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The Jims are in their room, “Today is a special day, Jim.” RJ says to the camera, that is way too close zoomed in by his brother CJ.
“And why you may ask?” Zooms in more, “Today I’ll be giving you all a sneak peek at a day of the Ipliers. An ordinary day, and yet special, because we will take a look around the manor and see what they’re up to.”
He starts walking in his usual crab walk, “Follow me, Jim.”
CJ follows him, keeping a close zoom in on RJ as they leave their room towards the other bedroom doors, “Let’s see who we find first.”
They walk by a tech-looking door with a blazing G on it, “This is the work room of the Googles, let’s see if they are inside.”
RJ carefully opens the door, CJ zooming in on his brother, and then inside the office.
They see Google behind his desk, Bing standing behind him, both looking intently down at something at the table.
“We must stay quiet, they can not spot us. Let’s see what they do.” RJ whispers to the camera.
Google and Bing are both staring at an iPad, “-And that is how the security system works, you see.”
“Got it, bro. So, they are everywhere around the manor?”
“Well, the public spaces at least. Not the bedrooms of course. That would be a privacy issue.”
Bing nods, “Of course, of course, cool, cool, cool. So, is this all for safety?”
“Of course. We must make sure everyone is safe here, and-“
“So, is it also recording everything?”
Google shot a glance of annoyance at the interruption but then nodded, “Yes. If there is a detection on it.”
“You and your extensions hung them all up? Why didn’t you let me help?”
“I wanted to, and then you were out skateboarding all day.”
“Ah,” he looks down, clearly a human trait that was programmed in him, showing embarrassment. “Sorry.”
“I’m quite used to it at this point, besides, me and the others did perfectly fine on our own anyway.”
“But, there are no cameras in here, right?”
“As you can see, no there isn’t.”
“Perfect.” Bing pushes away the tablet from Google’s hands and sits down on the table, Google looks up at him and smirks, “What you planning, default?”
“I’m sure you’re smart enough to figure that out.”
RJ closes the door and quickly turns to the lens, “I think it’s best to leave them alone for now.”
They creep away from the door and go on to the others, many are empty except for the captains, “I can hear sounds from the Captain's room, let’s see inside.”
RJ opens the door and CJ films inside.
They see the captain holding his gun in both hands, showing it off to Yandere, who is looking at it intently, “So, this thing actually works?”
“Sure does. Ai could say you to ask the ones I tested it out on, but they don’t live to tell the tale.”
Yandere giggles, “That’s awesome. I’m assuming they all got that seaman’s grave?”
Magnum boulders laughing, “Sure did.”
RJ quietly shuts the door and turns to the camera and says, “I think it’s wise for us to leave them be.”
RJ continues to walk downstairs, “Let’s find the others.”
They first pass the living room and see Eric and Engineer on the couch, watching TV, “Eric and Engi are watching a documentary on space. No matter how interesting space is, we will not be distracted from our plan. Let’s see what the others are doing.”
They move past them without getting noticed and arrive at Dr.Iplier’s office.
“Let’s see if the doctor is in.”
RJ opens the door and they see Dr.Iplier taking care of the Host's bandages.
“I told you to come to me right away as soon as the bleeding became too excessive.”
“The Host knows, but he was too busy with his radio show to come here right away.”
“Mmm, fine.” The doctor takes off the bandages, and what’s underneath is blocked by the doctor, “But this does happen all the time for me to readily believe that excuse.”
“The Host apologizes.”
Dr.Iplier chuckles, “No need to be so serious, I’m just worried about you, Host. I know it must be uncomfortable for you as well.”
“The Host can’t disagree with that.”
“Then next time come to me sooner. You’re just lucky I care a lot about you.”
“The Host knows he’s lucky.”
RJ and CJ close the door and leave, “Daily business as usual by the doctor and the Host.”
They continue their way and reach the backyard, “From here we must be careful not to get detected,” He crouches and CJ joins in, “We must stay low. We’ll be fine behind these bushes. Join me, Jim.”
They hide behind the rose bushes and zoom in on Yancy and Illinois.
Illinois and Yancy are standing close to the forest behind the manor, Illinois is clearly using his flirty personality to make the other blush.
CJ Zooms in more and RJ holds out his mic to get audio, “Let’s hear what they say.”
“I thought we’s came here for you to learn some dance passes. Not to flirt.”
“You can’t blame me for getting distracted by that handsome face of yours.”
Yancy’s blush grows, clearly trying to keep up his angry demeanor, “Flattery isn’t getting you anywhere, adventurer.”
“It does get me what I want.”
Yancy raises his eyebrow.
Illinois winks, “Making you blush and looking adorable.”
Yancy crosses his arms, “Youse a stupid tease.”
“Aww, come over here, sweetheart.”
Yancy stays still for a moment but then takes a step toward him, Illinois takes his hand and twirls him around, in a perfect round and turns him resting on his arm, giving him a long, passionate kiss.
Yancy dazes out and smiles up at him.
Illinois winks at him, “Told you I had been paying attention to the dance passes.”
Yancy chuckles and smirks up, “Then why don’t youse show me some more of them moves?”
“Gladly.”
Illinois leads him back inside.
The camera zooms back to RJ, “Well, we all know where that is going,” RJ looks serious, “More dance passes.” He smiles.
“Now, let’s find the others.”
They zoom around the backyard and notice King and Bim at the other side, “Zoom in on them, Jim.”
CJ does and they both stare at them intently. While RJ points the mic their way.
King and Bim are leaning against a tree and King has a squirrel on his hands and is showing him off to Bim, “-and this is Timmy, he is very pretty.”
“You say that about all your squirrels, King.”
King looks up at him, smiling “Because they are.”
Bim crosses his arms, “Not prettier than me.”
King giggles, while the squirrel runs up his arm and sits on his shoulder, “Are you jealous of my squirrels now, Bim?”
Bim’s eyes widen, and he uncrosses his arms, “Jealous? Me? Never.”
King smirks up at him, “Do you want me to tell you you’re the prettiest?”
Bim smiles extravagantly, “I already know I am the prettiest.”
King crosses his arms, making the squirrel run to the other side, “So, you don’t-“
Bim interrupts him, “You know I don’t mind you reminding me of it, of course.”
“You’re the prettiest, Bim.” He taps his nose, making Bim blush.
King giggles, “Aww, I didn’t know you were jealous of my squirrels, Bim.”
“I’m not jealous of them. How can I be? I’m the greatest.” Bim gives a grand smile to him.
King cocks his eyebrow, “Still want me to introduce you to the others?”
“You know I want that, King. You’re adorable when you talk so passionately about your squirrels.”
King giggles and takes Bim’s hand, leading him further into the forest.
CJ turns back to RJ, who looks in the camera, “No need to follow them so far out. We've got enough. Let’s see where Dark and Wilford are.”
RJ crouches down and they move back inside, “Dark is most of the time in his office, so let’s check there first. Let’s hope the reporter is with him.”
They ungraciously make their way upstairs and to Dark's office doors.
“We must be vigilant not to get caught. It’s gone great so far.”
RJ opens the door and CJ films inside.
Dark is leaning against his desk, Wilford standing before him, blocking Dark half from view.
“I told you, I still-“
Wilford waves his hand, “You’ve done enough work for today, dear. You always work way too hard.” Wilford replies, putting his hands on his hips.
Dark crosses his arms, “I have to, to keep this place running.”
“You also need to relax, you can’t work all the time.”
“How will dancing help me relax?”
“You know it will help you, let me show you.”
Wilford makes the music play on the old music box, seemingly without even touching it.
He starts a dance move on his own and takes Dark’s hand, “Will-“
“Just let the music take over and go with the flow, Darkling.”
“Why do you always do this?”
“Because I know you’ll love it.”
Wilford makes Dark join the dance, and soon they both are standing against each other, seamlessly flowing along to the music. Dark is sporting a small smile of his own, while Wilford is madly grinning.
RJ closes the door, “Well, we learned something new about our head leaders. Who knew they both had those dance skills?”
RJ and CJ make their way over to their room, “That concludes our report for today. I think we learned some interesting things and saw some fun scenes. Now join us for our next report as soon as we can.”
