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All Libbie Packard had ever wanted was everything. The feeling had been ingrained in her for so long, she was still not yet sure what to make of it. Her days at Wellesley blurred into weeks. When Alex the Flirt returned her copy of that infamous red cloth-bound book, she found a note inside requesting her presence in the garden that evening.
As the sun descended under the horizon, a honey glow shone across the grassy knoll near the dinner hall. Her soft footsteps passed pastel-colored hydrangeas. Libbie found her on a blanket resting, waiting, surrounded by crimson roses as they bloomed on the greenery. Candles melted in a warm glow around her.
Alex looked up and met her eyes with a soft smile. “My Nike.”
“Please, you may call me Libbie.” She sat on the blanket close to her, pulling her knees to her side.
“I’ve missed you terribly.” Caressing her cheek, she pressed a kiss to her lips. “Forgive me, Libbie. Your letters have not been enough.”
Libbie's passion rose from her hands as she pulled Alex’s hair from its braid. Alex did the same, fingers entangled in her tresses. The air grew to a steely chill as darkness began to surround them. Neither seemed to mind. The world was only theirs. Though most of the campus slept soundly by now, two young women had not rested their eyes even a bit, murmuring secrets in the dark.
Warm and soft, Alex’s lips caressed her neck, pressing into the crook, holding her close.
Libbie wondered how many girls she had brought here, if she would just be another fleeting kiss in the night. She was not entirely certain if she wanted such a thing or even less from her. There was too much room in her heart for just her. Alex, on the other hand, had made up her mind right then and there. Her heart was so full of Libbie she did not know what to do with it. The rapid rhythm called her name, her hands trembled as she trailed up the hem of her dress.
All Alexandra Trills ever wanted was everything. Certainly, she had been keenly aware of how her charm bewitched many girls in school. Her sweetness had been vast, but they were only pathetic counterfeits. All around them was a riot of colors. Orchids fell heavy with flowers, freesias stood tapered and tall, azaleas both pastel and vibrant flourished from their shrubbery.
In that garden, Alexandra Trills knew she could truly love Libbie Packard. How the girl sank into her soul, into that secret place where no one dared to explore. She wanted to curl around her like kudzu, never letting her go. Deep in the chambers of her heart, some part of her knew this would not come to pass. Loving her would haunt her for a lifetime.
She remembered then, what Mary MacLane said on April 12th.
"I want a human being to love me. I have need of it. I am starving to death for lack of it."
Alex pulled away, gazing at her Libbie. That was all she ever wanted. Her Nike. Her victory. She traced the curves of her face. Her nose, her cheeks, her lips, the arch of her brow. She committed to memory how the shadows from the candle flames played against her blushing features.
The light glimmered in Alex's eyes, and Libbie only hoped she would look at her like that for eternity. This girl who seemed much too tall, whose heart was much too big, she felt like a dream. She wanted nothing more than to wake up next to her every morning, and eat jelly sandwiches and barbed wire. Like lightning, it would be there in an instant and be gone from her in a flash.
Her body tensed, and she turned away.
Alex watched her with a quiet intensity like a naturalist observing the behavior of some curious little animal. Libbie's lithe fingers caressed the roses, working through soft petals. She thought of Alex's body.
With too much haste, without thinking much of it, she grasped a thorny stem. Like the sting from a yellowjacket, the sharp edge pierced deep and unyielding.
She reeled her hand back, a brief cry of pain broke the quiet night air.
“Oh, you’ve hurt yourself.” Alex murmured, joining her. She took her hand. Blood bubbled from the pricks on her fingers. As if a creature of the night, she kissed her miniscule wounds, the iron taste sticking to her lips.
“Will you always be so kind to me, Alex?” Libbie asked. If she could, she would keep the gesture around her neck in a locket. “I fear you may be too much for me.”
“Too much? How can I be too much?”
Libbie did not answer, unable to stand the worry in her voice. She returned to the blanket, beckoning for her Alex to join her.
For that moment they needed not to speak, content enough they were to simply gaze upon each other. Alex twirled her finger around Libbie’s hair as she in turn held her hands, soft and strong and gentle and far too loving for her to withstand. She gazed at her with nothing but admiration, what a beautiful life she had found there that night.
The first drop of rain landed upon Alex’s cheek like a tear, and soon the clouds above began to cry. They raised their heads towards the heavens.
Raindrops fell thick and fast, and before they could gather their wits, they were soaked through.
Joy filled their bodies, the electricity of life and every beautiful thing around them. Tousled hair stuck to their faces, as their cheeks took on a rosy glow. They began to dance together. The two girls were bound in a kiss so tender the world ought to have stopped on its axis and taken note of their love. Alex wished to store the sound of Libbie's beautiful laughter in a little glass jar and carry it with her forever.
No one could ever doubt the love Alex carried in her heart for Libbie, no matter what would happen between them. In another universe they grew older together, but in this one there was a shadow looming over them. Alex had felt the touch of a forbidden love. Soft with one hand, but stung with the other.
Love was an organic thing, it rotted and softened like a black oxford apple. Alex would later have the tendency to bottle up the love Libbie gave to her, preserving it in glass as if she'd ever run out of it, as if Libbie would ever stop loving her. The bottles sat neatly lined up on her shelf. If one were to catch her drinking it, they'd think of her insane. It was intoxicating, to be sure, it made her insides warm and red.
In their future there was a strange if not grand proposal, and there was a school. They would make this school a home for girls like them; and Libbie Brookhants would still love Alexandra Trills, despite everything that would change between them.