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It started when Will had taken care of Nico in the infirmary for three days. He had to touch Nico’s skin to take care of him, but when Nico had flinched away and tried to get as far from Will’s rough hands as possible, Will started taking care when dressing his injuries. He kept his tanned hands to himself, only touching Nico’s pale skin when necessary.
And Nico absolutely hated it.
He wanted to scream, or cry, or both, when Will would try his absolute hardest to not come in contact with his skin.
Because Nico had shied away from touch for years, under the impression that he hated it. The only person who’d ever touched his skin was Bianca, and occasionally people accidentally brushed against him (causing his soul to leave his body—not literally though). It was always unpleasant when his skin was touched by others, and generally no one actually wanted to touch him. He hadn’t experienced touch in so long, and didn’t think he deserved it. It was such a humane thing, but he wasn’t human. He was a child of Hades, who’d nearly faded into non-existence. He was basically a ghost—he looked like one, and everyone thought it when they looked at him.
But Will treated him like such a human. Like he was just a normal camper, like them all. Where people recoiled in fear when they saw Nico, Will gravitated towards him. Where people treated him like a bomb ready to explode any second and open a crack in the floor to swallow everyone whole, Will gave him grins that literally melted Nico’s bones. It felt like Nico became a puddle of goo whenever Will flashed him a sunny smile—which was always.
It was a lot to adjust to, but Nico managed. He became comfortable, but he was constantly reminded of a dull ache underneath his skin. It was demanding touch, specifically from Will. It was all so confusing, but he didn’t know what to do about it. He couldn’t just go up to Will and touch his freckled skin, maybe he could ask? But that’s not any better. He wasn’t going to be caught dead demanding his hand to be held or, gods forbid, a hug from the son of Apollo.
But his body literally begged for it.
Many, many times he’d found himself reaching out for Will’s warm skin, but quickly snatching his hand back. He was always tempted to just cuddle up to Will when he sat next to him, or bury his head in Will’s neck.
Obviously, none of that happened. As much as Nico wanted it, or rather his body wanted it, he couldn’t bring himself to touch Will.
And Will kept keeping his hands to himself.
Fine.
It was absolutely fine.
Whatever.
Nico tried to act like it wasn’t bothering him. He noticed Will reach out his own hands, extend his arms in a hug, or try to touch Nico’s hair, but quickly realise what he’s doing and stop. All because Nico had recoiled from his touch, once. And all because Nico hadn’t touched anyone in years, and didn’t let anyone else touch him.
Yeah, that’s true. He didn’t let anyone touch him. One minute he’s sitting at the Poseidon table (because who cares about rules) and one minute he’s back at the Hades table after Percy’s hand lightly grazed his elbow. Will noticed. Of course he noticed, and he was even more careful after seeing this happen. And it happened all the time.
Piper would poke him in the side and he’d yelp and run away. Leo would touch his shoulder and he’d jump like he was electrocuted. Annabeth would brush their hands together accidentally when handing him something and he’d drop it on the floor in surprise.
What was wrong with him?
It was blatantly obvious he hated touch, but he didn’t hate it when it was Will.
And he had grown hungry for it.
Maybe even ravenous.
“So I think we need to-“ Clarisse started the senior counsellor’s meeting, standing up with buff, crossed arms. Nico was slumped in his chair, off to the side and brooding. No one payed him any mind, and dutifully kept their distance.
Except from Will.
Will sat right next to Nico in his own chair.
So close that Nico could feel the heat radiating off of him (was that a child of Apollo power? Or a figment of Nico’s imagination?) and Nico’s fingers tingled with the need to just touch his friend’s skin.
“Yes, a very compelling argument,” Annabeth called out once Clarisse had stopped talking. Nico had no clue what this meeting was about, and he didn’t care. He could feel himself dozing off, like Clovis, when an uproar suddenly erupted in the room in response to Annie’s statement. People’s voices layered on each other, creating a madness that nearly drove Nico insane. The tension in the air made Nico start taking shallow breaths, his eyes darting around the room. His leg bounced up and down of its own accord. His heart was racing—what’s happening?
Chiron tried and failed to get everyone to stop arguing over each other. The commotion made Nico very uncomfortable. He couldn’t focus, his palms grew clammy, but now Will’s hand was on his knee and his thumb was brushing against his pale skin and gods he calmed down almost immediately.
Instead of focusing on the shouting and chaos in the room, Nico focused on Will’s hand and his sweet voice in his ear.
“Are you okay?” Will asked, his breath tickling Nico’s neck and it made Nico shiver. Will felt the shiver and took it the wrong way, retracting his hand. But Nico’s own hand worked of its own accord and took Will’s hand in his, lacing their fingers together. Will was stunned, staring down at their hands. Nico hadn’t held anyone’s hand since, maybe, the Lotus Casino with Bianca or with Hazel once. Physical touch was fine with Hazel, and occasionally Jason and Reyna, but Will hadn’t seen the boy initiate any sort of touch with them before (except for the hug with Reyna).
“Just—don’t let go,” Nico stammered out. “I’m fine.” Will complied luckily, and they didn’t talk about it anymore.
Eventually everyone calmed down and continued on with the meeting. Nico didn’t let go of Will’s hand, gripping it like a vice. If Will was uncomfortable, he didn’t say it. The fact that he may be bothered by Nico’s grip made him a bit self-conscious but he couldn’t bring it in him to care. He was going to milk his opportunity of physical touch with his favourite human being as much as he could.
But, of course, every good thing comes to an end. Will piped into the conversation, giving Nico a milli-second to release the boy’s hand before everyone saw it. No one had noticed before because the pair were tucked into a corner, where Nico liked being (out of the way and forgotten, he was used to it). But Nico didn’t want others to see him holding hands with Will. The teasing of their relationship was already relentless, and he didn’t want to put more fuel in the fire that was the campers at Camp Half-Blood. That, and the fact that he was infamously known to avoid touch as much as possible. It would be weird. He had let his guard down, showing a vulnerable part of himself to hold Will’s hand. He couldn’t let anyone else see if it was in his control. No one else deserved to see him being weak…
And that did it. He didn’t hold Will’s hand again. He didn’t touch him again for another week or so.
The next time had a very valid excuse.
Will was terrible—ugh, not terrible, just… Worse than others at sword fighting. Obviously he could defend himself, but he wasn’t the best. His skills lay in healing, which he was the best Nico had ever seen at. Will was pretty down about this fact—like, he was completely useless without a first-aid kit or something. He confided in Nico about this, which sent Nico off on a rant about how he was the most important person the world, blah blah blah, without him everyone would be dead, blah blah blah, all that stuff. Nico decided the red on Will’s cheeks was just from the sun.
So this was how the pair ended up sparring together when the arena was free. Nico started with a warm-up, which Will completed with enthusiasm.
Nico tried his dam(n) hardest not to stare, but Will was just objectively hot. Who can blame the poor guy?
Nico immediately started with a duel, and absolutely demolished Will. He had smacked away the child of Apollo’s wooden sword, sending it skittering along the floor. Will chuckled, and Nico smiled slightly. He had noticed quite a lot of mistakes in Will’s approach to the fighting, like his stance was all wrong, he held his sword weird, and he was a bit erratic in his movements.
Nico picked up the sword off the floor, handing it back to Will. Their hands brushed and made Nico nearly self-combust.
He wanted more.
He wanted more than accidental brushing of hands, or arms, or legs when sitting down.
Gods, he could barely concentrate.
But he tried his best to teach Will. He started by showing him the grip on the sword and how to be comfortable while holding it. He fixed Will’s erratic and impulsive movements, and then he got to the stance part.
So far Nico had barely come in contact with Will’s skin, probably because Will was still being cautious about it. It nearly made Nico rip his dark hair out of his scalp in irritation. Was the hand-holding not enough of a sign that he didn’t mind touch with him? Or did Will just think it was to calm down? Or a spur-in-the-moment decision? He wished he could explain everything to Will, this weird feeling, this weird ache, this weird tug in his gut around him. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t admit that he liked Will. He couldn’t admit he wanted to cuddle in bed, have his hair played with, kiss him…
“Nico? Neeks?” Will waved a hand in front of Nico’s face. This jolted Nico back to the world around him, having been lost in thought. “You were saying about stance?..” Will’s voice trailed off suggestively, urging Nico to talk about whatever he was planning to talk about before thinking about touching him.
“Oh, yeah. So your stance is all wrong—oof, sorry,” Nico started hurriedly. He realised that what he said could’ve offended Will.
“No, you’re fine. I prefer the truth,” Will shrugged. “My dad’s the god of truth.”
“Oh yeah,” Nico laughed awkwardly, rubbing his neck with the hand not holding his wooden sword (the pair used wooden swords to not harm each other too bad). “So, we need to fix your stance, because it’s pretty important.” Will hummed. Nico didn’t know how to proceed, so he just got into his fighting position and said, “So just copy this.”
Will copied Nico, but it just wasn’t correct.
The son of Hades huffed, thinking about how to fix it. He let his sword clatter to the ground and walked over to Will. Before he could second guess himself, he put his hands on Will’s hips and moved his body. They stayed there for a few seconds too long, but then Nico gathered his bearings and trailed his hands further up, adjusting Will’s shoulders and arms accordingly. His eyes stayed locked on his own scarred hands, trying to ignore how close he was to Will, and trying to ignore the skin he was touching. His tanned skin was just radiating warmth, like he was a human heater or sun personified (but he guessed that was just Apollo).
And Nico could barely take his hands off Will. They stayed on the blond’s shoulders, not moving. Nico risked a glance up and saw Will staring down at him with bated breath and red cheeks. This brought Nico back to reality, making him let go and walk back, putting a few metres in between them. He could feel the heat from Will’s body lingering on his hands, and something under his skin was trying to make him touch him again. Nico didn’t though, he had way too much touch—but he wanted more. He was scared that if he started again, he’d never stop.
And so the pair sparred more, and Will was improving. Tension festered between them, but Will tried his best to relieve it. By the time they both called it a day, they were back to normal.
But Nico will never be normal again, because the hunger for touch was as powerful as ever. He stamped it down figuratively, letting it boil in his gut. He got through dinner, and the campfire somehow. But the more tired he got, the more he didn’t have it in him to ignore the ache for touch. So what if he sat right next to Will on a log, their thighs touching? So what if that was the closest he’d ever sat next to someone before? It was okay. It was fine.
It felt like his skin underneath his clothes was on fire at the contact with Will’s clothed thigh. He wondered what it would be like without the layers—if this was how it was with clothes, would it be worse without them? Woah, that sounds weird, but it’s seriously not in that way (even if Nico sometimes thought about it a few times, he craved non-sexual touch the most. He believed there was more love in hugs or cuddles than love making).
The next day, Nico felt very out of it. Once he woke up he fully believed he was a ghost, which alarmed him. Had he shadow travelled in his sleep and faded away once and for all? He kind of panicked, but slowly calmed down seeing he could touch things well and looked perfectly normal in the mirror (or as normal he looked on a day-to-day-basis). While he took off his sleep shirt, his mind turned to something else that could be touching him.
Will.
Nico quickly pulled on a skull t-shirt, trying to banish thoughts of touch again. He was becoming used to it, but he knew it wasn’t healthy. He shouldn’t be wanting to make himself vulnerable. He shouldn’t be wanting someone to touch him—it was weird. He was a creep, a weirdo. Why did he want Will to touch him so bad? Why did he want to touch Will so bad?
He sat dejectedly at the Hades table in the dining pavilion. He let his eyes stray from his miserable plate, looking for a particular son of Apollo. The craving for touch was once again aching in his veins, pounding against the walls that was his skin swallowing the hunger whole. He felt ashamed by his feeling. It was getting so out of hand, he wanted to scream. How could he fix this? He couldn’t just go up to Will and ask the boy to touch him? But being around Will in general would be nice.
Before Nico could gather his thoughts and decide what his plan for the day was, his feet had started carrying him towards the infirmary. If Will wasn’t at breakfast, he had to have been working. All Apollo kids got up at the ass-crack of dawn, something that confused Nico deeply. How could they survive like that? Most days Nico fell asleep at dawn (but he luckily hasn’t for a while. His sleep schedule was getting better with Will helping). Additionally, Will would never skip a meal if he wasn’t in the infirmary being a workaholic. Nico just hoped he’d have something to eat in the infirmary.
When Nico stepped into the infirmary, he expected an ill camper or a camper with an injury the head medic was treating. But it was actually empty. He furrowed his eyebrows, noticing Will furiously scribbling something on a clipboard at the desk. He wondered what it was, and then realised Will was his best friend so he could just ask and he’d answer honestly.
Nico stood in front of the desk, looking down the piece of paper. He couldn’t tell what it said because, one, he was dyslexic and two, it was upside down. Will’s mop of bright, curly blond hair also obscured his vision slightly.
“What’s that?” Nico asked. Will immediately jumped, nearly out of his seat, but he steadied himself on the desk with a hand and his other hand went to his chest in shock.
“Jeez, Nico!” He shrieked, his southern accent very prominent. His eyes were wide and his heart was beating fast (Nico could tell because he was gasping for air). “You can’t just do that!”
“Sorry,” Nico shrugged, a side of his lips quirking upwards in a smirk. It was a little satisfying to see Will like that, but then he realised how people his whole life has been terrified of him and his mood was ruined a bit. He tried to ignore it, saying, “so what’s that? Is this more important than going to breakfast?”
“I didn’t realise that we were short of so many supplies, so I’m placing an order, because there’s definitely going to be some injured campers soon, we barely go a day without at least one. But I wouldn’t be able to treat them without the proper supplies,” Will explained sheepishly, staring down at the paper. “Gods, what kind of medic am I?” This was said in a self-deprecating tone that Nico had heard many a time, normally when Will had made a mistake and tried to take it out on himself, or he’d even heard the tone from others around him.
“Hey, stop,” Nico said, resisting the urge to hold Will’s hands to comfort him more. “You’re the best medic. Ever.”
Will waited a beat, continuing to fill in the paper.
“Well, to be the best medic ever, I’m going to have to know what’s up with you,” he said slyly.
Nico’s back went rigid.
“What? No-nothing’s wrong with me?” This was said in an uncertain tone, which wasn’t convincing at all. His heart raced, Will had noticed his strange behaviour? He noticed his longing for his touch? He noticed how he’s a creep and now he never wants to be around him again?
“Yes there is,” Will said, clicking the pen and setting it down. He had finished filling out the form, but he left it on the surface to turn his face up to Nico to continue their conversation.
“Like what? How have I been acting?” Nico asked. He couldn’t tell if he felt scared that Will knew about his disgusting hunger, or happy he could get an answer and maybe even touch.
“You’ve been staring at me more than you normally do,” Will started. Nico could barely hear him, becoming disconnected from his own body. Will had noticed how he stared at him? What did he think about it? Did he hate it? Did he hate him? The craving for touch increased, causing him to look down at Will’s hands and torso, or anywhere skin was visible. “That proves my point. You’re staring right now, but always in specific places. You’re constantly staring at my hands—which is flattering, I guess, but why? If you want to hold my hand, you can just ask. You’ve held my hand before, and I didn’t mind at all. In fact, I liked it—even loved it. I want to hold your hand again Nico; ugh, now I’m rambling. Can you just answer me? What is all this about-?”
“Touch me,” Nico blurted out. The ache in his body was increasing. The need for skin on skin contact was clouding his better judgement, making him say things he’d never say if he wasn’t in this state. He didn’t have it in him to feel embarrassed, because he was scared if he started to feel embarrassed then he would just break down and run away. He stood his ground, looking at Will’s shocked face. The son of Apollo was speechless, his blue eyes wide and his mouth formed in an ‘o’ shape.
“Wow, um, okay. Now? We can go to the office or something—wait, are you sure? Like what do you want? How do you want it? Do you have any boundaries? I’m so confused, wait, we shouldn’t be doing this,” Will hurriedly ranted. When he said ‘we shouldn’t be doing this’ Nico felt shame hit him like a truck. Will didn’t want this. He didn’t want him. He didn’t want anything to do with the son of Hades who just asked to be touched. He didn’t feel the same way. He thinks he’s disgusting, a creep, a weirdo.
“Wait! We can,” Will hurriedly said again after seeing the hurt expression on Nico’s face. “But we should talk about it first. Is it strictly like no feelings? We won’t let this go between our friendship? So, friends with benefits type shit?”
“What does that mean?” Nico managed to say. He’d never heard that term before. Hell, he just wanted to be touched. Why wouldn’t Will hug him, or hold his hand? Or, better yet, kiss him (maybe that’s too far right now, though). Will kept asking questions, which caused Nico to become even more confused. What was he talking about? Was touch really this complicated?
Will cleared his throat. The colour in his cheeks died down. He tried to relax after the initial shock of what Nico had asked him.
“So. Should we just go somewhere more private?” He asked.
“Sure,” Nico answered. It came out more like a question. Will didn’t want to be seen with him, touching him. He didn’t want to be seen being close with a son of Hades. But then Nico scolded himself because he didn’t want anyone other than Will to see him very vulnerable, so he couldn’t blame the medic for feeling that way.
Will led the way to cabin 13. They were both silent, suffering in tension. Will was jittery, and Nico just wanted to hold him and calm his nerves. Will was scared about touching him..? Nico suddenly felt self-conscious about himself. There was no way Will would actually want to touch him. He was a people pleaser, so of course he was going to touch him because he asked. He would never actually want this.
“Hey. You don’t have to touch me if it makes you uncomfortable,” Nico said once they were inside the Hades cabin. “You don’t have to do it because I asked.”
“No, no, I want it,” Will replied. “It’s fine, erm, safe word?”
“Safe word?” Nico asked incredulously. “The hell’s that?”
“So you can tell me when to stop, or if you don’t like something,” Will replied. He was acting a bit embarrassed.
He was embarrassed to be touching Nico.
Nico tried to ignore every thought second guessing himself.
“Why do I need that when you’re just going to touch me?” Nico asked again. He didn’t really understand.
“So that I can immediately stop. Like you say it and I will stop everything I’m doing,” Will continued explaining. Colour dusted his cheeks again. He was slowly becoming more flustered talking.
“Just hug me,” Nico said finally. All of the talking was annoying him. They didn’t need anything Will had said, Nico just wanted touch.
“Oh, okay?” Will said, hesitantly opening his arms, which in turn made Nico hesitant.
“Look, if you don’t want to hug me you don’t have to,” he said.
“You’ve said that already,” Will dry chuckled. It sounded very forced. Was he okay?
Nico just took the invitation, not pondering on the situation anymore. He stepped into Will’s embrace, melting into the warm body. His shoulders were broad, his biceps a bit muscular. Nico burrowed his face in his neck, holding his waist. Will wrapped his arms around Nico’s shoulders.
Nico noticed Will’s posture was straight. He was tense, and not relaxing into the hug like Nico was. It felt like he was letting a big puff of oxygen out of his system, and itching the itch that was festering in his soul. He wanted more touch.
That’s when Nico felt something poke his thigh. He assumed it was just something in Will’s pocket.
He stepped back, releasing his hold on the ever tense and flustered Will, because he wanted to ask if the boy was okay. He briefly looked down, and—
“Oh,” was all Nico could say. Heat rose to his cheeks and he averted his eyes, anywhere but the bulge in Will’s cargos.
“Yeah, erm… What did you mean by ‘touch me’?” Will asked bashfully, also looking anywhere but the short boy in front of him.
“Just like, touch my skin… I guess?” Nico tried saying. He couldn’t put into words what he was craving the past few weeks. “Like, hold my hand. Hug me. Cuddle me, even? Maybe play with my hair?” He thought about what he had wanted when he had said ‘touch me’. Basically any skin on skin contact, just not sexual.
“Oh,” it was Will’s turn to mutter an ‘oh’.
Nico realised what it had sounded like when he’d asked to be touched. His brown eyes went wide and he started to become flustered as well.
“Gods, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it to come out that way. I just… I’ve had a craving for physical touch, lately?” He stammered out. “Like, specifically from you. I just really want to touch your skin, just not in that way. It feels like a burning underneath my skin and can only be tamed by touching you… Gods, this sounds really weird now that I say it.”
“It’s fine,” Will said. “I understand what you mean, and I’m sorry for being so disgusting and immediately thinking of that.”
“No, it’s not your fault. Totally mine,” Nico shook his head, not taking it. “I could’ve worded it better, specifically said what I wanted. I guess I lead you on. I’m sorry. It’s a totally normal reaction to what I said.”
A stifling, awkward silence washed over them.
“Well, I think I’m okay now, but I should probably get back to infirmary stuff,” Will said.
Nico let him go.
Throughout the day. Nico kept thinking about what had happened. How Will was actually willing to touch him, and in that way. Maybe he wasn’t disgusting. Someone else understood him, and his needs. It felt like a weight had lifted off his chest, but the craving still hadn’t gone away.
He kept thinking about the hug. He wanted it again, so bad.
He also thought about what he had said (‘touch me’), and what it had implied. It wouldn’t be so bad, and Will would do it, but he wasn’t ready. He wanted cuddles, like a lot.
So much so that he dragged Will from the campfire by his hand. Their fingers were interlocked.
“Can we cuddle? And sleep together?” Nico asked on the way to his cabin. He hadn’t stopped to ask Will if what he was doing was okay before this point, but the boy hadn’t protested, so he’d assumed it was okay. But, better safe than sorry.
“Yeah, of course,” Will said.
“Gods, I meant sleep together, but not in that way,” Nico quickly added, trying to avoid the earlier mishap. They both chuckled.
“I could tell,” Will commented.
The tension from earlier immediately dissipated when Nico was tucked under Will’s chin in his bed. They wore pyjamas, and their legs were entwined. Will draped his arm over Nico’s waist, bringing him closer.
“I’m genuinely sorry about earlier-“ Will started saying.
“Shut up,” Nico rolled his eyes. His voice was muffled by Will’s neck (that he wanted to kiss, but that could happen later on. This could be taken slowly).
“Okay,” Will complied. Nico knew it wasn’t okay for him. Will just loved apologising, and he could tell it was a pretty big thing that happened earlier. He probably felt bad about it, and it made Nico’s stomach twist in an unpleasant way.
They could talk about the incident tomorrow, but for now Nico was content with falling asleep in Will’s warm arms, forgetting about the day’s struggles.