Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“What are you doing?”

Ivan ignored the voice, continuing to mush his face with his hands as he stared at his reflection in the water.

“I said, what are you doing?”

Ivan pulled too hard and winced. His cheek was still sore after Till punched it a few days ago. He didn’t know why, seeing as all he did was destroy a wreath of cameras that Till presented to him, but that was alright. He kind of liked how it felt.

“Hey!” A brown hand clamped around his wrist and yanked, forcing Ivan to pay attention to its owner. An older girl was frowning at him, her blue eyes (dull, nowhere near as bright as Till’s—) zeroing in on his face. “Are you hurt? Is that why you’re ignoring me?”

Ivan briefly considered resisting before deciding it wasn’t worth the hassle. “…practicing.”

“What?” The girl’s frown deepened. “Can you really not hear me? Should I take you to the nurse?”

“No, thank you,” Ivan replied, monotone. He let his hand dangle in her grasp, unwilling to exert the energy to pull away. “Yes, I can hear you. Yes, I am hurt. No, that’s not why I was ignoring you. And I was practicing my expressions.” He paused. “…does that answer all your questions?”

The girl stared at him. “You’re weird.”

Ivan nodded solemnly. He got that a lot.

The girl barked out a laugh, her face lighting up. “You’re cute! We’re friends now!”

Ivan jolted, his eyes widening. “…friends?”

He’d never had one of those before. Most of the other kids did, but Ivan figured he was too repulsive and weird to befriend. Till certainly seemed to get mad at him a lot.

“Yup!” The girl grinned. “I’m Hyuna! What’s your name?”

“…Ivan.”

“Come with me, Ivan!” Hyuna started tugging him in a random direction. Trapped and mildly curious, Ivan was helpless to do anything but follow. “You have to meet my twin brother! His name’s Hyun-Woo!”

Together, they bounded down the hill where two boys lay on the grass. One had brown hair and skin like Hyuna, the other blond hair and skin so pale it was almost blue.

“Hyun-Woo! Luka!” Hyuna beamed, waving at them. “Come meet my new friend, Ivan! Isn’t he cute?”

The blond boy, presumably Luka, shot up. Almost immediately, his eyes glazed over and he swayed, falling right into the hands of Hyun-Woo, who had also sat up.

“Careful!” Hyun-Woo chided. “You know you get dizzy if you sit up too fast!”

“Cute…” Luka muttered nonsensically. His eyes fluttered, then looked up at Hyuna with a wounded expression. “Him?”

“Yeah!” Hyuna enthused. “Say hi, Ivan!”

“…hello.” Ivan gave a little bow, not missing how Luka zeroed in on his and Hyuna’s entwined hands.

Hyun-Woo groaned. “Sis, another one? We’ve already got one weirdo!”

Ah. Ivan stood there, somewhat numb as Hyuna’s grip slackened and fell. Well, that didn’t last long.

To his surprise, instead of ditching him for her twin, she marched over and smacked Hyun-Woo upside the head.

“Don’t be mean!” Hyuna scolded. She put her hands on her hips, as fierce as can be in plain white cotton wear and a loose ponytail. “Hyun-Woo, say you’re sorry!”

“What?! No wa—!” Hyun-Woo yelped as Hyuna pulled on his hair. “I mean, I’m sorry!! Sorry!!!”

Ivan stared at them, wide-eyed. No one had ever stood up for him before. Or apologized to him, for that matter.

He wondered if it always felt this warm.

Luka sidled up to him with a frown. He circled Ivan like a shark, poking him at random intervals, even lifting his wrist to trace his brand.

Finally, Luka finished his inspection. He leaned closer in what would’ve been a loom if they weren’t so close in height, his pale hand rising like a ghost to prod at Ivan’s snaggletooth. “Ugly.”

Ivan blinked at the offending finger.

“I think it looks interesting!” Hyuna wandered over, evidently finished squabbling with her twin. “It’s memorable, you know?”

Luka frowned harder. “I don’t know him.”

“Hmm, you’re right.” Hyun-Woo joined them, cocking his head as he gave Ivan a once-over. His hair was an absolute mess. “That’s weird; we merged classes days ago. Why haven’t we seen you at mealtimes?”

Indeed, Anakt Garden had temporarily merged some classes together while they did renovations for a new science wing. Ivan had been told that once it was finished, they would pair him with a machine that would fix his smile. It’s why he was practicing it more often: to prepare. Not that it was working.

“I got into a fight,” Ivan explained, pointing at the bruise on his cheek. “They’ve been giving me my meals in my room. Tonight’s the first time I’ll be eating with the merged class.”

He didn’t mention that Till wasn’t allowed meals at all, only a feeding tube shoved down his throat while locked into several restraints. Not that those were there anymore, as Ivan had freed him as soon as night fell. He also snuck into Till’s room everyday during lunch to give him his portion. He always skipped lunch, anyway. Plus, it was only fair.

“Woah.” Hyun-Woo looked impressed. “Did you win?”

Ivan tilted his head. “Maybe?” He certainly didn’t lose.

Hyun-Woo nodded seriously. “It must be hard to knock each other out, since you’re babies.”

Ivan gave him a blank look. “I’m seven.”

“Yeah, and I’m twelve.” Hyun-Woo held up two fingers. “Two digits. You only have one digit, which makes you a baby.”

Ivan opened and closed his mouth. Then opened it again. “Infants are aged zero to one. Toddlers, one to three. I am classified as a child, same as you.”

Hyuna burst out laughing.

Hyun-Woo gaped at him. “What the heck?? How do you know all that???”

“It was in my school textbook.” Ivan shrugged, rocking on his feet. For some reason, he felt light. “Why don’t you know that?”

Hyuna laughed harder, falling to her knees.

Luka huffed. “I’m surrounded by children.”

Ivan fell silent, looking him up and down.

“I’m fifteen,” Luka informed him, sounding miffed.

Ivan continued to stare. “…but you’re so short.”

Hyuna wheezed, finally succumbing to her mirth and collapsing on the grass.

“Till,” Ivan whispered, pressing down on the door handle so it would shut quietly behind him. “Lunch.”

Till stirred from where he’d been sprawled on his back, a stray piece of paper stuck to his cheek. He was surrounded by drawings and half-finished compositions, pens and paper being the only items he was allowed in his sterile isolation chamber. Not that it was ‘his,’ per se, but Till was the only one who used it.

“Ivan?” Till rubbed his eyes. He swatted the page to the ground, revealing a bruised split lip. “What day is it?”

“You’ll be released tomorrow,” Ivan answered the implied question. He knelt, setting down a food tray and spoon.

Till snatched it up, now wide awake as he snarfed down today’s meal paste. He made a face. “Sweet again? Do you always get the same thing?”

Ivan’s chest throbbed. “…I didn’t know you had a preference. You should’ve told me.”

“I don’t,” Till grumbled between mouthfuls of food. “Whatever. Don’t worry about it.”

Ivan didn’t know what to say. He liked sweet things which is why he always chose it, but he also didn’t think Till cared about his opinion. “…sorry.”

Till waved him off. “S’your food.”

They fell into silence, only the sounds of clinking and swallowing filling the room. Ivan wondered idly if he should leave, but no. He had to wait for Till to finish so he could take back the tray.

“…thanks.” Till ducked his head, intensely concentrated on the food in his lap. His knuckles were white around the spoon. “I’m still mad at you about the flowers, but…thanks. For the food. And the restraints.” He scowled, vivid teal flashing behind equally vibrant silver as his gaze darted up then back down again. “I seriously don’t get you. Weirdo.”

Ivan tilted his head, absorbing the jab. Did Till not know that the flowers were actually cameras?

…should he tell him?

No, Ivan decided. It doesn’t matter. I’ll just remember not to crush them in front of him anymore.

Till already had so few things he held dear. Ivan had no idea why this fact struck him as particularly relevant to his decision not to explain himself, but looking at the many, many drawings of landscapes and petals littering the floor, he just…couldn’t do it.

Things were quiet again until Till finished his meal. Wordlessly, Ivan took back the tray then stood to leave. He kind of wanted to stay, but he didn’t have a reason to. Also, Till looked tired.

Just as Ivan reached for the door handle, Till spoke again. “That fight was the biggest I’ve ever seen you smile.” Teal burned into black when Ivan looked over his shoulder. “Why?”

“Why?” Ivan echoed. He kept his eyes locked on Till’s, void black consumed by emerald blue. “Because it was…fun?”

Even as he said it, it didn’t sound right. It’s not that Ivan found fighting fun, nor did he particularly enjoy pain. Rather, the reason he smiled was…

“Maybe…because it was you?” Ivan mumbled.

Till’s mouth fell open. Ivan observed the reaction, memorizing it. Till had never made this expression before and he found it…fascinating.

“I don’t get it,” Till croaked. He sounded frustrated, borderline miserable. Ivan tucked that away, too. “Do you like me or hate me?”

Ivan blinked, heavy and slow. For a long moment, they just stared at each other.

Then without a word, Ivan turned and left, the door behind him falling silently shut.

Ivan was walking to singing practice when he was accosted by twin blurs of copper. He dangled uselessly in the air, swinging violently back and forth as Hyuna and Hyun-Woo carted him off to who-knows-where by his underarms.

“I have vocal training,” Ivan informed them. Not that he cared about missing it, but Unsha might find out if he did. Right now they were okay, but Ivan knew not to take their current working relationship for granted. Less favor meant less privileges, which meant less books and less opportunity to sneak out. “I only have thirty minutes before they mark me late.”

“Thirty minutes is plenty!” Hyuna whooped. “Come on, come on!”

Ivan didn’t know how he could ‘come on’ when they were already carrying him, but resigned himself to his fate. Soon, they crested the small hill, a large tree rising into view. Under that tree was Luka, who was…

Huh.

Ivan felt himself being lowered onto the grass while Luka looked up at him placidly. Up, because he was currently sitting down with his legs sticking straight out from either side of his waist. In other words—

“He’s doing the splits!” Hyun-Woo crowed, ruffling Luka’s hair. “Isn’t that cool?”

Ivan looked at Luka. Then Hyun-Woo. Then Luka again. “Is it?”

Luka’s face darkened.

Hyuna guffawed, slapping Ivan on the back. It was painful, but for some reason he didn’t mind.

“You laugh a lot,” Ivan told her. He didn’t normally volunteer words, but her consistently positive reception of them made him almost want to.

Predictably, Hyuna beamed. “Thanks!”

“Watch it,” Luka growled. He quickly flipped back to an angelic smile when Hyuna frowned at him.

Ivan watched them quietly. These people were unlike any he had ever met, but he thought he was starting to understand them. There was a strong undercurrent of affection to all their interactions, from Hyuna to Hyun-Woo to Luka to—

Oh.

“Oh,” Ivan said aloud. “You like her.”

He was almost proud of himself for figuring it out. Perhaps watching Till watch Mizi and Sua made it easier to realize. Regardless, it was satisfying pinpointing an emotion as nebulous as ‘like.’

Luka raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. “Duh.”

They both ignored Hyun-Woo’s enraged, “What?!”

Beside them, Hyuna made a squeaking sound. A glance revealed that her whole face was ignited in a furious blush.

Well, that wouldn’t do.

“Don’t like him back,” Ivan advised. “You deserve better.”

Hyuna’s mouth opened and closed. She buried her face in her hands, looking torn between laughter and self-immolation. “…thanks, Ivan.”

Luka’s expression was thunderous. “You little brat.” His eyes glinted, his legs sliding closed with a snap. If Ivan thought he looked malicious before, now he looked downright murderous. “Come here!”

Ivan booked it, instinct taking over as he rocketed back to the learning area. It wasn't far; he could make it. Once there were teachers around, he’d be safe.

There was a cacophony of yells behind him, a terrible honking wheeze, then more yelling. Ivan never looked back, single-minded in his goal. With one glaring exception, he’d always been good at running away.

He made it to the learning area, gave himself two whole minutes to catch his breath, then resumed his original trek to singing practice. No one followed him.

Ivan wondered why he wished they did.

“Hey. Brat.” Luka cut in line to tower over Ivan, pinching his ear between two fingers. Ivan let him, seeing as Luka’s scant inches over him and feeble grasp were hardly threats. “Don’t run away.”

Ivan wasn’t listening, too focused on the way Luka’s fingers felt on his ear. It was an intimate place people didn’t touch often, a new sensation. Although, Luka’s fingers were kind of cold. And shaking. Did he really exert that much energy trying to chase after him?

“You’re really weak,” Ivan observed.

Luka glared at him with utter contempt. “I’ll kill you. The rocks here are pretty hard, you know.”

Ivan nodded seriously. Luka shouldn’t have told him; now he knew what to watch out for. “Okay.”

They were interrupted by the dispenser squirting blobs of meal paste onto their trays. Looking down, Ivan noticed that Luka’s tray already had two other servings of paste on it, making this one his third.

“You eat that much and are still this short?” Ivan wondered aloud. He couldn’t help it—the more aggressive Luka acted, the more interested he became in his reactions. “Are you defective?”

Unexpectedly, Luka’s expression shuttered. His hand fell away from Ivan’s ear, taking the icy coldness with it. Mechanically, he marched off toward an empty table, set down his tray, then buried his head in his arms.

Huh.

Ivan hesitated. Should he follow him? Till was surely around here somewhere, though he probably didn’t want him around after yesterday.

Cautiously, Ivan moved toward Luka’s slumped figure. He set his tray down across from him, staring idly at his golden curls as he picked up his spoon and began to eat.

They spent several minutes in mutual silence before pale yellow eyes peeked at him. Luka made an unintelligible grumbling sound before leaning heavily to one side, peering at him upside-down. “Hyuna likes me too, you know.”

Ivan glanced at him, then back to his food. He knew. Despite his warning, her reaction was unmistakable.

“I was gonna kiss her so we could finally get together,” Luka continued. He sounded oddly neutral, bored even, as though the subject matter didn’t concern him at all. “But maybe it’s better this way. Hyun-Woo was pretty mad when he found out. Though he’s the one who carried me to the nurse after, so we’re probably alright.”

Ivan hummed. So that confirmed his suspicions about Luka’s physical weakness. Cold hands and stunted height aside, needing medical attention after trying to outrun someone half your age was not normal for human teenagers. His books indicated that much.

If anything, the only thing he didn’t know was… “What’s a kiss?”

“Huh? A kiss?” Luka blinked rapidly, his pupils oddly dilated. He flipped upright, picking his spoon up for the first time. “It’s when you press your lips against someone else’s. Or other places. You only do it when you really, really like each other though, like Providers and their Creations. Or me and Hyuna.”

Ivan blinked, surprised that Luka had actually answered. Also, that he was talking so much. “So it’s only for family and lovers? Not friends?”

“Hmm? Oh, you can do it with friends, too. Probably,” Luka said between bites. He was already done with his first meal paste. Fascinated, Ivan watched as he only seemed to pick up speed for his second. “But you might want to ask first, since you don’t know how much they like you back.”

So I’d have to ask Till, Ivan thought. Then he shook his head. Why would he ask Till? You had to like someone to kiss them, which Ivan wasn’t capable of, making it a moot point.

(Also, the rebellion would succeed in beating the aliens before Till liked him.)

“There you guys are!” Hyuna arrived in a flurry of movement, setting her tray down beside Ivan’s. She peeked at Luka then blushed, looking away. “I’m glad you’re sitting with us, Ivan. We missed you during breakfast. And lunch.”

Ivan didn’t know what to say to that. “My breakfast is prepared specially. And I don’t eat lunch.”

“Specially? Your owner likes you that much?” Hyuna’s expression turned wistful. “Must be nice.”

“Sis!” Hyun-Woo came crashing into their table, almost knocking Luka to the ground in his haste. There was no hesitation in his decision to sit next to the blond, nor any tension or glares, so Ivan figured they really must’ve worked things out. Either that, or Hyun-Woo had already forgotten the whole thing. “Stop running off! If you weren’t so loud, I wouldn’t have been able to find you!” He turned to Luka. “And you! Start telling us it’s dinner time instead of just leaving!”

“But food,” Luka complained, rubbing his battered arm. “Today’s my cheat day. Those only happen once a month.”

To Ivan’s shock, he then plopped his head onto Hyun-Woo’s shoulder, rubbing up against him like a cat.

“Uh oh.” Hyun-Woo frowned, reaching up to pet Luka’s hair. “You okay? What happened?”

A grunt, then Luka lifted his long white sleeve and pointed at Ivan.

Hyuna sighed. “Really, Luka? Ivan’s just a kid.”

“He called me defective,” Luka whined, his hands coming up to clutch Hyun-Woo’s shirt. He turned his face up to look at Hyuna tearfully, the perfect victim. “He’s mean.”

“I asked if you were defective,” Ivan corrected. “You didn’t answer.” Not that he needed to. It was pretty obvious Luka had something wrong with him, after all.

For the first time, Hyuna frowned at him. “Ivan, that’s not very nice. Say you’re sorry.”

Ivan blinked at her, bewildered. “Why? It’s just a question. I’m defective, too.” Then he realized he was being difficult and stiffened, turning to bow at Luka. “I didn’t mean that. I’m sorry, Luka.”

Luka ignored him, pushing his head further into Hyun-Woo’s chest.

“What the…?” Hyun-Woo gave Ivan a weird look, like he didn’t currently have a whole teenager he was giving head scratches to. “Sis, where do you find these guys?”

Hyuna didn’t answer, too busy frowning at Ivan. But it was a different frown than before, more sad than angry. He didn’t know how to feel about it.

“Hi, Ivan!”

Ivan relaxed his posture a split second before Mizi collided with him, rocking forward to absorb her weight. “Hello, Mizi.”

“Oh! Hey, Hyuna!” Ivan felt Mizi’s head turn on his back, bending further so she could see better. “I didn’t know you two knew each other!”

“Mizi!” Hyuna grinned, her demeanor flipping in an instant. “Hiya! Where’s your other half?”

“Sua’s here!” Mizi chirped. “Sua! Look, it’s Ivan! And Hyuna!”

The crowd shifted to reveal Sua holding two empty trays. Presumably, she and Mizi had finished their dinner and were going to deposit them in the cleanup stack.

“Hello,” Sua greeted warily. She set the trays down on the table, then plucked Mizi’s arms from Ivan's shoulders and wrapped them around herself. She shot him a nasty glare, which he accepted gracefully.

“No way you’re all friends,” Hyun-Woo said, squinting at the younger crew. “You’re both too normal to get along with this guy.”

Sua nodded sagely. Mizi laughed, leaning in to press her lips to her cheek.

Ah, Ivan noted. That’s a kiss. So they like each other, too.

Not that he didn’t know that. It was stupidly obvious to anyone who watched the pair for more than five seconds. But there was a difference between two people liking each other and two people who knew the other person liked them.

Luka groaned again, sliding down Hyun-Woo’s chest and onto his lap. Ivan was pretty sure he was drooling.

”Is he okay?” Mizi asked, looking concerned.

“He’s fine. This happens pretty often,” Hyuna dismissed. “More importantly, are you getting seconds? Don’t let us keep you!”

Ivan wondered if all older kids ate this much. The twins seemed pretty active, but Luka didn’t and he’d already eaten more than everyone else combined.

“Oh no, we’re done!” Mizi giggled. “But I think Sua’s tired, so we’re going to go find somewhere quiet to lay down.” She patted her—friend? Lover?— before picking up their discarded trays, departing with a smile and wave. “Bye-bye!”

There was a chorus of goodbyes and see-you-laters, Hyun-Woo briefly stopping in his petting of Luka to wave back. Ivan observed it all, musing at their familiarity after mere days of knowing each other, if that.

Then again, it wasn’t like he was any different. Maybe it was the Hyuna Effect.

“Ivan, you didn’t tell me you were friends with Mizi!” Hyuna’s smile remained even after the two girls had left. It appeared it didn’t take much to put her in a good mood.

“I’m not,” Ivan replied honestly. “Mizi’s like that with everyone.”

Happy. Bright. Too bright, really; Ivan wasn’t used to such natural friendliness, so interacting with Mizi was always a bit unsettling. He felt similarly about Hyuna, but she’d told him they were friends. So.

“I bet she’d call you her friend if I asked,” Hyuna countered, oddly serious.

Ivan tilted his head. “Even if she did, like I said, she’s like that with everyone. She doesn’t actually mean it.”

Not like Hyuna did. Hyuna, who at their first meeting had introduced him to her brother and crush, then actively continued to seek him out. Nothing like Mizi, who only greeted him when he was nearby and kept Sua’s presence hidden unless directly asked. While Ivan respected Mizi’s protective instincts and general charm, he doubted she liked anything about him. Ergo, what she felt toward him wasn’t friendship, but polite indifference.

“You’re really emo for a little kid,” Hyun-Woo complained. “If someone says you’re friends, then you’re friends. Nothing more to it. Right, Luka?”

“The only person I like is Hyuna,” Luka mumbled. “I tolerate you at best.”

Hyun-Woo pulled on his hair. Luka yelped, shooting out of his lap and hunkering over his food tray, whimpering like he’d been hit.

“Play nice,” Hyuna said mildly. Surprisingly, she didn’t look too flustered by Luka’s declaration. Ivan wondered if it had anything to do with how weirdly childish he was acting. “Anyway, Hyun-Woo’s right. You’re too young to worry about that stuff. Don’t overthink it and just have fun with everyone, okay? No one starts off as friends—just saying so is how you start working toward it.”

Ivan gave her a dubious look. “That’s how it works?”

“That’s how it works.”

Chapter Text

The next day, Ivan tried out Hyuna’s advice.

“We’re friends,” he declared, staring imploringly at Till.

Till, for his part, just looked confused. “I…know? Does this mean you don’t hate me?”

“…yes.” Ivan didn’t actually know if that was true, but apparently things didn’t have to be true for you to say them. What a concept. “Can I sit next to you?”

“Sure??” Till was wide-eyed as Ivan plopped down next to him in the grass, putting his drawing pad to the side. “You never ask to spend time with me. What gives?”

That’s because I thought you’d say no, Ivan thought. If he just watched instead of asking to participate, there was no chance of him being shooed away. Not that he knew why he wanted to watch Till at all. “That’s different. We’re friends now.”

“Wait, so we weren’t friends before?” Till’s face twisted in rage. “Ivan, you moron! Idiot! Stupid!! Dummy!!!”

“My grades are better than yours,” Ivan pointed out. He leaned closer to Till, enraptured by the different colors his face was turning. The pinks and reds contrasted prettily with his eyes. “Aren’t you the stupid one?”

Till shoved him. Ivan let himself fall, a small smile forming on his face. Smiling was always easier around Till.

“You’re smiling again,” Till complained. “I swear you like making me mad!”

Ivan thought about it. Upon reflection, yes, that seemed accurate.

“I think I do,” he mused. “Is that weird?”

This time, Till turned purple. Fascinating. “Yes, it’s weird!!!”

With a huff, he stood up and stomped away. Ivan was quick to follow, not wanting to be left behind.

“What the—?” Till startled when he noticed him, then broke out into a run. “Stop following me!!!”

Ivan didn’t. He chased Till through the play area, a silent predator to his rowdy prey. Till’s curses and yells attracted a lot of attention, more than he was used to getting from other humans.

Ivan felt his smile widen, blossoming into a full-on grin. He laughed, the sound ripping itself from his throat with wild abandon. Right here, in this moment, he felt free. Boundless. Limitless, as Ivan chased Till and Till ran ahead, bright and beautiful and—

Till tripped.

Ivan skidded to a stop, pinwheeling his arms before gravity succeeded in bringing him down. He ended up right beside Till, who was already propped up on his elbows and knees.

“Oh no!” Till gasped. Ivan’s head shot up, briefly worried that he’d gotten hurt, before realizing that his attention was somewhere else entirely.

Both boys stared at the crumpled remains of a flower/camera, squished beyond repair.

Ivan peeked at Till. He looked devastated, as though he were the one who got squished. Slowly, Ivan copied Till’s posture and got on his knees, watching the other boy to see what he would do.

“…cheer up,” Till mumbled. Then, louder, “Cheer up! Cheer up!”

Ivan tilted his head, perplexed, but mirrored him anyway. “Cheer up…”

“What are you losers doing now?”

A random boy was glaring at them, his hands on his hips.

“WHAT?!” Till screeched.

Ivan, however, had a different question. “What’s a loser?”

”A loser is a moron without any friends, you moron,” Till snapped.

“Ah.” Ivan understood now. He turned to the interloper. “You’re wrong.” He gestured between himself and Till. “We’re friends.”

(He didn’t notice how Till stiffened at the announcement, then turned pink.)

The boy scoffed. “Of course, you’re friends with each other. You’re both freaks.”

Till snarled. He stood up—and uh oh, Ivan could see where this was going.

He tackled Till’s legs, sending them both to the ground.

“What the—?! Ivan!! Get off me!!!” Till shouted, hitting him with his fists. It hurt, but not enough to bruise, which was better than he’d expected.

“Go away,” Ivan told the other boy. “I only have an hour of free time and I already planned to spend it with Till.”

The boy didn’t need telling twice. “Freaks,” he spat, then ran off.

Till switched from hitting Ivan to pulling on his hair, redoubling his efforts now that his prey was escaping. “Ivan! Seriously! Will! You! Quit! Being!! Weird!!!”

Ivan said nothing, readjusting his grip so his arms were wrapped around Till’s waist, then tucked his head into his chest. He needed to find a way to calm Till down before he picked another fight and got another punishment.

In his peripheral vision, the flower/camera lay forgotten, watching them as everything in Anakt Garden did.

Maybe…

“Cheer up…?” Ivan muttered. “Cheer up…”

Till froze, his grip on Ivan’s hair slackening. After a few seconds of no yanks, Ivan dared to look up. Till was staring at him wide-eyed, his mouth hanging open as his hands spasmed like he couldn’t decide whether to hit him or hug him back.

Wait, no, that couldn’t be right. Surely, he was misinterpreting.

“Cheer up?” Ivan tried again. “Cheer up, Till.”

Till stared at him more, then turned pink. Reflexively, Ivan catalogued the new face, weighing the emotion between ‘anger’ and ‘embarrassment’ (the usual suspects for Till’s different face colors) before settling on ‘unknown.’

“So, so weird,” Till groaned. He went limp, throwing an arm over his eyes as he finally stopped struggling. “Do whatever you want. I don’t care anymore.”

Ivan’s eyes widened. Whatever…I want?

How strange. Ivan had never gotten to do what he wanted his whole life.

So overwhelmed by choice was he, Ivan spent the whole hour wrapped around Till, probably getting the mother of all grass stains on their white uniforms.

His grip never faltered once.

“Ivan!”

Ivan ducked as Hyun-Woo soared over his head, falling to the floor in a heap. Ivan ignored him, continuing on to where he could see Till sitting alone, dinner tray in hand.

They’d made plans to sit together tonight. Because they were friends.

“Hey!” Hyun-Woo complained. He scrambled up, dashing over and throwing his arms over Ivan’s shoulders. He went limp, the dead weight causing Ivan’s knees to buckle.

Ivan resisted for one second, two, before giving up and sinking to the floor. Unfortunately, this only encouraged Hyun-Woo to hold him tighter, pulling himself up enough to lean his chin on Ivan’s head.

“Jeez, you’re heartless,” Hyun-Woo grumbled. “I think I can see why Sis warmed up to you so fast. You and Luka are exactly alike.”

Ivan was sure that was an insult. “Go away.”

“No can do,” Hyun-Woo sighed. “Sis told me to find you. We’ve already got a table with Luka, Mizi, and Sua, so all we’re missing is you.”

Ivan, who had been reaching up to physically throw Hyun-Woo off, froze. “…why do you need me?” Surely, that many people was enough? How social were these siblings?

“Uh, because we’re friends?” Hyun-Woo pinched Ivan’s (now fully healed) cheek, sounding disgruntled. “Duh.”

“We’re friends?” That was news to him.

Hyun-Woo scowled, shaking Ivan’s head until he was dizzy. “Yes, we’re friends! Dude! Have the past two days meant nothing to you?!”

“But,” Ivan argued, too distracted by Hyun-Woo’s words to fend off the assault, “only Hyuna said we’re friends. Isn’t that how you said it works?”

Hyun-Woo stopped. “…huh. I guess you’re right.” Suddenly, he whirled Ivan around and smacked both his cheeks. “We’re all friends! You, me, Sis, Luka, Mizi, and Sua!”

“Can you say that for the others?” Ivan asked warily, leaning out of reach. They were starting to get weird looks, what with them both sitting on the floor and Ivan getting his face squished.

Hyun-Woo‘s face screwed up in thought. “I guess not. Okay, so it’s a maybe for Mizi and Sua, but definitely everyone else!”

Ivan sincerely doubted that. “Even Luka?”

“Probably definitely!” Hyun-Woo reassured him not at all reassuringly. “Now come on!”

Ivan let Hyun-Woo stand them up and lead them away two steps before he remembered his original goal. “Wait. May I invite someone?” If the answer was no, then he would just sit with Till.

“You have other friends?” Hyun-Woo looked gobsmacked. His eyes twinkled, then he grabbed Ivan’s hand, shooting him a boyish grin. “Sure, sure! Who? Where? Need me to find them for you? I’m taller, so I can see better!”

Ivan blinked at him, expression dull, before turning and walking over to Till’s empty table. Hyun-Woo tripped over himself trying to follow, almost yanking them back down to the floor.

Till looked up as they approached. His face lit up when he saw Ivan (huh? No, that couldn’t be right. He was definitely mistaken—) only to dim when he caught sight of Hyun-Woo. His eyes narrowed at their interlocked hands, his own fist clenching and unclenching on the tabletop.

“Till,” Ivan greeted. “This is Hyun-Woo, my…friend. He invited us to sit with him and his sister.” He didn’t mention Luka. It was better that way. “Mizi and Sua are there, too.”

“Mizi and Sua?” Till looked like he was about to say something else, but his eyes sparked with interest at the mention of the two girls. “Really?”

“Yes.” Ivan shook off Hyun-Woo’s grip, instead reaching out to Till. “Come with me?”

Till hesitated for a fraction of a second before reaching back and clasping their hands together. “Okay.”

Unfortunately(?), Till was quick to let go in favor of picking up his tray. He and Ivan followed Hyun-Woo across the dining area to quite possibly the most colorful table around. And not just in terms of hair.

”Finally! What took you guys so long?” Hyuna broke off her conversation with Mizi to grin at the trio, chipper as always. Luka was actively drooling on her shoulder, not that she seemed to mind. She gave Till a curious look. “Who’s that?”

“This is Till! Ivan’s friend!” Hyun-Woo announced gleefully. His voice dropped to a stage whisper. “I’ve never seen him look so happy before.”

Instinctively, Ivan felt the need to correct him, to say, “Till’s not my friend,” but…that wasn’t true anymore, was it? Ivan had declared them friends and Till had accepted it. No, he’d agreed.

Ivan’s hand went to his chest. It felt…warm.

“Look! Look how happy he is!” Hyun-Woo pointed at Ivan, using his other hand to shake Hyuna’s unoccupied shoulder. “That’s a smile, right? It totally is!”

Luka grunted, displeased by the rocking of his headrest. Everyone ignored him (except Till, who gave him a weird look).

Till glanced at the trio warily before dragging his gaze to Mizi and Sua. He waved at them, then ducked behind Ivan to clutch his shirt.

“Hi, Mizi,” Till greeted shyly. “Hi, Sua.”

Sua glowered at them, her eyebrows twitching. She was clamped around Mizi’s arm like a vise, her fingers clenched so tight around the sleeve it was a wonder she didn’t tear the fabric. “Hmph.”

”Hi, Till!” Mizi waved back, enthusiastic as ever. “Hi, Ivan! We were waiting for you!”

At her words, Ivan felt Till cling tighter.

“Thank you,” Ivan said, because that was the polite thing to do. He passed by her eager grin (too eager, what did she want from him—?) to sit next to Sua, who glared at him like he was pond scum.

Much better.

Till, who got dragged along for the ride, reluctantly set his tray down beside Ivan’s. He glanced at Mizi again, his lips twitching like he wanted to say something, before ducking his head into his food without a word.

Meanwhile, Hyun-Woo had finally found his own seat next to Luka. There was an empty tray in front of him, which judging by his expression, was an extremely bad thing.

“Ah! Luka!” Hyun-Woo cried. “Did you eat my food again?!”

Luka turned his face up at the mention of his name, but his eyes held no recognition when he looked at them. His eyes slid to Hyun-Woo, glassy with disinterest.

Slowly, as everyone watched, Luka lifted his sleeve…

…and started sucking on it.

“Ugh.” Hyun-Woo plopped his head onto his empty tray. “What the heck? I can’t get mad at him like this!”

Hyuna shrugged, giving Luka’s head a fond pat. “He’s got his ‘special training’ tomorrow. Just let him be.”

A brief, heavy silence fell over the table. No one wanted an explanation. The less details they knew, the better.

“So, Hyuna!” Mizi’s bright tone cut through the tension effortlessly. “You said your favorite class is Expression of Music? Mine, too! I know it’s difficult, but that’s what makes it so fun!”

“M-mine, too,” Till mumbled, though Ivan was sure no one but him could hear.

Hyuna grasped onto the new subject quickly. “Yeah! Though, I think that’s pretty common.” She jabbed a thumb over her shoulder. “Except for Hyun-Woo. He’s the kind of nerd who ‘can’t pick a favorite.’”

“Sis!” Hyun-Woo whined. “It’s not that weird!” He turned to Ivan. “You agree with me, right? All the classes are interesting, right?”

Ivan blinked, not expecting to be called out. “…they’re fine.”

Frankly, he didn’t see the point in picking favorites. Whether he liked it or not, he was expected to complete all his work perfectly. No point in attaching emotions to it.

“They’re all boring,” Sua huffed. It surprised Ivan, as he didn’t think he’d ever heard her speak unless it was to Mizi. “It’s stupid that they separate classes by grades. It’s not like there are a lot of us per year.”

Privately, Ivan thought the same. He’d like his classes a lot more if Till were there. Not to mention, Anakt Garden failed kids based on performance quality, not grades, so he honestly didn’t see the point in tiering them over it.

Mizi laughed. “Aw, don’t be like that! Classes can be fun, right Till? You also like Expression of Music, right?”

Till flinched so hard he dropped his spoon. He peeked through his fringe, his eyes wide and shiny. “Y-you noticed?”

“Yeah!” Mizi offered him a friendly smile. “You’re always banging your head while composing music during class. That means you like it, right?”

Hyuna barked out a laugh. “He what?”

Till blushed. “It helps me get in the zone, okay?!”

“Aw, you’re cute, too!” Hyuna grinned, ignoring the way Luka jolted in her lap. “You should show me your stuff sometime! Hardly anyone I know likes writing music; they all just sing whatever their Owners give them.”

“You like writing music, too?” Till’s eyes sparkled. “Do you play any instruments?”

Hyuna winked. “Come find me during free time and find out!”

Ivan marveled at the interaction. While Till wasn’t exactly unpopular, he’d never been particularly social, either. Usually, the other boy was closed off and reserved, too busy fighting his own battles to make time for anyone else.

The change was…nice.

…

Was it nice? Why? Why did Ivan find it nice? Till opening up to others didn’t mean he’d share more of himself with him. In fact, it could mean the opposite: if Till hung out with more people, then he’d have less time for Ivan. Time they didn’t have a lot of in the first place, in large part due to Ivan’s schedule.

Why did he care?

Because they were friends? Because Ivan said they were friends? Till may have acquiesced for now, but Ivan had no doubt that once he got to know more people, he’d see that Ivan was better off cast aside. Forgotten. Not that he’d stop following Till (why? Why did he do that—?), but his chest squeezed when he thought about Till saying, “Ivan, I don’t want to be your friend anymore.”

Desperately, Ivan thought back to that last pencil he’d stolen from Till. If nothing else, would giving it back make Till smile at him? Thank him? Or would he just scoff and leave, calling Ivan a thief and a burden and—

“Ivan?” Hyuna reached over the table to lift his chin with her fingertips, looking concerned. “You okay?”

Ivan’s vision blurred.

“Woah!” Hyun-Woo cried. He sprang into action, rounding the table to cradle Ivan’s head in his arms. “What’s the matter?! What hurts?! Do you need the nurse?!?!”

“No,” Ivan said. His voice was weirdly thick.

“Ivan!” Till’s voice cracked somewhere beyond the prison of Hyun-Woo’s fussing. “Get off him! Can’t you see you’re making it worse?!”

“Ow!” Hyun-Woo again. “You little—hEY! Did you just BITE me?!?!”

Hyun-Woo’s python grip slackened and Ivan was freed, only for Till to immediately take his place. Hands went up Ivan’s face and into his hair, turning his head this way and that.

“What’s the matter with you?!” Till shouted, shaking him hard enough to make his head hurt. “Stop it!! Stop making that face!!!”

Ah, Ivan thought. The rough treatment sobered him, the pain of getting his hair yanked somehow dispelling the burn behind his eyes and the tightness in his throat. I must look weird again.

“Sorry, Till,” Ivan managed. His voice was less thick now, which was good.

Till faltered, pulling Ivan’s head up and giving him a scrutinizing look. “You good?”

“Yes.” Even if it was a lie, Ivan would try his best to make it true.

Till scowled. “Don’t ever do that again. Moron.”

A fist banged on his head.

“OW!” Till cried, once again yanking at Ivan’s hair, this time forward so his head hit his chest. If Ivan didn’t know any better, he’d think it was a protective hold. “What gives?!”

“That’s not how you comfort people!” Hyun-Woo scolded. “Say you’re sorry!”

“WHAT?!”

Ivan heard someone sigh. Sua, maybe. “Idiots.”

“Please quiet down and return to your seats.” Everyone shut up as a NannyBot wheeled over, mechanical and shrill. “You are causing a disturbance. Further continuation of this behavior will result in punishment. Desist now.”

There was a brief pause, then a mad scramble as everyone attempted to reorder themselves. Spines straightened, clothes were readjusted, and Hyun-Woo lunged for his seat. After a few seconds of absolute stillness and silence, there was a rhythmic beep.

“Very good,” the NannyBot chimed. “Dinner concludes in ten minutes. Before then, please clean up and deposit your tray.”

Then it whirred away.

The table remained quiet, nobody daring to move until they were sure the round automaton had moved on.

Then—

“Shoot!” Hyun-Woo sprang out of his seat, looking aggrieved. “I still haven't eaten yet!”

“Ivan! Hey!” Mizi ran up to him with her usual wave and grin. “Wanna walk to class together?”

Ivan cocked his head, fixing her with a blank stare. “We don’t share the same class.”

“Oh, I know!” Mizi stepped aside to reveal she was hand-in-hand with Sua. “But I walk Sua to class every day, so we’re all going to the same place!”

Ivan’s worldview expanded. You can do that?

Immediately, he resolved to walk Till to all his classes from now on.

“Come on, come on!” Mizi took Ivan’s hand in her free one, pulling him along for the ride. “Don’t want to be late!”

Ivan thought that was ironic coming from someone who voluntarily doubled their commute, but he didn’t argue. Mizi chattered to her silent shadows as they walked, unfazed by their lack of response.

“I was so surprised to find out you were friends with Hyuna!” Mizi giggled. “She’s really cool, right? So bubbly! I’ve never met someone so nice!” Also ironic, but whatever. “Though, that was the first time I met Luka and Hyun-Woo. Can you believe they’re twins? I thought those were made up!”

Ivan wanted to tell her that information about twins was available in the advanced science textbooks in the student library, but she moved on before he could.

“Luka acted like a baby, which was kinda weird. But Hyuna said it was normal, so I guess he’s just like that?” Mizi looked thoughtful. “Do you think Luka likes being babied? Or is it that Hyuna likes babying him? I kinda get it, but also I don’t. If Sua acted like that, I’d baby her, but anyone else…hmm…” She flashed Ivan a smile. “I can’t imagine you acting that way at all! You’re more of a—a prince, you know? A cool one! Not a stinky one that forces the princess to marry them at the end.”

Sua and Ivan exchanged glances.

Is she always like this? Ivan asked with a tilt of his head.

Yes. Shut up, Sua replied with a twitch of her brow.

Soon, they made it to the classroom. Ivan was relieved, as he wasn’t sure how much more talking he could take without feeling overwhelmed.

And people thought Till was loud. Till was actually incredibly quiet, often lost in thought or consumed by his music and art. He was only loud when they fought, which while quite common, was still far outweighed by their silent companionship.

Once, Ivan had happened upon Till while he was asleep. Of course, he’d immediately laid down and just…stared at him. Reached out and brushed his hand along Till’s face, over his neck, and felt his pulse thrum beneath his fingertips until the dinner bell rang.

He hoped to someday do it again.

“Aaaand, we’re here!” Mizi announced proudly. She dropped Ivan and Sua’s hands, spinning around with yet another megawatt grin. “This was fun, guys! Let’s do it again tomorrow!”

“Tomorrow?” Ivan echoed. “Why?” He wasn’t Sua, after all.

Mizi beamed at him. “Because we’re friends, duh!”

Ivan blinked from shock, but Mizi was already walking away, using both hands to wave at them. “Bye, Ivan! Bye, Sua! Love you lots!!!”

She left as fast as she appeared, a whirlwind of color and sound vanishing past the corner of the hallway.

Left behind, Ivan and Sua were silent sentries in the entryway of the advanced classroom. They glanced at each other again, this time not out of camaraderie, but awkwardness.

Sua hesitated. “She was talking to me, you know. At the end.”

“…I know.”

Silence again.

Sua scowled. “You’re acting different.”

Ivan blinked. “Am I?”

“Yes.” Sua’s frown deepened. “I can’t tell if you’re more or less annoying now.”

Ivan just stared at her, blank-faced. This was the first time Sua had ever initiated conversation with him, and what she had to say was…this.

“You’re so creepy,” Sua muttered. She waved a hand over his face. “And people call me a doll. Why can’t everyone act more like Mizi? Smiling, happy, pretty—that’s the ideal.”

Was it? Ivan supposed so. He was a lost cause, but if Till got to be all those things…

“Still, it’s not as bad as before.” Oh, Sua was still talking to him? Okay. “At least you have emotions now. As annoying as that can be.”

Now this was news to Ivan. “I do?”

“You cried,” Sua said simply. “You don’t smile, you don’t frown, but yesterday…you cried.”

“Oh.” Ivan was confused. Was that why Hyun-Woo and Till were acting weird? Because they thought he was crying? The idea was…weirdly comforting. “I didn’t, though?”

Sua glared at him. “You were tearing up. Which is, like, step one of crying.”

Ivan stared at her.

That wasn’t a thing…was it?

“I can’t believe you cried over Till finally making friends who aren’t your stupid self,” Sua muttered. “Pathetic.”

Then she left, taking a seat in the far back corner away from everyone else.

Left behind, Ivan stood in the doorway, still reeling from all the revelations he’d received in the past ten minutes. No, the past few days.

He’d gained not one, not two, but four friends in less than a week. He was not only allowed, but expected to spend time with them. Lastly, he discovered that the secret to unlocking his emotions wasn’t through practice, but by being the target of the emotions of others.

Sua was wrong. It wasn’t Till who made Ivan ’tear up’ yesterday, but Hyuna with her gentle fingers and “You okay?” He didn’t know why yet, but he was certain that was the case.

As Ivan mechanically made his way to an empty seat, he wondered what other feelings he could get.

Chapter Text

“Can you back off?” Till held his pen out like a sword, warding Ivan off. “Don’t look! I mean it!!”

Ivan sat on his haunches, obedient. “Okay. Sorry.”

Till gave him a suspicious glare, then huddled back over his drawing pad, scribbling furiously.

Ivan left him to it. He watched as Till’s pen dragged across the page, making loops and lines that painted a picture unknown to anyone else. More importantly, he watched Till, captivating as ever with his focused eyes and little tongue poking past his lips.

Artificial wind blew past them, swirling through Till’s hair and depositing a single leaf in the strands. Ivan itched to take it out, but was just as content to leave it be, enjoying how the green blight contrasted nicely against its silver nest.

Till peeked up at him, then back down to his drawing. “Your eyes are red again.”

“…they are?” Ivan felt his heart jump in his chest at the thought of Till watching him closely enough to make observations.

“Yeah.” Till’s ears flushed red, though he didn’t look up again. “They’re usually black—like super black, like space black—but sometimes they turn red. Like when we fight. Or when you’re staring at me like a creep.”

“Oh.” Ivan wondered why that was. “Does it bother you?”

“…no, not really,” Till muttered. “But sometimes it’s scary. Only when you look like you want to eat me, though.”

Ivan didn’t think that metaphor was supposed to sound as nice as it did. “Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize.” Till frowned. “You know what? Forget it. Just shut up and let me finish.”

They sat in silence for a while. Kids ran past them, some accompanied by teenagers. One girl whacked another boy with a mechanical fish.

…it looked fun.

Ivan’s eyes slanted over to Till. Slowly, he inched closer to him. When Till didn’t react, Ivan risked silently pushing his head into the other boy’s lap under the drawing pad, closing his eyes.

Till flinched, but said nothing. Wordlessly, he readjusted his position, lifting the pad briefly before resting it against Ivan’s head, then resumed drawing.

The long strokes of Till’s pencil felt like fingertips against his skin. If Ivan emptied his mind, he could almost pretend that Till was stroking his hair.

He curled up tighter at the thought.

Too soon, Till finished his drawing. The pad left Ivan’s head as it was presumably lifted for inspection, its owner making a dissatisfied noise.

“Till…?” Ivan whispered. He kept his eyes shut, not wanting to let go of this paradise just yet. “Are you done?”

“Don’t look!” Till barked. Papers rustled as he tucked the drawing pad somewhere out of reach, not that Ivan was trying to get it. “It’s not—it’s bad, okay?!” His voice lowered to mutter, “No matter how many times…still can’t get it right…”

Lies. Everything Till made was perfect.

“Oh,” Ivan said, swallowing his disappointment. Till wasn’t usually secretive about his art, but when he was, Ivan couldn’t help but feel rejected. “Okay. I’m sorry.”

A hand pulled at his hair.

“What did I say about apologizing?!” Till yelled. Ivan’s eyes flew open as his head got yanked up, coming face-to-face with Till’s angry pout. Cute. “Stop it! You’re making me feel bad!!”

“Sor—“ Ivan paused, recalibrating. “Okay, Till.”

His heart thumped in his chest. He could barely think past the bum-bum-bum, his thoughts a disordered mess of, He’s so cute, and, Huh?

Ivan blinked hard, trying to empty his mind again. Lately, being around Till was just as confusing as it was comforting. He kept doing things he couldn’t explain, thinking thoughts he didn’t understand, and feeling stuff he had no name for. It made his chest hurt.

Till glared at him some more, his eyes a little teary, before abruptly releasing him. He shoved Ivan’s head back into his lap, his fingers still tangled in his hair. Slowly, awkwardly, he swished his hand in what was unmistakably a pet.

Ivan froze. He hardly dared to breathe as he felt Till’s clumsy fingers stroke back and forth, back and forth. Ivan’s throat thickened and his eyes started to burn (tearing up, Sua’s voice whispered), so he quickly tucked his face into Till’s stomach, clenching his hands into his shirt.

“You’re so hard to read,” Till grumbled. “Your face never matches the situation. Who looks like that when they’re being yelled at? Weirdo.”

Ivan buried his head deeper. He wasn’t sure what face he’d been making, but he’d make it over and over again if this is what it led to. He’d make it forever.

Neither of them got up until the dinner bell rang.

Luka leapt out from behind a tree, murder in his eyes as he held up a rock.

Instinctively, Ivan ducked, then barreled forward and crashed into his legs.

“You little—!” Luka yelped, losing his grip on the rock as they went down.

Ivan kicked it out of reach, then shimmied up Luka’s body so he was covering as much of it as possible and clamped both hands around his wrists.

Luka thrashed. Ivan let him, knowing it would only tire him out.

Eventually, Luka went limp. His breaths came out in harsh pants, almost dislodging Ivan with the force of his heaving. “Ugh. I swear I’ll kill you!”

Ivan nodded solemnly against his chest. “You can try.”

Luka screeched and started thrashing again.

This was how Hyuna found them. “…what are you guys doing?”

“Luka tried to kill me; I’m restraining him,” Ivan summarized succinctly. Then, because he was polite, “How are you?”

Hyuna sighed. She put her hands on her hips, putting on her Disappointed Face. “Luka, stop bullying Ivan. You’re embarrassing yourself.”

“He’s bullying me!” Luka protested. “Look at us!”

Ivan blinked up at Hyuna, his eyes wide and innocent.

“…sure,” Hyuna said. “He’s half your age, Luka. Come on, I’ll help you up.”

Never one to inconvenience, Ivan rolled off Luka so they could get up. He knew that Luka wouldn’t try anything with Hyuna present, anyway.

“This is what? The third time this week?” Hyuna complained, hoisting Luka up by the arm. His face twitched from pain, but smoothed out again when Hyuna began fussing over him, straightening his clothes and running her fingers through his hair. “I’ve never seen you play so rough before. What if you get hurt?”

“I won’t be the one getting hurt,” Luka muttered darkly. He quickly adopted an angelic smile when Hyuna glared at him.

Ivan watched them quietly, wondering if maybe now would be a good time to leave.

Before he could, Hyuna turned to him. “You’ll come get me if one of you gets hurt, right?”

Ivan nodded, because he was practicing how to lie. Truthfully, he didn’t see how he could come get her if Luka succeeded in killing him—and he certainly wasn’t going to be the idiot who saved his wannabe killer.

Luka glared at him over Hyuna’s shoulder like he could tell exactly what he was thinking.

“SIII~IIIS!”

Hyun-Woo appeared out of nowhere, catapulting into Hyuna and Luka with the force of a meteor. Ivan stepped back as the trio went down, pleasure flashing through him as Luka made a terrible honking wheeze.

“Ack!” Hyun-Woo pushed himself up, his eyes going wide and frantic as he scanned over Luka. “Sorry, Luka; I didn’t see you there! You’re so pale, I thought you were a ghost!”

Luka lifted a trembling hand and pulled at Hyun-Woo’s hair. “You…idiot…I’ll…kill you…too…”

“That’s not funny!” Hyuna grouched, pushing Hyun-Woo off and lifting Luka by the collar of his shirt. When she stood up, their height difference made his feet dangle a few inches off the ground. “Stop joking about killing people! Especially when I keep catching you putting rocks in your sleeves!!”

“He’s doing what?!” Hyun-Woo yelped, jumping back so he could cower behind Ivan.

Luka blinked, then held his sleeve up to his mouth. He turned his big doe eyes down at Hyuna, looking particularly delicate as he swayed gently in the air. “Huh?”

Hyuna blushed. “Quit it!!!”

Ivan observed them with wide, unblinking eyes. No matter how often he saw this dynamic, he never understood it. “Hyuna, why do you like Luka, again?” He could discern no likeable traits about the guy. Well, except for maybe… “Is it because of his looks?”

Hyuna sputtered. She dropped Luka, who fell like a marionette with his strings cut. “I—I’m not—that’s—you—“ Her blush expanded to cover her whole face, then she turned on her heel. “I’M LEAVING!!! You both need to think about what you did!!!!!”

“Ah,” Ivan said as he watched her sprint away.

At his feet, Luka‘a eyes glinted with unrestrained malice. His hand closed around the earlier discarded rock (rookie mistake—Ivan should’ve kicked it further away), raising it slowly in a clear threat.

Ivan reacted by drawing back his foot to kick him in the face, then thought better of it. Hyuna would be mad if I hurt him.

Changing strategies, Ivan pivoted to Hyun-Woo, who only had time to say “Wha—?” before he swept his legs out from under him and shoved him on top of Luka.

Then he booked it.

“IVAN, YOU TRAITOR!!!” Hyun-Woo howled. “Wait, Luka—BAD LUKA, PUT DOWN THE ROCK—!”

“You’re pretty. I like you.”

The shy words immediately made Ivan want to turn around. He would’ve, if he hadn’t recognized one of the two figures he’d accidentally stumbled upon.

“Oh!” Mizi smiled at the unknown boy, though her hands were clenched tight behind her back. “Thanks! But I don’t think we’ve ever really talked?”

“I don’t need to talk to you to know I like you,” the boy pushed, now leaning forward. His blush rode high on his cheeks and spilled over to his ears, like a wound across his face. “We can just get to know each other now!”

Mizi’s smile stiffened. “Oh. Well, I’m pretty busy with my own friends…”

“Can’t you just ditch them?”

Quietly, Ivan attempted to back away. Unfortunately, Mizi’s eyes snapped to him at the movement in her periphery.

“Ivan! There you are!” she greeted cheerfully, not hesitating to run over and wrap herself around his arm. “You’re heading to lunch, right? Me too!”

Ivan was about to refute her when he caught sight of the other boy. His expression was dark, his fists clenched at his sides as his eyes narrowed at their point of contact.

One week ago, Ivan wouldn’t have cared. He’d’ve been gone already, disengaging from the situation before it even started. Honestly, he still didn’t really want to get involved. But with the fresh memory of Mizi calling them ‘friends’ in his head and her trembling fingers curled around his bicep…

Well.

The library can wait.

Ivan didn’t spare the boy another glance as he followed Mizi’s unspoken command and started heading toward the cafeteria. “We’re late. The others probably already started eating.”

“Sorry, sorry!” Mizi laughed. It sounded genuine, even though Ivan knew it must be fake. “I’m dumb, so I stayed longer to ask the teacher some questions. Hey, are you good at tutoring? Sua and I tried once, and it was a disaster. She’s a natural genius, so it‘s hard for her to—“

She continued chattering long after they’d already left the boy and turned down several hallways. Ivan let her, her punishing grip becoming incrementally more relaxed as they went.

“—and Sua’s just so amazing, you know? We sing well together and I like how pale and delicate she is, plus she has the most beautiful smile—oh! We’re here!” Mizi relinquished her hold on Ivan in favor of taking his hand. She eagerly tugged them toward the sweet line. “You like this flavor too, right? I think I remember you getting it.”

Finally, something Ivan could answer. “Yes.”

Mizi halted mid-step, blinking, then grinned before continuing forward. “I knew it! Hey, I know I’ve said this before, but you’re like a real life prince! So cool, showing up to save me just when I need it.” As they got in line, her expression turned serious. “That…was okay, right? I didn’t bother you? I—I know that guy meant well and I just kinda freaked out and clung to you, but…you don’t mind, right?”

Ivan did mind. But it would be impolite to say as much, so instead he settled for, “I don’t mind.”

Mizi’s smile was so bright it hurt. “Okay! Thank you!!” She shuffled closer, throwing her arms out to hug him. “I’m so glad we’re friends!”

Ivan froze. He didn’t think he’d ever been hugged before in his life.

It was warm. Too warm? Tight. Too tight? He didn’t know, couldn’t discern anything past the hurricane of conflicting emotions and thoughts.

Mizi didn’t seem to mind how stiff he was nor that he didn’t reciprocate, easily letting go when she dubbed a sufficient amount of time had passed. “Thank you, again! I’ll be counting on you in the future, okay?”

Still reeling, Ivan was about to forsake his own self-discipline and protest when he caught sight of their budding friend group across the cafeteria.

Hyuna had two spoons and was tapping them rhythmically against the table while Till watched, rapt with fascination. After completing some type of beat, she passed the spoons over to him. Till eagerly replicated it, to which Hyuna grinned and grinded her fist into his hair. Till squawked, shoving her aside, though anyone could see how his cheeks were flushed from pleasure.

Some hungry beast deep in Ivan’s core lifted its head, pausing in its constant scratching at his ribcage in favor of observing this simple moment. Aching. Wanting.

“Okay,” Ivan heard himself say. “You can count on me.”

Ivan stood at the edge of the play area, where he’d been standing for the past twenty minutes. Children were scattered all around him making flower crowns, but he felt no inclination to join them. Not just because of the cameras, but also because involving himself in their joy felt about as achievable as punching through steel.

Today was their monthly Owner Visitation Day, and he’d just gotten back from seeing Unsha. It went…fine. More than fine, really. Unsha had laid out a feast (no part of which he could eat), took him to a party (where he was paraded around to be poked and prodded at for hours), and given him a haircut (sure. Whatever. Why not?).

All of it was very grand and generous. Essentially, Ivan had spent the whole day being pampered and praised. Most owners didn’t put in half as much effort into their pets, if they showed up at all. In comparison, he was quite spoiled.

It didn’t stop the horrible, clawing emptiness in his chest.

Upon returning to Anakt Garden, Ivan had gone to his room to study…then kept going. His impromptu walk led him to the play area, then through it, until he’d reached some sort of service tunnel surrounded by an abundance of flowers and kids. He didn’t know if the flower crown making was a guided activity or a spontaneous group thing, but either way it just added to the numbness that had been plaguing him all day.

Ivan wondered if any of his peers knew about the cameras. At this point, he was starting to think he was the only one.

He wasn’t sure why he was still watching them. It was boring and probably the most unproductive thing he’d done all week. Yet, he couldn’t bring himself to walk away.

Gray seeped into his vision. Colors blurred and mixed until he couldn’t tell the difference between a tree and a person, their bright laughter fading into a wash of static. Still, he watched; isolated and invisible as the static grew and the gray converged, consuming him under their—

A red flower crown sailed past his head.

Unconsciously, Ivan’s eyes moved to track it. Moments later, Till blazed past him like a shooting star, the bruises on his face doing nothing to detract from his natural starlight.

Ivan hardly registered that his feet were moving until he was already in the tunnel. Down they went, Till dashing into a side door to chase after his runaway accessory while Ivan followed mindlessly, caught in his orbit. Upon reaching his destination, he elected to remain in the hallway, half-hidden behind the doorframe as he peeked inside.

Unfortunately for Till, a wagyein was occupying the room and had taken an interest in his flower crown. Even more unfortunately, Mizi was also present, her whole body frozen with her hands over her mouth as she quivered before the beast.

Ivan had no idea what had happened in the ten seconds it took for him to arrive, but Till was already on the ground with heavy, gasping pants. His jaw hung open as he swiped at his spit-slick mouth, highlighting the bruise there.

Ivan gripped the doorframe tighter.

The wagyein bared its teeth, agitated by the humans’ presence in its already too-small room. It growled, crouching in a clear show of intimidation.

As always, Ivan silently observed the scene. Till was on the ground. Mizi was frozen in fear. The wagyein, large and imposing as it was, was chained up with its human-sized teeth far out of reach. Though it could still bat at the pair with its chitin paws, it looked more protective of the lopsided crown than anything.

Then, something miraculous happened.

Ivan knew that it wasn’t likely that his peers knew about the wagyein. Grooming them was a chore done by older kids, and he didn’t know anyone else that read interspecies guides in their free time. He was also smart enough to understand that, because the kids his age were unfamiliar with this large, pointy, growly creature, they were bound to be afraid of it.

It didn’t stop Till from standing up.

Ivan could only see his back, but that was enough. The image of Till getting up, still bruised and panting, and growling back as he stood between the wagyein and Mizi was…was…

Suddenly, Ivan understood exactly what he felt for Till.

The gray faded. The static ceased. Colors erupted into high definition as the center of his world slid firmly into place.

Ivan loved Till.

Probably had for a while.

Ivan loved Till, and a million things started to make sense. Why he couldn't get him off his mind. Why smiling was so easy around him. Why he always, always craved his attention. Why even the title of ‘friend’ had felt like a holy grail he’d been blessed enough to touch.

Ivan loved Till.

He loved him, and they were both going to die.

Unless…

Unless he did something about it.

Chapter Text

Till got in trouble for riling up the wagyein.

His restraints were even harsher than last time, his detention cell the size of a broom closet. Still, Ivan didn’t panic. If anything, the location made his job easier since it was more remote.

He’d known the robot sentries’ patrol schedules for a while now. They weren’t hard to figure out. Everything mechanical performed specific functions at specific times (just like him—), so it was really only a matter of watching them and writing it down. Still, there was one hangup.

Hyuna.

Ivan’s first friend. The whole reason he had friends at all, including Till. If it had been two weeks ago, he wouldn’t have hesitated to grab Till and run straight for the rebels’ hideout, but now…

Hyuna taking his hand. Hyun-Woo lifting him up in the air. Mizi laughing as she walked him to class.

Till defending Mizi.

Ivan may be a solitary existence, but he knew the others weren’t like that. Till wasn’t like that. If they ran, there was a nonzero chance that Till would run back.

That wasn’t acceptable.

“Hyuna,” Ivan said, catching the older girl’s arm on her way to dinner. “Come with me.”

Hyuna patted his head, which while nice, wasn’t what he wanted. “Hold on, Ivan. Let me get my food first, then we’ll sit down.”

“No.” Ivan tugged harder. “Follow me. Now.”

Hyuna startled, then looked at him. Really looked at him. Slowly, her expression melted from casual friendliness to stoic concern. ”…should I get Hyun-Woo and Luka?”

Not Luka, Ivan almost blurted before biting his tongue. He nodded, hoping to convey the seriousness of the situation.

“Okay.” Hyuna’s hand drifted down to his shoulder, giving it a firm yet gentle squeeze. “Okay. Just give me a second.”

After she left, Ivan pivoted and strode toward the lunch line. He spotted Mizi and Sua easily, the former’s hair being among the most eye-catching in Anakt Garden.

“Come with me,” Ivan muttered, low enough so the others couldn’t hear.

Mizi turned around, surprised. She was currently three people away from the food dispenser. “Ivan?”

“Mizi. Sua.” He locked eyes with the black-haired girl. “Come with me. We need to go. Now.”

Sua’s eyes narrowed. “Go?”

“Go,” Ivan affirmed. “Follow me.”

Mizi frowned. “Ivan, it's dinnertime! We can’t just—“

“Mizi.” Sua put a hand on her arm, giving her an unreadable look. “Let’s go.”

Mizi stared at her. Her expression changed twenty times within a second before settling on grim determination. “…okay. Let’s go.”

Hyuna and the others were waiting at the door. Ivan nodded at them before sweeping out of the cafeteria, heading straight for the unused dorms.

He counted the doorways as he passed. At the twenty-third one, he took an electronic decoder out of his pocket and held it against the scanner.

“Gift,” Ivan explained to Hyun-Woo’s slack jaw. “To remove the collar.” It did other stuff too, obviously, not that Unsha seemed to know. Most likely, he’d simply bought the priciest pet items on the market before handing it off to his prized investment, never actually bothering to read the manual.

The room unlocked, and there was Till. Bound and gagged, restraints on every limb, and barely conscious to boot. There were no new bruises on his face, but that didn’t mean anything. After all, the face was only a small percent of the body.

Ivan worked quickly yet quietly, well-practiced from his two years of experience doing this multiple times a week. Till stirred as he finished unlocking the arms and started on the torso, blinking blearily at the pallid group.

“Ivan…?” Till croaked. He sounded dehydrated. It pulled at Ivan’s heartstrings, but they couldn’t risk grabbing supplies. The diet controls were the one thing he’d never figured out how to bypass. “Mizi? Hyuna? What—what are you all doing here?” His glassy eyes slid over them, drugged and disoriented.

Ivan stuck his fingers in his mouth.

Cries of shock abounded, but Ivan ignored them. Till gagged, his eyes bulging, but Ivan held strong. Only when he felt liquid pool did he remove his fingers, sidestepping so Till’s puke landed on the floor.

“Ivan!” Mizi shrieked. “What—?!”

Ivan shoved his sleeve over her mouth, boring holes into her with his stare. “Be. Quiet.”

When he withdrew his arm, Mizi’s mouth hung open but not a sound came out.

Ivan explained as he crouched to free Till’s legs, the last of his restraints. “Without water, food, or rest, vomiting is the quickest way to get the drugs out of his system. Normally, I’d visit him after bedtime so I wouldn’t need to do this, but that’s not an option right now.” Not when I have to sneak all of you out, too.

When Till fell forward, finally free, Hyun-Woo was the one who caught him. Ivan looked up at him in surprise.

“What?” Hyun-Woo grimaced. “I’m not a complete idiot. Someone’s gotta carry this guy, and no offense, but I’m stronger.”

“We’ll take turns,” Hyuna decided. Her face was borne of steel, suddenly all business. “Ivan, you just focus on leading the way.”

Mizi still looked confused, but didn’t argue as Sua took her hand. Together, they trekked down the winding corridors, through a service area that was perpetually under construction, and out of a tunnel that was half-metal, half-dirt.

“I know this place,” Sua muttered. “How are we gonna get down the cliff? Ivan—“

“I know,” Ivan interrupted. “Just follow me.”

He made a hard turn as soon as they exited the tunnel, traveling up the mountain instead of down the cliff side. Scattered bushes and trees did their best to deter them, but Ivan never faltered in his chosen route. After some time, Till quietly changed hands from Hyun-Woo to Hyuna.

The sky bled as the sun dipped below the horizon. As per the current cycle, no moons were out. It darkened the scenery, transforming the green and yellow plant life into wispy black shapes.

Finally, they reached a large field. The grass was tall enough to brush Ivan’s knees, and the second he saw it, a smile touched his face. He turned around, unknowingly shocking his friends speechless with his beatific grin. “From now on, we’re no longer on Anakt Garden property. Over there is the city, that way the human slums, and there—“ his finger shifted somewhere between the two spots “—is the rebellion.”

“The rebellion?” Hyuna readjusted Till in her arms, her expression wary. “What rebellion?”

“The human rebellion.” Ivan cocked his head, giving her a puzzled look. “You…don’t know about it?”

Weird. They weren’t anything huge, but they made the news every now and then. Owners, in particular, liked to badmouth the rebellion to their pets, calling them ‘human terrorists.’

“I know about it,” Luka intoned. His eyes were dull, his face suspiciously blank. “But I can’t come.”

“What?!” Hyuna rounded on him. Her fierce glare was betrayed by the wobbling of her lower lip. “Luka! This is—this is everything! How could you—?!”

“I wouldn’t last a month,” Luka said simply. He looked resigned. “My condition…I need doctors. Machines. Medicine. I can’t leave.”

Quietly, Ivan moved closer to Hyuna in case she dropped Till.

Mizi looked distressed, clinging to Sua’s arm as her gaze jumped between the two older kids. There was an edge of steel to her though, like she was subconsciously calculating the most advantageous route.

Sua reached her answer faster.

“Fine.” She marched closer to Ivan, clamping her hand on his shoulder. The message was clear: no matter what, you’re taking Mizi and me to the rebellion. “You can stay and live for a few more years until you die on that stage. Because that’s so much better than dying free.”

Luka‘s expression soured. “I don’t care about being free. I care about—” He stopped, his eyes snapping to Hyuna. “…Hyuna. What do you want to do?”

Hyuna’s face crumpled. She looked down at Ivan. Then Mizi. Then Till. Then, over her shoulder at Hyun-Woo. “I-I’m going.” Her voice cracked on a sob. “I’m sorry, Luka. I’m so sorry. But I’m going.”

The defiant light in Luka’s eyes faded. His shoulders slumped, his white sleeves coming up like an omen. He buried his face in his hands for ten seconds, twenty, before he removed them. The expression left behind was one of large, soft eyes and a flushed, dopey grin. “Okay. I’m going, too.”

Hyuna sobbed harder.

Wordlessly, Hyun-Woo bent down in front of Luka. The blond obediently climbed onto his back, still smiling as he nuzzled into his hair. Contrary to Luka’s blissed out expression, Hyun-Woo’s face was one of grim resignation.

No words were spoken as they continued their journey, the endless waves of grass getting more and more sparse until they were greeted by a more desert-like biome.

Till stirred awake when Hyuna stumbled over a particularly pesky dune. “Wha—?” He sucked in a breath. “Oh. Wow.”

Ivan stopped, turning back to look at him and follow his gaze up toward—

Shooting stars painted streaks of gold against a blood red sky. Dozens of meteors flew by every second, all of them dancing to an unsung tune.

Ivan glanced back down at Till, who was shining brighter than any star. His mouth was hanging open, his eyes glittering with an intensity that matched the meteors’. His red cheeks and golden smile mirrored the blazing cosmos, like he’d somehow managed to infuse it into his very skin.

He was beautiful.

Till was beautiful, and Ivan loved him.

The thought made him smile. Soon. We’ll be safe soon.

“Don’t stop now,” Ivan said aloud to the others, who had also stopped to stare. “We can watch as we go. If we keep this pace, we’ll get there by morning.”

“Morning, huh,” Hyun-Woo muttered, still facing the heavens. He adjusted Luka on his back, sweat pouring down his temples. “Fine. Small price to pay for freedom, I guess.”

“Freedom…” Mizi echoed, speaking up for the first time in hours. She sounded disbelieving, but not in the way that suggested she disagreed. More like she literally could not believe.

“Yes,” Ivan answered the unasked question. “I promise they’re real. They’ve even drawn me a map to their base before.”

Till’s eyes snapped from the meteor shower to him. “They what? Who?! Wait, where are we going?!?!”

“The human rebellion. Keep up,” Sua griped. She glared at Ivan. “You…are you actually stupid? You had a way out this whole time and still stayed? Why? Why now?”

For a while, Ivan didn’t respond. “…I don’t know. I guess I just didn’t have any reason to leave.” Against his will, his eyes found Till’s. “And then I did.”

Till stared back, looking so, so lost.

“If you’re awake now, do you mind walking?” Hyuna asked, gently shaking Till to get his attention. “I need to carry Luka before Hyun-Woo passes out.”

“Will not!” Hyun-Woo screeched, and the tension broke.

Mizi laughed, a little deliriously, as a blushing and sputtering Till slid out of Hyuna’s arms onto the sand. Hyuna then plucked Luka off Hyun-Woo’s back, unceremoniously swinging him around her torso like she’d done it a million times before. Luka was only too happy to change rides, clinging onto her neck. Sua wrinkled her nose as his elbow got a little too close to her face, ducking behind Mizi for cover.

Amidst the chaos, Ivan sidled closer to Till. Hesitantly, he took his hand, unsure if the gesture was welcome but emboldened to try nevertheless. Even though it had been less than twelve hours since he’d discovered his feelings, he wanted to convey them, even if only in this small way.

Till startled and looked down. Ivan held his breath as teal eyes flashed up to meet his, then—

Till squeezed his hand.

Ivan’s smile outshone the sky.

“What,” was Isaac’s first word when he opened the door.

“Hello, Isaac.” Ivan didn’t spare him a glance as he swept past him into the base. Till followed along, hand in hand as they were. “Where’s your water? And food?”

Isaac balked. “What the f—fire kid??? Hey, you can’t just—!”

“Isaaaac, who’s at the door?” A brown-haired teen padded into the room. His face lit up when he spotted Ivan. “Oh hey, it’s fire kid! Gosh, I thought you were dead!”

“Dewey!” Isaac hissed. “Look, kid, not that you’re not welcome here, but can you at least slow down so—“

“Hellooooo~!” Hyuna traipsed in, all smiles and charisma despite the teenager strapped to her back. “Yo terrorists, we come in peace!”

“You’re having way too much fun calling them that,” Hyun-Woo scolded from just behind her. “Ivan said that was propaganda from—oh! Hi!” He beamed at Isaac, taking his slack hand and shaking it. “Wow, you’re old! Are you a Provider?”

Poor Isaac looked overwhelmed. “I-I’m nineteen.”

“What the? I thought there’d be adults.” Sua blazed in with a scowl, strangely domineering as she dragged in an unusually timid Mizi. “Please tell me we didn’t escape Anakt Garden for this.”

“You escaped Anakt Garden?!” Isaac yelped, which was about where Ivan stopped listening.

He turned to the brown-haired teen (Dewey?). “Water. Food. Where is it?”

The teenager grinned, looking enthralled by the new faces. “Come on, I’ll show you! My name’s Dewey, by the way. Are you finally gonna tell me yours, or should I keep calling you fire kid?”

“Ivan,” Ivan introduced, pointing to himself. He gestured to the others in quick succession. “Till. Hyuna. Hyun-Woo. Luka. Sua. Mizi.” He turned back, deadpan. “Water?”

Dewey laughed. “You’re just as funny as I remember!”

He led them deeper into the facility, disappearing behind a small mountain of boxes before resurfacing with resealable water pouches and a few thick packets of what appeared to be soft tree bark mixed with crystalline fruit.

“Thank you,” Till mumbled as he and Ivan were handed portions.

“You’re welcome!” Dewey chirped, then left to distribute breakfast to the others.

Ivan didn’t hesitate to tear into his rations. When Till didn’t move, he reached over and opened his, too.

The expression on Till’s face was weird. He’d been uncharacteristically docile the whole way here, allowing himself to be half-carried, half-led to this strange unknown place with little contest. Although there were times when his steps faltered, he only needed to look back at the others to find his footing again. A habit that Ivan had only noticed because his heart quaked every time he felt Till slacken his grip.

Till opened his mouth, but no sound came out. He looked vaguely frustrated, equal parts relaxed and tense, like he had the mother of all conflicting emotions in his chest. “…why do they call you ’fire boy?’”

Ivan was sure that wasn’t the question Till wanted to ask, but answered it anyway. “Probably because I showed them how to start a fire with rocks. That's why they tried to recruit me.”

“The rebellion tried to recruit you?“ Till hissed. He looked incredulous, a much more identifiable emotion than the previous ambiguous one. “When?!”

“Two years ago, before I was captured and sold to Unsha.” Dropping his gaze, Ivan chanced a bite of the mystery food. It was salty, but overall not bad. “Actually, they're sort of why I got caught in the first place. Not that I’m mad.”

Till stared at him, slack-jawed. Ivan helpfully lifted his hand and nudged the water pouch against his lips.

“Where the—?! Oh. Here.” Isaac stormed in, his shoulders sagging when he spotted them. “Ivan, right? I know I said ‘open invitation,’ but you know, two years is a long time to make someone wait. Plus, you brought friends.” He made a wide sweeping motion with his hand. “Not that I’m turning you away. You’re all way past the diaper phase, which—anyway. It’s a good thing. Probably. Jacob’s been throwing around the idea of breaking into Anakt Garden, so—not that you should be worrying about that. You’re just kids.”

Ivan didn’t reply, instead sipping at his water pouch.

“Right. You were like this,” Isaac muttered. “Good job making it here, by the way. There’s nothing but desert for miles.“ He stalked to the other side of the room, picking up a discarded hoodie and shrugging it on. “You’re lucky I’m the one on checkpoint duty. I rode a motorcycle in, but I’m sure the next guy won’t mind if I take a truck back out.”

Ah. So this was an outpost. Ivan supposed that made sense; although the location made for easy access to the city and slums, it was dangerous for the exact same reason.

He took another bite of the food, still not saying a word.

Till’s eyes ricocheted between the two of them, either ignoring or not noticing how Ivan kept nudging him with the water pouch. “So…this isn’t the rebellion?”

“Yes. No.” Isaac sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “It’s part of the rebellion. Just one of the many buildings we control.” He opened his eyes, fixing them with a steady look. “Don’t worry, I’ll be taking you to our home base. But first, we should raid a clinic or something. I don’t know what that blond kid—Luka?—has, but medical stuff is hard to come by. Especially for humans.”

“Raid? Us?” Till squeaked. He looked overwhelmed.

Impatient, Ivan shoved the water pouch into his mouth. Till flinched, his eyes widening as he was forced to gulp before he choked.

“Of course not,” Ivan said flatly. He wasn’t about to go on some dangerous quest for Luka. “You heard him. We’re just kids.”

Isaac raised an eyebrow. “Right…so on that note, I’ll be gone for a few hours. Ask Dewey if you have any questions.” He turned to leave.

“Wait.”

Isaac paused, looking over his shoulder.

“Before you go,” Ivan said, “can you please show us where we can get some sleep?”

Apparently, because Isaac had no idea what he needed to get, Luka was forced to come with. Of course, because Luka was going, Hyuna insisted she come along too. And because Hyuna went, Hyun-Woo just had to go.

Isaac was not pleased about this.

Not because the twins were a hindrance, oh no. But because they were exceptional.

All this, Ivan knew because he was unfortunate enough to be the only one of the Anakt crew awake during the two hour ride from the outpost to the main base.

Curse his self-discipline. Planning and executing the mission had taken no less than five hours, the same amount of time Ivan usually slept. Meaning, he was back to full alertness for the entire truck ride, where he was treated to Isaac’s hushed ranting to Dewey.

For. Two. Hours.

At least Till’s sleeping face was cute.

Waking up wrapped around him was better than dreaming. Never had Ivan been more thankful for limited bed space. He was similarly grateful for limited car space, for it meant that Till was all but on top of him the entire trip.

Button nose. Chubby cheeks. Warmth, so comforting it hurt.

Ivan buried his chin in silver locks, closing his eyes in unrivaled bliss.

“EVERYONE, WAKE UP! WE’RE HERE!!!” Dewey shouted, leaping out of the car before it could come to a full stop.

“Dewey, be—!” Isaac sighed. “Careful. God, that kid…”

Till and Mizi awoke with a start, almost hitting the roof of the truck with how high they jumped. Hyuna and Hyun-Woo were slower to wake, yawning and stretching in turns. Sua and Luka barely stirred.

Isaac leaned over the console, already looking tired. “Rise and shine. Everyone out. Sorry, but there’s some people you’ve gotta say hi to and accommodations to be made before you can go back to sleep.”

Piece said, he wasted no time exiting the truck. Everyone fumbled to follow, Till taking three tries to unlock the door and slide out. Ivan jumped down after him, noting how Hyuna and Hyun-Woo carried Sua and Luka, respectively.

Almost immediately, they spotted Isaac talking to a mellow-looking man with a large scar over his eye.

“Hmm? Isaac, you brought new recruits?” The man offered them a kind smile. “You’re all so young.”

“They’re from Anakt Garden,” Isaac informed him. “They escaped. Don't ask me how.” He turned to the gathered kids, waving a hand at the serene man. “Everyone say hi to Jacob. My older brother, and the leader of the rebellion.”

Chapter Text

Jacob and Hyuna got on like a house on fire. Even Hyun-Woo looked weirded out by how fast they clicked.

“Jacob,” Isaac interrupted, “we need to move Luka’s stuff. Some of that medication needs to be refrigerated and I don’t know how well those machines fared in the truck. Hyuna, wake your boyfriend so he can tell us what’s what.”

“Not my boyfriend,” Hyuna huffed, “but fine. Hyun-Woo, switch.”

The twins traded cargo, a sleeping Sua wrinkling her nose slightly as if sensing a disturbance in the force.

“No,” she complained, her head lolling. “Mizi, don’t leave me with him.”

For some reason, Ivan felt targeted.

“Be good,” Isaac warned before he, Jacob, and Hyuna left. Hyuna jostled Luka as they went, to which his only response was to drool on her shoulder.

Typical.

“I’m back!” Dewey ran up to them, followed closely by an older woman. “Vicky, say hi!”

“Sup?” Vicky greeted, clearly amused. “I heard y’all need beds? You’re in luck—we’ve got plenty.”

Ivan felt a twinge of disappointment. He’d been hoping for an excuse to share a room with Till.

“Thank you so much!” Mizi enthused. She looked a lot cheerier now that she’d had time to acclimate to the situation and get some much-needed nourishment and sleep. “Can we still share rooms? Sua and I are used to sleeping together!”

For a split second, Ivan understood why so many people had a crush on her.

“You can do whatever you want.” Vicky grinned. “That’s the beauty of this place. No aliens. No rules.”

Ivan’s heartbeat quickened. He side-eyed Till. “Want to—“

“Why do you have metal in your ears?” Till asked, blowing past him. His hands hovered around Vicky’s forearm, enraptured by the colored marks on her skin. “What are these? Did you draw them yourself?”

“The metal is called ‘piercings.’” Vicky grinned wider, offering her arm up for inspection. “These ‘drawings’ are called tattoos. I made the design, but someone else had to do the actual ink work. Hurt like a motherfucker.”

Till blinked. “Mo-ther…what?”

They continued chatting, Till’s eyes getting bigger and bigger the more he learned. Mizi and Hyun-Woo didn’t seem to mind, looking almost as interested in the conversation as Till.

Dewey sidled up to Ivan. “I can tell you’re not that into it. Don’t worry, me neither.” He winked. “Not only do a bunch of people scream trying to get it done, the recovery time can interfere with mission work.”

Ivan glanced at him but didn’t respond. Him not liking it had nothing to do with pain or ‘mission work.’ Honestly, he just thought it looked messy.

(Though, Till could definitely pull it off.)

“Aight, that’s enough chitchat.” Vicky jerked her head in the direction of the base. “First come, first serve, munchkins. Hurry up so I can get lunch.”

Being a rebel was significantly less work than Ivan thought it would be. Not because there was nothing to do, but because no one let him do anything.

No missions. No chores. At first, they let him clean the base, but soon forced him to stop because he was ‘obsessive’ and they were ‘concerned that he was overworking himself.’ One lady even had the audacity to ask if he ’needed someone to talk to about his trauma.’ Another guy wouldn’t stop calling him ‘Mr. Perfect.’

He’d had enough.

“Please steal some books during your next raid,” Ivan all but demanded, cornering Jacob mid-workout. “If you can’t, I’ll go and get them myself.”

Jacob was unfazed. “Really? I wasn’t aware you were tall enough to drive.” He adjusted the weights on his shoulders, unfaltering as he worked through a series of squats. “Besides, all you had to do was ask. What do you want? Fairy tales? Poetry?” He gave him a considering look. “Hmm. No. You like the classics, right?”

Ivan did like the classics, but that wasn’t his goal. “I want textbooks. Preferably from a beginner through intermediate understanding for all non-musical subjects, but anything is fine. Any language is fine, too.”

That got Jacob’s attention. “Any language? Including Segyein Standard?”

“Yes.”

“You’re literate in Segyein Standard?”

“…yes.”

Ivan didn’t know what the big deal was. Of course, he’d taught himself the aliens’ universal language. How else was he supposed to stay informed? Only teaching pet humans Earth languages (primarily Korean and English; allegedly for historical reasons claiming that at the time of invasion, Earth’s most popular music were in the two) was a tool of oppression. One that he quickly did away with as soon as he had access to a proper library.

“Impressive.” Jacob set down his weights, bending down so he was at eye-level with Ivan. “Can you speak it?”

Ivan gave him a flat look. “No. Humans don’t have the correct vocal chords. Not enough flatulence.”

“My bad.” Jacob smiled. “Ivan, right? You’re pretty smart.”

“Not really.”

“You don’t think so?”

“I have to study a lot to get the results I want,” Ivan explained. “Sua’s the one who’s a natural prodigy.”

“I see.” Jacob grinned. “I underestimated Anakt Garden. I should’ve known you were all geniuses when the silver-haired one started drawing all over my walls.”

Before Ivan could defend Till’s artwork, Jacob continued, “I’ll get you your books. Fair warning: everyone here is self-taught, so I can’t provide much in the way of education.” He ruffled Ivan’s hair. “Sorry. And sorry if you felt bored. Personally, I‘d’ve let you clean as much as you want, but the others get antsy when they see such a young kid toiling away. Brings back bad memories.”

Ivan didn’t care about that. He just wanted to feel useful.

“Come to me from now on; I’ve got a bunch of documents you can translate.” Jacob stood, taking Ivan by the hand and leading him out of the room. “I better watch out or you kids will come for my job. Hyuna and Hyun-Woo are already running circles around my best people—my poor little brother can hardly keep up.” He seemed to be talking to himself now, walking them to who-knows-where. “Staying educated is a good idea. We need more medical training if we want to help Luka.”

They arrived at the main room, which was essentially a wide open space housing a bar at one end and a stage at the other. There were several tables set up, some of which were filled with people socializing and eating lunch. Jacob waved at them but didn’t stop, instead continuing down the hallway leading to the supply depots.

A short way past the food supply room, Till was on his tiptoes with a charcoal pen. He made little brushstrokes, a mini forest coming to life under his hands.

Ivan’s heart fluttered in his chest.

“Ah, there’s my little graffiti artist.” Jacob smiled, letting go of Ivan’s hand and giving his head a few pats. “Why don’t you two have fun? It seems I’ve got a raid to plan.” With a parting wink, he left.

Till didn’t seem to notice the interaction, much less the new presence. Used to this, Ivan settled down against the far wall, content to watch him in silence.

It didn’t take long for Till to finish. He took a few steps back, eyed his work critically, then nodded. He turned around, spooking when he saw Ivan just sitting there staring at him.

”Oh, it’s you.” Till sighed, picking his pen up from where he’d dropped it on the floor. Silver studs gleamed in his ears, inflamed and new. “Is it lunchtime yet?”

Ivan nodded.

“Good; I’m hungry.” Till stretched, tucking his pen away. His face when he discovered the existence of pockets was one that Ivan would treasure for a long, long time. “Everyone’s here today, right? I heard that Luka’s doing better.”

Ivan nodded again. He didn’t actually know if that was true, but he wasn’t about to look into it to find out.

Till seemed to think that was the end of the conversation, disappearing into the food supply room and reappearing with two bowls. It seemed that someone had actually cooked something today. They made their way back to the main room where they found Hyuna regaling Mizi with the details of her latest mission.

“I had a gun!” Hyuna cackled gleefully. “I used it to shoot the security cameras! You should’ve seen it, Mizi—bang! Pew, pew, bam! Hurray, new clothes!”

Mizi looked enthralled. “I want a gun!”

“I’ll ask Kat next time I—oh, hey guys!” Hyuna waved at them, gesturing to some empty seats. “Sit, sit! Listen to my awesome stories!”

They sat. Till was quick to join the conversation, comfortable and relaxed after over a month of the same routine. Ivan was more reserved, preferring to people-watch as he ate.

“Hey Ivan, I heard you threatened Jacob today,” Hyuna teased. “Something about wanting to continue school? Not a bad idea, actually. I’m game.”

Till made a face. “Can’t I just do art and music stuff on my own?”

“‘You can do anything you want,’” Mizi quoted. She flashed Till a grin. “I don’t miss textbooks, either. Playing games is much more fun!”

Ivan looked down at his bowl, stirring the purple-and-white stew. “I just want to be productive.”

“Don’t I know it.” Hyuna laughed. “How many times have you gotten caught cleaning in weird places this week? Four? Five?”

“Eight,” Ivan muttered. “And polishing the weapons is not weird. They get used a lot.”

“I still don’t know how you managed to disassemble them.”

“Are we talking about the bazooka incident?” Hyun-Woo plopped down with a grin. “I think Isaac peed his pants when he saw you loading it.”

Ivan’s brow furrowed. “How else was I supposed to test its functionality?”

Hyuna howled, slapping him on the back.

“Anyway.” Hyun-Woo leaned his elbows on the table. “Mizi, where’s Sua? Still asleep?”

“Yeah.” Mizi sighed. “I knew she liked napping, but I guess I never knew how much. How’s Luka?”

“His breathing sounds better.” Hyun-Woo reached over and stole Ivan’s bowl, earning him an empty stare. “Don’t listen to the haters, Ivan. I think your cleaning has really improved his asthma.”

Never had Ivan felt so demotivated. “I’ll stop.”

Till choked on his stew.

Hyuna immediately thumped him on the back, nearly making Till face plant into his bowl. He started yelling at her while Mizi laughed so hard she cried. Lunch continued like that, noisy and raucous with enough spirit to power the whole base. All around them, the other rebels kept giving them fond looks.

As Ivan sat there with his friends, he could see why. He was fond of them, too.

When Jacob said he’d do something, he really committed.

Ivan was only halfway through the first of three new crates of books and so far he’d uncovered: four math textbooks, six science, two engineering, one physics, one astrophysics, four music, three art, two literature, and something called Three Generations by Yom Sang-seop.

“Yo, this looks sick!” Hyuna picked up an engineering textbook, tracing the metal prosthetic on the cover. “What do I need to learn to make this? Hyun-Woo, look, look!”

Hyun-Woo didn’t, too busy being engrossed in a science textbook full of blobs and the occasional squiggle. “That’s nice, sis.”

“You’re not looking!”

Ivan tuned out the ensuing squabble, peeking over at Sua. Her appearance was somewhat a surprise seeing as she hardly ever left her room, but perhaps she secretly missed school too.

“Where’s Mizi?” Sua yawned. “I thought she’d be here.”

Or maybe not.

Deciding to leave the rest for later, Ivan picked up a science textbook and the lone novel before departing for his room.

All things considered, it was a very nice room. It had a bed, desk, and mini bookshelf that he could use at his own convenience. Bathrooms were communal at the end of the hall, which he used to clean everyday before a chore schedule was implemented specifically to make him stop. Isaac had actually thanked him for the change.

Ivan sat down at the desk and opened the science textbook, eager to start learning. He expected to see the same blobs and squiggles in Hyun-Woo’s book, but instead was greeted by a lot of acronyms and straight lines in seemingly random formations.

“Chemistry,” Ivan read aloud, “is the scientific study of the properties and behavior of matter. It is a physical science within the natural sciences that studies the chemical elements that make up matter and compounds made of atoms, molecules and ions: their composition, structure, properties, behavior, and the changes they undergo during reactions with other substances. Chemistry also addresses the nature of chemical bonds in chemical compounds.”

…

…

He closed the book.

For the next raid, Ivan requested a dictionary.

Ivan spent one week holed up in his room before Till practically kicked the door down.

“Move over,” he said brusquely, climbing onto Ivan’s bed and shoving his feet aside so he could lay down. He was carrying a crumpled stack of music sheets, which he attempted to smooth out once he got settled. “I need a place to hide.”

Ivan blinked at him, nonplussed. “…hi.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Till mumbled. He was already hard at work plotting notes, so Ivan let him be and went back to his book.

It was silent for about ten minutes.

“What’re you reading?” Till asked abruptly, breaking his concentration. “School stuff? Or just a normal book?”

“It’s a math textbook.” Ivan turned it around to show him. “I’m learning multiplication.”

“Multi-what?” Till made a face, squinting at the strange symbols. “Looks confusing.”

“It’s not, actually.” Ivan flipped to the first chapter. “I had to learn how to add first, which is basically like if you have one pencil and I have one pencil, then me giving you my pencil would mean you have two pencils. But with bigger numbers.”

“Huh.” Till sounded reluctantly intrigued. “Anakt Garden never taught us anything like that.”

“I know. That’s why I’m learning.”

“…let me see.”

They spent the next two hours learning math together. Ivan showed Till how to do the addition problems, which he understood well enough. Subtraction was trickier for him, multiplication even more so, but Till didn’t give up until they got to division.

“I think you’ll be able to learn it,” Ivan encouraged. “There’s practice problems at the end of these chapters. As long as you memorize the times tables, everything under a hundred is easy.”

“For you, maybe,” Till grumbled. “Even that much will take me forever.”

There was a knock on the door, then Isaac poked his head in. “Hey Ivan, have you seen—“ his eyes narrowed. “You.”

Till squeaked and half-hid behind Ivan.

“Drawing on the walls is one thing,” Isaac said menacingly, “but the bathroom? Really?!”

“It’ll wash off!” Till defended.

“Yeah, and who do you think has to wash it?!”

“I’ll do it,” Ivan volunteered.

“Shush, you.” Isaac shook his finger at him. “You’re still banned from cleaning. Don’t think I’ve forgotten about the bazooka!”

“You’re such a nag,” Till complained. “This is why you have no friends.”

“You little—!”

Isaac lunged at him, causing Till to squawk and jump off the bed. He ran out of the room, Isaac hot on his heels.

Ivan stayed where he was, forgotten. All around him, discarded music sheets lay scattered in a similar state.

Without a word, he organized them into a neat pile on his desk before resuming his book.

Luka made his first public appearance six weeks after they’d joined the rebellion. All he did was eat breakfast and smile while the others made conversation, but that was enough to win over half the base.

“Aw, you eat so well!” Kat cooed, pushing another packet of alien fruit jerky at him. “Have as much as you want!”

Luka smiled bashfully. “Thank you.”

Ivan’s chopsticks clattered out of his grip. Suddenly, he’d lost his appetite.

Maybe he should return to his room. Breakfast had long since passed—it was just him and Luka now, everyone else wandering off ages ago. Yes, he’d stuck around for a reason, but how important was it really?

Luka’s gaze rolled to meet his. Right now there was a rare lull between admirers, so they had the table to themselves. “What do you want?”

Ivan blinked at him.

“You’re not leaving and I hate looking at your face,” Luka said bluntly. “Tell me what you want, then go.”

Ivan’s fingers spasmed before he relented. “I…want…” He cleared his throat. God, this was painful. “I want you…to teach me…how…to smile.”

There. He did it.

Luka’s eyebrows disappeared into his hairline. “Why?”

Ivan knew he meant it like ‘Why should I?’ but that wasn’t how he chose to answer. “Everyone else smiles naturally. You’re the only one I know whose smiles aren’t real, so I want you to teach me.”

Luka squinted at him. “Are you calling me fake?”

“Yes.”

“Hmph. Fair.”

“So you’ll teach me?”

“Fine,” Luka sniffed. “But you owe me.”

“Okay.” Ivan had expected as much.

Luka glanced around surreptitiously. “Not here. Follow me.”

He scooped up his gifts, tottering out of the room. Ivan was quick to pursue, gathering their dirty dishes and depositing them on the cleaning cart before he left.

They walked down the corridor, made a quick pit stop at Luka’s room to drop off the gifts, then continued on to the bathroom. They stopped in front of a full-length mirror.

“I have two methods,” Luka prefaced. “One, practice. Curve your lips—hold your face if you have to—and stay like that until it hurts. Then keep going.”

Ivan nodded. That’s how he usually did it.

“Two,” Luka continued, “is to think about something you like. Or someone. Like Hyuna.” His eyes narrowed. “Only for me, though. Think of her and you die.”

Ivan nodded again, this time more slowly. He knew this method too. He’d even implemented it a few times, though always unconsciously.

“Now, focus.” Luka’s eyes bored into him with his stare. “Think about what you like. I want to know what I’m working with.”

Ivan closed his eyes and concentrated.

Immediately, Till popped into his head. Teal flashed behind a silver as he glared, charcoal streaking across his cheek.

Ivan imagined going up to him. Imagined lifting Till’s face in his hands and wiping it off. Imagined Till letting him, perhaps giving Ivan one of those warm, rare smiles—

“Gross.”

Ivan’s daydream shattered, his eyes flying open. Luka was still staring at him, his expression now one of utter disgust.

Ivan reached up to feel his face. He was smiling, his lips upturned and slightly parted. His cheeks were even warm, meaning he was probably blushing.

“No wonder Heperu kept shocking me,” Luka tsked. “You look demented. Stop it before I hit you.”

Ivan would like to see him try. “Why? I’m smiling, aren’t I?”

“You’re smiling wrong. It’s creepy.” Luka wrinkled his nose. “Come here; I’ll fix it.”

Without any further warning, Luka put his hands on Ivan’s face, mushing his cheeks and pulling at his lips. After several long agonizing seconds, he let go, stepping back to admire his work.

“Hold that for at least ten minutes,” Luka ordered, directing him in front of the mirror. “I’ll time you.”

He started counting, quickly devolving into mumbles before falling silent. His glare was intense, pinning Ivan’s reflection with his stare. Not that Ivan noticed, too busy analyzing his new face.

A closed-mouth smile. No more blush. Eyelids at half-mast.

He looked mysterious, polite and friendly without being too much of either. Despite Luka’s vocal disdain for his snaggletooth, here it was at full prominence, lending his face enough irregularity to be compelling.

Ivan hated to admit it, but he made the right choice asking Luka for help.

“See?” Luka said smugly when the ten minutes were up. “I can actually stand to look at you now.”

Ivan nodded, having no choice but to agree. “Thank you.”

Luka flattened his hand over Ivan’s hair. “There. Do that six times a day and you’ll get used to it eventually.”

Then he sauntered off, leaving Ivan behind with a brand new smile and a begrudging respect in his chest.

Chapter Text

Contrary to Jacob’s musings, seven years later he was not ousted from his position as rebel leader. He did, however, have a whole new inner circle, as each member of the infamous ‘7NAKT’ individually lived up to their titles as geniuses.

“What’s the point of sending you out if you’re just going to get injured?” Sua griped, wrapping Ivan’s arm with a scowl. “Some field medic you are.”

Ivan grinned, unrepentant. “Sorry, sorry! It's not my fault I’m the best at hacking.”

“Stop laughing!” Sua snapped. “‘Hacking,’ yeah right. You’re just shorting out locks.”

“Yes, but I’m good at it.”

“You just wait until Hyuna finishes her universal key.” Sua tied off the knot, waving a pair of scissors in his face before snipping off the excess bandage. “Then you’ll really be useless.”

Ivan shrugged, still grinning. “I’m sure I’ll find something to do.”

He left the clinic before Sua could throw something at him, whistling as he went. He inclined his head to everyone he passed, earning him several high fives.

“Nice battle scar, Mr. Perfect!” Joon hollered, slapping him on the back. “Maybe by the time you get to my age, you won’t have anything left of that pretty face!”

“Even no-faced, I’d still look better than you,” Ivan teased.

Joon snorted, giving him another slap before continuing on his way.

Ivan walked on, detouring to the food storage to grab a water pouch before heading to the main room.

“Ivan, get your ass over here!” Hyuna called. She released Hyun-Woo from what looked like a lethal noogie, stumbling over to him. “I need you to arm wrestle me!”

“Uh oh, who gave you alcohol?” Ivan allowed himself to be dragged forward, sticking his water pouch in her mouth. “It’s only been an hour since we got back. Don’t make Jacob regret giving you the okay to drink.”

Hyuna sucked down half the pouch before spitting it out into her free hand. “Shut up, I’ve only had one shot.”

“Have you?”

“Shot. Bottle. Same thing.”

Ivan laughed, shaking his head. Hyuna herded him into an empty seat, dropping down across from him and cracking her knuckles. “Let’s do this.”

“Go easy on him, sis,” Hyun-Woo warned, scooting closer.

Mizi poked her head over his shoulder, drawn in by the noise. “Ooh, round forty-six?”

“Best out of ninety-three!” Hyuna waggled her eyebrows. “C’mon, Ives. Show me how much work you’ve been putting in at the gym.”

Dewey appeared over Hyun-Woo’s other shoulder, pink-cheeked and no doubt the reason Hyuna was already a bottle deep. “Oh shit, round forty-six?” He flashed Ivan a grin. “You keep losing. Are you sure you’ve started puberty?”

“Are you?” Ivan drank in everyone’s ‘oohs,’ propping his (uninjured) elbow on the table. “Alright, alright. Hit me.”

Hyuna won, obviously.

It was another hour before he bowed out, taking Mizi with him. They knew better than to stick around after sunset, which is when the booze really started flowing and people got on stage to sing.

“They still won’t let me try,” Mizi pouted, clinging to his arm. “It’s not fair! I want to have fun drinking with everyone, too!”

“It’s good to wait,” Ivan said mildly. “Alcohol is a depressant, not only slowing your nerve impulses but negatively impacting your liver and—“

“Ack, stop! Stop!!” Mizi clamped her hands over her ears. “I’ll wait, I’ll wait! Just stop lecturing me!”

Ivan chuckled. “Don’t worry; you’re not missing much. Luka’s the only one with a proper performance tonight, and even then he’s just rehashing the same stuff from last week.”

“Aw, but Luka’s so good!” Mizi hugged his arm again, leaning her head against his shoulder. “Ever since Hyun-Woo made that cool strobe light, I heard his dancing looks like a fairy’s!”

“Well, you can still watch if you want.” Ivan smiled sideways at her. “But Sua’s been hard at work fixing people up ever since we got back, so she might be a little tired…”

“Oh no!” Mizi released him immediately, already turning tail and racing toward the clinic. “Gotta go, Ivan! My goddess needs me!”

“Give her a kiss for me!” Ivan called after her before chuckling and continuing on his way.

His smile strengthened as he walked to his room. Upon arrival, he skipped past his door in favor of throwing open his neighbor’s.

“Till! You in here?” Ivan poked his head into the room, reflexively catching an incoming ball of cloth. “Woah, careful! You almost hit me!”

“Knock first!!!” Till snapped. He was kneeling on the floor wielding fabric scissors, halfway through cropping a lime green hoodie. “What if one day you barge in here and I’m changing?!”

Ivan put a hand over his mouth. “Oh my, Till. Don’t you think we should save that for when we’re older?”

“Don’t be a nut job and give that back,” Till griped, waving an impatient hand in his direction.

Ivan obediently tossed him the ball of scrap, which was promptly dumped on the floor. “Is this what you’ve been doing all day? Making new clothes?”

“I’m injured, what do you want from me?” Till wiggled his left foot, which had indeed been sporting a cast for the past two weeks. “How was the mission?”

Classic Till. Even cranky and in the throes of artistic passion, his first instinct was to inquire about the wellbeing of others. Ivan loved him so much.

“Good. No one got captured or died,” Ivan informed him, which was always the most important thing. “We got the bounty for another human trafficker, the one stealing high quality embryos from GenExec. Though Mizi cracked his shell, so they knocked off a couple thousand credits.”

“Cheapskates,” Till muttered. “Aren’t they killing him anyway?”

“Maybe, maybe not.” Ivan knelt down and propped his head on Till’s shoulder, fascinated as always by his creative process. “Even though they put out a bounty, GenExec is still a legit company. They might let him face trial so they don’t get in trouble for bypassing the legal process.”

“Might,” Till huffed, cutting a savage line up the middle of the hoodie. “Like any of the Segyeins actually care about their own legal process.” With careful fingers, he pinned back the hems of his cuts, shrugging Ivan off. “Don’t even breathe on me. I’m serious. This is for Hyuna.”

Ivan backed off, taking a seat in the corner where a covered easel sat. He took great care not to touch it, holding his hands over his mouth for the entire twenty minutes it took Till to finish sewing.

While he waited, he admired Till’s technique. His nimble fingers, those intense eyes, that sharp tongue poking out from between his lips…okay, so maybe he was just admiring Till.

“Done!” Till held up his creation proudly, turning it inside out to check the seams. “Do you think I should dye the sleeves? …hmm, no, it would clash. I’ve got three out of four pieces done, so I should finish in time…” He made a jerking motion at Ivan with his chin. “Hey, tell Hyun-Woo I need his help. I’ve been putting off doing the belt because of the metalwork, but I got Sua to help me with the calculations, so I should have the size specifications he needs.”

Ivan lowered his hands, daring to crawl closer. “Why don’t you come to breakfast for once and tell him yourself? You used to when we were younger.”

“I was on a schedule then,” Till dismissed, leaning to the side to stuff the hoodie in a drawer. “Being a night owl is much better.”

“You’re going to stunt your growth.” Ivan sighed. “But that’s alright. It makes it easy to beat you in fights.”

Till scowled, raising his fist. “You really want your ass beat. Keep talking; see what it gets you.”

“Is that a promise?”

”Is it—?” Till’s eye twitched. “Why do I even try?”

Ivan laughed, slumping against Till’s side and wrapping both arms around his waist. “If you bulk up, I’ll like that too. I like everything, as long as it’s you.”

Till stiffened, the fist in Ivan’s hair spasming as if it couldn’t decide whether or not to hit him again. “…yeah, okay, got it. I like you, too.”

Ivan smiled against his shoulder. “Even though I’m taller than you?”

“Don’t push it.”

Ivan laughed, squeezing him tighter. They stayed like that for a few minutes, Till eventually relaxing as he started to trace slow circles in his hair.

Ivan melted under his touch. Moments like this were what he lived for. Hanging out with the others was nice and all, but absolutely nothing compared to being with Till. Even if his feelings never got reciprocated, there was nowhere he’d rather be.

“…Mizi was really happy when you made her that jacket,” Ivan murmured, breaking the silence. “I think it was her favorite present. You two really like the flowers in Anakt Garden, huh? Even after finding out they were cameras?”

“They’re pretty,” Till mumbled defensively. “It’s natural to like pretty things.”

“I didn’t even know you could paint on fabric.”

“Of course, you can. You can paint on anything.”

They fell silent again. Ivan played with his next question, knowing the can of worms he was about to open but unable to help himself. “…is that why you like Mizi? Because she’s pretty?”

The reaction was immediate.

“Shut up!! Shut up, shut up, shut up!!!“ Till shrieked. He blushed furiously, shoving Ivan away. “I told you that in confidence! And it was only for, like, a week! I got the message when Sua kissed her in front of everyone, okay?!”

Ivan smiled dopily. “She was really pissed. She usually hates PDA.”

“Well not anymore, because I swear I catch them making out three times a week!!!” Till groaned, curling into a ball as if to physically ward off the memory. “I don’t even know how she found out. It’s not like I told anyone but you!”

Ivan huffed out a laugh. “Well, you’re not exactly subtle. Even Hyuna knew, and she’s really oblivious about this sorta thing.”

Till glared at him between the gaps of his arms. “She and Luka are dating; how oblivious can she be?”

“Hmm.” Ivan tilted his head. Considering she still hadn't clocked his feelings for Till… “About as oblivious as you?”

Till raised his fist in warning. Ivan laughed, putting his hands up in mock defense.

“Don’t start this again, I mean it!! I’ve gotten too much crap for it already!” Till scowled. “Why’re we even talking about this? What, you got a crush?”

Ivan’s eyes widened, his heart thumping in his chest.

Was Till…interested in him? In his life? In his feelings?

No, wait—this was Till. No way that’s what was happening right now. “And if I said yes?”

“Are you serious?” Till looked chagrined, setting his hands on Ivan’s shoulders and leaning in close to his face, and oh my god— “Who?!”

Ivan could scarcely breathe. “You.”

Till stared at him.

Then his shoulders sagged. He scowled, turning away. “What the heck? Don’t joke like that, you prick.”

Ah. Of course. Ivan felt his heart droop in disappointment. “I’m not joking, though?”

“Whatever,” Till muttered, getting up and collapsing on his bed. “I get it. Everyone here is too old to like, anyway.”

Ivan sat there, still slightly exhilarated and now vaguely frustrated, before tapping into his well of inner peace. It helped that he had watched Luka’s absurd courting attempts toward Hyuna over the years, as it gave him the necessary second-hand experience to understand that these things took time.

Then again, Hyuna already liked him…

Ivan mentally slapped himself. Yeah, and it still took them years. Be patient.

Seven years is a lot longer than five. Now what’s your excuse?

Ivan shook his head, forcefully dispelling his wayward thoughts. It took a long time to train himself out of his self-deprecating mindset; he wasn’t about to slip up and fall back into it now.

“I’m gonna head out,” he said lightly, standing and heading for the door. Before he left, he hesitated with his hand on the knob. “…good night, Till.”

Till lifted his arm in an approximation of a wave. “Night.”

Ivan smiled. Content, he made his exit.

He could always try again tomorrow.

“You should confess.”

“You say that like I haven’t tried.”

“Well, you should confess again!” Mizi nudged him, her eyes alight. “We know he gets crushes now. Doesn’t that mean you have a chance?”

Ivan’s lips quirked. “I mean, I tried a few days ago. He didn’t believe me.”

Mizi sighed, exasperated. “Ugh. He’s so dense.” Her eyes flitted to his. “How direct were you?”

“Pretty direct.” Ivan shrugged. “He asked me if I had a crush. I said: you.”

“…yeah, okay, that’s pretty direct.”

“See?”

“It’s because of your personality,” Sua said flatly. She surveyed the room, her nose wrinkling in distaste at the surplus of empty bottles and odd piles of glitter. “Stop messing with him and maybe he’ll actually take you seriously. You smile like Luka but act like Dewey: it’s a horrible combination.”

Mizi put a hand on her shoulder. “Sua, be nice! Can’t you see he’s hurting?”

“But Mizi,” Sua complained, “he keeps yearning. It’s sickening.”

Ivan pointed to himself. “I’m right here.”

“Don’t remind me.”

“Can we talk about this later?” Ivan gestured at the party raging all around them. “It’s Hyuna and Hyun-Woo’s birthday. I don’t want to spoil the mood.”

Mizi sighed again. “Yeah, okay. How many attempts has it been?”

“I stopped counting after I hit triple digits.” Ivan smiled sardonically. “Want the highlights?”

Confession #1: Till and Ivan are seven and eight years old, respectively. Ivan has just said, “I like you,” and is waiting with bated breath. Till says, “I like you, too,” and for a second everything is perfect. Then he follows up with, “Duh. That’s why we’re friends.” Disappointed but not giving up, Ivan counters with, “I didn’t mean as a friend.” Unfortunately, this backfires as Till exclaims, “You don’t wanna be friends?!” The battle is forfeited as Ivan rushes to reassure Till that is not the case.

ATTEMPT: FAILURE.

Confession #63: Till and Ivan are ten and eleven years old, respectively. Ivan starts his attack with an aggressive, “I love you.” Till responds with, “I love you, too,” but Ivan has learned his lesson. He says, “Not just as friends,” hoping to avoid disaster. Till’s eyes sparkle, and he thinks he succeeds. But then, Till whispers, “…you mean as family?” Ivan doesn’t have the heart to say no.

ATTEMPT: FAILURE.

Confession #124: Till and Ivan are twelve and thirteen years old, respectively. Leaving no room for misinterpretation, Ivan says, “I want to kiss you.” Till hits back with a look of disgust and shouts, “EW, NO!!! That’s gross!!!” Ivan’s self-esteem takes a critical hit. Despite whining, he quietly accepts defeat.

ATTEMPT: FAILURE.

“You really should just kiss him,” Sua grumbled. “Maybe that’ll get through his thick head.”

Ivan’s mouth flattened. “I’m not doing that unless one of us is dying. It’s disrespectful.”

“And constantly clinging to him isn’t??”

“We’re friends. That’s what friends do.”

“Is it???”

“Dewey,” Ivan said simply.

Sua sank into her seat. “…point.”

They fell silent as Till entered the room, heading straight toward the twins with a canvas under his arm and a determined look on his face. Upon arrival, he thrust a bundle of clothes at Hyuna, blushing furiously. She took it, unfolding an all-new rebel punk outfit complete with cargo pants, a leather jacket, a cropped lime green hoodie, and a double grommet belt. Till blushed harder at Hyuna’s screech, then yelped when she tackled him to the floor. Next to them, Hyun-Woo was laughing his ass off, yelling at Till to give him his gift next.

”…don’t give up on him,” Mizi said quietly. “I know it’s a lot to ask, but…keep loving him, okay?”

Ivan’s eyes softened. His smile was back on his face, more genuine than it had been all evening. “It’s not a lot. It’s the easiest thing in the world.”

Sua looked at him, then at Till who was currently shouting about the fragility of Hyun-Woo’s gift as the twins dogpiled him. “…gross.”

Suddenly, the lights cut out. The room hushed as music began to play.

“Hyuna, honey.” Luka wobbled on stage, flushed to the gills. “I know I already gave you your present. And I’ll give you another one later—“ whoops and whistles abounded at the implication of that statement, alongside a loud “YOU BASTARD!!!” from Hyun-Woo “—but this one’s for you. Happy 19th birthday.”

Without further ado, he started stripping. There was a cacophony of shrieks, several people covering their eyes while most leaned in closer. Soon, Luka was left in a sheer all-white outfit with several huge, gaping slits. He turned around, revealing the backless top, then waited for his cue. When the bass picked up, he seamlessly flew into a graceful dance, light as ever on his feet.

“Wow,” Mizi breathed as Luka’s angelic singing filled the room. She shook Sua’s shoulder, almost sending her toppling into her lap. “Wow, wow, wow!!! That’s so romantic!!! Sua, do you want me to serenade you, too?!”

Sua’s face spasmed as she obviously tried to find a way to say ‘yes’ without making it sound like she was complimenting Luka. “…he’s drunk.”

“He’s been drunk since the party started.” Ivan didn’t bother to stifle his laugh. “He should know better than to try keeping up with Hyuna when his tolerance is so weak.”

They watched as Luka, inebriated as he was, put on the performance of his life. Hyuna was enraptured, the biggest smile on her face. Next to her, Hyun-Woo looked so disgusted it was comical.

“Bastard upstaged me,” Till muttered, suddenly appearing to drop into an empty seat. “Whatever. At least Hyuna and Hyun-Woo liked their gifts.”

Ivan immediately moved to hug him. “Aw, Till—you’re so sweet! I love you!!”

“Get off me!!!“ Till barked, elbowing his cheek. “We’re in public!”

“So I can do it in private?”

”Heck no!!!”

“And you wonder why he doesn’t believe you.” Sua rolled her eyes.

Till glared at her. “Believe what?!”

“That Ivan loves you!” Mizi chirped.

Till blushed. “I-I know that! But he doesn’t have to keep saying it!”

Ivan sighed, rubbing his abused cheek. “Stop it, guys; it won’t work. Thanks for trying, though.”

“I still think you should just kiss him,” Sua said bluntly.

Till shot her an aggrieved look. “Don’t encourage him!”

“Maybe you should try serenading him, too?” Mizi wondered aloud. ”If you wrote about how much you love Till in your lyrics, then—“

“Doubtful,” Sua interrupted. “Have you seen his lyrics? They’re all super depressing.”

“Still right here,” Ivan reminded her.

“Can you guys just drop this already?!” Till snapped. “Look, I’m sorry for liking your girlfriend! Now will you all please stop teasing me with this fake gay romance crap?!”

Ivan stuck out his bottom lip. “It’s not fake, Till. I really do love you.”

“I said quit it!!!”

“This is getting sad,” Sua muttered. “Let’s stop, Mizi. I’m starting to feel bad for him.”

Mizi winced. “Yeah, me too.”

Ivan smiled wider than ever. “Still. Right. Here.”

The crowd whooped, drawing their attention. Hyun-Woo had infiltrated the stage, trying to tackle Luka into submission. Unfortunately for him, dancing was the one physical activity in which the blond had everyone beat. Laughter abounded as Luka masterfully manipulated Hyun-Woo into performing some kind of ballroom-fight.

“So Till, what’d you get Hyun-Woo?” Mizi asked conversationally, very unsubtly changing the subject. “We were talking, so I didn’t get to see.”

Till glared at her, still blushing (cute cute cute—) but taking the out. “A painting. He likes charcoals, so I made a forest scene with that plus acrylics.”

Sua nodded approvingly. “That’s pretty cool.”

“Yeah, that’s why I made it.” Till’s lips tugged up. “It took forever, ‘cause I basically had to reinvent—“

“TILL, MY MAN!!!” Dewey swept in to lift Till into the air, chair and all. “Killer presents, dude!!! You’re making me something cool for my birthday too, right?”

“PUT ME DOWN, YOU FREAK!!!”

Dewey laughed. “No can do, squirt! We need someone to surf the crowd and you’re it!”

“WHAT?!” Till screeched. “WAIT—DON’T YOU DARE—!!!”

Too late.

Dewey heaved and Till got launched into the air, landing safely in the nest of arms waiting to catch him.

“WHOO, GET IT!!!” Dewey cheered. He clapped Ivan on the shoulder. “Confess later, champ. It’s a party!!!” With a final pat, he left to rejoin the screaming audience.

They watched in muted shock as Till was indeed forced to surf the crowd, the muscular rebels uncaring of how he kicked and clawed. On stage, Luka didn’t miss a beat, impossibly steady as he drunkenly waltzed with Hyun-Woo. Hyuna was also on stage now, mic in hand as she sang the high harmony.

“…I’m going back to my room.” Sua stood, looking more than done with the situation. “Mizi?”

Mizi bit her lip, glancing back toward the stage. “I’ll join you in a bit, okay?”

“I’ll stay with you,” Ivan volunteered. As long as Till was here, he was in no hurry to leave.

Sua rolled her eyes at him. “I’m sure. See you later, Mizi.” With a parting kiss on her cheek, she strolled out of the room.

Thus, Ivan and Mizi continued watching. However, it was only a few minutes before he noticed the way she kept peeking at the door.

“Go ahead, Mizi,” Ivan encouraged. “I’m sure no one will mind.”

“You think so?” Mizi bit her lip, though she was already standing up. “Good night, Ivan. Tell the twins happy birthday for me.”

“You’ve already told them eight times,” Ivan laughed, “but sure. Good night.”

He waved at her as she left, then turned back toward the stage. Or more specifically, the crowd around it.

It seemed that Till had accepted his fate. His arms were crossed, but he looked happy and flushed as he was carried from place to place. The performing trio had finally noticed him, Hyuna high-fiving him every time he got close.

Ivan smiled, basking in the joviality of the room. Seven years ago, he never could've imagined such a sight. Strange, where life took you.

Watching Till, he couldn’t wait to see what came next.

Chapter Text

“Mizi, look at the bigger picture.” Jacob spread his hands. “CrispRecords mainly houses DNA samples. Meaning, stealing the highest quality ones, along with smashing their equipment, will deal the biggest blow. Not to mention, it’ll add to our collection for the Golden Rocket.”

”I am looking at the bigger picture!” Mizi argued. “They house humans! Saving them should be our top priority!”

Jacob sighed. “All they have are the Creations in their neonatal care unit. I know it’s sad, but we have to think about the logistics here. Not only are they in a completely different part of the facility, but we don’t have the manpower to take on that many infants. Getting adopted nets them a higher survival rate than trying to rough it out here.”

Today was their weekly strategy meeting with Jacob, Isaac, Dewey, 7NAKT, and whoever else wanted to join. After planning their routine supply raids, they were now discussing the upcoming mission. Such talks always resulted in clashes, usually between Jacob and Isaac, but this time it was Mizi who refused to back down.

“You can’t seriously believe that,” Mizi snapped. “You’ve never had an Owner, so you have no idea how they treat their pets. We die by ‘accident’ all the time!”

“That’s not fair,” Jacob said patiently. “You can’t use that excuse every time you disagree with me.”

“It’s not an—!” Mizi cut herself off, making a frustrated sound. “Ivan, you grew up in the slums. Which one of us is right?!”

Ivan carefully maintained his neutral expression. “…it’s a nuanced issue. One that heavily depends on the type of Owner you get.”

Was it a cop out? Yes. Was it true? …well, to some extent.

“Ha!” Sua scoffed. “All Owners are terrible. Period.”

Ivan side-eyed her. She’d been a lot more cynical ever since Mizi opened up about Shine’s treatment of her. “Even so, we’re talking about survival rates. The fact is, there’s no way to know which option will lead to the least death.”

Hyun-Woo drummed his fingers against the table. “He has a point.”

“I agree with Jacob,” Hyuna said quietly. “It fucking sucks, but we have more to gain retrieving samples and smashing equipment than taking on an unspecified number of babies. If we aren’t completely sure we can take care of them, then trying could cause undue suffering. And not just for the infants.”

Isaac rubbed his temples. “No kidding. I’m so sick of changing dirty diapers. We did the whole ‘saving kids’ thing a decade ago and it was a complete mess.”

A fist banged against the table.

“You’re all fucking cowards,” Till hissed. “Mizi’s right: saving humans is our top priority. What the hell is even the point of all this if we’re not constantly trying to save as many lives as we can?!” He glared at Jacob. “You’re acting like there’s gonna be a hundred babies. Since CrispRecords only produces high quality humans, I doubt they’ll have more than ten.”

Ivan was stunned to find he agreed. “True. These companies enhance profit by maintaining an artificially low supply, plus neonatal care is only for the first month after birth.”

Mizi looked ready to cry. “Thank you!!!” She turned to Jacob. “If that’s the case, I’m sure we can pull off both plans! Then everyone wins!”

Jacob was silent for a moment, giving Mizi and Till considering looks. “…you’re sure about this? I’ll be putting the Creations under your care. You’ll be in charge of them for the next twelve years, at least. That’s a long time.”

Mizi paled but Till just snapped, “Obviously. How are we dividing the teams?”

There was a lot of back and forth, but ultimately they reached a compromise. Jacob would take Hyuna and most of the adults. Mizi and Till would take Hyun-Woo, Ivan, Isaac, and Dewey. Isaac protested until the very end, but his wealth of childcare experience made the choice inevitable.

“Everything settled?” Jacob clasped his hands together. “Medical team, brush up on your natal care. Especially you, Ivan. Luka—“ he glanced at the blond, who’d been staring blankly at the ceiling for the past hour “—Sua, make a list of the supplies we‘ll need. I’ll add it to our weekly supply raid.”

“On it.”

“Good. Meeting adjourned.”

Alarms blared, red emergency lights flashing at quick intervals. Ivan glanced at Hyun-Woo, holding up his right hand. Hyun-Woo nodded back. Slowly, he leaned just enough to see into the next corridor. The next second, he was gunning it.

Ivan tapped Till on the shoulder before sprinting himself. He didn’t wait to see Till tap Mizi, who tapped Isaac, who tapped Dewey. On missions, gestures and touches were the rebels’ only form of communication. It was safer that way.

The group veered right, coming face-to-face with the neonatal care unit. Hyun-Woo was already working on the door, Hyuna’s universal key in hand. Admittedly, the gadget decoded the locking mechanism faster than Ivan could, which Hyun-Woo let him know with a quick grin.

Together, they pushed open the doors, holding it open while directing Isaac and Dewey inside first. The rest followed after, Ivan and Hyun-Woo manning the back as they finally stepped inside and—

Mizi inhaled sharply. Slowly, she approached the nearest isolette, pressing her hand against the glass. There were five of them, each one filled with a plethora of wires, tubes, electrodes, and, yes, a Creation. All of them were asleep, which Ivan attributed to some cocktail of drugs.

He glanced at Hyun-Woo, who was making hand signals at Isaac and Dewey. After a few seconds of intense gesticulation, Isaac drooped while Dewey grinned. Hyun-Woo grinned back and returned to the entrance.

When Isaac and Dewey headed toward their own isolettes, Ivan got the message. He grabbed Till’s arm, leading them toward the remaining isolettes before releasing him to finish their respective journeys.

The Creation he’d chosen looked less like a human baby and more like a red Zfettr-9 alien with a shocking amount of pink hair. The sight of it tickled something in Ivan, but he didn’t have time to examine it.

He opened the isolette, taking out the Creation and holding it belly-first over his arm the way he’d read about. It was both heavier and lighter than he‘d expected, so fragile-feeling he had the absurd thought that a gust of wind could cause it to break. Keeping his other hand on his gun, he turned around.

Isaac and Dewey had taken similar positions to him, one arm hosting the Creation while the other boasted a gun. It was the most efficient position they’d found to keep an arm free. Meanwhile, Mizi and Till had taken a different route.

Mizi held the Creation over her shoulder with both hands, though Ivan could see that she kept one loose enough to be free in a pinch. Makes sense, as she still had trouble aiming one-handed.

Till, who’d only recently learned how to use a gun, opted out of accommodating it entirely. Instead, he had his Creation in a cradle hold, tilting its head up in a way that seemed entirely instinctive. Watching him made Ivan feel a little dizzy.

But they didn’t have time for that. Isaac flicked his head at the group and they filed out, Hyun-Woo holding the door open before weaving his way to the front.

Manning the back, Ivan let out a breath.

Now for the hard part.

Taking care of the infants was…an adjustment.

Because nurturing little humans was hard, yes, but also because their eye and hair colors were oddly familiar. When they cross-referenced the base DNA of each one, the results were as unnerving as they were unsurprising.

“I know I should find it weird that they mixed you guys’ DNA into new Creations,” Hyun-Woo said, cradling the Hyuna-Till baby to his chest, “but it’s even weirder that they skipped me. Should I be offended?”

“Stop being stupid and feed her already.” Till waved a bottle in his face. “Who cares how they’re made? They’re here, that’s what matters.”

Ivan gazed at him lovingly. Unexpectedly, Till turned out to be a natural at this. He rivaled Isaac in his ability to babysit: changing, swaddling, feeding, and putting the infants to sleep in record time. These days, it was hard to find him outside the hastily crafted nursery or without at least one baby strapped to his chest. Currently, his most frequent parasite was not Ivan, but the Ivan-Mizi baby that Hyuna joked acted just like him. Seeing how much time the Creation spent staring at Till, Ivan found it hard to disagree.

Till caught his eye. “You wanna try holding one?”

”No, thank you,” Ivan rejected swiftly. He winced. “They always end up crying.”

“This one won’t.” Till hefted the Ivan-Mizi baby, unceremoniously dumping it into Ivan’s arms. “C’mon, pull your weight.”

Ivan stared at the baby.

It stared back.

“Wow. You’re a natural,” Sua deadpanned. She disinterestedly waved a cloth doll (that Till made) in front of an equally disinterested Sua-Luka baby. “Congrats on Providerhood.”

Despite Sua being the most aggrieved over the parentage of the Creations, she was the most attentive when it came to their health. Childrearing was definitely not her forte, but Ivan would bet she knew the bloodwork of every Creation by heart.

“Aw, Ivan, Till! You guys look so cute!!” Mizi’s eyes sparkled as she swayed in place, the Luka-Sua-Hyuna baby swaddled in her arms. “Like real Providers!”

Till turned bright red. His mouth opened and closed, obviously primed to yell but unwilling to be too loud.

Ivan looked at him, then at the infant he held. A small smile graced his face. “You think so?”

Till made a noise like a dying fish.

“Huh.” Sua narrowed her eyes. “Interesting.”

She looked like she wanted to say more, but then the Till-Mizi baby started crying. Immediately, Till straightened up, his complexion going back to normal as he stalked across the room. He picked her up from her cradle, quieting her almost instantly.

Ivan watched him, an ache forming in his chest. While he didn’t like sharing Till’s attention, it only took one look to be okay with it. Softness seemed to permeate Till’s entire being, smoothing his brow and gentling his voice. If Ivan closed his eyes, he could almost imagine it was him that Till was soothing with sweet nothings and hushed praise.

His reverie was broken when Hyun-Woo confessed something out of the blue. “I think I like both girls and guys.”

Mizi opened her mouth and a large breath of air gusted out, like she wanted to scream but held herself back at the last second. “Cool!! Does Hyuna know?”

“Her and Luka.” Hyun-Woo stared determinedly at the Hyuna-Till baby. “It just felt right to tell you all too, ‘cause…” He lowered his voice. “I kinda…met someone.”

Mizi breath-screamed louder.

“Huh. And here I thought you’d third-wheel forever,” Sua mused. “Is it one of the new recruits? I hope not; they’re all useless.”

“He’s not useless!” Hyun-Woo snapped, then clammed up when he realized his mistake.

“He?!’” Mizi squealed, apparently having finally worked out an appropriate volume. “Oh, Hyun-Woo! Congrats!!”

“Wait a second.” Till blinked at Hyun-Woo, confused. “Doesn’t that mean you just like guys?”

Hyun-Woo blushed. “No, I…agh. I’ve kinda been crushing on Kat for a while.”

More Mizi breath-screams.

“Kat?” Ivan was surprised. “Isn’t she a little old for you?”

“Why do you think I never said anything?!” Hyun-Woo ducked his head. “Forget it. That’s in the past now.”

Till, however, didn’t seem to want to let go. “So…you had a crush on a girl, and now you have one on a guy?” He spoke slowly, like he found it hard to understand. “You can do that?”

Ivan’s chest panged. He knew Till didn’t like guys, of course, but was the concept that unbelievable? This was like Mizi‘s birthday all over again, except instead of explaining homosexuality to Till, it was this.

(Duo-sexuality? Bisexuality? They should consult their genetics textbooks to find a name for this one, too…)

“Apparently?” Hyun-Woo shrugged. “I did it.”

Till’s eyes widened. “Huh.”

Slowly, Sua’s eyebrows lifted to her hairline.

“Wow!” Mizi practically vibrated in place, which the Luka-Sua-Hyuna baby was happy about if his little gurgles were anything to go by. “Wow, wow, wow!!! When can we meet him?!”

“I have to ask him out first!” Hyun-Woo’s blush resurfaced. “Don’t freak out. I just told you guys because we’re—“ he cleared his throat. “You know. Family.”

Mizi’s smile was blinding. “Yeah. We know.”

“He’s staring at you again,” Luka said mildly.

Ivan froze, fighting down a blush. “…is he?”

“Yeah. It’s really cute.” Luka didn't flinch when Ivan stuck the needle in his arm a little too hard. “That’s a compliment, you know. I’m saying I can see why you like him. He’s very…” he made a grasping motion with his hand “…blushy. Fun to tease.”

Ivan slowly pushed the plunger down even though he kind of wanted to make it painful by injecting it all at once. He was nice like that. “Mhmm.”

”He’s been hanging around you a lot more,” Luka continued, looking utterly disinterested in the conversation despite being the one to initiate it. “If I noticed, that means it’s obvious.”

Ivan wasn’t so sure. Luka was more observant than he gave himself credit for. Now, if Hyuna noticed… “You’re finished. Want a bandaid?”

“Nah.” Luka pushed off the bed, wobbling a little as he adjusted his balance. “I’ll be back tomorrow, so there’s no need.”

Ivan didn’t say anything as he packed up his equipment, getting the bandaid anyway. It was a fact of life that Luka was all but a permanent resident of the clinic, but that didn’t make it any less sad. “Sua will take care of you then.”

“Aw, so no volunteer Till?” Luka smirked. “You should give him a little outfit. You seem like the type to be into that.”

Ivan threw the bandaid in his face. So much for feeling bad for him. “You’re discharged. Have a nice day.”

“What are you two smiling about?” Till walked up to them, scowling. He set down a bottle of disinfectant, apparently having finished cleaning. “Stop it. It’s creepy.”

Luka put a hand in Till’s hair. Not to ruffle it or anything, just leaving it there.

“…what the fuck?” Till squinted at him. “Are you high? Ivan, what did you give him?”

Luka snorted. “You’re so feisty. You should compliment me, instead; that’s what Hyuna would do.”

“For fucking what?” Till snarled, shoving him off. “God, you’re even weirder than Ivan.”

For some reason, Ivan felt offended by that.

“You keep coming here,” Luka said, abruptly changing the subject. “Why?”

Till’s cheeks colored. “None of your business!”

He snatched the disinfectant and stormed off, presumably to find something else to clean. Luka mouthed ‘cute’ at Ivan, which really, he couldn’t even get mad at him for.

“Get out of here!!!” Till yelled from behind one of the curtained beds.

Luka clicked his tongue. “No respect…” With a lazy wave, he drifted out of the clinic.

Ivan waited a few seconds, then put his medical kit back in the supply cabinet. “He’s gone.”

Till poked his head out, glancing around suspiciously. When he saw that Ivan was telling the truth, he stepped out fully, crossing his arms. “Finally. We can go now, right?”

“Sure,” Ivan agreed. “Lunch?”

Till nodded. “Let’s make it quick, then stop by the nursery.”

They headed for the food supply, chatting amicably. Halfway there, Till linked their arms together. It took everything in Ivan not to flinch, his heart leaping to his throat.

Despite several days of this, he still found it surreal. While they hung out frequently, he was always the one to initiate. Now, it was like Till had decided to attach them at the hip. The effect was even greater after being ignored all last week in favor of the Creations.

After retrieving today’s meal (some brick-looking nutritional supplement atop a bed of multicolored rice), they made their way to the main room. To Ivan’s surprise, Till held his tray with one hand so they could link arms again.

Flustered, he stared at the point of contact. It was all he could do to bite his own lip to keep from shouting in happiness and scaring off Till.

“So, I asked Vicky to pierce my helix and you know what she told me?” Till said casually, like he wasn’t actively creating new constellations in Ivan’s brain. “’Cartilage doesn’t heal back all way, so take a couple more years to think about if that’s what you really want.’” He scoffed. “Like I don’t know that. Like she hasn’t been my fashion idol since we met.”

“Uh huh,” Ivan agreed, not processing a word. “You’re so right, Till.”

Experimentally, he slid his arm down until they were holding hands. Till flushed, but otherwise didn’t react.

Ivan was in heaven.

“Y-yeah, thanks.” Till glanced at him then away, flushing harder. “You sick or something? Your face is all red.”

Ivan grinned, deliriously happy. “I could say the same about you. You look like a Peshko-Rilli fruit.”

“I’m not that hairy!” Till snapped, whipping around to glare at him. “And you look like the meat of a Wageffer!”

Ivan grinned wider. “Aw, thanks! Does that mean you think I look delicious?”

“You—!”

They were interrupted by a large commotion. The main room was flooded with recruits, most crowding around a single table. The reason why soon became obvious.

“Is he yours?” a curious woman asked, craning her neck to see the Hyuna-Luka-Sua baby Isaac held. “Where’s the other Provider?”

Isaac scowled. “He’s not—“

“Here I am!” Dewey interrupted, throwing his arm around Isaac's shoulder and squeezing. “Aren’t we cute?”

Isaac’s glare could’ve melted steel. “Dewey…”

“Huh?” a young-ish man frowned in bewilderment. “Aren’t you both guys?”

Dewey put a hand on his chest. Unfortunately, he failed to look innocent due to his shit-eating grin. “That’s the power of love for you! Isn’t that right, darling?” He batted his eyelashes. “You should’ve seen him when I was pregnant. Fussed over me every day.”

“I hate you so much,” Isaac deadpanned.

Suddenly, the baby started wailing.

The sound seemed to jumpstart Till into action. He dropped Ivan’s hand, stomping over to disperse the crowd. “Move! Can’t you see you’re upsetting him?!”

They scattered, Till plopping next to Isaac with a huff. Ivan quietly sat down at his other side, biting his lip to keep from laughing. God, it felt like nothing could bring down his mood.

“Thanks.” Isaac nodded at Till, then scowled at Dewey. However, the way he was actively rocking a baby somewhat mitigated the effect. “You. Stop messing with the recruits. They’re not used to your freaky sense of humor and I’m sick of being ‘congratulated’ every day.”

“Aw, but baby!” Dewey pouted. “I just love you so much! Can’t you indulge my fantasies?”

“No.”

“Honey!!”

“Death would be kinder,” Isaac muttered. “At least stop telling people you were pregnant. That’s literally all I ask.”

Dewey sighed. “Fine. You can be pregnant, instead.”

“Dewey!”

“You’re so serious,” Dewey laughed. “Lighten up! They’ll figure out I’m joking eventually.” He winked at Till. “Right, kid? You can always tell.”

Till’s face spasmed. “…right.”

“I dunno,” Ivan teased, digging into his meal. “You only ever make those jokes with Isaac. There’s a running bet going on when you two will get together.”

Isaac shot him an aggrieved look. “You’re killing me, man.”

“Oh, I know,” Dewey said shamelessly. “I’ve put money on it. Enjoy your last three years of bachelorhood, sweetheart!” He made kissy faces at Isaac.

“If you don’t quit it, I swear I’ll actually kiss you,” Isaac warned. “What’ll you do then, huh? Big guy?”

Dewey hummed. “Moan?”

Isaac shoved the baby into his lap. “You know what? No. I’m taking a nap and no one can stop me.”

“Babe!” Dewey called, struggling between juggling the baby and getting up to follow Isaac. “Don’t be like that! At least let me join you!”

“Shut the hell up!!!”

“Gasp! Language!”

“Don’t say ‘gasp,’ you muscle-brained—“

Ivan and Till watched the squabbling not-couple as they left, the former much more amused than the latter.

Till scowled, stabbing his brick. “…do you think they’ll actually end up together?”

“What, those two?” Ivan laughed. “Nah. They read as forever friends to me.”

Till was quiet for a moment. “Are we forever friends?”

Ivan almost choked on his rice. He quickly swallowed his mouthful, staring wide-eyed at Till. “I—we’re whatever you want to be, Till.”

“…right.” Till’s voice was flat as he mechanically lifted his spoon. He was also blank-faced, no trace of his earlier mirth to be found. “Right. Of course.”

Ivan stared at him, his grin fading. Something felt off, but he wasn’t sure what. Much less how to fix it. “You know I love you. Right, Till?”

Till startled, a smile pulling at his lips before something tugged it back down. “…I know. I love you, too.”

For some reason, the words felt heavier than normal.

They continued eating in silence. After lunch, Till excused himself by saying that Ivan didn’t have to come with him to the nursery. Ivan was about to follow him anyway when a commotion happened, one of the recruits falling off a table. By the time he finished treating them and headed over, Till was nowhere to be found. Jacob, who was overseeing feeding time, told him he hadn’t come by at all.

Feeling unsettled, Ivan decided to give Till some space. Maybe he was just tired. They’d been spending a lot of time together lately, so it made sense that he needed a break.

After that, they didn’t see each other for a week.

Chapter Text

“No, you dolt,” Sua argued. “We can’t skip PetHealth because the kids need their formula and Luka needs his heart medication. We can skip the bounty on Udgark.”

“If we do that, money will be tight.” Ivan tapped this month’s ledger. “Since we’re making prosthetics now, there’s certain components we can’t steal. Hyun-Woo’s metalwork is good, but without a proper studio—“

“Don’t you think I know that?!” Sua snapped. “I ran the numbers. We can make it work as long as no one else joins up.”

Ivan frowned. “But that would go against everything Mizi and Till have fought for these past two years. People are coming every day now; we can’t just turn them away.”

“I know. But it’s only for a week until—“

“IIIIVVVAAAAANNN!!!”

Ivan barely had time to react before he was body-slammed out of his seat. Dazed, he offered no resistance as Hyuna lifted him by the collar and shook him around. “Since when do you like Till?!?!”

“Since…nine to eleven years ago?” Ivan mumbled. He blinked. “Did Luka tell you?”

“No, Isaac,” Hyuna said miserably. “Nine to eleven years? Why aren’t you two together yet?!”

Sua groaned, thunking her head on the table. “Ugh. Do you know how hard it is to have a conversation with this guy not about Till? It was important!”

Hyuna glanced at the paperwork they’d been poring over. “Hyun-Woo and I can solo the Udgark bounty. There, problem solved.”

“Solo a guy with a helicopter?” Sua hissed. “Hyuna, that’s—”

“Ivan, go confess!!” Hyuna ignored her, setting Ivan down. She smoothed out the wrinkles in his hoodie, dusting off his jacket for good measure. “Oh man, where’s my camera?! He likes you too, I just know it—!“

“No, he doesn’t,” Ivan interrupted. Gently, he pried Hyuna off him, making sure to smile. “I appreciate the support, but—“

“Wait here, I’ll go get him!” Hyuna, who apparently decided she wasn’t listening to anyone today, zoomed off.

…

“…okay,” Sua said. “Well, while she’s gone—“

She was cut off by an unholy screech.

Seconds later, Hyuna was back, Till thrown over her shoulder in a fireman’s carry.

“Hyuna, quit it!! I was in the zone!” Till shouted, flailing and kicking up a fuss. “I need to write the harmony down before I forget! Hyuna, I’m serious!”

Bemused, Ivan watched as Hyuna set Till down in front of him, trapping him in place with a firm grip. With her other hand, she fished her beloved camera out of her pocket, setting it to record. How she’d managed to both find it and grab Till so fast, he didn’t know.

“Okay, go!” Hyuna cheered, releasing Till and backing up a few steps so they were both in the shot.

Miraculously, Till didn’t bolt. Ivan supposed that had something to do with how confused he looked.

Alright, whatever. I guess it’s worth a shot.

Dialing up the charm, Ivan put on his best smile. “Hey, Till. I really like you. Can we date?”

After years of this, he had his confessions down to a science. Clear, direct, and with absolutely no room for misinterpretation. Or so you’d think.

Till jolted, his ears turning red as he gawked at him. Then he glanced at the camera, his brow furrowing. “…what the fuck? Are you recording this??” His expression turned stormy, using both hands to give Ivan and Hyuna the middle finger. “I don’t have time for your dumb pranks! If you don’t have anything important to say, then leave me alone!!!”

In the background, Sua slapped a hand over her face.

Till kept his fingers up as he marched backwards toward the entrance, scowling like he was just daring them to intervene. People who had stopped to stare scattered when he drew near. With a final scathing glare, he left.

Ivan watched him go, pretending his heart wasn’t hurting after being stomped on for the nth time. “See? Told you.”

“That’s because you dragged him out of nowhere, trained a camera on him, then confessed with the fakest smile known to man,” Sua deadpanned. “No wonder he flipped you off. I would’ve thought it was a prank, too.”

Hyuna pouted, lowering her camera. “Wait, so this is my fault? But I was so excited…”

“It’s fine,” Ivan reassured her. He forced out a laugh. “At this point, I don’t think he’ll ever take me seriously.”

Hyuna frowned. “No…no. It’s probably just puberty or something! You can’t give up!!” She put her camera down, throwing an arm around his neck. “Hyun-Woo was the same way at his age! All mad and pissy for, like, a year. Remember when he punched Luka?”

Ivan did. Quite fondly, too. “That’s different. Hyun-Woo was defending your honor. Till is just…annoyed.”

“So am I.” Sua waved their forgotten paperwork. “Hyuna, if you’re sticking around, then help us pick out some good bounties for this week. I need something concrete for tonight’s meeting.”

They began talking battle plans, Ivan’s mind wandering as he pondered his most recent rejection. He tried not to think about it too much, but wow, he’d really been at it for a while.

It didn’t help that the older he got, the more twisted his feelings became. Not that he’d ever been normal about Till, but the maelstrom of emotions that hit him every time they so much as locked eyes threatened to drown him with their intensity. But no matter how shameless he acted or desperate he felt, his efforts never bore fruit.

Ivan wished that Sua was right and simply changing settings would work. But no matter where he confessed or how, it always ended the same:

In private—

Ivan attached himself to Till’s back while he tuned his freshly stolen guitar. Nuzzling his hair, he said, “Mmm, I love this. Till, can we be together forever?”

“Sure,” Till muttered before stiffening. Red crept up the back of his neck. “Wait…together how?”

“However you’ll let me,” Ivan purred. This was how flirting worked, right? “I’d live inside you if I could.”

”…right.” Till untensed, leaning back into Ivan’s hold. He went back to tuning, his tone flat. “Right. Of course, that’s what you meant. Creep.”

The insult stung, Ivan shivering at the blow. But it was fine. Even though he got rejected, it was all fine as long as Till didn’t push him away.

They were silent for a while, Till growing more and more subdued. Even though they were right next to each other, it felt like they were a million miles apart.

Ivan hated it.

Vindictive, he suddenly twisted a peg, causing a guitar string to snap. It lashed against both their palms, leaving matching red welts.

“OW!!!” Till shook off his injured hand, his good one reaching back to grab a fistful of Ivan’s hair. “Ivan, what the fuck?!”

Ivan laughed at the pain, Till’s attention making it feel like a reward. ”Cheer up, Till!”

“Cheer up?! You just ruined my guitar, you—!!!” Till headlocked him, the rest of his words lost as they wrestled. Ivan was kicked to the floor, Till yelling at him to leave or else.

At least he managed to snag Till’s pillow on the way out.

In public—

Ivan knelt on the floor, enamored beyond belief. “I love you, Till. Be with me?”

“…Ivan, what the fuck.” Till dragged a hand down his face. He looked exhausted. “I just woke up. It’s too early for this shit.”

Ivan tilted his head. It was already nine, though? “Is that a yes?”

“It’s a ‘get the fuck out of my way so I can eat breakfast.’” Till gestured to all the people walking around them, unperturbed by the incredibly common sight. “You’re blocking the entrance.”

Indeed, Ivan had fallen to his knees the second he saw Till. That being, when he was exiting the main room at the same time Till entered. He couldn’t help it: Till just looked so cute with his squinty eyes and raging bedhead. He wanted to lick the pillow creases off his cheeks.

Somewhere behind them, Dewey laughed. “Get it, Ivan! Seduce your man!”

Till flinched, looking pained. “Ivan. Seriously. You have two seconds to get up before I kick you in the face.”

“Would you?” Ivan felt excited by the prospect of Till’s bare feet touching his skin. He hoped they left a bruise each.

Dewey laughed harder, almost choking. “Yo, that’s some freak shit! Anyone got a camera? Hyuna, where you at?!”

A violent blush colored Till’s face.

“Ivan, get the hell up!” he snapped. “Or I’ll—I’ll—I won’t talk to you for a week!!!”

Ivan stood immediately. Rejection he could take, but that was too cruel. “Sorry, Till. Can I at least watch you eat?”

“Fuck off already!!!” Till stomped past him, flipping him off as he went. “Whatever this is, I’m not falling for it!!!”

“I’m falling for you!” Ivan tried, a last ditch attempt.

Till raised his middle finger in the air, speedwalking toward the furthermost table in the room.

With flowers—

“Do you really think this will work?” Ivan eyed the bouquet dubiously.

“Totally!!” Mizi assured, a determined look on her face. “Flowers are super romantic! Till’s always drawing them, too!” She fussed over Ivan’s appearance, tidying his hair and smoothing the creases in his shirt. “Remember to act like a proper gentleman! Smile, compliment him, and knock. He’ll fall for you for sure!!”

Ivan nodded, gratefulness welling up in his chest. “Alright. Thank you, Mizi.”

“You’re welcome!” She patted his shoulder. “Good luck!”

They hugged, then Ivan departed for Till’s room. Automatically, he reached for the knob before pausing. He knocked instead, heart in hand.

There was some shuffling, then Till opened the door. His eyebrows raised when he saw who it was. “Ivan? Since when do you—?”

“Hello, Till,” Ivan interrupted, inexplicably feeling nervous. “I like you. Want to go out?” Belatedly, he remembered he was supposed to compliment him. “You look really nice today.” He presented the flowers.

Till blinked at them, nonplussed. “…thanks? Where’d you get these?” His cheeks colored, his eyes darting up. “Wait, did you just—?”

He cut off, looking over Ivan’s shoulder. Confused, Ivan looked too.

Just before it disappeared behind the corner, he caught a glimpse of pink hair. Unsurprisingly, it seemed that Mizi had come to watch. His chest warmed at the show of support.

Ivan grinned, turning back to Till. “So, can I take you on a date?”

Till’s gaze snapped to his, now wary. A frown tugged at his lips. “What’s happening? Is this another prank?”

“…another? I’ve never joked about this.” Ivan kept his smile up, Mizi’s advice echoing in his head. Desperately, he cast about for another compliment. “Did I mention you look nice? Your hair is messy and your eyebags are darker than usual. It’s really cute.”

Till’s expression soured.

Then he slammed the door in his face.

With food—

Till took a bite of the dish, his eyes widening. “Woah, that’s much better than last time. What’d you add?”

“Love!” Ivan winked. “It’s my special ingredient!”

Till scoffed. “Cheesy.”

Ivan propped his elbow on the table, resting his chin on his hand. Spending the last few weeks learning how to cook was so worth it. Till was always making stuff for others, so this time he wanted to make something for him.

“…why’re you looking at me like that? I said it was good.” Till blushed, turning away. “Do you want more compliments or something? Greedy.”

“I’ll take anything you give me.” Ivan leaned closer, a soft smile warming his face. “If you want, I’ll cook for you every day.”

Till smiled back, shyly meeting his gaze. And if Ivan wasn’t mistaken, he leaned closer too. “That’s excessive. Also, a waste of resources.”

“I’ll just skip lunch to make up for it.” Ivan was dead serious. He’d spent the first half of his life hungry; he didn’t mind going back.

Till flinched, pulling away with a frown. “What the fuck? Don’t joke about that.” His brow furrowed. “Why would you even offer??”

“…because I love you?” Ivan didn’t understand. Why was Till upset? ”I’m not joking. I’d do anything to make you happy.”

Till stared at him. “…even starve yourself?”

“Of course.” Why was that even a question?

Till paled, his pupils shaking. “How long have you felt this way?”

“Since…always?” Ivan gave him a curious look. “Have I not made that clear?”

“I—have you???” Till sounded dazed. “Oh my god. Oh my god?” He stood abruptly, his chair scraping against the floor as he staggered back. “Ivan, don’t—don’t do that. Not for anyone, but especially not for me. Understand?”

“Till?” Ivan reached for him. “Are you—?”

Till slapped his hand away, looking wild-eyed. “Ivan, listen to me. Even if we’re family, that’s too much. Never hurt yourself in the name of helping me. I’m not using you like that.”

“But…I want you to use me,” Ivan tried. Seriously, what was he doing wrong? “After all, I lo—“

Till smacked a hand over Ivan’s mouth. He looked terrified. “Don’t. Please.”

Ivan stared at him. Slowly, he raised his hand to cover Till’s own.

As soon as their fingers brushed, Till recoiled, almost tripping in his haste to get away. “I-I’m sorry. I need to think.”

Ivan watched him go, his heart sinking in his chest.

Once, he’d even composed a whole song and sang it to Till in his room.

Till stared at him. “…what the fuck. Ivan, are you okay???”

“Yeah?” Ivan fidgeted. That…probably wasn’t a good reaction. “I thought you’d understand my feelings better if I expressed it to you like this.”

“…please tell me this is another one of your pranks.” Suddenly, Till got up and opened the door. He relaxed as four people fell over each other onto the ground. “Hey, guys. Enjoying the show?”

“H-heeeey, Till.” Hyun-Woo propped his head up, attempting to look casual. “What’re you doing here?”

“This is my room,” Till deadpanned.

“…right.”

At the bottom of the dogpile, Dewey grinned. “Ivan, my man! Your voice is awesome!! Though, your lyrics have a shit ton of metaphors. Are you sure Till understood you were confessing? Again?”

Till looked unamused. “So, this is your fault.”

“Actually, it’s mine,” Mizi admitted, letting out an awkward laugh. “My bad. I guess Sua was right…”

Till’s eye twitched. He turned to Luka. “And you? Not gonna say anything?”

Luka just blinked at him, long and slow.

Till sighed, tipping his head back. “Right. Everyone out.”

They scrambled up, hightailing it out of the room. Hyun-woo ended up having to double back for Luka when he didn't leave with everyone else.

Soon, it was just Ivan and Till again.

“…you know, being your best friend is exhausting,” Till told him. He was still looking up. “Half the time you’re messing with me, the other half you’re unironically spouting some really disturbing shit. It’s like everything you say is specifically crafted to cause me psychic damage.”

Ivan blinked. “I’m…sorry?” In his defense, he didn’t know the others were there.

“Whatever,” Till muttered. “If you have to rile me up, then I'd rather you prank-confess than pick a fight.” Finally, he glanced at him. “Is seeing me get flustered really that fun?”

Ivan stared back, wanting so bad to say the right answer. “I like all your reactions. Because I’m in love with you.”

“…right.” Till’s mouth twisted, a mockery of a smile. “You know, you’re getting really good at seeming sincere.”

“I am sincere,” Ivan insisted, desperate. He grinned, an automatic reaction. “I’ve always been in love with you, Till.”

Till laughed. It sounded painful. “Right, that. Just like that. You have no idea how I feel, do you? If you did, I wonder if you’d feel bad for—“ his mouth snapped shut. He looked panicked. “Nevermind. That wasn’t—nevermind. Don’t read into that.”

Ivan tilted his head. He was so confused.

Till watched him warily, then sighed. “Right. This is how you are. Why do I even…” he dissolved into mutters, words falling like bitter liquid from his lips.

After a while, he looked up. “What’re you still doing here? Can’t you tell I’m not in the mood?”

Quietly, Ivan packed his things. He dithered at the door, not wanting to leave quite like this.

“I love you, Till,” he whispered. The sudden silence as Till’s dark mumbles ceased was unbearable. “More than anything in the world.”

“…I know.” Till’s back was to him, bowed by an unseen burden. “That’s why it hurts so much to hear you say it.”

So, yeah. Honestly, the only constant factor to Ivan’s confessions was the fact that he was confessing. Really, he had no idea what he was doing wrong.

Is there no scenario where Till takes me seriously? Ivan thought, abruptly dizzy. Was I doomed from the start? Am I so unlovable that he can’t even fathom that my feelings might be real??

No, no. Those were the bad thoughts. He wasn’t unlovable: his friends told him they loved him every day.

Ivan buried his face in his hands. God, and Till looks so cute today, too…

Black slacks, white button-down, and a striped tie to boot. It was rare to see him dressed so formally, especially since he preferred making his own clothes. The splash of paint at the tip of his nose really sold the whole look. Not to mention his helix piercings, now rings instead of studs after his healing period finished last month.

“Hello? Ivan??” Sua snapped her fingers in his face. “Rein it in, gay boy. You can brood later.”

Ivan choked out a surprised laugh. He looked up, his eyes gleaming. “Aw, really? Well, if you’re saying so…”

“I do not brood,” Sua sniffed. “Now pay attention. If we split our teams up and only take on smaller bounties, the profit adds up to…”

Of all places, Ivan ran into Hyun-Woo and his boyfriend in the nursery.

“Oh, hey Ivan!” Hyun-Woo greeted. He was spoon-feeding Millie and Suka (uncreative names for the Mizi-Till and Sua-Luka Creations, he knows) in turns, unperturbed by how most of it spilled onto their bibs.

“Hello, Hyun-Woo. Kai.” Ivan nodded at the pair. “How’re the kids?”

“Messy,” Kai answered, grimacing. He pushed his glasses up his nose, flicking his floppy brown hair out of his face. “Mind handing me that towel? It’s to your right.”

Ivan did. Kai promptly used it to wipe the nutritious mush from the toddlers’ cheeks, tsking when they turned their heads.

“Need help with the others?” Ivan offered. “I’m free for the next few hours.”

Hyun-Woo waved him off. “Nah. These two are the last ones; the rest are already asleep.”

Looking around, Ivan saw that he was right. The toddlers were all bundled up in their individual cribs, which everyone had fun designing a couple years back. Recently, they’d been discussing whether they should build beds or just move the kids into their own rooms once they got big enough.

“You okay, by the way?” Hyun-Woo looked up. “I heard what Sis did. Sorry, man.”

Ivan smiled. “I’m fine. At this point, it’s pretty much a weekly tradition for me to get rejected, haha…”

“Still, it was tactless.” Hyun-Woo grimaced, unintentionally matching Millie’s expression when he stuck another spoonful in her mouth. “Till still thinks it’s a joke, right? That sucks, dude.”

Understatement.

“Sorry if this is rude,” Kai cut in, “but are you sure he isn’t just letting you off easy? I find it hard to believe he doesn’t know.”

Ivan scratched his cheek, forcing out a laugh. “I’m sure. He has the worst poker face.” He grinned crookedly. “Maybe it’s my delivery?”

“…maybe.” Kai looked thoughtful. “Hey, humor me for a second. Pretend I’m Till and confess.”

“WHAT?!” Hyun-Woo smushed the spoon against Suka’s chin instead of her mouth. “I don’t think—“

“Shush.” Kai waved the towel at him. “Calm down, I just wanna see something.”

Ivan blinked. “Are you sure? Because—“

“Yeah, hit me.” Kai’s tone was firm, brooking no room for argument.

And, well. Okay.

Ivan exhaled, putting on his game face. “Hi, Till! I’m in love with you. Want to go out?”

“Fuck no!” Kai’s rejection was swift. Brutal. Surprisingly Till-like. “Now quit bothering me, you freak!!” His expression was an exact replica of Till’s, all furrowed brow and twisted lips.

…

Ivan burst out laughing, a little breathless because wow, that actually kind of hurt? “Woah, Till! Tell me how you really feel!” His laughter faded, his eyes crinkling. “So? What’d you learn?”

Kai was silent for a moment. “…I think it’s your face.”

Ivan blinked. “My…face?” Sua said the same thing.

“Yeah.” Kai nodded decisively. “Even after ’Till’ rejected you, you just laughed it off. That makes it seem like a joke.”

“Are you serious?” Hyun-Woo’s nose scrunched. “But Ivan‘s always like that.”

“I know. That’s why it’s a problem.”

Self-consciously, Ivan put a hand on his cheek. His grin was the same as ever, perfectly crafted as Luka had taught him all those years ago. “Well, what am I supposed to do? Cry?”

“Yes,” Kai deadpanned.

Ivan stared at him, taken aback. “…I can’t exactly do it on command.” He tried and almost pulled a muscle. “It’s either I’m like this or show no emotion at all. And everyone likes this better.”

“Try the ‘no emotion’ thing, then,” Kai suggested. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen it.”

Ivan twitched, the instinctive urge to laugh and change the subject rearing its ugly head. “…alright. If you really think it’ll help.”

…

…

“…so?”

“Sorry, just give me a second.”

Ivan closed his eyes, forcing his smile to drop despite all his instincts screaming red alert. With it, some of his mental walls came down, suppressed anxieties and bitter thoughts rising to the surface.

Oh god, what am I doing? I don’t even know Kai that well. Even though both he and Sua said my face is the problem, she also told me my normal self is creepy. Is it still creepy? Or worse, ugly? I know I don’t look too bad when I smile, but that’s just because of Luka. Oh no, am I ugly?? Does Till think I’m ugly???

He opened his eyes, bracing himself for the worst.

“…huh.” Kai looked genuinely disturbed. “Okay, I can see why you prefer the smile. Fuck me, it’s like looking at a corpse.”

Ivan felt his soul break.

“Kai!” Hyun-Woo swatted his arm, some baby food splattering on his face. “Use better words!!”

Kai grimaced, using the towel to wipe it off. “Sorry, Ivan. It’s just…oh god, go back. You look like you’re gonna kill me. Or yourself. Whichever’s worse.”

“Kai!!!”

Ivan said nothing, old habits extinguishing his voice. While he did occasionally drop his facade, never had he done so in front of someone who didn’t know him before he made it. He didn’t realize how hard it was to put back up.

“You know what? No.” Hyun-Woo pointed at him. “Ivan, confess again. And you—“ he switched over to Kai, his eyes burning “—are gonna be the best Till ever. You started this, so now you're gonna finish it.”

Kai’s face spasmed, working through a wide range of emotion before he sighed. “Yeah, okay, fair. Let’s do this.”

Ivan blinked, a whirlpool of feelings in his chest. They were harder to identify like this: automatically suppressed before he could sift through them and figure out what they meant.

Kai scrubbed a hand through his hair, adopting a familiar tired expression. His shoulders slumped, the slightest furrow to his brow completing the whole look. “Ivan? What do you want? I’m busy.”

Till. Ivan felt his senses awaken even as his hindbrain screeched. Imposter this may be, but it didn’t stop his pupils from expanding, his lips parting without conscious thought.

“Till.” The name cemented the new reality, brown hair and glasses soon replaced by silver and teal. ”I love you. I’m in love with you.” The confession spilled from his lips unfettered, devoid of the usual filters he had in place. “You’re everything to me. My stars. My paradise. May I have you?” Fire leaked from his belly, pouring out through his eyes. “If not, it‘s fine. You can have me, instead.”

…

…

…

“Hooooly shit—nope, nope, nope.” Kai chucked the towel, speed-walking out of the room. “I’m out. I am so out, what the fuck.”

He disappeared behind the doorway. A few seconds later, his head popped back in. “Sorry, Ivan! Don’t worry, I still think you’re cool!” Then he was gone again.

Silence.

Then Millie started crying.

“Oh shit!” Hyun-Woo jumped, fumbling to feed her another spoonful. She promptly spat it in his face. “Sorry about this, Ivan. Just…all of this. It wasn’t even that bad.” He grimaced, wiping himself with his sleeve. “…okay, I lied. It was worse. Fucking hell, your eyes are like voids. I’d forgotten about that.”

Ivan blinked, feeling a little bit like he was underwater. Abruptly, he shook his head, slamming his grin back into place.

“Oh shoot, sorry!” he cackled, his eyes twinkling. Comedic. Calculated. “Was I too scary? That’s hilarious.” He tilted his head. “I should probably apologize to Kai later, huh? Don’t want your boyfriend to think I’m a creep.”

Hyun-Woo stared at him. “…dude.”

Ivan’s facade cracked. He quickly shored it back up, not wanting to make another mistake. “Hahaha! Oh man, you should see your face!” He spun around, heading toward the door. “Sorry, but I’ve gotta go. You said you don’t need any help, right? Right. See ya!”

He left before he could hear Hyun-Woo’s response. Luckily, there was no one in the hallway as he all but ran back to his room.

Once inside, Ivan quickly shut the door and locked it. Then he flopped onto his bed, reaching behind the headboard to retrieve a black T-shirt. Till’s, to be exact.

Burying his face into the fabric, Ivan curled into a ball and didn’t move for a long, long time.

Ivan was working out in the gym when he heard Till’s voice behind him.

“Is that my bestest friend and most definitely secret crush, Ivan??” Till gasped. “Wow, so handsome! So charming! So cool and smart and—“

“Hyuna, I know it’s you,” Ivan interrupted. He set down his weights, turning around with a smile.

Hyuna took one look at him and her face crumpled. “Still don’t forgive me, huh? You usually love my Till impressions…”

“No, that's not—“ Ivan sighed. “I told you not to worry about it. Really, I’m fine.”

“You’re obviously not,” Hyuna argued. “Till told me you haven’t spoken to him since that day! It’s been a week.” Her brow furrowed. “You can be mad at me, but…please talk to him? He seemed pretty upset.”

Ivan’s heart fluttered at the notion of Till missing him. But even that didn’t permeate his haze. “Later. If you hadn’t noticed, I’m kind of in the middle of something.” His eyes crinkled, automatic. “Also, I’m not mad at you. Seriously.”

“Ivan, you’re worrying me.” Hyuna bit her lip. “Just…stop smiling, please? Fine, okay, you’re not upset about the camera thing. Then what are you upset about?”

“Nothing.” Ivan’s stomach twisted at the thought of undoing his facade again. Lately, he‘d hardly slept without a smile on his face. “You’re reading into things.”

Hyuna pursed her lips. “…Hyun-Woo’s been weird, too. Is that related at all?”

“No,” Ivan refuted immediately. He turned away, bending down to pick up his weights. “Everything’s just fine, Hyuna. No need to worry.”

“Ivan, talk to me.” Hyuna sounded desperate. ”Someone I think of as a brother is acting out of sorts and the only reason I can think of is because of something I did.” She faltered. “Ivan…please?”

Ivan’s resolve broke. Somehow, Hyuna always managed to reach past his walls.

Slowly, he put down the weights, forcing himself to sit next to her on the bench press. “…sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Hyuna admonished. “Just—“

She hugged him.

Ivan stiffened. It was almost a minute before he relaxed, the tension draining out of him. He put his arms around her back, slumping against her until she was the only thing holding him up.

They sat like that for a while. People came and went, most backing out of the room when they encountered the emotional moment. Ivan took an odd sort of pleasure in seeing their embarrassed faces.

Finally, Hyuna exhaled. “Whoo! That’s some good therapy.” She leaned back with a smile, keeping her hands on his shoulders. “Alright. So, what’s the problem? Whatever it is, I’ll help you fix it.”

Ivan stared at her. Unbidden, a grin tugged at his lips, more genuine than it’d been all week. “Well, if you insist.”

“I do.” Hyuna winked at him, also grinning. “You can keep that smile, by the way. It’s much better.”

Ivan shook his head in disbelief. “How can you always tell?”

Hyuna patted his arm. “I’m pretty dense, but I can always tell when someone’s upset. Turning frowns upside down is my special skill!”

“I wasn’t frowning, though?” Ivan laughed, surprising himself. He hadn’t been doing much of that, either. “And isn’t your special skill vocal mimicry?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Hyuna said in his voice, teasing. “Now spill.”

Ivan laid his hands on top of hers. Luka would kill him if he saw how close they were, but knowing that just made him happier. “I’m…thinking about my expressions, I guess?” He smiled sardonically. “Remember how Sua said that Till won’t believe me because my smile is too fake? Well, I practiced confessing without it and almost shattered my mirror.” A white lie, but sufficiently true.

Hyuna frowned. “Your natural face is so cute, though?”

Ivan stared at her. “…what.”

“At least I think so,” Hyuna said simply, like she wasn’t breaking his worldview. “It’s why I approached you, remember? Luka’s the same way.”

Ivan ignored the jab. “You don’t think it’s…creepy?”

“No? I mean, maybe a little bit.” Hyuna’s eyes softened. “But that’s why it’s so cute!”

…

Ivan…didn’t know how to respond to that. “Thanks?”

“You’re welcome!” Hyuna squeezed his shoulders. “You were gonna try confessing to Till with your natural face, right? Well, I think you should go for it!”

Ivan blinked. “Really?”

“Yeah!” Hyuna nodded enthusiastically. “It’s worth a shot, right?”

“Right,” Ivan repeated, dazed.

“So you should go! Now!”

“Now…” Ivan balked. “Now?”

“Might as well, right?” Hyuna squeezed his shoulders again, finally releasing him. “Go get ‘em, tiger!”

She shoved him and Ivan stumbled to his feet. He was promptly pushed out the door, Hyuna dragging him all the way to Till’s room.

“Hyuna, wait,” Ivan said desperately. “I’m all sweaty, plus he’s busy and I don’t want to bother him, so—“

“Sweat is sexy!” Hyuna continued marching, an unstoppable force to his very moveable rock. “Wait, how old are you again? …bah, whatever. You’ll learn eventually.”

Panicked, Ivan tried pulling away even harder. “Hyuna, I really don’t think—“

“We’re here!” Hyuna whispered, knocking on Till’s door before booking it down the hallway. She gave him a thumbs up just before disappearing around the corner.

Luckily, Ivan’s room was right next door. He quickly turned around, hoping that Till was too distracted to—

“Ivan?”

Shit.

Till opened the door wider, looking him up and down. “What the hell, why’re you all sweaty?”

“…I was at the gym.” Flustered, Ivan stuck his arm in Till’s face. “Wanna smell?”

“What the—get the fuck away from me!!!” Till recoiled, backing into his room.

Like a moth to a flame, Ivan followed. “Woah, this place is a mess.”

It was true. Till’s desk and floor were covered in papers, some lined with staffs and notes, others littered with scratched-out drawings.

“Ah,” Ivan said lightly. “Art block?“

Till flushed. “Shut up!! This never would’ve happened if you hadn’t—!“ his mouth snapped shut. “…forget it.”

Ivan stared at him. “Till, is all this…about me?” His heartbeat quickened. “Are you drawing me?”

“I said, shut up!!” Till screeched. His cheeks ignited in a furious blush. “It’s embarrassing!!!”

Ivan felt dizzy with how much blood was rushing to his face. It always rocked his world whenever Till did this. All that immense talent and passion…focused on him.

“Nevermind that!” Till snapped. “Where the hell have you been?!”

Ivan laughed, breathless. “Around. Why? Did you miss me?”

“Did I miss you constantly barging into my room and glomping on me during dinner?!” Till sneered.

“…yes?”

Till was silent.

Ivan grinned wider.

“What the fuck ever!” Till crossed his arms. “So? What made you finally come talk to me?”

Hyuna, was Ivan’s automatic reply but he held it back at the last second. “I just…wanted to see you?”

“Right after your workout?” Till wrinkled his nose. “You stink. Take a shower first, then—“

“Also, I need to tell you something,” Ivan blurted, and damnit, there was Hyuna getting in his head again. With Till right there, flushed red and surrounded by the proof that he missed him…well, Ivan doubted he’d get a better sign.

Slowly, Till uncrossed his arms. He was dressed in a mint green shirt with a crimson cat-eye decal over a maroon long-sleeve, complimenting his hair and eyes nicely. Black studs were on his earlobes and silver hoops on his helix, further accentuated by his eyeliner and black nail polish. Items he’d made himself after Mizi read about them in a book. He was amazing like that.

“…well?” Till fidgeted. “If you’re just gonna stare at me—“

“I’m in love with you,” Ivan told him, point-blank. For the first time in a week, he let his smile fade, feeling secure in doing so because…well. This was Till. “You own my heart and I want us to be together. Forever, if you’ll allow it.”

Till froze, his blush starting back up again. “Uh…”

Ivan held his gaze. No smiles. No facades. Just…him. Staring. Like he’d been doing since the first moment they met.

Till’s eyes flashed red. He backed up a step, his face paling even as it remained flushed. “Wait. Huh? Why’re you—is this another prank?” He sounded wrecked. “Don’t fuck with me, Ivan. I’m not messing around.”

Ivan closed his eyes.

That was all he needed to hear.

When he opened them, he was smiling again. “You got me. Nothing gets past you.” He chuckled, pretending it wasn’t breaking him to do so. “Pretty funny, right?”

Till stared at him.

Then his expression darkened. “Get the fuck out.”

“Till?” Ivan tilted his head, still grinning. “I thought you said you missed me?”

“No, I said get the fuck out,” Till seethed. “NOW, IVAN!!!”

Ivan flinched. Till yelled at him pretty often, but never like this. “Till…?”

“GET OUT!!! GET OUT!!! GET OUT!!!” Till started shoving at him, literally hitting and kicking him out the door. “WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?! WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS?!?!” To Ivan’s bafflement, he started crying. “OH HAHA, VERY FUNNY! WELL, I DON’T THINK SO, ASSHOLE!!!” His voice cracked, his shoulders shaking. “EVERY TIME, I FALL FOR THIS! EVERY FUCKING TIME!!! GODDAMNIT, I SHOULD KNOW BETTER!!!!!”

Soon, Ivan found himself violently escorted out, bewildered in the face of Till’s anger and tears. “Wait—“

The door slammed in his face.

Behind it, Till let out a scream of pure, demonic rage. “NEXT TIME I SEE YOU, YOU BETTER BE FUCKING DYING OR DEAD!!!”

Ivan flinched again.

That one…stung pretty deep.

He dithered outside the door. “I’m sorry, Till. I didn’t—“

THUNK.

Ivan reared back as something hit the door so hard, the wood split.

His heart hammered against his chest. This was a colossal fuck up. His biggest yet. God, he didn’t even know he could fuck up this bad.

Sorry Hyuna, Sua, Kai, Ivan thought, despair coating his tongue and withering his soul. You were wrong, after all.

Tail between his legs, he retreated to his room.

Next door, he could still hear Till shouting, throwing things, and letting out the occasional sob. He sounded…broken.

Ivan did that.

He stared at Till’s shirt on his bed, which he’d been using to comfort himself all week. Slowly, he picked it up, folding it and carrying it to the corner of his room. Set it on top of his bookshelf, as far away as possible. Then, slipped under his bedsheets.

Lying flat on his back, Ivan fell asleep to the sound of Till screaming.

Chapter Text

“You can’t be serious.”

“Mizi—“

“No, don’t try to placate me!” Mizi snapped. “I know those people! They were my friends! And now—“ she choked. “Now you’re telling me to just sit back and watch them die?!”

Jacob was quiet. “…you don’t have to watch.”

The room exploded.

As intense as this meeting was, Ivan couldn’t bring himself to care. He just sat there, wearing his smile like a shield as the world kept spinning. Nothing reached him. Nothing mattered.

Still, it was hard to ignore Mizi suddenly bringing up the 49th season of Alien Stage.

“Mizi, I want to agree with you. Trust me, I do.” Hyuna put her head in her hands. “But infiltrating that place is suicide. We’re years behind doing anything like that.”

“Bullshit!” Mizi banged her fist on the table. “We broke out of Anakt Garden when I was seven! There must be a way!” Her voice broke. “They’re your friends, too. More than me, considering you knew them for years while I only did weeks.”

Hyuna’s head sank lower, like each of Mizi’s words carried physical weight. “…all of my friends are right here.”

Mizi screeched.

She launched herself across the table, only Dewey reacting fast enough to pull her back.

“Woah, woah, hey!” Despite being twice her size, Dewey was sweating as he locked his arms under Mizi’s armpits, trying to keep her in place. “Calm down!!”

“DON’T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN!!!” Mizi screamed. “I AM THE PERFECT AMOUNT OF UPSET! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU GUYS?!” She started sobbing, tears streaming down her cheeks. “People are going to die! People whose laugh I know, whose voice I remember, who complimented me and gave me hugs when I asked—and you’re not even trying to save them?!”

”She’s right, you know,” Till seethed. And ouch, despite not being the target of his ire, his tone still made Ivan flinch. “What the fuck, Jacob. I thought we were supposed to be the good guys!”

Jacob sighed. “We are. Or at least, we are to humans.”

“Doesn’t fucking look like it!!!”

“Can it and think for a second,” Isaac snapped. “You’re asking us to send out every single active member of this base in order to save, what? Eight people? We helped more than that today. It’s just not worth it.”

“Isaac,” Hyuna said coldly, “shut the fuck up.”

Isaac threw up his hands. “I’m on your side!”

“…what if we sent in a small team?” Hyun-Woo suggested. “Sneak in during dress rehearsal, then sneak out? There shouldn’t be as many guards since the crowd won’t be there yet, right?”

“Ha,” Luka mumbled, face down on the table. Honestly, it was shocking he’d even spoken up. “Alien Stage has its own barracks. No doubt the place will be flooded if the wrong alarms get tripped.”

Mizi growled. “Who cares?! Let’s just kill them! They’re traitors to their own species!!”

“Holy fuck,” Dewey muttered. “Do you eat bullets or something? Goddamn.”

They continued fighting, their voices climbing higher and higher in pitch. Everyone was talking over each other, so no one was heard. It was complete chaos.

Ivan’s eyes slanted to the side. Sua met his gaze, and he knew they were both thinking the same thing.

He tilted his head at her. She scowled back. He grinned, admittedly a weak and fragile thing. Her fierce expression melted into one of concern, then she sighed.

“Mizi,” Sua said quietly, somehow managing to find a lull in the violence. The reaction was immediate, Mizi’s head snapping up at her girlfriend’s voice. “You need a plan.”

“…what?” Mizi’s brow furrowed.

“You need a plan,” Sua repeated. “No one’s going to accept your proposal otherwise. As it stands, this is a suicide mission.”

Mizi’s pupils shook. “But I…”

“If you really want to go, I’ll come with you.” Sua’s gaze was one of pained understanding. “But without a plan, we’ll die before we even reach the gate.”

There was a beat.

Then Mizi exhaled, releasing all her tension. Dewey stumbled, not expecting the abrupt shift in weight.

“Okay,” she said. “Okay. Let’s make a plan, then. We can do that much, right?” She glared at Jacob. “Oh, leader?”

Jacob offered her a sad smile. “…yes, Mizi. We can try.”

Mizi balled her fists. It was obvious she knew that he was just humoring her, but she didn’t snap again. “Great. Let’s get started.”

Alien Stage was much bigger than Ivan remembered.

Then again, it had been nine years. He’d grown a lot since escaping Anakt Garden, so memories of their field trips were bound to be obscured. Still, it was unsettling just how much space there was.

Until, of course, they snuck into the human-only areas. Then the proportions made sense.

“Who are you?! What do you want?!” A female contestant held a chair out in front of her like a weapon. Good instincts. “I-I’m not bad! I’m not bad, so—!”

Hyuna ripped the hood off her face. “Anna, calm down. It’s me.”

“…Hyuna?” Anna’s eyes bulged out of her sockets. “Huh? What?! But you're dead!”

“Surprise,” Hyuna said dryly. “Now come with me if you want to live.”

They continued like that, Hyuna taking the lead when it came to persuading the contestants to follow. Luka was skeptical about this part of this plan (particularly because of how much it put Hyuna in danger), but in the end, he didn’t really have a say.

Mizi made eye contact with Ivan, flicking her head up toward the security cameras. He nodded back, assuring her that their feed was cut.

He glanced at Till, who’d been stubbornly sticking to Mizi’s side for the entire mission. Apparently, he’d been serious about never wanting to see Ivan again, because he’d only shown him his back the entire time they’d been here.

Isaac took his arm, pulling him in the direction of the door before letting go. Ivan followed him out, Dewey trailing just behind them. Jacob was waiting for them in the hallway alongside Kat and Vicky, the six of them spreading out to control the perimeter.

Ivan double-checked his assigned corridor, straining his ears for any noise. The contestants’ Owners were probably almost done reaming the employees here over the stage lights they’d rigged to fall, so they really needed to get a move on.

In the end, infiltrating this place was both simpler and more difficult than anyone imagined.

Sewers. Ivan wrinkled his nose. Who would’ve thought?

Hyuna, apparently.

Suddenly, Hyun-Woo appeared around the corner, fast and silent as a shadow. Panic seized Ivan’s heart as he made no move of slowing down. He caught his arm anyway, asking with his eyes what happened.

Hyun-Woo grimaced, pointing down. Then he took off, presumably to warn the others.

Ivan’s eyes widened. Joon. Injured. In the sewers.

Outside lookout has been compromised.

He readied his gun, switching corridors. If the front door wasn’t available, then they needed to go through the guards’ entrance. Risky, but feasible. Unfortunately, that would have to do.

Both plans involved Ivan manning the penultimate corridor, so after a few minutes of waiting, he was ready for the big group coming his way. He joined them seamlessly, following their rhythmic jogging just as they’d trained.

No pauses. No hesitation.

Kat was waiting for them at the final corridor, already primed to unlock the door. The second they did, the barracks would be alerted, which meant guards would spill out. Hopefully, they had enough of the element of surprise to evade them.

She met someone’s eye—Jacob’s, probably—nodded, then pressed Hyuna’s universal decoder to the lock. It blipped green, then they were through.

Alarms sounded.

The contestants cried out in fear, some trying to run back inside. Having predicted this, the rebels’ herding formation wouldn’t let them. They had no choice but to continue unless they wanted a gun in their face.

The first guards appeared.

Ivan immediately shot one in the shoulder, the others also taking fire. Not that he had any qualms about killing them, but Till didn’t like it when he did. And Ivan didn’t want to upset him any more than he already had.

More guards appeared. More shots rang out. The pattern continued until the white android-looking uniforms were numerous, overwhelming them.

Or so they thought.

The rebels fought like beasts, used to being outnumbered and fighting with impassioned, trained, wild abandon. Nothing like the guards, who only fought because they were told.

Ivan saw himself in them.

He shot the next one in the calf.

He glanced back, wanting to see how the others were doing. Hyuna, good. Mizi, good. Till—

Ivan’s eyes widened, his blood running cold.

No.

He sprinted forward, not caring that he was making himself a target. Gunfire rang out all around him, heat whizzing by his ear. But he didn’t slow down, couldn’t.

Ivan shoved Till aside just in time to take the bullet.

Drones, he thought. No one said there’d be drones.

Then pain.

Ivan woke up to Mizi’s crying face.

The second she saw he was awake, she threw herself over his chest. “I’m so sorryyyyy!!!”

Ivan blinked down at her, mystified by her actions. “Mizi, it’s fine. How long are you going to keep doing this?”

“Until you’re better,” Mizi sobbed. “This never would’ve happened if I’d planned better, like you all said!”

“We did plan well.” Ivan leveraged himself up with his good arm, letting the other hang limp. “No one knew there’d be drones. It’s not your fault.”

Mizi sprang up, her hands hovering over his trapezius. “But it was so close to your head! And spine! And neck! If it’d been just a few inches off—“

“But it wasn’t,” Ivan interrupted, smiling. “Thank you for worrying about me, but I’m really just fine.”

“You’ll be out of commission for months,” Mizi said miserably. “Thank god it was easy to take out the bullet, but your recovery—“

“Will be fine,” Ivan finished. He stretched out his good arm. “Would you feel better if we hugged?”

Mizi burst into tears, collapsing onto his chest.

They were still in that position when Till walked in. “…uh. Should I come back later?”

“NO!” Ivan and Mizi yelled at the same time.

Mizi cleared her throat. “Um. No. I was just leaving.” She flashed Ivan one last smile, pecking his cheek before disentangling them. “Feel better, okay Ivan?”

“Yes, boss.” Ivan grinned. “Whatever gets you to stop crying on me.”

Mizi coughed out a wet snort, giving Till a quick hug before she left.

Then they were alone.

“…hey,” Till greeted, not looking at him. There were bags under his eyes, as there‘d been since Ivan’s catastrophic confession. “Thanks. For taking the hit.”

Ivan gulped. “Don’t mention it.”

Silence.

Till scuffed his foot. “…Mizi’s been really touchy lately. Probably because of you.”

“Yeah, I noticed,” Ivan chuckled. ”You’d think people would stop giving me special treatment after the first few days.”

Till scowled. “You’re still in the damn clinic. Wait until you get out first before expecting everyone to act normal again.”

“…point.”

More silence. Usually, Ivan loved being quiet with Till. But now, it was…awkward. Stifling.

“Okay, well.” Till hunched his shoulders, pivoting toward the door. “Bye.” He sped out of the room, disappearing as quickly as he’d come.

Ivan waited a few minutes, but Till didn’t show up again. Exhaling heavily, he collapsed back onto the pillows.

Then he grinned.

“Move over.” Luka shoved Ivan’s legs out of the way, clambering onto the patient bed. “We’re playing Goldfish.”

Ivan smiled pleasantly at him. “No. Now get the fuck off my bed.”

“Ha!” Luka snorted. “You mean my bed. I’m just temporarily letting you use it.”

“Just because you’re in here the most doesn’t make it your bed,” Ivan reminded him. Again. “The clinic is a public space, open to anyone who needs it.”

“Hmm, no.” Luka’s smile was angelic. “Mine.”

Ivan’s eye twitched. “You’re aggravating a patient.”

“Good, perish,” Luka quipped, handing him his cards. He raised an eyebrow in challenge.

Ivan huffed, taking it. ”Don’t blame me if you lose.”

“Oh, of course not,” Luka tittered. “I’ll just kill you, instead. Should be easy now that you’re like this.”

They played for two hours before someone else came in.

“Oh, fuck me,” Sua groaned. “I have to deal with both of you?”

Luka adopted a pitiful expression. “Sua, this ugly guy won’t get off my bed. Please threaten him with lethal injection if he doesn’t move.”

“It’s not your bed,” Sua deadpanned, “but I’ll think about it.”

Ivan pouted. “Everyone’s so mean to me.”

“What do you even need the bed for, anyway?” Sua asked, ignoring him. “You’re just here for a shot, right? No bed required.”

Luka sniffed. “It’s the principle of the thing.”

“…right.” Sua rolled her eyes. “Give me a minute while I set everything up.”

She went over to the medical cabinets, rummaging through them for needles and other supplies. That left Ivan and Luka to continue their game, their tie breaking when Ivan paired up the last threes.

Ivan reveled in the unhappy curl of Luka’s lip. “Shall we stop here?”

“No,” Luka rejected swiftly. “Next—“

“Luka, arm,” Sua interrupted. She took it without prompt, swiping an alcoholic pad against the crook. “Don’t move.”

Trapped, Luka was forced to oblige as the needle pierced his skin. Ivan smirked at his moody glare.

“Okay, done. Now get out,” Sua droned.

So elated was Ivan that Luka was being forced to leave on a loss, he missed how the blond caught Sua’s eye and tilted his head, her eyebrows raising.

Luka sighed. “Fine. You win.” He got up, fixing Ivan with one of his mysterious grins. “I hope you like your prize.”

Ivan’s smirk faded. “What…?”

“I’m leaving, too,” Sua announced. “Someone else will be changing your bandages.”

Ivan’s brow furrowed. “Someone else? But you—“

“Bye.”

They left, Ivan too stunned to protest. Not that he could've, seeing as they were already gone.

After a few minutes, he heard familiar stomping. He perked up, his body reacting before his mind made the connection.

Till marched in, his face stormy. The mere sight of him stole Ivan’s breath from his lungs.

Because it was Till, yes. But more because of what he was wearing.

Cat accessories. A bell. Most notably, a bright pink maid outfit with a frilly white apron, a matching headband atop silver locks.

Suddenly, Ivan was glad he was covered in blankets. “Uh…?”

“This is so fucking stupid,” Till hissed. Like an actual cat. He was blushing to the roots of his hair, his eyes bouncing all over the room. “You’ve taken your meds, right? Dipshit?”

Ivan gulped.

Was this heaven? Of course, it was. Obviously, he’d passed during the night and was being greeted by an angel. There was no other explanation for such a holy sight.

Till glared at the ceiling. “Well?!”

“Y-yes,” Ivan stammered, his forebrain activating just enough to answer basic questions. “My, uh. Painkillers and antibiotics. Yes. I have. Taken them.”

“At least you’ve done that much,” Till scoffed. His gaze dragged down to meet Ivan’s, and wow, was he sweating? Because Ivan was pretty sure he was sweating. “So. Bandages. Then you can have lunch.”

Visions of Till hand-feeding him in this outfit invaded Ivan’s mind. “You’re helping me eat lunch?”

“Fuck no!” Till bristled. “Your other hand works, doesn’t it?! Use that!”

“But I want you to feed me,” Ivan whined, the plea coming from the very depths of his soul. “Please, Till?”

Till stiffened. “…I’ll think about it.”

Yup, Ivan was in heaven.

“Now take off your shirt.”

Ivan blinked. “Come again?”

“I said, take off your fucking shirt,” Til snapped. “Hurry up, I don’t have all day.”

…Ivan was in hell.

“Okay,” he croaked, reaching behind him to undo the strap. They had patient gowns and shirts for injuries exactly like his, so you wouldn’t have to raise your arms every time you changed clothes.

Unfortunately, Ivan was in no state of mind to make his fingers cooperate.

After a few minutes of watching him try and fail to undo a simple knot, Till sighed. “Nevermind, I’ll do it.”

Then he got closer.

Ivan barely breathed as Till reached behind him, their fingers brushing as he deftly untied the fabric. Electric shocks raced up his skin at the sensation, leaving goosebumps in their wake.

Too soon, Till leaned back. “Can you raise your arms or do I have to untie those too?” He took one look at Ivan’s face before scowling. “Forget it; I’m already here.”

He pulled at the little bows on Ivan’s sleeves, his shirt falling as it lost the ability to hold itself up.

Ivan sucked in a breath.

He was now shirtless. While Till was hovering over him in cat ears and a maid dress. While he was in bed.

…if the gunshot didn’t kill him, this might.

Till blushed when he was bare, glaring at the bedside table. “At least Sua was nice enough to get everything ready. Much better than that idiot pervert Luka.”

“Pervert? Luka?” Ivan snapped to attention, even though thinking was really, really hard right now. “Did he do something to you?”

“Who the hell do you think gave me the dress?” Till scowled, grabbing the bandage roll and some gauze. “He kept saying it would ‘help speed up your recovery’ if I wore it. I was gonna deck him, but then Mizi and Dewey agreed.” He hesitated, his hand spasming as it reached for Ivan’s wound. “…whatever. If pandering to your inner freak makes you feel better, then fuck it. You’ve earned this much.”

For the first time in his life, Ivan considered hugging Luka.

“Though, I wish he didn’t sport that nosebleed.” Till scrunched his eyebrows. “That was weird.”

…nevermind. Ivan was definitely going to kill him.

All thoughts of murder were knocked from his head when Till’s fingers touched his bare shoulder.

Ivan bit down hard on his lip, refusing to make a single sound as Till changed his bandages. He had no control over what would come out if he did.

Till’s movements were swift and precise, unerringly gentle as he unwrapped Ivan’s shoulder and removed the gauze. Squirting some antibiotic on his finger (good thoughts; happy thoughts; nice, innocent thoughts), he carefully rubbed it around the wound before placing the new gauze on top. He made sure to hold it securely in place as he rewrapped Ivan’s shoulder, all the while his nimble fingers kept skimming over bare skin.

By the time Till finished, Ivan was surprised he hadn’t hyperventilated himself into passing out.

“You’re breathing hard. Does it hurt that much?” Till frowned, glancing at Ivan’s face. His eyes widened in surprise. “Oh shit—stop that!! You’re making yourself bleed!”

In a heart-stopping move, he reached up and swiped his thumb across Ivan’s bottom lip.

Till seemed to realize what he’d done right after Ivan’s brain crashed and died.

“I—sorry!!!” Till scrambled back, cradling his hand to his chest. “I didn’t mean to—“ his face lit up a violent red “—just don’t hurt yourself!! Okay?!”

Ivan didn’t respond, too busy being deep-fried to even consider it.

Till made a strangled sound. “Fuck! I said I was sorry!! So stop looking at me like that!!!”

Ivan had no idea how he was looking at him. All of his higher brain functions had shut down, leaving absolutely no room for him to put on his usual smile, much less make another face. If he had to guess, he’d say he’d gone back to ‘creepy’ mode.

Ah. Ivan’s mind caught hold of a singular tangible thought. Is he scared like Kai was…?

Forcing his lips to angle up, Ivan smiled. “Sorry, Till.” He grinned wider when Till paled, trying his best not to look absolutely psychotic. “Do you want to leave?”

“No, that’s not—“ Till exhaled shakily. “First, stop doing that with your face. You look like you’re about to have a seizure.”

Ivan did so immediately. There was no point in straining himself if he freaked out Till either way.

“Good,” Till said, relaxing slightly. Something in Ivan glowed at the praise. “Now, I just. Can. Can you promise me something?” His tone changed, suddenly sounding desperate. He also shuffled closer, to which Ivan felt his pupils expand.

Enamored, he breathed, “Anything.”

Till shuddered. “You…don’t leave me.” He met Ivan’s gaze head-on, his eyes shining with unshed tears. “You’re not allowed to leave me. Got it?!”

Ivan nodded before he could think. “I promise.”

Till stared at him for a long moment.

“Okay,” he said quietly, his shoulders slumping. “Okay, good. Friends?”

Ivan’s hindbrain snagged on the title, and he blinked. “Friends…?”

“Yes, asshole.” Till glared at the ceiling. His bell jingled softly, something on his face catching the light. “Best friends. Family. Whatever.” His voice cracked. “Just…no more confessions, okay? That’s my one rule.”

Ivan felt something deep inside him break.

“…okay,” he whispered. “Whatever you want, Till. Whatever you want.”

Till swiped at his eyes, looking down at him with a shaky half-smile.

Heartbroken, Ivan smiled back.

Chapter Text

“Minh Vy, you’re gonna kill me,” Till choked, jostling the seven-year-old on his back. “Lower your arms a bit—yeah, like that.”

Ivan barked out a laugh. “Wow, Till. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone fail at giving a piggyback ride before.”

Till stuck out his tongue. It only made Ivan laugh harder.

They were currently outside, the sun beating down on their backs. It being the hot season meant they were sweating in minutes, which is probably why Mizi and Sua begged off. Smart of them. Right now, Ivan felt like he could single-handedly drain the base’s entire water supply.

“Ivan-hyung, pick me up too!” Luan tugged on his pant leg, a mischievous grin on his face.

Ivan grinned back. “What, so we can fight them?”

Luan puffed out his cheeks. “No…”

“Aw. Well, that’s too bad,” Ivan said casually. Hyuna’s genes are so strong. “I thought it’d be fun.”

Luan lit up. “I’ll do it!!!”

“No hitting,” Hyun-Woo chided. He looked incredibly nonchalant for a man with two small children using him like a jungle gym. “If you have to hit someone, do it to the adults.”

Till’s nose scrunched. “Gee, thanks.”

“I’ll make sure no one hits you,” Minh Vy promised. They looked oddly determined, their black-and-red eyes glinting like steel. “If Luan tries, I’ll kick him in the face.”

“Absolutely do not do that,” Till deadpanned, “but thanks. I appreciate it.”

“IIIINNCOMIIIIINNGGG!!!”

Dewey sprinted past them, a shrieking Hyulla on his back.

Luan, who had just been hoisted up by Ivan, immediately started squirming and digging his heels into his ribs. “Hey, no fair! They got a head start!!”

“We’re racing them?” Ivan asked, chuckling when that earned him another kick. “Alright, alright. Hold on tight!”

They zoomed across the courtyard, Dewey grinning and picking up speed when he realized he was being chased. All the while, Hyun-Woo shouted at them to slow down before they tripped.

Luan kept kicking Ivan to go faster, Hyulla shouting insults at them when he noticed what was happening. They were impressive too, which made sense for a Hyuna-Till kid.

“Hey, are you guys—WOAH!!!” Isaac showed up at the exact wrong moment, Dewey nearly face-planting in his efforts to avoid a head-on collision.

Merciless, Ivan gunned right past them, Luan screaming in victory. Feeling satisfied, he slowed to a stop.

“Nice,” Kai commented, having also come out to watch. He lifted a camera, and Ivan just knew Hyuna would have a field day scrapbooking this. “Hey Luan, look here—yeah, good. Smile!”

Ivan and Luan sported matching toothy grins for the picture, Ivan ambling over to see the final product. Kai fist-bumped him before showing off the result.

“Ahh, we have the same face!” Luan crowed, laughing like it was the funniest thing he’d ever seen. “Ivan-hyung, don’t copy my face!”

“It’s been my face for a lot longer, though?” Ivan smiled wider when Luan pouted. “Why don’t you stop copying me?”

Of course, they were both actually copying Luka. But they hadn’t officially told the kids their origins yet, and even though Ivan was pretty sure they already somewhat knew, everyone was in mutual agreement to wait until they were fully independent before confirming the truth. That way, no one had to fulfill a role they weren’t ready to.

“It’s okay, Luan,” Kai reassured him. “You wear it a lot better, anyway.”

Luan brightened again. “Ha! Suck it, ugly hyung!”

Ivan hummed. “What was that? You want me to drop you?”

“No, don’t!!!” Luan squeaked. He clung tighter, his little limbs squeezing Ivan with all his might. “You’re so handsome, Ivan-hyung! The handsomest!!”

“What the hell are you teaching that kid?” Isaac appeared from behind to flick Ivan on the forehead. Nearby, Dewey chortled at the display. “This better not be what your classes are like.”

Ivan gasped in mock offense. “And let them miss out on the joys of reading and math? I would never.”

“Fire him!!!” Hyulla screeched from Dewey’s back. “Ivan-hyung is so mean! Drill sergeant!! Who said you could give us so much homework, huh?!”

Isaac looked at Hyulla, then at Ivan. “You’re doing a better job than I thought. Keep up the good work.”

Ivan grinned. “You got it! Also, Hyulla: you’re reading out loud first tomorrow.”

”What?!” Hyulla wailed. “Nooooo!”

They continued to banter and play, running around and posing for the occasional picture. Speaking of which, Hyun-Woo had apparently wandered off with the girls to join Hyuna and Luka’s photoshoot (why they decided to have one in this heat, Ivan had no idea). Again, he was jealous of Mizi and Sua’s foresight. They probably weren’t sweating at all, staying nice and cool in an air-conditioned room…

“Hey, focus,” Till snapped.

Ivan blinked. Oh, right: he was playing freezer tag right now. Ironic. “Who’s ’it’ again?”

“Dewey.” Till flapped the collar of his shirt. No doubt he was also feeling the heat. “Good thing. He’s too busy ‘flirting’ with Isaac to chase anyone else seriously.”

Ivan looked over to where Dewey was indeed focusing all his efforts on Isaac, much to the other kids’ dismay. They kept circling him, trying to taunt him into going after them instead, but to no avail. Meanwhile, Isaac was cursing up a storm as he ran from a kissy-noise-making Dewey.

“Ah. Well, knowing Isaac, he’ll either give up or knock Dewey flat on his back,” Ivan chuckled. He glanced at Till. “Say, you think—“

His next words died as his mouth went totally dry. And not because of the weather.

Till was using the hem of his shirt to wipe the sweat off his forehead, showing off his toned stomach. Planes of hard muscle glistened in the light, the jut of his hipbones cutting into territories unknown.

“Hmm? You were saying?” Till lowered the fabric with a frown. “You’re all red. Did you get heatstroke or something?”

“Uh,” Ivan stammered. Goddamnit, not again. Stop staring; you’re supposed to be friends! Friends!! “Maybe? I, um,” —say something, say something— “you’re really pale. It’s, uh—blinding? Haha.”

“Um, fuck you?” Till scowled, dropping the shirt. ”You’re even paler, asshole.”

Ivan relaxed. Somehow, he’d managed to salvage that. “Yeah, but it looks good on me.”

Till flipped him off. Ivan laughed, relieved to be back in safer territory.

“Oh, right.” Till waved a hand over his face, gesturing to his eyebrow and lip piercings. “These healed up, so I’m thinking about getting something new.” He tapped a finger against his nose, also sticking out his tongue. “So? Have a preference?”

Ivan bluescreened. Before he could even think to respond, he got tackled by two-hundred pounds of solid muscle.

“Gotcha!” Dewey cackled. ”Ha, too easy!!”

He got up and sprinted after Till, who’d spooked and booked it the second he flew in. Not that Ivan noticed, his brain still stuck on its loading screen.

Distantly, he felt grateful that he was now ‘frozen’ on his stomach. It gave him some much needed time to calm down before he’d be expected to act normal again.

Normal. Normal. Ivan could do normal. He was so normal: the normalest guy in the whole normal to ever normal. That’s how normal he was.

“Ivan, I see that look on your face!” Isaac called from where he was standing several meters away. “Come on, man. There are kids here!!”

…damnit.

So much for normal.

Hyun-Woo caught Ivan’s eye over Till’s shoulder before breaking out into a grin. He immediately hid it by stuffing his face with food, but it was too late: Till had already tensed.

Ivan pounced anyway, wrapping his arms around Till’s shoulders and burying his face in his hair.

“Oi!” Till yelled. “This again?! You know you’re getting predictable, right?!”

“If you get used to it, then all the better~!” Ivan purred.

Till gurgled, his face flushing. “You—!”

“Guys. I’m eating,” Sua deadpanned. “Go be gay somewhere else.”

Luka tutted. “Don’t be homophobic. Ivan, Till, feel free to make out. In fact, I actively encourage it.”

“Oh my god, Luka!” Hyuna laughed, intertwining their hands. “What the heck? You’re so funny!”

Ivan brightened, tilting Till’s face up with his hands. “That sounds like a great idea! Shall we?”

“WHAT?!” Till screeched. There wasn’t a single part of him that wasn’t red. Even his hands were tinted. It was incredibly endearing.

Mizi burst out laughing. “Kiss! Kiss!”

“Mizi, not you too!” Till slithered out of Ivan’s hold, kicking his chair out from under the table so it collided with his stomach.

“Oof!” Ivan wheezed, staggering back with a chuckle. “That’s gonna leave a bruise.”

“Deserved,” Sua said maliciously.

Ivan was about to whine at her when Hyun-Woo and Kai showed up.

“Hey Ivan, I got your—“ Hyun-Woo blinked at Ivan doubling-over, setting down two food trays. “Ah. Is Till under the table again?”

“Shut up!!!” Till hissed from his hiding place. He clambered up, yanking his chair back and taking a seat. “Get that freak away from me!! I can’t eat when he’s around!”

Kai laughed, bumping Ivan’s shoulder. “You heard the man. Come on, Mr. Freak.”

They sat down, everyone falling into conversation. Mizi was hyping up Till, who was thinking of painting a mural outside the base. Hyuna was regaling Kai with Hyun-Woo’s most embarrassing childhood memories while he tried and failed to stop her. As a final odd pairing, Sua and Luka were discussing the kids’ recent physicals and bloodwork. Apparently, there was some debate over whether the Luka hybrids had inherited his heart issues or not.

Ivan listened to all three, chiming in with the occasional comment to sow chaos before tagging in somewhere else. It caused a lot of eye rolls (Sua) and complaints (Hyun-Woo), but ultimately, he got the best reactions out of Till.

“Asshole!” Till banged his fist on the table. “Give me back my clothes!! I’m running out of workout gear!”

Ivan pouted. “But they’re the only type you don’t make. I don’t want to take anything important.”

“Then stop stealing my shit!!!”

Mizi clapped her hands together. “I know! What if you gave Ivan some of your clothes every so often? Then he wouldn’t have to steal them anymore!”

They were silent for a beat.

“…Mizi,” Till said gravely. “I appreciate that you’re trying to help, but. No.”

Sua paused her discussion about calcium levels to glance at the pair. “Fucking hell. The clothes thing again?” She frowned at Ivan. “I told you to at least wash and give them back later. You can’t even do that much?”

“I do!” Ivan defended. “If anything, it’s Till’s fault for only having one week’s worth of workout gear.”

Till threw his empty water pouch at him. Ivan caught it, tucking it away for safekeeping. “Dont fucking victim blame me!!”

“He’s a growing boy, Till,” Luka reproved. “Be a little more understanding.”

“Growing—“ Till sputtered. “He’s twenty-one! And the fuck does that even mean in this context?!”

(Across the table, Kai whispered to Hyun-Woo, “Is this why you hardly ever invite me to sit with you guys?”

“Yes,” Hyun-Woo replied miserably. “And they were so well-behaved last time too…I guess they got used to your presence.”

“Isn’t that a good thing?”

“What do you think?”)

“Screw this!!!” Till stood abruptly, his chair scraping against the floor. “I’m not even hungry anymore! See you never!!” He grabbed his tray and stormed out, giving them all the middle finger.

There was some laughter and calls for him to return, then an awkward silence when he didn’t.

Thankfully, Mizi broke it. “Don’t worry, Ivan! The fact that he lets you steal his clothes at all means he likes you!”

Sua gave her an odd look. “Mizi, I love you. But sometimes you worry me.”

“No, no, she’s right!” Hyuna insisted. “Luka’s the only person I let borrow my clothes without permission!”

Hyun-Woo shot Luka a dirty look. Kai patted his shoulder in consolation.

“I told you, it’s not like that,” Ivan dismissed. “Till’s just too nice for his own good.”

Mizi frowned. “But—“

“He just wants to be friends.” Ivan focused on his meal, taking a bite. “Or do you want me to rehash the story again?”

Everyone went quiet. The reactions to teenage Ivan informing everyone why he’d stopped confessing to Till were mixed, but there was one dominant sentiment: disbelief. For some reason, not a single one of them had ever given up the idea that Till liked Ivan back. Some days, he appreciated it. Most of the time, it just made him feel worse.

Hyuna glanced at the others before leaning over the table. “Listen, Ivan. Not to overstep, but—“

“Then don’t.” Ivan stood, picking up his tray. “We’ve had this conversation. We’ve had it a lot. And as much as I appreciate it, I just…can’t. Okay? I can’t confess. So please, drop it.”

Then he walked off, his smile an open wound across his face.

“Alright, good workout!” Jacob clapped his hands together. “Thanks for following along, everybody. This’ll help me plan drills.” He winked. “Hyuna too, since it was her idea in the first place. If I don’t watch out, she’ll be coming for my job soon!”

“We’re counting down the days!” Kat called.

Jacob pointed at her. “Thank you for volunteering! Everyone, find a partner—Kat and I will demonstrate our stretches today!”

Kat cried out in faux horror. Dramatically, she dragged her feet to the front.

Everyone started forming pairs, most of them obvious. Mizi and Sua, Hyuna and Luka, Dewey and Isaac, Hyun-Woo and Kai. Though, Vicky and Joon was an odd one.

“Isaac, I pulled a muscle!” Dewey whined. “Help me out?”

Isaac smirked. “What, want me to kiss it better?”

“Ye,” Dewey said sadly. “Pwetty pwease?”

Isaac gagged. “Ugh, nevermind. That accent was terrible.”

“Nuuuuu!”

Observing them, Ivan ascertained the upper limit of friendly behavior. Keeping it in mind, he grinned at Till. “Feeling flexible, ‘partner?’”

“I don’t like the way you said that.” Till narrowed his eyes. “Hold on. Stop looking at me like that. Ivan, I’m warning you—Ivan!”

Ivan snatched his wrist, twirling him and pressing his knee to the center of Till’s back. At the front of the room, Jacob and Kat performed the same move.

“Kugk—!” Till quivered at the stretch, his vertebrae cracking in protest. Ivan grinned, his inner demon enjoying the sound.

“Good!” Jacob pushed on Kat’s shoulder, encouraging her to lay down. “Next stretch is on the floor. Everyone, bend your partner’s leg like this.”

Following along, Ivan maneuvered Till into lying on his side, pressing his knee as close to his shoulder as possible. Unconsciously, Ivan’s other hand came up to rest on Till’s thigh. His fingers curled under his shorts, feeling the muscle there. The low placement forced him to kneel down, his knees brushing Till’s shoulder and thigh while his hips warmed Till’s glutes.

Hmm.

Hmmmm.

Wasn’t this position a little…?

“Hyeek!” Till glared up at him tearily. “Take it easy, asshole!”

“Uh…” Despite no longer exercising, Ivan felt his heart rate increase. Sweat beaded at his temples. “Sorry, Till.”

“Yeah, right! I can see you smiling!” Till snapped. He bit his lip, a pretty blush warming his cheeks. “Just…go slow, okay? And stop pressing so hard.”

Don’t think, don’t think, don’t think. Ivan’s face was on fire, he was sure of it. Subtly, he eased back so they were no longer flush. “Mhmm.”

“Hah, Isaac~!” Dewey moaned loud enough to be heard by the whole room. “I love how big you are. Your hands, that is.” He fluttered his eyelashes coquettishly.

“Dewey, Isaac,” Jacob droned. “Do I have to separate you two?”

Isaac shot him a tired look. “You and I both know that won’t end well.”

“I’ll burn this whole place down to reunite with my lovely,” Dewey affirmed.

“Don’t make me spank you.”

Dewey’s eyes lit up. Luckily, Jacob intercepted his reply. “Then quiet down. Everyone, next stretch!”

Till quickly flipped out of Ivan’s hold, lying flat on his stomach. The back of his neck was a violent shade of red.

Carefully, Ivan pressed his elbow to the center of Till’s back. This time, he touched him as little as possible.

“Hyuna, Luka, good job!” Jacob praised. “Luka, you look like a professional masseuse. Wanna change careers?”

“If anyone but Hyuna asks me to do this, I’ll break their spine,” Luka said pleasantly.

Jacob laughed. “Fair enough. Okay, next!”

Ivan helped Till sit up, lifting his tricep to his ear. His other hand squeezed Till’s shoulder instead of his arm, deliberately so he could avoid skin. One unimpeded touch was already far too much for his tenuous self-control.

Till shuddered, his whole body flushing red. It was seriously distracting, not to mention dangerous.

“Am I hurting you?” Ivan muttered, unable to help it. Till was just so…reactive. “You’re trembling.”

“No! No,” Till said. Ivan didn’t know if it was a good or bad thing that he couldn’t see his face. “I’m just…sore. I haven’t been stretching as much as I should.”

The air between them was electrifying, sparks sizzling everywhere they touched. And a few places they weren’t.

Ivan prayed for this trial to be over soon.

The spell was broken when Jacob chided, “Mizi, loosen up! Sua can’t stretch you properly if you’re too tense!”

“Sorry!” Mizi’s giggle was oddly high-pitched. “We’re just touching a lot, so it’s making me nervous!”

“Didn’t need to know that, but I appreciate the honesty.” Jacob clapped his hands together. “Alright, great job everyone! That’s all for our stretches!”

Ivan yanked his hands away from Till like he’d been burned, relief coursing through him. Finally, the end.

“Now, switch!”

…

Welp. Shit.

Ivan blinked as Till rushed past him, blushing bright red.

“Till, noooo, come back!! I wasn’t making fun of you, I promise~!” Mizi called from inside the main room, swaying and giggling up a storm. “I’m just laughing at you a little bit!”

Ivan looked back at Till, decided they’d had more than enough of each other for today, then continued on to Mizi. “Hey, troublemaker. Drinking alone?”

“No, Sua’s here!” Mizi brightened, scooting her chair back to show off her sleeping girlfriend in her lap. “Isn’t she the cutest?”

Ivan laughed, taking a seat. On stage, Hyuna was already hyping up the crowd, unhindered by Luka clinging to her back. “Hmm, sorry. I know someone cuter.”

“Oh, Till!” Mizi’s eyes lit up. “We were just talking about you!” She leaned closer, like she was letting him in on a secret. “He thinks you’re sexy~!”

Ivan twitched, his heart doing a backflip. “…you’re drunk.”

“Only a little!” Mizi insisted. “No, listen. He didn’t think you were sexy before—“

“Gee, thanks.”

“—but now he does! Don’t you see?” Mizi gazed at him imploringly. “For the longest time, we thought Till was one of those romance-only types. But no more! Now, you have new ways to flirt!” She shook his arm, jubilant. “Innuendos! Sexual tension! Instead of confessing, you can just—just—“

“Proposition him?” Ivan said dryly.

“Yes!!” Mizi beamed. “Yes, exactly!“

No wonder Till was so red. Mizi had probably embarrassed (or angered?) the hell out of him by spouting this nonsense.

“Thanks, Mizi,” Ivan patted her arm consolingly, “but no thanks. Doing that would definitely scare him off.”

Not to mention, fuel fires he barely kept at bay. If he allowed himself to think of Till like that, disaster was sure to follow.

“No, no, no!” Mizi’s fingernails dug into his skin. “You’re not listening!! Till just told me—!”

“That my touch ‘felt weird?’” Ivan surmised, glancing toward the dance floor. Hyun-Woo and Kai were holding onto each other and swaying, in their own little world. It would’ve looked sweet had Dewey not been exaggeratedly gyrating against a laughing-so-hard-he-cried Isaac. “I think you’re misinterpreting it.”

“No!” Mizi repeated, sounding legitimately pissed. Her other hand came up to grab a fistful of Ivan’s hair, shaking his head around. “You—stupid—man!! Listen to what I’m saying!!!” She grabbed both his cheeks, slamming their foreheads together. Her breath smelled like alcohol. “Till is attracted to you! He’s always been attracted to you, but now also in a sexy way! Use it!”

Ivan stared at her, genuinely shaken by her intensity. He knew this was mere drunk rambling, he knew…but she seemed so convinced.

“Wuh…?” Sua sat up, rubbing her eyes. She balked when she saw how close Ivan and Mizi were. “What the—you asshole!!! Give me back my girlfriend!!!”

Mizi was snatched back, Sua curling in her lap like an octopus. Making direct eye contact with Ivan, she stuck her tongue in Mizi’s mouth.

Mizi’s reaction was immediate, enthusiastically accepting the invitation to make out. Ivan politely looked away as both girls got their fill.

…and got it.

…and got it.

…

…

…yeah, okay, he’d lost them.

“Excuse me,” Ivan muttered, deciding to cut his losses. Better to brood in private than interrupt the happy atmosphere.

He snagged some booze before he left, walking back to his room. He kicked his shoes off once inside, opening a bottle and taking a swig.

Next door, Till was composing a song. The wall did nothing to block his rough tenor, the guitar coming through loud and clear.

Idly, Ivan wondered if the walls were thin. He’d never heard his other next door neighbor though, so maybe Till was just loud.

God, he hoped Till was loud. If Drunk Mizi was to be trusted (doubtful), there was a slight chance he could overhear him doing that. Fuck, he hoped Till sang—

Ivan blinked, his thoughts interrupted. He didn’t know why until he realized he’d reached the end of his drink. Sighing, he cracked open a new one. Maybe he should slow down.

Or maybe not. Three bottles was enough to get him drunk, which is what he wanted to clear his head. His mind was already wandering into dangerous territory just hearing Till exist.

He slammed back the rest of his drink, willing his brain to go blank.

Sometime later, there was a neat row of empty bottles on Ivan’s bedside table, the man himself breathing through a stack of Till’s clothes. Unsurprisingly, the alcohol had only made him crave the man’s presence more.

“I’m so stupid,” Ivan giggled, muffled by layers of Till’s scent. ”I’m getting worse, aren’t I? Till?”

Of course, Till didn’t answer. He was too busy playing guitar, his singing drowning out Ivan’s drunk rambling. Not that he’d be able to hear him even if he stopped.

Ivan was very good at being quiet. Reading required no sound, and even when he did that, he bit his pillow to make sure he never made any noise.

Stop it, Ivan admonished himself. Bad thoughts. Shoo. Go away!

He pushed Till’s clothes off his face, scattering them all over the bed. Not that that was much better, but at least he was no longer directly breathing in Till’s scent.

With a final deep sigh, Ivan closed his eyes and fell asleep.