Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Atsushi finally has a job.

Ever since he aged out of the orphanage, he’s struggled finding one. Most kids start work at 16, but since he wasn’t allowed in the orphanage (at least, not for money), he has no resume to speak of.

He got an apartment with the help of the government, and is on public assistance, but he still needs money for enough food and hopefully, saving up for college. 

Maybe even a car, so he can actually use the car wash he now works at. The Automobile Cleaning Agency. ACA.

He got recommended for the job at the cash register of Depanneur of Angels, but most just call it Angel’s. It’s a small convenience store right next to the ACA and two blocks away from his house, much closer than any grocery store, so Atsushi often ends up relying on their ramen when he can’t afford Rakuten Mart. As he gets up to the cash register he sees a very, very dark (almost black) brown-haired man chatting up the cashier, a raven-haired man with a nametag reading Fyodor. 

“Rook fx6.”

“G fx6.”

“Rook xf6.”

“Queen g8.”

“Bishop c4.”

“King h8.”

“Queen f4.”

“Rats,” curses Fyodor, “Good game, Osamu. I see you‘re still more than just a pretty face.”

“But of course! And your intellect is just as stunning as you are.”

They smile, squinting at each other, and something about it seems almost unnerving. Like they’re evaluating, measuring something behind each other’s eyes.

“Um, excuse me,” Atsushi shyly speaks up, “Are you guys hiring?”

Fyodor starts to answer, but the man, Osamu , interrupts him with fervor. 

“The ACA is! Come with me, we’ll get you hired right here and now!”

Fyodor shoots Osamu a venomous glare. 

“We need more people too, you know?”

But Osamu is already grabbing Atsushi by the wrist and tugging him out of the store.

“Too bad, so sad, I got him first!” Osamu yells over his shoulder as he pushes Atsushi out of the store and toward the car wash.

He gets Atsushi to log into his indeed account and apply for the position, telling him to come back for an interview in a week.

It’s then that Atsushi meets the intimidating figure that is Fukuzawa. 

He stares Atsushi down for a minute before asking, “Are you willing to work?”

“Yes?” Atsushi says, almost questioningly. It’s pretty obvious he is, considering he’s asking for a job.

“Are you going to come in when you’re scheduled?” Fukuzawa sounds absolutely exasperated saying this.

“Yes?” Atsushi is even more confused. Duh, he’s going to come in.

“When can you start?”

What? 

“What?” Atsushi asks, dumbfounded.

It can’t be that easy.

“When can you start?” Fukuzawa repeats.

It’s that easy .

Months upon months of desperately searching for a job, and now he has one in mere minutes. Well, more like a week, considering he had to wait a bit for the actual interview. But still.  

It’s that easy.

But now he’s telling Fukuzawa he’s free pretty much anytime and that he can start immediately. Fukuzawa calls him on that and has him start the next day.

The night leading up to the job is restless. Atsushi is so worried he’ll somehow fuck it up right away and never get a job again. He’s too tense to sleep and too tired to make himself some chamomile tea, so he opts to stew in his thoughts until he finally, finally, drifts off to sleep.

The next day comes, and Atsushi is tired. Bone-deep. He feels like he’s about to collapse as he walks to work, stopping when he reaches Fukuzawa.

“Dazai, you teach him. You were the one that found him afterall.” Fukuzawa assigns.

“Do I haaavvee toooo,” Osamu, or (as Atsushi is realizing that Osamu must be his given name, so more appropriately,) Dazai, whines like a little kid.

“It’ll be good for you. You’ll have something to do that isn’t slacking off.”

“ Urrgggghhhh. ” Dazai groans. He leans forward then back, vaulting himself out of the chair with the momentum of his movements. Everything he does is dramatic, over the top, Atsushi finds. 

“Come on. Follow me.” Dazai gestures at Atsushi to follow without actually looking at him.

He takes him out of the office and to the actual wash, tagging out a woman with a butterfly hairpin. She looks relieved as all hell, shoulders physically sagging as she goes to the little office to rest.

Fukuzawa leaves as Dazai waves the next car in, a cacophony of engines as every car in the line moves forward in time with his leave. The sounds fill Atsushi’s ears, trickling into every nook and cranny of his body until he’s buzzing and full of noise.

“So!” Dazai starts, startling Atsushi out of his thoughts. “This button,” he presses number 14 on the little gadget sitting atop a small standee, “gets rid of the top brush! Push it if it looks extra shiny up there.” 

He points to the wall, where a sign with what all the numbers mean resides. “It also says so up here, so don’t worry about remembering it, at least not for now. There’s a bunch of other buttons and their meanings here too, but they don’t really matter.” 

Atsushi is soon to find out that they really, really, do matter.

“This button!” Dazai trills theatrically, pointing with his whole body at the biggest button, one with the image of a car on it, “Starts the wash!”

He smashes it. 

A loud beep shakes its way through Atsushi’s ears making its way through Atsushi’s whole body. Then, some equally loud whirring and startup noises begin. It takes a minute before the car is jolted forward in small increments by the rollers in the floor. Atsushi gets lost watching the movement of those and of the water rushing underneath the grid the cars ride over, a drain of sorts for all the water in the wash. 

“The wash likes it rough, like me, so don’t be gentle pressing the button,” Dazai continues, paying no mind to the rising blush in Atsushi's cheeks at his brazenness, “then it won’t work. And then you won’t work!” He turns to face Atsushi for the first time since entering the wash at this statement, and widens his eyes and splays his fingers into jazz hands, making an almost comical face that does not match the pit that grows in Atsushi’s stomach hearing those words.

“Welp, I think you’re ready now! I did my part, now I gotta gooooo,” he scrunches up his face at the sheer fear in Atsushi’s eyes at that sentiment, “I know, don’t cry, it won’t be long before you’re cursed with my presence again.”

Atsushi's breaths are coming in shallow. He wants to call after Dazai, but he can’t even open his mouth. 

He stands there, hyperventilating, vision blurring and distorting, for what feels like hours. 

I can’t do this.

I don’t know what I’m doing.

I’m going to fuck up then I’m going to lose the job and then I’ll never be able to work again I’ll never be able to study botany or biology or history or literature because I’m too damn useless to be able to follow simple instructions—

A car’s honk rips him out of his thoughts. 

He forcibly steadies his breath, no longer lost in the vortex of it all. 

He can do this. 

These were simple instructions.

Just wave the car in, make sure they’re ready, and press the button.

That’s…actually pretty easy. 

Cool washes over him. He can do this. 

The car honks again before he waves it in, and he presses the button, watching it roll off in a trance. 

See? Easy. 

He suddenly realizes he has no clue how long to wait before letting the next one in. An icy spike pierces straight through his heart.

He sees the rollers still popping up, so he waits. And waits. And another car honks, and he feels it in his shoulders, shaking him. And he waits. 

And finally after what seems like forever the rollers stop popping up. So he waves the next car in and follows the formula.

The cold dissipates.

Okay. I got this.

Another car rolls through, no issues spotted.

I got this!

And the next car drives up. And stops. And Atsushi is waving them in. But it stays stopped. 

And suddenly the woman with the gold butterfly pin rushes to the scene, and Atsushi is looking down into the wash and suddenly his jaw goes slack. 

The cars aren’t just crashing into each other. They’re rocking, grinding, into each other. 

Atsushi finally has a job.

And now he’s going to lose it.

The woman slams on an unlabeled button on the standee and runs to the first car.

Atsushi’s heart drops to the floor. 

Fuck. 

He fucked up. He fucked up big time. And now he’s losing his job and his livelihood and now he’ll never be a botanist and fuck where is his next meal coming from fuck—

He feels hands hover over his shoulders, not quite touching, a grounding presence. 

“Breathe, sweetheart.”

He breathes. Deep, “in one, two, three, out one, two, three, there we go darling that’s it.”

He takes a shuddering breath. 

“Just breathe in time with me.” The woman speaks, voice low and melodic, bending down with her hands on her knees to be face to face with him.

“What—what happened?” He asks shakily.

“The elevated rack over the truck bed got caught.” She continues softly, “did you hit the top brush and truck bed?”

“...No, was I supposed to?” Atsushi manages to weakly get out.

The woman looks to the side and curses Dazai under her breath. “Can’t do anything right I swear –” she mutters before looking back at Atsushi. “You’re supposed to hit the top brush, or 14, when anything juts out of the car more than 5 inches. And you’re supposed to hit the 11 when there’s a truck bed. And 12 when there’s a hitch. If there’s something big in the back that can easily get stuff caught on it, hit both 11 and 12. Generally, if there’s anything in any area that can get caught, hit the corresponding number on the pad.”

“What is 1-9?” They’re not labeled on the wall, so it’s a fair question. Right? 

“1-4 is what wash type they’re getting. If it’s a 4, don’t hose them down.”

“Hose them down?”

The woman looks behind her at Dazai, snug in the office chair as seen through the window.

She glares at him, and if looks could kill, this would be it.

Somehow, Dazai smirks and waves lazily, almost mockingly, at her.

She shakes her head as if to clear it of murderous thoughts and intentions before turning her gaze back to Atsushi.

“So, when the car pulls up to the tunnel,” Atsushi figures this is what they call the actual wash, “you check for a hitch and anything in the truckbed first . If there’s a truck with something in its bed, direct them out of the wash to take it out. Unless it’s a bin or battery or anything that won’t easily blow out. Then you hose them off in the front. Once you’ve got that out of the way, check if they’re ready then hit the necessary buttons and start the wash. This makes the wait seem like less time, so you can keep hosing off the front and back while the wash gears up. Unless it’s wash number 4. Then you just make them wait with nothing happening. It’s the cheapest wash, so we don’t do anything special for them.”

“What are numbers 5-9?” 

“9 means they asked for something extra, usually something like taking the tire shine off. 5-8 doesn't mean anything. They’re just there because the company bought the wash control pad off amazon business in bulk. It’s not specific to any particular car wash.”

She straightens. “Now, I’m going to go get the top brush unstuck. You gonna be okay on your own for a minute?” 

Atsushi swallows. His throat is very, very dry. “Yes.” 

“Good. Dazai– ” she glowers at him as she says this, “will get these next few cars done. You, go home for the day. We can teach you how to close tomorrow. Sound good?”

“Yes,” Atsushi chokes out, and before he loses his nerve, asks, “What’s your name?”

The woman looks almost shocked before slapping her hand to her head, murmuring of course before answering his question. 

“Yosano. My name is Yosano Akiko.” she smiles, “But you can call me Yo-san.”

Atsushi inhales sharply, like he can't get enough air.

Yosano nods at him before going into the backroom behind the office, throwing her earplugs and protective glasses (was he supposed to be wearing those?) at Dazai on the way. Dazai looks offended. Eventually, the wash starts again, and Atsushi can finally breathe again because it works. Yosano is there to wave goodbye at him as he walks home, and he smiles on the way.

He's still worried he's going to lose his job, but hopeful.

And hope is a dangerous thing.

Chapter Text

The first few hours of his second-ever shift go by uneventfully. Yosano is there, and Dazai is too. Yosano makes him apologize, which makes Atsushi uncomfortable, because he feels like Dazai doesn’t really need to apologize. It was his fault for not understanding.

At first, he’s slow, but eventually he gets in the swing of things. The toughest part is knowing when customers are ready. Whether or not one hand up means stop or go is always difficult to figure out. Somehow, Yosano knows when he’s nervous, and always reassures him he’s doing a good job. 

“You’re doing great, kid! Don’t spray down the car right now, it’s busy. You got that?” She shouts from the office. 

Atsushi gives her a big thumbs up. 

“Got it, Yo-san!” 

Dazai visibly chokes on his spit in disbelief, saying something to Yosano that Atsushi can’t hear between the complimentary ear plugs and noise of the car wash. 

Later, Yosano shows him how to fold towels, use the washing machine, refill the spray bottles, and take out the trash. And finally, they reach closing time, and she starts them on the online checklist for the end of the night, going to the tunnel (as he learns the wash is called) to blow it out, reluctantly entrusting Dazai to teach him how to do the rest.

As Dazai shows him how to clean out the vacuums after cleaning out the trash, three cars pull up, the brown one blasting “I STILL HAVENT FORGIVEN YOU LOL” by ISSBROKIE with the windows down. They enter the exit only attachment of their little parking lot to the road. 

And their engines are loud . Atsushi doesn’t know much about cars, but he can tell, these cars are expensive.

A russet haired man with matching eyes and a bandaid on his nose walks out of the brown BMW, calling out, “Oi, Dazai!”

Dazai doesn’t spare a single glance behind him, continuing to explain things to Atsushi. 

“Sometimes we find change in the vacuums. Once I even found 7,400 yen—”

”I know you heard me, asshole!”

Two other people come out the cars next to him, one with their black hair up in a spiky ponytail, another with hair the same shade save for the white tips, whose hairstyle isn’t too dissimilar to Atsushi’s. 

“To what do I owe the pleasure, Tachihara?” Dazai rolls his eyes in his general direction, arms swinging at his sides as he turns around.

“When are you coming back to us? You know all those chemicals ruin paint jobs and wraps, the hell are you doing working here? Automobile Cleaning Agency? More like an Automobile Destroyer Agency.”

Dazai lets out a long suffering sigh. 

“None of your business. Now are you going to use the vacuums as a paying customer or will you get out?” 

The man, Tachihara, scrunches up his nose and turns on his heel. 

“Fine. Be that way. I’ll bring Chuuya next time to wring you out.”

“Good luck trying! He’s giving me the silent treatment right now.”

As Tachihara and the spiky haired… woman (?) leave, the white tipped boy stays back.

He quietly speaks up. 

“Why?” He softly says to Dazai, not even looking at him. “Driving was your everything.”

“You don’t know me like that, Akutagawa.” At hearing that, the boy makes a face like he was just shot. “And hey, a man needs a job! Can’t keep living in a shipping container.” Dazai cheerfully continues, acting oblivious to Akutagawa’s peril. 

Akutagwa is still tense as he admits, “Maybe I don’t. But you still owe at least Mori and Chuuya an explanation.”

“I don’t owe Mori shit. ” Dazai spits.

“It’d be a shame to not race that car of yours. Just consider coming back.” Akutagawa’s perpetual scowl softens into a pleading look. “Please? You still haven’t taught me everything.”

Something flickers in Dazai’s eyes before his expression goes cold. 

“I don’t have to teach you shit. I have a new life now. I’ve moved on. It’s time you do too.” Dazai breaks eye contact with him. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a better pupil to teach.”

Akutagawa's jaw goes slack before he glares at Atsushi. 

What did I even do? Atsushi thinks incredulously.

He knows logically that it makes some sense, Dazai just snuffed him for Atsushi. 

But something about Akutagawa grates on Atsushi’s nerves, and he doesn't even know him yet.

So he meets his gaze head on with a glare of his own, unsure as to why heat is building in his cheeks. Akutagawa’s eyes are a striking pitch black that buries itself into Atsushi’s soul. At the returned look, Akutagawa harumphs and follows his friends to his car, driving off. 

“What was that all about?” Atsushi asks Dazai. 

Dazai hums. “Oh, nothing. I just used to be a street racer for the collective Port Motors.”

“What happened?”

“No offense, Atsushi, but you’re not privy to that information yet. Oh look, there’s my ride!”

The convenience store clerk, Fyodor, pulls up in a purple lamborghini. 

How the hell does a cashier afford a car like that? Atsushi wonders.

Dazai turns to him and raises an eyebrow. Shit, did I say that out loud? Or maybe the shock on his face was visible.

Regardless, Dazai brushes it off and heads off to the car.

“Byyeee Atsushi! See you tomorrow!” Dazai takes off, nodding at Fyodor as he rushes to him. Fyodor nods back, but at both of them, and there’s some sense of solidarity in that nod. 

“Wait, doesn’t your shift end at 8:30?”

Dazai ignores him, opening the driver’s side door to place a quick peck on Fyodor’s cheek before getting into the passenger’s side.

Fyodor calls out, "there's still time to come work for us, if you're sick of this asshole!" He jerks his head at Dazai.

"Oh stop I'll have you know I am a delight." Dazai punctuates this with a light punch at Fyodor's arm.

Yosano chooses this time to check up on them, and yells at Dazai as the car pulls out of the lot. 

“Hey. Hey! HEY!!” She shouts. “Get back here you little—URGH!” She stomps her foot in frustration.

She steps back closer to Atsushi, shakes her head, and mutters, “Can’t believe he still has a job when he acts like this .”

She faces Atsushi. 

“So, he’s gone. Which isn’t too bad, because we’re almost done anyway.” She sounds like she’s trying to convince herself. She turns to Atsushi to continue his training.

“When you reattach the vacuum tanks, prop them up with your knee. That makes it easier. And some latches are missing, don’t worry about that. As long as there’s at least two you’re good.” She continues giving advice, and Atsushi is suddenly very grateful for her assistance. 

She winces at the next one after opening it. “Sometimes there’s liquid in them. That’s not good. It’s why we turn the vacuums off when it rains.”

Atsushi nods at the new information. 

“Now, some people think they get a better wash when it rains. That’s not true. It rinses all the chemicals and while that makes it softer on the car’s paint job, it also makes it less shiny and clean. And the fact that we take the rags in to keep them from getting wet and moldy worsens the issue. They can’t top off the wash.”

She puts her hands on her hips. “But hey, who are we to tell the customer what to do?”

Atsushi hesitantly nods. He’ll have to inform a customer of that when it rains, if he’s trained in the non-member, cash register lane by then. They call it retail here. He doesn’t want a customer to waste their money on a cruddy wash. 

Yosano shows him how to do the rest of the closing work, and teaches him how to clock out, because he couldn’t figure it out last time. He’s also taught how to send in a request to amend his hours from last time. 

She waves him goodbye as she pulls out in her toyota corolla. 

Atsushi starts his walk home, still thinking about Akutagawa’s piercing eyes. He doesn’t know why they got to him so much.

Something tugs at his chest, (his binder starting to hurt? When's the last time he took a break?) so he changes his thoughts to Yosano. He hopes she’s there tomorrow.

He can’t help but smile, a fuzzy feeling warming his body. He’s glad he’s got such good coworkers.

He goes to sleep looking forward to his next shift.

Chapter Text

Unfortunately, on Atsushi’s third shift, Yosano isn’t there. Instead, a blond man named Kunikida is there. Apparently Kunikida is the assistant manager and soon to be store manager. Fukuzawa is the franchise owner and temporary manager, until Kunikida can finally graduate into a full time manager. He apparently mostly works during the summer, and once the school year rolls around he’s mainly a math and education double major, taking in his work hours between courses and on weekends. It sounds tough, and he has this perpetually tired lilt to his voice that Atsushi sympathizes with. 

He brought an equally blond kid along with him, a 14-year old named Kenji. He cited him as one of his foster children. How Kunikida manages a full time job, college, and taking care of multiple children, Atsushi doesn’t know. Maybe his notebook he’s constantly marking in, with its hyper-detailed schedule, actually works magic and gives him extra hours in the day. 

Since Kenji can’t legally work yet, Kunikida’s only showing him the ropes, and the third person on shift is Dazai, yet again. Except he’s late. Very, very late. It’s been an hour and a half since he was supposed to show. At least Kenji is here to help, doing the small jobs like folding towels, emptying trash, and cleaning out the vacuums, but he can’t do anything big like working the tunnel or retail on his own. 

When Atsushi asks why they don’t just hire Kenji, Kunikida responds, “He will get a job here once he is 15 and of age,” pushing his glasses up his nose.

Since Atsushi isn’t trained in retail yet, this means he’s stuck in the tunnel while Kunikida is stuck in sales. It’s very monotonous, very busy. Atsushi had no idea he could hate repetitive tasks this much, usually he likes them. But it’s so, so tiring that he’s going to be doing this All. Day. No breaks, because they don’t work long enough hours to do so. He checks the time, and gawks because he’s only a third of the way through his shift.

So when Dazai finally shows up, during a small break in cars, Kunikida tears him a new one. 

“Where the f–mmm” Kunikida cuts himself off, holding a fist to his mouth and looking away to regain composure. He glances at Kenji apologetically before continuing, “Where were you?!?!? We needed you hours ago.”

Dazai rubs at his neck, and it seems almost practiced. It’s then that Atsushi notices a hickey peeking out from under his bandages. He feels his jaw go slack.

“Fedya…kept me. From leaving earlier.” Dazai smirks with a shrug.

“I bet.” Atsushi blurts, still staring at Dazai’s neck.

At that, Dazai bursts out laughing, “See? He gets it!”

Kunikida is not amused.

“Fyodor is no excuse to be late to work.” Kunikida raises a brow, then carries on, “I’m writing you up.”

He walks over to pick up his notebook, which he put in his backpack earlier, presumably to make a note of Dazai’s transgression.

Once he finished writing, he turns back to Dazai and mutters, “When I finally become manager, it’d take a miracle to keep you from getting fired.”

“Hey, you’re just upset it wasn’t you!” Dazai calls, as plops down into a chair.

Kunikida turns beet red, stunned into silence for a moment.

“...What do you think you’re doing?” He musters, choosing to ignore Dazai’s comment. He stares incredulously at Dazai.

“Sitting. Relaxing. You should try it sometime.” Dazai chuckles, “Get that stick out of your ass.”

Kunikida sputters, looking pointedly at Dazai then at Kenji then back at Dazai. He chooses not to comment on the curse, perhaps to preserve his peace, pick his battles. 

Instead he opts to utter, “Go to retail. Now.”

Dazai groans, turning his eyes up to the sky and leaning back in his chair theatrically before getting up and pacing to the door.

“Can’t even have a moment of rest.” Dazai states, shaking his head before opening the door and heading out.

Atsushi’s very thankful for the moment to himself. He sighs and sags in the chair, settling to roll around half-heartedly in it for a moment. 

“Atsushi, this is no time to slack off. Get some more towels for the cart while there’s no cars around.”

So Atsushi does as instructed, doing his best not to grumble about it. On his second trip to replenish the towels, he sees a man, black hood up, walking towards him.

“Oh hey do you need help wi–OH CRAP.” Atsushi startles as the man pulls out a knife on him.

“Well well well look what the cat dragged in!” Dazai says, casually waving around…a gun? How the hell does he have a gun? Those are practically impossible for civilians to own. He almost certainly got it illegally. 

Atsushi can’t decide what he’s more stressed about. The man wielding a knife at him or Dazai of all people owning a gun (he doesn’t even know the half of why Dazai shouldn’t own a gun yet).

“So! You’re going to put the knife down, kick it to me, and scram.” Dazai walks closer to the man, who’s white as a ghost and looks like he’s about to shit his pants.

“He never said you’d have a gun, holy SHIT –” the man starts, dropping the knife.

“Good, now kick it to me.” Dazai interrupts, reaching for the knife as the man kicks it.

Once the knife is secured, Dazai dramatically rolls his eyes back and puts the barrel of the gun in his mouth.

“Oh, what's the point ,” he all but moans, and Atsushi is frozen, unsure what to do for a minute before Dazai’s finger on the trigger yanks him out of whatever daze he was in, pushing him to rush to Dazai, to stop him.

And Dazai pulls the trigger and–

Crunch .

What?

“What?” Atsushi finds himself asking, dumbfounded.

Dazai has taken a bite out of the gun. Inside, it’s brown with what looks like a wafer in the middle.

It’s chocolate. The gun is chocolate.

Atsushi is caught somewhere between relief and anger. Why the hell did Dazai let him think he was going to die , what is wrong with him?

And the bastard had the audacity to giggle. He fucking giggles! It starts small and then he’s uncontrollably cackling, hands on his knees.

“What is wrong with you!” Atsushi yells, “I thought you were going to die !”

Dazai just laughs harder, unable to speak.

They don’t even notice the man skittering off, murmuring to himself about crazy people and never listening to him (whoever that is, place your bets now) again. 

And somehow, against all odds, Atsushi finds himself laughing too. Furiously at first, like he was going to punch Dazai, and maybe he would. Then genuinely, reassured that at least Dazai is okay.

In between chortles, he says, “ Never do that again. Please.”

“Okay, okay, but no promises.” Dazai sighs amusedly a couple times, recollecting himself.

They head in to report this to Kunikida, who asks them both, “Any idea who did this?”

He asked both of them, but somehow, it feels more like he’s asking Dazai, maybe because of an extra glance in his direction, maybe the set of his shoulders, maybe the direction his body was pointing.

“Yeah, I think I know who.” Dazai responds.

After a beat, Kunikida questions, “Well, are you going to share with the class?”

“When I have solid evidence, yeah. For now, you’ll be stuck wondering.”

Kunikida sighs like the weight of the world is on his shoulders. Which, given how busy he is, it might as well be.

The rest of the shift goes without incident, aside from all of Kunikida and Dazai’s bickering. When it’s finally time to leave, Atsushi is shocked to find Kunikida is Dazai’s ride today.

Huh. Maybe they don’t totally hate each other. 

He watches as Kunikida yells at Dazai for something, to which Dazai smirks, and he amends that statement. 

They definitely hate each other.

Man. He’s going to be in for a shock, soon.

Chapter Text

Atsushi didn’t get his fourth shift for a total of 5 days. Seeing the lack of shifts, he was worried they had silently fired him by simply taking him off the schedule, but no, apparently there was some glitch that wasn’t letting him clock in and out properly that they wanted to fix. He was very glad after they told him that on a call. Still, he spent the days irrationally nervous they’d fired him, despite knowing they hadn’t, and that he would forget everything during the time off, even though he likely wouldn’t. He also spent the time struggling to buy enough to eat. He also got some athletic tape to bind with, and he actually likes how it looks. Apparently, they’re supposed to last a week without needing to be changed, so he doesn’t need to worry about changing into it every day like he would with a binder. He just hopes they don’t start to stink.

When it’s finally time for his fourth shift, Yosano and Kunikida are there. Kunikida didn’t bring Kenji this time, citing that he actually got Dazai to look after him, which prompted the following conversation:

“Really? Dazai? ” Atsushi questions, stunned.

“I know, I know, it’s not ideal.”

“Yeah, no shit.” Yosano chips in, looking at Kunikida like he just killed a dog. Maybe even her dog.

“He’s going to teach the kid how to swear.” Atsushi says.

“No, he’s going to teach the kid all the various ways one can kill themselves and when the kid isn’t interested, he’ll use one to kill himself .” Yosano adds.

“Really? He doesn’t seem like he wants to kill himself, Yo-san. He’s so…lively.”

Yosano snorts, “That’s one way to put it. And you don’t know half of it. He used to be way worse about it too, we often had to stick our fingers down his throat to keep him from OD’ing at work. Glad he’s doing better mentally now, but he still talks about it, acting like it’s all just some silly joke. I wonder if it really is all a joke now, but it’s hard to tell when it comes to him.”

“Huh. I’ll be more careful around him now.”

“Don’t, he hates that.” Kunikida and Yosano speak in unison.

“Better to just play along like he isn’t serious.” Kunikida continues, “He can handle himself and he prefers to do so. It would be rude to impede on that without good reason.”

“I feel like potential suicide is a good reason.”

“Like I said, it’s probably just a joke.” Yosano says.

“Alright, if you say so, Yo-san, Kunikida-san.”

A car pulls up, so the conversation is cut short. Atsushi goes to the tunnel to wave the next two cars in. The first car goes without incident, but as the next car pulls in, he notices something shocking.

It’s black with two white stripes down the middle, and on the driver’s side is… Akutagawa? Who looks absolutely appalled to see Atsushi in the tunnel.

He looks increasingly more annoyed as Atsushi waves him in, and when he finally gets close enough, he rolls down the window, wordlessly holding a wad of cash out, looking anywhere but at Atsushi.

“Don’t tell anyone I was here.” He mutters.

Now, Atsushi was fully planning on telling someone just to spite Akutagawa. 

But the bills came to a total of 8,000 yen. 

8,000 yen. 

That’s more than some sex workers make! Or at least, he thinks so. He doesn’t actually know, to be honest. (Most prostitutes make at least 10,000 yen per screw. So, not too far off.)

Since there’s no cars aside from Akutagawa, he feels safe to ask, “What are you doing here?”

He notices a passenger in the back, a child typing on a flipphone that has a bunny keychain attached. He waves and as she looks up her eyes widen, then she looks away quickly. Aw, she’s shy.

“And who’s the kid?”

“That’s Kyouka. And I’m busy.”

“With what?”

“Just wash the car already.” Akutagawa spits out, brushing him off angrily.

Atsushi can’t help but scowl hearing that. 

What’s so wrong with asking a question?

Wait, why does he care to begin with? He doesn’t know this asshole and he doesn’t want to.

He harumphs at the thought and starts the wash, not spraying down his car because of course he got the cheapest wash.

Normally, he feels bad and hoses down wash number 4’s too, because they’re also usually the cars that need it the most, but not with Akutagawa. No, this bastard gets only the worst.

Atsushi pauses that thought because he’s not even sure why Akutagawa is such a bastard. He can’t name any reason. There’s just something about him that gets under his skin. Those piercing eyes and pale skin that get under there and burn, boiling him from the inside out, setting fire to his blood and organs.

And he can tell the feeling’s mutual with the way Akutagawa stares at him.

He feels a lump in his throat and a pang in his chest at the thought, though he doesn’t know why. It’s good that Akutagawa hates me back , he thinks, swallowing the lump. This time, there’s no binder to blame for the pang, so he’s stuck wondering about it over and over as he plops down an office chair to rest in between washes. 

Well, he doesn’t actually wonder long, because he forces himself out of thinking about it by starting up a conversation. 

“Yo-san, what do you do in your free time?”

“Study autopsies and homicide crime scenes.” She immediately responds, not skipping a beat.

“What?” Atsushi is absolutely shocked. She’s so nice, what the hell is she doing looking at something so gory?

“I’m training to be an EMT. I’m going to have to figure out how to help those people, so I study those scenes to quiz myself on how to help them. It’ll be especially hard since in Japan, we’re not allowed to administer most drugs ourselves, so the help I can give is limited.”

Atsushi wrinkles his nose. Being an EMT is a thankless job. 

Most consider it akin to corpse disposal, so he questions, “Why not become a doctor?”

“Doctors don’t see the real shit.” She gets an evil little twinkle in her eye, “And I like seeing the real shit. The blood, the bodies, the scene, all of that.”

“Yes Yosano, we all know you’re a sadist dressed up in doctors robes and false kindness, take your messed up kinks elsewhere.”

“You know you can curse, right Kunikida?”

“I’d sooner die.”

“Dramatic much?”

Atsushi laughs as they continue to argue, glad he has such unique coworkers. 

Today was a good day. He still has a job, he’s getting paid a couple thousand this week that can go to rent, so he still has a roof over his head, and he’s making friends at work.

He’s starting to get comfortable.

Too comfortable.

Something could go wrong.

Something will go wrong.

He shakes out the thought, choosing to focus on the positive. Yosano and Kunikida are there to look after him. He has a nice job, he's able to live somewhat comfortably, he has a government that can help should anything go wrong, and he thinks he's making friends.

And once it’s time to leave, the positive sticks with him. A warm fuzzy feeling that lets him ignore the worry looming overhead.

Chapter Text

Shift five, he’s stuck with only one other person, and on top of that, it’s someone he doesn’t know. They’re slammed, so he’s stuck in the tunnel for hours . Which he’s almost thankful for, because then he isn’t stuck with the awkwardness of sitting through his new coworker’s phone calls. 

“I miss you my little munchkin!”

“I miss you more, Naomi.”

“No, I miss you to the moon and back!”

“Naomi, chill. I’m only gonna be gone for like. Four hours.”

“Four hours too many, Tani-Zani.”

“Please don’t call me that.”

“Nope! You’re being mean, Jun’ichiro, so I’m calling you Tani-Zani.”

“How am I being mean?”

And it went on. And on. And on, just like that.

He’s glad Dazai and Kunikida are coming to replace Tanizaki in a half an hour on two accounts. One, a break from the tunnel. And two, not having to stomach Tanizaki and his sister’s ramblings alone anymore.

Its gotten to the point where Atsushi stays in the tunnel even when he doesn’t need to be there, he’s so uncomfortable with their call.

At first Atsushi thought they were a couple, but it turns out they’re just siblings. He doesn’t know how to feel about that. On one hand, it’s sweet that they’re that close. He wishes he felt that close with the other orphans. His closest relationships witht them were usually antagonistic in nature, he got bullied and thrown under the bus a lot. But on the other hand? It’s weird that they could be mistaken for dating. Maybe he only thinks that because close, positive connections for him were far and few between. And he’s never had a sibling, at least not a real one, so maybe he just doesn’t know what that’s supposed to be like.

He still shudders a little thinking about it, but the next few cars are rolling in, so he waves one in without thinking about it.

And then, out of the corner of his eye, he sees it.

Black car, white stripes.

Akutagawa . 

He clenches his teeth unconsciously, heat pooling in his chest and neck.

The hell is he doing here?

He was just here Atsushi’s last shift, two days ago.

As Akutagawa pulls in, he notices a red car (an expensive looking nissan), the spiky-haired girl's car, a black car with a purple sheen, and Tachihara’s brown bmw drive in after him.

Through the exit only road, again .

Atsushi is seething. He drops what he’s doing, letting the cars in line honk angrily and ignoring Tanizaki’s distressed calls for him to get back in the tunnel, and walks right up to the four.

Tachihara is sawing off the edge of a vacuum, and Gin is stuffing something in a different vacuum, and a red head emerges from the equally red car to yell at them.

“I told you, the stinking Mackerel isn’t here yet!”

“What the hell are you doing?” Atsushi interrupts. He knows he should be eyeing Tachihara or the spiky-haired girl, the ones actually causing this chaos, but instead his gaze finds Akutagawa.

And Akutagawa, as if to prove the glare right, spits on the ground, narrowly missing Atsushi’s foot in a way that was almost certainly purposeful, never breaking eye contact with him. The heat rises.

“I was just stopping them, no point doing this when Dazai isn’t even here yet. Knowing the bastard he’s going to be two hours late anyway.” The red head from the red car responds, which gave Atsushi some much needed time to cool down from whatever the hell Akutagawa was up to.

“What the hell’s wrong with you, Chuuya? He’ll be here in twenty minutes, what does it matter we’re a little early? You never pass up an opportunity to mess with him.”

“I told you, I want to fuck with him , not anyone else.”

“ Bull shit! You never care about who gets in the cross hairs.” Tachihara shouts indignantly. 

“Plus, the drowned kitten deserves it.” Akutagawa says, looking at Atsushi.

“Wh– drowned kitten? The hell am I a kitten for?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know, kitten . Funny how you immediately knew it was you.”

“Y–” 

“Would you all just SHUT. Up.” The red head, Chuuya, butts in. 

The group falls into silence.

“Look, Dazai won’t be here for a while. He’s our whole reason for coming here. So lets just get back in our cars and leave,”

“But–” Gin, Akutagawa, and Tachihara say in unison, a chorus of affront.

“No buts. In and out. Now.” Chuuya says, no nonsense.

The groups stands stunned for a minute.

 “Come on, chop chop.” Chuuya makes a chopping motion with his hands as he says this.

This breaks their stunned silence, and the trio get back in their cars, grumbling all the while.

“Thank you, Chuuya? That is your name, right?” Atsushi almost stutters out.

“Yes, Chuuya’s the name, pissing off Dazai is the game, pleasure to make your aquaintence.”

At that moment, Fyodor’s lambo pulls in, windows down, and Chuuya wrinkles his nose. 

“Time to take my leave. Let me know how to better inconvenience Dazai the next time I come, but I don’t feel like bothering him today.” Atsushi gets the impression he won't feel like bothering him anytime soon either.

Chuuya gets in the car and the four pull out after the purple lambo parks, and it’s then that Atsushi notices that someone else is driving it today. A man with silver and purple hair, two tiered, in what looks to be almost a jellyfish cut?

As Dazai leaves the car, the jellyfish hair man reaches out a hand, which Dazai clasps before leaning in to kiss the man on both cheeks and leave.

Huh. Atsushi was pretty sure he was dating Fyodor, so this must be Fyodor’s family member or something. Maybe dad, based on the level of deference? No, he looks far too young for that.

Dear readers, Sigma is definitely too young to be Fyodor’s dad, and is very obviously not related to him. Atsushi is an idiot who doesn’t remember poly people and cheating and close friendships exist.

Well, whatever. He’ll figure it out eventually.

Eventually.

Chapter Text

Once Kunikida enters, exactly on time except he makes a remark about being two seconds late, he’s shocked to hear Dazai came in early. Apparently Sigma (the man with the jellyfish cut)  made sure to pick him up well before the time he needed to be at work in an effort to keep Dazai from being fired, something he apparently worried about a lot. Atsushi could see why, it was like Dazai was allergic to actually working, so if anyone could be fired (they’re immensely short staffed, so that can’t exactly happen right now), Dazai would be the first one to go. Tanizaki stays, because his bus isn’t for another couple of minutes.

They’ve suddenly become slammed, so Atsushi is back in the tunnel, watching enviously as his coworkers chatter animatedly without him, Kunikida occasionally leaving to take care of cars in retail.

At one point, Dazai mimes putting a noose around his neck then tilts his head, tongue lolling out. Huh. There’s the suicide joke. Atsushi wonders how often he does those, and if he purposefully didn’t make them around him, worried a new person would baby him in the way he reportedly doesn’t like.

Eventually, Atsushi finishes with the cars, and returns to vent about an inconsiderate customer who couldn’t wait for the right time.

“Someone just tried to enter the wash before I waved them in.” Atsushi states.

“Did you let them?” Dazai asks.

“Yeah.” Atsushi admits, “it was almost time to board them anyway.”

“Don’t let them walk all over you like that. Sometimes I just make them wait longer, if they try to rush in before I tell them to.”

Tanizaki nods vigorously, “Yeah! Make ‘em wait.”

“Atsushi was in the right, letting them through. Letting each car in as soon as possible, especially if its busy like it was just now, is very important.”

“Naw, they better learn patience,” Dazai chuckles.

“Yeah, listen to your boyfriend Kunikida.” 

Astushi swears he hears his own jaw drop to the floor.

They’re dating?

“You’re dating?” Atsushi asks before he registers he’s speaking, dumbfounded. He continues, glancing at Dazai, “I thought you and Fyodor were dating!”

“We are.” Says Dazai, simply. 

“You’re dating both Kunikida and Fyodor?”

“Among other people.”

“Are you dating the man who dropped you off today as well?”

“Yes, I’m dating Sigma too.”

“ What?!?!?!!? ” It’s hard for Atsushi to imagine Dazai dating just one person, with his attitude toward life, but multiple people?

“Don’t act so shocked.”

Atsushi gestures around the room, wide-eyed, “And you’re all just okay with this?”

“I’m polyamorus, so it’s all consensual. Nothing wrong with me dating multiple people if we all agree to it.”

“And you…actually like him? Like you actually want to date him?” Atsushi finds himself imploring Kunikida to respond. 

As Kunikida pushes up his glasses, Dazai remarks, “Wow, rude! I’m very lovable.”

Kunikida fiddles with his glasses again before saying, “Yes, I enjoy his company, when he’s not getting on my last nerve.”

“Which seems to be all the time.” Atsushi points out.

“Nah, he likes getting pissed off. Good foreplay.” 

At hearing that from Dazai, Atsushi chokes.

Kunikida blushes bright red. “Dazai, don’t just say stuff like that! People will get the wrong idea!”

“What? It’s true.”

“No it isn’t!”

They go back and forth like this for a while, and suddenly, Atsushi sees it. They’re like an old married couple. 

He says a much to the two of them, to which they immediately and vehemently deny.

“We’re nothing like a married couple!”

“Marrige is disgusting, I could never be or act married!”

“Of course, because you could never be married, no one would ever pledge to put up with your bullshit their entire lives!” Kunikida visibly pales when he realizes he cussed.

Dazai laughs and says, “Oh, but you already do that just fine!”

“You meet none of my required ideals of a lifelong partner.”

“That hasn’t stopped you yet.”

“Maybe it will if you keep bothering me.”

“Nah, you love me too much.”

At that, Kunikida turns a brighter red than a tomato. Sputtering and tripping over his words, it’s clear he has no appropriate response to that. Dazai smirks.

“I win.”

“Win what? I’m lost.” Tanizaki says, and Atsushi nods, sharing the sentiment.

Kunikida recollects some composure to say, “Dazai likes to compete with his partners to see who can fluster the other faster. I have stated multiple times I am not partaking in this game, but he still teases me.”

“Which reminds me, I need to ask Fyodor something, and I’m hungry. So, I’m going to Angel’s.”

“Wait, Dazai, there’s cars lining up, we’re about to be really busy, stay!” Kunikida urges.

Which is true. There’s a car in the member line that’s been sitting in the front for a while, and a bunch of cars are sitting behind it honking. They must be having an issue with their sticker scanning. Someone will have to address that soon.

“Nah, Tanizaki can take care of it.”

“Excuse me? I ain’t doing shit, I’m off the clock.” Tanizaki sounds actually offended at Dazai’s suggestion, a darkness creeping into his tone that one wouldn’t expect from someone so enamored with his sister.

“Too bad, I got places to be!” 

Dazai leaves, and as the door closes, Tanizaki utters, “No the fuck you don’t.”

Tanizaki turns back to the room, and says, “God Kunikida, your boyfriend is such an asshole.”

“Yeah, I know.” Kunikida presses his glasses up, and to Atsushi says, “What are you doing? Cars have been sitting for a while. Go to the tunnel and wave them through. I have to do retail, and Dazai’s not here, so sorry, you’re stuck in the tunnel for a little longer.”

Atsushi resigns himself to return to the tunnel, bone tired. His arms, feet and legs still hurt despite the small break. He just wants to go home, but he wants the money and a job more, so here he is.

An hour later, Dazai returns, lips shiny and suspicious red spots on his neck.

“What took you so long?!?!” Kunikida all but yells.

“Sorry, I got distracted. Wanna distract me this time instead?”

“God, what is wrong with you?”

“I’ll take that as when we get home.”

“You stayed with me last night, I thought you wanted to split your time with us evenly. Isn’t it Chuuya’s turn?”

“Yeah, but he’s mad at me because I replaced his wine with salt water.”

“Of course you did. God, you’re insufferable.”

It’s at this point that Atsushi comes in, and while he didn’t hear the conversation, he can guess the gist from Dazai’s lips and neck.

“I see you got lucky, Dazai.”

“Yes, please refrain from doing that during work hours in the future.”

“For you? Anything.” Dazai rolls his eyes, continuing, “Just kidding. No promises can be made at this time.”

“Well, my bus will get here soon, so I gotta go.” It’s then that Atsushi notices Tanizaki is still here. 

“What happened for you to be leaving this late?”

“First I missed one, then the next bus got delayed. By a lot.” Tanizaki opens the door, and standing in its frame, offers, “By the way, Atsushi, there’s going to be a party tomorrow. Starts at 7 pm. You should come.”

Atsushi hates crowds and noise, so he’s shocked to hear himself agree.

“Great!” Tanizaki says. “I’ll pick you up!”

Atsushi gives him his address reluctantly.

He spends the rest of his shift debating actually showing up, then feeling guilty for the possibility of ditching Tanizaki's invitation after agreeing to it. It’s not like he has his number either, so he can’t actually officially bail on him. So, he resigns himself to going and tries to anticipate it positively. He could meet more people! Make more friends! Yeah, he could have fun at this party.

By the time his shift ends he’s almost looking forward to it.

He wasn’t prepared for how wrong it could go.

Chapter Text

Tanizaki picks him up, and they arrive at the party exactly 4 minutes early. This gives Atsushi some time to acclimate to the space and befriend the hosts, some surprisingly chill frat boys who apparently know Tanizaki very well. Because Tanizaki, oddly enough, almost joined the frat. He’s a business and political science major, so he ran into a lot of the frat boys a lot, and he considered joining, but quickly realized he didn’t have the funds or emotional bandwidth to live with the boys. 

The boys are nice, but they still lightheartedly tease Atsushi for his haircut. He tells them it’s because of how another kid cut it years ago. Their response?

“Oh wow, that’s actually kinda sweet.”

“And depressing as fuck, he was being bullied!”

“Was he? I thought it was just a cute kid thing.”

“No, that kid was definitely cutting his hair to bully him!”

“Atsushi, which do you think it was?”

Atsushi bites his lip, somehow still caught off guard from the question. 

“Um, I did get bullied a lot, so that might’ve been it. But I’d like to think it was all in good fun.”

“See? So I’m right.”

“No you’re not, this clearly means I’m right!!”

They continue arguing, but by now people are starting to filter in in bigger chunks.

One of the frat boys puts on some music, and oddly enough, it’s STEP IN THE RING by ISSBROKIE. A little niche for a party of this scale, but still a very good choice. Atsushi recognizes her because a friend in the orphanage, an American girl by the name of Lucy, was really into her, and got him into her music. He sometimes wonders if she’s still okay. They weren’t allowed phones, so he couldn’t exchange information with her before leaving. They were both devastated at the loss of contact. 

He’s jerked out of his thoughts when one of the frat boys who was arguing about Atsushi’s haircut shoves a cup of red liquid to him, some of the drink sloshing out with the force of the movement. 

“Here! Not a party if you’re not getting fucked up!”

“What is this?” Atsushi asks, but the frat bro is already gone.

As everything gets progressively louder, Atsushi finds himself craving a quiet space.

So he goes upstairs and finds a balcony to go out onto.

And lo and behold, there’s a familiar figure there. Black hair, white tips framing his face.

Akutagawa. Smoking. 

He glances back at Atsushi’s surprised hiss, and meets him with a glare.

“What are you doing here, jinko?” he says, tone sibilant.

“Well, that’s slightly better than kitten.”

“Kitten, then.”

“You know what? Fuck you.” Atsushi starts. “I have been nothing but kind to you, yet you hate my guts. Why?”

“That’s rich coming from a guy who clearly hates me too.” Akutagawa breaks his gaze, opting to instead stare off into the distance.

“At least I hide it.”

“Lies. You suck at schooling your expressions.” Akutagawa glances back through the corner of his eye, not turning from the view.

“You’re not even going to ask why?” Not like Atsushi truly knows.

“I could care less.” 

Somehow, hearing Akutagawa say that hurts.

“Whatever. I’m leaving.” Atsushi turns on his heel to hunt for the bar. 

This whole conversation has him craving alcohol, so he drinks more, swallowing down the guilt of drinking underage. 

The drinks also help with the noise. Instead of it digging under his skin, he has a protective, fuzzy little buzz that keeps the effect of the noise at bay. It makes him feel nice and floaty. Yet at the same time, his limbs feel heavy, and he’s starting to feel nauseous.

He heads to leave, to clear his head, before remembering Akutagawa is upstairs. 

He decides he doesn’t care, and it’s been a while. Akutagawa’s probably elsewhere.

Suddenly, he feels puke build in his throat, and before he can reach a bathroom he throws up all over the floor. He frantically opens doors, looking for a bathroom and finds a cleaning closet, so he starts to mop up the vomit.

There’s too much of it to properly clean up, so he’s just pushing it around, but he’s too drunk to think of a better way to tidy it up. His vision fades out, and suddenly, he’s projectile vomiting again, continuing to clean the puke because what else is he supposed to do?

“Jinko?”

Atsushi reluctantly turns, and sure enough, Akutagawa is right there, mouth hanging slightly open, eyes sucking Atsushi in like black holes.

Great. The last person Atsushi wants to see right now. He braces himself for a cruel word, but instead he feels a hand wrap around his wrist, pulling him down the hallway until they reach a bathroom. Atsushi stumbles behind him the whole time, feeling the edges of his vision fade occasionally.

Atsushi gingerly opens the toilet lid and lines Atsushi up with it, gently rubbing his back as Atsushi continues to throw up.

“God, you look pathetic right now.”

“Gee, than–” Atsushi is cut off by another vomit.

“Truly like a drowned cat.”

“Oh, fuck off.” But Atsushi feels a smile pull at his cheeks, despite himself, and it creeps into his voice in a way that he knows Akutagawa can hear, much to his chagrin.

How is he smiling right now? He’s vomiting into a toilet with his arch-nemesis rubbing his back. What the fuck is wrong with him?

He barely has the presence of mind to scold himself for this before throwing up even more.

They fall into comfortable silence, Akutagawa throwing in the occasional insult while rubbing Atsushi’s back as he empties his guts into the toilet. Eventually, once the puking slows, Akutagawa gets up, and Atsushi finds himself mourning the loss of contact on his back. He’s actually kind of upset Akutagawa ups and leaves, but shortly after he returns with water.

Atsushi takes a sip before immediately throwing up before even being able to swallow it.

Akutagawa chuckles, “Can’t blame me for trying.”

Atsushi wants to respond with something, but he’s too busy vomiting his guts out.

Atsushi has no idea how much time passes, but it feels like forever, Akutagawa’s hand returning to his back and silence settling around them, no insults to mar it.

Eventually, Atsushi’s gut stops toiling so hard, and a long pause in throwing up occurs. He thinks it might be over, and his mind is quickly clearing and embarrassment rearing its ugly head.

The door swings open, and the spiky haired girl is there.

“Where have you been, I’ve been looking for you everywhere .” She yells, and Akutagawa stands up.

“Looks like that’s my cue to go, Jinko. Are you good on your own?”

“Yeah, think so.” Atsushi reluctantly responds. He’ll miss this, and he’s too tired to ignore that.

“Don’t fraternize with the enemy!” the girl says.

“Too late.” Akutagawa continues, “Until the next time I get the displeasure of seeing your ugly mug.” He salutes, and leaves, but not before Atsushi can muster a scoff at the comment.

Eventually, Tanizaki and Atsushi find each other, and Tanizaki is appalled to see the sorry state Atsushi is in, apologizing profusely for not taking proper care of him.

They head home, and now that Atsushi is sober, he has to detangle all the confusing feelings Akutagawa left in his wake. He still detests him, but there's a glimmer of something foreign there that he doesn’t know what to call. It makes him feel funny. It’s like a string pulling his organs around, turning around his stomach and tugging at his heart.

It keeps him up, the puzzling feeling, and he only gets 3 hours of sleep before his 10 am shift the next day.

Oh well.

Chapter Text

On Atsushi’s sixth shift, he is dead on his feet. The party meant he had only 3 hours of sleep, so he feels like he’s about to collapse. He indulges in a java monster, despite him usually not drinking caffeine, and Yosano takes pity on him and lets him rest a bit for the first part of his shift, forcing Dazai to do retail every time a car pulls in that line. Dazai whines, but agrees at Yosano’s glares, which clearly shake him to his core. 

“She’s scary.” Dazai remarks at Atsushi at one point, and Atsushi snorts.

“When you’re a slacker getting on her nerves, maybe.”

“Excuse you, I am not a slacker!” Dazai’s hand flies to his chest, mouth open in mock indignation. “You should see Ranpo! All he does during his shifts is eat. Sometimes he doesn’t even show up! The only reason he still has this job is because Fukuzawa is his father and he can’t get any other work. He can’t keep another job for more than a week.”

“Someone lazier than you?” Atsushi crosses his arms. “I’ll believe it when I see it.”

“You guys talking about Ranpo?” Yosano peeks her head in, not yet fully in the room in case another car pulls up.

“Yeah, is he really that bad?”

“Look, I love Ranpo. He’s definitely better than this asshole right here.” Yosano points to Dazai with her thumb. Dazai lets out an indignant squawk.

“But he’s 100% a worse worker than Dazai. Did the boss ask you if you’d show up during the interview?”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, that’s because Ranpo doesn’t. He was actually supposed to work today, not Dazai, but called off at the last minute to mess around with his boyfriend instead.”

“And Dazai actually took the shift?”

“Hey, I need the money. Can’t couch surf at my partner’s places forever.”

“You absolutely would, who got it through your thick skull that you need to work?” Yosano snarks.

“...Kunikida.”

“Called it!” Atsushi and Yosano speak in unison.

“I hate you both.” Dazai hisses, looking almost…embarassed? That’s a first.

“You love me!” Yosano responds, not skipping a beat.

At that moment, a bright yellow car pulls up to the wash, but before Atsushi can go out to the tunnel, it parks itself right in front of the office. 

Two redheads step out. One of them is a rather regal looking one in doctors robes, and the other is Chuuya, who stumbles out, gait uneven and likely drunk.

As the woman crosses the room to speak in murmurs with Yosano, lips close enough to touch, Chuuya walks right up to Dazai and presses a finger to his chest.

“You’re crazy for working here, the Automobile Destroyer Agency, stinky mackerel.”

Dazai gasps, face morphing into something dramatically offended. 

“I do NOT stink.” he deflects.

“You do.”

“Do not.”

“Stiiinnkkyy mackerel, you smell like sewage, saltwater and fish,” Chuuya sings, off key, “stiiinnkky mackereeellll you desperately need a shooowweerrr!”

“I’ll have you know I showered last night AND this morning.”

“Really? Couldn’t tell.” Chuuya continues, “Where would you even shower?”

“Fyodor’s.”

“I don’t like him.” Chuuya slurs, finding the nearest table to steady himself.

“Well, it’s not like I could at yours, now that I’ve been excommunicated."

"He’s always trying to trip you up.” Chuuya says, ignoring Dazai’s comment.

Dazai raises an eyebrow. “And you don’t?”

“That’s different!” Chuuya continues, “He’s shifty! I wouldn’t be surprised if he was doing something illegal on the down low.”

“Chuuya, he works for a cop.”

“And he sent some guy to intimidate the newbie you brought in into leaving to work at Angel’s!” Chuuya shakes his head. “That’s gotta be illegal!”

“I asked him, he said he didn’t.”

“You and I both know that’s bullshit!” Chuuya all but yells.

“Chuuya, calm down. There’s no need to raise your voice.”

Chuuya looks guiltily to the side, as if remembering they’re not the only ones in the room.

Everyone else’s jaws are slack, eyes wide. It’s slowly dawning on Atsushi that Fyodor, the man Dazai is dating, is likely the puppet master behind some of his trauma working here. And that Dazai and Chuuya are probably dating, based on the way that conversation went. 

The regal woman voices the question, asking, “Wait… You two are actually dating?” She shakes her head and smiles, “About time. How long?”

“Three years.” Dazai responds, looking at her then at Chuuya with a soft smile on his face.

“So, what brings you two here?”

“Chuuya got drugged, and I need someone we can trust to look after him.” She nods at Dazai, “That would be you. Also, I need to talk with Kunikida soon as well. An orphan I foster will soon come under his care.”

“Well it’s a good thing I’m almost done with my shift.” Dazai turns to Yosano. “Permission to leave early, take Chuuya somewhere safe? Like back home?”

Yosano sighs, and reluctantly agrees.

“Are you sure you wouldn’t like a drive home? I know you don’t like driving anymore.” The red-headed woman says.

“I managed to take the bus here today, so I’ll just take the bus back.” Dazai spits out, almost glaring at the woman. 

However, she seems unphased at this behavior, simply nodding at him.

Dazai then tucks his arm under Chuuya’s, grabbing at his bicep. 

“C’mon, out we go.” He says, and Chuuya obliges, head tilting until it’s resting on the side of Dazai’s shoulder, eyes half lidded. He looks like he's about to collapse.

They walk out, and it’s then that the woman finally introduces herself to Atsushi.

“Hello, I am Kouyou Ozaki. I am director of neurosurgery at the local hospital and I foster children. I have even adopted some, but with my new position, I have no time to adopt another, as much as I may want to adopt her. So, I’m familiarizing myself with her new caretaker, who my girlfriend,” She turns to Yosano, “luckily happens to know. You may know him as Kunikida. I hear he’ll be here soon, so I’ll meet him then. The plan was to bring the girl he’ll be fostering, named Kyouka, along, but since Chuuya got inebriated and I had to bring him along I didn’t bring her because I didn’t want her to see him like that. So, another time.”

“Wow, you must be super smart! And how you found the time to foster and be a doctor at the same time is amazing!” Atsushi responds.

“Yes, it was quite difficult, but they’re both things I’m very passionate about, so I found the time. You might even find the siblings I adopted come around more often should Kunikida bring Kyouka to work. I know it’s likely, he is a busy man after all, and while my children should be able to look after her some of the time, they still have work and the collective to worry about. They might come by to take her though. And I’d like to find the time to see her as well.”

“Well, I hope you do! I was also an orphan, and I felt so alone for years because no one took the time out of their day to see me. I imagine that’s ten times worse in the foster care system, when even just the faces around you don’t stick around.” Atsushi admits.

“Yes, I imagine it is.” She says, and just then, Kunikida enters the room.

Since they can’t afford to have Atsushi on for any longer, Yosano and Kunikida are stuck braving the rest of Sunday rush together, however, it seems like it has mostly died down, for now. 

Atsushi hears Kunikida and Kouyou talk in hushed tones as he leaves, and it seems like the exchange of Kyouka will go well.

He wonders who the children Kouyou adopted were.

Chapter Text

Atsushi’s seventh shift is supposed to be with Kunikida and Ranpo. Ranpo wasn’t here yet, even though it’s two hours into the shift, and Kunikida had brought two children with him, Kenji and Kyouka, the girl who used to be in Kouyou’s care. It was then that Atsushi realized with horror that he knew Kyouka. She had been in the backseat of Akutagawa’s car one day. And since Kouyou mentioned adopting some children, he realized that there was a non-zero chance that Akutagawa was one of those children.

Huh. That would also make him an orphan. Some part of Atsushi is weirdly…happy? At that? At having something in common with him? And he immediately feels horrible for it. He shouldn’t be happy that someone he supposedly detests has something in common with him, and then he feels a further pang of guilt at that thought. They had connected a little, at the party. Akutagawa had softly rubbed his back while he vomited and made sure he was okay. And that left a fuzzy feeling in his chest. He’ll have to thank him, next time he sees him.

Ranpo finally rolls in, holding a massive bag filled to the brim with snacks. He slumps down into a chair and unwraps a lollipop.

“Can I have one?” Kenji asks, eyes sparkling.

“No, these are all mine!” Ranpo yanks away the candies, then playfully adds, “Okay, you can maybe have just one.”

“Really?” Kenji seems overjoyed, and now Kyouka is looking over, slight interest showing on her face.

“You can both have one!” Ranpo says, and the children quickly rush to eat.

“Well, since we have two extra hands on deck, I’m not really needed here!” Ranpo exclaims, getting out of his chair and rolling on the balls of his feet.

“Oh no you don’t! They’re not legally allowed to work, so you’re going to be doing everything I say, got it?” Kunikida scolds.

“Hmmmmm how about no?”

“I’ll call your father.”

Ranpo’s eyes widened, desperation mounting in his voice,“Okay, okay, I’ll work!”

“Good. Now get this car, retail.”

“But–”

Kunikida makes a show of picking up his phone, and Ranpo’s mouth immediately snaps shut.

“Got it!”

The moment the door swings shut after Ranpo, Kunikida lets out a large sigh.

“God, he’s so exhausting already. At least we know how to get him to work now.”

“I’ve heard lots about him being lazy, but he seems better than Dazai if you can threaten him like this?”

“The issue is you have to do it constantly. Dazai will eventually do stuff on his own, he mostly plays up his laziness for laughs. Ranpo doesn’t do anything unless specifically asked, and he’s rude to top it off, bluntly telling customers stuff like their husband is cheating on them. I’m actually starting to regret sending him to retail…” Kunikida trails off, seeing a customer get out of their car to get into Ranpo’s face, yelling at him. “And there it is. Should’ve expected this.”

And the customer…has black hair with white tips? Oh my god, is that Akutagawa? 

Should’ve known he’s the type of asshole to yell at someone in customer service .

Atsushi leaves the office with Kunikida, because he wants to understand the drama, and he hears snippets of Ranpo’s and Akutagawa’s conversation.

“I do not have a crush, I hate him.”

“Hating someone is sometimes the gayest thing you could do.”

“It really isn’t.” Akutagawa and Atsushi say in unison.

Then they both wince at realizing they agree on something. 

Ew .

“Who does he even have a crush on?” Atsushi questions

“Again, I don’t have a crush.” Akutagawa folds his arms in front of his chest.

“I don’t know, why don’t you tell me?” Ranpo crosses his arms behind his head, smiling eerily.

“Wh–”

Akutagawa cuts Atsushi off, “Back to business, I’m here for Kyouka. Bring her to me.”

“Of course.” Kunikida leaves to go get her.

They fall into an awkward silence.

“...Thank you.” Atsushi breaks the quiet.

“You’re welcome.” Akutagawa mutters under his breath.

Then, he says louder, “Someone needed to take care of your sorry ass.”

“Oh, fuck you.” Atsushi figures that the kindness was only for one night, then.

“See? Gay.” Ranpo chimes in.

Atsushi’s jaw drops at the implication that Akutagawa has a crush on him, and for some reason, his cheeks are heating up, and there’s a sharp tug of something in his chest. If Atsushi was the one that Ranpo claimed Akutagawa had a crush on, then he’s the same person Akutagawa said he hates. The thought shouldn’t hurt as much as it did, and the tug grows louder. Atsushi distantly processes Akutagawa cursing out Ranpo, and then him abruptly stopping once Kunikida comes back out with Kyouka.

“Sorry for the wait, she was using the bathroom.”

“No worries, I’m glad you brought her out.” Akutagawa responds to Kunikida.

Akutagawa leans down and says something in hushed whispers to Kyouka, and her face visibly brightens. She’s somehow smiling with only her eyes, and Atusushi gets the impression that she doesn’t actually smile much. He’s decided to treasure any moment she might smile with great care.

She turns to face Atsushi. “So you’re the rival my brother is so enamored with?” She says this entirely dead pan, but her eyes are still shining, with what looks like a tinge of mischief.

“I am not enamored, I hate him!” Akutagawa indignantly cries.

Another pang. Why does this hurt so much?

“Sure sure, whatever you say.” Ranpo smirks.

Akutagawa scoffs and returns to his car, Kyouka in tow. He does not buy a wash, Atsushi bitterly recounts. Why take up space in the line if you won’t buy a wash? Though he supposes it’s better than entering the lot through the exit only side.

Which leaves Atsushi pondering his feelings for the rest of his shift. He hates Akutagawa, but is unsure why it hurts when he hates him back. Eventually, Ranpo leaves, half an hour early, with a man who has black hair over his eyes. Atsushi thinks it’s likely his previously mentioned boyfriend. Kunikida yells after the car once it picks him up, almost cursing Ranpo’s name for leaving them to close alone. Since Atsushi doesn’t know how to use the computer, Kunikida shows him, and tells him that he’s actually one of the few who know how to use it, now. Atsushi feels his heart swell with pride at this, and he’s very happy to be entrusted with the task should he close at another point in time.

All in all, it was a good day. Akutagawa and Ranpo almost ruined it, but still. 

A good day.

Chapter Text

On his eighth shift, he had forgotten to eat for two days. So, to say he was hungry was an understatement. It gnaws at and twists his insides, and he feels like his stomach is revolting, eating itself in protest and desperation. He slumps in his chair, restless yet tired out of his mind. He’s at the point of hunger where he starts getting nauseous. He’s not usually one to complain, but he finds himself doing so to Dazai, of all people.

“So go get some food at Angel’s! I’ll hold the line, don’t worry. Not busy today anyways.”

“Wow, that’s so nice of you. Half expected you to offer to get it yourself and take too much of my money to do it.” Atsushi gets up after uttering this, then adds, “And fuck your boyfriend in the bathroom while you’re at it.”

“There’s still time for that!” Dazai says, eyes lit up.

“I’ll pass.” Atsushi mutters, rolling his eyes. He heads for the door.

“Aw, boo.” Dazai laments, but Atsushi is already out the office.

The walk to the store is cold and brisk.

Once he enters, he’s greeted by an equally cold smile, from Fyodor.

The man who may or may not have sent a man to stab him.

“So, how’s the new job going?” Fyodor asks, smile widening eerily, eyes cool and empty.

“It’s…going.” Atsushi reluctantly responds.

“There’s still time to work here instead, you know?” Fyodor offers. 

There’s this freaky glint in his eye. Atsushi shudders.

“Not on your life.” Atsushi finds himself blurting out, eyes widening in shock of what he just said. 

Maybe not the smartest move to say something like that to a guy who might’ve sent an assassin after you.

Fyodor keeps smiling, baring his teeth. They flash in the light, bright white and crooked, just like his lips.

Atsushi feels a chill climb up his spine, and he hurries to find some food. Best to get in and out as fast as possible.

He settles on an egg salad sandwich.

And then he hears…odd sounds. Something wet, and panting.

He needs to get out of this store. Now .

He rushes to the counter to pay and sees a white haired man with a scar over his eye pressing Fyodor against the counter, lips almost touching, breaths coming out stuttered like they had just ran a marathon.

“Why hello there! Pop quiz, what were me and Fyodor doing just now?!” the white haired man bellows.

“I don’t know and I don’t want to know.” Atsushi musters, jaw still slack in shock.

The white haired man cackles, sharp and entirely too loud.

“I like you! You’re funny.” He all but yells.

“So are you two like…dating?” Atsushi asks, hesitantly.

“You could call it that.” Fyodor and the white haired man say in unison.

“But isn’t Fyodor dating Dazai?”

“Dazai dates other people, so does Fyodor! Though it’s true not many of Dazai’s partners are dating others.” The white haired man pipes up.

“So does Dazai date…you, too?”

“Nope!” The white haired man excitedly says.

“This is confusing.”

“It’s really not.” Fyodor speaks up, and his smile finally drops ever so slightly as he looks at the white-haired man. He’s still grinning, but it’s subsided into something less… terrifying. Almost soft, or as close as Fyodor can get to soft.

Atsushi doesn’t know what to say to that, so he just nods, and places his sandwich on the counter. The white haired man, who made Atsushi guess his name (forgetting he had a name tag on), is named Nikolai. He rings up Atsushi’s sandwich and as Atsushi leaves, Nikolai smiles and waves like a middle school girl trying and failing to flirt. Though, it’s clear flirtiness is not his intention, but rather a natural affect of his.

He’s certainly odd, that one.

When Atsushi comes back, Yosano is there, and she has Kyouka and the spiky haired girl who’s always around Akutagawa with her.

Atsushi found himself worrying that the spiky haired girl, who he learns is named Gin, was dating Akutagawa, but when he addresses her as his girlfriend she wrinkles her nose.

“No! Never in a million years, that’s my brother and he’s smelly and rude and evil .” She spits out vehemently.

Atsushi finds himself sighing in relief, then mentally punches himself for the feeling. 

Why is he relieved his enemy is single?  

Maybe he’s just glad that no one has to suffer with his nonsense.

Although, he was nice at the party. Took care of Atsushi when he was…less than his best.

Yeah, Atsushi has no idea what having a sibling is like, clearly, since he’s never had one. The closest he got was Lucy, but they only knew each other for a year. Other than that, he’s been mostly on his own.

Alone.

And it sucks, having absolutely no one to lean on. Most people have friends, or at least family, but Atsushi is reminded he has no one. Absolutely no one. He is alone in this world, and he will live, breathe, die, alone.

Well…that’s not exactly true now is it? He feels a bit like the world brightening as the sun peeks out of the clouds when he realizes he has friends here. Yosano, Kunikida, Tanizaki, Ranpo, even Dazai. They’ll look out for him. They have looked out for him.

He’s pulled out of his thoughts when Yosano tells him to take a lunch break, let her and Dazai handle the cars.

He’s grateful for the chance to eat his food, and he sees Dazai wave in a truck. He knows he’s not on the clock now, but he can’t help but glance at the trunk. 

And lo and behold, a rake is there.

There’s not supposed to be any objects in the back of trucks going through the carwash.

But he knows Dazai never checks.

So he finds himself putting his snack down and rushing for the door before Dazai can start the wash, and the driver straight up yells and curses at him. Says he’s never had to take stuff out before, that the other worker (Dazai) had said everything was fine, just going off. Atsushi is shaking, and he feels wetness building up in his eyes.

Earlier in the week, he had almost let a truck with stuff in the back through, just because the trucker yelled and he didn’t know what to do. 

Yosano had thankfully stepped in, saying, “You can’t let them go through with junk in the trunk. It’ll fly right out, hit the windshield of the car behind it, and crack it. It’s not fair to the cars behind the truck to let them through. I know it’s hard, but you need to stand up, not just for yourself, but for the people in the car behind you.”

So, he swallows back tears and insists.

And the man finally agrees, as long as Atsushi takes the rake out himself. Atsushi offers to leave it by the vacuums, despite the man angrily saying to dump it. But when he checks later, it’s gone, so clearly he still wanted it.

When Yosano finds out, she congratulates him. She offers him some wine from what is apparently her secret office stash, but he declines. He’s staying off alcohol for a while , thank you very much.

“Good job, little buddy!” She says, pouring herself and Dazai a cup, paper, because she doesn’t want to bring good glasses to work.

“I just did what I was supposed to, Yo-san.”

Dazai takes a sip and scrunches up his nose, immediately spits it out. 

“Ew, I hate wine.”

“We know , so why did you ask for it?”

“I want alcohol, now why did you give it to me, you know I hate it.”

“I just wanted to see you wince.”

“Oh, screw you.” Dazai, of all people, is careful not to swear around Kyouka.

They’re both smiling now, and Atsushi lets their playful bickering drone on in the background. The full body buzz he got from the anxiety of dealing with the trucker has almost vanished now, replaced with a fuzzy feeling that lifts his spirits. He even talks to Kyouka a bit, learning her favorite color (surprisingly, after black, it's pink) and how she used to call Kouyou you-you. He realizes he’s glad to work here.

It’s worth it.

Chapter Text

It’s Atsushi’s ninth shift, and he’s decided he hates working here. It’s just not worth it.

Another 4 truckers yell at him, fucking BMWs (it’s always the BMWs) pull in before he waves them in. And then, the cherry on top:

A man holds up a tip, hand hanging out of his car, and Atsushi is excited to finally have a nice customer. Technically, they’re not allowed tips, but money is money, and it’d be rude to decline.

So he walks up to take the tip, and it’s snatched away from him.

“Ah ah ah, you better smile for it, darling.” The customer says.

Fuck . He thought he was passing today. 

He can barely muster a smile, all teeth and his nose is involuntarily scrunching like he just smelled something foul.

He reaches for the tip again. The man pulls it back further.

“A real smile. You’d look so pretty if you really smiled.”

Okay, fuck this bastard. Atsushi almost doesn’t want the tip anymore, it’s not worth it and this mofo is holding up the line. A few cars honk so Atsushi just smiles again, ready to brush him off.

The man finally just gives him the tip, and Atsushi is tempted to curse him under his breath.

But, he holds back. He doesn’t want to be the reason behind a bad review and potentially get fired (not like the latter is likely, they’re short on people). And at least he had some money for his troubles, now. And in reality, it’s not like he was asking for much. It’s a customer service job, Atsushi should be smiling anyway. Right?

But it still saddens and irks him, for some reason. He brings the car through.

Then the car comes through, and the next, and the next. One of the cars rolls their window down to yell at Atsushi for taking so long. Atsushi feels his lip quivering. His legs feel like they’re about to give out. His arms feel like jelly and his hands are shaking and his vision is blurry and oh shit, he’s about to cry. He’s at his breaking point, so when Yosano brings him in to switch before the next car can roll through, he is so, so thankful.

He tells Dazai about the smile guy.

“Men basically only say that to women, and I’m trans, so I feel like I must not be passing or something.”

Dazai grunts. “Nah, he says that to me too, and I know I pass.” he pauses for a minute before adding, “And it’s not like he has a sixth sense, pretty sure he’s said it to all of us, including Kunikida, Ranpo, and Tanizaki.”

Atsushi almost doesn’t hear the last part out of sheer shock. Dazai does pass. Really, really well. His shoulders are broad. His jawline is sharp enough to cut cheese and just as square. It’s speckled with stubble, too. He’s tall, not just for a trans guy, but for a guy in general. His hands are big. He must be able to bind until he’s totally flat, or he’s had top surgery, though he likely can’t afford the latter. His voice is deep, like really, actually deep. 

So Atsushi finds himself asking before he can stop it, “Really? You’re trans? Like, for real? You’re trans?”

“Yes.” Dazai nods.

“Trans male?”

“ Yes .” Dazai nods deeper, eyes wide and sarcastic, almost as if to say ‘ Duh, I’m male. ’

God, that is so unfair.  

Here Atsushi is struggling with hair, clothing, binding materials, all that,desperately trying to find something to hide his feminine features, like his round face, his too-big boobs, his shortness, all that, and here Dazai is, barely even trying yet he still passes. 

Unfair .

He’s jerked out of his jealous spiral when Yosano comes back in, and complains about her girlfriend.

“She says she won’t trust me to take care of Kyouka anymore because we let her try some wine.” She slumps against the door after it shuts, almost melting down into the floor.

“We didn’t even give her that much! Just a sip to taste!” She gestures wildly with her hands. “But she says we shouldn't have even drunk around her! I mean, come on , it’s not like we were getting sloshed or anything.”

“Speak for yourself, that was definitely my goal if I was able to drink through more than a cup of that godawful liquid that dares call itself a beverage.” Dazai drawls, leaning back lazily in his chair.

Yosano pointedly ignores him, eye twitching. Likely protecting her peace.

“It’s not like she even liked it! We’re not getting her hooked on it, she’s not gonna turn into an addict over one sip that she didn’t even like .” Yosano gestures.

“Actually, she said she did like it. You two were just too busy arguing to hear.” Atsushi chimes in, and both Dazai and Yosano turn to glare at him.

“No one asked you.” Yosano says, then immediately regrets it, backpedaling.

“Sorry! I know you were stressed out there, I shouldn’t have been that rude.”

“Don’t worry about it Yo-san, I’m fine now.” Dazai lets out a small chortle and the nickname as Atsushi leans forward in his chair, tensing, keeping his eyes locked on the pay station as a car drives by the entrance, exhaling a bit in relief when it decides not to roll in. “Thanks to you. I would’ve snapped if I stayed in there any longer, so thank you.”

“Don’t worry about it!” She responds. “Of course I pulled you, you were out there for forever so a change was desperately needed.”

She checks the clock, then the schedule.

“Ah, rats. Looks like I leave in an hour, and you two are left with a gap before Kunikida comes in. I’ll have to call Fukuzawa and Kunikida to see if either can come in earlier so you two aren’t stuck in a rush with only two people.” She shakes her head. “I’d stay here if I could, but I have class.”

“No worries, we can hold down the fort.” Atsushi lies through his teeth. 

If he deals with one more rude customer, he will scream. Or cry. Or both. And then he’ll turn into a puddle of angst and anxiety on the floor that Dazai of all people would have to clean up but would probably leave until he makes a stain on the floor and starts smelling. The point is, he’s not ready for it at all.

But they’re not as busy for the rest of the shift. Kunikida comes in, Kenji and Kyouka in tow. The three K’s, when their names are in romaji. Kenji is a total chatterbox, excitedly talking about farming to an uninterested Dazai, and Kyouka is drawing in the corner.

Atsushi gingerly approaches her, and asks, “Can I see what you’re working on?”

Kyouka hesitates, before pursing her lips and nodding, waving Atsushi to come stand by her so he can see.

Atsushi obliges, expecting to see a mediocre kid drawing. Shaky lines, chicken scratch, too-bright colors that don’t compliment each other, bad anatomy, that sort of thing.

But no. What he sees instead is a professional level drawing. It looks like something a MAPPA artist drew, clean, thin lines, perfect cell shading, amazing anatomy, good composition, it’s clear she knows what she’s doing. Atsushi wishes he could draw that well, but the best he can do is a stick figure. Lucy was the one who taught him about art elements and such, since she was really into drawing.

“Wow Kyouka, that’s…really good.” he finally mustered, still absolutely gobsmacked.

“You’re just saying that.” She looks down. “Everyone just says that.”

“No, Kyouka, that’s really good. You’re really good. You could work for a company you’re that good.” Atsushi can barely verbalize just how awesome her art is, still absolutely floored by it, so he hopes he’s getting it across to her.

“You really think so?” She peeks up at him through the corner of her eye.

“ Yes .”

She falls silent hearing that, and it seems like she might actually be taking the compliment to heart. 

She finally looks back up at him and asks, “Want me to draw something for you?”

That’s a big question. Artists rarely draw for others outside of work. So it has to be something really important.

But, without thinking, Atsushi finds himself saying, “Draw a tiger.”

He immediately winces at himself.

“Brother calls you a tiger.” Kyouka mutters, smiling knowingly.

Atsushi almost wants to tell her to fuck off, but she’s a kid and he doesn’t like being mean in general, but especially not to kids. And he knows she doesn't smile often, so he wants to treasure that.

Kyouka breaks eye contact, but continues to smile, and begins drawing him a tiger.

He has to take more cars, of course, but whenever he can he sits by her, far enough that he can’t see what she’s working on (most artists hate drawing with someone breathing down their necks looking at it) hoping to be a calming presence. And at first, it seems like her shoulders are drawn tight, so he almost decides to leave to sit elsewhere, but slowly and surely, she loosens. It seems him sitting near her helps, so whenever he comes back he continues to do so.

He has to leave before she can finish it, but she promises to give it to him when he comes back the next day.

He leaves genuinely excited for his next shift, which is shocking, considering the fact that the day started off so terribly. But, he’s looking forward to it.

He walks home that day alight with anticipation.

Chapter Text

It’s Atsushi’s tenth shift, and there’s nothing to do. He’s checked the towels and the trash like 20 times and, nothing, of course, because there’s no cars. Ranpo seems to be reveling in this quiet day. Because it’s not so quiet with him monching on chips and taiyaki. Ranpo eats very loudly, Atsushi finds.

“So! How do you feel about Akutagawa!” Ranpo asks, smile mischievous and mouth still full. Gross . 

“I hate him.” Atsushi replies simply.

“Do you now? Because I can assure you he likes you .” Ranpo shoves half a bag of chips in his mouth, jaw almost unhinging to fit them all in.

“He hates me.” Atsushi responds.

“That too!” Ranpo adds. How can someone like and hate someone at the same time?

“Gee, thanks. I love being hated.” Atsushi runs a hand through his hair, and it’s greasy. He hasn’t had much time for a proper shower lately. “How do you figure he likes me?”

“It’s in the way he insults you. He’s clearly jealous and admires you.” Ranpo smirks.

“Wow, so you decide he likes me because he’s jealous of me.” Atsushi feels exhausted trying to figure out Ranpo’s thought process.

“Pretty much, yeah.”

“People can be jealous and not like the other person all the time.” Atsushi points out.

“I know, but I have a feeling he does like you.”

“You can’t decide things based on just a feeling.” Atsushi rubs the back of his neck nervously. Why is this conversation making his diaphragm feel so weird? It’s like a tingle that makes each inhale and exhale reminiscent of breathing in a harness.

“I absolutely can, because my feelings are never wrong.” Ranpo smiles knowingly.

Atsushi shakes his head. He can’t reason with this idiot.

Kunikida comes back inside, this time with Kyouka in tow. 

He gestures at Kyouka. “She won’t be here long, just looking after her until Gin can come to pick her up.”

She rushes toward Atsushi with a piece of paper in her hands.

“Here!” She says, and hands him a drawing.

It’s a tiger, as requested, with cream coloured fur and purple stripes. 

“Like your eyes!” She adds.

He has sectoral heterochromia, purple and yellow eyes, so it is like him.

“Wow Kyouka, this is really good!”

“You really think so? You’re not just saying that?” She replies.

“Yes, you did a really good job!”

“Can I see?” Ranpo chimes in, and he rolls his chair over to look, not waiting for a response.

Ranpo whistles, “Wow, now that is a drawing worthy of a lollipop!”

Kyouka blushes after getting over her indignation at Ranpo looking without yet getting permission, and Ranpo hands her the candy. She gladly takes it and quickly demolishes it.

Ranpo and Kunikida look in horror at how she eats it. She gnaws on it at first, not sucking it, just cracking off small pieces and chewing and swallowing.

“That’s not how you eat a lollipop.” Kunikida finds himself saying.

“No, I eat lollipops like that too.” Atsushi chimes in.

Kunikida and Ranpo look absolutely appalled to hear that.

“What, is that not normal?” Atsushi looks confused saying this.

“ No. ” Kunikida and Ranpo say in unison.

It’s at this moment they notice Kyouka has shrunk in on herself, having stopped eating. It seems they’ve made her insecure.

“Don’t worry Kyouka, that’s a perfectly normal way to eat lollipops.” Atsushi adds, and Kunikida and Ranpo shamefully start to nod.

Kyouka continues to eat her lollipop after this, this time hesitantly licking it. She looks to the others, as if for confirmation that this is the right way to eat a lollipop. They continue to shake their heads yes, and Atsushi joins them, nodding encouragingly.

A car rolls in, and Kunikida stands up from where he had been leaning against the counter.

“Well, I was going to send one of you home if it continued to be slow, but we’re starting to have a line-up, so you two are staying on.”

He goes to the tunnel to wave the cars in, which leaves Atsushi to check the vacuums and trash and towels. Of course, he waits a bit, letting the customers mess with things so he actually has something to do. And once he does his routine check up, sending a downright pitiful amount of towels in the wash and throwing away basically no trash, he relaxes and chats up Ranpo and Kyouka.

Kyouka stays silent for the most part, but Ranpo is very chatty. There’s a line at retail that’s building up more and more, Ranpo ignoring it and brushing Atsushi off every time he’s told to handle it.

Eventually, Kunikida comes in from the tunnel to yell at Ranpo, who finally gets off his ass to deal with sales after a threat to call his father.

And everything is going well. Gin eventually comes by to pick up Kyouka, who hugs her tightly and Gin whispers something in her ear, causing Kyouka to frown.

Kyouka opens her mouth to say something, but Gin slaps her hand over her mouth and quickly tugs her out of the office.

Huh. Weird. 

Everything has continued to go just swimmingly, but then, a customer walks up to the office.

“One of the vacuums isn’t working.” The customer informs them.

So Atsushi goes out with the tweezers to check it, and sure enough, it’s making a weird whistling noise. Suddenly, a pit opens in his stomach.

He checks the nozzle, nothing. He checks where it connects to the top, nothing. So finally, he checks where it connects to the separator. The pit is now a chasm, feeling like a sucker punch to the gut. Nothing would be able to get clogged in there accidentally, but lo and behold, he finds a towel, still rolled up perfectly, never used aside from being shoved there.

He curses under his breath. He knows who did this.

Gin.

She must’ve stuffed it in there before coming to pick Kyouka up.

He frantically checks the other separators, and lo and behold, several have been clogged in the same manner.

She just couldn’t let it go, huh? 

Dazai’s not even here, she has no reason to mess with them now. 

Unless.  

Maybe Akutagawa instructed her to do this. To mess with Atsushi, not Dazai.

Atsushi feels his blood boil. There was never any truce. Akutagawa never warmed up to him, helping him was never his priority, that night caring for him drunk meant nothing .

Atsushi is suddenly struck with the urge to cry.

He thought they could become friends. He was a fool .

He walks home that night, seething.

Chapter Text

On Atsushi’s eleventh shift he’s still mad about Gin and the vacuums, and he just knows Akutagawa is behind this. But, he sets that aside, as he wants testosterone and needs to set up an appointment for it. 

He stands, staring at his phone on the counter for what feels like hours, the number already put in. All he has to do is press the call button. But his hands are clammy and his heart is beating out of his chest and his breaths are short and–

Yosano walks in, asking, “Why are you staring at that phone like it ate your firstborn?”

“Maybe it did.” Atsushi mutters curtly, voice short from anxiety.

“Really, are you good?” She raises an eyebrow and tilts her head questioningly, concern lacing her voice.

Atsushi sighs, “Yes, Yo-san, I just have to make a doctor’s appointment.”

“Ou. Is it call only?”

Atsushi nods, “I wouldn’t be doing this if it wasn’t.”

She shakes her head, looking at him with a sense of fellowship. “I always hate making those. Here, I’ll make a script for you that you can practice before the call.”

So she writes down possible things to say and Atsushi practices a couple times in between cars (though it’s not a busy day to begin with, that’s why Atsushi took advantage of it and called) until finally, finally, he feels like he can call.

He doesn’t feel ready, and he probably never will, but he knows what to say, so he knows he’ll at least get through it now.

He picks up the phone and, before he can chicken out, quickly presses the call button. He almost hangs up immediately, but his gaze falls on Yosano, who nods encouragingly.

He doesn’t want to let her down, so he takes the call, and it actually goes…pretty well?

Right before the call ends, he looks at Yosano, who gives him a big thumbs up, and her smile brightens Atsushi’s brain and soothes his nerves. 

They’re still slow, so he keeps his phone on, waiting on the call back they promised. He lets in a car here and there but there’s rarely more than four at a time.

And then, the phone rings while he’s in the office.

He lets it ring once, twice, heart leaping into his throat and making him feel nauseous.

“Please, just answer it Atsushi. I’ll be here the whole time to help you through it.” Yosano encourages tiredly. 

So Atsushi answers.

“Oh my god, you actually picked up!” The voice on the other end says, and it’s achingly familiar. “I thought you’d still be too nervous to answer! Congratulations!”

“Lucy! It’s been forever, how are you?” Atsushi is very, very glad Yosano was here to get him to respond. “And I was, my coworker helped me pick up.”

“Glad you have good friends now!” Lucy says, and Atsushi can hear her smiling, but there’s still a certain sadness to her voice. He wonders if she’s found friends since they parted ways. “Well, I’m in town for work, do you want to meet up sometime?”

Wow, a 19 year old traveling for work? She must have a really good job.

“Absolutely!” Atsushi enthusiastically agrees. “By the way, how did you get this number?”

“Phonebook.” And Atsushi can practically see her shrug.

“Well, I’m glad you found me, I missed you.” He says.

“Ew, stop being such a sap.” Lucy laughs, then her voice goes soft. “But yeah, I missed you too.” 

They set up a time, and he almost forgets about Gin, until Kunikida comes in with Kyouka and Akutagawa in tow.

Atsushi can’t help but glare with everything he has, and Akutagawa returns the look with equal ferocity. But he notices out of the corner of his eye that Kyouka has started to look uncomfortable, so he breaks the gaze, deciding to save the animosity for later. Kyouka walks up to him and hugs him, to which Akutagawa’s eye visibly twitches (which almost makes Atsushi break out into laughter), then goes to her corner and pulls out her sketchbook.

Akutagawa turns to leave, but Atsushi grabs his wrist to pull him into the back.

“What the fuck was that?” Atsushi spits, roughly throwing Akutagawa’s hand to the side.

“You’ll have to be more specific.” Akutagawa says, brow cocked and assessing.

Atsushi shakes his head, scoffing at Akutagawa. “Playing dumb are we? I know you got Gin to clog the vacuums.”

“Gin’s actions are her own.” Akutagawa’s eyes narrow.

Atsushi huffs. “Don’t try to deny it, I know you have something against me.”

“Never said I didn’t.” Akutagawa shakes his head, seeming almost amused. “And if I did get her to do it?” 

He leans into Atsushi’s space. Their noses are almost touching and Atsushi almost stumbles back, but instead meets his gaze, not backing down.

Akutagawa tilts his head, “What would you do then, hm?” 

Atsushi can feel his breath on his mouth, and he feels his cheeks heat involuntarily.

“I. I– Fuck you.” Atsushi stutters, seething.

“You wish.” Akutagawa smirks, and Atsushi squawks.

But, he finally finds his words as Akutagawa puts his hand on the door handle, “Aren’t you the one that Ranpo says has a crush on me ?”

Akutagawa jerks his hand back and makes a fist, throwing a punch at Atsushi. He dodges, and sends another one back.

Atsushi has been in fights before. In the orphanage he had to learn a thing or two, so he knows how to hold his own. It’s clear Akutagawa does too.

So he lets his fists fly, and manages to get a good hit in on Akutagawa’s nose with a crunch that had no business being that satisfying.

And against all odds, Atsushi finds himself stopping. 

They fall into silence for a few minutes before Akutagawa moves to wipe the blood that's now coursing out from the bridge of his nose. 

“Holy shit, are you okay?” Atsushi blurts.

Akutagawa’s eyes shoot daggers at Atsushi and raises a loosely clenched fist before seemingly thinking better of it.

“Hold up, one moment.” Atsushi runs to the bathroom to use the first aid kit before realizing it’d be easier to just bring Akutagawa in there, so he yanks him by the hand into the small room.

He runs a cloth under warm water for a minute before dabbing at his nose with it, frantically scouring the kit for wipes. He switches to alcohol wipes, to which Akutagawa exhales sharply. Atsushi can feel it on his face and it makes something warm twist in his belly. He really doesn’t want to think about what that feeling means.

“I know, it’ll only hurt for a little bit.” He offers sympathetically.

“You’re not supposed to use alcohol wipes for wounds unless it’s really dirty, because it irritates the skin.” Akutagawa hisses. “Use the saline wipes.” And he gestures at where they are in the box.

Atsushi repeats him mockingly and says, “Sorry I’m not a know-it-all like you.”

“Sorry I’m not an idiot like you .” Akutagawa fires back. 

They’re so close that Atsushi can feel the heat radiating off Akutagawa’s body, and they fall into silence as Atsushi presses gauze to Akutagawa’s nose. 

Akutagawa finally breaks it as Atsushi picks out the right bandaid, “...Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it.” Atsushi lets out, barely audible. Because really, don’t mention it .

Akutagawa just nods, and once Atsushi applies the band aid he turns on his heel and leaves.

Atsushi feels cold once the heat from Akutagawa is gone, leaving a sharp spike in his chest he doesn’t know what to name.

Kunikida gives Atsushi a strange look once he leaves the bathroom, but upon seeing Atsushi’s face, clearly knows better than to ask, and for that Atsushi is thankful.

Kyouka gives him a disapproving one, and it tears his heart in two.

The rest of the shift is spent with a toiling stomach and tight chest, his mind reeling as he tries to process what just happened.

Akutagawa all but admitted to messing with him. They had a fight. And for some unknown reason, Atsushi tends to his rival’s wounds. After, again, he basically admitted to sabotaging him. What the fuck is wrong with him?

He’s stuck with that question for the rest of the week. 

At least he gets to see Lucy, talk to her about all this.

Chapter Text

Atsushi and Lucy agree to get coffee together. One of Atsushi’s favorite spots, they serve pumpkin spice and puree flavored drinks year round and their snickerdoodles are to die for. He knows Lucy would love it, because she loves anything pumpkin and snickerdoodles with a passion. They used to joke that she is the epitome of a basic white girl. 

Lucy fiddles with the straw of her pumpkin chai and asks, “So, what’s new?”

“A lot .” 

Atsushi tells her about his new job at a car wash, about how both a convenience store and a street racing collective are out to get him. He regales her with the chocolate gun story, as well as the broken and stuffed vacuums at the mercy of the collective. And, hesitantly, he tells her about Akutagawa. Helping him drunk, the betrayal of what he had Gin do, and tending to his wounds after punching him.

“Wow, okay. You sure you’re not the one with a crush on him? ” She says, raising a brow.

“Very sure.” Atsushi denies, vehemently shaking his head.

“Alright, if you say so.” She smiles, seeming almost relieved. 

I guess Akutagawa has been pretty toxic. Atsushi thinks. He feels his heart drop to his stomach at the thought, and wonders why it hurts so much to acknowledge that.

“It’s crazy that your coworker’s boyfriends have it out for you though.” Lucy sets her tea down.

“Not all of them! Kunikida and Chuuya have been nothing but nice to me, granted I haven’t talked to Chuuya much.” Atsushi responds, setting his own drink down.

“By the way, what’s your new job?” He cocks his head to the side, questioning.

“I signed an NDA, so I can’t say.” Lucy replies curtly, then deflects, “So, why do you think Akutagawa hates you?”

Atsushi feels a needle in his chest. He knows Lucy can’t share everything with him, but it still hurts not to know. But, she’s moving the conversation along, so he needs to move along with it.

“Dazai snubbed him in favor of me, so I think he’s trying to trip me up to make me seem lesser in his eyes.” Atsushi states.

“So then why would he target you when Dazai isn’t at work?” Lucy asks.

Atsushi pauses for a moment. Why would he do that?

“I don’t know, to spite me?”

“That makes sense, but what real reason does he have to spite you? He only dislikes you because Dazai likes you.” Lucy says, “Wouldn’t it make more sense to only mess with you when Dazai is around?”

“Maybe he doesn’t want to be seen badly by Dazai?” Atsushi offers.

“Maybe.” Lucy doesn’t seem convinced.

They spend the rest of the time at the cafe catching up, and Atsushi learns that Lucy has made very few friends since leaving the orphanage.

“All of my coworkers are so much older than me, so none of them want to be my friend.” She complains.

“So are my coworkers, but they still make an effort to be friendly with me.” Atsushi adds, “Maybe they just suck.”

“Maybe.” Lucy agrees.

They eventually leave the cafe, and Lucy asks Atsushi to stay over at her air bnb, to which he agrees. They spend the afternoon and night in their sleepwear, lounging on the couch together watching a shitty romcom. Atsushi in his elephant boxers, the snout looking deflated because there’s no dick to fill it, and Lucy in a frilly, flowery nightdress.

“Oh, I hate this man so much.” Lucy says, playing with the rim of her mug of hot chocolate as she leans against Atsushi.

“I know right? First he claims he loves her, then he betrays her for the corporation, and I’ll bet you 1000 yen she just forgives him when he apologizes and continues to destroy her farm.” Atsushi huffs.

Lucy nods vigorously, “I know right? Bro can’t just utter a ‘whoops, sorry!’ and get forgiven just like that only an idiot would do that in real life.”

Lucy takes her last sip, then places the cup on the counter and lays her head in Atsushi’s lap, grabbing his hands and bringing them to her head. Atsushi, recognizing the signal, starts massaging her scalp.

“Ohhhh, that feels soooo goooood.” Lucy drawls, eyes fluttering shut as the corners of her mouth twitch upwards.

Atsushi continues playing with her hair, eventually getting his fingers caught on a tangle, so he grabs a nearby comb and starts brushing her hair.

He notices faint traces of pink on her cheeks, and wonders why she’s blushing. They’ve seen each other naked before (though not on purpose) what is there to be embarrassed about? Maybe she’s embarrassed by her hair being a bit matted, it was a little shameful that Atsushi only carded his hands through her hair for a couple seconds before finding a knot. They lay like this for a while, not saying anything, and eventually, the movie ends. 

Atsushi finishes brushing her hair shortly after, to which Lucy gets up and gets them both a glass of water. She directs him to the bathroom and tells him to just use her spare toothbrush, she bought a pack upon getting here because she forgot hers so it’s perfectly clean. Atsushi does, and they end up both brushing their teeth side by side. Their elbows knock, they laugh, and they fall asleep curled up next to each other like they did when they were kids. Atsushi normally sleeps like a baby when with Lucy, and until now, she had kept the thoughts of Akutagawa at bay. But now, in the dark of night, he thinks of his cheeks and nose stained red with more than just the blood Atsushi forced out of them, the heat of Akutagawas body against his, how he felt under Atsushi's fingers as he cleaned up the wound and patched him up. The coldness he left in his absence. How Atsushi felt like something was ripped out of him at the thought of them returning to normal. He didn't get much sleep that night.

When Atsushi wakes up, hear ruffled from tossing and turning all night, it’s to a note telling him Lucy had to leave for her job, which reminds him that he needs to go to his in roughly 10 minutes. He panics, rushing for the bus station.

“I’m really, really sorry Kunikida-san!” He blurts into his phone, “I lost track of time and I’m going to be late, again I’m really, really sorry!”

“It’s okay Atsushi, as long as you don’t make a habit out of it there’ll be no problems.”

He practically runs to work as soon as the bus stops, weaving through people like his life depends on it. Still, he’s glad he spent the night with Lucy, and hopes they get to spend time together again soon. He managed to make it to work 5 minutes late, which was good given when he left.

Chapter Text

Atsushi's twelfth shift, he feels like dying. He’s still plagued by the feeling of Akutagawa's cheek under his hand as he applied bandages, the heat of it, the faint flush on Akutagawa’s cheeks, and despite him sleeping next to Lucy, something that helped him rest, he still didn’t get much of it because he kept thinking of Akutagawa. It hurts to know that his treatment of him likely meant nothing to Akutagawa, and it kept him up late and had him sleeping past his alarm, which was suspiciously off. 

Maybe Lucy had turned it off, thinking she was helping him.

Still, he had to call Kunikida to tell him that he’d be late, but he had no idea who Kunikida put on the schedule with him, because he forgot to check. He finds out it’s Yosano and Dazai, and that Kunikida will be coming in later to take over for Dazai. Which means Dazai is going to have to rely on Sigma, Fyodor, or Chuuya to get him home. Atsushi isn’t sure why he’s thinking of this, as it’s none of his business who Dazai goes home with, but for some reason he’s decided to keep track of who Dazai stays with. It was supposed to be Chuuya’s turn a while back, but instead Kunikida then Fyodor picked him up. So it makes sense that Kunikida wouldn’t be the one Dazai stays with. And he hears that Fyodor, Nikolai, and Sigma all live together, so chances are, it’ll be Chuuya who picks him up, if Chuuya isn’t still mad at Dazai. Chuuya claimed he wanted to mess with Dazai, but it didn’t seem like he actually wanted to, because he stopped Tachihara, Gin, and Akutagawa from messing with the vacuums. Still, there’s a chance he’ll mess with them, so Atsushi has decided to be on guard.

Atsushi wants to collapse into a chair, and if Kunikida were here, there’d always be one open. Kunikida never sits down during his shifts, like a string pulled taut, always ready to do something. But Yosano usually sits, and Dazai always sits. However, Yosano, sensing his tiredness, offers her seat, to which Atsushi gratefully melts into.

“Wow, you look like you need a break, bad.” Yosano says.

“I’m tired, I’m hungry, I want to sleep because I spent all last night with Lucy staying up, please take the next cars for me, I’ll do towels and trash, just please don’t make me go out right now, Yo-san.”

“Calm down, I will. And did you spend the night at her place? What a womanizer.” Yosano accuses, wiggling her brows.

“I did, but I’d never get with her, God no. She’s like a sister to me, and I’m pretty sure I’m gay anyway.” Atsushi clarifies, looking absolutely horrified.

“Damn, didn’t mean to traumatize you, sorry. You’re just friends, got it.” Yosano shakes her head, smiling. 

Atsushi has a feeling she doesn’t mean that apology.

“What’d you two even talk about?”

Atsushi tells her about them catching up on their lives, and makes the mistake of mentioning Akutagawa.

“Maybe Ranpo was right, you two do have crushes on each other.” She jokes.

“Wait, Ranpo said that? What in the world would make him think that, we hate each other.” Atsushi replies angrily. 

“Welp, I’m going to go get a sandwich, you want anything?” Dazai suddenly asks, startling Yosano and Atsushi by standing up.

“Egg and sausage biscuit.” Yosano responds without skipping a beat.

“Aren’t you worried about owing him? He’s definitely going to ask for a horrible favor.” Atsushi asks.

“He owes me 7,900 yen. This is his way of paying it off.” She claims.

“How did he even get to owe you?” Atsushi is shocked out of his mind. “He seems like the type to never let anyone owe him anything.”

“Well, you wanna tell him?” Yosano says, smirking at Dazai.

“...I bet her 7,900 yen that Kunikida wouldn’t respond if I called him past his bedtime.” Dazai reluctantly reveals.

“And?” Yosano’s smile has grown much wider, satisfaction creeping into her voice.

“He did respond.” Dazai admitted.

“He’s very strict about his schedule, so that must mean he really cares about you. You should count yourself lucky.” Atsushi finds.

“That’s not all.” Yosano claims.

“What else is there?” Atsushi asks.

“Well, we’re waiting.” Yosano says, forcing Dazai to tell him again.

“...I called out of work at the last minute to gift shop for Chuuya’s birthday.” Dazai seems thoroughly shamed, but Yosano just has to push it further.

“Because?”

“I forgot about his birthday.” Dazai hesitantly adds.

“Bingo!” Says Yosano, turning to Atsushi and smiling triumphantly.

“So, what’d you get him?”

“A bottle of wine–” Dazai starts, but Yosano cuts him off.

“And who helped you pick that out?”

“...You.” Dazai sounds completely and utterly humiliated. 

Atsushi realizes he likes seeing him like this. Very different from his usual aura of composure as he ruthlessly tears down others. He doesn’t know what it says about him as a person that he likes to see Dazai ashamed, but he’s decided he doesn’t care right now.

“Oh yeah, what else did you get?” Yosano adds.

“A chain and a collar, because he’s my dog.” Dazai casually mentions, unbridled confidence (unfortunately) returning.

“Didn’t need to know that.” Yosano and Atsushi speak in unison.

“And some dog toys.” Dazai wiggles his brows suggestively while saying ‘toys’.

Yosano winces, “Please, I implore you, shut the fuck up.”

“Just, get the sandwich, please.” Atsushi mutters, “And please tell me this isn’t an excuse to go fuck your boyfriend in the bathroom.”

“I did bring my strap.” Dazai says, looping one arm through his backpack and edging out the door.

“DIDN’T NEED TO KNOW THAT.” Yosano and Atsushi yell in unison.

Dazai leaves, and Yosano and Atsushi are left in a comfortable quiet.

“So, what’s your favorite colour?” Yosano asks, breaking the silence.

“Icy blue, what about you?”

“The colour of my girlfriend's hair.”

“Ew, gay.” Atsushi fires back.

“Just kidding, it’s purple and gold.” Yosano says.

They return to quiet, until Atsushi remembers Kyouka’s gift to him. The stripes on the tiger drawing are purple, so he decides to show it to Yosano.

“Isn’t she so talented, Yo-san? I could see her becoming a professional character designer or animator someday.” He gushes.

“You seem like you’ve really taken to that kid, Atsushi.” Yosano smiles wistfully. “I wish I could be in her life again, but Kouyou has been pretty firm about her not seeing me at the moment. Still, I think she’ll eventually forgive me for giving her alcohol. She is at the age where it’s not too damaging.”

“Well, I hope so. You two seem like you’d be a good pair.”

“We would, wouldn’t we?” She responds.

Dazai actually returns at a reasonable time, and they eat their lunch in silence.

Kunikida comes in a couple of minutes, likely with Kyouka and Kenji in tow, and Atsushi is excited to see them again.

Chapter Text

Atsushi's twelfth shift, he feels like dying. He’s still plagued by the feeling of Akutagawa's cheek under his hand as he applied bandages, the heat of it, the faint flush on Akutagawa’s cheeks, and despite him sleeping next to Lucy, something that helped him rest, he still didn’t get much of it because he kept thinking of Akutagawa. It hurts to know that his treatment of him likely meant nothing to Akutagawa, and it kept him up late and had him sleeping past his alarm, which was suspiciously off. 

Maybe Lucy had turned it off, thinking she was helping him.

Still, he had to call Kunikida to tell him that he’d be late, but he had no idea who Kunikida put on the schedule with him, because he forgot to check. He finds out it’s Yosano and Dazai, and that Kunikida will be coming in later to take over for Dazai. Which means Dazai is going to have to rely on Sigma, Fyodor, or Chuuya to get him home. Atsushi isn’t sure why he’s thinking of this, as it’s none of his business who Dazai goes home with, but for some reason he’s decided to keep track of who Dazai stays with. It was supposed to be Chuuya’s turn a while back, but instead Kunikida then Fyodor picked him up. So it makes sense that Kunikida wouldn’t be the one Dazai stays with. And he hears that Fyodor, Nikolai, and Sigma all live together, so chances are, it’ll be Chuuya who picks him up, if Chuuya isn’t still mad at Dazai. Chuuya claimed he wanted to mess with Dazai, but it didn’t seem like he actually wanted to, because he stopped Tachihara, Gin, and Akutagawa from messing with the vacuums. Still, there’s a chance he’ll mess with them, so Atsushi has decided to be on guard.

Atsushi wants to collapse into a chair, and if Kunikida were here, there’d always be one open. Kunikida never sits down during his shifts, like a string pulled taut, always ready to do something. But Yosano usually sits, and Dazai always sits. However, Yosano, sensing his tiredness, offers her seat, to which Atsushi gratefully melts into.

“Wow, you look like you need a break, bad.” Yosano says.

“I’m tired, I’m hungry, I want to sleep because I spent all last night with Lucy staying up, please take the next cars for me, I’ll do towels and trash, just please don’t make me go out right now, Yo-san.”

“Calm down, I will. And did you spend the night at her place? What a womanizer.” Yosano accuses, wiggling her brows.

“I did, but I’d never get with her, God no. She’s like a sister to me, and I’m pretty sure I’m gay anyway.” Atsushi clarifies, looking absolutely horrified.

“Damn, didn’t mean to traumatize you, sorry. You’re just friends, got it.” Yosano shakes her head, smiling. 

Atsushi has a feeling she doesn’t mean that apology.

“What’d you two even talk about?”

Atsushi tells her about them catching up on their lives, and makes the mistake of mentioning Akutagawa.

“Maybe Ranpo was right, you two do have crushes on each other.” She jokes.

“Wait, Ranpo said that? What in the world would make him think that, we hate each other.” Atsushi replies angrily. 

“Welp, I’m going to go get a sandwich, you want anything?” Dazai suddenly asks, startling Yosano and Atsushi by standing up.

“Egg and sausage biscuit.” Yosano responds without skipping a beat.

“Aren’t you worried about owing him? He’s definitely going to ask for a horrible favor.” Atsushi asks.

“He owes me 7,900 yen. This is his way of paying it off.” She claims.

“How did he even get to owe you?” Atsushi is shocked out of his mind. “He seems like the type to never let anyone owe him anything.”

“Well, you wanna tell him?” Yosano says, smirking at Dazai.

“...I bet her 7,900 yen that Kunikida wouldn’t respond if I called him past his bedtime.” Dazai reluctantly reveals.

“And?” Yosano’s smile has grown much wider, satisfaction creeping into her voice.

“He did respond.” Dazai admitted.

“He’s very strict about his schedule, so that must mean he really cares about you. You should count yourself lucky.” Atsushi finds.

“That’s not all.” Yosano claims.

“What else is there?” Atsushi asks.

“Well, we’re waiting.” Yosano says, forcing Dazai to tell him again.

“...I called out of work at the last minute to gift shop for Chuuya’s birthday.” Dazai seems thoroughly shamed, but Yosano just has to push it further.

“Because?”

“I forgot about his birthday.” Dazai hesitantly adds.

“Bingo!” Says Yosano, turning to Atsushi and smiling triumphantly.

“So, what’d you get him?”

“A bottle of wine–” Dazai starts, but Yosano cuts him off.

“And who helped you pick that out?”

“...You.” Dazai sounds completely and utterly humiliated. 

Atsushi realizes he likes seeing him like this. Very different from his usual aura of composure as he ruthlessly tears down others. He doesn’t know what it says about him as a person that he likes to see Dazai ashamed, but he’s decided he doesn’t care right now.

“Oh yeah, what else did you get?” Yosano adds.

“A chain and a collar, because he’s my dog.” Dazai casually mentions, unbridled confidence (unfortunately) returning.

“Didn’t need to know that.” Yosano and Atsushi speak in unison.

“And some dog toys.” Dazai wiggles his brows suggestively while saying ‘toys’.

Yosano winces, “Please, I implore you, shut the fuck up.”

“Just, get the sandwich, please.” Atsushi mutters, “And please tell me this isn’t an excuse to go fuck your boyfriend in the bathroom.”

“I did bring my strap.” Dazai says, looping one arm through his backpack and edging out the door.

“DIDN’T NEED TO KNOW THAT.” Yosano and Atsushi yell in unison.

Dazai leaves, and Yosano and Atsushi are left in a comfortable quiet.

“So, what’s your favorite colour?” Yosano asks, breaking the silence.

“Icy blue, what about you?”

“The colour of my girlfriend's hair.”

“Ew, gay.” Atsushi fires back.

“Just kidding, it’s purple and gold.” Yosano says.

They return to quiet, until Atsushi remembers Kyouka’s gift to him. The stripes on the tiger drawing are purple, so he decides to show it to Yosano.

“Isn’t she so talented, Yo-san? I could see her becoming a professional character designer or animator someday.” He gushes.

“You seem like you’ve really taken to that kid, Atsushi.” Yosano smiles wistfully. “I wish I could be in her life again, but Kouyou has been pretty firm about her not seeing me at the moment. Still, I think she’ll eventually forgive me for giving her alcohol. She is at the age where it’s not too  damaging.”

“Well, I hope so. You two seem like you’d be a good pair.”

“We would, wouldn’t we?” She responds.

Dazai actually returns at a reasonable time, and they eat their lunch in silence.

Kunikida comes in a couple of minutes, likely with Kyouka and Kenji in tow, and Atsushi is excited to see her again.

When Kunikida arrives, he brings the two k’s and a laptop. 

“Once I’m done with school work, the four of you can watch a movie.” Kunikida says, “In between cars, for the two of you.” He glances at Atsushi and Dazai.

Kenji lights up. 

“Can we watch a documentary?” He asks.

Kyouka opens her mouth, but before she can say anything, Dazai adds his two cents, “how about a horror movie?”

“Kyouka, what do you want to watch?” Atsushi asks.

“...Horror comedy film.” She offers shyly.

“And you, Atsushi?” Kunikida questions.

“I don’t care.”

“Two votes for horror, so that’s what we’ll watch. Dazai, any preferences on the subgenre?” commands Kunikida.

“Horror comedy is fine.” Dazai says, smiling and nodding encouragingly at Kyouka. He seems to regret cutting her off earlier.

“Alright, horror comedy it is. Let me get this car real quick before I start on my work.” Kunikida decides, stepping into the tunnel.

The rest of the shift goes like this, Kunikida popping in to get homework done, but spending most of his time doing school work, checking/cleaning towels and throwing out trash.

“Thank you, Atsushi, for taking over the tunnel for the majority of this shift.” Kunikida sounds almost excessively grateful.

Atsushi waves him off, saying, “Don’t worry about it! I know life is tough on you between school, work and kids.”

“Truly, I deeply appreciate you doing something when this lazy bum forces me into the pay station.” Kunikida nods his head in Dazai’s direction, to which Dazai indignantly squawks.

“I’ll have you know I have the very important task of caring for these children right now!” Dazai says, holding a cloth full of carrots that Kenji just gave him, not even pretending to be interested in them.

“Yeah, you’ve been doing so much, we get it.” Atsushi murmurs.

“What was that?” Kunikida and Dazai look at Atsushi, completely shocked.

“..oh. Did I say that out loud?” Atsushi rubs the back of his neck anxiously, “Sorry.”

“No, you’re good, and right, it just surprised me.” Dazai claims.

They fall into silence in between Kunikida’s incessant tapping on his computer. Atsushi can feel himself drifting off this plane at the noise, which is why he’s grateful for the little break every once in a while when a car comes or when Kunikida checks something off in his notebook.

Dazai gazes adoringly at Kunikida as he checks another item off the list.

“It’s hot how organized you are,” He says bluntly.

Kunikida flushes.

“Wh–You–” Kunikida flusters. “Don’t think you’re coming home with me tonight, you and Chuuya need to talk.”

“Yeah, yeah, get off my ass about it.” Dazai brushes him off.

“I’m serious! It’s not fair to h–” Dazai cuts Kunikida off with a glare.

“Not here.” Dazai glowers.

Kunikida hesitantly agrees. “Sorry for bringing it up.”

“So, are you and Chuuya dating, Kunikida?” Atsushi wonders.

“No, we’re both monogamous.”

Atsushi scrunches his nose. “How does that work?”

“We both only want to date one person, but we’re also both fine with that person dating others. Technically still monogamous, just only on one side.” Kunikida pushes up his glasses. “Or rather, two, in this case.”

“And you don’t get jealous?”

“Of course I sometimes get jealous of my metamours, but we work through that through communication.” Kunikida clarifies.

“Huh, neat.” Atsushi responds.

A couple minutes later, Kunikida turns around his laptop, showing Netflix on the screen. 

“I’m done, you all can start on the movie now.”

“Yippee!!” Kenji shouts.

Kyouka and Dazai look just as, if not more, excited.

“Calm down, no need to yell.” Kunikida says, but the trio is already rushing to pick out a movie. As per their original choice, it has to be a horror comedy, but Dazai and Kyouka can’t seem to agree on what they want. Then, Kenji chips in, asking for a movie with agriculture involved.

“No!!” Kyouka and Dazai speak in unison.

“There’s actually a movie that you two were already considering that takes place on a farm. How about we choose that one?” Atsushi aims to compromise.

“Fine.” Kyouka and Dazai are perfectly in sync, Dazai’s pout somehow looking even more childish than Kyouka’s.

So they start a movie and Atsushi is enjoying it, until partway through it, a familiar car pulls up.

Black, with white stripes.

He feels a drop of dread at facing him again, and a funny feeling in his chest that he needs to ignore.

Akutagawa parks in the Angel’s lot, much to Atsushi’s chagrin, since he now has no reason to scold him now and has to actually just apologize like a normal person.

So when Akutagawa walks up to pick Kyouka up, Atsushi is forced to apologize, something he both genuinely wants to do and hates that he has to do.

“I’m sorry for breaking your nose.” 

Atsushi starts, but Akutagawa cuts him off.

“…thanks. For taking care of me.” Akutagawa mutters, “I provoked you, so I deserved it.”

Atsushi smiles. He was actually receptive to the apology. Maybe this won’t be so bad.

“I accused you of something, that you may or may not have done, you had your reasons to fight me.” Atsushi softly adds, “Someone needed to take care of your sorry ass.”

Akutagawa scoffs, but his smile tells a different story.

Why did they even hate each other, again?

Dazai returns, and suddenly Atsushi remembers. Akutagawa blamed him for his mentor’s shittiness, and acted like a dick because of it, making it Atsushi’s problem. He feels his face harden, and Akutagawa’s is matching.

“Oh, what are you doing here, my ex-pupil?” Dazai emphasizes the ex. 

“I’m here to pick up Kyouka, but Gin has someone over, so I’m going to have to stay here for a while.”

“You could just take Kyouka for ice cream or something.” Dazai snidely offers.

Atsushi is struck with just how immature Dazai is. Whatever Akutagawa did, it certainly doesn’t warrant this. But he supposes Akutagawa is also immature, blaming Atsushi for something that wasn’t even his fault.

“No way! I want to watch the rest of the movie, it is just getting good!” Kyouka chirps, pausing the movie, eyes pleading. “Please please please I’ll be good I just want to finish this!”

Akutagawa seems shocks, and Atsushi is struck with the sense that Kyouka doesn’t press for things often.

“Tell me the name of the movie and we can watch the rest at home.”

“And how long will it take for Gin’s partner to leave?” Kyouka practically begs, “I want to finish it here, with Atsushi and the others. Please?”

Akutagawa's face darkens at the mention of Atsushi, but it’s outweighed by his surprise.

“Fine, you can stay here. Can I watch the movie with you?” He asks Dazai as much as he asks Kyouka.

“Fine.” Dazai tersely says, shoulders drawing close to his ears and body closed off from Akutagawa.

“Absolutely.” Kyouka nods vigorously, and Akutagawa seems to take solace in her enthusiasm.

Akutagawa takes the furthest seat from Dazai, which happens to be right by Kyouka and Atsushi.

“Don’t think we’re all buddy buddy now.” He utters.

“I wouldn't dream of it.” Atsushi replies.

As the movie goes on, it gets scarier, and embarrassingly, Atsushi finds himself clinging to Akutagawa. Kyouka is somehow unphased, which adds to Atsushi’s shame, because if an actual child is faring better at braving this movie than him, he’s got some issues. 

“Would you stop grabbing at me?” Akutagawa hisses.

“I can’t, it just freaks me out–OH SHIT–” Atsushi ducks at another jumpscare, hiding his face in Akutagawa's shoulder, to which he is rudely pushed off.

“Aww, nice to see my boys in love.” Dazai teases with a shit eating grin.

“NOT IN LOVE.” Said boys shout in unison.

Kyouka jerks up, and Atsushi is hit with the realization that not only is she not scared at the movie, she’s actively falling asleep to it. 

The movie goes on, and Atsushi finds himself glued to Akutagawa’s side while he laughs, and eventually Kyouka rests her head on them both and fully succumbs to sleep.

“I can’t believe she can actually be tired when this is playing.” Atsushi finds himself gripping Akutagawa’s arm harder.

“It’s not even supposed to be scary right now, you’re such a wimp.” Akutagawa smirks.

“A wimp who broke your nose.”

“And apologized immediately to treat it, yeah, you’re not just a wimp, you’re a doormat.” Akutagawa whispers, to which Atsushi is glad, because:

“Say that any louder and I’ll break it again.”

“OOooOOoOOooOooo I’m quivering in my boots I’m oh so scared.” Akutagawa jokes.

“I will.”

“Sure you will, you’ll have to stop clutching my shoulder for long enough to actually make a swing.”

Atsush finds himself grabbing on harder as another jumpscare plays. 

“Oh, fuck you.”

“You wish.” 

“Do you have any better lines than that?” Atsushi irritatedly questions. Akutagawa had said that before.

“Stop your lovers quarrel and get me a sandwich, Tetchou’s running the shop tonight so I don’t feel like going.” Dazai butts in.

“Go get it yourself, lazy bum.” Kunikida says.

“Hmmmm how about no?”

So Atsushi, suddenly grateful as he realizes this is his way out of the rest of the movie, carefully readjusts Kyouka so she’s only leaning on Akutagawa, and leaves.

He ignores the way he misses the physical contact, and makes his way to the store.

He walks in on a black haired man stabbing a white-haired man with red tips with an umbrella.

White haired man’s nametag reads Jouno, and black haired man seems to be Tetchou.

What’s odder, is that under the apron uniform of the store, they seem to be wearing police uniforms.

“What’s with the cop get-up?” Atsushi asks.

Suddenly realizing someone else is there, the two straighten, pretending they weren’t just…whatever they were doing.

“Ah, we just got off patrol.” Jouno says.

“Cops usually get paid decently, why are you working a second job?” Atsushi questions.

“Ah, our boss bought all the Angel’s in the district to pay off some debt. He doesn’t have enough staff, so we fill in for him when he can’t make up for it.” Tetchou adds.

“Oh, cool.” Atsushi responds.

He picks out a sandwich, and faintly hears the two hiss at each other, continuing whatever fight they were in.

It seems very one-sided, Jouno attacking and Tetchou having none of it. Still, none of Atsushi’s business, so he buys the sandwich and leaves.

Once he gets back, the movie is almost over, and Dazai makes grabby hands in his direction.

“Gimme gimme.”

“It was 400 yen, pay up.” Atsushi says.

“But wasn’t it a generous gift to the absolutely wonderful being that is yours truly?” Dazai bats his eyelashes.

“Not on your life.”

Dazai sighs and hands Atsushi 400 yen.

Atsushi pockets it and watches as the credits roll, thankful that the movie is finally over. He watches as Akutagawa gently shakes Kyouka awake, and she yawns cutely.

Akutagawa gently takes her by the hand and pulls her toward the door, waving goodbye to everyone (including, shockingly, Atsushi), as he goes.

Maybe they aren’t just enemies anymore.

Maybe.

The shift is over, and Sigma drives in with Fyodor's lambo, presumably to pick up Dazai.

And when Dazai goes to get into the car, Kunikida yells after him, but by that point, they're already driving off.

Atsushi distantly remembers he was supposed to go home with Chuuya that night.

Huh, weird.

Chapter Text

Atsushi meets with Lucy at the arcade this time. They’re playing mortal combat, and inbetween furious clicking they talk.

“Why is Dazai such an asshole to Akutagawa? It seems totally unnecessary.” Lucy says, tongue sticking out and eyes glazed in concentration.

“It does. I think something happened while he was with Port Motors.” Atsushi responds, tilting his head while moving the stick like that would somehow help him win.

“Maybe it involved Akutagawa?” Lucy presses.

“I don’t think so, or Akutagawa wouldn't have asked him to come back the way he did.”

“You have such faith in his character for someone who claims to hate him.” Lucy teases.

Atsushi flushes. 

Lucy continues, “So let’s say it’s just because Akutagawa reminds him of Port Motors…wouldn’t Chuuya also do that?”

“I didn’t even think about that.” Atsushi admits. 

“So it must’ve been something Akutagawa did. He called you better than him, so it’s likely something he did that you didn’t, or vice versa.”

“Well, I heard from Kunikida that Dazai was avoiding Chuuya for some reason, so maybe that’s why. Though he was at Chuuya’s place to replace his wine, so it could be something else.” Atsushi adds.

“Hm, no, that’s a viable reason. From what you’ve said it sounds like Chuuya and Dazai like messing with each other, so maybe that was his way of saying they’re okay, even if he doesn’t want to be around him?” Lucy questions.

“Maybe.”

“By the way, how’s your love life looking, minus the guy you don’t have a crush on.” Lucy sounds overly casual asking this.

“Well I’m definitely not dating everyone the way Dazai is–” Atsushi notices a familiar head sticking out from above the machines. “Oh shoot, speak of the devil!” 

In the split second Atsushi loses focus, Lucy wins.

“Hah! You owe me a pumpkin spice latte!”

“Hey, no fair!”

“Wait but you said Dazai’s here?” Lucy asks, conspiratorily. 

Atsushi peeks out from behind the game, not sure why he’s hiding but hiding anyway. And he spots yet another familiar face.

“Yeah, with Chuuya.” He whispers.

They both look really tense. Dazai is playing with his bandages, and Chuuya seems concerned. He says something, but Atsushi can’t make it out.

“Why are we hiding?” Lucy questions.

“I don’t know.” Atsushi admits.

Dazai replies, but it’s still inaudible, which prompts Chuuya to yell at him. He clearly immediately regrets it, saying something that couldn’t be anything other than an apology. 

Then, Dazai cuts him off, taking him by the hand and heading towards…oh shit.

“Fuck, they’re coming this way, what do we do?!?!” Atsushi hisses.

“Oh hey! What a surprise seeing you here!” Dazai drawls, excessively friendly.

He moves away from Chuuya a great deal, and Chuuya looks miffed at that, but he quickly hides it with a smile.

“Oh hey, I remember you. Atsushi, right?” Chuuya asks.

“Yep, that’s me.” Atsushi stammered.

“Nice. Well, we’ll get–”

“Play a round with us!” Dazai cuts Chuuya off, to which Chuuya slightly glares, a twitch in his eye.

“You said we’d talk.” He mumbles under his breath, leaning in so only Dazai could hear.

“Oh Chuuya, I took you to an arcade. I never had any intention of talking today.” Dazai murmurs, same volume.

He then draws back and cackles.

“Fucking assho–” Chuuya starts, but Dazai is already strutting to the four-player mario game.

“C’mon, let's play!” Dazai puts a coin in and the rest hesitantly follow suit. 

After the many, many, games that Dazai wins, the others slowly but surely get sick of it.

“Let’s play something else.” Atsushi tiredly suggests.

But Dazai wins at everything.

Eventually, they’re at a claw machine, and everyone is stuck at multiple tries, nothing. 

Everyone except Dazai. The bastard walks up all smug and takes the biggest plushie there: the snail.

“Here you go, Chibi! There was no slug, so I got the next best thing.” Dazai holds it out to Chuuya.

“Fuck. You.” Chuuya spits out, and Atsushi is right there with him.

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” Dazai says, curling a finger under Chuuya’s choker and tugging.

Chuuya flusters.

“Just take the damn plushie and quit your gross flirting.” Atsushi sighs.

“Hey, I did nothin–” Chuuya sputters, but is interrupted by Dazai.

“I’ll die.” He says, deadpan, “I have a terminal illness that makes me asphyxiate and die if I spend more than 10 minutes not flirting.” He continues, nodding seriously. 

“Not that I’d entirely mind that.” He mutters.

“See! Perfect compromise! You get to die, we are no longer subjected to your horniness.” Lucy clasps her hands together and despite the cheeriness in her tone, it’s clear she is done with Chuuya and Dazai’s antics.

They had been fighting and stepping on each other's metaphorical toes all evening. 

Something was clearly up, and what sometimes felt teasing was often laced with a certain realness that made it clear, there was an argument that needed to happen, and they needed to be alone together for it.

So Atsushi suggests the photo booth.

“It can only fit two at a time, so you two go first!” He says, shoving the both of them in.

“No, we can fit four if–ow.” Dazai begins, but is cut off by a punch to his gut.

“We’ll do it.” Chuuya smiles, all teeth.

At first, Atsushi and Lucy hear angry grumbles, and they think they’re finally sorting shit out.

But then the moans start.

Oh shit.

Atsushi is caught between opening the booth to break them up, or saving himself from the likely traumatizing image of the two doing…whatever they’re doing… and running away.

Lucy chooses for him, grabbing him by the hand and dragging him away.

“We did what we could, it’s not our problem now.” She softly utters.

“But–”

She places her finger over his mouth and shushes him.

“No buts. Let’s just move on and have fun.” 

So they do have fun. They play the few games they didn’t play earlier, and even some of the ones Dazai beat them at. The latter games were much more fun when they weren’t being completely and wholly crushed by him. 

Lucy begs Atsushi for cotton candy from a machine, claiming that she has no more money in her wallet.

Atsushi sees through her lie, but buys it for her anyways, a pink heart she happily digs into and even lets him have some bites of.

All in all, the day ends well.

Chapter Text

Akutagawa has no idea how he feels about Atsushi. 

He likes how he stands up to him, he likes how he’s still kind regardless, but he hates that Dazai thinks he’s better than him. 

Which makes him observe all of Atsushi’s qualities bitterly. 

He has no idea how he feels about Dazai either. 

He knows he loves him, but it’s so tinged with all the hurt he’s caused him that he doesn’t know what to do with it. 

He’s taken from his thoughts at the sound of Chuuya muttering, “How dare he ignore me, I can only be understanding for so long, asshole needs to get a fucking grip…”

Akutagawa tunes it out, focusing on what they came here for.

The tunnel.

As they pull up, 9 pm, after closing, they reach their first hurdle.

The tunnel is cut off from the world, with covers that look similar to garage doors.

On both sides.

But luckily, there’s a trim piece. Akutagawa feels a lump in his throat as he pulls it out and shoves a wedge that was lying near the door to the office under the sectional door.

He’s not supposed to feel guilty about this, but he does. 

He wants to believe Atsushi deserves this, but the idea that he actually does is laughable. He hasn’t actually done anything to him. His only flaw is being too nice. But even then, it’s not like he’s a total pushover.

Whatever. If Atsushi fails Dazai has no choice but to recognize Akutagawa as superior. That’s what he’s here for. 

He reminds himself of this and tries to fully believe it. 

He thinks of when Dazai walked into the room during the movie the other day. The look in his eyes. That thought got Akutagawa moving.

He sticks his arm under the gap and pulls on the chain, opening the roll-up door. 

They spend half an hour looking for the wiring. They’re familiar with fixing up cars, but a car wash is a whole different world. 

Still, some of what applies to cars likely applies to everything else, so when they see an important looking cylinder, they loosen it. 

They don’t know what it’ll do, but it’ll definitely do something. 

Chuuya is still muttering about Dazai, but some of it is about purposefully mistreating Akutagawa. 

Akutagawa isn’t stupid. He knows Dazai treated him terribly. But he also knows he deserves it. He almost hopes he does. Because then there’d be a reason. 

He doesn’t know what he did to deserve it, but he still knows he does.

Chuuya offered to bring him here, and Akutagawa took him up on the offer, having no spare tires and not wanting to waste time on his good ones. So he drives him home, murmuring about Dazai the whole time. It kind of annoys Akutagawa, because Dazai likely has his reasons for avoiding the both of them. Maybe it has something to do with Oda?

He returns to the apartment he shares with Gin to the sounds of her vibrator. He’s too embarrassed to tell her it’s audible, so he resigns himself to leaving the place anytime she uses it. And that’s exactly what leads him to go to his favorite cafe, partially his favorite because it’s open 24/7. 

And you’ll never guess who he runs into there. 

Think of the devil and he shall appear. Atsushi. 

And he’s with a redheaded girl, who stares at him with a fondness no one could fake. 

Akutagawa feels a pit in his stomach and nausea rising into his chest. He doesn’t know why he hurts so much, but he wants it to stop, so he turns to leave, until he feels a tap on his shoulder. 

“Akutagawa?” 

Fuck. 

Atsushi noticed him. 

“Come join us!” Atsushi seems just as surprised he said that as Akutagawa is. 

“…okay.” Akutagawa finds himself saying. 

Atsushi’s eyes light up, and Akutagawa wants to commit that face to memory. He internally shudders at the thought, disgusted with himself.  

The pit grows when he remembers what he just did. 

Too late to feel guilty. He reminds himself why he did all this, tries to convince himself he hates Atsushi, and part of him does. But it’s so hard to fully hate someone so disgustingly kind and happy. Akutagawa distantly wonders how he does it. 

“So… who’s this?” Akutagawa curses himself for asking. 

“That’s Lucy!” Atsushi ambiguously replies. 

Great. That tells Akutagawa absolutely nothing. 

“And she is?” 

“A very good friend.” Lucy responds, clutching Atsushi’s arm. 

He looks uncomfortable. His head hurts.

“Now, who are you?” She questions. 

“Akutagawa.”

“I’ve heard lots about you! You’re the asshole, right?” She boldly declares.

“Less of an asshole now.” Atsushi corrects. 

The pit in Akutagawa's stomach is now a valley. 

Oh, if only he knew. 

“C’mon, sit down!” Atsushi waves him over, so Akutagawa reluctantly sits. 

“So, what are you doing here?” 

“My sister needs some alone time.” Akutagawa’s voice is dripping with contempt.

He might actually confront her after this. He definitely needs to, his shift at the mechanics shop he works at starts at 8:00 am, and since he has no races today, he wants to utilize this time to get a full night's sleep. That idea went out the window the moment he heard the buzzing from Gin’s room. 

“Well, I’m sorry.” Atsushi looks confused but sympathetic, and the face feels like a shot to the heart. 

Why is he so cute?

Akutagawa is revolted at the thought and shakes it off. 

He needs to do this, he needs to do this, he needs to do this, he needs to do this, he nee—

“Why here though?” Atsushi wonders.

“I love their witch potion.” Akutagawa says. 

Akutagawa is torn between wanting to crush Atsushi’s naive worldview and protecting it with his life. But maybe he isn’t so naive, if he can fight the way he did. 

Akutagawa realizes there’s a lot he doesn’t know about Atsushi. He’s struck with the urge to learn, which repulses him. 

“Have you tried their pumpkin puree shake?” Lucy excitedly asks. 

“No, but I might as well try it now.” Akutagawa says. 

He gets up, orders the drink, and leaves out the backdoor. 

He can’t face Atsushi like this. 

The longer he stays, knowing what he did, the less he’ll be able to handle it. 

So he goes without a goodbye. Atsushi will hate him, more. 

Good. He deserves it.  

When he gets home, he tells Gin he can hear her. 
She’s shocked and ashamed, and immediately apologizes.

That wasn’t so bad, honestly.

And she’ll always be at least one person that doesn’t hate him. 
He seeks solace in that knowledge.

Chapter Text

Lucy is dressing up for her not-date with Atsushi. Apparently the cafe is open 24/7, another reason why it’s Atsushi’s favorite, so she gets to have a coffee at 9:00 pm, with no consequences of course because she works on her own schedule, for the most part.

Fentanyl Freestyle fades into Girlfailure, also by ISSBROKIE, as Lucy applies her contour, round to make her face look more feminine.

She remembers when Atsushi bought her some in secret, since makeup was banned at the orphanage. Their little nights on the town, sneaking out and their supervisors being none the wiser, the only time she was able to wear it. 

The only time she was able to feel like herself. 

When she finally got to wear dresses, to make herself look nice and pretty, not just for Atsushi, with Atsushi. 

Because Atsushi would finally be able to wear the binder he ordered to the post office, finally be able to wear boys clothes, and they would mess around and have fun. 

But then, against all odds, Lucy was adopted by Americans. They wanted an older orphan who was fluent in English, and she was the only one who fit the bill. 

She had been abandoned in Japan by American parents, and she had been adopted by Americans too. 

She didn’t realize how triggering the accent could be, after years of only associating it with her birth parents, but it was. 

She often found herself drifting away to a safer place whenever people spoke. Eyes unfocused, vision blurring until all she saw was whatever daydream she used as escapism.  Usually, Atsushi, of their nights out, of finally kissing him, of cuddling him, of being held gently when she cried.

It took a while before she was able to actually listen regularly, which left her adoptive parents and teachers frustrated. They often yelled at her, which made it worse, but they’d always apologize after. 

An improvement to the orphanage and her birth parents. 

She lied to Atsushi when she said she came here for a job. She did have one, with good upward mobility, a weapons company called The Guild (she got such a job young because she started college at 16. Apparently, she was really smart) but the starting wage wasn’t enough to survive. And the US didn’t exactly have the best social welfare. She felt guilty asking her parents for money, so instead she asked if she could work remotely and moved to Japan where she could actually get benefits. 

And in choosing where to live, she thought of Atsushi. So, she did some digging. Google, US embassy Japan, until she eventually found his records and where he was staying. 

Yokohama. 

She also found his phone number in the process, so she called him. 

Had them hang out. Told him the apartment she rented was just an air bnb. 

If all goes well, she’ll tell him she can move here, and they can be together. 

If not? She can flee the prefecture in her shame and embarrassment. 

She applies her blush, highlights, etc, until she’s finally all dolled up for Atsushi. 

While they're sitting having their coffee and chatting about the merits of athletic tape, a boy catches Atsushi's eye, and he looks at him like he hung up all the stars in the sky. She’s green with envy and she hates it. 

Meanwhile, when the boy notices them, he looks like a deer in headlights, turning to leave, but Atsushi stops him. 

God, she really, really hopes that look was platonic, or she’s going to crash out with how jealous she feels.

So of course, she found herself clutching Atsushi’s arm when the boy asked about their relation. 

“A very good friend.” 

She cringes internally at herself. Why am I acting like this? She thinks. 

It’s not like she and Atsushi are dating (hopefully, yet), so there’s no need to act all possessive. 

But she still finds herself acting like he’s hers, and she hates herself for it. So it shouldn’t be a surprise to her when the next few words fall out of her mouth: 

“Now, who are you?”

“Akutagawa.”

“I’ve heard lots about you! You’re the asshole, right?” 

This time she actually, visibly winces at herself, but luckily or unluckily, no one seems to pick up on it. 

Atsushi defends him, and Akutagawa seems perturbed by it.

Good. No matter how tactless it was to call him an asshole, it’s still accurate. He’s been rude as hell to Atsushi, being all hot and cold, and Atsushi deserves better. The fact that Lucy wishes she could be that better should be irrelevant. 

Should be.

However, when Akutagawa mentions his favorite drink is witch potion, she can’t help but excitedly recommend their pumpkin puree shake. She wants to keep acting closed off around him, he hurts Atsushi, but she’s caught between that and Atsushi’s wishes to be civil with him, so she’s stuck in this limbo where she doesn’t exactly know how to act.

But, the decision is made for her when, fifteen minutes later, Akutagawa still isn’t back.

That fucking bastard.

He can’t just leave with no notice when Atsushi so kindly invited him to sit! Especially after how awfully he’s treated Atsushi.

Lucy expresses as much to Atsushi, who looks somewhere between weary and furious. 

“I know you said he’s less of an asshole now, but clearly, he isn’t, if he doesn’t even respect you enough to say goodbye, especially after you treated him after a fight HE started!” She rants.

“Lucy, drop it. He doesn’t want to say goodbye? Fine. I will. I will be the bigger person because someone has to be. So I will be civil with him.” Atsushi maturely responds.

“You offered him a seat here! Without asking me, by the way, but that’s beside the point. That’s practically an offer to be friends, despite how rude he’s been to you, which he crudely rejected!” She practically yells, “Sorry for getting angry at you, but really, you should be angry at him.”

“I am angry at him. It’s taking everything in me to not track him down and scream at him until I get some answers. But, I’ll listen to this quiet rejection. He doesn’t actually owe me anything.”

“But you, once again, treated him–”

“Yeah, after punching him. And he took care of me drunk. If anyone owes anybody here, I owe him.”

Lucy realizes she won’t get anywhere with this, so she reluctantly gives up. She’ll save this argument for another day, one where Atsushi is burnt by Akutagawa enough times to actually listen.

This is the problem with Atsushi. It’s like he chooses to like or dislike someone and nothing can change his mind (if you’ll remember, Atsushi initially disliked Akutagawa, but is now in a grey area).

Lucy just scoffs, huffing, “Whatever.” Before taking the initiative to change the subject to her favorite movie, Secret Life of Walter Mitty.

Atsushi laughs at her play-by-play, one where she makes fun of Walter and Sean for their insane choices.

“We’ll have to watch it together sometime.” He remarks.

“Yeah, we will.” Lucy softly smiles.

Maybe Atsushi can’t be hers. Maybe he can.

But regardless, she hopes they always stay friends.

Family, even.

Chapter Text

On Atsushi’s thirteenth shift, everything possible goes wrong. But let’s back up a bit.

An old lady pulls up to the wash, right as they open, and Dazai immediately gets up.

Now, if you know anything about car washes, you know old people are either the worst customers or the nicest, sweetest people you’ll meet. The sweet ones tip big. So, Atsushi’s reaction is reasonable.

“Oh no you don’t!” Atsushi grips at Dazai’s collar, stopping him. “You don’t get to do nothing all day then shoot up the moment there’s a tip involved.”

“Hey, who said anything about a tip?”

“The way you got off your lazy ass was suspicious.”

“He’s right,” Yosano chimes in, “I recognize that lady. Always tips 2,000 yen or higher. Atsushi, you take her.”

Dazai whines. “No fair! I never get anything good.”

“Maybe if you worked for it, you would.” Yosano and Atsushi speak in unison.

So Atsushi waves her in and, as promised, gets a 2,000 yen tip. And that should be it, right?

WRONG.

He starts the wash, pressing the top brush retract because she has a pretty hefty top rack, but the rollers don’t go up. Okay, whatever, no big deal, it usually takes a minute. Atsushi doesn’t start panicking until a solid 7 minutes have passed. And it’s not like he didn’t press it, the light showing he did is on, and the wash is on too, the rollers are moving underneath the pathway, so that’s clearly not the problem. He keeps going back and forth between the wash buttons, hoping, begging to whatever’s out there that he notices something wrong with either of them so he can finally do something about it. 

He remembers that usually, before the rollers come up, the little lever by the trench goes down. So, he presses on that. It does nothing. 

He rushes inside, heart rising into his throat. 

“Yo-san!” His breaths are short and he can barely get the sentence out, voice high-pitched in his stress in a way that makes him wince, “The wash isn’t working!” 

So Yosano comes in, and does the exact same thing as Atsushi. Restarts the wash, checks that the overall wash button and the single wash button are both on and working, and does the thing with the lever…nothing. Absolutely nothing. 

But then, after they nearly lost all hope, it starts again…but none of the wash items work. The side and tire brushes don’t start, the full wrap isn’t on, the soap and water never come out, the blow dryers don’t turn on. 

“Huh, that’s weird.” Yosan says, but Atsushi can barely hear her.

The world is all murky and distant, like he’s watching it through tv static, and the shape and size of everything looks wrong. Distorted.

She gave him 2,000 yen for this? Atsushi is so horrible. He doesn’t deserve that tip, he doesn’t deserve this job, he doesn’t deserve life–

“Atsushi, breathe.” Yosano moves to place her hands on his shoulders but stops when he involuntarily flinches, still having the presence of mind to reject physical contact when his whole body is buzzing and screaming at him.

“Look.” She says, bending down to look at him at eye level. Huh, when did he get on the floor?

“These things happen. It’s not a reflection on you or how you’re doing at the job. Something just malfunctioned, and that’s okay.”

Atsushi distantly registers himself pulling at his hair. How long has he been doing that?

It hurts. He should stop. 

But the pain makes the world look normal again at each burst of it, so he pulls at it faster, harder, trying desperately to become fully conscious so he can pay attention to Yosano.

Yosano grabs his wrists.

“Please stop that.”

So Atsushi complies, choosing to focus on the feeling of her hands on his arms. It honestly doesn’t do much to ground him, so he tries to pull at his hair again, but Yosano’s grip is firm.

“Breathe with me.”

“In one, two, three;” Atsushi inhales at her request, “hold one, two;” 

Atsushi feels lightheaded holding the air in, even though it’s not for that long.

“Out one, two, three.” She carefully finishes, before starting the pattern again.

Atsushi’s breathing finally slows, after a couple minutes of this.

But it quickens right back up again as the customer comes right back around to shout at him.

“What was that?!?!? You can’t even run a wash right? Why did I give that money to you?”

“Ma’am, please calm down. You are not permitted to talk to our employees like that.”

“No, I want to know! I give extra money to you because you always wash my car right, but this one seems to not respect my gift enough to–”

“It was a malfunction.” Yosano drops the honorific.

Atsushi can hardly breathe again and the shapes of everything is getting all wishy-washy again and he’s distantly aware of sharp pricks on his scalp but he can’t stop, won’t stop, and everything seems so far away until Yosano puts a hand on his shoulder.

“She’s gone back to the car now. The cylinder that starts the wash is likely loose, so Dazai is going to fix that. Then, we’re going to run her through the wash again, but Dazai will do it this time. I’m going to go back to the office with you to calm down. Okay?”

Atsushi’s mouth feels glued shut, throat dry and sticky, so he just nods and tries to swallow down the feeling.

In the office, she fills up a cup with water and adds some Kabaya to it.

She shoves it unceremoniously at Atsushi. 

“Here, drink.”

Atsushi takes a sip, and it tastes terrible. He’s never liked sports drinks, and this is no different.

But he forces himself to drink the whole thing, because the cold clears his head. Normally, he has complaints about just how cold the water from the cooler is, but this time, he’s thankful for it. And the salty, lemony flavor of the dissolved tablet also helps. 

“You good?” Yosano asks.

“Honestly, no.” Atsushi replies, “but I’m doing better.” 

Atsushi spoke too soon, because there was a schthunk sound and suddenly Dazai was in the room asking for Yosano’s help to get the top brush unstuck. 

“The top brush retract isn’t working.” He says. 

Atsushi’s breaths are quickening in pace again, so he focuses on the cool feeling of the cup in his hands and takes another sip, which helps minimally. 

He tells himself not to look, but he does, and what he sees makes him feel like throwing up his organs.

The car is caught in the top brush. Not only that, but the top brush and the car are visibly dented.

Oh no. Oh nonononono.

Air gets caught in his throat and he can hardly breathe. Something crawls up his esophagus, and he rushes to the bathroom, vomiting in the toilet.

He’s distantly aware of a voice muttering something to him and a hand rubbing his back, but he can’t pay attention to anything other than the pain of throwing up. Did he eat anything today? That might explain why it hurts so much.

Why does it hurt so much? He asks himself, but he means more than the act of vomiting up nothing. Because his chest feels like it’s collapsing into itself.

Eventually, the world feels less askew, and he’s thrown up all the bile in his stomach.

Yosano is still tracing circles on his back, and he’s really grateful for the grounding sensation.

Eventually, he comes back out to the lady screaming at Dazai for her money back, and immediately hides in a corner that’s a blindspot to the lady, handing the money to Yosano to give back. 

She hands it to the lady and she quiets down a bit. Eventually, she leaves, and Atsushi lets out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. Yosano and Dazai return inside.

“So!” Dazai clasps his hands together, “Me and the maintenance guy,” They called a maintenance guy? “Finally managed to get it unstuck after an hour,” Atsushi was out for a whole hour?!!?!?!?! “But the top brush is now dented. Not too bad, we can run washes with it, but ideally we still need to replace it, so once a new one arrives we’ll close again as we install it.”

“...okay,” Atsushi says, still processing this new information.

“Given the fact that your boyfriend has tried sabotaging us before, do you think this has anything to do with him?” Yosano asks Dazai.

“I don’t think it’s just Fedya, though I think he was part of it. I also suspect Chuuya and Akutagawa.” Dazai spits out the latter’s name.

“Why them?” Yosano questions.

“Chuuya because I recently pissed him off, and I think that was the last straw for him. Akutagawa because he hates Atsushi and is likely the first person Chuuya would go to for this, due to that hatred; and despite my…problems, with Akutagawa, Chuuya is rather close to him and views him almost as a nephew or son of sorts.”

“Makes sense.” Yosano replies.

“Now we wait until Chuuya comes to pick me up to confront him about it.” Dazai affirms.

“Sounds like a plan.” Yosano responds.

They reopen, and run a few washes. Eventually, it’s time for closing, and Chuuya shows up in his red Nissan. 

“So, Dazai, how was the wash today?” He asks with a devilish grin. 

“Perfectly fine, thanks for asking.” Chuuya looks almost offended hearing this.

“Really? Nothing went wrong?” Chuuya questions disappointedly, then spits out, “Shocked you didn’t get Sigma or someone else to pick you up instead.”

“Nothing important.” Dazai ignores the last comment, “Chuuya, I need to talk to you.” 

He takes himself and Chuuya outside to talk, and Atsushi is left wondering what the confrontation will look like.

“Chuuya, did you mess with the wash?” Dazai asks directly.

“No, why would you think I care that much?” Chuuya petulantly answers.

“You’re a shit liar.”

“Fine! So what if I did! This is what you get for basically giving me the silent treatment and leaving me alone while I was drugged! I know I might remind you of–”

”So you know that you’re doing the exact same thing as Fedya, right?” Dazai interrupts, “Sabotaging me when I don’t do what you want?”

Chuuya startles. 

“Fuck, I am.” He realizes, “pleasedon’tbreakupwithmeI’llstop.” 

“Dude, I’m not going to break up with you over this. If I would, then I’d have broken up with Fedya forever ago. Just, don’t do it again.” Dazai adds, “Unless it’s just to tease. You know how I love being teased.” He punctuates this with a suggestive waggle of his eyebrows.

“So we’re okay?”

“Yeah, we’re okay. And, I’m sorry for shutting you out. That was unfair of me. I still…care…for you,” it looks like it physically pains Dazai to admit that, “even if I don’t act like it. I’ll make more of an effort to be around from now on, so don’t worry. Okay?”

“Okay.” Chuuya nods, and it looks like a weight was lifted off his shoulders.

"Why did it take so long for us to have this conversation?" Chuuya grumbles.

"Because we both hate talking about our feelings." Dazai replies, and they both laugh.

They’ll be okay.

Chapter Text

On Atsushi’s fourteenth shift, he actually knows that Akutagawa will drop off Kyouka. And he spends the time waiting for him to arrive wondering what he will do. Will he confront him? Finally get the satisfaction of tearing him apart because he refuses to treat Atsushi with respect despite his efforts? Atsushi did break his nose, so maybe some of it is deserved. Maybe this is just him rightfully getting back at him for that. So Atsushi finds himself leaning on the latter option, pretending nothing happened. It’s not like anyone knows with absolute certainty he did anything, though Dazai actually shared who he thought it was this time, so he’s probably pretty sure. Also, Chuuya all but confirmed he was involved, so it would make sense if Akutagawa was to.

He decides to ask Ranpo what he thinks, despite knowing he’s probably clueless if he somehow thought Akutagawa had a crush on him.

“So, do you think Akutagawa really was the one who sabotaged the wash?”

“Without a doubt, he and Chuuya are behind the cylinder being loose. The top brush was likely Fyodor though. Why do you ask? I know Dazai had the same assessment as me, and shared it with you, so there’s really no point asking.”

“I know, just making sure.” Atsushi didn’t even realize he was dreading that answer until after hearing it.

It’s not like he liked Akutagawa or anything, he was just hoping he didn’t do anything to further the rift between them.

Fuck, maybe he does.

Kunikida comes back from doing the trash, throwing out his black nitrile gloves into the office trash. He then pulls Atsushi out to discuss something with him

“Atsushi, I want a sandwich, but I can’t leave Ranpo’s side for too long, as per Fukuzawa’s instructions. I also need to keep Kenji in my line of sight. Can I give you my card and you can get something for yourself too? Nothing more than 1,000 yen please.” He requests.

“Got it!” Atsushi says.

He was hoping to run into Tetcho or Jouno, but instead he runs into Fyodor and Sigma, the former sending a shiver down his spine with the way he was looking at him.

Fyodor was eyeing him like a predator eyes its prey, hands clasped in front of his face like a supervillain’s, an eerie grin curling the edges of his lips. 

Meanwhile, Sigma looks extremely uncomfortable with the way Fyodor looks him and the thick silence consuming them, so he cuts through it by awkwardly asking:

“So…How are you holding up, Atsushi?” Sigma continues, wincing at himself because of how his voice cracks on you, “I heard about what happened yesterday from Dazai. Sounds stressful.”

“Mm yes, sounds very stressful indeed. I promise you Atsushi, if you worked here, life would be a lot less anxiety-inducing." Fyodor muses, leaning forward, eyes like bottomless pits.

“Well, I like my job at the carwash, despite everything.” Atsushi states with confidence he wishes he felt. 

“But I need more money for my goals. Maybe I’ll pick up shifts here?” He grimaces. The last thing he wants is to work with Fyodor. He seems absolutely unhinged and if this is how he acts when he’s not even working there, will he act like this when he does? Not only that, but he doesn’t want to feel like he’s winning. He has no idea why Dazai dates this creep, and he shudders as he sees Fyodor’s smile stretch into something inhuman.

“Wonderful! I’ll contact Fukuchi today!”

It’s too late for Atsushi to take back his words, so he just nods and begs for this interaction to last less time. He gets Kunikida a sandwich and nothing for himself, not wanting to waste his money, despite being hungry.

Both workers rush to ring Atsushi up, and Sigma wins.

“By the way, Dazai wants you to know Akutagawa might be staying for a bit to ensure Kyouka is alright. Apparently, something happened to her recently, so she’s not doing so well.” Sigma lets Atsushi know, ignoring Fyodor’s glare.

“Wouldn't that make him late to whatever he needs to do? Couldn’t he just take care of her longer if it’s not that important?” Atsushi questions.

“Kyouka is more important to Akutagawa than anything else, but it’s true, he still has a race to get to, and leaving her surrounded by strangers at that race isn’t ideal.”

“Well, I’m glad to see Kyouka again either way. Did you know she draws?” Atsushi asks, and he finds himself gushing about how good she is.

“Wow, she sounds very talented! I hope I get to see her work sometime, if it has you raving like this.” Sigma replies, seeming genuinely interested. Unfortunately, Fyodor also looks interested. Too interested.

Atsushi feels nausea rise into his throat.

“Well, I have to go now. Have a good day, Sigma. Tell Dazai I said hi.” Atsushi says, unsettled by Fyodor’s penetrating gaze.

“Will do.” Sigma responds.

Atsushi leaves, with a chill ever-present in his spine at Fyodor’s freakiness. 

Seriously, something’s wrong with that guy.

He hands the sandwich to Kunikida, who thanks him. 

“Where’s my sandwich?” Ranpo whines.

“Maybe if you asked nicely for one, you would get it.” Kunikida chimes in.

“That’s it, I’m going to go get one myself.” Ranpo moves to leave, but Kunikida grabs him by the hood.

“Oh no you don’t! I know how this goes, you leave then never come back. No sandwich for you.”

“But I neeeed one!” Ranpo practically wails, “I’m starving to death! You don’t want me to die, do you?”

“I would love it if you died, you wouldn’t bother me anymore.” Kunikida claims, pushing his glasses up.

“Oh come on, you would cry like a little baby.” Ranpo changes tactics once he realizes Kunikida isn’t having it. “Do you treat your boyfriend like this? Favoritism!”

“I do, actually.” He admits.

“That’s so fucked up! Isn’t he suicidal?” Atsushi blurts out, before covering his mouth. He doesn’t know if Ranpo and Kenji know that yet, but given the lack of surprise, they must. 

“Well, I wouldn’t tell him to die, but–” Kunkida starts, but Ranpo interrupts him.

“Favoritism! Favoritism! Favoritism!" Ranpo yells.

“He’s my boyfriend, of course I favor him.” Kunikida states.

“I should’ve filmed that for Dazai he’d tease you about it for weeks–” Ranpo says, looking like the cat that ate the canary.

“Please don’t tell him.” Kunikida pleads.

“Too bad, I’m definitely telling him now!”

Despite Kunikida’s protests, Ranpo is already dialing Dazai.

“Dazai, you’ll never believe what your boyfriend just said–”

“Don’t you dare!” Kunikida tries to take the phone, but Ranpo dodges.

“He said he favors you!” Ranpo excitedly declares.

“Can confirm.” Atsushi adds.

“Traitor!” Kunikida shouts.

In the background, Kenji giggles.

“Wow Doppo, I didn’t know you favored me.” Dazai’s voice rings out from the tinny phone speakers.

“I– That’s not the point!” Kunikida is red as a tomato as he says this.

They bicker for a while, and Atsushi relaxes. It’s nice, hearing them banter in the background. He’s stricken by how close all of his coworkers are, and hopes he can be that close with them in the future. 

Eventually, Ranpo has to hang up, because Kunikida forces him to take the tunnel, but not before this exchange:

“You just want me to leave so I hang up on Dazai.” Ranpo says with a shit eating grin.

“Now why would I want that?”

“So we stop teasing you.” Ranpo confesses.

“So you admit you’re teasing me?” Kunikida accuses.

Ranpo shrugs and claims he won’t leave.

“Don’t make me call your father!” Kunikida threatens.

“Okay, okay, I’m going, I’m going.”

It’s another hour before Akutagawa arrives with Kyouka, and Atsushi can tell something happened to her.

Instead of immediately going to the corner to draw, she just stands in the doorway, staring a million miles away.

Akutagawa bends down so he’s face to face with Kyouka, and places his hands on her shoulders, immediately retracting them when she flinches.

“Look, Kyouka, I’m going to have to leave you here soon. I need you to promise me you’ll try to be okay. Atsushi will be here to take care of you. I just want you to make an effort to let him. Got it?” He gently says.

Kyouka nods.

Akutagawa sits on one of the counters, motioning Kyouka to follow.

Atsushi wants to ask him why he messed with the wash, wants to ask him what happened to Kyouka, but the words die in his throat. It’s dry with everything unsaid, so he swallows to clear it. When that doesn’t work, he fills two of the cups with water, handing one to Kyouka.

“Why doesn't Akutagawa get one?” She asks, and there’s a glimmer of something in her eyes that Atsushi desperately wants to preserve.

“Because he’s been mean to me.”

“Brother, stop. Atsushi hasn’t done anything wrong!” She says jokingly, but there’s pain edging her voice. 

“He punched me.” Akutagawa points out.

“And he took care of you after, so it cancels out!” Kyouka states.

It’s clear she’s trying so hard to appear fine right now and it makes Atsushi want to break. No child should have to feel like they need to hide their pain.

“Kyouka, you don’t have to pretend. We won’t judge you if you need anything.” He offers, and Kyouka screws up her face.

It looks like she’s holding something back with all her effort, twisting her face and soul, until eventually, she breaks, hugging Atsushi tightly. 

“M-My au-auntie c-called and she s-said that I’m a ‘orrible, s-selfish, c-cursed child who k-killed my–my parents.” She practically sobs.

Akutagawa looks perturbed that she’s more comfortable with Atsushi, but he immediately shakes it away to comfort her.

“Oh, Kyouka, that’s just not true.” Akutagawa says.

“N-No! But it–it is! She h-hates me and she’s r-right, b-because I k-killed my p-parents.” She cries.

“Kyouka, I don’t know what happened, but what I do know is you’re the kindest, most generous fourteen year old I’ve met and my life has been blessed by your presence. You’re not a curse. You could never be a curse. And you would never hurt anyone.” Atsushi shares.

Kyouka’s already shuddering breaths come out harder.

“Y-you d-don’t know that!” She howls.

“I do.”

She hugs tighter.

“You don’t.” She says, but her breaths are already coming in longer, more full. She’s calming down.

“Hey, you want some water?” Atsushi just now remembers he’s still holding some.

She nods into his chest, and so Atsushi gives her the water, and they both sip on it.

Kenji comes up and offers his hand, and Kyouka takes it.

Eventually, her breaths are normal, and her shoulders stop shaking so much.

“Thank you.” She whispers.

“No problem.” Atsushi says, smiling encouragingly.

“Are you good here on your own?” He asks carefully.

“Yes.” Kyouka says, and she looks almost like she means it.

Akutagawa turns to leave, but Atsushi grabs his hand.

“I need to talk to you.” 

Akutagawa’s face is not dissimilar to the face you make when you’re about to take a test you didn’t study for.

“I really, really need to go, the drive to the race is fourty-five minutes and the race is in an hour.”

“So you have 15 whole minutes?” Atsushi asks pettily.

“I need to get there early.” Akutagawa insists.

“So, you have 10 minutes.” Atsushi is not backing down.

“Fine.” Akutagawa relents.

Atsushi doesn’t feel good about leaving Kyouka in the room without them, but her foster parent is there, and so is Kenji, so it’s not like she’s alone.

“What did you want to talk about?” Akutagawa looks like Atsushi is about to tell him his dog died.

“Why did you fuck up the wash?” Atsushi asks.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Chuuya admitted to it.” Atsushi says, and it’s not entirely a lie. Chuuya did make it obvious he was involved, but he didn’t incriminate Akutagawa in the process.

“Fine, so what if I did. What does it matter to you?”

Atsushi scoffs, “What does it matter? I thought we were good, maybe not friends, especially not after you ghosted me at the cafe, but I thought we were at least at an impasse.”

“Maybe we were.”

“So you ruined that?”

“Look, I regret what I did. But I can’t promise not to do it again. I need Dazai to acknowledge me and this is the only way.”

“All you’re doing is pushing him away further. Wouldn’t it make more sense to be on the good side of his new pupil? Instead of sabotaging both me and him?”

Akutagawa seems genuinely surprised.

“I’ve never thought about it like that.”

“Yeah, not shocking. You don’t seem like the sharpest tool in the shed.”

Akutagawa grunts at that.

“Maybe I’m doing this because you’re just an asshole.”

“You’re more of an asshole.”

“Can’t argue with that.”

“So you admit it!”

“I don’t admit anything.”

They playfully argue like this for a while, before exchanging numbers under the guise of keeping track of who’s taking care of Kyouka. Akutagawa leaves after checking in with Kyouka one last time, and Atsushi feels good about the future.

Maybe he and Akutagawa can be friends after all.

Chapter Text

On Atsushi’s fifteenth shift, he arrives to a vandalized sign and murmuring amongst his coworkers.

Instead of saying “Automobile Cleaning Agency” cleaning has been crossed out and replaced by “Destroying”. Anywhere it had the acronym a D was drawn over the C.

Atsushi thought he and Akutagawa were good. He really, really did. He thought they were friends now.

So he texts him. 

Atsushi:

What the hell?!?!? I thought we agreed not to do stuff like this anymore. Why did you vandalize the wash?

Asshole:

I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Atsushi:

Cut the bullshit I know you do.

Asshole:

I don’t! Someone else must’ve done it.

Atsushi:

I don’t believe you.

Asshole:

Well too bad, because it’s true!

Atsushi:

Whatever, I’m dealing with this later. You will admit to it eventually.

Asshole:

I already told you, it wasn’t–

Atsushi stops reading the texts. Akutagawa’s denial is just pissing him off. He instead focuses on figuring out what to do with Kunikida and Dazai, the other two on the shift with him.

“–maybe if we–”

“Yes, that’s a good–”

Atsushi only catched bits and pieces as he gets closer, the two barely noticing him as their heads are bent together in concentration.

“What’s the plan for fixing this?” Atsushi asks.

“We happen to have WD-40, though there’s a possibility it takes off the paint below it too. So, we’ll start with nail polish remover, that Dazai for some reason keeps on his person–” Kunikida is cut off,

“It’s in case I want to do my nails then fix them up! I’m actually good enough to not need to fix them most of the time, but just in ca–” It’s Dazai’s turn to be interrupted.

“Right. So, we’re going to try that. Dazai?”

“Oh I actually forgot to bring it today.”

“You–” Kunikida shouts, turning bright red. He continues, “Urgh! Okay, since there’s no nail polish remover, we’re going straight to the WD-40.” 

“Just kidding! It’s in my bag, I just wanted to keep it to myself. I have a feeling I’m going to be very bored later today.”

“People keep messing with the wash to spite you, how can you be bored?!?!” Atsushi asks incredulously.

“I’m used to people hating me, since I bother them for entertainment.”

“At least you’re self aware of the reason why.” Kunikida adds gruffly.

Dazai gasps dramatically, “Yes, and it’s so terrible. I have never done anything wrong ever and everyone I make fun of deserves it.” 

“I spoke too soon.”

“Don’t be so harsh to your boyfriend Kuni, I thought you were supposed to favor me!” Dazai teases, “I might kill myself with how mean you’re being!”

Kunikida is redder than a firetruck, and after a few seconds of sputtering, he chooses to ignore the former comment.

“If you killed yourself I would reincarnate you as Chuuya’s pet dog so you drown in self-hatred for the rest of your life and be forced to reflect on your actions.”

“Anything but that! Chuuya’s my dog, not the other way around!” Dazai wrinkles his nose. “Plus, Chuuya doesn’t even have a dog, and dogs are stinky.”

“Not as stinky as you were when I first met you.”

“I didn’t have consistent access to a shower, it’s not my fault!” Dazai whines.

“Shut up and give me the remover.” Kunikida holds his hand out.

“Aww Doppo, you’re no fun.” Dazai digs through his bag and relinquishes the nail polish remover.

They try to remove the black spray paint with nail polish remover, and it actually manages to get some of the paint off. But nowhere near all of it.

“Looks like the rest is a job for WD-40. If I had known we had some I would’ve drank it long ago.” Dazai muses.

“You did know. And you did drink it.” Kunikida corrects.

“Details, schmetails.”

“Oh my God Dazai are you okay?” Atsushi questions, concerned.

“Yes, I’m fine, shut up about it already.” Dazai waves him off.

Atsushi waits for a minute, debating whether the following question is worth asking.

“...Sorry if it’s inappropriate to ask this, but what does it taste like?”

“Now that is a good question, thank you for asking me that!” Dazai cheers and Kunikida sighs like the weight of the world is on his shoulders. (at the very least, the weight of the hefty chaos that is Dazai is definitely there and heavy.) “It burns like a bitch, but tastes like vaseline, vanilla, and oddly enough, fish. 10/10, would drink again.”

“Please don’t.” Kunikida utters, strained. 

He pushes his glasses up his nose before heading to the back, where they have the WD-40.

It’s only a small can, as they don’t use it for anything in the wash (yet), but they have it.

Kunikida returns with the WD-40 and proclaims, “I knew it would be a good idea to buy this. I spent my own money on it knowing we would use it, and here we are, using it.”

They begin to scrub at the remnants of the spraypaint, only to realize they were slowly but surely removing the paint underneath too.

“Let’s just paint over it, at this point.” Atsushi gives up.

“Sounds like a plan.” Dazai continues, “Kuni-kun, care to buy us some?”

“Absolutely not. It’s your turn to spend something for the wash.”

“But Kuunnniiii~, I won’t be as good as you at stuff like paint matching.”

“It’s true, you’d likely mess it up on purpose. That’s why I’ll go with you.”

“At that point just buy it yourself.” Atsushi mutters.

“Fine. Sigma goes with you.” Kunikida amends.

“That’s basically the same–”Atsushi starts, but then Dazai chimes in:

“Deal! He’s taking me on a date tonight anyway, so it can be like a romantic interior decorating trip that monogamous couples do when they move in together.”

“Yeah, one where you’ll try to start arguments the whole time and pair black with navy or something like that.” Kunikida sighs, exhausted.

“Excuse you, that is a great color combination.”

“My point exactly.”

“Has anyone told you that you two are horrible?” Atsushi asks.

“All the time.”

“Never.” The two respond in unison.

They continue their bickering for the rest of the shift, and eventually, Akutagawa comes in to drop Kyouka off.

And Atsushi is pissed.

Chapter Text

Atsushi takes Akutagawa by the hand and pulls him into the back room. 

“What the hell was that?”

“I still have no idea what you’re talking about. Is it the paint that got washed off the signs?”

“So you do know what this is about!”

“I really don’t.”

“The C’s were replaced with D’s and ’cleaning’ was replaced with ‘destroyer’. I know you, Gin, and Tachihara are the only ones who call the ACA that.”

“Look, I promise you, it wasn’t me.”

The sincerity in Akutagawa’s eyes and voice almost convinces him he’s innocent. 

“So you’re saying Tachihara or Gin did this?”

“I wouldn’t say that, it could be anyone really. Doesn’t Dazai’s boyfriend have it out for you too?”

“How do you know about that?”

“He complained about you to me when I went to get a sandwich. And honestly, with the way you’re acting right now, I can see why he complains about you.”

“Okay first of all, fuck you. Second of all, it’s only your little trio that calls the ACA the ADA.”

“Like I said, I don’t know anything.”

Atsushi is certain Akutagawa is lying now, or he would’ve claimed it was one of his friends by now. Or would he?

Could it be he’s protecting his friends?

That’s…almost admirable. 

“Look, I get it if you don’t want to snitch on them, but just tell me the truth. Did you know anything about this?” Atsushi finds himself saying.

“Like I told you 10 billion times, no, I don’t.

Atsushi has a choice now. Stay suspicious and ruin their budding friendship, or choose to trust Akutagawa, no matter how hard he makes it. 

Atsushi finds himself wanting to choose the latter.

“Fine. I’ve decided to trust you. Don’t make me regret it.”

“Oh, I’m oh so thankful. Truly, your enormous amount of trust in me is a sight to behold and I’m so grateful for it.” Akutagawa replies dryly. 

“Already regretting it.”

“Oh no, I’m quaking in my boots. What will you ever do to me?”

“I can break your nose again. It’s not even fully recovered yet, so I could make it permanently bent.”

Oddly enough, something about leaving a permanent mark on Akutagawa lights his belly on fire and fills him with guilt at the same time.

“Yep, quaking in my boots, since you’re such a hard-ass. Not like you immediately apologized and took care of me or anything.” Akutagawa adds sarcastically.

“Don’t ever mention that again, because it’s clear that was a mistake.” Atsushi rebukes.

“You say that, but you clearly don’t regret it.”

Atsushi hates how Akutagawa can see right through him.

“Oh, fuck you. Just be sure to call off your little friends and tell them to stop fucking with us.”

Akutagawa doesn’t argue. 

“No promises, because there’s no proof it was them.”

Atsushi shoots him a look. 

“Okay, okay, fine, I will. Sheesh.”

Atsushi finds himself smiling at this. 

“So, how long can you stay? I know you probably have stuff to do, since you had to drop Kyouka off, but I’d like to watch a movie with you again.”

“Wow, I had no idea you enjoyed clinging to me so much!” Akutagawa proclaims. 

“Asshole.” Atsushi whispers under his breath. 

Akutagawa raises an eyebrow, clearly amused at hearing his response.

“But to answer your question, I got here an hour and a half early so I could talk to you, so we have plenty of time for a movie, if Kunikida has his laptop with him.”

Wow. He got here half an hour early just to talk to him? Atsushi finds himself feeling…almost flattered. 

Does Akutagawa actually care about staying friends? He ponders. 

“Sounds like a plan. But we’re not watching a horror movie again.” Atsushi stresses.

“I bet you like shitty romcoms or something.” Akutagawa snickers.

“Excuse you, every romcom is a masterpiece.” Atsushi says, ironically of course. 

“Except hallmark movies. Those are all stupid.” Akutagawa considers his statement, then adds, “Actually, I take that back. All romcoms are trash.”

“You must watch them too if you’re so certain of this.” Atsushi teases. 

Akutagawa falls silent. 

“No way! You actually—“

“Shut. Up.” Akutagawa turns bright red.

“Oh my god do you secretly like romcoms?”

“Absolutely not.” Akutagawa curls into himself.

Atsushi opens the door to the office, bellowing, “Hey everybody! Akutagawa likes romcoms!”

“Akutagawa, I didn’t know you were so lame.” Kyouka remarks.

“I do not like them, Atsushi is—“

“Hey, romcoms are fantastic, I love them! And I’m not lame!” Atsushi says, walking fully into the office. 

Kyouka laughs, and it’s a beautiful sound. 

“I’m sorry Atsushi, but you are completely and wholly lame for that.” She chuckles. 

Atsushi gasps dramatically. 

“First Akutagawa bullies me, then you! I feel betrayed. I expect that from him, but not you!” He declares, theatrically throwing a hand over his heart. 

“We’re not bullying you, we’re just stating facts.” Akutagawa smirks. 

“Yeah Atsushi, it’s not their fault you’re lame.” Dazai butts in. 

“Not you too!” Atsushi jokingly says, then addresses the person who has stayed silent until now. “Kunikida?”

Kunikida just shakes his head. 

“Traitor!” Atsushi yells. 

“Looks like Dazai is rubbing off on you with all your ostentatious behavior.” Kunikida states. “Soon I’ll be stuck with two Dazais.” He groans.

“Ew.” Atsushi playfully responds. 

“Excuse you, I am a delight.”

It’s then that Atsushi realizes Dazai has yet to make a single comment at Akutagawa’s expense. And Akutagawa must’ve realized this too, because he looks over the moon. 

But it doesn’t last long. 

“Now, why don’t you leave, Akutagawa. There’s no need for you to stay.” Dazai hisses through his teeth, smile all mouth, bared, and nothing in his eyes. 

But the look is gone as soon as it came. “Afterall, no one wants two people with poor movie tastes!”

”I’m just making sure Kyouka settles in fine, since I have some time before my class, but I’ll leave if that’s what you want.” Akutagawa utters dejectedly. 

He turns to leave, but Atsushi grabs his hand again. 

“Don’t listen to him. You can stay if you want.”

“I better go. Maybe we can watch a movie some other time.” Akutagawa tugs his hand away, but Atsushi retains his hold, relishing the warmth. 

“Really, Atsushi, it’s fine. I’ll leave.” 

Atsushi loosens his hold, and finds himself missing the feeling of Akutagawa’s hand in his.

“I’ll keep you to that.” He says seriously. 

And just like that, Akutagawa is out the door. 

As soon as it closes, Kunikida pushes his glasses up his nose. 

“I’ll be telling Chuuya about this.” He warns. 

“There’s no way he told you about the deal.” Dazai rolls his eyes, then continues, “But he totally did. Please don’t tell him, it’s just, Akutagawa really grates on my nerves.”

“What did he even do to you?” Atushi spits, then tries to lessen the agression in his voice, “He doesn’t deserve this.”

“He asked me to come back when I made it clear I didn’t want to.”

Somehow,  Atsushi felt that wasn’t all there was to it, but he bites his tongue.

He’ll tell him if he wants to.

Kunikida clears his throat. 

“Right. I have a phonecall to make.”

“Seriously, don’t tell him. I mean it. I’ll do better in the future, I just needed him gone.”

“Osamu, I made a promise. I intend to keep it.”

Dazai scrunches his face up, looking pained. But the look is gone as soon as it came. 

“Fine. Tell him. I don’t care anymore.” He mumbles petulantly. 

Kunikida just shakes his head at that, and calls Chuuya anyway. 

Atsushi, meanwhile, looks at his coworker in disgust. How could someone older than him be so childish? 

Having beef with someone who was a child for some of his time in Dazai’s care, and he treats him worse than dirt. 

Eventually, the shift ends, and Atsushi immediately texts Akutagawa once he gets home. 

Atsushi:

Do you want to go to a movie this weekend?

Asshole: 

Sure, as long as it isn’t a romcom.

Atsushi:

But romcoms are so great! Come on, please?

Atsushi adds a begging face emoji for good measure. 

Asshole:

Pathetic. 

Fine. 

Atsushi:

Should we bring Kyouka?

Asshole:

Absolutely not.

If she finds out I’m watching a romcom I’ll never hear the end of it. 

Atsushi:

All the more reason to bring her!

Asshole: 

You do realize she’ll tease you too, right? 

Atsushi:

A small price to pay to watch you get made fun of.

Asshole: 

Fuck you. 

But no, let's make it just us.

For some reason, that declaration sends a shiver down Atsushi's spine, and a fuzzy sensation in his chest. For some reason, he’s…excited? That it will be just the two of them. 

Deciding to unpack that later, he goes to bed. But his anticipation of the weekend keeps him up late. 

He tries his hardest not to dig deeper as to why, as he finally falls asleep.

Chapter Text

They agree to meet at the cafe where Akutagawa ran into Lucy and Atsushi. Akutagawa is still perturbed by how Lucy clung to Atsushi, and how relieved he is to know Atsushi isn’t dating her.

After setting aside his bitterness toward Atsushi, he is forced to acknowledge how he feels about Atsushi outside of that. And he’s not too happy with what he finds. 

So even though he promised not to, he finds himself listing all of Atsushi’s negative traits, obliged to focus intently on them in order to ignore the lightness in his step thinking about Atsushi. His purple yellow eyes that look like twilight, his pretty, pearlescent white hair…

He’s just attractive. That’s all this is.

He texts him once he arrives.

Akutagawa:

I’ll be wearing all black. 

Jinko:

First of all: ofc you are you’re emo lol. Second: why are you describing yourself like we’re online friends meeting up for the first time? And why not include your white tips? That's like your most recognizable feature.

Akutagwa scoffs, face heating as he realizes the description was unnecessary.

Still, he digs his heels in,

Akutagawa:

First of all, fuck you.

Second of all, what if you have to find me from a distance and from behind.

He hopes the repetition comes off as mocking as he means it.

Jinko:

Then I’ll still see your fuck-ass cut with the white tips dangling by your ears from behind.

Akutagawa:

Bold of you to insult my hair when yours looks like a botched attempt at being a scene queen.

Jinko:

Hey, it’s a cherished style from when a child at the orphanage cut it!

Atsushi immediately regrets the comment. He knows Akutagawa was in the foster care system, so he understands what it’s like to have no parents, but it’s still nerve-wracking to share this so early. And his experiences there weren’t exactly what Akutagawa must’ve experienced with Kouyou.

Meanwhile, Akutagawa is almost grateful that he shares something in common with Atsushi, and he feels they’re more even now when it comes to knowing the other. He knows orphanages tend to be horrible, so he’s worried Atsushi spent nearly 18 years in a horrible situation. Not like Akutagawa’s life has been much better, his birth parents sucked and most of his foster parents did too. He shudders at himself for the concern. He doesn’t care, he tells himself.

He picks up his phone again, only to hear a “Hey!” to his left.

He looks up to see Atsushi, wearing a cream coloured dress-shirt with black suspenders and slacks.

Huh. He cleans up nicely.

Akutagawa is suddenly self conscious about his usual black cloak and white ruffled shirt underneath.

But his fears are dispelled once Atsushi shyly utters, “You look good.”

He’s blushing like mad and Akutagawa has to pretend neither of them were for the sake of his sanity.

“You look pretty too…” He mumbles under his breath.

“What’s that?” Atsushi’s embarrassed look is replaced with a shit eating grin.

“I said you look shitty too!” Akutagawa shouts.

“That’s not what I heard!” Atsushi teases.

“You complimented me first!” Akutagawa protests.

Atsushi hums, “Hm. I don’t recall, why don’t you refresh my memory.”

“You said, ‘you look good’!” 

“Thank you.” Atsushi’s mouth is stretched so wide you’d think he was the Cheshire cat from Disney's Alice in Wonderland. 

“That’s not–”Akutagawa sputters, “Fuck you.”

Akutagawa is suddenly struck with how weird it is to be the one made fun of in their relationship, and how okay he is with their roles being reversed.

There’s a pang in his heart he desperately tries to ignore.

“Well, are we walking to the theater or not?” Atsushi questions. 

“You sure you don’t want a drink?” Akutagawa replies. 

“Nah, already got a pastry and that’s enough for me. So, are we leaving or not?”

In response, Akutagawa gets up, bringing his drink with him and begins the walk to the theater, approximately 10 minutes, he’s calculated it before. He thought it was odd that Atsushi waited before going up to him. Maybe he needed to prepare himself as much as Akutagawa did. 

He sips his drink and shamelessly eyes Atsushi. If he’s just attracted to him he’s fine with making full use of his time with him, but after god knows how long he sees Atsushi’s uneasy blush, and stops. Maybe he should dial it back a bit.

“So…Why let me watch a romcom?” Atsushi asks awkwardly.

“...to get you to shut up. I knew you would just keep begging.” Akutagawa almost believes himself.

Almost.

“Riiiigghht. You totally don’t like them yourself.” Atsushi is now grinning again, but the curling at the edges of his lips make them so wide it looks almost unnatural.

Fuck. He did make him uncomfortable. His throat is dry with guilt.

He lets it pass, knowing mentioning it will likely make it worse.

“...They help me fall asleep.” He hesitantly admits, and instantly wincing at the confession.

“Really? That’s kind of cute, to be honest.” Atsushi says, to which Akutagawa turns a violent red.

“I am not cute.” Akutagawa huffs, and Atsushi chuckles.

It’s surprisingly low and throaty, and Akutagawa can feel his cheeks heat involuntarily at hearing it.

“You are so cute. You pout like a toddler denied access to candy and dress like a middle schooler’s edgy phase. You’re the cutest.” Atsushi professes, to which he suddenly looks bashful at the claim. 

“I dress my age, thank you very much, and I do not pout.” Akutagawa refuses to concede.

“Yeah right. Whatever helps you sleep at night.” Atsushi then ponders for a minute before continuing, “You better not fall asleep on my shoulder, I will push you onto the floor.”

(he doesn’t make good on that claim.) Akutagawa giggles. Actually, fully giggles, and he cringes at himself.

“Hold up, are you…laughing?” Atsushi queries, surprised. 

“No.” Akutagawa denies defensively in between chortles.

“You are, you totally are!” Atsushi proclaims, self satisfied.

They bicker for the rest of the walk there, and once they get there, they consider buying popcorn. Only to learn the prices have increased exponentially. 

Neither of them could afford it, so they head dejectedly to the theatre.

“I can’t believe they cost 800 yen now! That’s a scam at that point.” Atsushi complains.

“Hey, if you got mouths to fee–” Akutagawa starts.

“No! You and I both know none of that money is going to the workers. They just upped the prices because of their own capitalistic greed.” Atsushi declares.

“Honestly, you’re right.”Akutagawa voices, passing the threshold into the viewing room.

Atsushi looks absolutely baffled.

“You? Admitting I’m right? I thought I’d never see the day.” Atsushi teases.

“You still haven’t.” Akutagawa states.

“I just did!” Atsushi indignantly replies, climbing through their row.

“Nah, I never said it was just for the bonus.” Akutagawa says, finally sitting down.

“You totally did!” Atsushi protests, also seating himself.

The ads are still playing, so they can continue arguing.

“When?”

“It was implied!”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Urgh!” Atsushi starts, “You–”

But the opening credits start blasting through the speakers, so even if it was polite to keep talking, they wouldn’t be able to listen to each other.

The movie is as boring as Akutagawa expects it to be, but Atsushi’s face isn’t.

He watches the whole thing animatedly, occasionally tapping on Akutagawa’s arm to tell him something Akutagawa can’t hear.

But he can tell from Atsushi’s face that it’s mostly excitement, with a few snarky comments here and there.

Eventually, Atsushi notices he isn’t watching the movie, and scolds him, pointing at the screen to indicate Akutagawa needs to be watching.

So he does, and it doesn’t even take 10 minutes before his eyelids start drooping.

He fights it for as long as possible, but eventually, sleep takes him.

And instead of his usual nightmares, he dreams.

He dreams of all the times Atsushi holds his hand, and longs for it to be in a different context. He dreams of how close their faces have gotten, and how much he wants to close that distance.

He realizes that, since it’s a dream, he absolutely can, so he does, hand clasping around Atsushi’s.

He wakes with a start, Atsushi shaking his shoulder.

“Hey! The movie’s over, we need to leave!”

Akutagawa looks and sure enough, the credits are playing. It’s at the part where the logos show at the end, and he wonders why Atsushi let him sleep for so long. He notices a trail of spit from his mouth to Atsushi’s shoulder and immediately dreads Atsushi’s teasing.

And then, his dreams come back to him, and he has something worse to dread.

He didn’t dream of having sex with Atsushi. He didn’t even dream of making out with him. No, he dreamed of softly kissing him. Of holding his hand.

Fuck. He might like Atsushi.

What the hell is he going to do?

He can’t like Atsushi. He’s his rival. They’re only friends as a truce, so Akutagawa can win Dazai’s favor.

He can’t like Atsushi.

He can’t.

He gruffly wipes at his face and when Atsushi takes his hand to lead him out, he jerks away.

“I’m fine.” He says, and once he sees Atsushi’s hurt face he almost regrets it.

But he needs this distance. He needs to lose these feelings.

Atsushi doesn’t tease him at all during their shared walk home.

Even when they’re about to part ways.

Akutagawa feels another pang in his heart. He can’t handle Atsushi’s silence, the wedge he’s shoved between them. 

But it has to be done.

Jinko:

Today was fun! Let’s do this again sometime.

Atsushi immediately throws his phone across the room after sending that text. He thinks Akutagawa’s put distance between them again, but he doesn’t know why, and it kills him.

Akutagawa picks up his phone immediately after it pings, excited to see Atsushi’s text and immediately hating himself for it.

He leaves him on read.

But he won’t be able to handle staying away for long.

Chapter Text

On Atsushi’s sixteenth shift, things are going…suspiciously well.

Kunikida is here, and since that usually means the other two K’s are here, Atsushi is surprised to learn that they aren’t.

“Will they be coming later on in the shift?” Atsushi finds himself asking.

“No, Kouyou has taken time off work to spend time with Kyouka, and offered to take care of Kenji too. They may come in later though, if the hospital has an urgent emergency.”

“Got it.”

“I hope nothing happens. I hate kids.” Dazai states.

“Well, too bad. It’s likely something will happen, but they’re my kids, and while I don’t expect you to be around them all the time, you agreed to date me knowing you would be forced to spend some time with them.” Kunikida says.

“Yeah, and you only hate kids because you are one.” Atsushi retorts.

“What on earth is that supposed to mean!!?!?!” Dazai gasps, offended.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn't've said any–” Atsushi starts, but is cut off by Dazai.

“No, you said it, now you have to tell me what you meant!” Dazai insists.

“Well, you’re just less mature than them, so I’d feel like you’d get jealous.” Atsushi admits.

“I NEVE–” Dazai wheezes, only to be interrupted by Kunikida.

“I know it’s mostly an act, but your immature behavior does get annoying sometimes.” Kunikida replies.

“What do you mean? I’m not acting at all.” Dazai looks up into the corner and places a finger on his lips, playing gullible.

“Osamu.”

“Fiinnnee. And I guess I don’t hate kids that much, yours are…tolerable.”

“Thank you.” Kunikida responds.

Dazai suddenly sits up, saying, “Welp, I’m going to get a sandwich.”

Kunikida exhales sharply. “Just make sure you come back in a timely manner.”

“Thank you, you won’t regret this!” Dazai uncharacteristically pulls Kunikida into a hug and kisses his cheek.

“Wait, what are you planning? Come back here!” Kunikida yells, but Dazai is already out the door.

Atsushi and Kunikida both sigh, knowing that Dazai will likely not come back in a reasonable amount of time.

Especially since he took his backpack.

Atsushi finds himself wondering if he packed his strap again, and it immediately grossed out at the thought. He really, really, doesn’t want to know.

And sure enough, it’s been 30 minutes and Dazai still hasn’t come back.

“Atsushi, go get Dazai.”

“Alright.” Atsushi heads to Angel’s.

And there, he is greeted by the sight of Fyodor limp in Nikolai’s and Dazai’s arms.

“Hi Atsushi!” Dazai cheerfully acknowledges him.

“...um, hi?” Atsushi responds. 

He almost thinks Fyodor is dead, but he lifts his head at the sound of his voice.

“I hear you still haven’t gotten back to Fukuchi yet.” He grins, but it feels more like a glare. “Do try to remedy that soon, I’d almost think you don’t want to work here.”  

Fyodor bares his teeth into an icy smile.

“I will…eventually.” Never. “I’m just here for Dazai back, so uh…finish up whatever you’re doing and come with me.”

“Pop quiz! What were we doing just now!” Nikolai interjects.

“Hopefully not an orgy.” Atsushi prays.

“If that was your guess, then you were close! But not quite. Think! Why was Fyodor on the ground?”

“I really don’t think I want to know.” Atsushi responds.

“C’mon, guess!” Nikolai urges, and from his spot on the floor, his boyfriend glowers menacingly.

Somehow, it’s even more scary than his smile.

“Um, he fainted?”

“Wow! You almost got it in one, congratulations! Now could you tell me why?”

Because he’s a demonic bastard and hell was trying to drag his soul back where it belongs. 

“He’s…anemic?”

“Ding ding ding!! You got it!” Nikolai sounds genuinely proud of him, which for some reason, doesn’t really match his face. 

Fyodor has stopped glaring in favor of looking at Nikolai in a way that can only be described as supremely gay.

Dazai takes this as his cue to get up from his spot on the floor.

“Fyo, wait here. I’ll get you some saltines and water. How does that sound?”

“Don’t baby me, I’m fine.” Fyodor sits up, putting a hand back to stabilize himself, but once he pushes off the ground, he quickly falls back, head tilting like it was sent spinning.

Atsushi nearly feels bad for him. Nearly.

“I figured that would happen. I’ll be right back.” Dazai goes further into the store to retrieve the necessary items.

Nikolai kisses Fyodor’s forehead and murmurs something in his ear, to which Fyodor laughs. They converse amongst each other quietly for a minute, and Atsushi, upon seeing a genuine smile from Fyodor, thinks he might get why Dazai is still dating him. He seems almost…nice, like this.

Dazai coming back breaks the spell between Nikolai and Fyodor, and Dazai haphazardly tosses the crackers and drink into Fyodor's lap, to which Nikolai gasps dramatically.

“Rude! How would you like it if I threw something at you!”

“A lot. Please do it hard enough to take me out of this mortal plane.” Dazai responds dryly.

Nikolai squawks, but before he could say anything, Fyodor cuts in.

“Thank you, Osamu.” Fyodor says, and he looks genuinely grateful.

“No problem! Just doing my job as your boyfriend.” Dazai replies.

Fyodor’s kind look abruptly disappears as he turns to look at Atsushi, and if him glaring early was scary, this new smile was even scarier.

“Now, Atsushi, about calling Fukuchi–”

Dazai takes Atsushi’s arm, pulling him out of the store. 

“Byyyee Fedya, see you soon, but we have to go!”

As the door closes Atsushi can’t take his eyes off of Fyodor, in fear that he would somehow teleport closer if he did how horror movie monsters do. He watches as Fyodor’s face drops, as if he’s disappointed he doesn’t get to unnerve Atsushi more, and harden once he glances back at Dazai.

Atsushi has a feeling they might argue about this.

The next few hours are rather uneventful, until Kunikida gets a call.

They’re not even surprised that it’s Kouyou, something is always going horribly wrong at hospitals.

Never say it’s a quiet day, and all that.

Kunikida nods at the phone before responding, saying “Oh, that’s terrible.”

Kouyou says something on the other end.

“Yes, I’ll take good care of her.”

“No worries, I know you have your new position to worry about. I’m sure she’ll be happy to see Akutagawa and Atsushi.” 

Dazai’s face immediately sours at the mention of Akutagawa.

“Now is fine, just call me when you get here, and please use Angel’s parking.”

And Kunikida hangs up.

Chapter Text

“So, Kyouka and Kenji are coming here. Be ready.”

And they do, Akutagawa brings them exactly 30 minutes later, and Dazai glowers at him the moment he walks into the door.

Kenji is his normal upbeat self, but Kyouka is more gloomy than usual, if that’s even possible. 

She doesn’t even pull her sketchbook out, she just sits in the corner and sulks. That’s how you know something’s terribly wrong.

“Kyouka, you okay?” Atsushi asks. 

She nods, but Atsushi and Akutagawa don’t buy that, so they both give her a look. 

“You sure?” Atsushi gently questions.

“It’s… frustrating to not spend more time with Kouyou.” 

“Elaborate.”

“It’s just…” Kyouka looks away, pausing for a moment before carrying on, “I’m sick of being the second best, or rather, the second choice. Everybody has at least one thing they prioritize over me and I just wish that for once, somebody would choose me instead of whatever else is going on in their life. I want to be chosen, but it’s more than that, I want to be loved.”

“Kyouka, Kouyou loves you. It’s because she loves you, she–” Akutaagwa starts, but Kyouka cuts him off.

“Bullshit!” The usually silent girl yells. 

She curls in on herself, face pinching like she was swallowing something that had gone sour. 

It’s clear she regrets yelling, but she continues, “If she truly loved me, she wouldn’t have left me, like everyone else does. And look at Kunikida! He manages to have a leadership position, go to college, and take care of kids!” 

“Being a doctor often means being on call at any time, especially if you’re head of neurosurgery like she is.” Kunikida informs her, pushing up his glasses.

“But if she cared, she would’ve still put me first, not her stupid job.” Kyouka says, pouting.

“That’s rough. I know what it’s like to feel unloved, most people in the orphanage either treated me terribly or completely ignored me.” Atsushi nudges Akutagawa for his additional input. 

“I’ve been in foster care too, so I know how much it hurts to be passed from person to person and always hope someone will finally want to keep you. But Kouyou—“

“Promised me she’d adopt me only to abandon me for her job.” Kyouka interjects.

“And, she actually cares, unlike the majority of foster parents.” Akutagawa finishes. 

Atsushi sends Akutagawa a glare, he is not helping.

“She has a funny way of showing it.”

“Trust me, if she could’ve kept you, she would’ve.” 

“If she wanted to keep me, she wouldn’t have taken that job.” 

It’s clear they’re not going anywhere, so Akutagawa grunts. 

“Well, I have to go, so see you later.” 

Kyouka looks even more disappointed than she was before.

But before he can go, his phone pings. 

He checks it and says, “Nevermind, my class got canceled. Dazai, Kyouka, do you mind if I stay here?”

“Be my guest.” Dazai hisses through bared teeth. 

“As long as you stop defending Kouyou.” Kyouka huffs.

“Fine, I’ll stop talking about her. I’m sorry for bothering you.”

“Thank you.” Kyouka responds, “but why stay?”

“Can’t I want to see my sister?”

“I would’ve been your sister, yes.” Kyouka says darkly. 

“Bet you’re here because you want an excuse to talk to Atsushi.” Kenji teases. 

“Absolutely not.”

“Kunikida, did you bring your laptop today?” Atsushi asks, taking pity on Akutagawa by helping him deflect.

“Yes, actually. Any idea on what we should watch?” 

“How about a comedy? That seems to be where most of our interests collide.” Atsushi suggests, hoping to cheer Kyouka up.

“That’s good with me.” Akutagawa agrees. 

“I love comedy! Woo-hoo!” Kenji whoops. 

“I guess it’s fine.” Kyouka grumbles. 

Dazai just nods, still glaring at Akutagawa. 

“Alright, comedy it is!” Kunikida clasps his hands together as he says this. 

They start the movie, but cars start coming in again, so Atsushi has to leave the tunnel. 

And they’re really lining up, clear it won’t stop anytime soon, so Atsushi doesn’t get a chance to look down the tunnel much before he has to wave the next car in.

He does not yet realize the issue down the tunnel until Kunikida calls him in to switch with Dazai, who for once seems glad to work. After doing the trash and checking towels, he gets some time to relax. Until a customer comes in, face an angry red. 

“Why is one side of my car still covered in dirt?” The guy shouts.

No one moved in the tunnel, so there was no reason the car wasn’t clean on one side. They would know because Dazai would’ve turned off the wash. 

“I don’t know, if you would like another wash—“ Kunikida starts, but is interrupted by the yelling customer.

“What, just for you guys to fuck it up again? No thanks!”

“Well, you can file a complaint through customer service, would you like their number?” 

“You bet! This is completely unacceptable.” The customer grunts, but seems satisfied. 

Kunikida pulls out the necessary card, and sends him on his not-so merry way. 

“Let’s run the next car through the wash and watch it the whole way through.” Kunikida suggests. 

So they leave for the tunnel, informing Dazai of the situation, and unsurprisingly, he doesn’t hear them. 

They just sit there and hold a stop sign at Dazai when he starts waving the next car in, and Dazai seems to get the picture.

They watch it go through, and sure enough, something is wrong. 

One of the wraps (the part that cleans the front, sides, and back of the car) isn’t coming out. It’s not too big of a problem, because the soap is still being used and rinsed off. It'll only be an issue if the car’s dirt is really caked on, and even then, that’s usually only the cars that are a lost cause anyway.

And Atsushi is almost certain it was Fyodor. Once inside, Dazai confirms that suspicion. 

“Fedya didn’t mess up anything too bad, but I bet it’s getting a little tiring to you that he does this every shift.” Dazai turns to look at Angel’s. “I’ll have to talk to him if he keeps this up.”

Since the damage was minimal, the wash can still run. 

Atsushi wonders if it was minimal because he agreed to consider working for Angel’s. But, he digresses. The wash stays open.

The rush is over, so Atsushi can sit down and enjoy the rest of the movie. 

It’s too far along for him to understand what’s going on, but watching Kyouka and Akutagawa laugh is worth it. 

Kyouka has a light, full body giggle and Akutagawa has a quiet, airy chuckle.

Atsushi can’t help but blush at the latter’s laugh, and it takes everything in him to not panic over how attractive it is. 

So he chooses to focus on Kyouka’s, happy she’s cheered up by the movie.

Chapter Text

On Atsushi’s seventeenth shift, he finally gets more time with Yosano and Tanizaki. Ever since Tanizaki promised to look after him more after the party, he’s periodically checked in with him. So, Atsushi thinks he might actually want to spend more time with him, as long as he doesn’t call his sister too much.

Unfortunately, as soon as he thinks that, Tanizaki’s phone rings.

“One second, my siste–”

Yosano groans, “Tanizaki, please don’t answer that here. I know Kunikida would have my head for this, but you can go to the tunnel and talk to her there. Capiche?”

“What do you have against Naomi? She’s a perfect angel.” Tanizaki growls.

“Exactly that. She’s your perfect little angel and I swear I have cavities every time I hear you two talk. Either simmer down on the sweet talk or you’re staying outside.”

“Atsushi, you don’t mind me and Naomi, do you?”

Atsushi looks away in lieu of a response.

Tanizaki holds a hand to his heart and gasps, “Traitor!”

“I’m sorry, but Yosano is right, you two lay it on thick.”

Tanizaki considers this, “I guess I deserve this for not looking after you properly at the party.”

“Don’t beat yourself up over it, I was the one who left your side.”

“Yeah, but I could’ve–”

“Ap, no buts. It’s not your fault.” Atsushi says firmly.

“It kind of is. You got brought to a party that from what I hear you didn’t really want to go to, and Tanizaki left you to puke your guts out in the toilet alone. That’s pretty bad.” Yosano says.

Atsushi can’t help but blush and look away again.

“Unless…you weren’t alone?” Yosano’s interest seems piqued.

“...I might’ve ran into Akutagawa.”

“And he took care of you? Before you two made up?” Yosano is grinning like the grinch.

“Do others really gossip about me so much that you know all this?”

“Don’t change the subject!”

Atsushi sighs. “Yes, he took care of me. And I’m very thankful for that.”

“So let me get this straight: Akutagawa, of all people, took care of someone who was basically a stranger to him at that point?” Tanizaki’s voice is full of mirth.

“Why is that so surprising?”

“According to Dazai Akutagawa is a standoffish sonovabitch who doesn’t care about anything or anyone.” Tanizaki rolls his eyes, “Which is rich coming from Dazai. He only cares about his boyfriends, and even then, he’s astoundingly selfish.”

“I really wouldn’t go around calling him selfish, Tanizaki. He may act it, but he definitely cares underneath his mask of indifference.” Yosano says.

“Yeah right.” Tanizaki huffs.

“You’re just upset he made you work off the clock.” Atsushi teases.

“Don’t forget he came onto my sister, and called her stupid!”

“I wasn’t here for that, what’d he–” Atsushi starts, but Yosano cuts in.

“He didn’t do either of those things, he just offered to tutor her!”

“Which is basically the same thing!”

“It absolutely is not!” Yosano argues.

“Atsushi?” They ask in unison.

Atsushi really, really does not appreciate how much he’s being put on the spot today.

“I’m going to have to agree with Yosano.”

“Fuck you! Dazai goes for anything, everything, and anyone! That's why he has four boyfriends!” Tanizaki retorts.

“There’s nothing wrong with that.” Yosano interjects.

“Don’t put words in my mouth! I’m just saying, he totally said that to get in her pants!”

Atsushi considers this for a moment, and realizes that that is actually a distinct possibility, if Dazai and his boyfriends aren’t closed poly. So he asks,

“Wait, are Dazai and his boyfriends exclusive?”

“No, that’s why I’m so concerned, dumbass!” Tanizaki responds.

“He was just asking.” Yosano counters, sending a glare to Tanizaki.

“Right, sorry, I was being rude.” Tanizaki continues, “It’s just, though I doubt she’d go for him, she deserves better than a man who refuses to act his age. And anyone who hits on my sister deserves to die.” He says the last part jokingly, but there’s a dark glint in his eye that betrays his tone.

“Well, that certainly wouldn’t deter him.” Yosano kids.

Both Tanizaki and Atsushi give her a blank stare.

“What? I’ve stuck my finger down his throat and got my whole arm doused in vomit to keep him alive, I don’t get to joke about that trauma?”

“No.” Tanizaki and Atsushi speak in unison, appalled.

“Fine, fine.”

Tanizaki gets another call, and it’s only then that the room realizes he let the first one go through to voicemail.

“Shit! She’s going to be so mad!” Tanizaki curses, rushing to answer the call.

“I’m really sorry, I thought–” Tanizaki begins, but Naomi interrupts him.

“You thought?!?!!? Well I thought you died!!” Naomi’s voice booms from the speakers.

“I know, I’m sorry–”

“Tanizaki.” Yosano warns.

“Right, right, one second Nay-nay I have to leave.”

They watch him leave for the tunnel, holding his phone almost half a foot away from his ear and wincing.

“I almost feel bad for him.” Atsushi admits.

“I don’t. As a kid with three siblings, what’s going on between them is just wrong. Sibling relationships should be built on constantly fighting, acting like you hate each other, only to eventually get food for each other instead of actually apologizing like functioning adults.”

“That doesn’t sound very healthy.”

“Well their codependence isn’t healthy either!” She asserts.

Before Atsushi can inquire about her siblings, however, he’s cut off by a call of his own.

It’s Lucy, face-timing him.

“It’s okay, things are slow. You can answer her.”

“Thank you, Yo-san.” Atsushi sighs, pleased.

He picks up the phone and greets her, “Hey Lucy, what’s up?”

“You know how I talked about my coworkers avoiding me? Well I didn’t tell you one would shoot spit-balls at me like a middle school loser.”

“Hello to you too.” Yosano whispers, and Atsushi has to bite back a snort.

“Anyway, this guy, Mark, has the gall to ask me out after doing all that.”

“Lucy, you have no place to talk, bullying is your love language.”

“Whatever.” She huffs, “So, I reject him, but now he keeps messaging me.” She’s about to speak again, but before she can get a word out, the door opens.

It’s Akutagawa.

“Oh, is Kouyou letting me around the kids again? I would’ve appreciated a warning, but that’s–”

“No, I’m just here because I want to be.” Akutagawa replies. 

The door swings shut behind him.

“Ooooohh you’re here because you want to be, is that it?” Yosano smirks.

“I’m also here to make use of the vacuums and cleaner, Kyouka puked in the backseat yesterday.”

“Ew! You are not using the vacuums for that.”

“Well I’m about to.” Akutagawa is only able to reopen the slightest bit before Atsushi is rushing to close it, accidentally placing his hand on top of Akutagawa’s but too committed to preventing him from ruining the vacuums to care. Or at least, that’s what he tells himself. He’s definitely not enjoying the warmth. Definitely. 

“I’m just kidding, I wiped off most of it already, I just need to use a stronger cleaner. You guys have WD-40?”

“NO!”

“Yes” Atsushi and Yosano reply at the same time.

“What do you mean Atsushi, we have WD-40…” Yosano says, innocently.

“Not after the last time. The stuff’s too powerful.” Atsushi shudders.

“Oh come on, he needs it.” Yosano replies.

“Lucy, back me up here.”

“He can use the WD-40. Let him face the consequences.”

Atsushi gives Lucy a look.

“Fine.” She turns to a nasal tone, “Akutagawa, please don’t use the WD-40, you’ll wreck the car you’re so in love with.”

“Hey, I do not sound like that!”

Yosano snickers, “You kind of do.” 

“I don’t think you sound like that.” Akutagawa remarks.

“See, thank you–”

Akutagawa deepens his voice, quivering his vocal cords on every word, stating, “You sound like this.” With no room for argument.

The whole room bursts out in laughter, except Atsushi, who is positively beaming because Akutagawa deepened his voice to match his.

Akutagawa gives him a weird look. It’s like if a really constipated person got a text from their boyfriend right as a massive piece of formerly-taco-bell shit tears through their asshole.

“It’s no fun insulting you if you like it so much.”

“You look so stupid right now.” Atsushi giggles. He’s not gonna reveal why he’s so happy at Akutagawa’s impression, on the off chance he’s a transphobe. He’d rather enjoy more time with Akutagawa blissfully unaware if that’s the case.

“I second that.” Lucy chimes in. Atsushi almost forgot she was there.

“Hey Lucy–” Akutagawa whips his head around to look at her.

“I have to go.” She interrupts Atsushi, hanging up the call abruptly. 

“That was weird.” Atsushi shrugs.

But Akutagawa’s still smiling (actually, it almost looks bigger now), so Atsushi figures it’ll be fine.

He realizes his hand is still on Akutagawa’s, who has made no move to remove it, and he quickly snatches it away, mortified.

Akutagawa laughs, and it’s still such a beautiful sound.

“Careful tiger, you might rip your arm off with how fast you moved.”

“I’d gladly tear off an arm that touched you.” Atsushi repostes.

Something flashes in Akutagawa’s eyes, blink a second and you’ll miss it. It looked almost…hurt? But Atsushi tries not to read so much into it.

“So, why did Kyouka throw up?” Atsushi changes the topic.

“Panic attack.” 

“Oh.” So the stuff with Kouyou had continued to bother her. “Well, send her my love.”

“Will do, jinko.”

“Well, I’ll leave you two to it.” Yosano swings herself off of the desk she was sitting on, leaving to stand in the pay station.

That left Akutagawa and Atsushi alone.

Chapter Text

“Soo what’s your favorite flower?” Atsushi asks awkwardly.

“Why, you gonna buy me some?” Akutagawa chuckles.

Atsushi flushes, unable to bring himself to respond.

Akutagawa takes pity on him and answers, “Heather flowers.” He thinks for a moment. “Yarrow too. What about you?”

“Oh wow, so you like the wild ones!”

“You know it.” Akutagawa winks, causing Atsushi to blush even more.

“It’s hard for me to choose, I love all flowers so much! I guess if I have to, Ume, Orange Osanthamus, and Sun Flowers.”

“Wow, that’s quite the list. Are you an aspiring botanist or something?” Akutagawa perks up an eyebrow in interest.

“That would require going to college, which is something I’m not sure if I can afford to do. Besides, I can’t decide what major I would want, there’s just too many interesting things to choose from!” Atsushi excitedly reveals.

“I can’t relate. Been set on writing since I was a child, but I know finance makes more, so I went with that as my major.”

Atsushi anxiously bites his lip, fiddling with the chapped pieces. He needs to use chapstick more often. Akutagawa finds the action rather cute, however. 

“That sounds boring.” Atsushi immediately regrets the words the second they leave his mouth. “Wait–”

Akutagawa laughs his dark, breathy chortle and Atsushi feels like his face can’t possibly get any redder. 

“No, you’re right, it is.” Seeing that Atsushi is still worrying his lip, he pulls chapstick from his pocket.

“Here, you look like you could use some.”

Atsushi changes his mind. His face absolutely could get redder.

“Thanks.” He mutters, embarrassed.

The moment he presses it to his lips, his brain decides it’s a wonderful moment to remind him that Akutagawa’s lips have likely touched this chapstick.

Meaning that this is an indirect kiss.

Atsushi is sure the heat in his cheeks could power the whole wash. He’s stuck, frozen with the chapstick pressed against his upper lip.

“You okay? You look like someone just dipped you in boiling water.” Akutagawa questions, amused.

“Y-Yeah, I’m fine.” Atsushi’s voice cracks, and Akutagawa chuckles again. 

Atsushi is never getting used to that laugh. It’s just so…attractive.

He mentally punches himself for thinking that and continues applying the chapstick.

“You don’t have herpes or something right?” He asks nervously.

“No, I have never been interested in sex so I doubt it. Why?”

“You do realize you could get it from something as small as sharing chapstick, right? Roughly 20-33% of children get it before age 5, and an estimated 90% of the population has it.”

“Wow, you should become a doctor with that knowledge.” Akutagawa guffawed.

Atsushi looks at him, confused. 

“It should be part of everyone’s sex ed. Granted, I had to teach myself, so I might not be the best source on that.” He leans against the table as he says this, trying to look casual, because for some reason talking about sex with Akutagawa makes him feel like a space heater. But as he puts his hands behind him for balance one of them finds only the air and he has to readjust himself so he can properly sit on the edge. Shameful.

“Ah, that might explain it. I had to teach myself too, the foster home I was in at that age was super religious and banned me from going.” Akutagawa explains. “Why did you have to teach yourself?”

“Ah, the orphanage director didn’t want to deal with a bunch of tittering kids, so he had our teachers assign us readings of bare minimum sex ed. I ended up going to the library to learn more because basically all the books taught us was ‘if you don’t want STDs or pregnancy, don’t have sex.’” Atsushi puts the last phrase in quotation marks, making a silly face.

Akutagawa giggles, an honest to god giggle, and Atsushi practically feels himself melting into the floor.

“I mean, that’s true to an extent. Even with a condom there’s a slim chance you can still get pregnant, and the chance of getting an STD even with a condom is much greater.”

It’s a little odd to be talking about sex ed with someone he absolutely does not have a crush on, and Akutagawa has to physically bite back the urge to say ‘we can test that theory’ to Atsushi.

He doesn’t wanna scare him off. And he shouldn’t be liking Atsushi, the blockade to Dazai’s approval. No, he doesn’t like him at all.

“Well, it’s slow, and Yosano and Tanizaki have a pretty good hold on the most important aspects of the job. I’ll put some towels in the washer, check the trash to see if it needs to be thrown out, and then I’ll help you clean your car.”

“Thank you so much, the thing is like a baby to me.”

“Wait, if you usually hand wash your car, why don’t you have the materials to clean it at home.”

Crap, Akutagawa thinks, he caught me.

“Well, I couldn’t get it out with the stuff I have, so I figured I’d try some of yours before throwing out the floors.” Akutagawa fibs, and it’s not entirely a lie. 

He just didn’t use his strongest cleaners. And that definitely wasn’t on purpose. He didn’t want to have an excuse to visit Atsushi. Definitely. 

It’s pitiful how hard it is to lie to himself.

“Well, WD-40 will likely bleach it at least for a little while, but it shouldn’t cause too much issue if the dye is good.”

“So it won’t ruin the mats? Hate to break it to you Atsushi, but I kind of already knew that.” There’s a dangerous glint in Akutagawa’s eye as he says this, and Atsushi feels embarrassed all over again.

“I knew that, I was mostly kidding.”

“Sure you were.”

Atsushi is about to head to the back to grab it, but then he remembers Lucy’s abrupt termination of the call.

“One second, I have to check in with Lucy.”

Upon hearing this, Akutagawa’s face falls, but he nods encouragingly.

“Go ahead, I can wait.”

Atsushi

Hey, you good?

You kinda left in a hurry.

#1 ISSBROKIE fan

I’m fine, just didn’t want to encroach on your Akutagawa time.

Akutagawa can’t see the conversation, but he can guess at it. He knows the look he shot Lucy wasn’t exactly fair, but something about her doesn’t sit quite right with him, and he gets the feeling that it’s mutual.

Atsushi

You weren’t encroaching on anything, don’t worry.

But I am about to help him with something, so do you want to meet up sometime so you can continue your rant?

#1 ISSBROKIE fan

Absolutely, yes please.

I need to talk about how crazy my coworkers are.

Atsushi

Alright, 1:30 at the usual spot?

#1 ISSBROKIE fan

Deal.

“Alright, done checking in. I’ll get you the WD-40 and we’ll clean the back seat.”

Atsushi grabs the WD-40 from the back and quickly throws the dirty towels in the wash before having Akutagawa take him to his car.

And once he sees the state of it, he winces.

“Ouuu that’s bad.”

It looks like a ferret had gotten stuck in a frappuccino and thrashed violently as it drowned. And took like, an hour before it stopped twitching and rigor mortis set in. 

The point is, it was bad.

“I see why we need to bring out the big guns for this, but I’m still traumatized by what happened to the paint.” Atsushi tips his head towards the still-slightly disintegrated paint on all the signage. Dazai actually did get the paint, but they still haven’t finished painting over the signs (because the closing shift has repeatedly been just Dazai and Ranpo, which meant nothing got done).

“It’s dyed, and it didn’t cost me much, so even if the dye comes out, I can just buy a new one. No biggie."

Atsushi just nods and sprays the floor with WD-40.

“While that sits, is there anything else you need to clean?”

“Nope, I think that’s it.”

“Then I’ll throw out all the trash while we wait.”

“Very productive of you. I like that in a man.” Akutagawa purses his lips, wishing with everything in him that he could take that back.

He needs to dial back on the flirting if he wants to destroy these stupid feelings.

He needs to stop spending time with Atsushi in the first place.

But for some reason, he just can’t stay away.

So he lets Atsushi go throw out the trash, and collects the last shreds of self control he has to wave him off once he’s done.

“I’m good, seeing how well the WD-40 works tells me I no longer need your assistance.

Atsushi feels almost…disappointed? And it’s clear it’s visible because Akutagawa makes a face of guilt.

“That’s okay! Just call me anytime you need my help!”

“Okay, and I’ll tell Kyouka you love her.”

Atsushi’s face softens.

“Thanks, please do. I hope she’ll be feeling better soon.”

Atsushi heads back to the office, but for some unknown reason he can’t stop looking at Akutagawa as he cleans his car.

The way his cloak hangs as he leans to clean the floor, the way his hair dangles too. The way a slight breeze makes him look like a candle fire dancing in the wind. He finds himself hoping he won’t fizzle out from the gusts, because tealight flames are often fragile. It’s a silly thought to have about a man donning all black, but he has it nonetheless. He thinks about how Kyouka lights up when Akutagawa is in the room, how he feels, how easy it is to be brightened or singed by him, so he knows the comparison to a flame is rather accurate.

Akutagawa is his flame. 

And if he feels heat around him? Blame it on the fire.

Chapter Text

Atsushi heads to the cafe, glad to find Lucy already there.

“So, you were saying something about Mark, the spitball loser?” Atsushi asks, already amused.

Lucy gives him a serious nod before continuing her rant.

“Right. So he messages me, weird shit, too, like captioning a picture of a pink pocket pistol next to a red and brown rifle with, ‘This could be us’.”

“That’s so painfully American.” Atsushi says as he pulls his chair out to sit with her.

“I know right?” Lucy exhales sharply. “And there’s this mystery guy! Who would leave raw potatoes on my desk.”

“What?!?!” Atsushi exclaims, leaning forward.

“Yeah, peeled, uncooked potatoes.”

“What the fuck?!?!” Atsushi is floored.

“And I have no idea who it was! But now my coworker John is messaging me asking where I went, so I think it might be him. But it could also be Louisa, because Margaret messaged me saying she misses me. Which is so out of character, by the way, because Louisa doesn’t talk to anybody other than the boss, Fitzgerald.”

“Maybe Margaret wonders where you went and just didn’t want to say it directly?”

“Sounds like her up until the idea that she pays attention to anything outside of her family and herself.”

“Wow, okay, for someone who didn’t make any friends, you sound like you know your coworkers pretty well.”

Lucy rolls her eyes at Atsushi’s words.

“Making friends and knowing shit are two very different things, Atsushi.” 

“Yeah, but if you have all this dirt on them and have caught the eye of at least 3 people, then you must’ve talked with someone long enough to leave an impression.”

“I literally only got taught how to do things and supervised by Margaret, who was doing it in Louisa’s place because despite Louisa ranking higher she’s too snooty to be bothered with the likes of me!” Lucy huffs, crossing her arms over her chest like a child.

“Are you sure that’s the reason why?” Atsushi questions, quirking an eyebrow.

“Yes! What other reason could there possibly be?!?!?!?!”

“I don’t know…maybe social anxiety?”

“You imbecile, that's impossible. To get a higher position you have to interact with others. That’s why I haven’t blocked Mark yet, in case he becomes useful in climbing up the social then corporate ladder.”

“Wow, brutal. Didn’t know you were such a fan of capitalistic bullshit.”

“I’m not! I just need the pay so I can go back to America if I nee–” Lucy cuts herself off, jaw slack as she realizes she revealed too much.

“Didn’t they specifically send you out here?”

“Yes.” She says. 

You know, like a liar.

“So you would be going back to America on their schedule?” Suspicion is creeping into Atsushi’s tone.

Lucy grits her teeth.

“Yes, I would.”

They sit in silence for a while, Atsushi looking at Lucy like he’s trying to untangle the near-forgotten electrical cords in the junk drawer that you only open out of desperation.

“Well!” Lucy slams her hands on the table and stands up, “I’m not hungry or thirsty, are you?”

Atsushi blinks at her, dazed and confused.

“Not particularly, why?”

“Let’s go for a drive!”

She turns and leaves before Atsushi can get a word in, so he just follows her to her “rental car” that’s bright pink, boxy, and low to the ground.

It looks expensive, and Atsushi knows she can’t exactly afford that yet. Still, he bites his tongue.

“I’m playing ISSBROKIE, and I don’t care if I STILL HAVENT FORGIVEN YOU LOL starts playing, it’s a bop you’re just blind to the heavenly light of ISSBROKIE’s musical epiphanies.”

“Oh God, please no. I hate that song so much.” Atsushi groans.

Lucy laughs manically. 

“Well that’s too damn bad!”

Lucy messes with where the car connects to her phone then shuffles ISSBROKIE. New Chapter starts playing, much to Atsushi’s relief, as it’s a relatively normal song of hers.

“See, if you finally made a playlist of ISSBROKIE music normal people can stand to listen to, this is what you should put on it.”

“Okay, just for that I’m skipping it. You’re no longer allowed to enjoy this.” Lucy smarts.

Atsushi decides to bite his tongue, schooling his expression, but his discomfort is clear as they skip through songs like Pick Up The Pace, C Wut I B, BRB, Through Thunder and Lightning, ASSIST and a few others Atsushi doesn’t know the name of.

And then they reach Baby I Need Your Love, and Atsushi audibly groans.

It’s not that it’s a bad or particularly offensive song, by any means. It’s just so annoyingly catchy. And extremely 70’s-80’s.

And Lucy sing/screams it, making it all the more obnoxious.

“BABY I NEED YOUR LOVE!” 

She shakes her head back and forth with each line.

“And I aint’ talkin’ dates meeting up to fuck.”

She gestures at Atsushi to start singing, to which he reluctantly joins in.

“BABY I NEED YOUR LOVE!”

Lucy leans toward Atsushi, moving her hand in a wave motion.

“I’m talking about the hugs and the such n such.”

She makes a silly face, pursuing her lips and crossing her eyes, before singing with her whole chest,

“BABY I NEED YOUR LOVE!”

She nudges Atsushi before moving back to a regular sitting position, smiling encouragingly at him.

“And I ain’t talkin’ late nights at the club.”

They continue to sing for a while, and Atsushi starts having fun.

“Hey, what if we went through your carwash? Say hi to your coworkers.”

“Sure!”

They’re already close, so they’re practically at the carwash by the time U Ma Type starts playing.

And shockingly, they see Tanizaki at the pay station, Ranpo pouting in the tunnel (which must’ve taken a miracle) and a handoff of the kids from Akutagawa to Yosano, who was supposed to be banned from taking care of Kyouka.

Huh. Guess Kouyou finally lifted the ban.

They pull up to the pay station and as they roll the window down, Tanizaki smirks at them. 

“You wanna buy a membership, Atsushi?” He says, wiggling his brows.

Lucy answers for him.

“Nah, I won’t be here long and this is a rental car, so just the bare minimum wash for us.”

“Okay, your loss.” Tanizaki chuckles.

They hear a voice from behind him.

“Tanizaki! Are you ignoring me!?!?!”

Naomi. He’s on a call with his sister. 

Of course.

Tanizaki yelps.

“No, of course not! Be right there my sweet!”

Atsushi and Lucy both cringe. 

As soon as they’re out of earshot, Lucy asks, “Who was on call with him?”

“His sister.”

Lucy winces like she just bit into a rotting lemon.

“Gross.”

“I know.”

Ranpo waves them in, lollypop sticking out of his mouth, clearly grumbling to himself all the while.

Once they’re close enough for him to see them, Ranpo lights up.

“Atsushi!” He shrieks. “Save me from this hell!”

He starts clambering into the car, placing his hands right by Lucy’s thighs, causing her to make a face of sheer and utter disgust.

“Ew! Get your filthy man-hands off me and get out of my damn car!”

“It’s not your car, it’s a rental car!” Ranpo cheerfully declares.

“How did you–nevermind, it’s my car right now, get out!”

Ranpo runs to the other side, “Atsushi! You have to help me! Get me out of here!”

As he starts climbing in, Yosano catches on and comes to yell at him.

“RANPO YOU GET BACK–Oh hi Atsushi dear how are you?”

Ranpo steps back from the car, ensnared by Yosano’s renewed attention on him, and whines like a little kid.

“You got me caught Atsushi? How could you? After I’ve been working so hard I deserve a break at Angel’s having all the snacks I want.”

Yosano smacks Ranpo on the head as Kyouka peeks her head out the door.

“Atsushi? I thought you weren’t here today.” Her eyes are akindled by Atsushi’s presence.

“I’m not, but Lucy wanted to visit.”

Kyouka walks up to the car, but Yosano stops her.

“You can talk to him later. Cars are starting to line up, so Ranpo you bring him through and then you two can talk.”

“Tyranny! Tyranny! Tyranny!” Ranpo screams.

Yosano grabs him by the ear and pulls him to the right side of the wash, Ranpo making pained noises all the while.

“Oh hush, this is your job, you knew what you had to do.”

So after a scolding from Yosano, Ranpo waves them in, sulking all the while.

Chapter Text

Ranpo goes straight to the keypad, sticking out his tongue at Atsushi. The wash starts with a loud buzz, and Atsushi is left waiting on the pre-wash spray that never comes.

They paid for it. But Ranpo purposefully isn’t giving it to them. Atsushi looks back at Ranpo who is still sticking his tongue out and now pulling at his lower eyelid, blowing a raspberry at him.

The car finally jerks forward, and the car is drenched in pink fizz.

Atsushi has never been inside the wash before. He doesn’t even know what half of the arches do, but he’s half-certain the pink is the wax? Which doesn’t sound right, but the blue and white speckled soap is now coming down and Atsushi is sure both of their jaws are slack with awe right now.

The top brush wipes off the excess soap, pushing little rectangle gaps in between the soap until it’s almost gone. Then the front wrap comes spinning in, to the same effect.

They’re then rinsed off, and blowed dry so loudly Atsushi can hear it clearly from inside the car.

It’s almost as loud as the buzzer when the wash starts.

“Again! Again!” Lucy giggles from her spot next to him, leaning toward Atsushi and slapping him lightly with her hand.

“Lucy, you’re supposed to drive out now, the light says it’s okay.”

“And then could we do it again?” She asks, blinking owlishly.

“I’m not wasting either of our money on that.” Atsushi crosses his arms, firm.

“Boo! You’re no fun.” She says, turning the wheel to go out of the wash.

“It damages the paint anyway!”

“Whatever, boring lame manie-man.”

“What does that even mean?!?!?!”

Lucy just shrugs at him.

“Whatever I want it to mean.”

“And that is…?”

“Not telling, because you’re a MAN.”

Atsushi laughs, stunned. He shouldn’t be, Lucy makes jokes like this all the time, but he just wasn’t expecting the same joke twice in a row.

“Okay and if I told you–”

“Don’t go there, this is why I hate men.”

Atsushi raises his hands up.

“I’m just joking! If you get to joke I get to joke!” Atsushi defends.

Lucy huffs, turning away from him.

“I guess.”

“Look, I know there’s a difference between a patriarchal joke and a joke from a woman. But we’re friends, so I thought making that joke would be okay because you know I don’t mean it. I was wrong, it hurt your feelings, so I’m sorry.” Atsushi says in ernest. 

“Stop being all serious and shit! It’s not that big of a deal!”

“Okay, sorry–”

“WHAT DID I JUST SAY!” She yells playfully, smacking him on the shoulder.

She turns into the parking lot and turns to Atsushi, dictating their respective jobs.

“Okay, you go in, chat with your coworkers, see if you can wet these towels any more than the pathetic sprays can. I stay here and vacuum until you’re done. Deal?”

Atsushi climbs out of the car.

“We have time, it’s not that busy. Why don’t you come in with me and I can introduce you to my coworkers?” Atsushi offers, opening her door and holding his hand out so she can get out of the car.

“Look. I know you and Akutagawa are okay now, but he was still really rude to you. Him turning around and saying some pretty words doesn’t change that. So don’t expect me to like him.” She smacks his hand away and gets out herself. 

“But! That doesn’t mean I don’t respect that you’re chill with him now. So I’m just not going to talk to him, lest I get angry.” She grumbles.

Atsushi raises his hands in defeat.

“Okay, okay, I’ll go in alone.”

Atsushi was kind of hoping Yosano and Lucy got to meet. He had a feeling they would get along well.

But, such is life. He goes to the office to see Akutagawa leaving in a hurry.

“Where are you off to so fast?”

“Very, very late for a class.” Akutagawa hisses.

He bumps into Atsushi’s shoulder as he goes, prompting Atsushi to say “Geez, if you’re already late what does a couple minutes matter?”

He just gets a middle finger in response, and a quiet, “everything!” Yelled from a distance.

Atsushi just shakes his head and goes inside, and Kyouka runs right up to him.

“Atsushi! I drew you!”

She hands him a picture of himself, except he has tiger paws and ears on.

“Wow, I’ve never looked cuter!” Atsushi says, rubbing the top of her head as she clings to him.

Yosano leans back, reminding Atsushi that she’s there.

“So, Kouyou lifted the ban, eh?” He asks.

“Yeah, she was sick of me complaining. And Kunikida said it was his decision now, not hers, which did make her more than a little upset.”

“I don’t know why she thinks she can control my life when she’s the one that left me!” Kyouka growls.

“I don’t either.” Atsushi agrees.

“I know it’s hard, but she wanted to be able to pay for Gin and Akutagawa’s college.” Yosano says, and Atsushi immediately winces.

“Oh, so college is more important than me now?” Kyouka accuses.

“That’s not–”

“Not what?” Kyouka seethes.

“Look, I know her choice hurt you a lot, you deserved a family and she shouldn't have promised what she can’t follow through on. I’m sure one of these days one of the Akutagawa’s will show her it was the wrong choice, one that I do not agree with.” Yosano articulates.

Kyouka pauses.

“Would you adopt me?” 

Her eyes look almost hopeful.

Yosano reluctantly shakes her head, and Kyouka looks crushed.

“I wouldn’t be able to give you the time and attention–”

Kyouka walks right past her and locks herself in the bathroom, slamming the door shut.

Atsushi shakes his head.

“You just couldn’t keep your mouth shut, Yo-san.” 

Yosano looks away guiltily.

Atsushi goes to knock on the door.

“You okay?”

“Go away!” Kyouka shouts.

“Do you want crepes now, later, or not at all?” Atsushi asks.

He remembers Akutagawa mentioning she liked them once.

Kyouka opens the door slightly.

“Later…” She whispers quietly, before closing the door again.

Atsushi sighs, figuring that’s the best he’ll get for now.

“I’m going to clean the car with Lucy. Once I’m done, I’ll check on Kyouka again. If she comes out, you better apologize.”

Yosano sighs.

“For what, Atsushi? Defending my girlfriend?”

Atsushi scoffs.

“From what? A child she left behind?”

Yosano looks away again.

“You’re right.” She mumbles, “I’ll apologize.”

“Damn right.” 

Atsushi leaves in a strop.

Chapter Text

Akutagawa is actually early to his class. Accounting 216, his worst, most boring class. Maybe not as boring as Stat 185, but still horrible. 

He did not want to talk to Atsushi, because he feels so much even just thinking about him.

Hatred for being better than him in the eyes of Dazai. For being acknowledged by him instead of just yelled at.

This uneasy, growing feeling of warmth every time he’s near him, which comes with its own bag of feelings. Disgust, fear, awe, the urge to lean into it because it just feels so good, but mostly fear. He doesn’t want to like Atsushi. He can’t like Atsushi. This friendship will only last as long as it takes to gain Dazai’s approval. He doesn’t like Atsushi. He hates Atsushi.

He keeps telling himself this on repeat the whole lecture, barely paying attention. He’s only shaken out of it by people around him leaving, bringing a sinking feeling in his stomach. Shit. This is his worst class, after all. He can’t afford to not pay attention. Before leaving, he gets a call from his sister.

“Heyyy brother how are youuu.”

“What do you want.” Akutagawa asks curtly.

“Nothing, nothing! Can’t I want to talk to my favoritest brother?” She asks.

“Spit it out.”

Akutagawa is having none of her shit.

“Fiiinnneee. I have a date–” She starts, but is cut off by Akutagawa.

“God you’re like a serial monogamist with all of these damn dates are you ever not on a date?”

“Rude.” She continues, “But I need help getting ready. I’m still pissed that you can do my makeup better than me.”

“Me too, so stop asking me.”

“Oh come ooonnn don’t be like that.” She groans.

“Okay.” Akutagawa raises his hands in defeat, despite her not being there to see it. “I’ll be home in 10.”

“Thanks bro, you’re the–”

He disconnects the call.

“Little fucking asshole.” Gin mutters to herself, staring incredulously at her phone.

And as he said, he’s there in 10. He takes off his binder through his shirt right as he gets in, sighing in relief as he finally gets the right amount of air in.

He got the binder years ago, and is all around wider now, so he knows he needs to get a new one. He just hasn’t gotten around to it. It’s definitely not because he likes how the extra binding looks too much to buy another one now.

But, he’s home, and Gin would get on his ass for wearing it too long, so he folds it up and leaves it on the little counter near the divot where they leave their shoes.

He takes those off too, and steps into the room.

“Oi dickhead, you’re finally here, get to work chop-chop.” Gin projects from her room.

“Yes, at the time I said I would be here, 10 minutes exactly.”

“Whatever, details schmetails.”

She sits at her vanity, jutting her face out at him and closing her eyes.

“Well? What are you waiting for? Let's go.”

He reaches for the foundation but realizes he has to ask first.

“Is today a foundation day?”

“Nope! Just concealer, I don’t want to look too cake-y.”

So he picks up the concealer instead. He knows she likes covering up her little moles, so as much as he hates covering them, he does so anyway.

“So, who’s victim?”

“A pretty girl from America named Amelie.”

“Unfortunate name. Sounds like she deserves to get her heart broken.”

Gin swats at him playfully upon hearing this.

“Oh stop, I do not break hearts.” 

He applies lines of concealer above her cheekbone to give her a more lifted look, adding some under it as well.

She opens her eyes and turns to look at him seriously.

“But I will be bringing her back so I need you gone roughly 8-pm to 2-am.”

Akutagawa shakes his head despite her eyes being closed again and says, “Okay, you do not need to fuck her that long. There’s no way I’m staying out until 2, I have an 8-am class tomorrow.”

“Too bad, you should've thought of that when you registered for courses. Get a hotel. If things go wrong I might let you in earlier. Might.”

She twirls a piece of her hair around her finger.

“Soo…” She starts casually, “How’s it going with Atsushi? You stopped ranting about how annoying his eyes were recently, getting a little concerned you two finally broke all that sexual tension.”

“Sexual tension?!?!” Akutagawa sputters, eyes wide.

“Please, I don’t even like him, especially not like that!”

Gin looks unconvinced.

“Uh-huh, you keep telling yourself that.”

He carefully blends in the concealer and starts on contour.

“Ah, by the way, I want colourful eyeshadow. Do whatever you want with it, be creative. Make me look like an artistic genius.”

“You mean I’d look like an artistic genius, because you’re doing absolutely none of the work.”

“Ap bah bah I’m sitting here, that’s half the work.” Akutagawa rolls his eyes upon hearing that. “And the goal is to pretend I’m this talented myself.” She snootily says.

“Okay, stop buttering me up, I’ll help you hide the body.”

“Wha–Theres no body, can’t I be nice to my brother just because?”

“No.”

“Well, I’m ‘buttering you up’ to see if I can get you to finally admit, at least to yourself, that you like Atsushi.”

“I don’t like him!” Akutagawa utters defensively.

Gin just opens her eyes to stare into his soul.

“Really?” She says, unimpressed.

“He might have vexingly interesting eyes and pearlescent hair and—” Akutagawa stops. 

“Oh fuck I’m totally proving your point.”

She nods like he’s slow. 

“A little.” She pauses, pensive, like she’s unsure if she wants to say anything.

“What are you going to do about it?” She continues.

“Nothing. It’s not fair to him to do anything if I still feel resentment over Dazai choosing him over me.”

Gin hums, “So you’re just going to suffer in silence?”

Akutagawa blends in the contour and starts on the eyeshadow. Gin doesn’t like wearing blush.

“No, I’m going to stay away and hope it goes away on its own.”

She turns to him and he glares, a silent way to tell her to stop moving. She doesn’t heed this warning and speaks.

“And when that doesn’t work?”

“It will.” 

Akutagawa is certain. He has to be.

“You’re only going to hurt more.” 

Gin sighs. 

“If you really want to get over him, let it just happen eventually. But enjoy it while you can. It’s not everyday someone can make you feel that spark.” She advises.

He grunts in response, but he takes the words into consideration.

It’s true, he enjoys feeling brighter, lighter, around Atsushi. He’s not sure if he’s fully willing to give that up now.

But he hates the pain of longing for what he can’t have. It’s then that he realizes Gin’s point. He’s going to feel that longing even when Atsushi isn’t there. In fact, it might even be worse.

So he decides that yes, he’s going to take advantage of it when he can, and hopes for the sake of his own self control that Atsushi doesn’t get a crush on him. 

“You’re done.” He says, spinning Gin around to show her the green eyeshadow with purple music sheet eyeliner.

She gasps.

“How did you know I was taking her to live music?!?!”

“That’s always your move. I doubt it’s a concert though, based on the times. Let me guess, a fancy bar you’re going to make her pay the tab at.”

“Excuse you I have class! I believe the person inviting has to pay, unless they’re conveniently in the bathroom by the time the server comes around.” She giggles.

“You’re horrible.” Akutagawa says, shaking his head and smiling.

“You know I’m joking.” 

She stands up and grabs her bag.

“Welp, I’m off. Have fun while I’m gone! Think about what I said!”

The door clicks shut behind her.

So Akutagawa is left alone with his thoughts.

...

He could really go for some crepes right about now.

Chapter Text

Atsushi finds himself stomping toward Lucy.

“You good? Trouble in paradise?” She questions, and something flickers in her eyes.

“Yosano was being an asshole to Kyouka. I’m sick of people trying to explain away what Kouyou did. She might not have meant to hurt Kyouka, but she did.” Atsushi huffs. “She even childishly defended it as protecting her girlfriend, which is so out of character for her.”

Lucy can’t help but feel relieved that it had nothing to do with Akutagawa.

“Well, did you get to talk with Kyouka?”

“Yes, we’re getting her crepes later. I’ll check in again at that time.”

“Good.” Lucy tosses him a towel, adding, “Now get to cleaning! There’s some spots left on the windows.”

“Oh shoot! I completely forgot to wet a towel for us!”

“Do you want to go back in?”

Atsushi hesitates, before saying, “...no…”

“Then just soap is fine. What is this anyway?”

“Literally just windex.” Atsushi replies.

“So it’s close to useless, is what I’m hearing.”

“I can go–”

“Nope. We’re dealing with this for however long it takes.” Lucy stands her ground.

So they clean, and clean, and it honestly only takes 5 minutes but it felt a lot longer than that okay?!!?!?

So they return inside to Yosano and Kyouka.

Yosano looks away when they walk in, ashamed, and Atsushi can’t help but glare at her.

He goes to knock on the bathroom door, but the moment he’s in front of it, Kyouka opens the door and hugs him.

“How’d you know I was here?” Atsushi asks, confused.

“I know what your footsteps sound like.”

Atsushi is familiar with that tendency. He memorized the difference between the headmaster’s and Lucy’s footsteps by the time either of them showed him who they were.

He hurts knowing that Kyouka likely also had to learn that out of pain others inflicted on her.

“I’m really hungry,” Kyouka admits.

“Do you want to get tofu before the crepes?”

Kyouka just nods.

She glares at Yosano as they walk out.

“Kyouka, I’m sorry I tried to rationalize Kouyou’s actions to you. What she did to you is unforgivable and her being my girlfriend should not change my view on that. I’m sorry.” Yosano bows very, very low as she says this.

“Give me 10,000 yen.” Kyouka responds curtly.

Yosano gives her a weird look, but complies. Kyouka turns to leave, Lucy and Atsushi in tow.

“Why did you…” Atsushi trails off.

“It will pay for our food.” Kyouka explains.

“I’m sure it will cost less than 10,000, what’s the rest for?” Atsushi asks.

“Hush money. If she didn’t give it, I'd tell Fukuzawa, who is basically her father; he would give her an earful.”

“Huh. You’re quite the business woman, Kyouka.” Lucy chips in.

“Thank you.” Kyouka seems satisfied with the praise.

They walk to Lucy’s car and Kyouka immediately gasps.

“It’s pink!!” She exclaims.

“Yes, it is.” Lucy smiles.

“I didn’t even know cars came in pink!” Kyouka enthused.

“Well, they do, and I managed to score myself one.” Lucy proudly declares, opening the backseat door and holding out her hand to help Kyouka on.

“This is so cool!” Kyouka gushes.

Once Kyouka is buckled in, “I can do it myself you know, I’m not four”, and the rest are in the car, Lucy turns on some music.

It’s nightcoringearly2000ssongsthatmakemethinkofyou by ISSBROKIE, and Lucy almost skips it, before Kyouka says, “I like this one! Keep it.”

“You have good taste.” Lucy and Atsushi speak in unison.

“What happened to not liking ISSBROKIE?” Lucy teases.

Atsushi lightly punches her on the shoulder.

“I never said I didn’t like her as a whole, I just don’t like some of her music.”

Lucy shrugs.

“Fair.”

They chatter for the rest of the ride, Kyouka talking about her favorite show Hunter x Hunter. As it turns out, all three of them love that show, so they enter a heated discussion about Gon’s temperament and Illumi's allegorical hold over Killua.

In the restaurant, they continue to talk about Hunter x Hunter. Kyouka and Atsushi agree the Chimera Ant Arc is the best while Lucy claims the Greed Island is the best arc, offending the other two. Kyouka eats 3 bowls of boiled tofu and pickled daikon stew, and Atsushi realizes that they probably will use the entire 10,000 yen.

Afterwards, they head to a bakery that is known for its crepes.

And they find Akutagawa sitting right by the door, whipped cream on the corners of his mouth, chowing down on a crepe like a starving man who hasn’t had a proper meal in weeks.

Atsushi and Akutagawa make eye contact, and Akutagawa looks utterly ashamed to be found like this.

As they walk in the store, a bell attached to the door rings.

“Akutagaw!” Kyouka excitedly yelps.

“Heyyyy…” Atsushi awkwardly starts, “How was class?”

Akutagawa looks away. 

“It was good.” He quickly enunciates.

“You were kind of in a hurry. How much did you manage to catch?” Atsushi asks.

“Most of it.” Akutagawa replies gruffly, not revealing that he had actually been early.

Atsushi finds himself wiping at the whipped cream on Akutagawa’s mouth, unintentionally lingering on his lower lip. It’s warm and pillowy and the feeling of it under his thumb is addicting, but he forces himself to pull back once he realizes how long he’s been touching it. Now Atsushi is the one embarrassed.

“Careful there, I might think you’re in love with me.” Akutagawa chaffs. 

He ignores the way his heart leaps at the thought of his feelings being returned.

It’s then that Akutagawa notices Lucy’s glare, full of vitriol that screams her disapproval of him.

Honestly, if their roles were reversed, Akutagawa would hate her too. So he can’t exactly blame her for it.

“Well,” Lucy huffs, “If you two are done with whatever that was, we have a dessert to get to.”

“I want to sit with ‘Gawa!!” Kyouka chirps.

Lucy’s glare almost burns a hole through Akutagawa’s head as he says, “Sure, y’all can sit with me. Not like I’m doing anything important by myself, having some rare free time right now.”

So they all sit down, Lucy screeching her chair against the floor as she pulls it out to sit down. She’s still glaring daggers at Akutagawa.

It’s clear Atsushi notices by now, and he looks incredibly uncomfortable, so Akutagawa either saves or dooms them by asking,

“So, how have you been since I last saw you?"

Chapter Text

“Well, not much time has passed.” Atsushi laughs, “But I’m doing okay.”

“I’m doing better. Yosano tried to excuse Kouyou not adopting me because she wanted to pay for your college. But Atsushi has cheered me up.”

Akutagawa wrinkles his nose.

“She didn’t adopt you so me and Gin could go to college? That doesn’t make sense.” Akutagawa grits his teeth, “I’m going to have to talk to her about that.”

“My mood has been ruined, since nobody asked.” Lucy spits out.

She immediately cringes at herself. She needs to learn to restrain herself around Akutagawa. Atsushi is on good terms with him now, and she needs to get with the program before Atsushi catches onto her feelings before she can get them reciprocated. Which Akutagawa is making harder. It seems Atsushi is at least developing a crush on him, if he doesn’t already have one.

Akutagawa clasps his hands together.

“Well, I’m glad everyone is just peachy.” Akutagawa says, pointedly ignoring Lucy’s comment, “What crepes do y’all want? I’ll order, my treat.”

“Really?” Kyouka asks, eyes sparkling.

“You don’t have to, you know.” Atsushi says.

Akutagawa glances at Lucy, then back at Atsushi.

“Consider it penance.”

“I’ll have strawberries and cream with strawberry popping boba and jelly.”

“Fun fact, they were just called tapioca pearls in Thailand and were only called boba in China. And boba happens to be Cantonese slang for big breasts. So you just asked me to order you strawberries and cream with big boobs.” 

Lucy snorts.

“Well, I sorely need those, so go ahead and order that for me once you take Atsushi’s order.” Lucy jokes.

“You really don’t ha–” Atsushi starts, but is cut off by Akutagawa shushing him with his finger on his lips.

“Ap ap ap no buts. I’m doing this because I want to.”

He lets his finger linger on Atsushi’s lips, as a treat.

“Fine. Rice cake with hojicha syrup, matcha cream, and red bean paste.”

“And last but not least, the light of my world guiding me through the dark, my lovely princess Kyouka?” Akutagawa wisecracks.

Kyouka snorts.

“I’ll have the same as Lucy, with some strawberry milk please.”

“Done!” Akutagawa stands up to order.

“You didn’t tell me he was going to be here!” Lucy hisses under her breath.

“Because I didn’t know! You saw how surprised he was seeing us. You should’ve been able to figure that out!” Atsushi says, entirely too loud.

“Quiet down!” Lucy whispers.

“Okay, okay, but whatever issues you have with him, you’re going to have to get over them, for my sake and Kyouka’s sake as much as yours. Capiche?” Atsushi mutters.

“Fine.” Lucy huffs and looks away.

Akutagawa comes back with their crepes, and Kyouka immediately digs in.

“Amazing that you’re still so hungry after 3 bowls of tofu soup.” Atsushi remarks.

“I haff a secon stomaf fo foo” Kyouka says, cheeks stuffed with food.

“Kyouka, don’t talk with your mouth full.” Akutagawa chides.

“You no my fafer!” Kyouka replies indignantly.

“You’re right, ideally I’m your brother.”

Kyouka swallows and you can visibly see it go down her throat, like a cartoon character.

“Don’t remind me.” She says darkly.

Lucy glares at Akutagawa. It’s not like she wasn’t glaring before, it just got more intense.

“Sorry, you’re right, I shouldn’t have brought that up.” Akutagawa admits.

“Good. Give me 1000 yen.” Kyouka’s delivery is entirely blunt.

Akutagawa reaches into his wallet and she snickers.

“I didn’t actually mean that, but if you want to give me 1000 yen, go on ahead!” She bursts into a fit of laughter.

With full body giggles, she leans back a bit and almost knocks her chair over, getting caught by Atsushi. This makes her laugh harder.

“I–” She’s cut off by her own giggling. “It–”

This attempt to speak in between laughter continues for some time, but once she’s finally able to get words out, she does.

“I can’t believe you actually thought I wanted you to–” She’s laughed out, so she interrupted herself with just gasps, clutching her stomach.

“Okay, this actually hurts now, fuck you ‘Gawa.”

“It’s not my fault you’re laughing.”

Lucy and Atsushi both give him blank stares, and Kyouka would be too if she weren’t still caught in silent laughter.

“Okay, so maybe it is, what about it?” Akutagawa quips.

“You’re killing me! I’m plagued with laughter you set down upon me! I’m dying!” Kyouka accuses dramatically.

“Good. Then I get a bite of your crepe, it looks tasty.”

“You can have one anyway, I don’t like the jelly.”

Lucy gasps.

“How can you dislike jelly? It’s peak, nothing is better than jelly!”

Kyouka makes a face.

“I don’t like the texture. Too wiggly, like it’s trying to escape your mouth. I want food that actually enjoys its stay there.”

“I’m surprised you’re not vegetarian then.” Atsushi kids.

“I am, actually! To the best of my ability with whatever different foster homes offered, but yeah, I’m vegetarian.”

Akutagawa shakes his head.

“I still want to kill every foster parent who forced you to eat meat.”

Kyouka frowns, clearly not liking the memories that incited. She had often had meat forced down her throat with tears trailing down her cheeks. It was always a lucky draw if foster parents made tempeh, seitan, or especially tofu for her instead of meat.

“You have my permission.” She affirms.

Akutagawa stands up, but Kyouka tugs on his sleeve.

“Not now, let us finish our crepes.”

“Oh by the way, what was your crepe?” Atsushi asks.

“Ube and taro.” Akutagawa replies.

Atsushi suppresses a shudder.

“Interesting combination, sounds like something Tetchou would cook up.” He says instead of directly criticising it.

Akutagawa has been nice recently, he deserved nice treatment back.

“You don’t have to pretend it sounds good. I only got it for the ube, and honestly, it was surprisingly good, so I recommend it.”

“Your taste buds must be as fucked up as you are.” Lucy utters.

Akutagawa smirks.

“I don’t know, I’m pretty fucked up.” He jokes.

At that moment, Lucy gets a phone call.

“One second, I need to take this.”

“No worries, I should probably get back. Forgot my laptop and I have homework I need to do.” Akutagawa reluctantly reveals.

“Me too, it’s past my bed time and I’m sure if my phone wasn’t on silent I would’ve gotten a billion calls from Kunikida.” Kyouka says, rolling her eyes.

“Need help getting back to Kunikida’s then?” Atsushi asks.

“I’m good, but thanks for the offer.”

“So Kunikida won’t be mad if he finds out you went home alone?”

Kyouka pauses.

“Fuck, you’re right.”

Atsushi gasps.

“Don’t curse Kyouka!”

“Oh piss off, I’m 14, I can curse.”

“Let the girl curse.” Lucy and Akutagawa speak in unison.

They both make a face, revolted that they agree on something.

Lucy takes the call, and Akutagawa starts his walk to the bus station.

Once she’s off the call, she drives both Kyouka home, and Kyouka falls asleep on the way there.

Kunikida yells at them for letting her stay out so long, only stopping once a bleary eyed Kyouka hugs him and asks him to stop.

“Wanna stay at my place?” Lucy asks, like she’s sharing a secret or something.

“No, I want to sleep in my own bed today.” Atsushi says.

Lucy is disappointed, but she takes him home, playing more songs from the f**k album because Atsushi said he liked nightcoringearly200ssongsthatmakemethinkofyou. And if she sprinkles in the only Mitski songs she can stand, Dan the Dancer and Drunk Walk Home, because Atsushi loves Mitski? That’s between her and Atsushi.

Chapter Text

On Atsushi’s eighteenth shift, Yosano is there, and he can’t help but glare at her.

“So, you thought it was a good idea to tell Kyouka she wasn’t being adopted because Kouyou was prioritizing her other children?”

Yosano sighs. 

“That’s not the whole story. Kouyou feels insecure about her ability to parent because Gin felt neglected by her, which isn’t far from the truth, to be honest. She had to work her ass off for years and could barely spend time with the Akutagawas between school and work, and she’s worried she wouldn’t be able to give Kyouka the childhood she deserves even if she didn’t take this new position. That, and she wants to pay for their college as penance for a lackluster childhood, though I shouldn’t’ve started with that.” Yosano reveals.

“Why didn’t you tell Kyouka that Kouyou felt insecure? It would’ve made her feel a bit better.” Atsushi questions, raising a brow.

“I was going to, but it’s not my place anyway. Kouyou has to tell her herself.” 

Atsushi pauses, thinking.

“That’s…fair, actually. As much as I want Kyouka to know right now so she hurts less, she needs to hear it first from Kouyou directly.”

Yosano agrees.

“Did you try to convince her she could be a good parent for Kyouka since she’s no longer in school?” Atsushi asks.

Yosano nods.

“I did, but she wasn’t hearing it. I haven’t seen her so torn up since her ex broke up with her.”

“Well, it’s good to know Kouyou isn’t a total asshole. Still, stop defending her to Kyouka. She doesn’t need that right now.”

“Message heard, loud and clear.” Yosano continues, “It was childish of me to do so, I’m sorry you had to deal with that.”

Atsushi wipes his hands and raises them, using his hands to motion them cleaning themselves of bad blood.

“No worries, as long as you’re working on it.”

“Oh right, before I forget!” Yosano reaches into her bag, and pulls out a purple and cream coloured tiger keychain.

“Since you said those are your favorite colours. Also, because your not-crush calls you jinko.”

“I was going to thank you, but fuck you for that last comment, we’re barely friends.” Atsushi glowers.

But, he puts it on his backpack anyway.

A car pulls up, and Yosano groans.

“Ranpo, any chance you take care of this one?”

Ranpo takes the lollipop out of his mouth and turns in his chair to face them.

“Nope! And Yuki won’t punish me for missing one car, soooo,” Ranpo fluctuates his tone on the last word obnoxiously, “You! Are going to have to take this one!”

“Who’s Yuki?” Atsushi asks, confused.

“It’s Ranpo’s nickname for Fukuzawa, short for Yukichi.” Yosano sighs, gets up from where she was leaning on the table, and dusts off her thighs like there was anything there. Certainly stalling for time.

She tries to bring the car in, but something clearly goes wrong.

So she comes back in to check the computers.

“That’s odd,” She murmurs, “It says the wash is full, but there’s no cars in it.”

She changes tabs and empties the wash, going back outside to bring the car in, which Atsushi then sends through the wash.

“By the way, Atsushi, I’m planning on buying us lunch today. What’s your favorite food, I’ll see if I can buy it.”

“Chazuke!” Atsushi exclaims, already anticipating eating it.

“Not even gonna ask me?” Ranpo pouts.

Yosano rolls her eyes.

“I know it, red bean soup because you’re a sap, you only get it if you work though.” She says.

“Discrimination! I can’t work due to sweets deprivation, I need the soup in order to work!” Ranpo whines.

“Wait, why does that make him a sap?”

“It was the first thing dad bought for me when he adopted me.” He replies.

“That’s…actually really cute.” 

“So! Where’s my soup?”

A member rolls in through their lane, pulling up to the wash.

“Take this car and I’ll order it for you.”

“Nope! No can do. Give me the soup up front!”

Yosano sighs, and grabs Ranpo by the arm.

“What are you doing?!?!” He shrieks.

“I’m helping you get that soup, since you’re so stubborn.”

Atsushi can’t help but giggle at them. Ranpo gasps like he just shot his dog.

“You dare mock me!?!?” He yells.

Yosano starts pulling him toward the door.

“Unhand me this instant!” He shouts, but Yosano is already closing the door in his face and leaning her back against it to prevent Ranpo from coming in. The instant the door closed, Yosano and Atsushi burst into laughter.

He scratches the door like he’s the dog that got shot, desperately scratching at the door to return to safety.

Which is weird, because according to this analogy, Atsushi was the one who shot him. So he should be happy he’s safe! But no, he has to be ungrateful.

It’s almost like Ranpo hears this narration, because he curses me specifically and crosses his arms.

“God, he’s like a spoiled brat whose candy got taken from him.” Yosano stage whispers.

“Well, that’s not too far off. You are withholding sweets from him right now.” Atsushi jokes.

Ranpo finally turns to wave the car in, inciting more raucous laughter from Atsushi and Yosano as he proceeds to wave the car in like a zombie on seroquel.

“He’s like a cartoon character in everything he does!” Yosano kids.

“Right!?!?” Atsushi says in between giggles.

“I hope he never changes as much as I wish he actually worked.” Yosano admits. 

“Me too. I guess you have to put that order in now huh?” Atsushi says, still chuckling a little.

“Yeah, guess so.”

“What’re you getting?” Atsushi asks.

“Eel sushi and akumaki. Do you want a dessert?”

“If they have mooncakes, I’d like that.”

“Done! Ranpo doesn’t get any because he hasn’t done anything else today. How long do you think it’ll take before he realizes he can get in through the other door?”

Atsushi points at Ranpo's face smushed against the glass, glaring at them.

“Till right now.” Atsushi says as Ranpo opens the door and walks in.

“Okay, fuck you.” Ranpo spits. “Where’s my azuki soup?”

“Chill, it’ll get here in only 20 minutes.”

They’re not particularly busy for those 20 minutes, so they start a game of war.

Ranpo accuses them of cheating every time they get a higher number than him, even though he later confesses he could guess what they were going to play, he was just salty he couldn’t do anything about it.

Their food comes, so they abandon the card game much to Ranpo's displeasure (Yosano was winning and he was convinced he could get a lead if they played longer).

Yosano carefully takes out the main dishes, leaving her and Atsushi’s treats in the bag so as to hide them from Ranpo.

That was a mistake.

“Sooo Yosano, why didn’t you just throw away that bag?” Ranpo says with a knowing, shit-eating grin.

“We could use it as a trash bag for later trash.” She instantly plays it off.

“Well, the current trash is without a bag, so why don’t we use it as one right now?” He asks, walking toward the bag.

“No, don’t–” Atsushi calls out, but Yosano stops him.

But, his reaction clearly emboldens Ranpo as his grin stretches wider.

He opens the bag.

“Ah, it seems like someone mistakenly put sweets in this bag!” Ranpo facetiously jests. “Since no one here would’ve ordered themselves sweets without ordering me anything, I guess these are up for grabs!”

God, he is such an asshole. 

“Actually, I would like–” Atsushi starts, but he’s cut off.

“I’m eating the Akutmaki first, surely you won’t mind Yosano? I know it’s your favorite and all, but don’t I deserve it for all my hard work?”

“You waved in one car.” Yosano points out. “Out of 5 hours.”

But Ranpo is already biting into it.

“I respeff yo grit. Her, haf the rest.” He offers, muffled by all the food in his mouth.

Yosano sets it to the side.

“Thank you Ranpo, that means a lot to me.” She says.

“I know how shitty it can be to have someone else eat your food. Next time, just tell me. You know I’m smart enough to figure it out on my own, so why bother? Just openly exclude me.”

“I’m not excluding you, I'm just not rewarding you for mediocrity.”

Ranpo rolls his eyes, but tosses Atsushi his moon pie.

“Here, catch.”

Atsushi barely catches it with the tips of his fingers.

“Thanks.” He responds.

Ranpo wordlessly takes the mochi out of his soup and places it on Yosano’s plate. In response, Yosano quietly gives him some sushi, which Ranpo wrinkles his nose at and puts it back on her plate.

“Eel is icky. All slimy and chewy, I don’t know how you like it.” He says.

“Don’t insult my meal choices when I so gracefully offered you my food!” Yosano admonishes him.

He ignores her.

“Hey Atsushi, can I have some of your chazuke as a reward instead?”

“Get your own, this is mine.” He says.

“Pleaaasseee.” Ranpo begs, and Atsushi honestly wants to share it anyway. It’s really good, and he wants other people to know how good it is, so he puts small portions of it on both Ranpo’s and Yosano’s plates. Yosano gives him a piece of her sushi in response, the same one she gave to Ranpo. It has a bit of red bean soup on it, but Atsushi doesn’t mind. It’s the thought that counts.

He happily eats it and thanks Yosano. He turns to find Ranpo holding up a spoon of his meal to him.

“I don’t like mochi, so you can have some.” He says, face slightly flushed from embarrassment.

Atsushi takes it, and thanks him.

They eat the rest of their meal in comfortable silence.

Ranpo actually stays until the rest of his shift this time, which Yosano says is rare for him.

So Atsushi is sent home rejuvenated, a warm feeling throughout his whole body.

His coworkers aren’t all always assholes.

Chapter Text

On Atsushi’s nineteenth shift, he’s doomed. It’s just him, Ranpo, and Dazai. So basically, Atsushi is alone. 

Rushing between cars to refill the empty towel cart and put 3 loads worth of towels in the wash, do the trash (he found three filled diapers), and pop in to tell the two that there was someone at the pay station. To which Ranpo would ignore him and Dazai would eventually groan, turn off his phone, painstakingly slowly get up, and walk too leisurely for Atsushi’s liking to the pay station. 

It was hell.

So when he finally gets a break in the cars and he sees his chance to sit once Ranpo gets up to get his snacks, he takes it.

“Sorry Ranpo, I need this more than you.” He sighs.

“No you don’t! That’s my chair, I was sitting in it, give it back!”

Atsushi laughs, a tired sound, but he meant it as a joke anyway so he gets up. He’s thankful he even got 1 second to sit down, to be honest.

“Nope. Sit back down. Ranpo has done jack shit, you deserve that chair more than he does.” Dazai says, and the other two turn to him, shocked.

Ranpo crosses his arms, looking away and pouting.

“Fine! After he gets me a sandwich.”

Atsushi lets out a long-suffering exhale as he mentally prepares himself for standing back up after hours of standing and running around so much his feet hurt, but Dazai stops him again.

“I’ll get it. Fedya’s working today.” Dazai offers, and it’s then that Atsushi notices Dazai hasn’t taken his eyes off Atsushi for the majority of this conversation until this moment. Still, he feels like that comment was somehow directed towards him.

“What does that have to do with anything?” Ranpo questions, nose scrunching.

“I miss my boyfriend.” Dazai says, now looking anywhere but Atsushi. 

He stands and only speaks again once he’s at the door.

“Ranpo, a car is at the pay station. If you don’t take it I’m calling Fukuzawa and Poe.” Dazai is already opening the door as he says this.

“Yeah right.” Ranpo mutters.

“I can hear you!” Dazai calls, and the door swings shut behind him.

Ranpo doesn’t get up.

The car sits for another 5 minutes before honking.

Atsushi isn’t trained in sales yet. He doesn’t know what to do.

The car honks again, and his breaths keep getting shallower.

Ranpo doesn’t get up.

The car honks again, and Atsushi can feel the world spinning.

Ranpo doesn’t get up.

The car honks again, and shapes start to distort.

Ranpo doesn’t get up.

Atsushi rises to his feet, barely able to stand because his whole body feels numb. Static in his limbs, in his head, all around him, and it hurts.

The car honks again.

Ranpo doesn’t get up.

Atsushi moves. Stumbles, more like.

The car honks again.

Atsushi is now moving without even fully realizing it. It’s like walking through quicksand, no, water, and it feels like everything is pushing back on him but he Just. Keeps. Moving.

The car honks again.

He feels like he’s crawling out the door on his hands and knees at this point and there's this omnipresent sharpness pulling at him from above. It knows all that he is, all that he's done, all that he will do. It says, You have to do this. You cannot do this. You will fail. You will do this. And he almost wants to thank it, because yes, he is doing this now. 

He feels like the ground is moving, all the little grains on the concrete rushing like rapids underneath his feet, and he knows the moment he stops he’ll sink into it and never come out again.

The car honks again.

The sound rips through his ear drums like a bullet through paper, shredding everything in its path.

He still moves forward another step. Another one. And another one.

And he’s finally at the pay station, and he has no idea what to do. 

“Finally! I was honking for 10 minutes!”

So he just stares dumbly at the customer, unable to speak.

“Are you deaf!?!? 10 minutes! So go ahead and sell me a wash, I need it!”

It’s like water is rising above his ears blocking all sound and he desperately tries to tilt his head to hear, to see, even just to breathe but he’s trapped and–

“Hey! I’ll take care of this, it’s not his job! I’m the one who you’ve been waiting for!” Dazai yells, walking toward them.

Atsushi swears he can feel the gates of heaven open.

He feels a hand on his shoulder.

“I’ll take care of this, okay? You go get yourself some water.”

The contact makes Atsushi feel like he’s drowning, so he shakes his head, yet his ears still feel waterlogged.

“Okay, just stay here with me then. We’ll get this sorted out.”

Dazai goes back inside to do something on the computer, and Atsushi follows him without even realizing. He only notices once Ranpo grabs on his shirt to keep him from following Dazai back outside.

He says something, but Atsushi can’t make it out. Then he leaves, Atsushi doesn’t know for how long, and comes back with water.

The next hour goes by in a blur. 

Dazai won’t let Atsushi work, barring him every time he tries to go into the tunnel. He instead puts a cone in front of the non-member’s lane as he takes the rest of the cars himself.

“Man am I tired.” Dazai says, collapsing in his chair, and Atsushi suddenly snaps back to reality.

“I bet. Why didn’t you let me work?”

Dazai looks away.

“You would’ve been lackluster anyway.” 

“Excuse me?” Atsushi is stunned.

“Ignore him, he’s a tsundere. He didn’t let you work because he cares.”

“Fuck you I am not!” Dazai shrieks, indignant. 

“About what? I’m fine.” Atsushi insists.

“Atsushi. You were very clearly not fine.” Ranpo scolds.

“I am!”

Dazai huffs, “Yeah, I’ll believe that the day you confess your feelings to careless Akutagawa.”

“I don’t have feelings for him!” Atsushi claims.

Yeah, quite the claim there. Very believable.

“Suurreee buddy. Whatever helps you sleep at night.” Ranpo snickers.

Dazai decides to save Atsushi, despite the fact he was the one who brought it up.

“So, the station won’t let them through because it keeps saying the tunnel is full when it isn’t. So until we fix this, we’re going to either have to keep coming back to get it running, or have our third person do it in between towels and trash.” Dazai mutters the next bit, “if they actually worked at all.”

“I heard that!” Ranpo yells.

“And I’ll say it again do your fucking work!”

Ranpo gets a text and immediately checks it.

“What’s that? I can’t hear you over the sound of me leaving with my boyfriend.”

He puts his water away and picks up his bag.

“Oh and your boyfriend wouldn’t mind if I told him you’re using him to leave early? And your father certainly wouldn’t mind either, would he?”

Ranpo sputters.

“Oh, that’s dirty. Unfair! Cheating!” He turns to Atsushi, “Ref, ref, do something!”

“Oh trust me, I can get way dirtier.” Dazai says, wiggling his brows.

“EWWWWWWW.” Ranpo shouts, reaching for Atsushi, who pulls away.

“I’m not your ref; I’m not doing anything.”

Ranpo falls onto Atsushi.

“Betrayed!” He wails, “I’ve been betrayed by my devilish coworkers, they’re banding against me!”

“We’re not banding against anything, we’re just not taking your shit anymore.” Dazai remarks.

Ranpo gasps, holding a hand against his chest.

“I have no shit! I am shitting you not! I am shitless!”

“You’re so full of shit it’s spilling out your sides every time you talk.” Dazai states.

“Whatever!” Ranpo actually gives up! “I’m going to bring my boyfriend here and we’ll be spending the rest of the shift together.”

“Oh please god no.” Atsushi manages to catch himself before he voices that he’d rather him not be here at all than with his boyfriend, who will probably distract him the whole time.

But once the tall man with a black mop of hair on his head is brought in, Atsushi is pleasantly surprised.

“So, what’s your name?” Atsushi asks, breaking the ice.

“Poe.” The man says.

Ranpo pulls Poe onto a seat just to sit on his lap, and the man seems too timid and confused to do much about it. Initially, Atsushi mistook this as enabling.

He was wrong. Because as a car pulled up while Ranpo was busy lewdly sucking on his lollipop and staring at his boyfriend, Poe starts fidgeting.

“Ah–Um. Ranpo. Should you go–”

“Dazai can get it.” Ranpo brushes him off.

“But you– Fukuzawa-sama said–”

“Yeah Ranpo, get the car.” Dazai smirks.

“Has–has he been working?” Poe asks.

Dazai smiles wide.

“Nope!” He says, popping the ‘p’.

Poe looks at Ranpo, emboldened by his new development.

“Ran, honey, you need to work at work, we talked about this.”

“But I don’t wannaaaaa” Ranpo whines.

“No buts, get that car.”

So Ranpo goes to sell to the car, wailing about it the whole way.

“Your boyfriend is a piece of work, Poe, really.” Dazai asserts, shaking his head.

“Yeah, I know. He’s my piece of work though, and the greatest yet.” He tells them.

“Speaking of, how’s your latest novel going?” Dazai inquires.

“Pretty well, thank you for asking. Just figured out why the main character can’t confess his feelings!”

“Why not?” Atsushi asks.

“He thinks his father wouldn’t approve. His father is an evil, evil man who treated him very terribly, but he still looks up to him. So he thinks anything that could cause him happiness is a sin.”

“Remind me where this is a mystery novel again?” Dazai jokes.

“Well, why did he die?” Poe explains, but it simply leaves more questions.

“Wait wait wait, the main character dies?” Atsushi queries, shocked.

“Yes, he dies! It starts at the scene of his death then goes back to months before he died, slowly revealing little details of why his father killed him.” Poe's mouth goes agape as he reveals the last part, and he covers it like he didn’t mean to share that much.

“Aaaahh so I was right!” Dazai says, pleased.

“Please forget I said that!” Poe says, distressed.

“Don’t worry, I’ll keep it a secret. Can I read over it sometime?” Atsushi queries.

“Absolutely yes, I need more feedback!” Poe responds.

“Hey, why don’t you ask me for feedback?” Ranpo says as he walks back in.

Dazai leaves to wave the car through the tunnel.

“Because I have, and every time you tell me it’s too obvious, so I run back to my editor with a new version, and she tells me it’s not obvious enough!” Poe huffs.

Ranpo just laughs.

“That’s just because she’s stupid.”

Poe gasps.

“She is not stupid! You’re just stupid smart!” He retorts.

“Not my fault everyone else is dumb.” Ranpo says, smirking.

“Why–”

“Okay, okay, break it up lovebirds.” Dazai mock gags, “I still gotta eat dinner tonight.”

“We both know you’re going to doomscroll and forget, Dazai, don’t even pretend otherwise.” Ranpo jokes.

“At least I’m not eating myself into a sugar coma!” Dazai repostes.

“Can you two go 3 seconds without arguing?” Atsushi asks.

“We just spent a whole 6 hours in silence.” Dazai and Ranpo speak in unison.

Atsushi rolls his eyes.

“Not my point.” Atsushi turns to Poe. “So, that transcript, could I get your number so I can look at it?” And so I can alert you if your boyfriend is slacking off, Atsushi leaves unsaid.

They exchange contact information, and the rest of the shift is rather uneventful.

Dazai gives Atsushi a sandwich at the end and makes a snarky comment about ‘tolerating Akutagawa must be tiring’, but Atsushi tries to appreciate the gift for what it is.

He goes home with a full stomach.

Chapter Text

On Atsushi’s twentieth shift, he arrives to Yosano, Kyouka, Kenji, and Dazai.

Kyouka doesn’t seem too happy.

“Yo-san, I see a car outside, do you think you could attend to that?” Atsushi asks.

She nods, and Dazai, catching on to why Atsushi asked her to leave, offers to show Kenji how to work the tunnel.

“Thanks mister, but Kunikida already–” But he’s cut off by Dazai grabbing his arm and dragging him out of the room to the tunnel.

“So, what’s up?” He asks Kyouka, “Why were you so hurt that Yosano didn’t want to adopt you?”

Kyouka pauses, thinking.

“I think somewhere, deep down, I was hoping to be close to Kouyou again. She never directly said she’d adopt me, so sometimes I feel like I have no right to be mad. But she did say she’d be happy to have a child like me.”

“That sounds a lot like letting you think she’d adopt you to me.” Atsushi says.

“Maybe.”

She stops again, fidgeting with her obi. She always wears traditional clothes, despite her age and the time of year.

“Do you think she’s scared of me? Because I murdered my parents?” She murmurs so quietly that Atsushi can hardly hear her.

He pulls her into a hug and rubs the back of her head.

“Oh, sweetheart, no, I don’t think so.” He pauses, deliberating whether he should ask her the next question.

“Why do you say you murdered your parents?” He questions.

Kyouka pauses.

Her parents both had jobs that required a lot of time, so she was used to being alone, even as a young child. 

She honestly saw her aunt more than she saw her actual parents, because her aunt worried for her sister and often came by their neighborhood to take care of her and her child.

She cared for Kyouka, but it was clear she felt resentment towards her. Her parents were working their lives away just to support her, and she clearly blamed Kyouka for it. 

Which was okay with Kyouka, she blamed herself.

The reason her parents had to work such long hours wasn’t just the nature of their work. It was also because she was often sick. 

She had asthma so bad she needed an expensive nebulizer and multiple hospital visits after her parents would come home to her not breathing or coughing so hard she vomited blood. 

Their municipality, unlike many in Japan, did not completely cover medical care for children. So, her parents had to pay out of pocket, which given they both worked blue collar jobs, was very difficult.

Her mother one day collapsed and died at work, having spent the majority of 11 days up and working at her job.

Her father was so distraught that he hung himself the next day.

JSS wanted her aunt to take care of her. Her aunt was having none of it.

“That child is a curse!” She spat, “I refuse to care for that brat a moment longer! She killed my poor sister with her expenses!”

The memory saddens Kyouka, so she buries her head deeper into Atsushi’s chest.

“I know Kouyou. I know she wouldn’t give me away just to pay for the Akutagawa’s colleges. So what if it’s because she’s scared of me?” She asks again.

“Kyouka, it’s not that, I can promise you. No one blames you for their death. No one aside from you and your asshole aunt.”

He pulls out of their embrace to squat to her level.

“And if not, I’ll mess up anyone who blames you.” He says, dead serious.

“That includes me.” Kyouka says weakly, a smile in only her voice.

“Yeah it does. I’ll mess you up for daring to think my sister would do something like that.” He didn’t mean to call her that, so he freezes, tense once the word slips past his lips.

But Kyouka’s face blossoms into a real, full grin, so he knows it’s not a mistake.

“So Ryu is my brother-in-law now? Since you two are getting married?” She teases.

Atsushi flushes.

“Shut up, we will not be getting married.”

“Wow, I thought that sentence was going elsewhere for a second. Glad to see you’re still an idiot.” Dazai calls from behind him, walking in the room.

“All he’d do is hurt you.” He finishes off with a smirk.

Yosano is somehow already there.

“How long have you two been here? I didn’t notice either of you coming in here.”

Yosano shrugs.

“Not long. I just had to come in to empty the wash, despite there being no cars in there. And it seemed like the conversation was almost over, so I let myself in.”

“Dazai, who do you think–” But Atsushi’s cut off by loud, obnoxious trap metal playing from a familiar car pulling up.

It’s a brown BMW. It’s Tachihara.

The red head bursts out of his car and rushes into the office.

“So, Dazai! How’s the job at the automobile destroyer agency going!” He belts out.

“Pretty good, actually.” Dazai responds mildly.

Tachihara looks almost hurt hearing this.

“...really? Nothing going wrong?” He says, disappointed.

“Well, we keep having to come back to empty the wash,” Tachihara lights up hearing Dazai reveal this, “But that’s not really that big of a deal, since we’re not super busy.”

Tachihara has deflated again.

“Oh…” he responds, dejected.

Kyouka and Yosano are clearly holding back a giggle.

“Let me guess, you messed with the computer system?” Atsushi asks, raising an unimpressed brow.

“...yes…” Tachihara admits.

Kyouka hides a snicker.

“I thought I told Akutagawa to call you guys off.” Atsushi muses.

“All he said was to stop bothering you. He never said anything about bothering everyone else.” Tachihara proudly announces.

“It’s alright Atsushi, it’s kind of funny to see them try and fail to sabotage me.”

“Well it’s annoying that the rest of us have to deal with it, too. Have Akutagawa call them off.” Yosano firmly suggests.

“Will do, Yo-san!” Atsushi salutes, and gets to typing.

Kyouka walks up to Tachihara and tugs on his sleeve.

“Mister, why are you bothering my friends?” She asks, purposefully giving him doe-eyes.

“...um–”

“Pwease stop…you’re hurting our fewings.” She baby-talks, cringing internally at herself.

“I–Um…” Tachihara scratches the back of his head nervously, then continues, “I’ll stop.”

“Thank you mister!” Kyouka says, beaming.

The rest of the room watches slack-jawed in shock as she skips back to Atsushi and holds his hand.

She probably just single-handedly fixed all of their problems by weaponized cuteness.

Atsushi leans down to whisper in her ear, “Good job.”

Kyouka laughs. 

“That idiot bought the innocent girl act so easily!”

It seems they thought they were carefree prematurely, because Tachihara hears that.

“You know what, fuck you!” Tachihara starts and Atsushi covers Kyouka’s ears, appalled, “I’m not dumb enough to listen to a little girl giving me puppy-dog eyes! I’ll keep sabotaging the wash no matter what Akutagawa says! So you better come back Dazai, because that’s the only reason I’ll ever stop.” He declares.

“You just cursed at a child and are petty enough to think breaking little things at Dazai’s work will somehow make him want to come back to you! You are the worst kind of person. I have no idea how Akutagawa is friends with someone like you.” Atsushi spits venomously.

Tachihara looks genuinely hurt.

“I’m a good friend.” He defends.

“I’ll tell Akutagawa what you did today and we’ll let him be the judge of that.” Atsushi threatens.

“Screw you!” He shouts before slamming the door behind him in a huff.

“Wow. I can’t believe that is a grown-ass man.” Yosano says, shaking her head.

“Me neither.” Atsushi and Kyouka speak in unison.

Chapter Text

On Atsushi’s twenty-first shift, he arrives to Kunikida pulling out his hair, pacing in front of the door.

“You good? Why haven’t you started to open?” Atsushi asks.

“We keep the key in a lock box next to the door–” Kunikida points, and Atsushi sees a tiny, open box on the wall that he hasn’t noticed before, “but when I came in today it was open and the key was missing! I have no way to get inside and open the wash! We won’t be able to open today! We’re so off schedule I don’t know what to do–” Atsushi interrupts Kunikida.

“Kunikida-san, calm down. We just have to call a locksmith and we’ll open a little late, no biggie.”

“Yes but it’d still be late! What am I supposed to do during that time? My schedule left no room for this! And what of the customers? What if–” Atsushi cuts off Kunikida’s distress again.

Atsushi places his hands on Kunikida’s shoulders, forcibly stopping his pacing and making him make eye contact with him.

“You can make use of this time to do homework, and the customers can wait. Okay?”

“No, no, it’ll be all wrong, all wrong!” Kunikida says, yanking himself out of Atsushi’s grip and throwing his hands in the air.

“I can’t start homework until I open. That’s how it’s written in my schedule. There is no reason for me to deviate from the schedule, but I am, and that’s unforgivable.” Kunikida mutters, pulling his hair again, gaze downcast.

“Kunikida, chill. There is plenty reason, we’re locked out. I’m going to call a locksmith–”

“There’s no need for that.” A voice behind them says.

Atsushi turns. 

It’s Dazai, thank the lord. He can calm his boyfriend down.

“I always wear bobby pins so I can lock-pick if needed.” Dazai explains.

“Where were you?!!?” Kunikida yells, “You were supposed to be here 5 minutes ago!”

“Doppo.” This time, Dazai is the one holding Kunikida in place, to which he visibly relaxes. 

“I need you to breathe for me. In for three, out for four. Okay?”

Dazai starts counting his breaths, and Kunikida is soon to follow.

“The world will not end if you deviate from your schedule. Nothing bad will happen to you, nothing bad will happen to anybody else, nothing bad will happen period.”

“But–”

“No buts. Life goes on. Minor setbacks are inevitable and you can always recover from them. Okay?” Dazai tilts Kunikida's head up with one hand and makes meaningful eye contact. 

“Okay?” Dazai repeats.

“...Okay.” Kunikida agrees.

Dazai takes a pin out of his hair and begins bending it.

“...I’m sorry.” Kunikida states.

“For what?” Dazai hums, now sticking the bobby pin into the lock.

“I shouldn’t have yelled at you. 5 minutes is pretty good for you, and I shouldn’t be yelling at you to begin with. I don’t want to be the kind of person who yells at their partner out of anger.” Kunikida tells Dazai.

“You were yelling out of frustration and anxiety. And even if you did, it’s okay to mess up sometimes. I know how you get with schedules, and I should be making more of an effort to be on time anyway so you don’t have to stress so much.” Dazai admits.

“It’s okay, I know you struggle with time management.” Kunikida continues, “And it doesn’t bother me as much when it doesn’t directly affect my schedule.”

The door clicks, and Dazai pushes it open.

“Done.” Dazai declares, holding the door open with his foot and placing his hands on his hips.

“Thank you.” Atsushi and Kunikida speak in unison, and they walk inside.

Dazai immediately flops down into a chair.

“Urrrgghhh I’m never going to let Fuku-san schedule me for an 8 am ever again!” He groans, “I let Fedya keep me up, gonna go chew him out at 2 when he starts his shift.”

“I know I can’t stop you, since I’ll be gone by then, but please do not go to Angel’s and allow yourself to be distracted by him.” Kunikida scolds.

“Yeah, yeah, you won’t have to know about it.” Dazai yields.

“Good.” Kunikida says with a nod, and starts the opening process.

Atsushi and Dazai are both clueless on how to help aside from opening the doors to the wash, removing the cones to the membership and retail lanes, and putting away the vacuums, but they help where they can.

“So, who do you think took the key?” Atsushi asks Dazai.

Dazai leans in to murmur in Atsushi’s ear, “Fyodor. Tachihara is too dumb to figure out the lock code, and the box was completely intact, so it’s clear no brute force was used. Also, he knew I was working today, and kept me up so I’d arrive late. Hoping he didn’t know Kunikida would be here, because he does know opening late would be very triggering for him. I’ll have to ask him when he starts his shift today.”

“Why are we whispering?” Atsushi quietly voices.

“I don’t want to cause any more animosity between my boyfriends. Chuuya already doesn’t like Fyodor, I don’t need Kunikida disliking him too.” Dazai responds under his breath.

“Honestly, I don’t understand what you see in him. He’s creepy.” Atsushi mutters.

“He’s attractive and very intelligent. I like talking to someone on my level in terms of knowledge and cognition.” Dazai reveals.

“I guess that makes sense.” Atsushi acknowledges, “Somehow you two were able to play chess verbally, so you both must be very smart.”

“Yes, I got assessed for ADHD through the Wechsler intelligence test. Came to learn I have an intelligence score of 160 and ADHD.” Dazai says.

“No way, you’re lying. 160 is the highest score you can get on the Wechsler test.” Atsushi accuses.

“Hand to God, I’m not. I think Fedya has the same score as me too.” Dazai swears.

“If you’re so smart, then you’d know better than to ignore Chuuya the way you did.” Atsushi retorts.

“I only avoided him because the anniversary of a particular…happening, occurred and being around anyone from Port Motors felt…painful.” Dazai responds.

“Can I ask what happened?” Atsushi queries.

“You already did, doesn’t mean I’ll answer.” Dazai replies playfully.

“Can you at least tell me if it has anything to do with why you hate Akutagawa?”

“It contributed to that but no, I hated Akutagawa long beforehand.”

“You still haven’t told me anything. I really want to know because I care about you, Dazai, and I want to understand why you hurt.” Kunikida interjects.

“Well, here’s the explanation Atsushi can hear: I hurt because no one at Port Motors gives a fuck about what’s important.” Dazai huffs.

“I figured as much. Will you tell me later though?” Kunikida asks.

“Maybe one day.” Dazai evades.

The rest of the shift goes peacefully.

At 2 pm on the dot, Dazai chews out Fyodor. Tanizaki arrived at 1.

Before Atsushi leaves at 4, Tanizaki catches him by the shoulder.

“I wanna make it up to you. Let’s go to a party, this time I’ll take care of you?” Tanizaki offers.

Atsushi feels guilty for making Tanizaki feel guilty, so he decides to agree. But before he can–

“Only if I get to come!” Dazai trills from his seat, “Oh, and bring my boyfriends! Kunikida and Chuuya are so funny while drunk, but Chuuya might be working his mystery job then so I don’t know.”

“The invitation was for–”

“It’s fine, Tanizaki. As long as you’re fine with him coming?”

Tanizaki curses under his breath, “I guess, not like I’ll have to spend the whole party with him.”

He raises his voice so Dazai can hear. 

“Deal, but I’m ditching you the second we get in the door, capiche?”

“Fine with me, just make sure Atsushi doesn’t vomit this time.” Dazai jokes.

“That was one time!” Atsushi protests.

“Yeah well, don’t make it a habit.” Tanizaki says, a twinkle in his eye, “And this time, I’ll check in on you to make sure you don’t drink yourself to death.”

“You don’t have to, you were never obligate–”

“I want to. It wasn’t fair of me to leave you alone for so long at a party I invited you to.” Tanizaki cuts in.

“I guess." Atsushi doesn't agree. "Well, I gotta go. See y’all.” Atsushi waves as he leaves, and the rest wave back.

This time, he thinks he’s actually ready for the party.

Boy how wrong he was.

Chapter Text

Tanizaki drives him to the party again, with Dazai and Kunikida in tow.

As they pull up to the driveway of the house, the same frat, Tanizaki speaks.

“Again, Atsushi, I’ll make sure–” Tanizaki starts, but Atsushi is finally sick of it, so he cuts him off.

“Dude, stop. I don’t need you babying me. How much I drink is my responsibility. Not yours. I’m sick of all of you treating me like a child that needs protection.”

Tanizaki looks startled. 

“When have we done that?” 

“You and Yo-san insisting I need a babysitter at parties, Dazai refusing to let me work and kicking Ranpo out of his chair for me, I could go on. I’m the one who decides if I’m okay or not, nobody else.” 

“But we’re just trying to—“ 

“I appreciate the desire to help, but I’m an adult. I’m in control of myself and my life.”

That shuts Tanizaki up.

“We’re sorry.” Dazai says, and Tanizaki nods.

“Well, now that that’s out of the way, let's start on this party.” Atsushi says, climbing out of the car.

The rest follow, and when Tanizaki tries to stick with Atsushi to the drinks, Atsushi brushes him off.

“What did I say about babying me?”

Tanizaki looks away guiltily.

“To not to.”

“And what are you doing?”

“Babying you.”

“That’s right. So please, go elsewhere and stop following me. You can find me to check in later on in the party, okay?” Atsushi compromises.

A song starts playing, and Atsushi recognizes the voice as ISSBROKIE, but not which song it is.

“Hey, what song is this?” He asks one of the frat boys.

“Terrible from ISSBROKIE’s new album, Swaggot.”

Huh. Interesting name.

Atsushi must’ve said that out loud because the frat boy responds, “I know right? I love her so much.”

“You should talk with my friend, Lucy. She loves ISSBROKIE.” Atsushi offers the frat boy her number, only realizing after that he should’ve asked.

Oh well. She’ll love having another person to yap about ISSBROKIE with.

Atsushi pours himself some of their mystery punch and hopes to God it isn’t too alcoholic.

And across the room, he sees Akutagawa talking to a girl with blond hair.

He’s worried about intruding, but then Akutagawa spots him, says something to the girl, and rushes over.

—-

“Higuchi! I didn’t know you would be here.” Akutagawa says and internally groans.

She’s been flirting with him for months. He knows she’s hoping he’ll ask her out, but he has little to no interest in her.

“Of course I’d be here! I love grinding on pretty men.” She jokes, batting her eyelashes at him.

“Would you like to dance with me?” 

Akutagawa is almost relieved she finally made a move so he can properly reject her. But before he can, he sees Atsushi, and his heart does a little leap.

“Excuse me a moment, I see my boyfriend.” He says on instinct. 

He has no idea why he called Atsushi his boyfriend, and blanches at how natural it feels and how much he likes ‘boyfriend’ and ‘Atsushi’ rolling off his tongue in the same sentence. It gets the job done though. It’s a subtle rejection that gets him out of this godforsaken conversation, so he’ll take it. 

She looks a little dejected before saying, “Alright! I’ll let you talk to him then. Have fun!”

Akutagawa speed-walks to Atsushi.

“Hey jinko, back to vomit again so soon?” He teases.

“Ha-ha, very funny.” Atsushi states dryly, “I’ll keep myself in check this time.”

Someone pushes Akutagawa towards Atsushi to get past, and Akutagawa is full body pressed into Atsushi.

If the area wasn’t so crowded, they would’ve fallen onto the floor, but instead they end up accidentally leaning against someone else in the party.

“Hey, watch it!” The person yelps, but the two can barely hear them, all their focus zeroed in on the feeling of each other's warmth touching every part of each other's body.

They can clearly feel the other’s build, and it’s terrifyingly intimate. Both of their stomachs are filled with butterflies and twisting with heat.

Finally, Atsushi reluctantly pulls away. These feelings are scaring him.

“Hey, wanna get out of somewhere this crowded?” Akutagawa asks.

“That sounds nice, let's.”

They head upstairs and hear voices from one of the rooms.

“God, what are we, middle schoolers?” 

I know right? Spin the bottle is such a childish game.”

“But it’s fun though!”

“Never said it wasn’t.”

Since the door is open, the soon to be players notice them.

“Hey, do y’all wanna join? The more the merrier!” A girl with pink hair asks.

Akutagawa and Atsushi look at each other and shrug.

“Why not?” Akutagawa answers for both of them.

“I’m Yuan.” The pink haired girl introduces herself, the others following suit.

“I’m Shirase.” The grey haired boy speaks up.

“I’m Verlaine.” Says the blond haired man.

“And I’m his…friend, Rimbaud.” The long black haired man adds.

“I’m Akutagawa, but most people call me ‘Gawa.” He gestures to Atsushi.

“And this is jinko.”

“Jinko? That’s an odd name.” Shirase comments, nose wrinkling.

“It’s not my actual name, he just calls me that to tease me. My real name is Atsushi.”

“Alright ‘Gawa, Atsushi. Let’s play.”

“Oou, oou! Let’s do a mix of spin the bottle and 7 minutes in heaven.” Yuan suggests.

“Alright then, anyone have a bottle?”

Atsushi downs the rest of his punch, and he already starts to feel dizzy. Consuming alcohol so quickly might not’ve been the best idea.

“We could use this?” He offers.

“Perfect!” Yuan beams.

The first two to kiss are Shirase and Yuan, and Yuan goes as pink as her hair.

“What’s the matter Yu, you got a crush on me or something?” Shirase jabs.

“Absolutely not! I would never like a brute like you!” She protests.

“Oh really? Then why are you–”

Yuan shuts him up with a kiss, and drags him into the closet.

Rimbaud starts the timer, and when the time is up and Verlaine knocks on the door, the two of them are equally flushed.

“Well, that was…something.” Yuan says, brushing imaginary dust off her thighs and torso.

There are some marks on her neck that look like they’d become hickeys.

They spin the cup again…

And this time, it lands on Verlaine and…Akutagawa.

Atsushi's stomach ties into knots.