Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Illi wasn't like other girls.

She was better.

She got Frank in a way that no other girl ever had. She was funny, and kind, and creative, and so fucking cool, even if she also was the biggest fucking dweeb he'd ever met in his life.

He wasn't sure if he wanted her, or wanted to be her.

She'd seemed so carefree, so confident, so unequivocally herself.

But it was all a facade.

Or so her brother, Mikey McMillin, had told him one Friday afternoon.

"It's just an act, Frank. She won't keep it up long. They'll wear her down eventually. They always do, in the end."

Frank hadn't been entirely sure what Mikey had meant, back then. Illi and Mikey had only been at the school a week, and this was the first occasion where Illi wasn't sat beside them at their usual lunch table yet. Mikey had seemingly decided to use this as an opportunity to warn Frank and Ray.

Frank felt uneasy speaking about her when she wasn't there. He was partly worried that she would just appear from behind them and that she'd have heard everything. He imagined her sad face, those big doe eyes of hers, after realising she was being discussed.

"Frank and I don't care about that kinda stuff." Ray was saying.

Frank was broken out of his train of thought.

"Huh?" He said, looking up from the empty milk carton he'd been staring at.

Mikey looked at him with a scowl.

"Wait, what don't we care about, Ray?" Frank turned to his long-time friend.

"You know..." Ray looked a little awkward. Frank wondered why. "Like, gay or trans stuff."

"Who's gay?" Frank felt his cheeks flush red, though he wasn't entirely sure why. He hated blushing, it was always so damn noticeable on his pale complexion.

"No one." Mikey snapped, and for some reason, his cheeks looked a little red too. "Well, unless either of you are, I don't know. But I'm talking about Illi. She's...well..she wasn't born a girl."

Frank felt as though he must have missed way more of Ray and Mikey's conversation that he'd thought. Because he definitely had no idea what either of them were talking about right now.

"Right, yeah." Ray nodded as though he got it. "She's trans. But we don't care, honest." He gave Mikey an awkward smile.

"She's trans?" Frank repeated like a broken record, looking at the pair in confusion. "Oh."

Suddenly all of the questions Frank had had about Illi over the past week seemed to have been answered. He HAD wondered why she was wearing the boy's uniform. Why her voice was so low. Why she'd walked out of the men's bathrooms one day and seemed to look pretty indifferent about it. Frank had wanted to question it all, at the time; but it turned out he was more of a pussy than he thought.

It'd been easier not to question Illi, to just accept her for what she was, for who she was. But now he knew.

"Hey guys!"

Oh shit. She was suddenly right beside him. She'd flopped down next to him on the bench, probably too closer than necessary; her soft thigh pressing against his own. She and Frank were on the opposite side of the table from Mikey and Ray, and Frank felt the bench dip down slightly as she sat.

Ray and Mikey exchanged a glance, before both looking at Frank; a silent way of telling him their previous conversation was over.

"What were you girls gossiping about?" She teased, noticing the suspicious glances exchanged between them.

"Homework." Ray said, at the exact same time Frank had blurted out "Music."

Mikey just sighed, facepalming.

"Oh! Music homework. Cool. Sounds fun. Better than regular maths homework or whatever, anyway." Illi smiled at them innocently. Phew, she didn't seem to realise they'd been talking about her.

"So, what do you guys wanna do tonight?" She swung her legs happily, seemingly excited about something.

"What do you mean?" Frank tilted his head in confusion.

"Well..it's a Friday! The weekend! We gotta do something. To celebrate our freedom."

"Freedom?"

"Yeah. From this shithole. At least for a couple days, anyway."

"I can't do tonight Illi, sorry. My band and I have practice." Ray looked at Illi sympathetically.

"Neither can I. I have a date." Mikey spoke as though it was the most uninteresting thing in the world.

"A date?!" Illi exclaimed, almost leaping over the table to get closer to her brother to hear more. "With who?! How?! When?!"

"Doesn't matter." Mikey shrugged nonchalantly, looking back down at the slice of pizza he'd been prodding at with a fork for the past ten minutes. "Just someone."

"Does she go here?" Frank asked curiously, as in his entire time of going to his shitty school, he'd never been so much glanced at by a girl. Well, he'd received a few unsavoury looks, as though he were a splattered frog that'd been ran over by a bicycle, but he wasn't sure that counted. He figured the chicks at his school just weren't into you unless you were a jock.

"Yeah." Is all Mikey said, not looking up.

Illi sighed and rolled her eyes. "We won't get anything else from him." She said to Ray and Frank. "Don't worry, I'll get the deets out of him eventually." She chuckled, before turning her full attention back to Frank. "Looks like it's just me and you, then." She offered him a wide, toothy smile. Her teeth looked sharp and pointy, like a vampire's. A vampire who desperately needed braces. And mouthwash.

"Huh?" Frank looked at Illi in confusion. Today had been a lot for his brain. He felt like maybe he was having a stroke.

"Tonight! I said it looks like it'll just be me and you, tonight." She smiled brightly at Frank, looking at him as though he'd hung the moon. Which was weird, because honestly, despite how much Frank did like Illi, he couldn't help but get all quiet and awkward around her, and wondered if he'd been coming off as rude without meaning to. Guess not.

"How cute, a little date." Mikey sneered, looking up at them as he pushed his glasses further up his nose as if he was some anime character.

"We can always make it a double date." Illi smirked, undeterred by her brother's teasing.

"Oh hell no." Mikey looked seriously offended, and the other three burst out laughing, causing Mikey's cheeks to flush pink once again. He stood up, pushing his tray of half-eaten food away from him and gathering his things. "I'm going to the library to get some homework done. Illi, you coming?"

Illi shook her head, looking disgusted, as though her bother had asked her to go explore the sewers with him. "No thanks. I'm gonna stay here with Frank and Ray."

"Actually." Ray said, standing up. "I might join you, Mikey. I have a shit tonne of homework I gotta do, and I can't focus in this cafeteria."

"I don't blame you." Mikey glared down at Illi, who feigned offence.

"Gasp! How dare you. Sorry if my good looks and witty charm are a distraction." She winked at Ray, and now it was his turn for his cheeks to flush pink.

Mikey just sighed and stormed off, with Ray following awkwardly behind him.

"Good. Now that the tall people are gone, us shorties can discuss our plans for this evening." Illi turned to Frank. She was still sat far too close to him, their knees touching now that she'd turned so much. He wondered why she didn't just move to sit opposite him.

"You don't have to hang out with me just 'cause I don't have plans." Frank said to Illi. "I know you probably wanted to hang out with your brother and Ray. They're way cooler."

Illi burst out laughing, far too loudly, and her some of her spit sprayed Frank's face. He tried not to grimace.

"Oh Frankie, you can't be serious. My brother is NOT cool. He's like, the biggest loser ever. Well, after me maybe."

Huh. Okay, so she was at least a little self-aware.

"Ray might be cool. But in a dorky way. Like, he's the king of the nerds, if you get me. I really like him though." She looked a little dreamy, as though she were talking about a movie star or a book character and not just Ray, the guy Frank had known since elementary school.

"I like him too." Is all Frank could think of to reply.

"But...you're also cool. And I like you. So...I really do wanna hang out with you tonight. If you still want to, that is." She looked a little nervous as she spoke, which Frank wasn't used to seeing from her.

"No, I do. We can. We will." God, Frank, use your big boy words. "What do ya wanna do, Illi? You chose."

"Hm." She looked thoughtful. "I don't really know. Do you like movies?"

"Do I like movies?" Frank parroted. "Um. I think everyone likes movies."

"Ugh, yes, I know that-" she slapped his arm playfully, but it actually kinda hurt; she was pretty strong. "But like, what about fantasy movies. Lord of the Rings?"

"Fuck yes I like Lord of the Rings!" Frank's face lit up at Illi's words.

"I have a projector thingy in my room. We could marathon them, if you like?" She looked at him hopefully, chewing her bottom lip as though she were nervous he may say no.

Frank thought about it. Of course watching Lord of the Rings on a projector sounded sick as fuck. Of course he wanted to do that. He honestly couldn't think of a better way to spend his Friday night.

But to do it with just Illi? In her house? In her bedroom? He wasn't sure.

"...or not. It doesn't matter." Oh. Illi was talking.

He snapped out of his thoughts. "That...sounds...really fucking awesome. Great idea." He gave her a shaky smile, hoping he didn't look as hot as felt right now. His palms were sweating and he wiped them on his trousers, trying to be inconspicuous but failing miserably.

"Oh!" Illi looked surprised at his response. "Sick. Yeah. Cool. Um. You can come back with Mikey and I, after school, then. Unless you need to go to your house first? Do you get a lift?"

He shook his head. "I biked here. We can bike to yours, though. You don't live super far away, right?" Frank asked.

"No, not super far. But...I didn't bike here. I got the bus."

"That's fine." Frank said without really thinking. "You can ride on the back. If..that's okay?"

"Oh." Lilli seemed to be saying that a lot this afternoon. Frank had never seen her so nervous, so awkward. It was kinda cute.

"...or not." Frank didn't want to make things weirder than they already seemed to be getting.

"No!" Illi snapped, a bit too quickly and a bit too loud. "I want to! Definitely." She had a weird expression on her face, a mix between a smile and something else. "I can't wait."

"Can't wait to ride on my bike with me?" Frank questioned. "

"What? No!" She looked away, embarrassed. "I meant I can't wait for the movie marathon. It's been like, at least a month since I last watched them all. Way too long."

Frank laughed, she really was something else. He looked over at the clock on the cafeteria wall. Lunch would be over soon.

"I'll meet you at the gates once school is done?" He suggested.

Illi nodded excitedly. "Yeah!" She took Frank's hand in her own, giving it a squeeze. Her hand was warm and damp with sweat, similar to Frank's own. "I'm really glad Mikey and I met you guys, you know. You and Ray...you're the best."

Frank felt his face flush pink, and he looked down, tried to look away from Illi, but his gaze found their entangled hands instead, and that just made him blush more.

"But...you're my favourite." Illi said in no more than a whisper, and then - so fast that Frank almost thought he'd imagined it - she leaned in close and pressed a wet kiss to Frank's cheek.

She stood up abruptly and hurried off, leaving Frank alone at the table, confused but also extremely giddy.

So what if Illi wasn't like other girls?

She was definitely better.

Chapter Text

The school days always dragged for Frank; he hated his classes and it didn't help that he never had anyone to talk to, as he wasn't in any of Ray or Illi's classes, and Mikey was in the grade below him.

Despite the despairingly long day, the end-of-day bell finally rang, signalling his freedom for the next 48 hours or so.

He found himself walking faster than usual to get outside, barging past groups of teens and manoeuvring his way past teachers and other obstacles in the hallways to make his way to Illi faster. She'd somehow beat him to it, though, as she was sat on a wall close to the entrance, swinging her legs happily and drinking from a plastic Starbucks cup.

"Where the fuck did you get that?" He asked as way of greeting, walking up to her.

"Found it." She said simply, shrugging. She put her hand out for Frank to help her down from the wall. He took it and helped her down, grunting a little as she basically clambered onto him as she got down. It was probably a good thing she didn't wear skirts, as he felt like Illi would definitely end up flashing the entire school at some point, either accidentally or otherwise.

"Mikey's already on the way home. Getting ready for his big date." Illi grinned gleefully. "I wonder who the mystery person is. He's not told me anything. Has he said anything to you?" She looked at Frank suspiciously, as though trying to work out if he was keeping secrets from her.

"Hell no. He barely talks to you, never mind us." Frank chuckled. "I'm also pretty curious though. Ray and I have never had any luck with chicks in the entire four years we've been here. And look at Mikey, he's been here a week and already secured a date. What a player." He laughed.

"My brother's weird." Illi shook her head. "He slept with almost the entirety of our last school, apparently. He wasn't popular, or anything. Just..."

"Easy?" Frank offered, but then immediately regretted it. This was Illi's beloved baby brother he was talking about. He half expected her to punch him.

But Illi just shook her head again, seemingly still trying to think of a way to explain. "He just..doesn't overthink things the way maybe you or I would. If he wants to sleep with someone, and they want to sleep with him, he just does it. Then he'll never speak to them again. He'll grow out of this phase, I think. I hope." She looked a little disturbed as she spoke. Frank figured he better change the subject.

"So. Our movie night. Do you have snacks at yours? Or do you wanna stop by a store on the way?" He asked.

Illi seemed grateful for the change in conversation, and her eyes lit up at the sound of snacks. "Oh, don't worry, I have loads at my place. I stash them in my room, under the bed, so Mikey and my parents don't eat them. The chocolate might be a little melted but that's okay, right?"

Frank tried to hide his disgust at the thought of melted bed chocolate, but he was sure his face betrayed him. If it did, llli didn't seem to notice, however.

"So, where's your bike?" She asked.

"Just over here." He lead her to the old bike shed, where his ancient, rusted bike sat alone. No one else seemed to actually use the shed for its intended purposes, instead using it to smoke or make out. Graffiti covered the place, and Illi looked at it curiously, fingers grazing over it as though she were reading holy scripture.

"'Brendon and Ryan 4-ever'." She read some of the graffiti out loud. "Cute. I wonder who they are. Oh! And another one - 'Pete and Patrick, BFs 4 lyfe'. "She chuckled softly. "I wonder if they're friends or lovers." She joked.

Frank rolled his eyes, scoffing. "I wouldn't read any of that. Most of it's cruel." He knew some of the graffiti, if not all of it, was mostly slurs and other shitty, horrible things. He spent far too much time at the bike shed smoking, so he'd had the time to read pretty much all of it.

"'Frank Iero is a cutie pie'." She pretended to read, and Frank practically leapt over to her, to see this supposed graffiti.

"Hah!" She burst out laughing, pointing in Frank's face. "You actually thought someone wrote that!" She was acting as though her prank was the funniest thing in the world. Maybe to her it was.

Frank, however, was less than impressed, feeling his cheeks go warm. He couldn't believe he'd actually thought that someone had written that. Even if that had, it would've surely been unserious. He definitely was not a cutie pie. Even if his mom sometimes told him he was.

"Oh yeah? Well...well, here's one-" he pretended to look for one, planning on saying something dumb like 'Illi is a buttface', but he stopped in his tracks when he saw there really WAS graffiti written about her.

'Illi McMillin is an ugly tra-'

He couldn't even bring himself to read the rest of it. He turned, quickly, hoping Illi hadn't seen it.

"What does that say?" She'd obviously noticed him reading something then turning away.

"Nothing, nothing." He shook his head, quickly beginning to unlock his bike to try and divert her attention. But it was to no avail. She walked over, peering behind Frank to read everything written there.

"Oh." Is all she said. She must have read it. "Well. I'm not ugly. I'm hot. So. They can fuck off." Is all she said simply, trying to act unaffected. But Frank noticed that her face had paled, and her bottom lip trembled. Tears began welling in her eyes.

"Hey, hey-" Frank put a hand out to comfort her, but honestly, he had no idea what to say or do. He wasn't used to girls, or even friends, really, other than Ray, so he'd never really comforted anyone before.

"Two seconds-" He began rummaging around in his backpack, looking for cigarettes. Whenever he felt shitty, a cigarette usually perked him up mildly. He knew that Illi smoked, though she tried to keep it a secret from Mikey.

Whilst rummaging, he noticed an old sharpie pen in his bag. He used it to draw on his shoes in class when he was bored, and the occasional desk or locker. An idea suddenly sprung to mind.

He took the sharpie and began scribbling over the graffiti. Well - the nasty part anyway. He amended it to say instead: "Illi McMillin is a hot badass."

Illi watched curiously as Frank wrote, and peered over his shoulder to inspect his work.

"Oh." She said again. And more tears seemed to form in her eyes, but this time, they seemed like happy ones. "Thank you, Frankie." She placed a quick kiss to his cheek once more. Frank went numb.

"Um. Don't mention it." He rubbed at his cheek. "You want a cigarette?" He asked, quickly trying to deflect.

She nodded, humming happily. Thank god, she seemed to be back to her usual cheery self. "Yes please. But can we just share one? I feel bad taking a whole one from you."

Frank had no qualms in giving Illi a whole one to herself, but the idea of sharing one with her actually sounded weirdly appealing.

He shrugged, feigning nonchalance. "Sure, if ya want." He takes one from the pack and popped it into his mouth.

Frank went to reach for his lighter, but Illi was faster, holding her own glittery lighter up to Frank's cigarette and lighting it. His eyes widened a little, and he breathed in fast, almost choking on the smoke.

"Too spicy for you, tough guy?" She snorts, and it should have been an ugly snort, but coming from Illi, it just sounded ridiculously cute. Fuck. Frank was down bad.

"N-no!" He huffed, coughing. "You just caught me by surprise." He took the cigarette between his fingers and inhaled properly, blowing the smoke back into Illi's face.

"Rude." She pouted, snatching the cigarette from Frank. "Haven't you heard of ladies first, anyway?"

"You're a weird kinda lady." Frank muttered, and then immediately regretted it, his eyes going wide the same time as Illi's did. "I didn't mean-"

Illi just smoked in silence, her cheeks pink. She kicked at the ground awkwardly, scuffing her shoes even more than they already were.

"I know I'm weird, Frank. But you still like me, right?" She mumbled quietly.

Frank hadn't been expecting that.

"I...of course I like you, Illi. You're awesome." He gave her a shy smile.

"But you don't think I'm weird?" She questioned further, handing the cigarette back to Frank. Frank inspected the end of it, it was soaking wet and covered in lip gloss. Gross. Or, it should have been, anyway.

He took the cigarette to lips, before grimacing. "Nasty." He laughed. "It's like I'm kissing you."

She simply blushed.

"But to answer your question-" Frank continued. "Yes, I think you're weird. But I'm weird too. And so's Ray. That's why we befriended you and your brother. But that's also why we really like you both. Especially you." He winked at her, giving her a taste of her own medicine.

She rolled her eyes and smacked him again playfully. Ow. He was definitely gonna be covered in bruises if he kept hanging out with Illi, he realised.

"C'mon then, weirdo. Let's get going." He threw his cigarette butt on the ground, crushing it under his shoe.

He hopped onto his bike, motioning for Illi to do the same. Neither Frank nor Illi were fat, but they also weren't particularly skinny, so between them and their backpacks, the bike was pretty shaky. Illi clung to Frank almost fearfully, not liking how unstable she felt.

"Are you sure you're okay to ride us back to my place like this?" She mumbled into his back, gripping him tighter. Frank was working on stopping his brain from short-circuiting at the feeling of Illi's hands around his waist. He'd never given anyone a ride on his bike before, not even Ray.

"Um. I think I should be fine." He insisted, though as soon as he started to actually cycle, he felt his legs turn to jelly.

"We could just walk, y'know." Frank suggested. Illi seemed a little dissapointed at the idea, but nodded nonetheless.

"Yeah. Walking's fine. I'll leave my bike here and get it on Monday." He chained his bike back up and then began heading down the street.

A bright red car suddenly pulled up beside them, skidding to a halt, loud music blaring from inside. Illi and Frank both simultaneously flinched, looking at each other in horror as if imagining what could be about to unfold.

Okay, so maybe they over reacted slightly.

"Illi, Frank, what are you guys doing?" Someone shouted out the passenger side window. Oh. It was Mikey. In...Pete Wentz's car. Huh.

"Mikey? Ohmygod Mikey, have you been kidnapped?! Are you okay?!" Illi exclaimed, running up to the car and flailing her arms as though that would somehow help the situation.

"What? No. Illi, quit being weird." Mikey scowled, whilst Pete just cackled with laughter from the driver's seat.

"I've not kidnapped your brother." He laughed. "Well. Maybe I have. But it's just for tonight." He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. He peered behind Illi to Frank.

"Hey Ray." He gave him a small smile and a wave.

"It's Frank." Frank huffed, crossing his arms over his chest in annoyance.

"Oh, right, sure, whatever." Pete waved his hand nonchalantly. "Do you guys need a ride somewhere?"

Illi seemed thoroughly confused. Frank equally so. Mikey just looked plain embarrassed.

"Where are YOU guys going?" Illi asked. She had no idea who Pete was, having only been at the school a week. But Frank knew all too well who he was. And he didn't particularly want to get into a car with him.

"McDonald's." Mikey said, at the same time Pete said "Taco Bell."

"What?!" They both looked at each other in disgust.

"I said I wanted McDonald's." Mikey huffed.

"I thought we'd agreed on Taco Bell?!" Pete exclaimed, looking offended. He rolled his eyes. "Whatever, we can go to both."

Illi and Frank exchanged more confused looks with each other.

"Um. We're just gonna walk home, I think." Illi said.

"What? But we live miles away." Mikey responded. "Pete, could you give Illi and Frank a ride home?" He asked, and Frank swear he saw Mikey flutter his eyelashes.

Pete nodded cheerily. "Sure thing. Hope in, kiddos." Pete grinned, and Frank scowled, as he was pretty sure he was the same age as Pete, and definitely was not a 'kiddo'.

Illi hopped into the car happily, and Frank reluctantly followed.

"Buckle up boys and girls." Pete turned to them. "Just kidding, I don't give a fuck." He put his music back on, blaring some angry-sounding punk song that Frank hadn't heard before but actually didn't mind. Maybe Pete was cooler than he'd initially thought.

"What about your date, Mikey?" Illi asked quietly from the back, fastening her seatbelt.

Pete burst out laughing, for some reason. Mikey said nothing. Frank looked down at his legs, they were pressed against Illi's again. Why did this keep happening?

Mikey directed Pete to their house. He pulled up outside, and Illi hopped out, Frank following.

"Thanks for the ride, Mikey's friend." Illi smiled at Pete.

Pete just laughed, again, and gave a mock salute. "Anything for Mikey's sister." He grinned. "Nice seeing ya, Ray." He nodded at Frank, who flipped him off in return.

"Mikey, are you sure you don't wanna join us for our movie night? Your friend can join too, if he wants." Illi smiled sweetly at the two of them.

No no no no no no! Frank's brain shouted for some reason. He didn't want Mikey and Pete to ruin his cute night in with Illi. He weirdly wanted it to just be them, for some reason.

"Um...yeah, no thanks." Mikey scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. "I'm gonna just hang out with Pete. I'll be home later."

Thank fuck, thought Frank.

Illi looked pretty confused, but shrugged and waved Mikey goodbye and skipped ahead inside, Frank trailing after her.

"My folks won't be home til later, so we have the place to ourselves!" Illi exclaimed happily, rushing up the stairs to what Frank assumed was her bedroom.

She pushed the door open and ushered Frank inside. Frank immediately began looking around the room. It was small, and messy, and smelt kinda bad, but it was also cute and cool and fitted Illi perfectly.

"I like your room." Frank said, fingers creeping over the dusty action figures that adorned most surfaces in the room.

"Thank you!" Illi smiled a wide, genuine smile, her cheeks flushing pink. "Mikey hates my room. He says it's messy and smells bad."

Frank held his tongue to refrain from saying that Mikey wasn't exactly wrong.

"It's got character." Is what Frank offered instead, and Illi beamed proudly.

"Let me get this dumb uniform off, then I'll set up the projector." She kicked her shoes off and flung them to one side of the room, then shrugged her blazer off and threw that elsewhere. Frank got nervous that she was about to fully strip in front of him.

"Look away." She huffed, and fuck, she actually was stripping.

Frank had never moved so fast in his life as he turned to face the wall, even covering his eyes with his hands to prove that he definitely wasn't peeking.

"I, uh, don't have a change of clothes with me." Frank mumbled.

"Oh. No problem, you can borrow some of mine." Illi tossed a t-shirt and pair of shorts at Frank, and he felt them hit his feet. He bent down and picked them up, inspecting the t-shirt that had some sort of cartoon animal on it.

"Are you looking?" Frank asked quietly, beginning to unbutton his shirt.

"No." Illi lied, and once Frank was changed he turned back around to see Illi staring straight at him.

"Did you look?!" Frank exclaimed, cheeks going pink.

"I didn't peek, I promise." Illi rolled her eyes, smiling. Frank looked at her. She was wearing a baggy band t-shirt and...a skirt?! Frank couldn't believe his eyes. Illi seemed to notice Frank's reaction and blushed, looking down at the ground awkwardly.

"I only wear this in my room. When my parents are out. They know I'm trans and everything, but they still act kinda weird when I wear girls clothes. You don't mind though, right?" She looked at him with wide, worried eyes.

Frank shook his head, trying to find his words. "No, of course I don't mind. You look really pretty." He said, and he meant it.

She did look pretty. Despite her messy hair, wrinkled clothes, weird, nervous smile.

To Frank, she was perfect.

Chapter Text

If you'd asked Frank a few weeks ago what he'd be doing on a Friday evening; sitting squashed onto a single bed in the new girl's house definitely would not have been on his bingo card.

But here he was, their sides pressed together as the movie flickered away on the projector. It was pretty cool, actually.

The shorts that Illi had loaned Frank were short and uncomfortable; they must have been from when Illi was a kid. His pale white legs were pressed against Illi's even paler legs, the stubbly fuzz on them tickling him. She must have shaved them, but not recently.

He wished he could just focus on the movie and not weird things like the way Illi breathed, or the way she smelt, or the way her hand reached out at some point and found Frank's, and now they were stuck together like that, like two awkward school kids who didn't know how to talk to someone of the opposite sex.

Frank almost felt as though he couldn't breathe, and he longed for a cigarette, or a drink, or something, anything, just to distract him even a little bit. He'd seen the movie so many times that he already knew exactly what was coming at every scene, and it began blurring together into one big background noise as he struggled not to have an asthma attack. And he wasn't even asthmatic.

The pair were munching on buttery popcorn; llli had made some for them and shoved it in a big plastic bowl. Every so often they'd reach into the bowl at the same time, and then laugh awkwardly, nervously taking their hands away and then acting like it never happened.

At some point in the movie, Frank felt eyes on him. He glanced to the side briefly, to see Illi basically staring at him. He frowned, unsure as to what to actually say to this strange behaviour.

She leaned forward, voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper—just enough to make Frank's heart do a little flip. For one crazy second he'd actually wondered if she'd been about to kiss him.

"You have popcorn crumbs around your mouth." She said, and just like that, the moment was ruined.

Frank frowned, wiping at his mouth with the back of his sleeve. He looked at Illi, who also had crumbs and butter smeared across her own lips. It shouldn't have been cute. It really shouldn't have. And yet.

Illi seemed to catch him staring at her lips, and blushed.

"You're just as bad as me, dummy." Frank rolled his eyes, and leaned in close to wipe at her mouth with his sleeve.

Frank noticed the way Illi's face heated up when he leaned in closer. Saw the way her eyes widened in anticipation, the way her mouth opened just a tiny bit, like she was waiting for something. But then Frank called her a dummy, and the moment seemed to dissipate yet again.

"Bunch of messy pigs." Illi snorted, easing the tension.

"Speak for yourself." Frank scoffed, but smiled, happy the awkward moment seemed to have passed for now.

Suddenly, the bedroom door flew open. Frank and Illi leapt apart from each other as though they'd been burnt, and they both stared wide-eyed in horror as someone walked in.

It was only Mikey, though. Phew.

"Give me some fucking candy." Mikey snapped, and it was so unlike Mikey that Frank genuinely thought maybe he'd fallen asleep and was having some sort of weird dream.

Illi looked as confused as Frank felt.

"Mikey? You're back early, what's wrong? What's the matter?" She immediately rushed over to him, acting as though he'd been in some awful accident.

"Doesn't matter." He mumbled. "Just give me some candy, I know you have a stash in here. I need to eat my feelings right now."

"Eat your feelings? What happened? Oh, Mikey, were you stood up on your date?"

"What? No! I...he...he tried to kiss me! Fucking kiss me! Who the fuck does that, Illi? Why would he do that?!"

Frank was now lost. So, so lost.

"Who tried to kiss you?" He asked, though he had a feeling he already knew the answer. "Pete?"

Mikey shot a look at Frank that could have probably killed a man.

"This doesn't involve you!" He growled.

Mikey slumped down sadly on the ground, and Illi slumped beside him, taking his hand in hers and stroking it gently, trying to soothe him.

That should have been his hand she was holding! Why was Mikey interrupting their sort-of-date?!

Mikey slumped against Illi, resting his head on her shoulder.

"The date was with Pete, okay? The guy from earlier. But I didn't think he'd fucking try and kiss me! I don't...I don't do shit like that! That's just weird!"

"I know, Mikey. I know you don't like stuff like that. But maybe Pete didn't know? Don't get too strung up on it."

"Strung up?!" Mikey exclaimed angrily, getting to his feet. "You don't fucking get it, Illi. Jesus."

Frank desperately wanted to defend Illi, to tell Mikey to calm down, to get out, to leave them alone and stop interrupting them. But he was, yet again, seemingly a giant fucking pussy. He sat instead in silence, wide eyed, looking between Illi and Mikey as they spoke as though it were a tennis match he were watching.

"You're right. I don't get it. You can have whoever you want, whenever you want, and yet you always seem to pick the wrong person. Or they're not good enough for you. Poor you. Imagine complaining because a hot guy from school tried to kiss you!" Illi exclaimed, her clenching her hands into fists. "Don't you know what I'd give for that to happen to me? But you know it never will!"

Frank could see tears forming in Illi's eyes. Mikey obviously noticed them too, as his demeanour immediately changed, and he suddenly got back to the ground and put his arm around Illi, and he was now the one comforting her.

"Shit, Illi, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sound like a brat." Mikey mumbled. "But you're wrong, though. It will happen to you. You'll find someone perfect for you, and you'll be so so happy. Right, Frank?" Mikey looked over at him.

Frank's eyes widened. "Um. Yeah. Of course."

Illi's face crumpled. "See? Even Frankie doesn't believe it. Fuck!" She covered her face with her hands, now close to full-on sobbing. Mikey glared at Frank yet again, a venomous expression on his face.

"Fuck, no, Illi, I didn't mean to say it that way. Of course someone would kiss you. Anyone would be lucky to. You're really pretty. And kind. And cute. And.."

Illi looked up, eyes glistening. She looked a little more hopeful now. Mikey looked kind of weirded out, but happier than he had done previously.

She snorted back her tears, wiping the snot running down her face with the back of her hand. "Really...? You think that..?" She sniffed.

Frank looked at her. Really looked. She had greasy hair. Bad skin. Weird, rabbity teeth. But she also had wide, sparkly eyes. A twinkle in her smile. The sweetest laugh. She really was endearing.

He nodded, snapping out of his thoughts as he remembered he'd been asked a question.

"Prettiest girl at school." He said, and he meant it, seriously. "You're like a vampire. But vampires are sick as fuck."

Illi burst out laughing at this. A genuine, happy smile. "A vampire?!" She scoffed. "Well...you're right. Vampires are sick as fuck."

"Agreed." Mikey said deadpanned, and this only caused Illi to laugh even harder, and then Frank was laughing, and even Mikey joined in; the three of them laughing like idiots something that hadn't even been all that funny.

"I love you guys." Illi said through tears of laughter, as they ran down her face. "You're so fuckin' dumb."

Frank looked at Illi with wide eyes. He knew she loved Mikey, of course she did, he was her little brother. But for her to say she loved Frank too? Despite them knowing each other for such a short amount of time? He'd guessed that she'd had a big heart. But now his suspicions had been confirmed.

"I love you too, sis. Even if you are mean and call me dumb all the time." Mikey leaned his head on Illi's shoulder.

"You saying it's not true?" Illi laughed, leaning her head against her brother's.

"Can I still have the candy?" Mikey asked after a beat.

Illi rolled her eyes, but laughed. "You're not even supposed to know about my stash, Mikey!" She huffed. "You can take this." He thrusted the popcorn bowl at him. "Are you joining us for the rest of the movie?"

Mikey shook his head.

"Honestly, I kinda just wanna sleep. It's been a hell of a week."

"You can say that again." Illi nods, standing up and putting a hand out to help Mikey to his feet. She brings him into a hug, squeezing him tight.

"Sorry for interrupting your date." Mikey glanced over to Frank, who was sat on the bed with his legs brought to his chest, awkwardly watching the sibling interaction.

"Um. No problem?" Frank answered. Mikey just chuckled, shaking his head and leaving the room.

Illi clambered back onto the bed, pressing herself up against Frank once more. She looked at him, a soft smile on her face.

"So..this IS a date?" She said softly, eyes twinkling.

"Um. I didn't mean...like...uh...I thought this was just a hangout. But I didn't wanna piss Mikey off. He's kinda scary." Frank admitted.

"Mikey? Scary?" She laughed, but looked a little dissapointed at Frank not classing their evening as a date. "He's just a big baby. I thought you would've realised that by now."

"I guess he learned from you." Frank smirked.

"Hey! Shut up!" Illi whined, slapping at Frank's side.

"You just proved my point!" Frank laughed, batting her hands away.

"Hey, Illi..?" Frank asked after a moment of silence. "You didn't actually want this to be a date tonight, did you..?" He asked quietly, cheeks flushing pink.

Illi looked hesitant, eyes flickering between looking at Frank and looking at her feet, pressed against Frank's. "I..." She didn't know what to say. What to do. How to act. She took Frank's hand in her own, squeezing it tightly. "I've never been on a date before. I wouldn't even know what to do."

Frank laughs. "I've never been on a date either. Hell, I've never even kissed anyone. Not even at a party or whatever."

"I've never even been to a party." Illi laughed.

"Oh yeah? Well, I've never even held hands with someone before!"

"But you're doing it right now!"

"Oh yeah.."

Frank looked at their hands, intertwined. They looked right, together, intertwined. Like two pieces of a puzzle that slotted together perfectly. He squeezed her hand.
"I like it." He said honestly.

Illi nodded. "Me too."

"Well. We can hold hands whenever you want. I'll never say no."

"Really?" Illi sounded doubtful.

"I promise." Frank nods solemnly.

"Even at school...?" She mumbled.

"Especially at school." Frank said firmly, though his insides were twisting up into a knot at the thought of actually going through with this promise.

"Okay, Frankie. I'll hold you to that." She pressed a small kiss against his cheek, sealing the deal.

Frank just hoped the hammering of his heart wasn't audible.

Chapter Text

"So...I've heard a lot of rumours about you, you know." Illi said quietly.

Frank frowned, furrowing his brows in confusion.

"From...who..?" He asked.

"Just..people in school, I guess. During classes."

Frank was surprised. He didn't think anyone at school knew who he was, or if they did, not enough to actually want to spend the time gossiping about him. But he supposed it was to be expected since he was one of the only alternative-looking people at his otherwise boringly preppy school.

"People at school are idiots. Their own lives are so boring that they have nothing better to do than talk about other people's." Frank huffed.

"I agree." Illi nodded. "The rumours were just the usual unoriginal bullshit anyway. That you worship Satan, that you're in a cult, that you're a vampire..."

"Oh, hey, I actually like that one." Frank grinned.

Illi laughed. "Me too. That would be cool as fuck."

"So...why'd you mention the rumours anyway? Is this your way of trying to ask me if I'm secretly a vampire?" Frank chuckled softly.

Illi shook her head, her smile fading. "No, not exactly. It's just...one of the things people kept saying...I guess I just wanted to ask...if it's true or not? I'm sorry if it's rude to ask."

Frank's face fell. He half-expected what was coming, but wasn't one hundred percent sure.

"Ask away, Illi." He tried not to sound too nervous. "I'm an open book."

Illi gulped. "Okay. Well...people kept saying that you were a fa- Um, that you're gay? Is that true?"

"Oh." Was all Frank could manage at first, before finally shaking his head. "I don't really know, actually. I've never been with anyone before, so I can't exactly say for certain, but I think I might be...bi? Is that, uhm, okay?"

"Oh!" Illi looked weirdly relieved. "Um...yeah! Of course that's okay! I'm trans, part of the LGBT community, why would I be against bisexuals?" She chuckled a little nervously.

"So why did you ask? Just to be sure I was definitely a queer?" Frank laughed awkwardly.

"I..I asked because..well, I'm trans, obviously. And if you were only into guys, then it would suck if you liked me. Because it would mean you still viewed me as a guy. Which...I'm not. I never have been. Not on the inside, anyway."

Frank shakes his head, giving her a soft smile and squeezing her hand gently.

"Illi. From the moment I laid eyes on you I never saw you as anything other than a girl. You think I go around calling guys beautiful and pretty?"

"Well..I don't know, maybe?"

Frank laughs. "No way, dummy! I'd call a dude, like, handsome or something. Not beautiful or pretty. Nope, those words are solely reserved for girls only. Girls like you."

Illi giggled, cheeks flushing pink. She felt like a dumb schoolgirl. She guessed she technically was one.

"You're a real sweetheart, Frank. Everyone's wrong about you. I'm so glad I know the real you." Illi smiled warmly at Frank, bumping shoulders with him.

"Well, I'm glad I know the real you, too." Frank returned the smile, bumping her back. "And I'm glad that you were worried about whether I was into chicks or not. Means you were secretly worried whether I was into you or not."

"And...?" She asked quietly, chewing her bottom lip.

"Of course I'm into you, dummy. You're the cutest chick in school." He grins.

Illi beams, pulling him into a hug. "Frankie! You're too sweet. Even if you do keep calling me a dummy."

"Hey, we were friends first, and friends bully friends. Everyone knows that." He smirks.

Illi just rolls her eyes, but she's secretly ecstatic. The pair have forgotten they were even watching a movie. They feel like they're living in their own one.