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After Daiyu Mei’s arrest and the chaos of the cipher, Steve had finally left Hawaii. He carried nothing but a bag and the weight of every scar, every loss, every time Danny had almost died because of him. Exhausted, hollowed out, he went searching for air somewhere else.
Danny didn’t stop him. He couldn’t. Steve had that look, the one that said fighting him would only make him dig in deeper. And Danny knew the truth: you can’t hold onto someone who’s already drowning. So he let him go. Told himself it was what Steve needed...space, freedom, peace.
He didn’t tell himself how much it hurt.
Two weeks passed, slow and sharp all at once. Life moved forward, the way it always does, even when you’re stuck. Grace called from college with stories of classes and dorm life, and Danny listened, smiling even when the ache in his chest stayed put. Charlie bounced between him and Rachel, their weekends of cartoons and board games dragging Danny out of his own head whether he wanted it or not. Lou checked in, sometimes with a case of beer, sometimes with nothing more than quiet company on the porch.
Mornings were the hardest. Danny walked the dog along the beach, the leash in one hand, the ocean breeze in his face. The waves still rolled, the sand still pressed warm under his shoes, but it all felt different. Wrong, somehow. Empty.
Here and there, his phone buzzed. A text from Steve. Nothing elaborate just "I’m ok. Hope you’re resting." Once, only a picture of the sky with no words attached. Danny answered the same way, short and simple.
It wasn’t much. But it was something.
And right now, something was all he had.
-
Another week, then two, slipped by in the same dull rhythm, days filled with routine, nights stretched thin with silence. Danny told himself he was getting used to it, to the spaces Steve had left behind. But the truth was, he was only learning how to live around the ache.
The night was quiet. Too quiet. Danny sat slouched in his chair on the lanai, the dog asleep at his feet, the ocean whispering in the dark. He’d almost gotten used to the silence by now, to the empty spaces where Steve used to be. Almost.
The beer on the table had gone warm hours ago, untouched. Danny stared past it, at the horizon swallowed by darkness, listening to the waves roll in and out like a metronome to a life that felt offbeat. Some nights, the stillness felt like a blessing. Tonight, it pressed on him like a weight.
His phone buzzed against the table. Danny reached for it without thinking, expecting maybe a message from Grace about some college drama, or Lou checking in with his usual half-joking, half-serious “you good, brother?”
But it wasn’t either of them.
It was Steve.
A single text.
"I can’t breathe."
Danny sat up straight, heart pounding in his chest, the air leaving his lungs in a rush. His thumbs flew across the screen before his brain even caught up.
"What happened? Where are you?"
The dots blinked. Stopped. Started again. His chest tightened with each pause.
"I think I made a mistake."
A beat later : " I can’t breathe, Danny."
Danny’s mouth went dry. His pulse roared in his ears. He didn’t waste another second, he hit call, his heart lodged somewhere between his throat and his ribs.
“Steve? Steve, talk to me.”
At first, all he heard was breathing...ragged, shallow, uneven, like Steve was choking on air. The kind of sound that dragged Danny right back to hospital rooms and firefights, nights when he thought he’d lose him.
Then, finally, a voice, cracked and broken: “Danny.”
Danny’s grip tightened around the phone. Relief and terror hit him all at once. “Yeah, I’m here, babe, I’m right here. Tell me what’s going on.”
Steve’s breath was unsteady, uneven. “I can’t... I can’t breathe. I...”
Danny shut his eyes, forcing down the panic rising in his chest. He wanted to yell, to demand answers...where the hell are you, what happened, why are you alone...but none of that mattered. Not now. What mattered was keeping him tethered, keeping him safe, even from across however many miles.
“Okay, listen to me,” Danny said, softer now, steady in a way he didn’t feel. His voice dropped low, coaxing, grounding. “Take a breath with me. Through your nose. Inhale slow. Can you do this for me? Right now. In.”
He exaggerated his own inhale, loud and deliberate so Steve could hear it through the line.
There was a hitch, a stutter, then a shaky inhale on the other end.
“That’s it,” Danny whispered. “Good. Now exhale. Slow. Push it out. You remember when you did this for me? That night in the hospital, when I was all busted up and thought I was gonna lose it? You kept me steady. You told me to breathe. I’m telling you now. Inhale. Exhale. With me, Steve.”
Another broken sound, then Steve followed again, uneven but trying.
“Good. That’s it. I’ve got you. Just me and you, alright? Inhale. Exhale. Just like that. Again.”
Seconds stretched like hours. Danny could feel his own heartbeat slam against his ribs, but he forced his voice calm, over and over, until the jagged breaths on the other end began to slow.
“You’re okay, Steven,” Danny said, almost pleading now, but still steady. “You’re not alone. I’ve got you, the same way you had me. Just breathe with me. In. Out. That’s it. Just us, okay?”
Little by little, Steve’s frantic breathing evened out. Still shaky, but steadier. Every exhale less desperate than the last.
Danny stayed quiet for a beat, just listening. Not calm, not yet, but at least not splintering him apart. His fingers ached from how hard he was gripping the phone, his chest tight like he’d been holding his own lungs hostage until he knew Steve wasn’t about to vanish on the other end of the line.
“Better,” Danny murmured finally. His voice was low, careful, the way he’d talk to Charlie after a nightmare. “That’s better, babe. You’re doin’ good.”
On the other end, Steve’s breath shuddered. He didn’t say anything.
Danny leaned back in his chair, rubbed at his eyes. “Alright. You scared the hell outta me, Steven. You don’t just text me ‘I can’t breathe’ like that. You hear me? You don’t do that.” His voice cracked, not from anger, but from something rawer, thinner.
A long silence, then Steve’s voice...hoarse, cracked wide open. “I think I made a mistake.”
Danny swallowed. “What mistake?” he asked, soft, coaxing, like if he pushed too hard Steve would crumble and hang up.
“Leaving.” The word fell heavy, almost strangled. “You. The island. Everything. I thought… I thought if I left… if I disappeared… you’d finally be safe. You and the kids. Everyone I love gets hurt because of me. Because my family is hell and my name is a curse...”
Danny’s chest squeezed so tight he almost couldn’t speak. “Safe? You think this feels safe? Sitting here, not knowing where the hell you are, if you’re eating, if you’re alive? That’s not safe, babe. That’s torture.”
Silence again, except for Steve’s breathing, steadier now but still fragile, like glass that could break at the smallest word.
“I thought,” Steve whispered, “I did this… I do this to protect you. Even if I can’t stop thinking that maybe I walked away from the only thing keeping me alive...”
Danny closed his eyes, pain twisting sharp in his chest. His voice cracked when he answered. “God, Steve, you can’t say that to me. How do you want me to accept this? You don’t… babe, how many times do I have to tell you this? You’re not responsible for your family’s mess. You’re not responsible for what happened to me! Daiyu Mei is, her and her crazy husband started this stupid war. Your mother too, maybe, but not you. All you did was try to help, to save me...and you did! You did save me, Steve. I’m alive. I’m healing. I’m breathing. And so are you.”
On the other end, a jagged inhale. Then Steve’s voice, thinner than Danny had ever heard it: “Danny… you don’t understand. I really… I really thought I would lose you this time. I couldn’t find you. I thought I was gonna lose my mind. And then, when I finally did, you were bleeding out in my arms, your pulse fading. Even the doctors said it was a close call.”
His breath caught like a sob, a sound that shattered something inside Danny. He gripped the phone tighter, wishing he could cross the miles in a single step.
“Babe,” Danny whispered, throat burning, “I’m here. You saved me.”
A silence, filled only by Steve’s uneven breaths. Then, almost broken: “I prayed, Danny. I went to the chapel at the hospital and prayed for hours. I begged Him to save you. I asked Him to take me instead. I couldn’t...”
Steve’s voice cracked into silence, the kind that said the rest of the words had drowned in tears he didn’t want to admit to.
Danny pressed the phone harder to his ear, as if the force alone could keep Steve from slipping away again. His voice was low, shaking, but carried an edge sharp enough to cut. “You don’t get to decide that. You don’t get to ask to trade your life for mine. Not for me. Not ever.”
On the other end, Steve let out a shaky exhale, almost a broken laugh. “Danny, don’t you see? That’s exactly why I left. If I stay, if I keep pulling you into my storm, one day I won’t be fast enough, or strong enough. One day I won’t save you. And I can’t,” his voice cracked, “I can’t watch you die because of me.”
A pause. Then: “Danny, listen… I know we never talked about it, but I need to tell you this once.” A shaky breath, like the words themselves cost him everything. “I love you, Danny. I’ve loved you so long I stopped counting. But that’s why I need to disappear from your life, because if something happened to you because of me, I couldn’t forgive myself. I wouldn’t survive it.”
Danny froze, the words slamming into him harder than any bullet ever could. His throat closed up, his vision blurred, and for a moment he couldn’t breathe either, not from panic, but from the sheer weight of finally hearing what he’d always known but never thought Steve would say out loud.
“Jesus, Steven…” Danny whispered, dragging a hand down his face as a tear slid free. He laughed, but it was broken, jagged. “You finally say it, and it’s like this?” His voice sharpened, raw with anger that wasn’t anger at all but heartbreak.
Steve’s breath hitched. “Danny...”
“No, shut up. Listen to me for once.” Danny’s voice rose, fierce, trembling. “You say you love me? Then hear me when I tell you: leaving me doesn’t protect me, it kills me. Having you here, with me, that’s what keeps me safe, Steven! Don’t you see that?”
His voice cracked, sharp with desperation. “And if not for me, what about the kids? The kids, Steve. Charlie and Grace. They love you. What the hell am I supposed to say to them if you vanish? Charlie keeps asking about you, you know. You’re his hero. And Gracie… god, Steve, she’s become so much like you it’s scary. They call you uncle, but they look at you like a father. They trust you. They love you. You disappearing? You’d break their hearts.”
On the other end, Steve’s breath caught hard, a sound that was almost a sob. His voice came hoarse, cracked wide open. “Don’t, Danny. Don’t bring the kids into this. I already hate myself enough for walking away from you. But them… if I’ve hurt them too…” His voice trailed, splintering into silence. “I never wanted to be someone they lost faith in.”
Danny’s chest ached at the broken honesty but he pressed on, voice cracking but relentless, every word tearing out of him. “Look—yeah, each close call I had, you were there. But it was also you who saved me every single time. Daiyu Mei? YOU found me and YOU got me to the hospital. The bomb vest? The collapsing building? The quarantine shot? Gracie’s ball hostage situation? That damn pineapple island? You fought tooth and nail to keep me here and alive.”
Danny’s breath stuttered, his vision swimming. He heard Steve’s breathing on the other end, uneven, broken, like the man was crying and trying to hide it.
His voice dropped softer now. “Now… tell me, Steven. How am I supposed to survive if you’re not here with me?”
For a long moment, all Danny could hear was the ocean outside his lanai and the uneven breath of the man he’d spent ten years fighting beside, loving in silence, losing in pieces.
“Danny…” Steve’s voice was a rasp, shredded and weak. “You’d survive. You always do.”
“Bullshit,” Danny snapped, voice breaking. “Don’t you dare put that on me. I survive because of you. I’m alive because of you. You walk away, and maybe the next bullet finishes the job because you’re not there to pull me out. That’s the truth, Steven.”
Steve’s breath stuttered again. “And what if I’m not fast enough next time? What if I can’t stop it?”
“Then we deal with it,” Danny shot back, fierce and trembling. “Like we always do. Together. But you disappearing? That’s not protecting me, babe. That’s killing me slow.”
Silence. Only breath, jagged and heavy, like Steve was breaking in the dark.
“Listen to me,” Danny whispered, coaxing now. “You vanish, I’ll find you. You know I will. Always did. Always do. And if I have to spend every damn day looking, I’ll still find you. Because I can’t,” his voice cracked, “I can’t live without you, Steven. Not anymore.”
There was a sound on the other end, a broken inhale, a choked laugh that was more sob than anything.
“You’re supposed to hate me for this,” Steve murmured, voice barely audible. “I called to say goodbye, Danny. Adieu. I thought I could get the words out, disappear before I lost my nerve. But I couldn’t even do that.”
Danny pressed his hand over his eyes. “You’re right. I should hate you. But I don’t. Because I love you, you big idiot. And I’m not letting you go like this.”
Another silence. Then, slowly, Steve whispered, “I don’t know how to stay.”
Danny let out a rough sound, somewhere between a laugh and a growl. “Of course you don’t. You never know how to stay. All you know is how to run, into fire or away from it. But let me ask you something, Steven.” He sat forward in his chair, gripping the phone so hard his knuckles ached. “What do you want?”
Silence. Just Steve’s uneven breath on the other end.
“I’m serious,” Danny pushed, fierce, raw. “What do you want? Not what you think you owe me, not what you think the universe expects of you. You. Do you really want to disappear? Is that it? Is that what you actually want for yourself?”
Steve’s breath hitched, sharp and broken.
Danny softened, but his voice still cut deep. “Or is it just what you’ve convinced yourself you have to want? Because you think you’re cursed, because you think loving me means I’m doomed, because you think disappearing is the only penance that makes sense?”
Still silence. Danny could picture him, head bowed, jaw tight, unable to face the truth.
“C’mon, babe,” Danny whispered, gentler now. “I’ve known you for ten years. You’ve spent every damn minute carrying everyone else’s pain, cleaning up your family’s mess, trying to fix a world that broke long before you were in it. But what about you, huh? What about what you want, Steven?”
For a long time there was nothing but breathing, uneven, jagged. Then, so soft Danny almost missed it:
“I want you.”
Danny’s throat closed, tears stinging. “Then why the hell are you running from me?”
“Because wanting you,” Steve rasped, “is the one thing that could destroy you. And I couldn’t survive that.”
Danny squeezed his eyes shut, the words hitting like a blade to the heart. He forced himself to breathe before answering, firm but gentle: “Then don’t decide tonight. Don’t go dark on me. Take a few days. A week. Think about what I told you. Think about us. Then you can tell me if you still believe disappearing is the answer.”
His chest ached, the words nearly breaking him, but he forced them out anyway. “I’m terrified, but I’m here with you anyway. And I need you to try to do the same.”
Steve didn’t answer right away. Danny could hear the war in his breath, the weight of ten years of ghosts pressing down. Finally, a whisper: “A week.”
Danny’s voice rose, raw and trembling. “Good. Because if you vanish on me again, Steven, I swear I’ll track you down myself. Don’t think I won’t.”
On the other end, Steve let out a breath that was closer to a sob than a laugh. His voice came low, ragged. “I know you would. That’s what scares me, Danny. That you’d spend your whole life chasing after me… when I’m the one who doesn’t deserve it.”
Danny’s throat tightened, his own breath catching at the sheer broken honesty in Steve’s voice. “Don’t you dare say that,” he whispered, fierce and soft all at once. “Don’t you ever say that again.”
Silence settled again, but softer this time.
“Danny…” Steve’s voice came soft, almost a whisper.
“Yeah?”
“I love you.”
Danny’s throat tightened, tears burning fresh, but his smile was steady. “I know, babe. And I love you. So we’ll figure this out. One step at a time.”
On the other end, Steve exhaled, shaky but lighter. For the first time, it didn’t sound like running.
The line went quiet, but Steve didn’t hang up. He stayed. Breathing. With Danny.
And for the first time in weeks, Danny let himself believe that might be enough.
He shifted in his chair, wiped at his face with the heel of his hand, and let out a breath that came closer to a laugh than a sob. “You hear that?” he murmured after a while, voice gentler now.
“What?” Steve’s voice was hoarse, fragile.
“The ocean. Waves’ve been going at it all night. I’m sitting on the lanai, dog at my feet, beer gone warm. Same view you used to make fun of me for not appreciating.” Danny’s mouth twitched, a half-smile breaking through. “Guess I started noticing now. You’d probably like it tonight. It’s calm.”
On the other end, Steve didn’t answer right away. Just the faint sound of his breathing, steadier now, less ragged. Then, softly, “Tell me more.”
So Danny did. He talked about the stars over the water, the breeze carrying salt and plumeria, how Charlie had laughed himself sick at some cartoon over the weekend, how Grace had called with stories about her roommate’s terrible cooking. Mundane things. Small things. But Steve listened, every inhale and exhale proof that he was still there.
Eventually, Danny’s voice dropped lower, softer, as though he were speaking to the dark itself. “I’ll say it again so you don’t forget, don’t disappear on me, Steven. Not tonight. Not tomorrow. Not without trying.”
A pause. Then, rough but steady, came Steve’s answer: “I won’t. Not tonight.”
Danny closed his eyes, leaned his head back against the chair, and let the sound of Steve’s breathing mix with the ocean. For the first time since the plane had taken him away, Danny felt like maybe Steve wasn’t gone. Not really.
They didn’t say goodnight. Didn’t need to. They just stayed on the line, together in the silence, until the night folded into something almost peaceful.
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