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Mo knows he's late.
There was a colony meeting, to reaffirm the rules - no outsiders, share food among each other, and keep to a low profile to avoid all manner of things above. Without any form of protest, Mo simply nodded along to the code and values, knowing damn well that soon enough, they won't matter. None of this matters, really - just a bunch of stuck up elders who are trying to protect the colony from a threat that's already eating away at them; it was already here, especially thanks to a recent uptick in missing mole people. Mo tunes it out and nods along just to maintain the ruse.
Mo's made his choice, long before any of these fossils could have ever tried to dissuade him.
Rather than stay to listen to more grunting and squealing after the initial meeting, Mo opts to return to his hovel and ignore everyone else. It's not like they cared what Mo thought, anyway. They would never understand him, because even if they suddenly put the effort into trying now, it was too little, too late. Nothing more than a last minute tactic to try and scare him away from something he's already steadfast in.
...He takes the long way, just in case.
---
Krill glances at the busted up clock, barely ticking along. It was a last minute find when Krill mentioned it was hard to figure out time underground, and Mo gleefully complied with finding an old clock for Krill to spend time fixing.
He's been rehearsing it in his mind all day.
Mo is something wonderful. He's special in ways this colony needs, and Krill knows that. Mo would be so, so much better off without him.
... If he believed that, maybe Krill would have left by now, but...
Krill feels an ache in his back and shifts in bed to accommodate. A series of flare ups, that's the issue. Once he can walk again, he'll leave, and Mo can have that comfortable life he deserves. No one ought to be kicked from their home, especially not someone who has their life set up. He's not worth giving this up for.
All the same, Krill catches himself perking up when the door slams closed. His heart bounces into his throat, and against the ache rooting in his spine, Krill eagerly tosses the covers off to rush over.
"Momo!"
Mo blinks in surprise at the open use of such a name, but a smile cracks across his face as Mo waddles over. It's infectious, and Mo can't stop himself from scooping Krill into his arms, pressing his nose to Krill's cheeks.
"I-I missed you." Krill admits. The prospect of what that message really means goes unsaid, just like the implications of the affectionate nuzzling, but Krill's chest feels warm regardless. Lanky arms loop around Mo's neck, and Mo swiftly carries Krill back to bed.
"Mo, I'm fine. Honest." Krill insists. Mo sets him down, and Krill feels the nerves bubble in him again.
He's already brought this up before, but he's never had the strength to follow through. It's too comfortable to settle in Mo's arms, hear him snuffle and grunt affectionately as they doze off, feel something he's never been allowed to have. It's... He can't...
His head hurts. His chest hurts. He needs to take it slow. Mo noses the top of his head, then leaves to go scrounge their food supply for something they can share.
Guilt fills Krill's chest. He should be...
This is exactly why Mo is better off without him. He's not even strong enough to make them food, rotting from a twinge in his back. Why would Mo ever want this kind of life? Babysitting someone who provides no value?
"M-Mo, I - I." Krill feels the words get stuck in his throat. "I... I want what's best for you. Don't give this up."
Mo snorts, and food is temporarily forgotten in favor of comfort, and guilt weighs even heavier in his chest. Krill doesn't resist, even though he knows he should, instead greedily leaning into Mo's touch, wanting to take what he can before he can't have it anymore. Like he'll be strong enough to follow through this time... Mo has to be happy here, right? New York is a dangerous city. He knows that. He can't accept the risk.
"I'm serious, Maurice. You have such a good life here." Krill betrays his words, as Mo nuzzles the top of his head.
It will be a while before Krill realizes what this means, but for now, it's reassuring.
... And yet, they're supposed to be breaking up, he reminds himself. They're supposed to be saying good bye, having nearly been caught too many times to risk this anymore. How much has Mo lied to hide him here? How much trust and love has Mo forsaken for him? Krill's condition's gotten some what better, but the pain in his hips never stops. He's supposed to have the strength to get up and push himself out the door and protect Mo. Yet... yet, as Krill's heart aches, he doesn't even bother to lean away. Mo raises his paw to Krill's face, and Krill reaches up to grab his wrist - but not to pull away.
He can't.
He's too weak.
"You'll lose everything." Krill says vainly, but Mo still noses his cheek. He's not bowing into Krill's words, and Krill briefly wonders if Mo's unable to understand him or...
Oh, it makes his heart hurt to think that Mo can hear him and knows the consequences. It's easier to believe that Mo just can't understand what he's saying.
"Please. I don't... I can't. You..." Tears form in his eyes and Mo nuzzles them away.
Krill scolds himself for being so weak yet again. They can't keep doing this, Mo will get found out eventually and he'll lose everything dear to him. A family like this, Krill would openly have kissed for so short a time ago, and yet Mo so eagerly sacrifices it. It will be Krill's fault (it's always his fault) and if he was just braver, just smarter, he'd save Mo from this fate.
But that's not how this story goes. Krill will drag them both to hell and Mo will follow him without complaint. This will end in heartbreak for both of them, even if they don't break up now. In his mind, he's fully aware Mo would be better off without him. Mo has a life here, one where he won't be in danger and at risk of every asshole Krill owes money to. Krill still doesn't attempt to leave Mo's warm hug or move away from the callous paw against his cheek. What a disgusting little creature he is, greedy and selfish, crying on the person he's trying to protect.
What Krill doesn't know, is from the moment his small, trembling hands reached up to Mo's face, Krill's broken, quiet voice mumbled gratitude for his life, and the hidden smell of tears touched Mo's nose... Mo knew that no matter what the future held, he was going to find it with Krill.
He'd found this outsider bleeding and half dead near the entrance to the mole people's territory, clinging to a shred of life. Without so much as a second thought, Mo had taken him in, brought him home, and took care of him. Mo made sure this frail little thing ate, changed his bandages, and even watched over on nights he tossed and turned in pain from restless sleep. Mo's vision isn't very good, and his noise maps weren't always the most helpful, but he'd never seen anything like Krill - he had small paws, with dull claws (bad for digging), he had coarse, long fur (that could trap dirt) and he had the sweetest voice Mo had ever heard. Mole people didn't sound so... melodious - they were gruff and sharp. This creature talked to Mo, laid up in bed, unable to move, about everything. He told Mo stories, he taught Mo words he'd never heard of, he made Mo laugh, and he made Mo realize more than ever he wanted to see the world with this little creature that could sit in his paw guiding him the whole way.
More than anything, Mo feel a warmth in his chest he'd never have felt before, under the recognition of being seen as himself. He wasn't a nameless, silent mole in the colony for labor. Krill found the person he was and embraced that without ever casting judgement.
It eventually explained that his name was Krill, and he wasn't a mole at all - he was something different altogether. He was kind, he was smart and Mo learned he and Krill shared a lot of opinions on things. Krill did not scorn Mo for refusing to speak, and instead worked to find a way for him to express himself comfortably. Krill was thankful for the rescue and promised to repay Mo in spades for helping him.
Mo learned Krill couldn't walk for very long, because Krill was in a lot of pain a lot of the time. He learned Krill would laugh it off, and pretend he was fine, and Mo learned when to tell that was a lie. He learned very quickly Krill lied about himself a lot - Krill would call himself a coward, but quickly jump to defend Mo from another mole's judgement, even if the best he could do was complain about them being an asshole in the comfort of the hovel. He would say he's okay to keep cleaning, when he was about to fall over from pain in his legs, using the wall to keep him upright. Krill will say he's only interested in getting rich, but would give away his last bit of food to anyone he felt needed him more. Krill would say he was undesirable, unworthy, yet Mo wanted him more and more as time moved on.
These lies made Mo even more certain - he did not want to live in a world without Krill.
Outsiders weren't welcome among mole people. Mole people were reclusive and secretive, and outsiders risked hurting their way of life - if not outright causing some to be killed for their pelts. The colony wasn't as safe as Krill thinks it is, and it's not like Mo really likes anyone there, either. Identity wasn't really important to mole people in that way; gender wasn't really a concept and when you can wake up one morning with organs you didn't start with, things like masculine or feminine didn't really apply. Identity was what you did for others and the territory you protected - but Krill showed him otherwise. There was the ability to have a sense of self outside of what others did, or didn't, see in you.
No one knew for sure, but they were suspicious - Mo was changing, something was different. He embraced things they'd never heard of, wore things that seemed odd. Mo was always strange among his peers due to the lack of voice, but the fact Mo never had interest in anyone during rut made him all the more off putting. They would warn him, try to advise him, act like they knew better.
Mo didn't listen.
He didn't need to.
Krill was someone who listened to him no matter what he was thinking about. Krill wanted him, and even now, Krill's thinking of him, begging him to take an easy, dull life. Krill doesn't understand that this safe route will only cause Mo to wither and die under the gaze of his peers. Mo had made his choice a long time ago, when Krill was clinging to life in his bed and injured, reaching out and whispering gratitude for his life, that Mo would gladly trade the world for Krill. Mo hides Krill as they build up resources to leave in the colony for the time being, protecting him from the ire of other moles who would never understand. It's the easiest choice Mo has ever made in his life, without question.
After this moment, where Krill pities himself for failing again, Mo will make them a dinner to share, and listen to Krill try to apologize once again for breaking things off. Mo will laugh it off, because he knows Krill is trying to protect him, because he's afraid of Mo being subjected to the harsh reality of the world he grew up in. Krill will fall asleep on him again, and Mo will carry them to bed. In the early morning, Mo will cradle Krill to his chest and breathe, feeling familiar arms around his neck and familiar breath against his fur. Every little shift as Krill tries to smother himself in Mo's fur, Mo will nose his cheek and yearn to spill out his mouth -
I love you,
I love you,
I love you, and I will follow you wherever you go to prove it.