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Sam mentally regressed to a younger age the longer he’s been free to be himself. It comes more naturally to him the longer he was allowed to be little, especially now that he has a loving daddy to take care of him. At first, he’d regress to maybe about six or five, just to test the waters, but as soon as he trusted Gabriel completely, he regressed to about two or three, a more natural age for him so he didn’t have to be so responsible and in control. Because that’s the whole point, relinquishing control so he didn’t feel like he was lost - somebody else was taking care of everything for him.
Sippy cups, pacifiers, stuffed animals, baby blankets. It was all for the comfort of little Sam.
But one thing Sam wanted to try that he hadn’t had the courage to yet was diapers.
He was just a toddler, after all, he didn’t wanna have any accidents.
But he didn’t know how to bring that up to his daddy. It was a weird request, Sam knew he was supposed to be thirty years old, he was supposed to be big. But he didn’t want to be big, darn it!
Knowledge of his real age didn’t stop the longing, he wanted to use diapers or pull ups and no matter his age, that’s what he wanted. He’s sure there’s something very freeing about giving up control to such an extent but he was just afraid to ask for it.
So, Sam didn’t say a word. Not when he was big and most certainly not when he was little. But when he was watching TV and a Huggies or Pampers commercial came on, he couldn’t help but sigh wistfully.
Sam wanted to devise a plan to get Gabriel to try them without freaking him out. Maybe if he had a real accident in his pants, his daddy would buy him some. Just in case, his daddy would say.
But, of course, that brought the problem with his daddy getting upset at him for acting like such a baby when he knows how to use the potty. Sam didn’t want a sore butt just ‘cause he wanted something new.
He tried to think of how to get his daddy on board for the idea. It was a lot of hard thinking, he was only three, after all. All the hard thinking made him forget to speak aloud at all, even when his daddy has been calling his name for a few minutes.
“Sam. Sammy? Sam. Samuel.” Gabriel sighed, tilting Sam’s chin up to look at him.
“Yes, daddy?” Sam asked, blinking in confusion when he looked at his daddy.
“Where have you been today, squirt? You haven’t talked my ear off at all. Are you sick?” Gabriel asked worriedly, running his fingers through Sam’s hair. He knew something was bothering his little boy, and he had an idea as to what it was, but he wanted to hear Sam say it out loud so he didn't bother mentioning it. He was worried, though, it wasn't like his little boy to be so quiet.
“Oh. Nothing, daddy, swear. Just sleepy.” Sam insisted with wide hazel eyes, his most clear cut, 'agree-or-I’ll-break-your-heart' look.
“Sleepy?” Gabe asked in disbelief. “You slept all night, Sammy. You only woke up a few hours ago and it’s definitely not time for your nap. There’s something else bothering you, bug.”
Sam whined a little when Gabe dismissed his excuse, crossing his arms with a pout. He didn’t know how to work this out on his own and he wanted to wait ‘til he was big, he didn’t wanna tell his daddy now!
“Nothing, daddy. I don’t wanna tell you yet.” Sam complained, frowning at his daddy with the most grumpy look he could muster.
“Why’s that?” Gabriel prodded gently, running his fingers through Sam’s hair to try and ease up on that baby bitchface. It wasn't nearly as effective as big Sam's bitchface and he sincerely doubted that his little boy wanted to hear about how cute it actually was when he was little.
“‘Cause- ‘Cause- I don’t know.” Sam said firmly. “I gotta figure it out when I’m big. It’s ‘mbarrassing, daddy.”
“Well, let me break you a deal.” Gabriel suggested, sitting on the couch and tugging Sam to sit with him. “How about you tell daddy what it is you’re so worried about and we’ll figure it out together. I don’t think it’s embarrassing, munchkin, nothing you could say would be embarrassing. You know I love you no matter what you want, right?”
Despite Sam’s grumpy mood, he cuddled into his daddy’s side on the couch, hugging his waist warily. He didn’t want to be pushed away from his daddy for being gross so he clung onto him as tight as he could manage. He just couldn't help being worried but he would never ever turn away comfort his daddy offered.
“I know, daddy.” Sam sighed softly, nuzzling his face against Gabriel’s soft shirt. “But I don’t want you to think I’m yucky is all. I’m your baby boy, right? And I just wanna- I don’t know.” He whined, hiding his eyes inside of Gabe’s shirt. “I don’t wanna talk no more.”
Gabriel sighed and tugged Sam firmly into his lap, hugging him tight so he wouldn’t move away. It was like Sam’s mind and soul were screaming at him so he didn’t have to say it aloud, but Gabriel wanted to hear it from Sam’s mouth. It wasn’t hard to miss, especially since they got cable in Gabe’s little hideaway house, he just never thought Sam would want to try things like that so he brushed it off. They had never even discussed it so he didn't understand why Sam wouldn't bring it up if he wanted to try it. Now, however, he had a good feeling that Sam really wanted to wear diapers and use them. And to be honest, Gabe didn’t mind the idea. If it made Sammy more comfortable in giving up control and if it made him feel as good as he thought it would, then Gabriel was all for it. He loved Sam and that meant he loved doing anything for him, even changing a diaper. It was his job, after all, he's the daddy, he shouldn't be repulsed by responsibility.
“Sammy, listen. You are my baby boy. And I love you more than anything in the whole entire world. I know you’ve been eyeing those diaper commercials, baby, and I know you want to try them. I just want to hear you say it.” Gabe explained gently. “I want to make sure it’s what you want.”
Sam whimpered into Gabriel’s chest, clinging to his shirt as his daddy spoke. His head shot up at the mention of the cursed diapers, eyes wide as he struggled not to cry in shock. He thought he had been so careful!
“What?” He asked, trying to push away from his daddy to get off his lap, his cheeks going bright red in embarrassment. “No!” Sam sniffled, shoving at Gabe’s chest to try and get away but Gabriel only held on tighter, hugging Sam so he couldn’t leave.
“Sammy, Sammy, it’s okay.” Gabriel said soothingly. “Calm down. I’m not upset at you, Samshine.”
Sam hiccuped as he held back his tears, giving up on struggling when he realized it was useless. He collapsed against Gabriel’s chest, shame making his tummy twist as he let out a heart wrenching sob. He shouldn’t have mentioned anything! This was a bad idea! He was stupid and gross and he was going to lose his daddy! He cried and cried, choking every so often as he struggled to catch his breath but Gabriel remained, rubbing his back and whispering sweet things into his hair.
When Sam finally calmed down a little, he wiped his wet face on Gabriel’s shirt, smearing snot and tears across the soft fabric. He peaked up at his daddy, a little confused. Why was his daddy still holding him? He hadn’t pushed him away yet and he didn’t seem grossed out. But maybe he was just being nice to tell Sam that no, that’s yucky, and be over with the conversation.
“Sam.” Gabe said firmly as soon as he ad Sam's attention, continuously running his fingers through Sam’s hair. “It’s okay. Just listen to me, okay? You trust daddy, right? I don’t think you’re gross for wanting this. You’re my baby boy, and I love you, no matter what. If you really want this, I’m willing to do it for you. I love you and I’m not going to get upset over something you want. It’s only natural for you to wear a diaper, anyways, you’re such a little boy, I’m surprised you haven’t had an accident already. But accidents are okay. Sometimes, you’re just having too much fun to remember to use the potty like a big boy and that’s okay, Sam, you’re not a big boy, you’re my little boy. If you want to just try them for at night, just in case, then we can. And when you get used to them, we could try diapers during the day. Anything you want, Sammy, as long as it makes you happy, because I’m happy when you are. You’re my most special boy.”
Sam was tense the whole time Gabriel spoke but he cracked a small smile at the end of it, peeking up at Gabe shyly.
“Really?” He mumbled, rubbing Gabe’s shirt between his fingers.
“Really really.” Gabe said, kissing Sam’s forehead. Sam took a shuddering breath, closing his eyes tight.
“I- Daddy, I wanna try diapers. ‘Cause accidents are okay and it’s not yucky and you’re gonna love me no matter what.” Sam said quietly, opening his eyes to check Gabriel’s face to make sure he said the right thing, his lip worried between his lips.
Gabriel was beaming at Sam’s words, hugging him tight and kissing his hair. They’d have to go shopping, of course, but he figured he would make a fun day out of it so Sam wouldn’t freak out again.
“That’s great! I’m so proud of you.” Gabriel gushed, hugging Sam and rocking him happily. “We’ll have to go buy some, okay? But we’ll go to the toy store and the bookstore and I’ll even let you get ice cream at lunch, if you really want.”
Sam brightened up with each suggestion, nodding his agreement with a smile. He’d even get ice cream?! What a good deal! Even though he was scared to have to go and buy diapers, the rest of the day sounded really really perfect!
“Yes please, daddy, I’d love to!” He exclaimed, wrapping his arms around Gabriel’s neck. “Will you put my shoes on so we could leave?”
Gabriel laughed and easily lifted Sam up, rocking him playfully as he carried him to his room. He dropped Sam on the bed, making him bounce so his little boy squealed with laughter. When Sam settled down, he stuck his feet out for Gabriel to tug his socks on, followed by his shoes. Once they were tied in ‘rabbit ears’, as Sam calls them, and Gabriel managed to clean his shirt and Sam's face, they were ready to go.
“Sam, get your coat.” Gabriel called as Sam sprinted towards the door, putting his own shoes on and shrugging on his jacket. He rolled his eyes when he saw Sam struggle to put his coat on because the sleeves were inside out, quickly mending the matter when he approached his little boy. Sam gave him a sheepish smile and took Gabriel’s hand, ready for their special day.
Gabe easily flew them to the adult baby store they’ve only visited a few times before. Sam always got really shy in it, favoring to hide behind Gabriel while Gabriel shopped. But they were nice and everybody smiled at him - Sam was convinced it was because he was obviously the cutest little boy in the world. At least, that’s what his daddy kept telling him so it had to be true, right?
Gabriel let go of Sam’s hand to hold a small basket, feeling the tight grip his little boy immediately had on his shirt. It was reassuring, no matter what, he always had Sammy holding onto him so he never wandered off. Gabe wasn’t sure why he got so lucky to have such a perfectly good little boy but he was grateful.
“Sammy,” Gabe tried to coax his shy boy out to look at the diapers and pull ups with him. “Do you want the blue or pink ones?”
Sam, for his part, was having a good time being his daddy’s little duck. That’s what he liked to call himself when they walked like this, because he always clung to his daddy’s shirt and followed really close behind him, just like little ducks do with their mommy duck. He whined when he had to be apart of a decision, but he peeked his head over Gabriel’s shoulder curiously. His cheeks flamed in embarrassment but he chewed on his lip in deep thought.
“Blue.” He finally decided, hiding his face in Gabe’s back, right between his shoulderblades. “Can I look at paci’s?”
“Will it make you feel better?” Gabe asked with an amused smile, taking the blue package off the shelf to make sure it was the right size.
“Mhm. Only if I could get a new one, though, daddy, ‘cause I’m gettin’ a new stuffy today and a new book, it’s only fair, right?” He asked, as if it made all the sense in the world to him. He might be a little boy but he never said he wasn't a manipulative one. When he wanted something, he got it and Gabriel knew it.
“Alright, Sammy, but only one.” Gabriel agreed, though if Sam wanted twenty, he’d get them. Things like money were no issue for him and he loved to spoil Sam to pieces since the kid never got it when he was raised by John. But Sam liked structure and rules so Gabe always drew a line somewhere. It made Sam more comfortable to ask for things because he knew they were within reason and he wasn’t so hesitant about spending money anymore.
“Alright, daddy.” Sam nodded excitedly, his embarrassment about the diapers pretty much gone at the idea of getting so many new things. What a spoiled boy he was!
“Think you could be a big boy and go pick one out while I stay here and make sure I get everything?” Gabriel suggested, putting the diapers in the basket so he had a free hand to run through Sam’s hair.
“Mhm. But don’t take too long, okay, daddy? I don’t like bein’ alone.” Sam said, a little nervous about being alone in his little mindset but the thought of picking any paci was really great. Besides, the paci’s were real close to where his daddy was and he was sure he’d still be able to see him if there was an emergency.
It only took Sam a few minutes before he selected a brand new pacifier. He had a ton of pacifiers but only used two the most because they were the coolest. He loved having them, though, just in case something happened to his most special ones. This new one was yellow and had Winnie the Pooh on it, though, that’s his most favorite book character! Ever since daddy had read the stories to him, Sam’s been on a Winnie the Pooh rampage, wanting to watch the movies as many times as he wanted to watch the ones with the dragons. Maybe this pacifier would make it to his top most favorite, right next to his dinosaur one and his glow in the dark one.
Gabriel gave Sam his time to look at the pacifiers, keeping him in his sight while he got the necessary items meant for an adult in a diaper. It was pretty much the same as babies, really, he got wipes, powder, and diaper rash cream - just in case. By the time he was back at Sam’s side, his baby was turning for him with a new pacifier in his grasp. Sam squeaked and put it in the basket, immediately taking Gabriel’s hand again.
“Now can we leave? I really want a new stuffie before lunch, daddy.” Sam complained, his tummy rumbling. He ate breakfast but because of how worried he had been about telling Gabriel about his request, he didn’t eat as much as normal. And with Gabriel making sure he had a healthy and steady diet, missing a meal really took its toll on his tummy.
“Yeah, sure, Sammy. Let me pay. Think you could wait just for a second and then we’ll get you a brand new stuffie?” Gabriel suggested, leading Sam to pay at the cash register.
“I guess. Should I get a bear, daddy? I think I might. Or maybe another animal. Snakes are cool, there’s this one stuffie that’s as long as you, daddy, and it’s a snake and you can wrap it around you and everything.” Sam rambled on and on about the different options - it was a very important decision, after all! He didn’t remember to be shy while Gabriel paid the cashier, even asking for an opinion because he had to make sure all his stuffies at home would appreciate his new friend.
Gabriel had never been prouder of Sam. It took him a while to open up like this and it only really ever happened when he was deep in his headspace but Sam’s always been shy with people other than Gabriel. This was new and it was wonderful, he's never been so happy for his little boy.
“Alright, Sammy, let’s go get your new stuffie.” Gabriel said, taking the bags and leading Sam outside of the store. He banished the bags to their house to save Sam further embarrassment and flew them to the toy store.
The toy store was a small one with very little people in it. Sam was grateful, people didn’t know he was a little boy at stores like this, it was always scary when they looked at him weird because he called Gabriel daddy. Here, Sam clung to Gabriel’s hand desperately, refusing to let him go. He huffed a little, squaring his shoulders as he looked at the stuffies. He was a little boy and little boys needed their daddy, there was nothing wrong with being little so anybody could just go away and be mean somewhere else.
“Alright, Sammy, you’re fine. Look, stuffies. Why don’t you pick one?” Gabriel said softly to coax Sam out of the little pout he managed to find himself in. It seemed his little one was going to be very cranky very soon if he didn’t get some food in him and put him down for a nap. Sam's schedule at the house was pretty much routine by now, it was breakfast, lunch, nap, snack, then dinner with playing in between meals. When the schedule wasn't followed, Sam got beyond grouchy and Gabriel had to remind himself that his little boy was just tired or hungry and not deliberately disobeying. Despite the reminder, Sam more often than not found himself in time out or with a sore butt because of how rude he could get when he was cranky.
Sam furrowed his brows in concentration, trying to weigh out the pros and cons of each stuffed animal on the shelves. There were so many! There were bears and snakes and more bears and giraffes and koalas and everything. Finally, he chose one. It was a perfect bear to hug, it was soft and even had flannel pajamas! He loved it, it was absolutely perfect!
“This one.” He said, hugging the bear as tight as he could with one arm while the other clutched at Gabriel still.
“Alright, Sammy, let me pay. Then we’ll get some lunch. Remember I promised you ice cream.” Gabriel reminded, tugging Sam’s reluctant form towards the cash register.
“What’re we gonna eat?” Sam asked tentatively, not risking being too loud in the small store.
“Well, what do you want, baby?” Gabe asked, tugging the tag off Sam’s bear for the cashier to scan so his baby didn’t have to let it go.
“Hmmm.” Sam murmured, tucking himself behind Gabriel as the cashier rang them up. “I dunno?” He shrugged quietly, burying his face into Gabriel’s back.
“Sammy, money isn’t a problem. How about Red Robin, instead?” Gabriel suggested firmly, paying for the teddy bear while the cashier smiled at them.
“Are you sure?” Sam asked anxiously, fingers tightening on Gabriel’s hand nervously.
“Of course I’m sure.” Gabriel insisted, tugging Sam towards the doors as soon as he was done. “It’s right down the street. Let’s walk. Don’t be shy, baby, you can have anything you want.”
Sam chewed on his lip, comforted with his teddy bear in his arm. He held on tight, walking just a step behind Gabriel in his reluctance but refusing to let his hand go.
“That sounds okay.” Sam agreed, finally catching up to Gabriel to lean into his side, tugging his daddy’s arm to rest over his shoulders. It was a little awkward, considering how tall Sam really was, but they made it work.
“Do you want a burger?” Gabriel asked, hugging Sammy close as they walked into the restaurant and were immediately seated.
“Ummmm. I don’t know.” Sam admitted, hugging his bear tighter as he tried not to give into the urge to suck his thumb. Thumbs were yucky, that’s why he had a paci. But they were still comforting and when he had no paci, his thumb was the next best thing.
“Alright, how about I order for you and you just color?” Gabriel suggested, flagging down their waitress. Luckily, Sam agreed and as soon as he had a kids menu in front of him, he went to coloring. Gabriel shook his head and turned to their waitress, getting Sam a kids meal of a burger and bottomless vegetables. Even in his little space, Sam loved to eat healthy, he just didn’t have an opposition to unhealthy things yet. He got himself a bacon burger with fries to share with Sam, with a water for himself and a milk for Sam.
Sam was rubbing his eyes by the time their food got there but his tummy made a loud sound at the smell of his food. He dropped the crayons and reached out for the burger, shooting Gabriel a grateful smile.
“Thank you, daddy.” He said happily, drowning the burger in ketchup before he took a bite.
“You’re welcome, Sammy. Do you still want to go to the bookstore after lunch?” Gabriel asked, hoping the ice cream he promised would give Sam a small sugar rush so they could get the book and go home so Sam could fall asleep in the comfort of their home.
“Mhm.” Sam nodded, taking a sip of his milk and making sure to swallow before he spoke. “I wanna look at the picture books. I want a new bedtime story.” He explained, using his fingers to eat his fresh veggies.
“Alright, kiddo. We’ll get one book, maybe two, then we’ll leave. I know somebody who needs his afternoon nap.” Gabriel said pointedly, taking a bite of a french fry.
“Noooo.” Sam whined, pouting at Gabriel. “No nap. I wanna stay up and play, daddy.”
“No you don’t. Because daddy has to do boring stuff while you nap and can’t play until you wake up. If you don’t go to sleep, you’ll have to do boring stuff with me.” Gabriel said easily, pointing a french fry at Sam, who only huffed.
“I don’t think anything you do is boring, daddy, you’re always exciting.” Sam grumbled, slouching in his seat as he ate.
“What about taxes? Tons of paperwork and math.” Gabriel said with clear disgust, though he really didn’t have to do anything while Sam slept. He was just trying to get the kid to disagree with him so he'd go to sleep without a fuss.
“I like numbers. I know all of them.” Sam insisted. “Papers are fun. I can help.”
“You can’t draw or write, Sammy, and you can’t get distracted and get your fingers icky.” Gabriel continued. “And it’s super hard math, with numbers up in the trillions. Do you know the trillions?”
Sam looked a little put out at that. Well, he didn’t know that many numbers. Why would people know that many numbers? He forlornly shook his head.
“But I- I can learn, daddy?” Sam offered weakly, knowing the battle was lost. How could he help with difficult stuff like that?
“Maybe when you’re older, buddy.” Gabriel agreed, smiling at Sam. “Thank you for wanting to help, though. I’d much rather if you took a nap, maybe I’ll even join you when I’m done.”
Sam’s eyes lit up and he finally smiled, nodding his agreement. He wouldn’t miss an opportunity to cuddle his daddy!
“Alright, daddy. That sounds like a deal.” He agreed, finishing his burger and taking a sip of his milk. “But I’m not tired.”
“Of course you’re not. That’s why we’ll read your brand new books until you are tired.” Gabriel reassured, leaning forward to wipe some ketchup off Sam’s lips, much to the chagrin of the boy.
“Daddy.” Sam whined, looking around to see if anybody had seen.
“What? If you weren’t so messy, I wouldn’t have to clean you like a mama cat, now, would I?” Gabe teased, easily polishing off his burger.
Sam grumbled under his breath, finishing his veggies with his eyes cast on the table. He frowned at the stupid tablecloth, kicking his feet so his shoes scuffed on the floor beneath him.
“Oh, Samuel, don’t get cranky with me.” Gabriel said with a roll of his eyes, gently whacking Sam’s head with the napkin.
“Why’d you hit me?” Sam asked in shock, though he had really barely felt it and it didn’t even hurt, his eyes filled with tears nonetheless.
“I didn't hit you, Sam, I whacked you. I whacked you because you’re being a brat and brats don’t get books. Or ice cream.” Gabe warned, pointing at Sam, making his little boy mutter and cross his arms after he swiped at his eyes. He might be sulking but at least he wasn’t talking back.
Gabriel watched Sam for a moment before sighing and flagging down a waitress to order his stubborn boy an ice cream sundae. It was a kids one, definitely smaller than what Sam would normally put down, but that was his punishment.
Sam finally lit up again, his eyes sparkling as he bounced his seat for his ice cream, his sulking completely forgotten. As soon as the waitress brought it to him, he was digging in, thoroughly covering his face and fingers in chocolate. He offered Gabriel a very sticky spoon and hardly any ice cream left but the hopeful look on Sam’s face had the archangel reaching out to take the last few bites. Of course, Gabe loved sweets, and he knew Sam was pretty much giving him the dregs of the ice cream as an apology, but he knew he had to accept it because Sam’s huge chocolatey smile was like watching the sun being made all over again.
“Alright. We’re done here, right?” Gabriel asked, throwing some bills on the table to cover their meal and leave a handsome tip for their waitress.
“Mhm! Bookstore!” Sam exclaimed, jumping up and reaching out for Gabe, locking his sticky fingers around Gabe’s hand.
Gabriel grimaced, looking down at their joined hands. He was by no means a germaphobe but he hated being sticky. It was just gross.
“No, no, let’s wash our hands first. And your face. We don’t want to ruin the books.” Gabriel said firmly, leading Sam to the bathroom.
“Ugh, daddy! I wanna go to the bookstore now!” Sam complained, this close to stomping his foot but he noticed somebody frowning at him as they neared the bathroom and he didn’t really want to be made fun of so he calmed down slightly. Slightly.
“Samuel. Rethink your tone with me before I take us straight home and put you to bed.” Gabriel threatened, his voice darkening at the possibility of a temper tantrum. He didn't care if people saw them, really, but he knew Sam did. Plus, he didn't want to deal with a temper tantrum. Sam was so stubborn, it took him forever to get over them.
Sam didn’t normally throw temper tantrums, though they’re much more frequent now than they were when they first started this relationship. Sam liked to test him and as the daddy, Gabriel gave punishments as he saw fit. But Sam just liked to push and push and push until Gabriel had to bring out the big guns. And a tired Sam? Boy, there was never, ever a creature more stubborn, and that’s coming from Gabriel, with Lucifer and Michael as brothers!
Sam huffed but he wisely shut his mouth. He was more of a hinderance when washing his hands and face, simply standing stiffly until Gabriel had to tug his hands under the faucet. And whenever Gabriel let go of his hands, Sam would simply let them drop, making Gabriel huff in frustration. But Gabe finally got Sam’s hands and face cleaned of the sticky substances before he quickly washed his own hands, deciding to just dry their hands with a flick of his fingers instead of the air thing or paper towels.
“Are you going to listen to me now, Sam?” Gabe asked, holding his hand out for Sam to take.
Sam pursed his lips but he had to be good now or else he’d really be taken home and he knew it. He nodded and slid his hand into Gabriel’s, using his other hand to sleepily rub at his eye.
“Good. I know I said two books but because of your bad attitude, we’ll have to make it one.” Gabriel said before they suddenly appeared in a large bookstore. The disappointed acceptance on Sam’s face and dejected slump of his shoulders made Gabriel nod in approval. At least he wouldn’t be fighting anymore for right now.
Sam clung to Gabriel’s hand, finally moving through the store to the children’s section. There were so many books! How could he only pick one? That wasn't fair! He squeezed his teddy bear tighter for comfort, frowning at the titles.
Gabriel simply pointed out a few titles that seemed interesting but Sam wanted his one book to be super extra special. Out of all the colorful books meant to entertain small children, there was one that was perfectly plain - just white with black words. Curious, Sam pointed to it.
“The Book With No Pictures. By B.J. Novak. Isn’t that Uncle Cas’ last name?” Sam asked curiously as Gabriel picked it up.
“Yeah, Sammy, it is. No relation, though. I don’t think.” Gabriel reassured, flicking through the book curiously. When he realized what it was, his face split into a wide grin. Oh yes. Sam would enjoy this book a lot.
“Does it seem good?” Sam asked warily, not wanting to spoil it for himself but curiously nonetheless.
“Oh yeah. I think you’ll love it. But since it has no pictures, how about you find one with cool pictures?” Gabe asked, his happy grin toning down into a warm smile when he saw the ecstatic shock on his boy’s face.
“Really? Oh thank you!” Sam exclaimed, immediately turning back to the wall of books. He easily picked one, another classic he had never read as a child, Where The Wild Things Are, and handed it to Gabe before he pressed into his daddy’s side to hug him.
“Good pick, Sammy.” Gabriel complimented, running his fingers through Sam’s messy hair as he let the boy cling to him while they walked to the cashier.
“Sorry I was cranky and mean, daddy.” Sam mumbled, his arms wrapped firmly around Gabriel’s waist.
“I know you are, Sammy. I know you’re just sleepy but there’s never ever an excuse to be rude, especially to me.” Gabriel reassured soothingly, setting the books down as he got out his wallet to pay.
As soon as they were done and out of sight, Gabriel snapped them back into Sam’s room. Setting the newly purchased books on the nightstand and Sam’s new stuffie on the bed, Gabe got to getting his boy dressed for bed. With all the excitement from the shopping trip, Sam had forgotten the original purpose of going shopping was anyways.
Until Gabriel laid him down in only a pajama top.
“Daddy?” Sam asked curiously, looking at Gabe from where he was laying on the bed. He had gotten over his initial embarrassment of being naked in front of his daddy a long time ago, it was only natural for his daddy to see him naked, how else would he get baths? But this had never happened before.
“Hold on a second Sammy, just wanna make sure you have no accidents, is all.” Gabriel reassured soothingly, patting Sam’s hips so he’d lift them up. He slid a diaper under Sam’s butt and thoroughly coated his skin with baby powder before fastening it.
It was the strangest thing Sam’s ever felt in his life. He couldn’t help but squirm in discomfort at the extra attention… down there. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to use his diapers just yet, ‘cause of how weird this is feeling right now and how he’d have to get used to it.
But then Gabe fastened the diaper and his whole body relaxed. It was like a snug security blanket, keeping him swaddled and safe. Furrowing his brow a little, Sam wiggled, blushing at the crinkling sounds it made but it stayed on nice and snug! If he had an accident, there’d be no mess and it’d be okay! He looked down at it, poking the funny looking thing with a big smile.
Not commenting on the pure joy radiating from Sam’s soul, Gabriel simply rubbed Sam’s thighs soothingly before he pulled on some comfy pajama bottoms.
“All dressed for bed, Sammy, let’s get you tucked in so I can read you one of your books.” Gabriel said, watching in amusement as Sam scrambled under the covers.
“Which one are we gonna read, daddy?” Sam asked, holding onto his new teddy to snuggle as Gabriel tucked him in.
“I think we’ll read Where The Wild Things Are for right now, Sammy. The other one isn’t much of a bedtime story.” Gabriel explained, lying above the covers next to Sam with the book. He let out a little sigh when Sam immediately sprawled atop him, arms hugging his waist and legs pushing under his own beneath the blanket. He’d never get out of bed without waking Sam and the brat probably knew it, too. Oh well, he wasn’t going to tell Sam he couldn’t snuggle his daddy. Dad knows John never snuggled Sam to sleep.
“Daddy, can I have my new paci?” Sam whispered once he was comfortable, nuzzling his face into the soft fabric of Gabe’s shirt on his tummy.
Rolling his eyes, Gabriel snapped, the pacifier appearing in his hand. He was glad he had angel mojo otherwise he’d never have been able to get out from under Sam to get his paci without a whole lot of tears.
“Here, Sammy. Winnie the Pooh, just for you.” Gabe said softly, smiling when Sam giggled at his little rhyme. As soon as Sam was suckling on it, his eyes became half lidded, soothed just from the familiar sensation.
Opening the book, Gabriel began to read, voices and all. It was a longer book but Sam didn’t seem to mind, intently watching the pictures until his eyes fell shut halfway through, his mouth going slightly slack on the pacifier as he fell asleep. Gabriel knew better than to risk it, every time he tried to get away with not finishing the book, Sam always woke up and complained. So, Gabriel continued reading, softening his voice ever slightly as he finished the book. Carefully, he set it down on the nightstand, looking down at the little boy sleeping on his stomach.
Sam’s eyes were closed peacefully, his pretty lashes fluttering on his cheeks every so often before he relaxed again. Occasionally, he would give a soft suckle to the pacifier before stilling once more. The funny thing was, as deep in sleep as the boy was, his hands remained an iron grip on Gabe’s shirt to ensure he didn’t move.
He didn’t have to worry, of course, Gabriel would never willingly leave Sam unless he had something he had to do. Sometimes, he read on the couch, sometimes he checked on his investments, but most of the time, he just liked to watch his human sleep. He never needed to, though he definitely slept when cuddling Sam just because it was really comfortable, okay? But when Sam was like this, little and sweet, Gabe couldn’t help but watch entranced and play with his soft hair.
Sam was a big guy. He was tall and he had a lot of muscles that Gabriel loved to touch when he was big. He had a sharp face and killer bone structure that pretty much every sexually awakened creature noticed. People saw how sexy and rugged Sam could look, few people saw how sweet he could be, and nobody but Gabriel got to see how innocent and loving he was when he was like this.
There was this unwavering faith, an innocent trust and love for Gabriel that Sam had when he was little. ‘Daddy loves me and won’t let me get hurt’ is pretty much all of little Sam’s mindset when it comes to Gabriel. As an adult again, Sam had issues, and who wouldn’t, what with Sam went through. What Gabriel caused.
Mystery spot, changing channels, pretty much always being an asshole. It was amazing Sam didn’t want to punch him in the face every time he saw him. But to put so much faith into Gabriel to take care of him in such a vulnerable state, it always made Gabriel feel like he wasn’t worthy. How did he get so lucky to have such an amazing guy in his life? He was so perfect and sweet and hed never ask for anything else as long as he lived. It’s almost like Dad forgave him for everything he had done wrong and gave him this perfect present, even though he didn’t deserve it.
But when Sam’s sleepy eyes fluttered open over an hour later, and his face broke into this innocent happiness as soon as he saw Gabriel, he knew Sam forgave him for everything and loved him no matter what.
“Daddy?” Sam mumbled around his paci, rubbing the grit and sleep out of his eyes.
“Yeah, munchkin?” Gabe asked softly, still running his fingers through Sam’s hair. He had been doing it the whole time Sam had been asleep so now the soft strands were sticking every which way, making his tired boy look even younger.
“Gotta go potty.” Sam complained, burrowing deeper into Gabriel’s tummy, thoroughly content to go back to sleep and cuddle his daddy. But the aching pain in his tummy made that impossible.
“Then go, handsome. Remember? You got your diaper on.” Gabriel reminded gently, not trying to pressure Sam but just wanting him to know it was an option. He was comfortable, too, and he really didn't want Sam to try and reject the diaper after everything they went through for it. He quickly pretended to be sleeping, too, so Sam could try and work it out by himself.
Sam stiffened a little at the reminder and cautiously reached down to touch the crinkly fabric. He chewed on his pacifier a little, nervous about the idea of actually using it. Wearing it was comfortable, it was reassuring, it was nice, but actually going pee in it?! It was kind of scary. What if he made a mess? What if it made his daddy think he was yucky?
Cracking his eyes open, he peeked up at Gabriel but the angel wasn’t really paying much attention to him. In fact, his daddy seemed to be sleeping, his eyes were shut and there was a really small smile on his lips.
His big mind said no, you’re a big boy, you don’t need someone changing your gross diaper. But his little mind was begging to go, to release and just be taken care of. It was something he shouldn’t have to worry about, it was just another way of giving up control to his daddy and that was okay. He was allowed. He was allowed to do this and Gabriel encouraged it. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have suggested it, right?
Sam whimpered softly, curling up into a tight ball as his tummy started to ache painfully the longer he refused to go. He quickly tried to sit up but Gabriel held him back, hugging his shoulders so he couldn’t leave the bed. His pacifier fell out of his mouth as his breathing started to quicken when he realized he wouldn’t be able to hold it anymore. He clutched at Gabe’s forearms, his blunt little nails drawing blood as he squeezed his arm tightly. Finally, his bladder had enough and he let go, a soft hiccup leaving his lips as he went to the potty in his diaper.
But, it didn’t make him feel gross like he thought it would. The diaper did its job and absorbed every drop, not even making him feel wet, just slightly damp. He shuddered and relaxed back onto Gabe, looking up at his daddy to make sure he wasn’t upset, but Gabriel remained oblivious to the situation.
Letting out a relieved sigh, Sam shut his eyes again, his grip loosening ever so slightly on Gabe’s arm as he cuddled back into his tummy. It was a weird feeling but an extremely freeing one, one he wouldn’t be able to explain if anybody asked. But all the stress had been for nothing, especially now that it was over and done with. He wasn’t sleepy anymore and he didn’t want the diaper to get uncomfortable so he shook Gabe’s arm a little.
“Daddy? Daddy?” He whispered, a blush on his cheeks.
Gabriel finally looked down at Sam, trying not to smile too big. His boy was still nervous and scared about this new advancement in their relationship but he had never ever been prouder of Sam. He had felt the utter relief from his boy as soon as he let go and he knew that this was going to be a permanent part of their relationship now. How could it not, what with how happy it made Sam?
“Yeah, munchkin?” He asked, still feigning sleep as he yawned.
“I- I um, I had an accident.” Sam admitted, ducking his head in embarrassment.
“Oh you did? That’s alright. Let’s get that taken care of.” Gabe suggested, finally letting go of Sam to shift away from him. He stood up and got a fresh diaper, wipes, and baby powder. He easily pulled the blanket away from Sam and tugged his pants off to get to the full diaper.
“Is okay?” Sam asked warily, not even resisting as Gabriel moved him all around, just laying limply as he played with his teddy bear.
“Definitely okay. You’re my baby boy, don’t worry, Sammy.” Gabriel reassured, tugging the diaper off and starting to get Sam cleaned up. “Why don’t you tell me what you wanna do for the rest of the day?”
“Uhhh how ‘bout pretend?” Sam suggested, relaxing as he thought about the day. “Then movies. And dinner. Mac and cheese, please. And then I wanna hear my other new book.”
“That sounds perfect to me, munchkin.” Gabriel agreed, setting the soiled diaper and wipes aside as he started getting the new diaper onto Sam’s bottom. “What do you wanna pretend?”
“Dragons!” Sam exclaimed, scrunching his nose at the baby powder but he quickly got over it as the diaper was fastened. As soon as it was on, he jumped up and onto his daddy, giving him a giant hug. “Thank you, daddy. I love you.”
Gabriel was surprised by the sudden movement, Sam’s pants in his hands but he dropped them to hug his little boy back. He smiled and squeezed Sam tightly, his stomach tightening with pure love for the boy.
“You’re welcome, Sammy. I love you, too.” Gabriel murmured into his hair, pressing multiple kisses to his scalp. “No pants today, then?” He asked teasingly, already standing up with Sam clinging to him like a sloth.
“Nope!” Sam giggled, resting his head on Gabriel’s shoulder, smiling so wide his cheeks hurt. It was a good day.