Chapter Text
There are a lot of arguments that take place as they build the Edge, it’s not just the layout that no one can seem to come to an agreement on. Hiccup is currently five minutes into listening to the others argue over who should be making the food for their meals.
“You wouldn’t know how long to keep a fish over the fire until it’s already burning to ashes—”
“Guys, guys, clearly I’d be the better the cook, because you all—”
“No, it’s me! I’m the only one with enough patience to—”
“You wouldn’t know what to season something with even if we threw the seasoning right at you—”
He can’t personally weigh in, having never tried any of the others’ cooking, but each of them are arguing that they’re the best cook of the group, and they should be allowed to handle the meals.
As the argument shows no sign of stopping and Hiccup can feel a headache growing already, he finally cuts in.
“Alright! Alright that’s enough. We’ll do a rotation, everyone gets a day to be the cook, and once everyone has taken their turn we’ll vote on who the best cooks are and who should never be allowed near our food again. Sound fair?” he doesn’t wait for an answer before continuing, “Great! Astrid, you can go first.”
“Oh why does she get to go first!” Snotlout complains.
“Because she’s the only one who hasn’t given me a headache with all this arguing,” Hiccup mutters as he walks away, Toothless trailing after him.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
Hiccup manages to make it two bites into the meal Astrid made before he comes to the conclusion that under no circumstances is Astrid ever allowed to cook for them again. He doesn’t say it then and there, because that would be quite rude after the effort she put into this. It went horribly wrong and if he takes another bite he just may find himself sick in the morning, but she tried. Apparently cooking isn’t amongst Astrid’s numerous skills.
The others do not have any issues being rude, however, and they tell Astrid quite clearly that they never want her cooking for them again. She doesn’t seem torn up about it though, likely expecting this outcome.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
Somehow, Snotlout’s turn goes even worse. Yeah he’s uh… he’s not gonna get into that one. Safe to say Snotlout is banned from cooking for good.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
Both Ruff and Tuff are disgustingly heavy on the salt when it comes to their turns, and Fishlegs somehow manages to burn everything he tries to make. Ultimately they reach the conclusion that if one of them needs to be the cook, it should be Fishlegs on account of his food might be burned but at least they can all stomach it without throwing up. The twins however get banned along with Snotlout and Astrid.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
Then, finally, it’s Hiccup’s turn to cook. There’s a lot of grumbling, especially from Snotlout, about there’s “no chance in Hel he’s going to be a better cook than me.”
“That’s a low bar, Snotlout. All of us are better cooks than you.” Astrid rolls her eyes.
“Well— but— Hiccup probably won’t be! Why would he know how to cook better than any of us?” Snotlout protests.
“Out! I’m not having your arguing distract me from cooking!” Hiccup shoos them away, not about to make a mistake because he got a headache from another loud argument between the group about cooking of all things. Seriously, aren’t there better things to argue about?
Now Hiccup knows for a fact he can make a better meal than if all of them tried to combine their skills. He wasn’t very welcome at the great hall, his mother is gone, and his father certainly doesn’t know much beyond roasting fish or meat. So, if he wanted a good or more complex meal, Hiccup had to teach himself. Through trial and error, he made it to the point where he could cook and bake just as well as any of the Vikings who made the meals for the great hall.
Did he share this fact with anyone? Hel no. He wasn’t about to give everyone more ammunition to call him odd, considering it wasn’t really something children his age learned to do. Another thing that would’ve made him stick out.
So, under different circumstances, Snotlout might have been right. But he’s actually incredibly wrong and Hiccup would be lying if he said he won’t take pleasure in proving Snotlout wrong.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
The look on Snotlout’s face when he brought out a perfectly cooked meal made every headache he got from their arguments about cooking absolutely worth it.
“Since when could you cook?!” Snotlout asks in surprise.
“About since I could tend a fire so… for a while.” Hiccup answers with a shrug.
“I didn’t know you could cook,” Astrid hums, and takes a bite off of her plate “This is really good though,”
“Thanks,” Hiccup smiles. “And hey, there’s a lot you don’t know about me,”
“There can’t be that much we don’t know, I mean, we grew up together,” Fishlegs points out.
“And remind me how long it took you to find out about my friendship with a dragon?” Hiccup shoots back wryly.
“Point taken,” Fishlegs concedes.
Hiccup turns to look at the unusually silent twins only to find them digging into the meal he made, clearly enjoying it.
“Well, I guess I’ll be handling the cooking most nights then. Fishlegs, you can help out from time to time. Everyone else, do not get near the kitchen please.” Hiccup sighs. “Your food is… hazardous.”