Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Cecil dusts the bookcase, carefully removing every one of his husband’s encyclopedias, printed out articles, notebooks full of research, and various other scientific things the Radio Host isn’t quite sure about, wiping them down, before placing them back on their spot on the shelf once more.

He hears Carlos around the corner, humming as he sweeps, his caramel voice, even muted in a hum, bringing him great joy.

He used to hate cleaning, loathed it, but now, since he’s started doing it with the man he loves, it’s become much more enjoyable, soothing, even.

So when they both happened to have the same day off, with their son at school, Cecil was alright when his Scientist suggested they spend, at least part of it, cleaning up the house.

Cecil finishes with the bookcase, nodding at it with pride, before moving on, turning to start on the shelf at the other side of the room.

But before he can make three steps forward, he freezes.

His hands start to shake.

His heart begins to race.

His eyes fixate on the mirror, it’s normal cover torn, by a knife, or by claws, or by small spiny fingers.

Why is the mirror uncovered?

And why, behind the shreds of the thick fabric, the covering that was supposed to keep him safe, does he not even see his own face?

Why is he instead met with the room behind him, yet dark, dim, covered in cobwebs?

And why, for the love of Blood Stone Circles, can he not rip his gaze away from that reflective surface?

Or can he even call it that anymore?

Is it reflective?

It isn’t reflecting the room around him.

Or maybe it is?

Maybe he truly is in that drab version of his living room.

Perhaps what he’s experiencing now is the real lie.

Or, perhaps neither are false.

Perhaps neither are true.

He’s done this before, hasn’t he?

He remembers, in the back of his mind, this happening before.

Or, not this.

But something similar.

Unless, that too, is made up.

A fiction his brain is trying to weave.

Something to comfort him.

Something to concern him.

Something to trick and fool him.

Did something move?

In the mirror, did something move?

Was it on this side, or that?

Did it happen at all?

Is he saying this all out loud?

Can he tell?

Could he tell if he was?

Does it matter?

Would anyone come to save a mad man raving about a mirror?

Would anyone see the truth?

Can anyone else see the mirror?

The world inside of it?

Is he crazy?

Is he the only sane one?

Does he need to know?

Does he want to?

Should he tell someone?

Would anyone believe him?

If he could make his words coherent enough to ask for help, would he only be dismissed?

Is there someone who will not doubt him?

Someone who should believe him?

No matter what?

Does that person exist?

Does he already know them?

Should he remember them?

Did something flash in the corner of the mirror?

Will his mind be trapped, captivated by the mesmerizing shine of the mirror, forever?

Does his brain even hold memories anymore?

Or did the mirror steal them?

Did the mirror steal anything?

Could it have stolen everything?

Does he even want to know?

Does he want to remember the blood?

Does he want to remember the pain?

The shards of glass stuck in his flesh?

Is it better for those memories to stay hidden?

And when did that crack in the mirror form?

Did he look away?

Did he blink?

Was he just not paying enough attention?

Does it matter?

Does anything matter?

Do the memories?

Does the life he had that seems to be slipping away matter?

Does it matter that he cannot look at anything besides the mirror?

Does it matter that his whole body is shaking?

Does it even matter that his breath is ragged?

That his heart is racing faster than when he stared death in the face?

Is he staring death in the face?

His own demise?

Will he die?

Will it be because of this mirror?

Because of a different one?

Is he already dead?

Living people are supposed to have reflections.

Normal people are supposed to have reflections.

To be able to look into a mirror without trembling and sobbing and screaming.

Is he crying?

Is he wailing?

Is he yelling?

Is the crack in the mirror bigger now?

“Cecil!” Carlos shouts, gently grabbing Cecil’s face, pulling his head down, making him break his gaze away from the mirror. “Cecil, are you okay?”

“Carlos…?” Cecil says hesitantly, his brain still foggy from staring at the mirror, confused why his husband is now standing in front of him.

“Ceec, Sweetie, I was trying to get your attention for ten minutes. Is everything alright?” The Scientist asks, his voice full of concern, his eyes holding so much worry in them.

“Yeah. Yeah, I… The…” The Voice starts, unsure how to explain it, before he closes his eyes, taking a deep breath. “The mirror. It’s the mirror.”

“Shit, I’m so sorry, I didn’t know it had gotten uncovered.” Carlos replies, pulling his soft, warm hands away, leaving Cecil feeling chilled. “I’ll fix it right now. I’m so sorry I let this happen.”

He hears Carlos walk away, his footsteps hurried, before the sound of a drawer being pulled out, and his husband routing through it.

Slowly, cautiously, Cecil opens his eyes once more, his gaze being immediately pulled towards the mirror once more.

Until he sees the Scientist stepping in front of it.

A hammer in his hand.

He realizes too late what Carlos is planning.

The words stick in his throat for too long.

He can’t convey the danger fast enough.

He already knows he has failed as his husband raises the hammer.

The swing is already set in motion when Cecil finally finds his words, the voice inside, to shout.

“CARLOS NO!” Cecil screams.

But by the time the sound leaves his lips, the mirror is shattered.

And Carlos is gone.

Chapter Text

Cecil stumbles forward, falling to his knees in front of the shattered mirror.

He’s gone.

Carlos is gone.

The Radio Host grabs a shard of the mirror, holding it up.

If he can just get it at the right angle, he might be able to see his husband on the other side.

He has to at least try.

Cecil grabs pieces of the broken glass, staring at them, until discarding it and picking up another one.

In his frenzy to try to find the piece that might show him where Carlos is he isn’t careful, yet he barely notices the pain in his shaking hands, or the red slowly covering every shard.

He can’t think of anything but seeing his Scientist again.

But eventually he looks at every piece, every tiny fragment of the mirror, and yet he finds nothing.

He sees no sign of his husband.

A sob wells up inside of Cecil, and before he knows it, his cheeks are wet, and his vision is blurred.

“This isn’t fair.” He cries, his words choked, distorted, stuck in his throat. “Give him back!”

Cecil slams his fist into the floor, ignoring the sharp stabbing of glass embedding itself into his hand, before his breath starts to slow, his mind beginning to clear.

He needs a plan.

He can’t panic.

He has to come up with a way to save him.

He needs to go into the mirror and rescue Carlos.

Cecil picks himself up off the floor, grabbing his phone from his pocket, making his way with a staggering walk to the bathroom, dialing Abby as he makes his way through the hall.

“Hey Ceec, what’s up?” His sister’s voice rings out from the phone.

“Hi, Abby, could you pick up Esteban from school?” The Voice asks, his words still shaking almost as much as his limbs.

“Yeah, sure, but is everything alright?” Abby asks. “You sound like shit.”

“Can he also stay the night?” Cecil presses, ignoring the question. “I don’t know how long… It’d be a real help.”

“Of course he can, but will you tell me what’s going on?” His sister questions, her tone becoming more agitated.

“Thanks Abby.” He replies. “See you soon.”

“Cecil, wha-” Abby starts, her words getting cut off by the beep of him hanging up the phone.

The Radio Host places the phone onto the sink’s counter, riffling through the drawer until he finds tweezers.

He fights back the urge to curl into a ball and sob, fights the habit to sit in the corner with a bottle of alcohol and drink his problems away, as he pulls the glass from his knuckles.

If he doesn’t do something, no one will, and his husband will be left, stranded in the mirror world. And he won’t let anything keep Carlos away from him.

Not again.

Not even if it’s his greatest fear.

Cecil grabs the hand towel from it’s rack, dabbing his hand with it, not paying attention to the fact that he’s staining the white fabric a deep red.

He has other things to worry about right now.

Cecil haphazardly bandages his hand, not bothering to be thorough about the way he does it, before he rushes back to the bloodied sharp mess he left behind.

He grabs the hammer from the floor, it’s handle now cold, and makes his way to the bathroom once more.

He doesn’t want to do it.

Every fiber of the Radio Host’s being is screaming at him to run.

To not return to that world.

That if he does, it will end him.

His nerves are racked, his knee is giving out on him, and his hands are shaking so much that it’s almost impossible for him to keep his grip on the tool.

But Cecil closes his eyes, taking in deep breaths to steady himself.

He does everything he can to steady himself.

He thinks of Carlos’ soft hair, playing with it in the early morning while they’re both still curled in bed together.

He remembers his husband's voice, sweet, his laugh full of life and glee.

He recalls the day they met, the Scientist’s teeth like a military cemetery.

He focuses on that night by the Arby’s.

He replays their first kiss.

He calls to mind every precious moment, the faint aftertaste of lavender chewing gum when they kiss, Carlos’ soft hand in his, the glances they’ve shared across rooms, and so many other priceless memories between them.

Cecil takes one more deep breath in.

Even if it kills him, he has to try.

He opens his eyes once more, and without letting himself hesitate, pulls the cover off of the bathroom mirror, swinging the hammer at it with all of the force he has left.

Chapter Text

Cecil pushes himself up from the dirty floor, brushing himself off as he tries to get his bearings again.

His mind is foggy, memories and thoughts a blur.

Wasn’t there something about glass?

Or was it… Could it have been a mirror?

And Carlos?

Cecil tenses, finally remembering the previous twenty or so minutes clearly.

He can’t let this place rewrite his head. He needs to go find his husband and get them the fuck out of here before this reality makes his memories even harder to understand.

The Voice stumbles out of what looks to be an abandoned version of his bathroom. In fact, the whole house is covered in a layer of dust, or sand, or possibly a combination of both, as if no one has lived here for years.

“Carlos!” He calls out into the dim house. “Carlos!”

The dingy building only echoes his own voice back at him.

He checks every room in the abandoned home, disturbing the coating of grime too much before he even thinks about using it to track where the Scientist went.

With a frustrated grunt he limps towards the door, opening it to an upsettingly bright day. He knows that the desert sky is most often clear, the sun beating down relentlessly, but the cheeriness of a blue sky feels like an insult.

Cecil doesn’t know where his husband is, let alone if he’s even alive, he himself has had to deal with just too many mirrors today, and he’s losing his grip on his reality again, his memories are slipping, it isn’t fair for the weather to be so cheery.

The Radio Host shakes his head, forcing himself onward.

“Carlos!” He yells into the streets of Night Vale. “Carlos!”

Heads turn to look at him, and gazes follow him as he stumbles down the sidewalk, looking for his love.

Blood Stone Circles, The Glow Cloud, and the lights above the Arby’s, he should have brought his cane.

“Carlos!” He shouts across Night Vale. “Carlos!”

Cecil has to find him. He has to.

He can’t go back without him.

Carlos is the love of his life.

Their son’s father.

The man whom he trusts most.

The person who has kept him grounded.

Cecil can’t abandon him.

He can’t lose him again.

“Excuse me?” A voice says, tearing him away from his thoughts. “Hey?”

The Voice looks up, seeing the familiar face of Council Woman, formerly Teenage Militia Leader, and his friend, Tamika Flynn.

“Tamika, I’m so glad to see you. Do you know where Carlos is?” He asks, not wanting to waste any time.

“Cecil…” Tamika starts, before taking a deep breath, and shaking her head. “Check the lab.”

“Right, thank you.” Cecil replies with a nod, already turning away. “I should have checked there before.”

He starts staggering away, but is caught, stopped by a forceful hand wrapped around his forearm.

“Why now?” She asks. “Why not come back earlier?”

Right. This isn’t his world. This isn’t his Tamika Flynn, either.

“I can’t explain now. I’m sorry.” The Radio Host replies, unable to look at her.

After a moment, he finally hears her let out a low, long sigh, and the Council Member releases her grip.

“Good luck finding Carlos.” Tamika murmurs, her voice growing quieter as she turns and walks away.

He waits for a few seconds, before starting his own journey to this mirror world’s lab, walking as fast as he can with his arthritic knee.

There’s still a very high likelihood that his Carlos is at the lab.

When his husband is stressed, that’s his happy place, being around science. And he may already be looking for a way home.

The lab isn’t too far from where he ended up, and he’s incredibly thankful for that.

Cecil limps his way down familiar, yet slightly off, streets, the sense of uncanny valley making his head hurt.

But then he finally sees him.

It’s before he even reaches the lab.

Instead, he spots the man he loves walking towards him, head down, staring and muttering into his phone.

Cecil smiles, picking up his pace as much as he can, before calling out to his husband.

“Carlos!”

Chapter Text

Carlos’ head snaps up at the sound of his name, and Cecil can see his eyes grow wide with surprise.

And then his husband is running towards him, shoving his phone in his pocket, stumbling in his rush.

Cecil steps forward, catching his scientist.

“Cecil,” Carlos breathes, slowly grabbing the Radio Host’s face, and gently caressing his cheeks.

“Carlos.” Cecil murmurs in response, instinctively wrapping his arms around the Scientist’s waist.

Carlos pulls Cecil closer, their lips meeting.

Cecil’s surprise is muffled, and short-lived, disregarding the fact that he thought his husband would have rather focused on getting out of here than this passionate display of affection, as he returns it.

Expect…

He can’t help but feel as if something is wrong, even with his dearest Carlos in his arms.

There’s something about the way his Loves’ hands haven't drifted to his hair, or down to gripping his shirt, like they normally do.

Or perhaps it’s the desperation in the kiss, something Cecil hasn’t felt from him before.

Cecil gently pulls away, unable to ignore the nagging feeling any longer.

He can feel Carlos’ shaking breath against his skin, and when he looks at the Scientist once more, he sees that his cheeks are wet, his beard is unkept, and his eyes are full of sadness, tiredness, and tears.

“I’ve missed you so much.” Carlos whispers, his words shaking. “I thought I’d never see you again.”

“Oh, Carlos…” Cecil starts, his voice soft, his heart breaking as he looks at the poor, disheveled, heartbroken man. “You’re not my Carlos. I’m not your Cecil. I’m from the other side of the mirror.”

He can see the light inside of this version of the man he loves’ eyes go out, the pain evident on his face, as a sob escapes his lips, and he falls completely into Cecil’s arms, too shattered to even stand.

“I’m so sorry.” The Radio Host mutters, holding onto Mirror Carlos tightly, letting him cry into his shirt. “I’m so very sorry.”

He guides them to the ground, the Mirror Scientist shaking violently, his choked wails threatening to make Cecil cry as well.

But he doesn’t.

He can’t.

Even if this man isn’t his Carlos, he is still Carlos , and he needs Cecil right now, and Cecil will be damned if he doesn’t do everything he can to ease this unbearable pain.

So instead he keeps repeating apologies, trying to assure him, to assure both of them, that it is all going to be okay.

“I-I thought I got you back.” Mirror Carlos finally says, his voice a plea, words shaking out of his quivering lips. “I thought I finally got to see yo-, to see my Cecil again.“

“I know, and I’m so so sorry.” He murmurs, not letting him go, rubbing his back slowly.

“I don’t want you to leave me again.” The man in his arms sobs.

“I can’t stay.” Cecil replies, his voice soft, barely over a whisper, pained that he has to say it to this broken, crying Carlos, but unable to give him false hope. “I need to find my Carlos and get him home.”

“ I need you .” Mirror Carlos pleads. “Cecil, please. ”

“I can’t. I can’t leave Esteban.” He says, begging for him to understand. “I can’t leave my Carlos. They both need me. Esteban needs both of us. I’m sorry.”

“I-” This Carlos starts to reply, before his words get choked by the sobs, and he can’t say anything, instead only able to shake violently in his arms.

“I’m sorry.“ Cecil repeats, over and over again. “I’m so sorry.”

Chapter Text

Cecil digs his fingernails into his arm, the few inches between him and Mirror Carlos feeling cold.

It had taken a long time, but this version of the Scientist had finally pulled himself together, collected himself enough to not need to be wrapped in the Radio Host’s arm.

“I’m sorry, Ceec.” Mirror Carlos murmurs, not looking at him.

“You have nothing to be sorry for Carlos.” Cecil replies, staring at the sandy street.

They sit in silence a few moments longer, Cecil wanting to return to his search, but unable to leave the still slightly trembling man.

“Do you know where your Carlos is?” This version of his husband asks, his voice still tentative.

“No.” He answers, shaking his head. “I was going to check the lab, which is when I ran into you.”

“I didn’t see him, assuming he does look like me.” Mirror Carlos replies, before sighing. “I’ll call around and see if anyone knows where he is. And I’ll ask Abby to take care of Esteban so I can help you look.”

“You don’t have to, I’ll be okay looking on my own.” Cecil responds, longing for the company, but knowing that if he was in this Carlos’ position, and he had lost the man he loves, then found another version of him one, but one that wouldn’t stay, it would kill him, and he didn’t want to drag that pain out longer than he has to.

“I know you’re plenty capable of doing it on your own, but I don’t want to risk anything happening.” Mirror Carlos tells him, his hand gripping the end of his lab coat tightly. “I won’t try to convince you to stay, but I won’t let another Carlos lose his husband, and I refuse to let another Esteban lose one of his fathers.”

The Mirror Scientist has his mind made up, then, and there’s nothing the Voice can do to stop him. So, instead, he nods.

“Alright.” Cecil relents. “Thank you.”

“Of course.” Mirror Carlos replies, pushing himself up from the curb.

Cecil watches him take a few steps away and pull out his phone, his fingers still shaking as he types.

“Hey, Abby?” The Mirror Scientist says into the phone. “Can I ask a favor?”

He’s quiet for a few moments, and the Radio Host looks away, feeling guilty about eavesdropping, and even guiltier remembering that there’s a version of his son, his sister, his brother-in-law, and his niece that this mirror version of him left behind, even if it wasn’t intentionally.

“Is there any way you could pick up Esteban?” He hears Mirror Carlos ask. “There’s… A situation, and it would help a lot if you could watch him for the night. Thanks a lot. I’ll talk to you soon. Take care of yourself, and let Esteban know I’ll pick him up as soon as I can.”

Cecil looks back up towards this disheveled version of his husband, and receives a nod, as well as an extended hand.

He takes it, his knee protesting as he stands.

“We can head to my lab and start calling people there.” Mirror Carlos suggests.

The Voice nods, wincing as pain flares through his leg, as if acid was poured into the joint, spreading, and causing more damage.

“Are you alright?” This version of the Scientist asks, his eyes filled with concern.

“It’s fine.” Cecil replies through gritted teeth. “Just a flare up.”

Mirror Carlos nods once, before scooping him up in his arms, lifting him from the ground.

Cecil presses his lips into a thin line, wanting to protest, because he has a husband who he is actively trying to rescue. They may technically be the same person, but he now knows that this isn’t his Carlos , and he feels bad enough about the kiss as it is.

“You should let me down.” He says softly.

“I’m not letting you be in pain if I can do anything about it.” Mirror Carlos argues.

“And if I were your Cecil and I was letting the other Carlos carry me?” Cecil asks hesitantly.

“I would be glad someone’s taking care of you.” The Mirror Scientist responds, giving him a gentle squeeze.

The Voice sighs, but doesn’t argue about it anymore. He’ll just apologize to his Carlos later about this whole thing.

Chapter Text

Cecil holds his head in his hands, his elbows resting on the cold metal table, the residual smell of chemicals burning his nose, making his head hurt.

This lab feels colder, harsher, than the one from his side of the mirror. There isn’t the vase full of the flowers he gives Carlos each week, or even Esteban’s drawings hung on the wall. It feels empty.

The Radio Host feels a guilt welling up inside of him again, fragments of a time years ago, shards he had pushed aside, pieces he did his best to force out of his mind.

A creature. A Face too small. A tiny hand. A small table. A drawer. A book. Blood. The shattering of glass. Of a mirror.

“John hasn’t seen any version of me around either.” Mirror Carlos says with a sigh, snapping him out of it, placing his phone down on the work bench. “He at least wasn’t as suspicious about me asking as Earl was.”

“Someone has to have seen him.” Cecil replies, frustration bubbling up in his voice. “He’s the most beautiful man in the world, it’s not as if he isn’t noticeable.”

“Maybe it’s time we take a different approach.” This version of the Scientist suggests.

Cecil digs his hands into his hair, trying to think of any other options.

He left his phone on the bathroom counter, and he doesn’t even know if his husband has his, so trying to call him isn’t an option.

It’s not feasible for the two of them to search every corner of Night Vale alone, not with how Cecil’s arthritis has been today.

The one thing he has is radio, and-

Cecil slaps his hands on the table, not paying attention to the pain from the cuts amplifying, and sits up straight.

“Why don’t I just ask everyone all at once?” The Radio Host asks. “I’m the Voice of Night Vale, this is still Night Vale, they’ll listen to me if I ask them to help me find Carlos.”

“Ceec, I’m not sure that’s a good idea.” Mirror Carlos replies gently.

“It’s the best one I’ve come up with, and I think it might actually work.” Cecil argues.

“That is true, but what happens when everyone hears your voice after years , and then you’re just gone again?” The man begs, pain clear in his voice. “What happens then?”

Cecil looks away from him.

He’s right. It will cause pain for these versions of his friends and family. It will confuse and most likely hurt the majority of Night Vale.

But…

“I have to.” He breathes, still not looking at this mirror version of Carlos. “He’s my husband. He’s my family. I will do anything and everything I can to get him back.”

“Right.” Mirror Carlos finally says after a few moments, before his voice drops. “You always were so determined.”

Cecil squeezes his eyes shut, before pushing himself off the chair, his body protesting at movement. But he fights on, not letting anything stop him.

“I understand if you want to step back now.” The Radio Host says, his voice strained from the pain he’s in.

“No. I’ll drive you to the station.” Mirror Carlos replies, standing from his spot across the table. “It will get you there faster, be safer, and save you from having to walk there.”

He nods in response, knowing he doesn’t deserve this Carlos’ help when he’s just going to leave, but not finding it in him to refuse the assistance either. It’s going to bring him closer to his Carlos, and if it will do that, then there isn’t a choice.

Chapter Text

Cecil stares up at the gray monolith, the sight a familiar comfort. At the very least, the mirror version of his dear radio station has stayed the same.

“Who’s even running the broadcast now?” He asks, not truly expecting a response.

“Station Management has been making the Interns do it while they wait for City Council to find a new Voice.” Mirror Carlos replies, his voice monotone, distant.

Cecil nods, taking in the information, before he pauses, looking back at the man who drove him here.

“Station Management’s still around?” The Radio Host questions.

“Yes?” The Mirror Scientist responds, his confusion at the question seeming to break him out of his detachedness. “Why would they not be?”

Cecil opens his mouth, hesitating a moment.

He hadn’t thought there would be such a large difference. He knew there would be differences, deep in his mind he could remember that, but to think that such an important thing had changed.

To think that in a way, this place could be better.

The Voice shakes his head, not entertaining the thought any longer.

“Time to go climb some stairs.” Cecil grumbles, changing the subject.

He forces himself forward, and Mirror Carlos quickly follows, before snaking around him to hold the door open.

The Radio Host smiles softly, heading through the door, the Mirror Scientist trailing behind him.

The halls of the station look largely the same as they do in his world, and he can navigate them as easily as at home.

What isn't the same, though, is the amount of stares. It feels as if everyone he passes, every Intern, every Shawn, every hidden camera he's pretty sure Station Management put up, is watching him.

Cecil isn't used to being watched. Yes, sometimes he draws attention to himself, and yes, he'll get nods and glances from his employees, but he's used to doing the actual observering, not being observed.

But the Radio Host pushes on.

If it takes some uncomfortable stares to get to his husband, so be it, he'll suffer through it.

They walk in silence the whole rest of the way to his booth, greeted when they arrive with the glowing 'On Air’ sign.

Cecil takes a deep breath.

“Should we wait until the broadcast is over?” Mirror Carlos asks softly.

“No.” The Voice replies, shaking his head vigorously. “I don't want to waste any more time.”

“Right.” The Mirror Scientist responds with a single nod, his voice tight.

Cecil grabs the doorknob, yanking it open a bit more aggressively than he had intended.

The Intern, one he doesn't recognize, in front of the mic jumps, whipping the chair around.

“I-I'm sorry,” They stutter, very unprofessionally, as they're still on air. “But you can't be in here right now.”

“Well, I'm the Voice of Night Vale,” Cecil replies, watching the Intern's already impossibly large eyes get wider. “So I need to ask that you get out of my chair.”

“Y-yes sir.” They stammer in response, bolting out of the chair, and practically running out of the room.

“Sorry to interrupt your normally scheduled broadcast, Listeners, but I need your help.” He says into the mic, slipping into the comfortable seat. “This is Cecil talking, in case you didn't recognize my voice. Not your Cecil, but still, I am Cecil.

And I need your assistance in finding my husband.

If you have seen him sometime in the last two or so hours, send him a message.

Your version of him a text, not the one I'm looking for.

Although they both may get the message, I'm not entirely sure phone numbers work with this, or if he even has his right now.

The point is, Night Vale, I'm looking for Carlos, and I need you to as well.

Thank you.

Now, back to your regularly scheduled radio show.

At least as soon as we can get that Intern back in here.”

Chapter Text

Cecil's hand shakes as he opens the door back into the Radio station hallway, unable to contain his anticipation for the messages that are sure to come flooding in.

“Have you gotten any yet?” He asks.

“No, none so fair.” Mirror Carlos answers, glancing down at his phone.

“It's fine. It's fine.” The Radio Host repeats to himself, trying to be reassuring. “They're probably all just typing out their messages. Yeah. Yeah, totally.”

“Everything is going to be okay Ceec.” This version of his husband comforts. “I'm sure someone will say something eventually.”

Cecil nods, but inside he knows that 'eventually’ isn't good enough. Nothing but right now is good enough. Anything could have gotten his Carlos by now, he's already taken far too long, and he still has zero clue where his husband may be.

“We'll find him.” Mirror Carlos says softly, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“It's my fault he's here in the first place.” Cecil murmurs, pain rising in his chest. “If he's trapped here, if he dies here, not only do I lose the man I love, the most important person to me in the world, I also have to live with the fact that I'm to blame.”

“We won't let that happen.” Mirror Carlos promises. “We will find him. I'm a scientist, capable and resourceful, and I'm sure he is too. He will be okay.”

“Right. You're right.” He nods, wiping at the unshed tears. “Thank you.”

Mirror Carlos opens his mouth to say something more, most likely more reassurance, more words about how everything will work out, but is interrupted by the sound of his ringtone.

Cecil immediately springs into action, grabbing the phone from his hands, scrambling to answer it without even looking at the caller ID.

“Have you seen him?!” Cecil yells into the phone.

“It really is you.” A stunned Dana Cardinal responds. “I hadn't heard your voice in years, I hadn't quite believed it.”

“Dana, do you know where Carlos is?” He asks again, his tone making the words border on the edge of begging.

“Sorry. Yes.” This Mirror version of his friend answers. “Sheriff Sam took him, on account of him being Carlos but not Carlos. They called me because I killed my Double. Or I am the Double, and I killed the original Dana.”

“Thank you Dana, so much.” Cecil replies, unable to suppress a grin, before hanging up and turning towards Mirror Carlos. “He's at the police department. We know where he is. We can save him.”

“Let's go then.” Mirror Carlos responds with a nod, taking his phone back, before grabbing Cecil's bandaged hand.

They race down the halls and stairs of the Radio station together, the Voice’s knee screaming in protest, but his nerves are buzzing with too much excitement for him to not push forward.

He's going to get his husband back, they're both going to leave this awful mirror world, and then he'll never have to look or think about another mirror again.

Chapter Text

Cecil and Mirror Carlos get out of the car in front of the police station, both rushing towards the door.

The Radio Host is so close, he can feel it in his ancient bones. His dearest Scientist, the love of his long life, is just inside that building.

They push the double doors open together, and head straight towards Sheriff Sam's office, not wasting a single moment with the receptionist.

The Mirror Sheriff looks up from a coloring book sprawled on their desk, their eyes growing wide, before they smile.

“Ah, Cecil ,” The Mirror Sheriff Sam says, this version still pronouncing his name wrong. “It's wonderful to see you again.”

“Where's Carlos?” Cecil demands.

“He's right there.” Mirror Sam replies, pointing to Mirror Carlos.

“The other Carlos.” The Voice responds through gritted teeth.

“I'm sorry Cecil , but I haven't the faintest clue what you're talking about.” The Sheriff says, conveniently looking away from him.

“Will you let me see him?” Mirror Carlos asks. “I am a scientist, and he's my Double. Or mirror version, more accurately.”

“You have my apologies, but I don't have the faintest idea what you two are talking about.” They insist. “And even if I did , it would be secret, meaning neither of you would have the clearance to even know about it.”

Cecil pounces on the Sheriff, grabbing the collar of their uniform.

He can’t stop himself as his frustration finally boils over. He’s exhausted, he’s in pain, he misses his husband, he’s worried for both of their safety, he’s on edge, and ever since he looked at that mirror it’s felt as though there have been glass shards scraping at his skull, memories seeping out of the deep wounds.

“ Tell me where my husband is. ” Cecil demands, his voice low, threatening them, his fist raised.

“Now, Cecil dear, friend, you don’t have to be so hasty or rash.” Mirror Sam replies, holding their hands up as a show of innocents, waving them as if trying to wave away the threat.

“ Tell me where he is, or I will drag you to the Mud Womb, bring you before the Gods themselves, and see you destroyed. ” The Voice of Night Vale says, each word being emphasized, even as he speaks them without thought, the danger evident in his tone.

The Mirror Sheriff glances away, their eyes panicked.

“Cecil, maybe take a deep brea-” Mirror Carlos starts.

“I want my Carlos back!” Cecil snaps.

“Timothy!” Mirror Sam shouts. “Timothy!”

A Sheriff’s Secret Police Officer barges in, and on seeing the situation, grabs the Radio Host by the arm.

Cecil pivots, acting on some deep instinct, rather than thought or reason, and lands the punch he had been threatening Mirror Sheriff Sam with squarely onto the Officer’s nose, hearing a muffled crunch, and the sickening feeling of the object, or in this case, for the first time, person , moving from the force.

He regrets the action immediately, pulling his fist back as if it was him who had gotten struck.

Carlos is going to be so disappointed in him. He punched someone in an effort to save the man he loves, and he knows that Carlos is going to bear the guilt for him doing so.

Cecil looks up, his stomach tightening as he watches crimson drip down, the man Mirror Sam had called, Timothy’s chin.

“You assaulted one of my Secret Officers!” The Mirror Sheriff exclaims, standing from their seat.

“Cecil, I really think we need to go.” Mirror Carlos begs, grabbing onto his arm.

“I can’t leave without him.” He replies, turning to look at the Scientist holding onto his arm, his eyes stinging with tears.

“Oh, just take the keys and go!” Mirror Sam interjects, tossing the cell keys towards him, their tone exasperated. “You aren’t worth the effort anymore.”

Cecil catches them with shaking hands, before stuffing the panic that has welled up inside of him back down.

He glances once at the Carlos hanging onto him, before bolting towards the office door, running in the direction of the temporary holding cell.

Chapter Text

Cecil’s fingers tremble as he tries to place the correct key inside of the lock, dropping the comically large key ring, the sound of metal hitting metal hitting tile echoing through the police station, rattling in his skull.

Mirror Carlos bends down, scooping the keys up, and sorting through them once more, placing the key in himself.

As soon as this version of the Scientist turns the lock the Radio Host pushes forward, throwing the door open, a doubt telling him that his Love won’t be in here, that it’s a trap, that he had already gotten himself out, that this was a waste of time and he still needed to find him.

Carlos looks up from the bench against the wall, hands folded neatly in his lap, cocking his head sideways as he looks at Cecil.

“Hello Cecil. I had thought you weren’t here.” The Scientist says softly. “I suppose that means there is more than one Mirror World. That’ll make it more challenging to go home.”

“Carlos, I-” The Voice starts, before his words get choked back by a flood of tears and relief.

His husband’s curiosity turns to concern, and he quickly stands from the bench, taking quick strides towards him.

Cecil doesn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around the man he loves, pulling him close, the faint floral smell, soft curls, and gentle embrace being returned, helping convince his mind that he has found his Carlos.

“I’m so sorry I couldn’t find you sooner.” He murmurs into his husband’s dark hair.

“You have nothing to apologize for, Sweetie.” Carlos replies gently. “I’m so proud of you for coming at all.”

“I couldn’t leave you.” Cecil cries, tightening his grip around Carlos. “I couldn’t let you disappear into the mirror. I can’t lose you.”

Carlos pulls back slowly, before carefully wiping Cecil’s tears away.

“It’s okay now. I’m here, and we can go home.” His husband says softly.

“I’m the one who’s supposed to be saying that.” He responds with a strangled, but genuine, laugh.

“He’s your Carlos?” Mirror Carlos pipes up from behind him. “I just want to be sure before you go back.”

Cecil turns, slipping his hand into Carlos’ as he does so, keeping him close.

“Yes, he’s mine. He’s from my side of the mirror.” The Radio Host answers, giving his hand a squeeze. “Carlos, this is Carlos. Carlos, this is also Carlos.”

Mirror Carlos gives a sad half-smile to his Carlos, and his Carlos gives an apologetic one in return.

“I’m sorry.” His Carlos says, not keeping eye contact with himself for long.

“Take care of him, please.” Mirror Carlos replies, voice low, also looking towards the ground. “He loves you a lot. More than you realize. Make sure he knows you love him too.”

“I will.” His Carlos responds with a serious nod.

Cecil gives his husband a quick kiss, before letting go of his hand, and approaching Mirror Carlos.

“Thank you so much for helping me find him.” He says softly.

“Thank you for letting me see you, or him, again.” Mirror Carlos replies, looking up at him, his dark eyes still bearing deep pain. “And thank you for letting me finally get to say goodbye.”

Cecil pulls this Carlos into a hug as well, holding the shaking man almost as tightly, his nose stinging as he starts to cry once more.

“Carlos,” Cecil whispers, his words hushed. “Please, let yourself be happy again. You don’t need to move on, but don’t wait for me to come back for you to live. I don’t want that. No version of me would ever want that.”

Mirror Carlos nods, not giving him a response aside from that.

He can only hope he’s given this version some closure, allowing him to be free from the pain.

But Cecil also knows that isn’t always how grief works.

Still, it’s all he can do.

He had to try.

Eventually Mirror Carlos pulls away, wiping his cheeks, before giving him a wavering smile. He does his best to return it, sweeping away his own tears, before turning back to his Carlos.

Carlos looks up from the hem of his lab coat, which he seemed very interested in, and glances between the two.

Cecil gives him a small nod, and he steps forward, taking his hand once more.

“I suppose it’s time for you two to find a mirror.” Mirror Carlos says, seemingly to himself more than to the couple.

“Goodbye Carlos.” Cecil says softly.

“Goodbye Cecil.” Mirror Carlos replies. “Goodbye Carlos.”

“Bye.” His Carlos responds, waving awkwardly.

Chapter Text

Cecil curls into the corner of the couch, his couch, watching as Carlos, his Carlos , clears away the broken glass of the mirror.

He has to keep reminding himself that they did make it back through the mirror, that they’re home, that they’re both safe.

His body is still tense, ready to be met with danger, he’s still on high alert, as if he’s not sitting safe at home.

“I’ll take the other mirrors down later and get rid of them.” Carlos says as he pours the dustpan full of shards of glass into the trash. “There’s no reason for us to keep them.”

“Yeah, that’s a good idea.” Cecil murmurs, curling his legs closer, glancing back towards the empty frame.

His husband watches him for a moment, before slowly, almost cautiously, approaching him, gently pushing hair away from his face.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Carlos asks softly.

Cecil just shakes his head.

The Scientist doesn’t reply, just sits down next to him, wrapping a comforting arm around his shoulders.

The Radio Host lays his head on his husband’s chest, the slow rise and fall of his breathing a simple yet effective comfort.

Slowly, Cecil can feel his body relax, the deep-seated fear dissipating. He’s safe. He’s home. He has Carlos. Nothing can get to them now . There isn’t a mirror in sight. He can let himself breathe.

“Carlos, there’s something I need to tell you.” Cecil says, his voice low.

“What’s up Hun?” Carlos asks, his tone a mix of curiosity and concern.

“I…” He starts, before pausing, taking a deep breath of steady himself. “I accidentally kissed the mirror version of you.”

Carlos is silent for a few moments, and Cecil’s face starts to heat, as tears well up, making his vision blur.

He would never kiss someone who isn’t his Carlos on purpose, he wouldn’t even think about it. He loves his husband more than anyone else in the world, in any world, universe, or timeline, and he doesn’t need or want anything or anyone more.

“I’m so sorry.” Cecil blubbers, his words tumbling out, tears spilling onto his cheeks. “I-I didn’t know. When I saw him, I thought he was you, and then he rushed over and kissed me, and if I had known I wouldn’t have. I-I would never. I love you, and I’m so so sorry.”

“Was it at least a good kiss?” Carlos finally asks, his words vibrating through his chest.

“Well, it wasn’t bad. He is you , after all.” He mutters, his face certainly a bright shade of red, tears still flooding his face.

He has to be honest with his husband, even if it hurts. Carlos deserves the truth, and he won’t lie to him.

“Ceec, Babe, it’s okay.” Carlos says, gently making Cecil look up at him, those deep brown eyes not showing any sign of malice or hurt. “It was an accident, you didn’t know. And you worked so hard to bring me home, I could never doubt that you would choose me.”

“I know, but I feel bad-” Cecil starts.

“Cecil, listen to me.” Carlos interrupts, a firm hand on his shoulder, a soft one holding his cheek. “I don’t blame you. I’m not angry at you. It’s okay. I promise.”

Cecil nods, trying to pull himself together and stop crying. Blood Stone Circles, he doesn’t deserve this man.

Carlos carefully wipes his tears away, and he manages a wavering smile.

Eventually they both sit up, still close, but giving the Radio Host room to breath and collect himself. He closes his eyes, focusing on the small things, the texture of his clothes, the sound of Carlos’ steady breathing, the temperature of the air around him, in an attempt to steady himself.

“Feeling better?” Carlos asks gently.

“Yes, thank you.” He replies, opening his eyes once more, and looking towards the floor, muttering his next words mainly to himself. “I do think your kisses are better.”

He hears Carlos laugh next him, and he turns to see the Scientist smiling at him.

“We could always test that, to be certain.” His husband suggests, an amused glint in his eye. “For scientific reasons, of course.”

“Mhm, of course, it’s totally for science.” Cecil responds, his smile becoming more certain. “I’m sure you don’t have any other reason you want to kiss your husband.”

“Is that a yes?” Carlos asks, raising one of his perfect eyebrows.

“Always.” Cecil answers, the worry and guilt he had felt only a few moments ago now fully dispelled.

Carlos pulls Cecil forward, one hand making it’s way into the Voice’s hair, the other arm wrapping around his waist, holding him.

Cecil grabs onto the Scientist’s lab coat, gently running his thumb across his husband’s perfect jaw with his other hand.

If they are genuinely comparing the kisses, then this one is gentler. There isn’t a desperation, or an underlying fear. It’s a kiss purely between two people who love each other very much.

To Cecil, it feels like safety. Like home.

There’s the hint of that lavender gum Carlos has had the habit of chewing ever since Cecil has known him. His hand feels more than familiar pressed against his back, and the way his fingers tangle in Cecil’s hair is as natural as it’s been for years. He finds his Carlos’ lab coat to be softer, his beard shorter, better kept.

Cecil slowly pulls away, still lingering close, just far enough to fully get his breath back.

Carlos looks at him, thick long lashes framing eyes that look at him, not as the Voice of Night Vale, or as a different version of his husband, but as simply the man he loves.

“Did I win?” Carlos asks, his voice low.

“Oh, you most certainly did.” Cecil answers, his words barely above a whisper. “But you also give the best kisses in the world, so it’s not exactly a fair fight.”

“It’s a fight between me and myself, I’m not sure it can get any more fair.” His husband giggles. “And I doubt I’m the best kisser in the world, you’re just biased.”

“I may be biased, but that doesn’t mean I’m not correct.” He responds, running his fingers down to Carlos’ collarbone.

Carlos smiles at him, before leaning over, giving him a kiss on his cheek.

“I love you Cecil.” Carlos murmurs.

“I love you too Carlos.” Cecil replies.