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The world was maddening.
It was a cornucopia of humans making stupid choices, led by their hearts and by their emotions, hurting themselves, hurting others, and being a certain kind of naive, their cunning containing an innocence too.
Vision saw it all.
He saw the stupid choices, he saw the broken hearts and hurt emotions, he saw the naivety and as he was born, he scoffed.
He scoffed at the idea of emotions being the driving force behind actions.
He scoffed at the naivety of humans, their master plans that hung by a thread and the foolish reasons and concoctions they devised to satisfy themselves.
He scoffed at the idea of human love and hate making choices and not the human mind.
He scoffed at the dissonance in the world: the sheer opposite nature of things.
Vision saw the world in blacks and whites,
in the wrong and rights,
in what was not and what was,
in reason and emotion.
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The heart was maddening.
It was this beating force of life, in him and in her. Except his was hers.
Vision felt it all.
He felt the gentle fluttering of his heart, he felt the thundering beat in his ears, he felt the intense need to protect, he felt the savage lust and as he lived, he revelled.
He revelled in the burn that spread through his chest whenever he saw her with another.
He revelled in the feeling of hearing her heart beat in tandem with his.
He revelled in the intense need he felt to preserve, to protect her, from the world, from him, from herself.
He revelled in the acute lust that ran unadulterated in his veins when he saw a sliver of her waist, or he touched the delicate nape of her neck or his body brushed hers.
He revelled in the feeling of his breath speeding when she smiled.
Vision felt the world in blues and reds and greens,
in feeling and in indifference,
in what was felt and what was not,
in how emotion affected reason.
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The mind was maddening.
It was a confused mass of everything from wood to metal, from logical to illogical, from real to unreal.
Vision understood it all.
He understood how the mind concocted schemes of utter idiocy, he understood how it hung to memories, he understood how it made difficult choices even more difficult, he understood as it attached meaning to things and as Vision survived, he loathed.
He loathed how every single object reminded him of her; the table where they'd played chess, the sheets which they had lain in, tangled, the vanity where she'd put heavy kohl in her eyes every day.
He loathed how he could never stop himself from making up excuses to visit her, and then denying himself the privilege.
He loathed how he could remember every single look he'd given him, her face twisted in fury, her face glowing with happiness, her face beautiful with lust, her face devastated with betrayal as she watched him let her go.
He loathed how his mind gave him enough ways to leave it all behind and escape.
Vision understood the grey in the world,
the long lying chasm between living and surviving,
the power of feelings,
how reason and emotion were two sides of the same coin.
