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I stumbled down the concrete stairs, flanking my brothers and friends as they cheered and whooped all the way down to the asphalt. It was my first brawl, and Soda, Darry, Steve and Two-Bit were taking me.
I had always watched, or at least heard about how these "exhilarating" face-offs between the West Side and us Greasers progressed. As the youngest, I wouldn't be allowed to fight. Darry never let me.
"Good way to blow off steam," Darry chuckled.
"It's like a party. We all get together and do it," Two-Bit had reasoned.
Well, now that I was there, going to fight at the brawl myself, everything started to seem more real. Soda noticed my stiffness and took my hand.
The Socs were all taller, older and stronger than me. As I took in the wave of madras lined up opposite us, smirking brightly back at me, my heart started beating with a frenzy. Some more pulled up into the carpark, flooding out of a blue mustang. Every pulse became a prick of pain. The darkening sky shrouded the surroundings, so all I saw was a sea of smart shirts and smarting faces. My mind started churning, churning, churning. What if what happened to Johnny happened to...
I couldn't take it. My voice rasped, all on its own.
"Uh, I'm just going to get some water!" I strained, tugging my hand out of Soda's, and running. I practically leapt up the steps.
"Hey, the brawl's about to start!" I heard Soda yell, but my breath was quick before I knew it and my legs were still pumping on and on. Through the trashed carpark, past the diner, to the local playground...
I wasn't really looking for water, but now I needed it. I rushed over to the fountain near the swings and frantically gulped down water. I splashed some of it on my face, but soon the salty tears came rolling down anyway. The moonlight gleamed on my hands.
I thought they were going to kill me. In that moment, when I saw their faces leering, the memory of the switchblade slicing tenderly though my skin was fresh. Even with Soda beside me, I was scared.
I started to will myself to calm. Gasping for air, I sunk down next to the ceramic fountain. I hated it all.
What was I thinking, coming out to a fight like that? Way in over my head, forgetting to use my brain... I didn't understand the meaning of it all. It wasn't fun. It wasn't kind. And everyone knew that even if we smashed the Socs to a pulp, we wouldn't win. Why did we fight?
As I sat shaking under the fountain, I thought of Soda. How his smile was always warm. And Darry, who always cared but didn't know how to show it. And all us greasers, with our messy clothes and rough jokes. I thought of Johnny, who didn't deserve the life he got. I didn't understand how these people, my friends, could be any lesser than a soc. Why did they have to be considered better because of their money?
I thought of Mom, of Dad. Now, shivering in the night air, I was missing them more than ever. How we'd go for picnics and take care of Soda's horse. How Darry's smile would easily come out.
"Pony!"
I broke out of my reverie, tears drying on my cheeks. Soda and Darry were rushing towards me.
"Pony! Are you okay?" Soda fretted, jogging up to turn my face and inspect my arms. "So this is where you went?" I could only nod weakly.
Darry noticed the dried tears on my cheeks and strode close, leaning down to try and offer a comforting smile.
"Sorry, Pony. I don't know what we were thinking, bringing you to a brawl like that. You're still a kid, and we forgot."
I opened my mouth to retort but they had already enveloped me in a tight embrace, Soda rubbing my head and Darry squeezing me so hard I almost couldn't breathe.
They smelt like love. Like family, like Mom and Dad.
It was okay. We would be fighting against the Socs, but we were together.