Chapter Text
Episode 1x6 - Tricks of the Trade
Mike didn’t care about disturbing Harvey’s high end neighbors as he used his palm to bang on his boss’s apartment door.
“Hey, Harvey, come on. We gotta save Gabby.” The alcohol swirling through his body made him bolder than usual. “Gabrilini…” His vision was slightly blurry, so when the door finally opened to reveal a lanky, strawberry blonde headed boy, he squinted to get a better look. “You’re…not Harvey.”
The boy’s retort was effortless. “You’re not the pizza man.”
Suddenly wishing that he was sober, Mike straightened up and tried to ignore the wave of dizziness that followed. Perhaps that last round of shots had been a bad idea. Who knew traders could drink so much? “So, is this like a Big situation?”
“A what?”
“You know, Big, the movie? Tom Hanks? It’s a total classic. Or wait, I guess this would be the opposite of Big if you turned back into a kid instead of an adult.” Mike scratched his head as his mind spun in circles. “Although the red hair is puzzling…” He kept on rambling, even as the boy let out a yell.
“Dad, there’s a crazy person at the door!”
Mike’s words died on his lips at the word ‘dad.’ His mouth was still hanging open when Harvey appeared in the doorway. “Dad?” His eyes scanned the two. Even in his drunken state, the identical pair of brown eyes staring back at him were impossible to miss. “Dude. You have a kid?”
Harvey’s face fell. “Don’t ever call me dude.”
“How do you have a kid?”
“Do I really need to explain where babies come from?” came Harvey’s exasperated question. His gaze then moved to his son. “Jack, go start your homework. I need to talk to Mike.”
“That’s Mike?”
Harvey groaned and waved his hand between the pair. “Mike, this is Jack, my son. Jack, this is Mike, my idiot associate. Now get going on your homework before your mom gets here.”
“There’s loads of time.”
“There isn’t,” insisted Harvey, with an edge to his tone. “Remember what happened last time you didn’t get your homework done?”
“Mom wouldn’t let us watch the game on school nights anymore. That sucked.”
Harvey ruffled the boy’s mop of thick hair. “Right. Now get going. The pizza should be here soon.”
“Yeah, but remember how bad she felt?” Jack dug in.
Harvey pinched his nose with his fingers. “She felt bad for you, buddy. Not for me. I had to hear about it for weeks.”
Mike’s ears were ringing, so he tuned out the conversation in front of him. He was sobering up, but not fast enough. He couldn’t make sense of what he was witnessing. Harvey had a son? How was he just finding this out?
Eventually, Harvey won the standoff and Jack walked away, but not before getting the last word in as he looked Mike up and down. “I don’t know why mom calls him a puppy. Puppies are a lot cuter.”
Harvey smirked, but it quickly faded when he looked back at Mike. “I told you not to come over here. You’re drunk.”
Remembering why he came over in the first place, Mike held up a stack of papers. “I have the trades.” He shoved them into Harvey’s hand before he could argue.
“Good.” Harvey had every intention of shutting the door in his face, but Mike’s hand reached out to stop him.
“You didn’t tell me you had a son.”
“You never asked.”
Harvey looked murderous, but Mike continued on anyway. “That’s usually the type of thing you share. Also, you’re not married.” Mike peered around him to get a glance inside the apartment. “Or are you? Do you have a wife hiding in there too?”
“No,” he ground out.
Mike stepped in between Harvey and the door frame to keep his mentor from fleeing the conversation. “But, he has a mom. Where is she?”
“None of your business,” Harvey snapped.
“Who is she, then?” Mike persisted. He wasn’t going to let it go. Everything he thought he knew about his boss was wrong. He needed answers.
“I swear to god if you don’t shut the hell up I’m gonna feed you to Louis tomorrow.” Down the hall, the elevator dinged, but both men ignored it as they stared each other down.
“Wait, do I know her? Is it someone from the firm? Is that why you’re being so cagey?”
Harvey’s eyes narrowed. “I’m not being cagey.” He snapped through gritted teeth. His jaw clenched, ready to lash out, but muffled footsteps approached and a flash of red suddenly clouded his vision. His features fell as he fixated on a point behind Mike.
Even in his drunken state, Mike realized that he may have pushed the man too far. But as he turned around to follow Harvey’s gaze, he bumped right into Donna.
“Watch it, pretty boy,” she teased, and poked his chest with her well manicured finger. Dressed in workout clothes with her hair tied up and away from her face, she looked nothing like the usual secretary he was used to seeing at the office.
Ignoring Mike’s confused stare, she focused only on Harvey. “What’s the puppy doing here?”
“Beats me. I told him not to come.”
Donna rolled her eyes. “He listens so well.”
“He does, doesn’t he?”
“You guys know I’m standing here, right?,” scoffed Mike.
Harvey pretended not to hear him as scratched his neck. “You’re early.”
“My acting class was canceled so I went to yoga instead.”
Harvey pursed his lips as his gaze drifted warily into the apartment behind him. Donna read him easily. “Let me guess, you guys got caught up in the game again and forgot about his homework?”
“We didn’t forget,” Harvey insisted. “He’s working on it now.”
Sensing his unease, Donna took the opportunity to pounce on it. “Which I’m sure he only just started.”
"Well, you're early."
Mike suddenly threw his hands into the air. His head whipped between Harvey and Donna so fast that it made him dizzy. “Wait. Sh…she’s your…he’s your…I mean…you guys have a kid together?” His stuttering was barely understandable.
Donna arched an amused eyebrow in Harvey’s direction. “It took him a long time to get there, didn’t it?”
Happy to have the topic changed, Harvey was quick to respond. “He might have caught on sooner if he actually went to Harvard.”
Mike shook his head. “Really, that’s what you’re going with? Harvard again?”
“I just call it like I see it.” Harvey opened the door wider to allow Donna inside.
At the silent invitation, she stepped forward, brushing Mike’s shoulder along the way. “See you tomorrow. I expect a piping hot coffee on my desk to make up for the late night homework I’ll be helping with.”
“A triple nonfat sugar-free mocha latte with whipped cream will be waiting,” assured Mike.
Harvey let out an incredulous groan, but Donna’s glare kept him from saying anything else.
With a frustrated sigh, he watched her disappear into the apartment. He then stepped out into the hall and firmly shut the door behind him.
“I don’t want to do this all night. Just ask what you wanna ask so we can be done with this conversation forever.”
Mike couldn’t believe his luck. It took a few seconds for the initial shock to wear off, but once it did, he launched right into his line of questioning. “Does Donna live here?”
“No, but my doorman seems to think she does,” Harvey grumbled.
Mike had the common sense to keep his questions quick and brief, like a rapid fire round of trivia. “Does everybody at the firm know about this?”
Harvey’s eyebrows shot up. “How could we keep a whole person a secret?”
“Well you’d have kept it a secret from me if I didn’t show up here.”
“It wasn't a secret. Look. I like to keep my private life private .” Harvey’s tone was laced with sarcasm as he continued, “I’m sorry you got your feelings hurt, but the topic never came up. I’m sure you would have found out eventually.”
Mike knew better than to take the bait. He still had more questions and he wouldn’t get them if he started an argument. “And Donna, she’s single, so you aren’t a couple?”
“Didn’t I just say that I wanted to keep my private life private?” Harvey started, but then suddenly stopped. “Wait, how do you know she’s single?”
“Rachel told me. And why does it matter?”
Harvey shook his head, refusing to go into more details than he had to. “It doesn’t matter," he denied, despite the sudden red tint to his ears and neck. “We were together. Now we co-parent.”
“And, that works out for you?”
“He’s nine, so yeah, I’d say it’s working.” Harvey snapped.
Mike bristled at that. “Your panties are all in a twist because your secret’s out. Hey, how do you even have time for a kid? You’re like a walking workaholic ad.”
Harvey held up his hand. “One, don’t say panties. You’re not a toddler. Two, I make time for the people I care about. We split time with him, if you must know. Now, can this nightmare end? Jack’s got a ton of homework this year.”
Realizing that Harvey had a completely different life outside of work, Mike smirked and patted his shoulder. “Wow.”
Harvey rolled his eyes. “Wow, what?”
“I knew Donna had you whipped, I mean, everyone knows that, but man, it’s even worse than I thought." Mike couldn't help the laugh that escaped his mouth. "New York's best closer, in trouble over homework. This is great.”
At Harvey’s suddenly dark expression, Mike realized that he had gone too far and held up his hands in surrender. “Okay, okay, I’m leaving.”
“Let’s just pretend this never happened.”
Mike winked. “You got it, dad .” He then practically ran for his life down the hall.