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"Whatever the case," Caine said, "it's evident now that there's quite a bit of tension between you all. So, maybe what we actually need to do are trust exercises!" Jax was barely paying attention to the AI's rambling, his mind having been elsewhere ever since the day began.
"I'm not falling into Jax's arms, if that's what you mean." Zooble replied, shooting a glare towards the rabbit. Their voice forced his mind back to the present, a conceited smile spreading across his face as he waved at the abstract character. Getting under their skin was something he always found enjoyable, at least.
"Don't worry," Caine continued, floating down into Zooble's line of sight, "this will be a two-way trust exercise, where you'll each have to trust each other to not betray the other person." With a snap of his fingers, a large, featureless room fell to the ground with a crash. "This is a private room," he continued, "where nobody can see or hear you once inside."
Jax was already starting to space out again, the idea of a trust exercise not exactly being something that interested him. Sure, it's fun to betray someone's trust, but that doesn't really work when trust is at the forefront of everyone's mind. A blur of movement snapped him out of his thoughts, finding that the NPC Caine had spawned for his lesson on assuming had decided to leave. What was it's name again? Sting or something like that? Whatever it was, Jax envied it for being allowed to just walk away from all this nonsense.
"And this…" Caine began, holding out his cane and twisting it into the form of a firearm, "…is a loaded gun!"
Now THAT got Jax's attention.
"Oh boy." Pomni commented, staring up at the AI nervously.
"Character A will take the gun into the private room and-" Caine explained, immediately losing Jax's interest as his mind began to wander once again. He still pretended to be listening, lest Caine realize his disinterest and quiz him on the rules, but every word that was spoken was lost in the ringing that slowly filled his ears, his eyes starting to become unfocused as he thought about what else he'd rather be doing.
"Anyway, Jax, why don't you start." Caine said as he dropped the handgun into the rabbit's hands. It jolted him back into the present, staring down at the weapon he had been given.
"Wh—Him?!" Zooble asked incredulously, looking up at Caine in annoyance.
Jax remained silent as he stared down at the firearm, a strange feeling of acceptance washing over him. It was so rare to encounter a weapon in the circus, especially any type gun, so having one not just available, but literally dropped into his hands should have made him ecstatic.
So why didn't it?
He wasn't sure what was going on or what Caine's plan was when handing him the gun, but he didn't really care either. A sick feeling settled in the pit of his stomach as he gripped the weapon's handle, feeling it's weight comfortably settle in his hand. Something in his mind was urging him to continue, egging on a string of morbid thoughts that had suddenly filled his mind. He usually didn't pay intrusive thoughts any mind, but today seemed different. They were louder, more forceful. He didn't have his usual desire to turn them around and use them as inspiration to torment his fellow circus members. All he felt today was…
Resignation.
Without warning, he lifted the gun and pressed it against his temple, using his thumb to pull back the hammer and hearing the mechanism click into place. The cold metal against his head made a sense of calm wash over him, a brief hope that, maybe, he'd finally get out of the circus this time. He squeezed his finger against the trigger, feeling the slight resistance give way as a single bang reverberated through the circus. He felt the gun kick back into his hand, a dull pain flooding his wrist before all sensation around him seemed to fade. He felt his body begin falling towards the floor, slamming lifelessly against the cold tile as the gun fell from his hand and clattered nearby. The entire event happened in the span of only a few seconds, but it felt like hours to Jax. Before he could even settle into whatever counted as death in the circus, Caine snapped his fingers and brought him back to life, leaving him sprawled out on the floor as an uncomfortable silence filled the air.
He sat up and rubbed the spot the bullet had pierced his head, freezing when he realized everyone was staring at him in shock. Ragatha and Pomni both glanced between him and each other, like they were having a silent conversation about what to do next. Gangle had her hands to her mouth, her eyes wide and panicked at the scene she had witnessed. Kinger simply stared at the rabbit with worry, his usual aloof nature seeming to have vanished for the time being. Even Zooble looked concerned, even if it was buried under a mountain of confusion. "What?" He asked as he climbed to his feet, dusting himself off, "I could have shot Ragatha instead."
"Jax," Ragatha began, averting her gaze nervously, "are you… ok?"
"Aside from Caine boring me to tears, I'm fine." He shrugged, trying to hide the growing discomfort he felt from everyone's attention being locked on him.
"People who are fine don't shoot themselves." Pomni interjected, making him roll his eyes in disgust.
"Oh, big deal." He shot back, "Not like it would have worked anyway."
"You know," Kinger began, taking a step towards the young man, "If you need to talk about anything, we'd be happy to-"
"Oh save it, Loony." Jax interrupted, a scowl on his face "I'm not talking to any of you more than I physically need to."
"You… RUINED MY ADVENTURE!" Caine screamed, finally pulling everyone's attention away from the rabbit. Jax quickly pulled his usual smile back on as he turned to the AI, resting his hands on his hips.
"What, I didn't shoot any of them, did I?" He asked sarcastically, "Clearly that means they can all trust me. So, who gets the gun next?"
Caine glared down at him, growling in frustration. "I can't just leave a gun lying around now that you've triggered the circus' self harm watch! I'm supposed to give a whole prevention presentation when something like this happens! I have an award ceremony to prepare for, but I can't do that if I'm stuck keeping an eye on you until you're safe."
"So just don't." Jax shrugged, "Just leave us to ourselves and go work on your dumb award thing."
Caine huffed as he pinched the space between his eyes in annoyance. "Alright, I don't have time for this. Jax, I'm putting you in your room until enough time has passed that the circus doesn't think you're a danger anymore."
"Wait, what?" The rabbit asked, only for Caine to snap his fingers and make him disappear into thin air.
"The rest of you…" he continued, looking at the still shaken characters with a bland disinterest, "just do whatever you want, I don't care anymore."
"Wait, that's it?" Zooble asked in disbelief, "Jax tries to off himself and you just lock him away for the day?"
"Listen," Caine replied, his annoyance growing by the second, "I have a very busy schedule today, so if you're really worried, you can go check on him yourself." Before anyone could protest him anymore, he flew off to who knows where, leaving the remaining five players alone to let the morbid situation sink in.
"Should we, uh…" Pomni began, fiddling with the buttons on her outfit, "go and see if Jax is ok?" The group stayed silent, no one sure of what to say or what the correct course of action would be.
Ragatha looked at Pomni, before averting her gaze as she nervously rubbed her arm. "…I think it's best we leave him alone for now." The doll replied, "I don't think he'd be happy if we pried into it."
"But, shouldn't we at least-" Pomni began again, only for the look on Kinger's face to make her fall silent.
"Ragatha is right, Pomni." The chess piece said, a clear sadness in his voice, "If Jax wanted to talk about this, he would come to us. And if he doesn't, trying to force him to talk will only upset him further." Pomni looked towards the hallway that held their rooms, racking her brain for any way she could help her sort of friend.
"I'm worried too." Ragatha said, drawing the jester's attention back to her, "But Jax is… Jax." Pomni sighed and nodded, slowly accepting the fact that, even if she did go see him, he would probably refuse to talk to her. Ragatha shifted uncomfortably on her feet, quickly trying to think of something to lighten the mood. "Hey," She suddenly said with forced optimism, "maybe we can find something fun to do together. That'll take our minds off… everything."
Glancing back towards the hall one more time, Pomni looked up at Ragatha and forced a small smile, nodding as the pair began to head off in search of something to occupy their time with until the award show. Kinger had also wandered off at some point, to who knows where was anyone's guess.
"Well," Zooble said with a shrug, "I'm gonna see if Ragatha took any stupid sauce when we left Spudsy's. You wanna come with and-" Their sentence stopped in an instant when they looked back towards Gangle, finding her staring towards the hallway sadly. "Don't tell me you're planning on checking on him." They groaned as they approached their friend.
Gangle whipped her head towards Zooble in shock, before looking away sheepishly as she tapped her hands together nervously. "I'm just worried about him."
"He wouldn't be worried if the roles were reversed." They replied as they crossed their arms, "Besides, you heard what Kinger said. He'll just get *!%&#$ if we bother him."
"I know, I know." Gangle sighed, "I just—He's still a person. Even if he's the worst, he doesn't deserve to go through something like this alone." She began to make her way towards the hall, only for Zooble to grab her hand and stop her in her tracks.
"Gangle, you can't be serious." They said, "Out of everyone, you of all people should be the least concerned about how he's feeling. He's been nothing but cruel to you."
She looked back at her friend with a serious expression, taking them aback at the uncharacteristic demeanor. "Just because he's like that to me doesn't mean I have to do the same." She defended.
Zooble paused as they looked into Gangle's eyes, feeling a light blush dust their cheeks before they averted their gaze with a huff. "Fine." They relented, before turning their gaze back towards the ribbon character, "But I'm going with you to make sure he doesn't try anything."
"That's fine with me." She replied, a smile on her face. Grabbing their hand, Gangle began heading towards the hall with Zooble in tow, the pair passing room after room and soon arriving in front of Jax's door. She held her hand up to the door, only to hesitate before knocking and look at Zooble nervously.
"We don't have to do this if you don't want to." They comforted, "We can still leave and do something else." Taking a moment to steel herself, Gangle took a deep breath and nodded towards Zooble confidently.
She rapped her knuckles against the door, the sound of shuffling ringing out from inside. "Jax." Gangle called through the door, "Are you in there?"
"Go away." He yelled back, a clear annoyance in his voice.
"We just want to make sure you're ok." She replied, knocking on the door again.
"I said I'm fine!" He yelled louder, making her flinch back nervously.
Zooble glared at the door and began to pound their fist against it. "Listen here, Bunny Boy!" They yelled, "She's gone out of her way to check on you, so the least you could do is open the door and look her in the eye."
"If I could open the door, I wouldn't still be in here, Toy Box." He called back, "It's unlocked but won't budge. At least that means you can't-" He stopped talking as the door creaked open, revealing Gangle standing there with a small smile and Zooble right next to her with an unimpressed expression. Jax was sitting on his bed near the center of the room, propping his arm up with his leg and resting his head on his hand.
"Guess it only works on you." Zooble said smugly.
Without a reply, Jax hopped up from his bed and began to saunter towards the open door, a smile spread across his face. "Well, looks like you two helped with my prison break." He said, "So thanks for making yourselves useful for once, but I'm gonna get going." He tried to step through the open door, only to be shoved back by some invisible force. He paused and looked at the door in confusion. "What in the…" He muttered, narrowing his eyes before sprinting towards the door at full speed, only to be flung back with the same speed and tumble backwards into the wall, sliding down to the floor. "Thanks a lot, Caine." He grumbled as he pushed his ears out of his face.
Gangle and Zooble stepped into his room, closing the door behind them as Gangle took a few hesitant steps forward. "Jax, I-"
"Get out of my room." He interrupted as he leaned back against the wall, a clear annoyance in his eyes despite his continued smile.
Her hopeful demeanor dulled at his interruption. "But-"
"Get out of my room." He repeated, his smile faltering.
"I-" She tried one last time, only for the rabbit to interrupt her once more.
"Will be leaving." He said, crudely finishing her sentence with a scowl. She looked away as she retreated back towards Zooble, clearly less enthused than when she first stepped inside. She looked at Zooble sadly, before turning her attention towards the ground.
"I'm sorry." She mumbled, not daring to look back at Jax , only for Zooble's hand to rest on her shoulder and give it a soft squeeze. They looked at her with a comforting expression, before turning their gaze towards Jax with a glower.
"No." They said defiantly, making the smile that had briefly returned to his face fall once more.
"It wasn't a suggestion." He shot back, "You and Saddy don't have any business in here, so why don't you two go do whatever it is you do when I'm not there ruin it."
"No." They repeated, crossing their arms and leaning forward slightly, "We came here to check on you, and we aren't leaving until you tell us why you shot yourself."
"Oh, since when did you care?" He asked as he rolled his eyes, pulling himself to his feet, "Last I knew, you would have thrown a party if I abstracted."
"Zooble, maybe we should go." Gangle suggested, glancing at Jax nervously.
"I'm not letting you deflect this." They replied, ignoring Gangle's suggestion whether intentionally or not, "Why did you do it?"
"Because it's funny!" He said, a slight manic nature to his smile, "Watching you all panic and squirm is all the reason I need to do half the things I do!"
"Jax," Gangle interjected, still clearly nervous at his increasing volatile nature, "I just want to make sure you're not bottling anything up."
"Oh, that's rich coming from you." He laughed, taking a threatening step forward, "A lesson on emotional regulation from the walking breakdown."
"Just tell us what's wrong!" Zooble yelled at him, "I saw the look on your face when you got up. You weren't laughing or making fun of anyone or anything like that." They narrowed their eyes at him, "You were upset that you got back up."
Jax growled as he turned away from the pair, clenching his teeth and shutting his eyes tight. His chest felt tight and his breathing was erratic, doing his best to stop his body's trembling from the surge of emotions inside him. Gangle's eyes widened as she watched his distressed movements, going against her better judgment and slowly approaching him from behind. "Jax," She began, speaking as gently and comfortingly as she could, "I know it's hard, but maybe talking about what you're feeling will help. I think if you just give us a chance, we might be able to help. I know you don't see me as a friend, but I consider you one." She reached out to place a hand on his arm, only for him to turn around and slam his fist into her face as hard as he could.
Gangle stumbled backward as her comedy mask fell to the ground in pieces, tears quickly forming beneath her eyes as she looked up at him in shock. He had broken her mask before, sure, but never so directly. "There!" He snapped, "Now you're sad and miserable! You two can go talk about that!"
"What the #^@% is wrong with you?!" Zooble yelled, rushing to Gangle's side and protectively pulling her behind themselves.
"Oh, do you really need help figuring that out?" He asked sarcastically, "I figured you already had a theory."
"She wanted to help you!" They snapped back, clenching their fists as they turned to leave, "I knew you weren't worth the trouble. Come on, Gangle, we're leaving."
"N-no." The masked woman stuttered out, a sad sniffle escaping her as she wiped a tear from her eye. Zooble looked at them incredulously, being met with a weak smile in response. "It's like you said… we can't let him deflect this time."
"Oh give me a break!" He groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose, "I shot myself, big whoop! None of us can die, so you two trying to figure out why does nothing more than waste everyone's time! The fact either of you think you can 'power of friendship' your way into me spilling my deepest secrets isn't just sad, it's downright pathetic!"
"Why did you do it?" Zooble asked flatly, only making him angrier.
He pulled at his ears as he growled, any semblance of his usual demeanor having long since vanished. "Just leave me alone!" He yelled, his voice cracking slightly.
"Jax, just tell us." Gangle said, her tone more concerned than Zooble, but less forceful, "Please?"
"You can't just take no for an answer and leave me alone like everyone else, huh?!" He asked with a laugh, an unfocused look in his eyes, "Fine, I'll $^#%ing tell you!" He took another step towards them, making Zooble hold an arm out in front of Gangle as they shot him a glare. "I hate this! All of it! Everything about the circus drives me insane!" Tears began to well in his eyes as he yelled, taking the unwelcome pair aback at the sight. "I wake up half expecting one of you freaks to have finally lost it and abstracted, just like everyone before us! I can't trust that Caine won't @^%# with my mind again and I won't even realize it!"
"Jax." Gangle said, but her voice fell on deaf ears as the rabbit began pacing around the room, tears continuing to fall from his eyes as he ranted.
"I can't even tell how long I've been stuck in this hell at this point!" He continued, "All I know is that, sooner or later, all of us are going to end up like the others." His shouting began to die down as he kept ranting, with more cracks and wavering presenting themselves the longer he spoke.
"Dude, calm down." Zooble said, more concern in their voice than would have been thought possible to be directed at the rabbit.
"So you wanna know why I shot myself?" A weak laugh escaped him as he asked the question, whether he was ignoring them on purpose or not remaining unclear, "Because part of me hoped that, just maybe, I wouldn't have to be around to see it happen to anyone else. That by some miracle I wouldn't get back up and I'd get to leave this stupid place." He stopped pacing and sat on the edge of his bed, looking down at his hands as they trembled, tears still falling from his eyes. He took a deep breath and steadied himself, wiping the tears from his eyes as he pulled his smile back on, lifting his head and looking at the silent pair. They both stared at him with a mix of concern and shock, glancing at each other as they tried to figure out what to say. "So there," Jax continued, his smile clearly forced and a tired look in his eyes, "you have your answer. Now can the both of you just leave?"
"Jax." Gangle said quietly, taking a small step forward, "I-"
"Please." He said, a uncharacteristic defeat in his voice, almost like he was pleading, "Stop trying to help." Gangle fell silent as she looked away from the rabbit, tapping her hands together nervously. After a moment of thought, her eyes widened as she looked towards Zooble, who only held a look of confusion in response. With a single nod, Gangle turned back towards Jax and approached him, wrapping her arms around him and pulling him into a hug, much to his shock. "Wh—what is this? Stop doing this."
"I'm sorry." Gangle said, tightening her grip on him as he tried to push her away, "We should have checked on you more often."
"I preferred when you didn't." He said, looking up towards Zooble, who had an amused look on their face as they watched him squirm, "Can you get her off me?"
"I dunno," They replied, "I think you might need it."
"I won't let go until I'm sure you're feeling better." Gangle said, looking up at him with a small smile, making a soft blush dust his cheeks as he averted his gaze.
"This is worse than when I was alone." He grumbled, using his hand to push her face away so she stopped looking at him.
Zooble chuckled silently as they watched the scene in front of them, approaching the bed and taking a seat next to the rabbit as he continued to struggle against the ribbon character. "Well, are you feeling better yet?" They asked, earning an unamused look from him in response.
"Oh yeah, I'm just peachy." He replied flatly, finally giving up in his attempt to force the hug to an end.
"I'm not buying it." Zooble snickered, making Gangle tighten her grip around him as he sighed.
"You're enjoying this, aren't you?" He asked, earning a shrug from the abstract character, "Why don't you take my place so I can go throw up."
"You wish." They chuckled, "Hugs aren't really my thi-" Their sentence devolved into a yelp as Gangle reached over and pulled them into the hug as well, much to both their and Jax's annoyance. "I take all of it back. This sucks."
"Not letting go until Jax feels better." Gangle repeated, a slight teasing smile on her face.
"We're gonna be here awhile." Jax said as he rolled his eyes, trying to ignore how calm the situation was making him feel.
"Just shut up." Zooble said, a light blush on their face as they slowly draped an arm around his back, "If you tell anyone about this, I'll cut your tail off."
"I'll throw your parts in the lake." Jax replied, a hint of playfulness in his voice.
"I'll tie your ears in a knot." They shot back, shooting him a small, playful glare.
"I'll push you off the second floor."
"I'll drag you down with me."
He rolled his eyes at their continued retorts, subconsciously resting his hand on top of theirs. "I'll-"
"Both of you cut it out, or I'll tell Caine you brought alcohol back from Zooble's bartending adventure." Gangle interrupted, making the arguing pair fall silent as they looked down at her, before averting their gazes and mumbling apologies, "That's better."