Chapter Text
Thanos was expecting to be recognised, he used to be quite the household name, after all. Even if he wasn't expecting this much attention, he didn't particularly consider it a bad thing! More eyes on him meant more idiots he could use as climbing stones to get closer to his goal.
He managed to catch the attention of everyone under 30 like moths drawn to a flame. One 45.6 billion won smile and a quick señorita were enough to get any girl stuck to him like glue. So, obviously, the same should be applied to guys, right?
"Hey! Señorita!" Thanos called out, leaning onto the wall, casually, as number 388 passed by. He stopped, obviously, as anyone does when Thanos speaks to them.
"Who the hell do you think you're calling that?" Player 388 snarled, like a dog whose territory was being breached. Unfortunately, Thanos wasn't so easily intimidated, not when he already knew he was the biggest dog in here.
"Hey, brother, no need for the animosity, is there?" Thanos walked closer to him, and the guy walked back. Of course, Thanos just had that effect on people. He couldn't help that his natural authority oozed out of his very being.
"Who's your brother?" Player 388 tried to walk away, but before he could, Thanos managed to sneak an arm behind his neck. Simultaneously, he used his left hand to point at his chest.
"You! Aren't we like-minded individuals?" A sharp grin spread on Thanos' face as he alternated between pointing at both of their blue patches.
"I sure hope I don't have a similar mind with someone who really thought that hair was a good idea."
Thanos raised an eyebrow, looking even more like a caricature of a man to Dae-ho. But he quickly switched from slight annoyance to reassuring confidence, as per usual to avoid having the same emotion in his system for more than two minutes.
"That's a funny way of saying you wanna touch it."
"Huh? Like hell I do." Dae-ho looked grossed out, which Thanos found positively amusing.
"You can, if you want to. I don't let many touch the Legend. But I can make an exception for you, y'know."
"Please grant that right to somebody else." Dae-ho tries to, once again, leave, but Thanos catches him by surprise by grabbing his arm and pulling him back. At first, all he feels is the cold metal of his rings digging into his too thin uniform. But then, confusion morphs into panic as he feels himself being spun around and placed right in front of Thanos - close, too, judging by how their breaths mingle in their newly-formed interspace.
"But I wanna give it to you, ponytail."
There's a pause after he says that. One in which Thanos starts to observe his fellow player more closely. How gutsy of him to try and mock Thanos' hair when his wasn't much better. Although, the ponytail does suit him... Without thinking much about it, Thanos is drawn in, stepping closer to him, wanting to analyse him even more. His eyes slowly take in every bit of his face, starting from his frowning eyebrows to his nose before landing on his lips. They look weirdly soft and glossy for someone who just had a close encounter with death. That's what Thanos thinks as he leans in, subconsciously holding his breath as if any sudden move would make Player 388 run away.
He licks his lips as he's watching him, almost hypnotised by the man before him. He tries to gouge out the other man's expression, but he doesn't look particularly bothered either. If anything, to Thanos it looks like he's also stuck in this fragile moment, feeling the tension between them drawing them closer to each other. Briefly, Thanos thinks he's still high, he surely feels that way. Although he's quite sure the effects have long worn off.
Then, like lightning striking down, the moment implodes in a flash. Thanos is unable to hold his breath any longer and the tension leaves his body in one sharp exhale. It seems to shatter the force keeping them so concentrated on each other.
"Brother this, ponytail that, stop with all of your stupid nicknames!" Player 388 says, ripping himself away from Thanos' grasp.
It seemed to be enough to shake the residual amusement out of Thanos. Looking at the player in front of him, who wore this tired, disappointed expression, made something in him hurt. Player 388 seemed to notice too, which made Thanos feel even weirder. He chalked it up to a brief moment of wakefulness in between all the drug-induced frenzies and smiled 388's way. He gave him the perfect platform to jump off of, after all.
"Maybe if you gave me your name I wouldn't need to get creative."
"Not in a million years."
"I'll ask again after two games."
It was cool. Even if 388 liked to play hard to get, Thanos was good at games. He had a certain way of pushing buttons that assured him victory in this otherwise dire situation. There was a reason so many people clung to him already, after all. He wasn't stupid enough to think Nam-su wanted to stick by him for his charm, after all.
"We're not gonna get to play more. These games end right here, after tonight's vote. And I'm voting X."
He had a pretty pout as he tried to puff up his chest. It was a look of clear confidence with no basis but it stirred an interesting feeling in Thanos. It's sad that 388 didn't seem to catch onto that fact. How he gets more desirable to him the more he pushes him away, luring Thanos into a game of cat and mouse.
The fact that he was still wondering that must have been written on his face though, because 388 takes a step back, the intent clear as day.
"Listen. I don't know you, and I don't want to. So let's just stay out of each other's way, how about-"
"Dae-ho! What's the hold up?" Jung-bae's voice was, as always, loud enough to cover multiple players.
Thanos smirked, glad for the existence of players like him. The glares he received from Dae-ho's group upon arrival did not deter him one bit.
It was cool.
Thanos was down to play along with a Romeo and Juliet scenario, as well.
"Stop staring, it's weird." Nam-gyu said, looking at Thanos like he was the shit at the bottom of his shoe. Thanos stared right back, craning his neck to look at him, mouth curled in a snarl.
"Got any problem with staring?"
"Yeah, when you're undressing another dude with your eyes." Nam-gyu said, then seemed to want to swallow his words as Thanos got up and walked towards him. His hands were deep in his pockets as he sauntered menacingly, looking like a caricature of a delinquent. "I'm just saying, man! It's weird."
"It's called sizing up the competition, Nam-su. Got any problem with that?"
"It's Nam-gyu." Nam-su said. "Anyway, you can stare as much as you want. Not like he's ever going to catch you doing it."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"What do you think? He's never looking your way."
"Huh?"
"He only did it once, and he had a disgusted look on his face." Much like how Nam-gyu'd look at Thanos, actually. Or how Min-su wished he would have the courage to look at Thanos, if he wasn't so afraid of Thanos throwing him down the stairs in the puzzle room.
"HE ACTUALLY LOOKED AT ME?"
"Nope. But way to out yourself as desperate, idiot."
Thanos wished he had the energy to snarl, but as of right now, he couldn't even argue against his offense. His mind could not even come up with bullshit reasons to pretend to be right. All his mind allowed him to do was to frown and curse whoever cut the thread of his patience so short, ignoring the metaphorical scissors in hand.
"Whatever." He laid in bed, arms behind him acting as a pillow. "I have all the time in the world to impress the guy."
"Do you even know his name?"
"It's... Dae-ho." Thanos spoke quietly, as if trying to sound out the words. He hadn't outright pronounced his name since the first time they met, now that he thinks about it. He's not sure of the reason why. What could he have possibly been afraid of, especially a man of such little patience.
Something about Dae-ho just made Thanos want to be more... careful about it, he supposes.
"Aha! So you know his name, you asshole."
"I also know yours, Nam-su."
"Somebody keep me from killing this guy."
"Do it, we get more money that way." Se-mi's voice could be heard from the bunk next to them.
"WHATEVER, I'M GONNA GO TALK TO HIM. GOODBYE, LOSERS." Thanos got up and was gone in the blink of an eye. He wasn't sure what exactly it was he wanted to do, or how he was to achieve it, but what he was sure of was that being near people of such negative energy was going to mess with his vibes.
All of a sudden, it got awfully... quiet. Se-mi enjoyed the moment for approximately one and a half minutes before Nam-gyu opened his mouth to once again complain about how shitty of a leader Thanos was and how he was going to kill him in his sleep and steal his pills one day.
Thanos could see Dae-ho in the distance, and he was approaching with a confident stride. He was already coming up with scenarios and lines in his head, thinking if he should start the conversation with a "hi there, tiger" or a "do you come here often?". But, before he could reach him, Dae-ho took notice of him as well, and he began walking towards him. Thanos' steps halted, pleasantly surprised.
"Should’ve known you couldn't resist the Thanos Charm for too long." Thanos flashed a toothy grin that Dae-ho didn't even bother to appreciate. He just grabbed him by the arm and started dragging him away to a corner of the room. "Woah, slow down! I know it's hard to control yourself around me, but-"
"SHUT UP!" Dae-ho yelled out, earning the attention of a few people around them. Despite the utter audacity he showed around Thanos, he seemed ashamed when the others started staring. With his ears red, he dragged Thanos into the hallway to earn themselves some privacy. No one was around besides them and two pink guards.
"Listen, man, if you really wanted us to escalate, you should've gone in the bathroom or something. People can still come around here, y'know?" Thanos helpfully added. Dae-ho just stared at him, deadpan, like he just got done saying the stupidest thing in the universe. Which isn't right, Thanos is certain he's said stupider things before.
"I don't know what's going on in your head. From how you talk, I'll just assume nothing." Dae-ho said, looking exasperated. But Thanos knew better than to fall for it. You don't just drag someone around like that then pretend you hate them.
"Geez, still keeping up the tough guy act? That's cute."
"Are you never embarrassed with the bullshit that comes out of your mouth?" Dae-ho groaned. For all of his whining, he surely didn't seem like he had any intention of walking away.
"I could say the same to you. You can hide behind insults all you want, I know what you actually want to say." Thanos smirked, more cockily than ever, crossing his arms defiantly. This seemed to annoy Dae-ho to an unprecedented extent, and Thanos' heart just pounded with more excitement the angrier he got.
"If you're so smart, then enlighten me. What do I wanna say?"
"I might not be the smartest guy out there, but I know one thing for sure." Thanos walked closer to Dae-ho, and although he tensed up, the latter didn't back away. "You don't make such an effort to talk to someone, only to shittalk them. You're interested in me, too, aren't you?"
For a brief second, the anger melted away from Dae-ho's face, leaving his expression uncharacteristically blank. Then, like he just sobered up and realized what he's done, he let out a small gasp. As if that never happened, he regained his angry expression, this time with increased intensity.
"No, asshole! I want to tell you to fuck off! Quit bothering me!" Dae-ho grabbed his collar. The gesture was supposed to be intimidating, but Thanos couldn't help but feel excitement. This is a new achievement for him! They've never been this close before!
"It's okay, Big Tiger, you can be honest with Thanos. He shares the sentiment, after all." Thanos gently grabbed his fist, which only made Dae-ho more annoyed.
Dae-ho successfully shook him off, which wasn't too hard, considering how weak Thanos' hold was. He hated how hard it was to fight back against him when he acted like this. As a marine, Dae-ho has encountered all kinds of strong opponents, with both fighting prowess or strategic sense. But he's never had to deal with a mesmerized idiot who was probably too high to realize what he was doing. Punching him now went against the soldier honor code, and it would certainly gain the disappointment of everyone around him, including Jung-bae. He was the paternal figure Dae-ho could never stand to disappoint, now that his actual father had left him stranded on an island with no guidance.
Another approach was needed with people like Thanos.
"Listen. I know your brain is probably fucked from all those drugs, but you must have me confused for another one of your "senoritas". There's plenty of girls here who would probably beg for your attention." Dae-ho had to bite back his utter disgust at the fact that it was probably true. He still remembers the mass of people who flocked to him on the first day.
"But there's nobody who I'd want to tango with other than you, baby." Thanos, once again, grabbed his hand.
Dae-ho gritted his teeth. Thanos could feel how close he was to giving in, but was still confused as to why it's taking so long. He's never had to goad someone this much, they all just fell into his lap. If not at the sound of his raps, then at the sound of his crypto coin balance.
"... I guess there's other people here who lack love just like me. For them to end up like this."
Suddenly, Thanos noticed Dae-ho's features growing softer. He was looking down at their joined hands, most likely contemplating whether to kiss Thanos or have sex with him right then and there. He was one second away from warning the guards to cover their eyes if they were particularly innocent.
In that moment, Thanos was brought back to his childhood, when he played a game of catch with a bird that'd come to their house. Whenever he lunched forward to grab it, the little bird would always flap its wings quickly and manage to escape.
But one time, Thanos managed to capture it by luring it closer with some leftover seeds, and then forcefully clasping it with his free hand.
Dae-ho was an easier prey, since he had no wings to fly.
He already had Dae-ho in the palm of his hand, so Thanos supposed it was time for the offense.
With no warning, Dae-ho felt a hand clasping the back of his head and then pushing him forward so that he'd collide with Thanos. Sadly, the collision did not consist of something as merciful as a black eye, because their lips connected instead, cutting short his air circulation and making him light-headed. For Thanos, it was unlike any high he's ever experienced but certainly just as addicting. If he weren't so unwilling to part ways with Dae-ho's hand (how come it was so soft anyway?) he might have tried to wrap his around his waist, to assure an even closer proximity. It was heaven in the middle of hell.
For Dae-ho, it was entirely too much. He felt like he just experienced a rush he might never be able to forget, in the worst way possible. The kiss absorbed him entirely, with Thanos sucking out his very soul with his masterful tongue invading every crevice made available. It was painful in a way Dae-ho never thought kisses could be. His sisters always described it as a gentle press of a loving partner, but Thanos was entirely too forceful and did it with far too much lust for it to be considered romantic. Dae-he felt as if he would soon run out of air and die in his arms.
But... among all the pain and fear, he couldn't deny the faint sweetness he felt in the back of his throat, as if his body was trying to reassure him that this was not the worst thing that could've happened in this game.
Finally, his rationality resurfaced against the panicked instincts of a victim. He tore Thanos off with the same force he put into the kiss, so hard he sent him into the wall behind him. He spit on the ground any residual taste the rapper left behind, and cursed.
He seemed to struggle to even breathe, so unsurprisingly, he didn't get involved into the scene any more than he needed to, running back to his group before they would start to suspect a kidnapping.
Now alone, Thanos was too stunned to even give chase. It was only now that he remembered he never caught the bird properly. Even being so close to him he could touch it, with a bit more struggle it managed to fly away, leaving Thanos to realize how stupid he had been.
Sometimes, using force at the wrong time erases all effort you ever put into your goal.
"So, Nam-gyu." Thanos started conversationally. "There's this girl who's mad at me-"
"Is it that Dae-ho guy?" Nam-gyu stopped him mid-sentence. There was a bit of a delay in his voice as someone calling him by his actual name took him by surprise.
"Man! How the hell did you know?"
"He might look stupid, but he's not half bad." Se-mi said from one of the top bunks. Who the hell asked her?
"Wow, thanks." Nam-gyu said as flatly as he could. "With such a pleasant attitude, I'm sure guys were just lining up to come talk to you."
"They were, actually." Se-mi ignored Nam-gyu and hopped off the bed to sit side by side with Thanos. "Which is why I'll help you out." Thanos opened his mouth to speak, but Se-mi talked over him. "I don't care what you did, and y'know why? ‘Cause it doesn't matter." She put a hand on his shoulder like she was about to bestow some wisdom upon him. "If he doesn't talk to you, it just means you didn't try hard enough. Just go, and flirt again, but harder. Put your entire heart into it! You're a passionate guy, I'm sure he'll find your perseverance irresistible."
While she was giving him this unexpected pep talk, she made eye contact with Nam-gyu, who was still processing the fact that Se-mi initiated a conversation with them. Then, he noticed it; the flicker in her eye, the reason behind this buddy-buddy façade.
She was just as tired of Thanos’ lovesick moping as he was.
Without thinking twice, he got up and did the impossible: helped a girl out.
"Yeah, dude, she's right! They say the third time's the charm after all! That phrase wouldn't exist if everything just turned out right the first time!"
"I... I don't know if that's true." A small, shy voice echoed out behind them, making all three turn around.
It was one of the rare times where Min-su spoke up. Why would he even try, when his three teammates were enough to overpower the entire room? Min-su never really considered his input might be needed for anything, but something about Se-mi's and Nam-gyu's advice just now felt wrong, so he decided to chime in, as little dating experience as he'd had.
"Did you say something, Min-su?" Se-mi looked positively curious.
"Yeah, did you say something, Min-su?" Nam-gyu looked like he wanted to beat the shit out of him.
"I, um... I just wanted to say that...I don't think that's the right... approach..." Min-su spoke again, this time fiddling with the sleeves of his tracksuit. He tried his hardest to avoid eye contact with Nam-gyu, though his hateful energy permeated the entire scene. He'd have to stick close to Se-mi for the next twenty four-
"Who the fuck asked for your opinion?"
- years.
"Shut the fuck up, Nam-su. Let my boy speak." Thanos suddenly got up.
From the slump he was stuck in before, he morphed into his usual happy, energetic and slightly delusional self. He held both arms out and closed his eyes as if trying to catch some alien energy waves, then slowly walked toward Min-su, who looked scared to be so close to the entity they called Thanos.
He seemed eager to lean close to his friend.
"What was that, Min-su? Do you need to go take a dump? Want me to accompany you?"
"N-No, I just said that... maybe you need a gentler approach to your flirting. You tend to be a little..." Min-su audibly gulped. "Intense."
"Huh? What was that, Min-su? Did you just say Thanos was tense?" Nam-gyu spoke, once again, over Min-su's mumbling.
"What? That's not-"
"Hm? Did you say he’s dense? Now that's not very nice, is it." Nam-gyu slung an arm over Thanos' shoulder, leaning his weight onto him to try and steer him away from Min-su. "I think this guy is just messing with you, Thanos. Don't listen to him."
Thanos rubbed his chin like the intellectual that he was, scrunching up his eyebrows. He seemed so deep in thought that Nam-gyu briefly thought he might get lost in his own head and never come back. Alas, he resurfaced, and with him came his conclusion:
"I think my boy Min-su has a point." He nodded, agreeing with himself. Next to him, both Nam-gyu and Se-mi were shaking their heads as if to counterattack his nod.
"C'mon, man, look at Min-su, does he look like he knows what he's talking about?" Nam-gyu pointed at the aforementioned Min-su who was mumbling something about how he had a girlfriend before.
But Thanos was a man that couldn't be deterred so easily. He escaped from Nam-gyu's grasp and headed towards his sought after target.
"I've heard enough. Thanos, out." He said and flipped his hands towards them in a weird motion, before walking away.
"For your own sake, you better fucking hope he's stupid enough to still fail." Nam-gyu growled at Min-su, who was already cowering. Before Nam-gyu could even raise his fist, Se-mi formed a wall in front of him.
"Listen up, Nam-su. I might've helped you fool that idiot, but don't think I'll let you do whatever you want."
"My. Name. Is. Fucking. NAM-GYU!"
Thanos heard Nam-gyu's voice as he was searching for Dae-ho, its echo reverberating in his head, before being replaced by Min-su's earlier advice.
Maybe you need a gentler approach
It's then that he also spotted Dae-ho, sitting uncharacteristically alone on some stairs. But before he could strike up conversation, his legs froze. One unanswerable question popped into his head... but...
What did gentle even look like?
He never stopped to think about it before, but he realized just then how clueless he really was. How could he know? From where? He never really encountered gentle up close, not when his father was an alcoholic and his mother somehow hated him for it. The closest he's ever gotten was with the bird that'd come every now and then to their home, but he doesn't like to think about that one. It reminds him too much of Dae-ho.
He had been so deeply invested in his own life story, searching deep for any relevant memories, that he hadn't noticed Dae-ho slowly getting up, almost as if he were afraid to even draw his attention.
"W-Wait, don't go!"
Through sheer force of habit, Thanos reached out to grab his hand. He succeeded in keeping him still, but certainly not in erasing the fear plaguing his features. Although any emotion looked good on such a pretty face.
Thanos shook his head since that kinda thinking got him in this mess in the first place. Then he quickly let go of Dae-ho as if he had been made of fire, ending up with both hands raised in front of his chest, a defensive stance. Surprisingly, Dae-ho did not immediately run away. Thanos, however, could not guarantee how long that'd be the case, so he sprung into action, spurred on by the intense beating in his chest.
"I... uh..."
His usual confidence was utterly gone, leaving behind the anxious teenager he thought he fully left behind. It was hard to tie even two words together. So this is what Min-su struggled with every day. It was not a pleasant feeling to have the Dork Disease.
"I'm... my bad..."
"Huh?"
Damn it, why was it so hard to talk to him all of a sudden? He never struggled, not even when he met real life celebrities that were (apparently) on a much higher level than him. It had always been Thanos and the rest of the world, his ego would tell him, future worshippers waiting to find their true calling. But it was as if his brain had specifically singled out Dae-ho, as if he were someone Thanos should pay specific attention to for once, and that made approaching him increasingly difficult.
He had imagined scenarios of how he'd talk to him again, but he recoiled in anxiety at the mere thought, an entirely new feeling. Most unhelpful was when his mind would provide him with memories of the kiss they shared, which was always accompanied with this acrid, cutting sensation traveling the path to his throat, a feeling he believed to be guilt.
And guilt cut at his confidence, little by little, to make out of him the kind of fool that Dae-ho would only laugh at. And he was starting to think he deserved it.
"Look, I'm... I'm sorry..."
"What?"
"I said I'm sorry! I'm never gonna do that shit again, okay?!"
Unless Dae-ho wanted him to, of course. But shit, there was a fat chance of that happening when Dae-ho looked so scared. It just reminded him of that damn bird again, the one that slipped right through his fingers.
"So... don't leave so fast. I just wanna talk... alright?"
Thanos didn't touch him, but he held out his hand, a silent and sincere prayer for Dae-ho to listen. And Dae-ho... had no idea why, but he actually felt like doing so, the initial pity he felt for him resurfacing in the face of a real-life sad puppy look. Not to mention that, for a split second that he'd like to forget, the image of Aladdin from the classic Disney movie he'd watch with his sisters popped into his mind, and was gone just as fast. Dae-ho will just pretend it never happened.
Slowly, as if threatening that he could change his mind any time, he sat back down. He then patted a spot next to him, signaling Thanos to sit down. His eyes were still searching though, looking for the closest person in their group that could potentially come to his aid if needed.
That person was Jun-hee.
Well, he was fucked.
Dae-ho let out a heavy, prolonged sigh as he accepted his fate. Whatever, there were (probably) worse ways to die out there...
But while he braced for death, it didn't come. Neither did Thanos, for that matter. He just stood right where Dae-ho found him, looking way more awkward than Dae-ho was used to seeing him.
"Sit." Dae-ho said and patted the bed, as if Thanos was a stubborn dog that wasn't listening to his command. But Thanos still didn't budge, he just started fidgeting with his fingers. Without wanting to, Dae-ho fixated on it, his eyes drawn to the only place on Thanos' body that was moving. Thanos noticed, and quickly put his hands behind his head, casually.
"I'm fine. Don't worry about it, I've got strong legs." Thanos did a side lunge as if to prove his point, and Dae-ho had to hold back his laughter with all of his might. Though he doesn't think he did a good job, seeing as Thanos proceeds to blush and scramble to get up. After a few awkward coughs, he finally speaks up. "It's just... I wouldn't want to make you uncomfortable."
He looked awkward while he said that, and a bit confused, too. Truth be told, he hasn't had to deal with someone not wanting to be around him for a very long time. If anything, Thanos was struggling to get people away from him, not getting them closer.
"It's fine. I invited you to sit." Dae-ho said, and something seemed to click in Thanos' head at that moment.
"So it's fine if you do it first..." He mumbled then nodded his head as if taking notes. Dae-ho cocked his head, confused, but decided not to prod further.
"It's okay if you don't wanna sit either. I'm not forcing you."
"Yeah, if anything it's me doing the forcing." Thanos meant for it to be a little joke, but that day he learned that something doesn't become funny just because you fake laugh after it. Dae-ho didn't look amused, just kind of awkward, which made Thanos want to curse himself. Why did none of his usual tactics ever work on this guy?!
"Whatever, just... sit down." For the sake of Dae-ho's own mental health, he chose to move past the failed attempt at humor. After a quick "yes, sir", which undoubtedly brought Dae-ho back to his marine days and made him smile, Thanos scrambled to move within his space, as if afraid the offer might disappear if he doesn't.
"So what was that, exactly?"
"Wh-what was what?"
"Are you really gonna make me say it? I obviously meant the..." Dae-ho blushed and turned away to not have to deal with Thanos' dumfounded stare, though it seemed to be a permanent fixture. Otherwise, had he allowed himself to be seen, he was afraid Thanos could probably put two and two together and realize that was his first...
"Kiss..."
Thanos let out a long "ah", then glued his palm to the back of his head and scratched the nervousness away. He was smiling, but Dae-ho could tell he was just as lost as his conversation partner. Similarly, he also noticed how the tips of his ears became tinted with red, and had to mentally slap himself from actually thinking he looked cute.
"I don't really know what I was thinking, myself. My body just kinda acted on its own. Must be the drugs."
"Ah." Dae-ho looked down, but Thanos had to rub at his eyes to not call it disappointment.
Either way, he couldn't really call what he just told him the truth. He was sober at the time, otherwise he wouldn't have been able to remember the scene with such vivid detail, and reconstruct it at night with such authenticity. But he was struggling to find an answer, himself. It was not up for discussion whether he approached Dae-ho first for a potential ally. Then, that mixed in with him wanting to just have a little fun teasing somebody, preferably someone pure-hearted (unlike Nam-gyu or Se-mi), but who also wouldn't just start crying the moment Thanos opened his mouth (Min-su).
Now, though? He wasn't quite sure.
Which, speaking of.
"Did you like it?"
"Huh?!"
"The kiss." Thanos extrapolated, as if that would soften the blow of his words. Words which Dae-ho took a mental hit from. He stood with his mouth agape for a few moments, his brain barely processing what he just heard. "What? Is that a no?"
If he didn't already know what a clueless dumbass Thanos was, Dae-ho would've been mad. But considering that the man operated on a different plane of existence than the rest of them, Dae-ho forgived his audacity. It was like getting mad at an outdoor cat for pissing indoors. It's not like it knew any better.
"You... Do you think this is the moment to ask that?"
"Is that a trick question?" Thanos asked hesitantly, suddenly aware he was being judged although he couldn't quite tell why.
"Just... god." Dae-ho buried his head in his hands, feeling like he was slowly going insane. Was this what was going to do him in? Not the constant death and horror, but one dumbass who talks too much? He survived the military service, dammit! He's not going to be defeated by this.
"I liked it myself." Thanos said, seeing as he wasn't getting an answer anytime soon. "But... I think you didn't."
Hearing this, Dae-ho slowly raised his head from his hands, staring at Thanos through a few strands of hair. Did Thanos just... say something remotely sensible?
"But I didn't know you wouldn't like it when I did it. I could've sworn you were into me as much as I was into you. I'm not usually wrong about these kinds of things, so I just went along with my gut without thinking much about it. Sorry." Thanos was looking at his hands, his ears red from shameful regret. Dae-ho blinked once, twice, surprised by what he was hearing.
"Well, you're not too bad of a kisser, so you're forgiven."
"REALLY?" Thanos almost fell off his spot, but he stopped himself just in time before he would lose any street cred. Those were the life energy of a rapper indeed. Dae-ho let out the worried breath he didn't know he was holding and casually pushed Thanos out of the way when he came closer to inspect the look on his face.
"Don't let it get to your head. God knows how large your ego is already." Thanos really, really struggled not to take Dae-ho's comment and turn it into a dirty joke of that not being the only large thing about him. He had an inkling that such things also qualified as sexual harassment.
"Have you never been rejected before?"
"Nope." He hurried to answer.
Dae-ho really, really struggled not to punch him.
But what Thanos said next made him feel bad instantly, in spite of all of his earlier fuckups.
"But my parents kinda hated me, I guess. If you could count that as rejection. My dad just kinda went crazy at some point, so long ago that I don't even remember what he was like normal. My mom always ranted about it being my fault, and me being her biggest regret."
Dae-ho was stunned. He had a feeling before that there was something more to Thanos than the ruthless persona he puts on during the games, there always seems to be more than meets the eye with unredeemable assholes. Then again, everybody looked redeemable compared to the freaks that forced them to play these games. But to think that his family life was broken to this extent was a bit... flabbergasting.
All of a sudden, he felt a bit bad for all the times he told Thanos to fuck off (although it was with good reason), but he couldn't muster anything more than a "that sucks", which seemed to be enough to comfort Thanos for the time being.
"It's okay. I didn't need those haters anyway. I made it big on my own, with or without their useless support."
Without realizing it, Dae-ho's lips curled into a small, sad smile. The pity he felt before transforming into something more akin to a subdued pride. He didn't know Thanos all that well, but now that he knew where he started from, he couldn't help but feel happy for his achievements. His own family is pretty tumultuous, so maybe there's also a sense of camaraderie in that. Dae-ho could only dream of the success Thanos reached, although he also crashed and burned.
"Yeah, I mean, even I knew of you. And trust me, with how much music I listen to, that is an achievement." Dae-ho chuckled, but it was then that Thanos leapt towards him like a dog chasing a treat.
"You heard of me before? Really?!"
Thanos' mouth was open in a silent gasp, and despite their proximity to one another, Dae-ho realized he wasn't uncomfortable around him anymore. After all, he was now aware this impulsiveness was part of him. It was instinctive. If he harmed anyone, it wasn't always on purpose.
But that didn't mean he wouldn't do it on purpose, too. Dae-ho had to remind himself he saw this man pick fights left and right, push people to their death during the first game... he was a threat. Still, he couldn't help but feel his walls fall down around him. Especially since Thanos made the first step and was vulnerable first.
"Yeah, I've heard a few of your songs before."
"And? How much did you like them?" Thanos asked, because of course he liked them. It wasn't a question of if, Thanos was confident enough in that.
"Most of them were garbage. They were indistinguishable from the other shit I heard on the radio. There was only so much I could take before I went insane."
Dae-ho liked rap music as much as the next guy, but not even the most die-hard fans should like what got popular nowadays. The most streamed rapper on spotify this month was a guy who fit the "divorced dad" genre and rapped about the struggles of being a man. Most amusingly, he used the word "provide" every fourth verse in all songs. Dae-ho made a game out of counting them.
But whereas Dae-ho smiled just thinking about it, if Thanos were a dog his ears would've gone down, so Dae-ho continued.
"But... I always liked the first one you wrote. The first one that went viral was... pretty good."
And he wasn't lying, either. That song had a good flow and interesting chorus progression. Not to mention how nice Thanos' voice was when he actually used it for the right things. He made the dumbest shit somehow sound good. Plus, Dae-ho always felt like there was something more genuine about Thanos' first ever hit, like a vulnerability he never exposed again after he gained his initial fanbase.
Back then, it was something that definitely felt new and he'd say nobody had been able to replicate it still, including Thanos himself.
He said as such to Thanos, who looked dumbfoundedly delighted, if a little smug to hear the unexpected praise. He was like a dog through and through. Dae-ho had to physically grab at his waist to put him back where he belonged, 'lest he fell over him. He didn't think much of it as he was doing it, but once Thanos sat down, and as his touch lingered a bit longer than intended, he felt cornered. Worst part is, it was brought upon by his own damn self.
The gesture was followed by an excruciating pause of just Dae-ho saying nothing and Thanos letting a blush spread on his face, before the rapper finally got his brain to function again.
"That's so cool. I mean, thanks... Y'know... For the support."
It could hardly be called support, but Thanos looked too happy to be told that right now.
"Wow, do you say that to every 'Thanos nation' member?"
"No. I'm just really happy to hear that from you, I guess."
Again with that mesmerized, lovesick smile. What's there to be mesmerized about? Dae-ho just called his music shit and Thanos acted as if he just told him he won 45.6 billion won. He was starting to feel charmed himself, and was scared of what that implied.
"What else are you into? I wanna learn more about you."
"The great Thanos wants to know about a mortal of my level. Such honor." Dae-ho's sarcasm could rival Nam-gyu's. "I... served in the marine, I guess?"
"Is that why you're always hanging around 456's buddy?"
"Yeah. At first it was just because of our shared occupation, but I really grew to respect him after that last game."
Dae-ho couldn't hold back the smile forming at the corner of his lips as he recalled his bond with Jung-bae, and with everyone that came after. The six-legged race was the only time when he could honestly say he had "fun" during his time here. His conversation with Thanos quickly reached the runner-up spot, though. He had to admit, the guy was funny in a ridiculous, he'd-fit-right-at-home-at-a-circus way.
"Why are you always hanging around 124?"
"You mean Nam-su? He just kinda follows me around, I don't know how to get rid of him." Thanos shook his head and sighed with an overdramatic tone. "Maybe throwing some food on the ground and running the opposite way would help?"
At that, Dae-ho couldn't help but chuckle. Thanos smiled wide (as if he ever stopped since this conversation started), feeling proud of himself for getting such a reaction from Dae-ho.
"Okay, so you don't like my music, but what kind of music do you like then?"
"Why? Are you going to use them as inspiration?" Dae-ho chuckled, seeming awfully... nervous.
"I want to know what you're into. Maybe then I'll appeal to you more." Thanos winked, like one does after a bad pick-up line. Except this was said with so much sincerity that Dae-ho couldn't help but feel weirdly touched.
"Eh, y'know... the usual."
"The usual?"
"Yeah... like, y'know... this and that."
"Dude, do you listen to, like, ambiental whale sounds? Why are you hiding from me?" Thanos resumed absolutely disrespecting Dae-ho's personal space, which Dae-ho wasn't very appreciative of. Especially since he got just a bit closer than before.
"I'm not hiding anything! Fuck off!"
"Oooh you totally are! Tell me! Is it really embarrassing?" Thanos closed any remaining distance between the two of them, using one of his hands to lean onto Dae-ho's thigh. Thanos didn't seem aware of doing this, too enchanted by the idea of finding out Dae-ho's secret.
"Hey, you're a little close..." Dae-ho's plea fell on deaf ears as Thanos kept rambling on, bombarding him with questions until he annoyed him enough that he gave in.
"Listen, I don't judge. I'm the man for keeping secrets. Like how I've never told anyone about Nam-su's balding- ah, though I guess I shouldn't say that. Just pretend you didn't hear it. I keep all the other secrets though!"
And with each sentence, he leaned in further. Dae-ho could feel most of his weight push onto his thigh, his other hand grabbing his shoulder for balance. But Dae-ho couldn't feel the pain, he was too busy looking at the length of his fingers, the way the weight pressing into his leg felt just the tiniest bit pleasurable. He averted his eyes from the scene to stop thinking about it, but instead his eyes remained focused on Thanos' neck. He watched it bob with every excited sentence that he flung out of his mouth, and when that proved too distracting his eyes went lower... looking at the curve of his collarbone... feeling his own neck grow weirdly tight...
Dae-ho gulped. Marine be damned, it prepared him for war, but not for this.
"Fine! It's k-pop! I fucking love k-pop boy bands!" Dae-ho yelled out, turning some heads, but he couldn't care about that right now. Finally, Thanos seemed satisfied, so he backed off and sat onto the bed.
"THAT'S what you were so embarrassed about?" Thanos laughed maniacally, finally at a respectable distance.
"My sisters were really into it... so I ended up listening to a lot of it growing up, whether I liked it or not... I only listen to the older stuff though, like, second generation."
"It's okay, buddy, I don't judge." Thanos patted him on the shoulder, a little bit mockingly.
"You totally do."
"I don't!"
"Then why are you laughing?"
"I'm always laughing, baby!" Thanos proceeded to laugh even harder, putting a full on English accent on that last word.
Dae-ho was more embarrassed than he'd like to admit, embarrassed enough to let the dumb nickname slip. Whatever, it wasn't the first one and it wasn't gonna be the last one, anyway. He was hiding his face behind his palms, praying that the red of his skin doesn't somehow seep into his hands. Thanos found it cute, but he knew laughing more would just make things worse, so he abstained from doing the impossible.
"Hey. I'm serious, it just ain't that deep. Before I made it big as a rapper," Big is debatable, "I... I tried to be one myself. An idol. It was a period in my life that lasted approximately two days, but it happened."
"Wh-what?"
"Yeah." Thanos was avoiding his gaze, which was just begging for more details.
"What came of that?"
"Nothing. Those shitfaced managers told me I wasn't pretty enough for it. Whatever. Like they knew what pretty looked like, with those monkey features."
Dae-ho burst out laughing the more Thanos mumbled, probably cursing out his past self for even attempting to enter such a cringe industry. The rapper was looking away as he rambled, but once he caught a glimpse of happiness on Dae-ho's face, he couldn't help but smile. He smiled so much around him lately that his face was starting to hurt, but he didn't mind it one bit.
He couldn't believe one could replicate the effects of drugs just by... talking to someone.
Dae-ho couldn't quite relate to the drugs thing, but his thoughts were similar. With how Thanos' presence felt more uplifting than it should be. Another wave of his thoughts were focused on Thanos' face and finding it ridiculous that he wasn't considered attractive with such features, but they quickly got scattered and locked within his mind, never to be accessed again.
"Liking k-pop is not stupid. Y'know what is?” Thanos bumped his knees into Dae-ho's, after which he tapped his finger against Dae-ho's forehead suggestively. "Pretending you don't like what you like."
Thanos was the one most deserving of saying this. After all, he never hid how much he liked chaos, or how much he liked rapping, or how much he liked Dae-ho
Dae-ho swatted his hand away, albeit more affectionately.
"What's with the life lessons, dumbass? You think you're superior or somethin'?"
"Of course I am. After all, I'm the Legend-"
"Thanos. Yeah, we know your name already." Dae-ho laughed, unsure if he was laughing at him or with him. At this, Thanos pouted in a way that Dae-ho totally didn't think was endearing.
"What's with all the disrespect, huh?!" Thanos said, crossing his arms. He probably wanted to look like a tough guy, but Dae-ho thought he fit more the vibe of a sassy mean girl. "Watch how you talk to your elders!"
"Elders? You?" Dae-ho doubled over in laughter. "I find that hard to believe."
"Yeah, I'll prove it to you then. How old are you?"
"No, you say it first." Dae-ho firmly said.
"Huh? I mean, I will, but why?"
"If I say it first, then you'll probably lie and say you're older anyway."
"Ah, that's a good idea." Thanos said so genuinely that it was Dae-ho who felt stupid for thinking he'd come up with something like that. "Well, I'm born in 1993. Can't do the math? That means I'm-"
"You're 31?!" Dae-ho said, genuinely surprised. Thanos was definitely not upset over the fact that he didn't get a chance to show off his one book smart: quick maths.
"Yeah, and you better not lie about yours!"
"Ugh... I'm 28." Dae-ho admitted his defeat, sighing. Still, he was quite surprised Thanos wasn't younger than him. In all fairness, he made his assumption mostly based on his behaviour. He knew how drugs could affect someone's physical age, and it was equally shocking to find out that they didn't do much to age him. A part of him was also irrationally annoyed. How the hell did he get turned down by a scouting agency when he's aging like fine wine even with ecstasy for breakfast?
"Ha! I win! So now you have to call me hyung." Thanos smiled, playful and cocky at the same time. It would've annoyed Dae-ho if he wasn't slightly taken by surprise.
"There's no way I'm calling you that. You're lucky I don't call you a moron."
When Dae-ho made a move to turn away, Thanos grabbed his chin immediately, turning the attempt into a failure. Dae-ho's never gonna recognize him as his hyung, but he will admit he's got some pretty good reflexes.
Briefly, he thought about what it would be like to have him on their team. He might've been a pain to deal with, but he might have been an asset as well.
That was a thought he forcefully pushed away as soon as it came. Being with a guy like him was too risky. Too unpredictable, and certainly too distracting, since Dae-ho seemed to no longer be able to ignore his presence, attracted like a moth to a flame.
"Hey! Is that how you talk to your hyung? Maybe I should report you to your higher-ups."
At first Thanos made his voice slightly deeper than his normal one, much like the one he uses to rap, until he eventually switched to a whiny tone at the end, a nagging little brother threatening to call mom.
"Jung-bae is sleeping, not even a war breakout will wake him up."
"C'mon, I know you marines thrive on respect." Thanos began shaking Dae-ho back and forth, not too fast, but just fast enough to become annoying. "Did they not teach you that in marine middle school?"
"There's no such thing as marine middle school. Also, if you keep shaking me, I will resort to violence."
"Ah, well I was in the army forever ago, so I kinda forgot about all that stuff."
"You were in the army?!" Dae-ho inquired (yelled) before really thinking about it and wanting to slap himself - of course he was, every man needs to serve in the army for a couple of years when they come of age.
He guessed he just never really thought... that Thanos would have any contact with it. Someone like him definitely felt like the kind that'd manage to escape that fate, somehow. Nothing about it fit his "aesthetic", as Dae-ho remembers Thanos calling it. A traditional occupation governed by a strict set of rules and a sense of national duty was nothing like selling albums, he imagined.
"Yeah, though I misbehaved all the time and got thrown out after just half a year." Like from most places he ever entered, Thanos' brain unhelpfully added, as if it didn't catch onto the fact that he wanted to impress this man yet.
"Do you... regret it?"
"Nah. Why'd you think I misbehaved?"
"I... see."
Dae-ho averted his gaze while trying to come to terms with all this new information, struggling to arrange many conflicting feelings. He never thought Thanos was the older one between the two of them, or that him and Thanos could ever have something in common. It also felt a bit weird to hear somebody actively hate on what Dae-ho considered to be his honor, though he didn't feel offended even slightly. Maybe he didn't take pride in it as much as he...
"I definitely would've liked it if you were there." Thanos cuts the train of thought short. The way he's wiggling his eyebrows has Dae-ho question what cartoon did he come out of.
"I wouldn't."
"I'd make sure you would." Thanos' breath felt warm against Dae-ho's ear, sending him into a state of panic. So much so that he had to move away and cover his ear, to avoid any further harassment.
"C'mon, Dae-ho. Call me hyung. Just this once. Please?"
Thanos got even closer, which was quickly becoming his speciality, since no one else did it better than him. But him being close was old news at his point, it was expected. What caught Dae-ho completely off guard was the sound of his own name on the other's lips, spoken with genuine affection and a husky kind of confidence at the same time. It instantly got his attention, a curveball that Thanos didn't even seem to realize he was throwing.
But it was then that Dae-ho realized his name hasn't been called by anyone other than Jung-Bae here, his real name, not the dehumanizing numerical label on his jacket. And certainly not by an attractive, increasingly pleasant to have around idiot. Something this intimate that made Dae-ho instantly melt under Thanos' ray, who was hilariously unaware of the inner turmoil that he was wrecking inside him.
Finally, to Thanos' delight, he relents.
"I don't know how much you're deserving of it, hyung."
Dae-ho kept a safe distance from Thanos, in case he decided to jump him like a dog again.
"I'm very deserving, I- OHHH!" It took Thanos a moment to process it, but when he did, he gasped with delight. His eyes lit up like a dog receiving a treat, and Dae-ho was starting to regret his decision when he saw his ego inflating in real time. "Maaan, now I know why people insist on honorifics and shit. Feels good."
"Don't let it get to your head, it's not happening again."
"Oh, c’mooon." Thanos whined and latched onto his arm. Dae-ho was starting to get annoyed with how clingy he was. Not necessarily because he disliked the action, but he hated the burning sensation it left afterwards, how he became hyper aware of every touch of his. It made him feel exposed. "Do it for your hyung. Be nice to him."
"No, too many people are nice to hyung. It'll make him spoiled."
"Saying it like it's a bad thing. I know you liked it too." Thanos cooed, poking Dae-ho's cheek. God, was this guy really older than him?
"Did not."
"You did! C'mon, I like it when you say it. It's hot."
They were surrounded by people, light chatter and footsteps echoing all around them. Still, the world went silent for Dae-ho. Something about his words made him freeze. It’s not like he didn't know Thanos was into him, it was obvious- shit, he might be into him too. But having him outright say it, acknowledge his attraction, felt too much for Dae-ho, especially when he was so damn close too.
Thanos didn't think much of it, but seeing Dae-ho's reaction, even he realized he must've said something wrong.
"Do you really think that?" Dae-ho says, breaking Thanos from his own state of reverie. Frankly, he's just happy that Dae-ho spoke up first, and he nods vigorously. He doubts Dae-ho saw him though, he was only looking down at his feet.
"Hey, Dae-"
"-HO! KANG DAE-HO!"
Dae-ho instantly turns to look at the source - Jung-bae, sitting a few feet away, waving frantically to gain his attention. Dae-ho had two too many attention seekers to keep up with. He yelled something about a team meeting, with Gi-hun standing next to him, desperately trying to get him to quiet down - an impossible task.
To put an end to this show, Dae-ho abruptly stood up, signaling them to wait. Thanos immediately followed suit and grabbed his hand in an attempt to keep him for at least a minute longer. It was an unnecessary action. Unlike their previous meetings, Dae-ho never intended to leave without saying goodbye in the first place.
"Do you really need to go?"
"What do you want me to do, stay here with you forever?"
"Yes?" Thanos' puppy eyes reappeared, this time tuned to perfection. It was hard for Dae-ho to refuse him, but not impossible.
"As usual, you're incredibly childish, hyung."
"I can be something else, if that's your type."
"No." Slowly, Dae-ho's lips curled into a smile that almost made Thanos glad to have kissed him that first time. If only to give him an excuse to talk to him now and experience this, an entirely new kind of euphoria no one could capture in a bottle.
Then, Dae-ho moved to rake his nails against Thanos' hair, making him almost forget how to breathe.
"So..." Thanos spoke once he remembered how words worked, one hand scratching the back of his neck and the other used as support against the wall next to him. "See you around?"
"Yeah. See you around."
Thanos didn't miss the way Dae-ho walked slowly, as if to prolong their time together ever so slightly. Or maybe his mind was just broken from all the drugs. Then Dae-ho finally turned around and waved, leaving Thanos to fend for himself in a cruel, cruel world devoid of his beloved's presence and containing that of Nam-gyu's.
Then it hits him.
"DAE-HO!"
He sees Dae-ho turn around, looking... more expectant than he'd thought. It does a couple interesting things to his heart. Suddenly, he feels the impulse to do something, one last thing, but he doesn't quite know what, so he just introduces himself.
Properly, this time.
"Choi." Thanos says, which only makes Dae-ho confused. For some reason, Thanos feels a weight pressing onto his chest as he's about to say his name. How long has it been since he introduced himself like that? How long since the man in the mirror was swallowed by Thanos, never to be seen again? "Choi Su-bong. That's me."
Dae-ho looked at him dumbfounded before laughing softly. Thanos can barely hear it with the distance between them. He wishes he could record the moment just to raise the volume and hear his laugh again and again and again...
"Kang Dae-ho. Nice meeting you."
Thanos smiled, before Player 390 yelled out again. Dae-ho cringed at the noise, looking at his teammates, then at Thanos. He shrugged, rolled his eyes as if to say "yeah, he is always like that" and turned around. He raised his hand and waved it weakly, and Thanos stood stupidly still as he watched him leave.
It took him a few minutes to get his shit back together. Once he did, he automatically started going back to his team. He didn't consciously make the choice, it was as if his body moved on its own, his brain too busy ping pong-ing between euphoria and an indescribable feeling of emptiness. He felt like he just gained a great thing, yet its absence was just as prevalent. The thought of Dae-ho gave him energy, but his absence gave him nothing besides ennui.
"Look who's back." Nam-gyu said, resting on a top bunk. "So? How'd it go with 'the girl'? Is she still mad at you?"
Thanos' neck suddenly snapped up, looking straight at him. He squinted. Then, as if possessed, he started to smile and giggle like Nam-gyu's face was the funniest thing he's ever seen.
"What the fuck. That's creepy, stop it." He says that, but Thanos couldn't care less.
After all, Nam-gyu just did a great thing, reminding him of where he started. Indeed, he initially went just to beg Dae-ho for forgiveness. And while he achieved just that, he went even further. If Dae-ho would allow him the audacity, he'd even call him his friend now. The monumental scale of his success only now dawned on him. Why should he be upset? This is ground for celebration, dammit!
He searched the room for Min-su, his buddy, and walked towards him with the tenacity of a predator chasing prey. Min-su shuddered as Thanos grabbed onto his shoulder, smiling from ear to ear.
"You're so smart, Min-su." Thanos said and ruffled his hair, before turning around once again. "Anyway, I'll go take a piss. See ya."
Min-su blinked, unsure what to feel anymore but certain Thanos awakened something within him. Unfortunately, Nam-gyu sighed and groaned, making his happiness be replaced by dread.
"Go fuck yourself, Min-su."