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The ground is damp. The air tastes like rust and rain, and the stone in front of him, etched with a name he still can't look at for too long, feels heavier than the sky above
Megumi kneeled, knees sank into wet earth, the small bundle of flowers in his hands trembling because his fingers won't stop shaking. Forget-me-nots and lilies. He placed them down carefully, too carefully, as though the wrong touch might break what little he has left of Gojo Satoru
A year
A year without that blinding laugh. A year without that stupid, arrogant grin that always made the world feel less cruel, less impossible. A year of silence where Gojo should've been
Megumi's throat locks tight. He stared at the flowers "They reminded me of you" he murmured, voice barely audible "The lilies, they stand tall, no matter where you put them. Always facing up like they know they're supposed to be brighter than the world around them, and the forget-me-not"
His lips curved faintly, though the smile never reached his eyes, his hands slowly brushed the dirt away from the carved letters as though dust itself had no right to cling there. He stared at the stone. His voice breaks before it even begins
"I hate you" The words heavy for his heart
"I hate you for leaving me here. For making me..." His chest caves in, and suddenly his body is bowing, forehead pressed against the cold grave "...for making me live without you"
The tears came quickly, the kind that tear themselves out because the heart can't keep them inside anymore. He digs his fingers into the dirt, breathing sharply
"You were supposed to stay" His voice is muffled against the ground "You were supposed to be here when it was over. You were supposed to, you promised me, damn it, you promised me I wasn't alone anymore"
The flowers blurred infront his eyes
"You were more than my teacher"
"More than the strongest. You were the closest thing I had to a father. And now it's just me. Just me, carrying the pieces you left behind" A breeze stirred, carrying the faint rustle of leaves. Megumi tilted his head back, watching the sky
What he really wanted was a voice telling him "Megumi, you did good"
But all he had was a silence
Megumi swallows the ache, but it doesn't leave. It lodges in his chest, burning. He presses his palm flat against the stone, as if he could reach through it. As if Gojo might still hear him wherever he is
"I miss you" he whispers, the words hoarse, broken "More than I can stand" his lips tremble
The rain starts again, soft at first, then harder, soaking through his hair, his clothes, but Megumi doesn't move. He stays there, bowed before the grave, letting the storm drown his sobs
"Don't worry" he whispered as if Gojo could still hear him, as if the grave was only a doorway. "I'll keep going. For you. Even if it feels like an eternity without you here"
He slowly stood up, gave one last look at the flowers lying against stone, and slipped his hands into his hoodie pockets
Finally, Megumi walked away, carrying silence with him, silence that still belonged to Satoru and him only