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Snow, simple as it was, possessed an ambiance. The persistent white noise always lingered, always offered a bit of comfort in between breaks. Perhaps no one was there, but that static soothed the anxiety—overwhelmed it, even—until it fell numb.
Now? Nothing thrummed in the air. For the first time in a long time, it was quiet. And Tenna didn’t know what to do with that.
Sitting along the snowy perimeter, he stared at the Dark Fountain flickering on the horizon. A chill taunted him on and off. He massaged a shoulder... then his arm. Yup. Still there, too. It wasn’t a moment ago. Blink, and it was over. Honestly the theme of tonight’s episode. Simply one plot twist after another in rapid succession.
Including his recovery.
She... she didn’t need to save him. Wow, what reason had he given any of them to consider such mercy? No answer presented itself to Tenna. Didn’t help that he also had zero clue about what happened next, now that the Knight was out of the picture. He hadn’t thought that far ahead; the loose script he followed ended two commercial breaks ago. And that kind of cliffhanger eviscerated him worse than—
“There you are.”
Sitting taller, Tenna peered over his shoulder and spotted Susie. Yeesh, poor kid looked beat. Probably overdue for a good night’s sleep.
Yeah, and whose fault is THAT? He flinched at the thought, yet forced a smile.
“S-Susie! Sweetheart!” he called out. “How’s everything going?”
She shrugged. “Could be better. Could also be worse, so... eh, I’ll take it.”
“Ah.” He looked elsewhere, or tried to. Not much to focus on, save for the Dark Fountain. “Right.”
“We’re, um... getting ready to seal things up.”
A bitter laugh escaped him before he could smother it. “Of course you are. That’s what ya WANTED from the get-go.” Tenna fought back a grimace. “Don’t let ME derail ya any more than I already have.”
But Susie chuckled and plopped down beside him. “Yeah, well, we’ve got some time to kill.”
Trembles inundated him. The one broken antenna, held together by duct tape and a prayer, twitched and ached. Then why the hell are ya spending it with ME? Tenna almost asked. No, best to bite his tongue for once instead of ruining the moment. The last thing he needed was to make Susie regret saving him.
“So there’s this place over in the school,” she continued. “Actually, that’s how Kris and I got caught up in this whole Dark World mess, but... it’s where we bring the Darkner recruits. Used to be empty and boring, but everyone’s kinda made it their own. The pippins and shadowguys I’ve talked with seem excited about it.” Susie smirked. “Might even have a place for you, if you’re interested.”
“With other Darkners?” he asked. “JUST Darkners?”
“More or less.”
Perhaps that was a dream come true for most. For him? Yeah, not so much. Might as well yank out his power cord and leave him in the attic to collect dust. What was the point if he couldn’t entertain an audience of Lightners?
Tenna didn’t say that, but his silence and shrinking body conveyed plenty.
“Sorry,” Susie offered. “I thought... ugh, no. I wasn’t thinking.”
“Hey, don’t beat yourself up over it,” he said, wrapping his arms around himself. Fingertips grazed his shoulders. Still there, still there. “Wasn’t expecting ya to have a game plan finalized this soon.”
“But I meant what I said, Tenna. We’ll find you a home. A good one, too. Someplace where you can be yourself and appreciated.”
“Yeah.” A shudder overwhelmed him, then laughter. “YEAH! You’re right! I-I shouldn’t be doubting ya. It’ll be FINE. Nothing to worry about! Just... HA! Gotta keep my chin up, keep SMILING. Don’t wanna make a horrible first impression when I—”
Tenna shrank further.
“If I—”
And further.
“If ANYONE wants me around.”
Maybe this was a terrible idea. Maybe he needed to stay precisely where he was in the Dreemurr household and not risk any more disappointment—for himself or the Lightners.
“Hey.” Susie patted his back, and he hoped she missed how he winced. “Don’t beat yourself up over this either, alright? Believe me, I know it sucks to bounce from house to house, never knowing if it’s gonna be like, your actual home. Just when ya start to settle in and make it your own, it... gets yanked out from under your feet.”
Tenna tilted his head to her. He only knew of one home his entire existence, of one family who took him in. How many homes did she have to say goodbye to, whether she liked it or not? How did she survive, oblivious to the warmth and comfort it provided?
“Kinda start expecting the worst,” Susie added, gazing at her lap, “because at least then if something nice does happen? That’s like, a pleasant surprise, ya know? Extra frosting on a cake or whatever.”
Maybe that was his problem, the reason why everything and everyone he cherished just deteriorated. He hadn’t fathomed the worst-case scenarios. Only the best, the happiest, the most idyllic of circumstances. A beacon of light in the dark, right? Something to banish tears, to numb the pain. It’s what Toriel preached about, day in and day out. Had to keep up appearances and set a decent example, after all. For the kids and the entire family. As any upstanding role model should!
But that light had blinded him, hadn’t it? It caused more harm than good—to everyone involved, despite his efforts and intentions.
“Ya make it sound so easy,” Tenna said.
Susie snorted. “Dude, it’s like, literally the opposite of easy. Living like that... yeah, no. It wasn’t living at all.” She perked up. “But it’s been getting better lately.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Definitely. Not like, a hundred percent, but it sure as hell beats how I was holding up last week, lemme tell ya.” She chuckled as a wistful smile warmed her face. “Toriel was right. Tch, I hate it when adults are right, but... I dunno, even having one person around who gets it—gets you—makes ya feel a lot less alone in this world.”
The smile came naturally. Felt nice, too. “I’m glad Kris has someone like you in their life. That... that’s great. FANTASTIC, really!”
Susie laughed, flashing her fangs. “You and me both!”
Then it faded. Always did.
“Do you... ah, well.” Static warped his face and voice—made it tricky to untangle his thoughts. “I-I guess it doesn’t... ya know, MATTER anymore. HA.”
“Tenna? What’s up?”
“It’s just that—” He clutched his head while convulsing for a second. “You had mentioned something about how YOU had fun tonight, y-yeah?” Unless he imagined that little chit-chat with her. Gah, that would be his luck. “Do ya think that maybe Kris also had fun?”
The static lifted as he regarded Susie, hoping to see her smile. And she did, technically. Wasn’t as bright as he was hoping, though.
“I mean, probably?” she replied. “Definitely wasn’t complaining, I know that much.”
“Ah, r-right. That, um... isn’t so bad.” Tenna fidgeted with his cuff links. “I guess I hoped that... well, it could be like OLD TIMES, ya know? THE GOOD OLD DAYS.” Frail laughter trickled out as he shrank. “But I suppose there wasn’t really anything good about those days, considering... what happened.”
Susie sighed, averting her eyes. That was fair. No sense in expecting her to have words of wisdom for everything, least of all for his damn baggage he unpacked.
“But hey!” he rambled on. “I-I’m glad that Tori helped ya out when ya needed it! She’s something else, huh? Always knows how to turn a frown upside-down!”
“Yeah,” Susie said. “She does.”
“She works HARD, too! TRULY! While flying solo! A ONE-WOMAN SHOW! Talk about a showstopper! Bet there’s nothing she can’t do!”
And yet she had chosen to do nothing with him for... for how long now? More than months. Possibly years? No, he didn’t want to conceive that. Surely she unplugged him for a good reason! Save on the electrical bill or whatever. Raising a family as a single mother wasn’t a walk in the park or cheap. Made sense. There was nothing he could’ve done to help. He was only wasting her time—everyone’s time, actually.
“Susie?”
She leaned in. “What’s up?”
“Do ya know if she’s HAPPY? Toriel, that is. I... I-I can’t tell anymore.” Can’t get a read on ANYTHING these days.
Susie contorted her face before saying, “I like to think she is? I mean, she let me crash at her place last minute. Most adults I know would’ve told me to get lost.”
“Oh. O-okay, that’s... that’s great! HA. Y-yeah, that’s... I’m glad she’s okay.”
“Tenna.”
“I am! I MEAN IT!”
“H-hey.”
“I’ll be FINE! It’s FINE! Nothing’s WRONG! PROMISE!”
“You don’t—”
Her hand settled upon his arm. A kind gesture, no doubt. To console him. And yet it jolted through Tenna like a power surge.
He didn’t mean to scream or bare his fang. He didn’t mean to make Susie recoil. He didn’t mean a hundred—no, a thousand—different things that had unraveled that night, every fiasco beyond his control. He definitely didn’t mean to utter a curse right then. That stunned him more than Susie’s touch.
Oh. The parental locks. Almost forgot what it was like NOT having them on.
Dread seized him. What if Kris overheard him, then Toriel? What if that led to more screaming and fighting? What if she pulled the plug again? But then the sentiment ebbed away, and warmth seeped in. Because despite the rage twisting his wires, it felt good to do that. Felt right, even. Like it wasn’t necessary to hide that facet of himself, pretending to be something else—someone else—for the sake of feigning normalcy.
“I’m sorry,” he coughed up after a lull.
“Uh, for what?” Susie shot back.
“I-I dunno.”
Tenna wasn’t prepared for her hearty cackle, but Susie had a knack for throwing him curveballs all night. He liked that about her—a lot, actually.
“Dude!” she said, grinning, “You’ve spent, like, the whole freaking night going off about the censors killing you. I’ve had teachers who were less strict about that crap! Now look at you.” She elbowed him. “Still kicking, even after ya let it out!”
Huh. She had a point.
“Pretty sweet, huh?” Susie asked.
“Dunno if I’d call it SWEET,” Tenna grumbled. “More like... bitter. ACRID.”
“Oh, c’mon, dude. You loved it.” Her grin widened. “Bet it was fun, too, huh?”
“Well.” He breathed out a chuckle. “Ya got me there.”
Susie tossed her head, laughing until tears pooled in her eyes. “I knew it!”
And if she was right about that, then maybe... perhaps there was some truth to everything else she had mentioned. That he wasn’t broken. That he didn’t need to shoot himself in the foot to convince others he was worthwhile. That there was someone out there to welcome him home, just the way he was.
“Anyhow.” Susie vaulted to her feet, hands tucked behind her head. “Guess it’s about time to seal things up.”
“Ah, yeah.” Tenna remained seated, though managed to regain several feet in height. “That’s a wrap, huh?”
She jerked her chin in the other direction. “Ya wanna go see Kris before we call it a night?”
“N-no, that’s—” Well, of course he did, but Tenna yearned for many things that didn’t align with the Lightners. “I-I don’t wanna step on anybody’s toes. Besides! They know where to find me if they wanna chat! Or... say goodbye. Or something.”
“Hey, this isn’t goodbye, alright? It’s... I dunno, see ya later? Until next time?”
Tenna sat a little taller. “You’re right.” A beat, then, “I, uh... h-hey, listen. I wanna say that—” Anxiety quaked through him, squeezing out a distorted laugh. “Y-ya didn’t need to do any of this tonight, Susie! Can’t say I can wrap my head around WHY ya bothered, but... guess what I’m TRYING to say is... thank you.” He hoped his smile broke through the TV snow. “For giving me another chance.”
Something glimmered in her eyes then. A little spark, but it was there. Couldn’t miss it.
Just as he couldn’t miss her closing the distance to sweep him into a fierce hug.
“Don’t mention it, Tenna,” she murmured.
Warmth flooded him, the same sensation he could only dub as hope. So he reciprocated that hug, grateful that she laughed when he matched her strength, then reluctantly let go.
But it was fine. Because he believed her now when she said he wasn’t broken. So that meant there really was a place for him out there. A home. A true home. He... he liked the sounds of that. So much! Simply imagining all the fun he could have with his new family restored him to his maximum size.
Tenna held onto that sensation while watching her and Kris march to the Dark Fountain. They couldn’t stay forever; they had homes to return to, after all. They deserved that. Everyone did—somewhere to go to after a tedious day, to welcome them back, smiling and accepting. Including him.