Adult Content Warning

This work could have adult content. If you continue, you have agreed that you are willing to see such content.

• Yes, Continue
• No, Go Back

If you accept cookies from our site and you choose "Yes, Continue", you will not be asked again during this session (that is, until you close your browser). If you log in you can store your preference and never be asked again.

1. I'd Rather Break My Skull Open Than Say The L-word (remastered) by Riskque

   Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe  

   • Explicit
   • No Archive Warnings Apply
   • M/M
   • Work in Progress

   25 Aug 2025

   Tags

   • No Archive Warnings Apply
   • Jack Hammer | Hammer/Peter Parker
   • Jack Hammer | Weasel/Wade Wilson
   • Jack Hammer | Weasel/Peter Parker/Wade Wilson
   • Peter Parker/Wade Wilson
   • Peter Parker
   • Wade Wilson
   • Jack Hammer | Weasel
   • Alternate Universe - Soulmates
   • Polyamory
   • Fluff and Crack
   • Angst with a Happy Ending
   • Blow Jobs
   • Threesome - M/M/M
   • Idiots in Love
   • Established Relationship
   • Recreational Drug Use
   • Marijuana
   • Medicinal Drug Use
   • Intoxication
   • Soulmate-Identifying Marks
   • Syrup escapades
   • IM DEAMING MYSELF THE EMBASSADOR OF THIS SHIP
   • Katya references
   • Shitty 2000's television
   • Politically Incorrect Language
   • Author is Schizophrenic
   • Betaed
   • Surprisingly
   • They all love eachother and want eachother bad I promise
   • peter parker is a twink
   • Someone said I described his appearance like a boys love visual novels protagonist
   • so there's that
   • Weasel is a Mess

   Summary

   I am the original author of this fic and basically lost access to everything but it's ok because I'm back and better than ever! I've edited and added some to the original chapters and also have a new chapter for you all! Smut is still loading but it won't take years! I prommy

   ⭐

   "Weasel is sweating his hermit ass balls off, climbing up the fire escape, with 7 pounds of C4, in 90 degree heat, in JEANS. All because he forgot his fucking-

   "HEY WEAS!"

   Ok, haha, very funny God, you're just laughing it up huh? Is it "make ol' Jack regret not being aborted" day? Nana is visiting NEXT week anyways.

   "WEAS BABY, I NEED TO HAVE A COMPLETELY SERIOUS UNSEXY CHAT WITH YOU!"

   "Fuck off Wade."

   Language:

   English

   Words:

   5,123

   Chapters:

   3/4

   Comments:

   4

   Kudos:

   13

   Bookmarks:

   6

   Hits:

   208