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“I can't do this anymore.”
Hartley does not look at Cisco – no, Reverb, as he insists on being called now. It would hurt too much.
“Are you leaving me?”
“Yes. You're trying to give me the world but that's not what I want. I've only ever wanted you, but I was never enough for you, was I? You need to prove yourself to everyone, so you work for Zoom and you – gosh, you changed so much. I don't even recognize you anymore.”
Reverb says nothing.
“We used to be happy,” Hartley continues. “What happened to San Francisco? We were going to leave this damned city behind, start a new life.”
Still that silence stretching between them, putting them apart and digging holes in their soul.
“Are you even listening to me?” Hartley cries out.
“Yes.”
Cisco's voice is cold, impersonal, and it hurts more than anger.
“Say something! Stop standing there! Just say something!”
“I knew this would happen. I saw it.”
Hartley's heart shatters, the pieces falling in his chest, making him drown in his own lungs. He wants to throw up. The world is spinning around him.
Reverb still does not move, emotionless as ever.
“You knew?” Hartley croaks. “You knew and you did nothing to change it?”
“I might be a villain now, but I am not going to force you to stay with me.”
“Why am I even bothering? You don't want to hear it. You refuse to understand. I'm just, I'm done.”
He turns, tears threatening to fall down his face, but he is stopped by Reverb's hand on his wrist.
“Hart...”
He wants to look at his lover's face, yet he fights the need back. He could never leave if he looked back.
“I'm sorry.”
“No, you're not sorry,” Hartley whispers. “If you were, you'd leave Central City with me.”
“I can't.”
“Then, you're not sorry.”
Cisco drops his wrist and steps back.
“Goodbye Hartley.”
One year ago
Cisco is the happiest man on Earth. Sure, his family does not talk to him, he has no job and he only has three friends who can barely stand him, but he is happy.
In his pocket sits a tiny red box. Inside this box, there is a silver ring.
Tonight, he is going to propose to the love of his life.
Whistling a merry tune he heard on the radio, he walks to the flat he shares with Hartley. It is cold outside and he wants to go back to his man as soon as possible. Hartley had to give more music lessons to make meets end.
For the first time in a while, they have a date night planned and nothing is coming in the way.
At the exact moment he thinks that, Zoom materializes in front of him.
“Hello, Cisco,” he says.
“How do you know my name? What do you want?”
He is sure Zoom smiles behind the mask, and it sends cold shivers down his spine.
“You are going to work for me.”
“What? No!”
“I know about your powers, Reverb. You help me or I kill Hartley Rathaway.”
Cisco's blood freeze in his veins.
“Don't think about running away, you can't. I will find you and I will make you watch as I kill the man you love.”
No, no, it cannot be happening. He must be having a nightmare, this is not real, it can't be, no, please, no.
“What do you say, Cisco?”
He takes a deep breath to calm himself.
“What do you want me to do?”
Cisco does not tell Hartley.
He knows him, he knows he would want to run away. It is too dangerous, and Cisco won't risk Hartley's life. He'd rather die than have him hurt.
He tries to hide it at first. Hartley is too smart for his own good and he figures it out soon enough.
It's their first huge fight.
Cisco wishes he could be selfless and that he could send Hartley away. He can't.
Despite everything, Hartley stays with him. They fight a lot because Hartley does not understand, and slowly, Hartley starts hating Reverb.
Cisco tries to feel less and less, he pretends he is as heartless as Zoom.
Hartley leaves.
Cisco finally stops being selfish.
He lets him go.
Other Cisco is exactly who he wishes he still was. He is the man Hartley fell in love with.
Maybe, if he gets him to work with him, they can overthrow Zoom's reign of terror and starts a new one, a better one, with Hartley at his side.
Of course, he should have expected Other Cisco to put up a fight. He still believes he has a chance to save everyone, still the worst kind of optimistic idiot. Desperation will change that.
Pushing him in the face is the most cathartic thing he has ever done, and how screwed up is that?
He lashes out on the speedster, he is so angry at everything, everyone. He is nothing like Other Cisco, not anymore.
Oh, he should have known Zoom would come.
Killer Frost cries out as she watches the man she loves dies. Reverb knows he is next, but at least he won't have to suffer through that.
Hartley will be safe.
“What did I say if you should encounter a speedster?”
“Leave him unharmed.”
“Does this look unharmed to you?”
Cisco Ramon's last thought is for Hartley and the ring that still sits in his pocket.
Then everything goes black.
Dear Hartley,
I know you are mad at me, and you have every reason to be. I should have told you when I was alive, but I couldn't stand the thought of you feeling guilty.
I should have sent you away sooner, but I love you too much to say goodbye. Until I realized that me loving was the reason I had to let you go.
And I did, but I'm still selfish. So I'm telling you the truth, because I can't stand the thought of you hating me even after I'm dead.
Zoom threatened you, that's why I started working for him. I didn't want to, not at first. But I gotta confess that the idea of power got to me.
I'm sorry Hart, you deserved better.
I hope that you find the strength to forgive me, and I hope that you move on and learn to love again. I am so sorry for everything that I've done and haven't done, but I'll never be sorry for protecting you.
Now that I'm dead, Zoom won't care about you anymore, so run away. Go to San Francisco, start the life we dreamed of.
I was going to propose last year. I just got the ring when Zoom came to me. I still keep it on me, a reminder that what I'm doing is for the right reason, even if it seems wrong to you.
Goodbye Hartley,
I will always love you.
Your Cisco.
Pain.
All he can feel is pain.
Where is he? What's going on?
Is he dead?
He should be dead.
“You're an idiot.”
At last, Cisco opens his eyes and meets the ones of his lover.
“Hart?”
He feels so tired, he is so confused.
Why isn't he dead?
“Zoom is gone.”
“How?”
“Does it matter?”
No, no, it doesn't.
“Where are we?”
“San Francisco.”
“I don't understand, I should be dead.”
Hartley looks exhausted, as if a simple breeze would make him crumble.
“Yeah, you almost did. I don't know how, but you survived Zoom, and when I found you, you were barely breathing. It's a miracle.”
“I'm sorry.”
“Me too.”
“For what?”
“I read your letter, the one you wrote for when you'd die. You should have told me.”
“I'm sorry,” Cisco repeats.
Hartley does not answer, but he takes Cisco's hand and brings it to his mouth and kisses it. They stay silent for a long time, but it is not the kind of silence that makes you want to escape the room.
It's a silence full of unspoken promises and hopes for the future.
“What now?” Cisco asks when the sun has set.
“I don't know, but... We're finally here, we could start over, if you'd want.”
“Yes, I'd like that.”
Hartley smiles a real smile for the first time in months.
They will not let this second chance go rotten, they already lost each other once, they won't let it happen again.