Chapter Text
Regina George was not ready for senior year.
If a summer full of physical therapy and constant back pain could have prepared her for anything, it would not have been going back to high school. She had almost managed to convince her mom to hire her a private tutor to let her finish her final year at home, but then of course there was some random online article about how socialization was supposed to be good for you after going through trauma, and that option went out the window.
So now she was back at North Shore for one last year, walking through the hallways with her back straight and eyes focused forward (as if the brace would let her do anything else). If she just ignored everyone, she could get through this. Right?
--
“Janis, you need to be careful with that.”
Damian was reaching for the phone in Janis’s hands as she playfully pulled it out of reach.
“Careful with what?” Cady asked as she sat down at their lunch table, Karen and Gretchen following close behind.
“It’s nothing,” Janis mumbled quickly. She must have dropped her guard down just enough at the arrival of the three; Damian seized the opportunity to snatch the phone.
“This.” He pushed the phone in Cady’s face. “It’s called Q-Space. I know, the name needs work.”
“So, what, it’s like a training program for astronauts?” Karen chimed in.
Damian rolled his eyes at her, then turned back to Cady. “It’s a chat app for queer people. Totally anonymous.” He looked pointedly at Janis. “Totally dangerous.”
Janis shrugged and swiftly grabbed her phone back. “It’s not a big deal.”
“I don’t know Janis,” Cady started. “It seems kind of scary.”
Janis let out a dramatic sigh. “I’m just talking to some people. It’s really nothing.”
Damian huffed. “Not just some people.”
“Damian, don’t—”
“She’s talking to one person. Some random girl called Rex who says she just happens to be from around here but conveniently won’t mention her real name.”
“She doesn’t know my real name either,” Janis pointed out. “That’s kind of the point.”
This wasn’t the first time Damian gave her a hard time about this. And yes, she loved him and Cady, and was just kind of getting used to Karen and Gretchen, but there was something about this girl. She seemed to get her more than anyone else did.
“Which is probably why she told you she doesn’t want to meet in person!”
With that Cady’s eyes opened wide. “Are you seriously thinking about that? That can’t be safe.”
“It’s not,” Damian agreed.
“What about that girl from Spring Fling? You two seemed cute,” Gretchen asked.
“She’s in college now,” Janis explained, “some school on the other side of the county. Don’t ask me which one. Besides, we’re just friends.”
Suddenly, Karen started tapping Gretchen on the shoulder and pointing towards the center of the cafeteria. Everyone at their table looked over.
Regina was standing there, tray in hand, staring back at them. Quickly, as soon as she made eye contact with Janis, she turned on her heel and left the room.
Quiet fell over the table. Of course, they all knew they would see Regina. It was inevitable. But after a whole summer of not hearing anything remotely about the person who basically used to be the queen of high school, it seemed like she might just disappear altogether.
Now, she just looked so small.
“We should invite her to sit with us,” Karen said hopefully, to which Damian and Gretchen immediately responded in sync, “Absolutely not.”
Janis and Cady looked at each other, both of them about to say something, but both of them deciding otherwise.
--
Regina sat through lunch in the bathroom that day. It had been stupid of her to stand there like some lost puppy. Karen was the only one who even bothered trying to reach out over the summer.
She took out her phone and stared at all of the texts from Karen. Some get well wishes, some random animal memes, and a lot of weirdly sweet questions about what it was like being a robot now, but Regina never responded to any of them.
Regina opened another chat and started typing:
I don’t know how to talk to anyone here
why are you so easy to talk to?
She barely touched the food on her plate before the bell rang.
--
“She wants to meet now.”
Janis was sat between Damian and Cady on her couch, both who immediately started looking over her shoulder at her phone. She started shrinking into her seat, trying to hid her growing smile.
“Are you sure about this?” Cady asked.
Ever since they had talked about it at lunch a few weeks ago, Janis hadn’t stopped texting her, but she did stop bringing up the subject about meeting in person.
“I didn’t even ask this time. She asked me,” Janis explained. She looked over at Damian, who was being uncharacteristically quiet. “Look, I know you don’t like this, but I think I really like her.” It was almost painful to admit. Janis didn’t like getting her hopes up about anything, but especially not about stuff like this. “Do you want to come with me? There’s an art show next Sunday, and I was gonna go anyways, and it’s totally public.” She tugged at the sleeve of Damian’s shirt and leaned into him. “Please? Please please please?”
“Okay, we’ll go.” He offered a small smile, and Janis practically tackled him off the couch. “But I tell you, if she even looks the tiniest bit shady, I’m not afraid to hit a girl.”
--
After the day she got caught with nowhere to sit in the cafeteria, Regina stopped going altogether. She knew she wasn’t the first girl to eat (or in her case, mostly sit) in the bathroom for lunch, and she wasn’t going to be the last.
Besides, it gave her a chance to adjust her back brace in peace, without anyone staring. They did that enough already. Everyone looked at her like she was about to break, even if they couldn’t see the brace under the hoodies that she now wore consistently. It was exhausting.
--
Janis was getting worried.
It had already been twenty minutes since Damian and her got to the gallery, twenty minutes since she had texted a description of the two of them, and no one had shown up. Worse, she hadn’t even gotten a response.
“Maybe I should text her again?” she said as she paced back and forth between two of the sculptures on display. “It’s weird that she’s not saying anything, right?”
Damian stepped in front of her, stopping her. “Girl, you are making everyone here nervous. You’ve gotta stop before these statues start walking out of here too. Breathe.”
“But maybe I wasn’t clear enough…”
“Look around. How many girls with blue highlights and a fabulously black gay boys do you see here standing together? If she was here, she would have seen us by now. I mean, look at me.”
Janis had been right. She shouldn’t have gotten her hopes up.
“This was stupid.”
Damian pulled her into a hug. “Look, you said she wasn’t out, right? Maybe things just got too real. It’s scary, you know that.”
She nodded into his shoulder. “I know. I just wish she would’ve told me.”
As she pulled away, Janis heard the bell above the gallery doors ring, and she immediately looked over to see the person leaving.
“Regina?”
Damian spun around, and they both watched slack-jawed through the gallery windows as Regina practically ran away from the building.
“Look both ways!” Damian shouted after her, drawing concerned looks from the other guests. Janis playfully punched him in the shoulder. “Sorry. Ugh, what was she even doing here?”
“No idea.”
--
Regina was not ready for this.
How could she be? She couldn’t even handle eating in the cafeteria, not in front of everyone, not with them all looking at her.
This was way beyond that.
She started typing—
I’m sorry.
—but she never hit send.
--
At school the next day, lunch happened the same way it always did. Janis sat with her friends, which somehow now included both Gretchen and Karen. (They had both grown on her: Gretchen with her newfound confidence and Karen’s surprising intellect, though Janis would never admit it.)
Damian started regaling the group with his story of the previous night. How Janis was stood up, and then, how Regina was weirdly there before running away.
Throughout it all, Janis couldn’t focus. She mumbled a brief “no” when Cady asked if she had heard anything from Rex since, but otherwise, she was too distracted waiting for Regina. Whatever that was last night, she needed to know.
But Regina didn’t show. Lunch was halfway over, and there was no sign of her.
Janis sighed. She should have known.
“I’ll see you later,” she said as she stood up from the table, prompting looked of concern from everyone except Karen, who waved her off.
Cady started, “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. Just gotta take care of something.” At that, Damian raised an eyebrow, but Janis shrugged it off. “It’s fine.”
With that, she left the lunchroom and took off down the hallway to the nearest bathroom: the same one that Cady had sought shelter in last year. Was this her thing now: talking to girls hiding in stalls?
“Regina?”
No answer.
“Listen, I know that’s you in there. And I know you’re probably not gonna say anything, so I’m gonna talk, and all you have to do is listen. Deal?”
Still nothing. Janis hopped up on the sink and stared at the closed door in front of her. This hadn’t been her plan when she walked in here (she’s not sure if there was a plan at all, to be honest), but she was suddenly glad there was a door between them as she kept talking.
“So… I’m sorry, okay? Last year—don’t get me wrong, you deserved a lot of it—but that shit with the Kalteen bars… I know what you’re like when it comes to food, so I’m really sorry. It was too far.”
“Don’t,” Regina mumbled, barely audible.
“And, like, I see you, you know? Even when you do bother getting something, it’s barely anything. I get that it’s hard, but—”
Suddenly, the stall door was thrown open. Regina’s eyes were red; the tears were still on her cheeks. “I said, don’t.”
Janis hopped down from the sink. Even though she was taller, Regina looked so small. The oversized hoodie she was wearing completely enveloped her. After everything, it felt wrong to see her like this.
“Okay,” she sighed.
What was she even doing?
“I’m only going to say this once.” Although she refused to look up from the ground in front of her, Regina’s voice still had that bite to it, like nothing had changed. But then, she looked up, and the confidence disappeared. “I’m sorry too.”
Even back at Spring Fling, when Regina had been high on painkillers and clinging to Janis like a lifeline, she never once showed a hint a remorse. Janis had been able to handle her like that: uninhibited, needy, acting like nothing had happened. But this?
Janis didn’t know how to handle this.
“So,” she started, reminding herself why she came here in the first place, but also desperate to change the subject, “the art show.”
Regina pushed past her and started washing her face. Lunch was almost over now; Janis wasn’t sure if she was just buying time or was genuinely trying to clean herself up before going back to class. Maybe both.
“Regina,” she pushed.
Regina dramatically rolled her eyes and moved to the door. “I didn’t know you were going to be there.” Then she left, like somehow that would explain everything.
“But you don’t even like art,” Janis whispered to the empty stall.