Chapter Text
"It’s not wrong to want to break up, you know?"
He didn’t know how they got into that conversation, they were drunk or high, maybe both, on his kitchen floor, normal Tuesday night activities.
"It’s not like I don’t like her but she just doesn’t feel…right"
"What do you mean right?" The girl turned her head towards him
"I don’t know, it’s nothing"
"it’s not nothing if you’re thinking about it, Seb"
"She's everything I’ve ever wanted, she’s pretty, has a cute accent, somewhat funny and more intelligent than me, she’s adorable but still I can’t help but-” His voice gave up on him, but Claire demanded him with her eyes to continue.
"I feel like I’ve always been trying to fill the space of someone with her, you know what I mean? Like when you don’t have more body wash so you use shampoo and pretend it’s soap, it’s not the same and neither what you want but still works okay"
"That’s the worst WORST comparison I’ve ever heard" She laughed
"I get it but I don’t know"
Sebastian rolled over to lay on his tummy, the cold tiled floor felt like heaven on his arms.
"It’s hard to explain, it's like I say the right thing but act the wrong way"
"Dude it’s serious" Sebastian expressed, as his friend let out a small laugh.
"Yeah sorry" the girl laughed again, her giggles filled the silence of the room
"Look seb, if you feel like it’s wrong, maybe you should end things with her, talk through it you know? Like Charli said talk talk"
"Wish you just talk talk talk to meee" He sang with an atrocious tone.
"I can’t help but wonder, whose space you're trying to fill"
"I don’t know really, my head hurts"
"We must be getting down from it"
"Fuck me"
"Lucy is picking me up so you can go to sleep"
"Thanks Claire"
"Nah don’t worry, also, Gigi is playing a gig on Saturday night, you coming?"
"Sure"
"Great, I’ll pick you up, it’s in a pub not so far away"
"You’ve got your driver's license back?" He asked while scratching his head with his left hand.
"No, I mean Lucy and I will pick you up" She gestured with her hands, bracelets twinkling together with her movements.
"Cool. I’m going to lay down for a bit if it’s alright"
He needed to rest, his head was getting hot, he could feel his brain starting to melt into a mushy mess.
"Kay"
Claire sat down in a kitchen chair and turned on her phone waiting for Lucy to pick her up, he fell onto his bed with a loud noise, watching her from there.
He woke up the next morning with a headache, he turned to his nightstand, a water bottle and a note next to it.
“Hiii! I, as the cool friend I am, left you a bottle of water and a pack of biscuits, remember that I’m picking you up at 8 today!! Take a bath and eat something, see ya later. XOXO”
He also had 47 missed calls and 60 messages from Blair. The phone rang again and he quickly answered.
"Hey—
"WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?"
"Home?" He said while massaging his temple.
"Why are you lying to me? Why haven’t you been answering my messages? What’s wrong with you? You have a phone idiot, use it!"
Blair’s shouting was only adding on his headache, he felt like vomiting.
"Why are you always like this?"
"Like what?!"
"You’re so toxic with everyone, with your friends, with me. It’s exhausting"
"I’m just caring for you! Damn it Sebastian!! You’re so full of yourself you can’t see you’re the problem"
She was not stopping anytime soon.
"You’re with someone else aren’t you?"
"What? No, I… No. I wouldn’t" He squinted his eyes at the thought.
"Are you going to Gigi’s thing today?" He tried to change the heavy topic, Blair was getting worked up over nothing and he just wanted to soothe her.
"I don’t think so"
"Why not? College stress?"
She chuckled.
"Yeah kinda, and work is killing me"
"Four year olds are killing you?"
"No I love them but they’re a lot sometimes"
She was working as a teacher, initially because of the payment and not because of teaching, in fact, she feared that at first, but now seemed to like it.
"You going? To the show I mean"
"Yeah I think so, yes. Claire offered to take us with some friends, that’s why I was asking you, but I will tell her you’re busy, don't worry"
"Thanks hon, I’ll send some good luck messages to Gigi too, well if I don’t forget to"
They both laughed, he got up from the bed and started to make a small breakfast,
"My sister is throwing a party after the gig, I think I'll go there"
"Well, long trip you’ve got, huh? Just walking two steps to your living room"
They both laughed and Blair let out a big sigh.
"You sound kinda tired for a party though"
"I am, but Max wants to see Dean, she’s going and willing to go all the way out"
Dean was going? He was going to see Dean? Gosh.
Quickly recap, Dean used to be one of his best friends, until he started to date Blair two years ago and they kinda got apart.
"Well I suppose I will see you there then, also, are Dean and Max…?"
It was weird to ask that, it made his stomach twist in a weird motion, it felt like jealousy but made no sense. Dean most likely didn’t even consider him as his friend anymore, he had no right to be jealous.
"I really don’t know, she talks about him as if they were together but I think she’s just exaggerating and it’s nothing like that"
That was lowkey weird but whatever. He started to eat the yogurt bowl he had just prepared while he was so busy talking about all the mess that was going on.
"Well I have to go baby"
"Wait, Blair, what day is it?"
"Uhm, Friday? Friday the seventeenth of February . It’s 10:43 right now"
Oh cool, he didn’t have work today. He had more time to prepare mentally to see Dean after a year and a half, again.
"You don’t have work if that’s what you’re thinking about."
She laughed and with that he came back from the clouds.
"Yeah sorry, my mind is a fuzz"
"Talking about work, have you talked to your Mum?"
"Actually, I gave it a second thought and I'm going to keep working with them"
"But it’s not what you like to do"
"Well but it delivers a piece of bread to my table everyday so, Im keeping it that way"
Blair hummed, not wanting to argue, he knew her opinion and she knew his.
"Okay now really I have to go, love you, see ya later"
"Bye"
He put the phone down on his counter and grabbed his head with both hands. He was stressed, even his dog could sense it, barking loudly to catch his attention.
"Okay girl, I know, heard you already"
He threw a small blueberry to her and started to clean his kitchen, from the bowl he just used to the whole fucking floor. Maybe it was the anxiety that made him do a deep cleaning of his whole damn house.
Time flew by, soon enough it was 7 pm and he was getting ready for the night.
Claire
-We’re picking u up at 8 something
-We’re gonna give Adam a lift there as well so
Sebastian
-Oh you convinced him to?
Claire
-Nahh Lucy did, I’m incapable of doing such things
Sebastian
-You’re going to max’s after?
Claire
-Yes we’re, we can drive you there as well, the drinks are pretty expensive at the bar so we decided to go to max’s and stuff.
-I told u, right?
Sebastian
-Nope
Claire
-Oh sorry
Sebastian
-It’s okay
-Well I’m gonna get ready now
-See ya later!!!
He took a shower, taking time to clean his hair and shave his beard properly.
Once dressed, he went into the kitchen and prepared food for his cat and dog and fed them with care. He used his spare time to text Blair
Sebastian
-Tell good luck to Gigi
Blair
-Just did! Thanks for reminding me!!
Sebastian
-I’m about to leave
Blair
-Send pics!! I’m in my pjs checking homework
-[pic]
He took time to check the picture
Blair’s green eyes shined through, her brunette hair and tanned skin made her look beautiful. She was pretty, gorgeous even, it was easy for him to force himself into being attracted to her.
He recognized his egoism, and part of him knew that she also did.
Sebastian
-Cuteeee
-I have to leave now
-Work but not too hard!!
Blair
-Won’t do!!
-XX
[a]
He turned his phone off and saved it in the pocket of his dark brown leather jacket.
Grabbed his keys and waited outside his apartment building for Claire or Lucy or whoever was picking him up.
Lucy arrived at his door with her Volkswagen car, dark blue with lashes on the headlights "Omg get in!!" The three of them screamed, Claire in the backseat, Adam in the passenger seat and Lucy driving. He quickly sat next to Claire.
"Hey" Everyone greeted him
"Thought you were not coming"
"Wasn’t planning to but well change of plans"
"How 's blair?" Lucy spoke without taking her eyes off the road.
"Busy, but fine, we’re fine"
Lucy nodded, just one slow nod, understanding perchance.
"How are your cats?"
He changed the topic, knowing that the girl was kind of cat mom
"Oh they’re lovely, they’re growing up so well, Adam grab my phone and show him"
"Why is it always me?"
"COME ONNNN"
She said and just like that Adam grabbed her phone and showed him the damn cat pics.
They were two young cats, a grey named Pantufla and the other was a calico cat named Stevie "wonderful and beautiful" nicks, guess who’s she’s a fan of guys!!!!
They arrived in twenty minutes, quite far if you ask him.
They entered the bar, it had this cool vibe, like an old school one, resembling the cavern in Liverpool.
"I imagined it different"
"Girl it was not going to be like a rave"
Lucy and Adam laughed, Claire shook her head.
"Well okay, look there’s Dean and the others, let’s go and say hi"
She changed the topic and started to walk, Sebastian froze there, incapable of moving.
Claire tugged at his shirt.
"C’mon seb, let’s go"
He forced himself to move, to follow Claire’s big boots through the dark bar.
"Hey" Dean said to Claire and maybe to him too.
Sebastian looked up, green eyes meeting deans brown ones, he always thought he looked like a deer or a puppy, the way his eyes darkened at the corners, he was beautiful, waitttt why is he talking about him like that, nevermind.
Dean hugged Claire, and then looked at him.
"Mate, it has been almost a year since we last saw each other, how have you been?"
Sebastian smiled.
"Good, you?"
"Are we short on words? Just kidding, I’m glad you’re fine, same for me"
They both laughed awkwardly, as if they were two teenagers on their first date.
The time flew by when talking to dean, he just remembers laughing and looking at his smile, his northern (?) accent slipping through the words he spoke and how he looked at him when doing so.
He only realized what time it was when Maxine arrived and grabbed Dean's arm, clinging to him.
"Hi! Just made it in time" Her Manchester accent just like Blair.
Both Sebastian and Dean looked at her (well and greeted her) Dean making his best effort to get her off from him.
She was short, just like Blair, had brown eyes and wavy short hair, and an unsurprisingly big crush on Dean.
"Well I should go back to my group, see ya around"
Dean waved at him and smiled, but it was that kind of smile, like private even, the ones that feel like a dream.
He went back to Claire, Lucy, and Adam and took a seat in their table
"Woah, what about no drinkin cuz it’s expensive here?" He said while signaling at Lucy’s Heineken 0% (which Max Verstappen promoted in 2024) in hand.
The girl didn’t answer though, she was too busy talking about vampires or something twilight related with her friend.
"Found out the bartender was also a Korn fan so it was on the house"
"But you don’t drink"
"But she does"
Adam said and joined the conversation with a “Well I think Jacob was better than Edward” Just to see how both of the girls yelled at him.
He looked at Dean, just to see he was already looking at him.
The gig started, “while my guitar gently weeps” at full volume, Gigi on the guitar as always.
It was during the guitar solo that he remembered why he had a crush on Dean growing up.
He remembered how much he liked him, how scared he was to tell someone about it, and as if he was in a teenager coming of age movie he felt all those feelings bubbling again in his chest.
The show ended sooner that he thought, his mind still focused on Dean and his damn thing.
"Hey Seb, you alright? You look…lost" Said Claire, who sat just next to him.
"Yeah, everything’s alright"
"Really mate?"
"How many songs did they play?"
"Eighteen" said Lucy
"Yeah I just remember “while my guitar”, got lost"
They laughed, and soon people were starting to leave the bar.
"We should go outside and see how the rest of our friends are going to Max’s, I already told Gigi we were going to wait for her outside"
"Cool, let’s go" Said Adam and the four of them went outside.
Outside the bar Eloise, Maxine, Dean, Matthew, Mary, Sam, and Maxine stood there talking about how they were going to get to Maxine’s place.
They got close to them.
"Oh you guys are driving there, right?"
"Yes" Lucy said,making a sound with the keys in her hand.
"We were thinking of going by metro cuz Dean is the only one that has a car but it’s too small" Mary said.
"Is there a chance you can take one of us?" Max said
"We’re going in a Beatle and taking Gigi, impossible" Sebastian answered.
"Oh the blue one with lashes was yours?" Dean said laughing
"Hey,hey! It looks cute, she’s a cunty diva okay?" Lucy said laughing too.
Soon enough the big group left for the closest metro station.
The four of them and Dean, were waiting for Gigi, the wind getting chillier.
"Small car?" Claire laughed while asking
"it’s more of a truck but only two seats, I’m still fixing the Volvo motor"
"Oh you brought the field truck, makes sense" She said, while readjusting her jacket and purse.
"How much of a journey do you have?" Adam said from under his Adidas windbreaker, neck partially covering his mouth.
"Two hours on normal days, three if there’s traffic, but that’s just to enter London, then I have to hoy through this damn traffic"
Sebastian could only look at him and smile, he was mesmerized by the sight of him alone.
Suddenly the door of the bar opened and Gigi came out.
"HI YALL" Gigi said, throwing herself to them in a hug,her guitar hanging over her back kind of like a backpack.
"You were amazing!!" Sebastian said, and they all greeted her.
"We should start going now" Adam said at Lucy
"Yes you’re right" She answered , then turned to the group.
"Hey so let’s get into the car, Dean, see you soon"
"Maybe I can take someone with me too, Claire?"
"Nahh I’m going with lerstappen lost child"
Dean laughed.
"DUDE HAVE YOU SEEN HOW SHE DRIVES? SHE'S AMAZING"
Dean nodded
"Seb?"
Sebastian looked at him and hesitated, he wanted to go with him but his friends and shit damn why is everything so complicated?"
"I left my bag in the car, sorry"
It was his vague way of trying to get him out of his mind for a while, emotions were running high and he couldn’t think straight.
Adam gave Claire a sad look and she sighed.
"I’ll go with you, but not because you’re better driver"
Dean laughed and they both went to his car.
The group of four walked one block to the Volkswagen, once they were in the car Gigi spoke.
"Was it okay?"
"I’m not all for the Beatles but that solo? Sharp" Adam said
"Detroit was amazing! Didn’t have you in the bass" Lucy said while starting the engine.
Sebastian remained silent till they arrived at their destination.
"They won" Adam said to Lucy, signaling Claire and Dean standing next to the door of the building, waiting for them.
"Damn it, okay let’s go!!" Said Lucy, opening the car door, and quickly the three other passengers got out.