currently walking the same road to get to their dreams. It couldn’t last forever. Rui couldn’t even let himself indulge in a world where it could. But he wouldn’t tell Tsukasa anything, due to some feeling akin to selfishness. It was nice to actually feel wanted by someone, to be the reason someone’s smile gets that much brighter, especially one as bright as Tsukasa’s.
But it was getting more difficult with each passing day. He could feel Tsukasa’s gaze in class, subconsciously looking at Rui when lost in thought. He could feel the warmth radiating off of Tsukasa when they would walk to the park for rehearsals together, just a little too close than what would be considered normal. The way their fingers would brush when sharing lunch on the rooftop. Rui knew these weren’t accidental.
He couldn’t bring himself to tell Tsukasa the truth; that his affections were only one sided. Rui knew he couldn’t ruin what they already had. He didn’t want to rock the boat; it hadn’t been all smooth sailing up until this point, but they had made it out the other side. He couldn’t break Tsukasa’s heart like that, not when he was offering Rui the most precious thing in the world, not when he looked at Rui like that. He couldn’t be the reason that beautiful smile disappeared. He was supposed to launch Tsukasa to stardom, not drag him crashing down to earth.
So Rui let it continue.
He didn’t remind Tsukasa to bring an umbrella to school the day before it rained, so the two were forced to huddle under the same umbrella to stay dry. He sometimes didn’t pack a lunch, intent on working on his latest invention again, before caving to Tsukasa’s words and sharing his lunch together. Rui would listen, rather than look for Tsukasa, until hearing that hearty laugh that could be heard a mile away. Rui would always conveniently carry extra cash on him, so if they happened to walk by a sweets store on their way home and Rui bought Tsukasa’s favorite ice cream for him, could you really blame him? Rui was just showing generosity to his friend. His best friend. To Tsukasa.
The months passed. Shoulder bumping turned into hand holding, the progression feeling as natural as learning to walk. Sharing lunches turned into a game, typically ending with Tsukasa feeding some vegetables to Rui against his will, only because it made Tsukasa so happy. Rui would purposefully sit too close to Tsukasa on the stage while reading through scripts, just because his blushing face was too cute to pass up.
That was quite concerning, actually. Rui was doing things that purposefully flustered Tsukasa more and more lately. He’d lean his head on Tsukasa’s shoulder while napping during lunchtime, just to feel Tsukasa tense up momentarily before resting his head atop Rui’s. He’d pick flowers he found on their walk to Phoenix Wonderland (and would check to make sure no bugs were residing on them, of course) just to tuck it behind Tsukasa’s ear because it brought out his eyes more. He’d take pictures of all the stray cats he found and show Tsukasa, just because they reminded Rui of him.
And every time, more and more often, Tsukasa’s face would turn just a twinge more red than before, so subtle anyone could miss it if they weren’t looking for it. It would dust across his cheeks ever so slightly, sometimes spreading to the tops of his ears, burning red hot like a star. Like the sun. Rui never brought it up, of course. He was the only one who could see it, the only one who ever saw it. It was for him and him alone to bask in; not even for Tsukasa himself.
~~~
Rui felt more comfortable than he ever had before. When was the last time he had gotten such a good night's rest? And since when was his couch so warm and comforting? He made a move to stretch his arms, but instead was met with resistance. Not overbearing or demanding, but a simple weight wrapped around him. What the..?
Rui cracked his eyes open. Indeed, he was laying on the couch in his workshop, the same place he always woke up. But something was different. The weight wrapped softly around him, the subtle rise and fall of his head from something beneath him, the low rumbling of… was that snoring?
Rui glanced up.
Oh.
It seems Rui had fallen asleep in Tsukasa’s arms last night.
Sleepovers between the two weren’t uncommon; in fact, they became somewhat of a weekly tradition. Wonderlands x Showtime would always spend one of their off days together each week, and Rui and Tsukasa always ended the day with a sleepover. They weren’t excluding the girls; in fact, Rui was pretty sure they did something similar of their own; but it was nice to spend an entire fun filled day with his best friends and end it by simply being in Tsukasa’s presence.
But this had never happened before. They had never fallen asleep together… what, cuddling? Rui silently hoped Tsukasa wouldn’t wake up; he didn’t want him to misinterpret what this could mean for them.
But then Rui’s gaze fell on Tsukasa’s face. For someone so bright and loud, he sure looked at ease while sleeping. Like he didn’t have a care in the world. The sunlight peaking through the blinds of the garage window lit up strands of Tsukasa’s messy hair, almost giving off the impression he was glowing, shining. Like a star. His mouth was slightly ajar, and his chest rose and fell at a steady rhythm, slightly rumbling from his quiet snores. His arms wrapped comfortably around Rui, providing him a sense of security he didn’t know he craved until now. Looking at him like this, Rui could almost think he was…
Oh.
This feeling. This warmth spreading from his chest, the way his eyes couldn’t look away from the man beside him. The warmth only the sun could provide, wrapped around him like a blanket. He never wanted to leave. He couldn’t leave. Where would he go? The world only existed here, in this garage, on this couch, just Tsukasa and Rui, Rui and Tsukasa. Like they’d always been. Like they’d always be.
Is this what Tsukasa felt like?
Suddenly, the future didn’t seem to matter to Rui anymore. All that mattered was this moment, and the boy sleeping peacefully beside him. He never wanted it to end.
Rui felt an unfamiliar warmth spread across his cheeks. He buried his face in the crook of Tsukasa’s shoulder, embarrassed, hiding from the star even though he was fast asleep.
When the moment passed, Rui snuck another glance at Tsukasa. This feeling must be what Tsukasa felt. He didn’t know how to describe it. Maybe he didn’t need to.
Rui decided that, when the two were both awake, he’d tell Tsukasa he knew. Maybe, something wonderful would come of it. And he’d go on, being the sole cause of Tsukasa’s cute blushing face, time and time again.
Rui closed his eyes, rested his head back on Tsukasa’s chest, and drifted back to sleep.