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Valentine’s day was without a doubt Baku’s least favorite holiday, or festivity, or whatever the fuck it was. He knows that usually, this comes as a shock to most people. Of course, because Baku is seen as fun and friendly and romantic, so most people assume that he would like the day. That just like the thousands of other overly romantic people, he would be going around celebrating and looking at the beauty if love or whatever the fuck people liked about today.
But he despises the day.
Everything about it. The decoration, the dumb couples going around, the confession
It was the only thing on his mind as he walked back to his and Baekjin's apartment.
He knows he sounds bitter, and like one of those annoyingly single people that hate the day simply because they are alone and desperately don't want to be so. And, in part his hatred of the day does come from bitterness. Just not bitterness from being single, at least not exactly. He would not necessarily mind being single, sure not his first choice, but he doesn't mind it. No, hate of the day comes from the fact that Baekjin, Baku’s best friend, gets dozens and dozens of confessions ranging from notes slipped into his locker to big elaborate— public gestures with signs and flowers and hall stopping date proposals.
As if people didn’t understand that his Baekjin does not like those types of displays.
That he hates having to constantly reject people so publicly, hates being put on the spot like that by people he doesn’t even know. People who for the most part, also don't know him outside of his looks and class rank.
So naturally, every year, with the dozens of confessions his best friend gets, Baekjin has to let all of them down. You would think that at some point people would start to learn not to confess after so long. It's not even like Baekjin is nice about it. As a matter of fact Bakekjin has always been fairly rude to the people who confess to him.
Although maybe rude is not the best word. Cold is probably what he should use. Yeah, Baekjin was generally cold to the people that confessed. Rarely giving anything but a glance and a side ways stare before leaving.
Any time one of their friends asked him about why he was so cold he always just answered that he wasn't interested. Responding with a soft, “I’m not trying to be mean, I just don’t care about them.” Baku would be lying if he said that he didn't love the respond just a little bit.
It makes something in his chest bloom with happiness at the knowledge that Baekjin doesn't care about that, that aside from discomfort, he had no other emotion usually. But, much as Baku loves the way Baekjin responds to his confessions, he still hates them.
He hates seeing so many people trip and fawn over Baekjin like he would ever look at them with half the intensity he looks at Baku. He hates the way they steal his attention even if it's just for a moment. Honestly, if it wasn't for that he wouldn't even mind the day, or the fact that he is painfully single every year. What bothers him is that it happens every fucking year like clockwork, and every year Baku has to stand witness to it and pretend like everything is fine. Like the idea of all those people fawning over his best friend, doesn't make his blood boil.
When this first started happening, around the time they entered high school, Baku thought his anger stemmed from jealousy. Not at the people confessing but at his best friend for receiving those confessions. He truly had believed that maybe, his hatred for the confessions were directed at his best friend. For a while it was something that made him feel horribly guilty. Because he loved Baekjin, he always has, but at the time he thought it was just a friendly love.
Something born from all of the time they had spent together. From all of the games they had played, from all of the laughs they had shared. He should have known that the constricting feeling in his chest that he gets every time he sees Baekjin, had nothing to do with friendship and care but everything to do with the fact that he loves him.
But at the time Baku thought he was just jealous because he rarely ever got confessions. So for a long time he felt guilty about his feelings, guilty at being upset with his best friend, guilty about being mad over something Baekjin couldn’t control.
Something that they both knew made the other boy uncomfortable.
But, as the time passed he began to realize that his dislike for the amount of confessions had nothing to do with his own lack of admirers, and everything to do with the fact that so many people —aside from him— were showing so much interest in Baekjin.
Baku began to notice the way people's eyes would linger on his best friend. The way girls and boys would laugh a little too loud at his jokes and use it as an excuse to touch him.
He noticed
and noticed
and noticed
Somewhere, between all the observations he had of people throwing themselves at Baekjin, and the anger he felt from it. Baku —finally— noticed that his anger, his jealousy, was not directed at his best friend, but at everyone around them.
Because who did they think they were?
What right did they think they had to ask for so much of Baekjin's attention, without even knowing him?
It was infuriating, and he knew it showed in his attitude. But try as he might, he just couldn’t help but to be bitter around these days.
Baku knew that Baekjin could tell that he dislikes the day, they never talked about it much but he knew. He saw the way his best friend would tense and send him a look when he got a confession, the way his eyes anxiously shifted when they were in high school and he would open his locker and cards would come flying out.
Now that they are adults things have gotten significantly worse.
Before, people would leave little notes, or go up to him and shyly confess. Sure those were annoying, but they weren't horrible. Especially when he knew Baekjin didn't reciprocate their feelings. For the most part he could ignore them as shy teenage crushes that by now most of them have probably forgotten. But, now instead of the shy blushing and stuttering confessions he used to get, he gets people shamelessly throwing themselves at him and asking for his number and pestering him, even after he says no.
And yeah, Baku hated those confessions. Hates the way they made Baekjin uncomfortable. Hates the way that despite his cold exterior his best friend was still so clearly bothered. Not noticeably so but a small shift in his legs, the way his hands would tense, and the look in his eyes let Baku know that he was uncomfortable.
Perhaps not as bad and also equally as bad as those confessions where the ones he could tell actually piqued his interest. When his demeanor changed from being uninterested into something pleased. The way his eyes would shift over with mild interest, his gaze falling over the person in front of him, attention momentarily stolen from its rightful owner.
Especially because he knew, he knew, his best friend was pretty. Had spent their entire life knowing that. It was just a universal truth.
The sky is blue, the grass is green, the earth is round, and Na Baekjin is so— unbelievablybeautiful. It was only a matter of tome before other people started to catch onto a fact that Baku had always known.
That didn’t make it any less irritating.
Just like it didn’t make Baku any less jealous.
So, Baku is prepared to get to their apartment and see dozens of arrangements that people sent to Baekjin, along with chocolates and who knows what else. It's infuriating, but he's prepared, hopefully…
What he is not prepared for, is get home and find the dining table decorated and his Baekjin standing nervously next to it.
Immediately his mind begins to race.
What if Baekjin is confessing to someone, in our apartment?? Why would he tell me ? Surely he would have told me if he had feelings for someone? And wouldn’t he tell me if he wanted to confess? He would have asked for my help? Thank god he didn’t ask for my help.
But the only thing that comes out is.
“Are you expecting company?” Baku asks, voice cautious.
Baekjin looks at him, expression turning from anxious to annoyed faster than he can properly process. “Well… yeah… you, you idiot,” Baekjin says, rolling his eyes despite the small pout beginning to for on his lips.
The words catch Baku completely of guard . He feels like the floor under him is tilting, the air in his lungs stutters making his chest hurt almost painfully. This was the last possibility on Baku’s mind, the idea that Baekjin would feel the same. Sure he had thought about it before. Stupid, pointless fantasies about them dating, about finally being with Baekjin the way he was wanted to for so painfully long. But, he had never really deluded himself enough to believe it would be real.
He knows Baekjin loves him. That much has always been clear to him. There's no one Baekjin treats or looks at in the same way. And, he knows that he is the most important person to Baekjin, his best friend has always made that crystal clear. But, importance and platonic love are not the same as the feelings Baku carries for his best friend.
So he has never wanted to actually believe that any other their interactions, that any of the times where he and Baekjin stood too close, any of the times where they looked at each other gaze a little too telling, had meant the same for Baekjin.
Baku knows that he could live the rest of his life happily if he was side by side with Baekjin, regardless of how that might look. For him, despite the romantic feelings he holds, he also appreciates their friendship too much to ever do anything to ruin it. So ultimately it has never mattered in what way he gets to keep Baekjin, just as long as he gets to keep him. Baku had long since accepted his fate of silently loving his best friend
The idea that he may get something more than that makes him feel dizzy with unrestrained happiness.
“You did this for me?” Baku says softly, still too shocked at the display and the new found information. He feels a little stupid hearing himself sound so amazed at the possibility of Baekjin reciprocating his feelings. “You have feelings for me?”
Baekjin rolls his eyes, “Oh you know, only since we met” he says.
“You didn’t say anything,” Baku says, the words coming out surprised. He couldn’t believe this was happening, was half convinced that he had gotten ran over on his walk to uni and was now in a very elaborate bad place, where they got a demon to look like Baekjin to confess and then crush his dreams and—
Baekjin scowls. “Well neither did you,” his voice came out a little annoyed.
Anyone else who was in his place might be put off by his body language. By the way he rolls his eyes and glances off. By the tick in his shoulder as he tries to hold himself down from moving. By the small scowl that takes over his lips. But, not Baku. Baku who has spent the majority of his formative years learning the way that Baekjin moves and functions.
Baku who has seen him clear with discomfort, who has witnessed his anger and distress aimed at others. To him, it's clear that Baekjin isn't moving because he is uncomfortable with the situation, but because he is nervous about Baku’s response.
Most people wouldn't imagine so, but Baekjin has a tendency to get anxious or overthink his decisions. It comes as a surprise to most. For the most part he gets it. As beautiful as Baekjin is, he's also cold. His demeanor is not typically approachable outside of deluded confessions.
His sharp eyes, his icy gaze, the way his lips always seemed downturned in disgust. They aren't traits that people would typically associate with a person who has a tendency to be insecure. But, Baku knew the truth. He had spent years committing Baekjin’s traits to his memory. If asked to he could map out every line, every curve of his face, and immediately know what emotion the other boy was feeling.
At this point deciphering Na Baekjin was second nature to him. Although clearly not well enough if he couldn't figure this out sooner. A part of him wants to be upset about it. Sulk a little at the knowledge that he doesn't know every part of his best friend as well as he thought he did. A voice in the back of his mind snapped him out of that thought by reminding him that he has the rest of his life to figure out all the quirks and tells that Baekjin has.
“I thought it was obvious,” and he did, Baku had been sure that his feelings had gone unquestioned for so long because his best friend didn’t feel the same way. “My feelings I mean, I thought… I thought you knew. Baku has never been the subtle type. Especially not when it came to feelings. So he had always been more than positive that Baekjin knew, and just chose to not say anything out of kindness.
“It was…” Baekjin says, a small smile beginning to form. “That's why I wasn’t too nervous to do this,” he says, glancing down for a second before looking at Baku again.
Baku laughs a little, “Too nervous?”
He knows he’s pushing, teasing Baekjin a little too much, especially when he knew how easy it was for his best friend to get upset when it came to talking about his feelings. Always so emotionally constipated, his Baekjin. Although, given his track record, he might not be that much better either.
“Well yeah,” Baekjin says. Voice soft and low. Even when frustrated he was never the type to scream. “It’s still nerve wrecking you ass, god i didn’t even know why i did it, your just standing there.” His voice is so sulky, the words coming out with clear irritation. A tick in his hand, a movement in his leg. Baku knows that Baekjin is not too far off from walking out.
And of course he can't let that happen so easily, right?
Baku laughs, loud and obnoxious, “No wait! Wait!” he says, finally closing the distance between them and reaching out to grab Baekjin’s hand. “I like it! It’s cute,” he tries to make his voice sound more serious, tries to hide the giggles still spilling from his lips. “Really I love this.”
Baekjin lifts an eyebrow, eyes set to the side, “Yeah well i don’t care.” Not that it matters because Baku can still see the flush rapidly growing on his face.
“Oh? But you wouldn’t have been nervous if you didn’t care,” Baku says, because of course he has never learned when to just be quiet. “Huh? hmm? and why would you be so red?”
The reaction is instantaneous.
Baekjin pulls his hand away now fully red in the face. Baku wonders if it’s from anger, annoyance, or embarrassment. He’s willing to bet it’s all three.
“Just ugh! Just” Baekjin stutters out. “ Just shut up! God, your so stupid ,” he finally gets out, and maybe it’s supposed to come out angry or annoyed but he just sounds petulant. Like when they were younger and Baekjin got scolded over it. He would immediately get pouty and upset so easily. It's a fact that Baku loves to hold over the others head whenever anyone mentions how composed he seems. “I can’t believe I love you”.
Baku reaches back out to him, once again taking his hand, “You love me?” it comes out soft. And in any other situation, Baku would be terrified of just how much emotion was present in his voice.
Baekjin turns back around.
“Sorry! Sorry!” Baku breathes out, giddy. “I do too, I love you. I can’t remember a time when I didn’t love you, I don't think there ever was honestly,” the last bit comes out timid, as if, despite them both having confessed, he is still waiting for Baekjin to back out. To realize what he said and decide that it's not actually what he wants.
But the confession does what it intended. Baekjin finally stops trying to walk back to his room and instead turns around to look at Baku, his eyes soft.
“Yeah?” Baekjin breathes out.
“Oh you know, only since we were kids,” Baku teases.
“Ugh you’re insufferable,” but despite the words there’s a smile forming on Baekjin's lips.
Baku chuckles, “Well isn’t there something you wanted to ask?” He’s pushing again, he knows it, but it’s so hard not to when Baekjin is so responsive.
“This isn’t enough?” Baekjin says, looking down embarrassed.
Baku laughs again, “Well you did do this elaborate gesture, shouldn't you still ask?” he says, moving his hands to hold Baekjin's waist.
Baekjin’s shoulders sag and he immediately melts into Baku's touch, bringing his arms around Baku’s shoulders, not really holding, or pushing or doing anything… just resting.
“Fine, I guess I've liked you for a long time…” Baekjin mutters, a flush high on his cheeks, cute, “Do you want to be my boyfriend?” If it weren't for their proximity Baku would not have heard the words. But, given how close the are, the way he feel the small puffs of air that leave Baekjin’s lips, he hears them loud, clear. Almost like a ringing in his ear.
“Aww, come on Jin-ah you can do better than that!” Baku says, a little too loud for the moment.
“You are so…” Baekjin says, a pause between his words as he lays his head between Baku’s shoulders. “Ugh, just so annoying.” But his head is still resting on Baku’s shoulder. A smile shyly pressed to his neck.
Baku twists his head down to try and see Baekjin's face, “Aww you say that but look at that cute little blush,” his hand reaches out to Baekjin’s face, trying to get the other boy to look at him. “Come on, look at me baby”
“Stop,” Baekjin whispers, “God, I hate you,” and despite the way he tries to wiggle out of Baku's arms, it's painfully present in his tone that he doesn't actually believe that.
Baku just warps his arms around Baekjin's waist holding him tighter, almost like he's trying to merge their body into one. As if the mere idea of Baekjin escaping his hold is terrible, and as dramatic as it sounds, to Baku it is. “Nuh uh, you love me!! You want to be my boyfriend so bad.” Baku says, leaning up and pressing his forehead against Baekjin’s.
“I guess…” Baekjin whispers “Don’t make me say it again.”
“Mhm, fine but only because I think you're cute.”
After that they spend the rest of the day together, they eat the food Baekjin prepared for them, pretend to watch the movies that they had picked a couple nights before. At the time Baekjin had told him that it was in preparation for their next movie night. That since he was no longer as busy with school they could once again go back to doing their weekly routine.
The movies were good or at least he thinks they were. Really he hadn't paid much attention after the first ten minutes of the first movie. His eyes wandering over to Baekjin every couple of minutes before his hands followed his thoughts.
So all in all he would say it was a very productive movie night. Between the whispered ‘I love you’s’ and the wandering touches, he had not had a better… well ever.
After that Baku can certainly say that Valentines is his favorite day.
It’s cliche, he knows, to have their anniversary be on valentines day. Certainly not something that Baku would have ever expected from Baekjin. And sure they get teased about it constantly by their friends. A yearly chorus of taunts and teases will most likely follow them for the rest of their lives. It doesn’t matter to Baku though, he still loves it. Loves getting to spoil and spend the day with his boyfriend. Lovesseeing the way people through him jealous glances.
Sure, Baekjin doesn’t stop getting confessions, which is still more than just a bit annoying. But, now Baku gets to show off and make it very well known that Baekjin is his, and always was his.