Work Text:
BELLE
When I first met Joni, I thought she was the most Objectionable girl I’d ever seen. Her unruly hair was totally insulting - I didn’t think she’d stripped it once - her nose was wide and messily freckled, her eyebrows untamed, her lips chapped and, worst of all, her posture was dreadful.
But now, after we’ve kissed, I only see beauty. Her hair is wild but it shines. Her freckles are like stars dotted on her face. Her eyebrows frame her dark eyes so they dazzle. Her lips are softer than they seem, and taste of whipped cream and berries. Her posture is still dreadful, but in a kind of adorable way.
None of this compares to her beauty inside, though. Her heart beams with kindness and her mind is razor-sharp— what did I do to deserve her?
I don’t ask her this: I’m too scared she’ll start doubting herself.
Joni is laughing now.
“What’s so funny?” I ask her.
“You. And me. I never thought we would be…” My heart leaps but I hide it well. “…friends.”
My heart sinks. We just shared the most precious moment of my life and she thinks I want us to stay friends.
“Yeah.” I force a laugh and sit up. “All my other friends kind of suck.”
“Especially Damian.” Joni lets out a real laugh, still laying down. “I can’t believe you’re Linked.”
Neither can I.
“He’s an arsehole. No, worse than that. He’s the human embodiment of SATAN.” My palms are sweating. I’m desperate for her to know how much I hate him.
“If Satan went to school and watched Smut in Geography.”
Smut. That reminds me…
“The Ceremony’s so close…” I whine. “You know what that means for us two.”
A moment passes where something flickers over her beautiful face.
“You and Damian…”
I nod and pull on my lips with my fingers, remembering what they did just a few minutes ago. The maybe-mistake I made.
Joni just looks at the ceiling. “You’re not going to tell anyone, are you? About what we just…”
I shake my head, feeling the hurricane in my stomach climb its way up to my head. The air around me sways and I feel so incredibly faint.
“Of course not,” I squeak, “because I’m not….I don’t usually like….”
I’ve said too much. Joni folds her arms into her chest and a part of me crumbles. She doesn’t feel the same. I’ve given myself away and she can’t give anything back. I don’t blame her, to be honest. I’ve always been so nasty to her, and then suddenly, entirely on my terms, I kiss her and expect her to want me? I’m ridiculous.
“I’m really tired, Belle. I think I should try and sleep.” She croaks, her voice fragile. I wish I could read her mind. I wish I could have read her mind from the beginning.
We climb into separate beds and the light is switched off.
Tossing over, I curse myself for the kiss, then recall how amazing it felt.
You could be so happy, Belle.
JONI
When Belle kissed me, everything I’d been doubting about myself - my mind, my heart, my identity - was proven right. It was pure bliss, the cocoa embrace making me feel safer than ever before.
She is still so Pretty without her Mask on. I wonder whether she’d consider dialling it back a bit, especially now she’s Awake. Or is it such a part of her life now, it’s hard to let go?
I think she’s fallen asleep; I can’t hear her shuffling around anymore. I quietly step to the bathroom to pee, wishing I hadn’t been such a dick at the end of our chat. Truth is, I’d been wanting her to kiss me for far too long, and it was exactly as I imagined and more. I just couldn’t stand her complaining about Linking with Damian. If she really didn’t want to, she didn’t have to.
It’s her choice.
Stupid Doctrine. Infiltrating my vocabulary like I’m a follower. Like I’m a mindless Pretty.
Of course it wasn’t her choice. But who else would her choice have been? I dare to imagine her choosing me, and us winning the Ceremony together. A former Pretty, rejecting the Doctrine, and the Objectionable that Awakened her. Linked and crowned. The scandal!
When I get back into bed, I feel even worse. Belle practically confessed her feelings, and I ignored her. I just know that she hates me now.
Imagine if I’d told the truth.
I really like you, Belle.
I really like you too.
You could be so happy, Joni.