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“Chuuya-san, you’re going to get us caught ,” Atushi breathed out, the tile wall of the public bathroom cold beneath his back, a sharp contrast to the warmth of Chuuya’s lips trailing down his neck at the moment. They weren’t even in one of the two stalls the bathroom contained; Chuuya had ambushed him before the door even shut all the way, pressing him to the wall next to the sink and trying his damn hardest to kiss Atsushi breathless. He was playing dirty, too, having opted for something more low-key but no less sexy than his usual outfit; fitted, dark grey belted slacks, with a tight turtleneck sweater tucked into the waistband and his coat over top of it all. And, the icing on the whole cake, Chuuya was wearing heeled dress shoes, putting him nearly at eye level with Atsushi.
And his hat, of course.
Atsushi huffed out a breath, gently pulling at Chuuya’s hair and nearly dislodging the man’s hat. “Chuuya-san, as gorgeous as you look right now, I would really rather not get a public indecency charge at the building I work in .” Chuuya sighed and pulled back with a smirk, but not before nipping at his lower jaw. “Fine,” the man said, taking a step back and holding his hands up in a universal gesture of surrender. Atsushi huffed and brought his own hand to rub at the slight sting on his cheek from the bite.
“What are you even doing here?” Atsushi asked, genuinely confused. Usually if Chuuya was going to pick him up from work, he would text beforehand. And typically he would meet him out front, instead of in the bathroom that Lucy always complained smelled like weed despite the numerous ‘no smoking’ signs scattered throughout the building. And he definitely wouldn’t come inside instead of staying in the car. So far, the only people that actually knew who Atsushi was actually dating were Lucy and Fukuzawa, and he would like to keep it that way for now.
Chuuya didn’t answer right away, instead melodramatically adjusting his hat before smoothing his lapels. He held a gloved hand out to Atsushi, who took it somewhat apprehensively. Lucy very pointedly ignored them as Chuuya pulled Atsushi out of the bathroom and through the front door, and Atsushi made a mental note to tip her later for the trouble.
Once outside, Atsushi blinked as Chuuya released his hand and stepped over to the curb, startling when the older man tossed a helmet toward him and barely catching it. Chuuya raised an eyebrow at him. “Well? Just gonna stand there?” he asked, grinning, and Atsushi shook his head to clear it. “I thought you didn’t…” Atsushi shook his head again. “That’s your bike.” Chuuya nodded.
“Yes, I can see that,” he replied sarcastically, the smile softening it enough so that it didn’t come off as truly mean. “Didn’t you say you wanted to go for a ride sometime?” Atsushi did remember saying that in passing one night, but Chuuya had told him that motorcycles were dangerous and it would be irresponsible of him to allow an unlicensed and inexperienced person to ride double… so the idea had been put on hold, until Atsushi had at least acquired a drivers’ license.
Now it was Atsushi’s turn to nod, and Chuuya gestured toward the vehicle. “Well, put the helmet on and let’s go,” he replied, and Atsushi hurried to obey.
Atsushi couldn’t keep the grin off his face as Chuuya drove. It was a beautiful day, and the wind rushing past felt incredible as it tugged at his clothes. Chuuya had instructed Atsushi to wrap his arms around Chuuya’s waist and lean forward, essentially laying against his back.
“This model isn’t exactly made for two,” he’d said, “so make sure you hold on tight.”
Atsushi subconsciously adjusted his hold, tightening his arms slightly around his boyfriend’s waist. Chuuya glanced back at him with a smirk and Atsushi’s heart leapt into his throat as he took his eyes off the road. Chuuya just laughed.
Eventually they began to slow down. Chuuya took a turn onto a road that Atsushi was only vaguely familiar with, having tracked Dazai down and finding him at…
“The cemetery?” Atsushi asked curiously, dismounting as Chuuya propped the bike up by the fence. The man nodded and took the helmet from Atsushi, balancing it on the seat.
“You don’t have to come in with me,” Chuuya told him, not meeting his eyes. “I know I brought you all the way out here, but this is really just something that I have to-”
“Chuuya-san,” Atsushi interrupted him gently. “Do you want me to come with you?” Chuuya seemed to hesitate before he nodded. Atsushi held his hand out, smiling reassuringly when Chuuya took it into his own. “Then I’ll come with you, simple as that. Lead the way.”
Chuuya stared at him for a moment, mismatched eyes searching Atsushi’s equally abnormal ones before giving an almost shy smile. Leading Atsushi by the hand, Chuuya walked through the cemetery gates. An unidentifiable emotion settled in Atsushi’s chest as they walked; if he had to choose something to call it, he would probably have to say it felt closest to ‘yearning.’ He glanced toward the hill that he had found Dazai on that day, wondering again what that man had really meant to him.
Atsushi almost bumped into Chuuya as he came to a stop. He made a small noise of inquiry, but Chuuya just shook his head and dropped his hand. He stepped away from Atsushi, tugging his gloves off and tucking them into a pocket. He stopped again in front of a grave, running his fingers over the smooth top of the headstone. Atsushi tried but couldn’t make out the name engraved there. Chuuya stood quietly for a few minutes, before finally speaking.
“ Je me demande s'il savait qu'il allait mourir ,” he murmured, seeming to quote something. “ Il rirait et dirait que les étoiles lui ressemblaient lorsqu'il les fixait .” Chuuya sighed and tucked his hands into his pockets, and Atsushi recalled a time where Chuuya had told him that he didn’t like leaving his hands exposed for too long. Chuuya began speaking, and Atsushi couldn’t tell if he was meant to hear the things he was saying or not.
“Been a while, ne Albatross?” he began, his tone fond yet sad at the same time. “I’m sorry. Life’s been crazy lately, and I haven’t had any time to slip away from work. I’ve had more days off recently though, thanks to… well, I guess it’s been so long since I’ve visited that you don’t know this, heh. I have a boyfriend now, a real one. He’s… everything that the other guys couldn’t even hope to be. He’s kind, and he’s honest, and he respects the hell out of me. He can be kind of self-sacrificing sometimes, but we’ve been working on it.” The man took a deep breath, shaking slightly on the exhale, before continuing. “I wish you were still here to meet him, you’d love him. All of you guys. I just… hah. I bet you’d make fun of me for being such a sap if you were here. Remember the birthday where you all made me cry? Good times. Good times…”
Chuuya sniffled, tilted his head back and pressed his wrists to his eyes for a few moments. He took another breath before turning back to Atsushi with a small smile on his lips. “C’mere,” he said quietly, and Atsushi stepped closer. From this distance, Atsushi realized that the grave was nearly unmarked except for a single stylized ‘A’ at the center. Chuuya looped an arm around his waist and settled his head on Atsushi’s shoulder.
“A while back,” Chuuya said, “back when I first joined the Port Mafia, there was a group within the ranks that called themselves ‘The Flags.’ They were all older than me, but they treated me like an equal. Like a friend. There was an… incident, one day, and I lost them all. I still blame myself for it sometimes.” He sighed and closed his eyes, and Atsushi brought his own arm up to rest over Chuuya’s shoulders. “Me and Albatross were close. The others thought we were dating, and I’m still not sure if we weren’t. My motorcycle was a gift from Albatross.”
Atsushi hummed quietly, listening. It wasn’t every day that Chuuya opened up like this, and it was clear that this was something he was passionate about.
“I’m so sorry for your loss,” he murmured, and Chuuya smiled ruefully.
“Thanks, tiger. Thanks.”
The two men stood there in a soft, companionable silence, before Chuuya sighed and straightened, patting Atsushi’s hip. “We should head back,” he said, looping his arm through Atsushi’s. “It’s getting dark.” Atsushi nodded and followed him back to the bike.
The ride back was quiet, save for the sound of the engine over the wind. Atsushi made Chuuya tea while the man showered, and they wound up cuddled together on the couch with Chuuya curled up into Atsushi’s side. Some cheesy action film played on the television, and Chuuya had his fingers tangled absentmindedly in Atsushi’s hair.
“Thank you for letting me go with you today,” Atsushi said softly. Chuuya stirred and look up at him, eyes heavy with sleepiness. He smiled.
“No need for thanks, tiger,” he replied, snuggling closer. “I wanted you there. I meant every thing I said, by the way. I love you.”
Atsushi smiled and pressed a gentle kiss to the top of his boyfriend’s head. “I love you too, Chuuya.”
~fin~