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The building before Ai was grand and imposing, all white, smooth brick and gleaming glass windows that reflected and scattered the sun everywhere. Ai shielded his eyes from the glare before sighing and adjusting the strap of his backpack that hung over his shoulder. He took two steps forward before stopping when someone called his name.
“Somkiat!” Ai exclaimed. He hadn’t expected one of his greatest friends (and his long-term crush) to be at the Sun & Moon survival show building. Somkiat stopped before him and immediately pulled Ai into a hug. Ai melted into it, sighing softly as he recognised his friend’s familiar cologne. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m here to compete. Are you?” Somkiat asked. Ai’s eyes widened momentarily before he blushed and ducked his head, gnawing at his lower lip. “I’ll take that as a yes then,” Somkiat said with a fond chuckle. Ai lifted his head and nodded, a wide smile on his face. There was no point being embarrassed if Somkiat was there for the exact same reason, after all.
“Are you excited? Because honestly,” Ai looked around before dropping his voice to a faux whisper, “I’m terrified.” Somkiat chuckled and threw his arm around Ai’s shoulders, tugging him into his side as the two of them walked towards the entrance.
“It’ll be wonderful, I’m sure!” Somkiat exclaimed. Ai sighed and shook his head. He didn’t understand how Somkiat was so cheerful all the time. Ai felt anxiety form thick and heavy in his gut, and he wanted nothing more than to turn around and run away. But he’d devoted too much time and money into this endeavour, and he refused to throw it all away now.
With one deep, shaking breath, Ai stared at his home for the next month, at the place that would ultimately make or break his future. He turned to face Somkiat, shooting the older man what he hoped was a reassuring smile, before turning towards the building once more.
He just had to take a chance.
- ☼ -
The halls were abuzz with noise, twenty men all chatting and exchanging names, details, fun facts and their plans for the competition. aespa’s Sun and Moon filled the rest of the silence, the song each contestant had to audition with, the song that they’d have to all perform together the following day, the soundtrack to the whole competition.
Somkiat was amongst the hectic chaos of the hallway, trailing after Ai like a shadow. His brain had failed him, the Korean language melting on his tongue whenever he tried to speak it. He only seemed to have English and Thai on his side.
“Oh, Somkiat, I see someone I know! Shall we go say hi?” Ai asked. Somkiat gulped but nodded nonetheless. Ai frowned and turned to face Somkiat, his adorable face twisted with concern. “Are you okay?”
“Language. It’s, I…” Somkiat grimaced. It seemed like every language was failing him now. Ai let out a small noise of understanding before smiling and linking their fingers together. Somkiat blushed slightly but didn’t pull away. He squeezed Ai’s hand in a desperate attempt to reassure himself. “Don’t worry, Fermin speaks English.”
“Oh, thank god,” Somkiat muttered. Ai giggled softly before leading Somkiat over, the other man perking up when he saw Ai and Somkiat approaching. They stopped in front of him and Ai pulled his hand away from Somkiat’s, instead lacing his arms around the guy’s neck as they hugged, quick and brief.
“Fermin, this is Somkiat. Somkiat, Fermin,” Ai said. Somkiat smiled and shook Fermin’s hand before stepping back and allowing the two friends to reconnect. He felt a tiny bit like a third wheel, but he wasn’t sure what to say or do. He couldn’t interrupt the two of them, so he just had to wait, bide his time.
Hands clamped down on his shoulders and Somkiat twirled around, coming face to face with Pedro Acosta, a sort-of friend, sort-of acquaintance of his. “Pedro, hi!” Somkiat greeted, smiling wide. Pedro nodded in response before he spotted the other two men, and he frowned.
“What are you doing here?” Pedro spat. Somkiat watched as Fermin’s bright expression darkened, his smile dropping into a snarl. Somkiat stepped back slightly, hand searching for Ai’s. He leant in closer, dropping his voice to a whisper.
“Do these two have a history I’m unaware of?” Somkiat asked. Ai shrugged.
“I’ve never met Pedro before,” Ai said and Somkiat couldn’t help but giggle. “What?”
“It’s funny that we know each other and those two know each other, but we didn’t all know each other as a solid four,” Somkiat said. Ai giggled along with him and soon the two were collapsing against the wall, laughter wracking their frames.
“You know what would be even funnier?” Ai said once he’d managed to get some air back into his lungs. Somkiat hummed, signalling for Ai to continue. “If we end up as the final group,” Ai whispered. Somkiat’s eyes widened, and he turned to face Ai, staring at the delicate features that made up his face.
God, he was beautiful.
“That’d be amazing…”
- ☼ -
Ai sighed wearily and adjusted his clothes once more. The white shorts were fine, but the half-zipped hoodie kept slipping from his shoulder and it was bothering him greatly. At least he wasn’t shirtless underneath. That was the only thing that Ai could determine would make the situation worse.
“You ready?” It was Fermin, his own outfit a near mirror copy of Ai’s. “It’s a shame we don’t have Somkiat in this group,” Fermin continued. Ai frowned at that reminder. He wanted to be in the same group as Somkiat, wanted to perform by his side and dazzle the crowd together. But alas, of their little newly formed quartet, Somkiat was the only one relegated to group two.
“We’ll have to cheer him on later,” Ai said determinedly. Fermin smiled before turning towards the door as it opened. Pedro slipped through, his cheeks splotchy with redness. He was hunched over, and his fingers were fiddling with the hem of his… skirt. Pedro was wearing a skirt.
Fermin made an odd noise in the back of his throat and turned away, his own cheeks tinting red. Ai bit back a chuckle before crossing to Pedro. The younger man whined as Ai got closer but didn’t try and put any distance between them.
“Shit’s embarrassing,” Pedro mumbled. Ai took in Pedro’s outfit. It suited him really well, the pleats of the white skirt accentuating his legs and the hoodie fit across his shoulders perfectly. It looked better than Ai’s outfit did, that was for sure.
“It looks good, but like… did they run out of shorts or something?” Ai asked. Fermin made another noise and Pedro glared at his back before sighing and shaking his head, lower lip caught between his teeth. Ai understood what was happening immediately. “You wanted to wear a skirt, didn’t you?”
Pedro nodded mutely and Ai smiled to himself. Fermin had turned at the silence, his eyes wide as he took in Pedro’s appearance. “You, um, look good,” Fermin muttered. Pedro snarled at him and leant forward, hiding his face against Ai’s shoulder.
“It’s true,” Ai said with a chuckle. He wrapped his arms around Pedro’s shoulders and rubbed up and down his back, careful not to rumple the clothing too much. The last thing they needed was to be yelled at by production because they messed up their appearances.
“I just wanted to fully replicate the original outfits SNSD wore, you know?” Pedro muttered. Ai huffed out a breath of laughter and pulled Pedro from his hiding spot. He swept his gaze over Pedro’s outfit once more before nodding resolutely.
“I think you nailed it.”
- ☼ -
Somkiat’s hands shook as he walked onto the stage, the rest of his group surrounding him. Already one person had been eliminated and whilst it hadn’t been Ai, Fermin or Pedro, Somkiat was still afraid it’d be them one day. Or him. There was still an elimination from his group yet to come, after all. As well as their performance.
God, their performance.
When Somkiat had first found out they’d be performing to Tell Me by Wonder Girls, he’d been excited. And then he’d seen the outfits and almost wanted to run away from the Sun & Moon building and forget he’d ever auditioned.
Hideously garish shades of orange and pink, layered with white and black. Somkiat’s outfit wasn’t the worst in his group, but it wasn’t exactly something he was obsessed with either. An orange shirt with a white vest layered over the top, accompanied by white trousers and a black half-skirt.
And then there was the manner of his pronunciation. Somkiat still hadn’t nailed some of the Korean words he’d need to say. Thankfully it wasn’t many, but with the ruthless efficiency he’d seen during the first elimination, Somkiat wanted to be perfect.
Smoothing over his half-skirt once more, Somkiat stared out at the waiting crowd. His eyes widened when he spotted the other group, Ai, Fermin and Pedro all waving at him excitedly. He flashed them a bright smile and felt a newfound confidence surge in his gut.
He could do this. He could.
--
Somkiat couldn’t lift his head, couldn’t open his eyes, couldn’t release his lip from between his teeth. He was absolutely terrified that his name was the one about to be called. He couldn’t be eliminated, not now, not yet. He had more to show off, more to do. He needed to prove that he was meant to be here but right then and there, Somkiat had no idea what to do.
A name was called. It wasn’t his. Somkiat breathed a sigh of relief, and he was sure everyone else in his group had done the same. He lifted his head up, meeting Ai’s gaze. Ai smiled and lifted his hands up, showing how they shook. He mouthed a small ‘thank fuck’ and Somkiat had to bite his lower lip again to muffle his laughter.
Thank fuck indeed.
- ☼ -
Ai knew the song was ending soon, but he’d never been more grateful to stop performing. His limbs still ached from performing Into the New World, and Miroh wasn’t exactly a forgiving choreography either. Flashing lights and the neon colour of his team’s clothing was causing him to develop a headache, and Ai swore he was going to vomit soon if he wasn’t careful.
Thankfully there was no other performances for him to do that week. Just practice, practice, practice. The next week’s theme was Japanese music and Ai honestly loved both of the songs he’d be performing.
And he was in the same group as Somkiat. He was almost too excited about that.
Fermin stepped forward to the front of the stage, the rest of the group rallying around him as he finished out the song, his tall posture and faint blonde hair captivating the audience. Girls screamed out as the song finished, everyone freezing in their finishing positions.
Applause flooded the performance hall and everyone relaxed, Ai dropping to his knees. Pedro was at his side seconds later, curling an arm around Ai’s waist as he helped him to stand. The two of them walked towards the front of the stage, lining up alongside the rest of their teammates.
“You did amazing,” Pedro whispered to him. Ai smiled and lightly nudged Pedro’s ribs, a sign that he agreed. He could barely get enough air in his lungs to breathe, let alone respond to Pedro’s rare compliment.
“Fermin Aldeguer, please step forward,” one of the judges called. Ai and Pedro’s heads snapped up in sync. Fermin had been the shining star of their performance! How was he being eliminated? Pedro started muttering no under his breath, over and over, until the judge spoke once more. “You delivered an outstanding performance today, greater than we expected, therefore we grant you an immunity for the next elimination. You may return to your place.” Fermin sighed in relief and stepped back, wiping the moisture from his eyes. Ai melted into Pedro’s hold, glad to know that Fermin was safe.
Him and Pedro still weren’t.
“For our elimination…” the judge started. The name they called wasn’t Ai Ogura or Pedro Acosta and Ai muttered a small ‘fuck’ under his breath that had Pedro huffing in agreement. He leant in closer, his mouth near Ai’s ear.
“This shit is traumatising.” Ai nodded in agreement. He wouldn’t be surprised if he found grey hairs in amidst his black strands after this whole ordeal was over.
- ☼ -
Somkiat beamed as he stepped off the stage. A successful performance of In Bloom tucked under his belt and an immunity against elimination. He was on cloud nine, and it was only bolstered by Ai’s sudden appearance at his side. He was still clad in his black and neon outfit and Somkiat couldn’t help but laugh.
“What’s funny?” Ai asked, chuckling awkwardly. Somkiat tugged Ai in before guiding him over to the mirror that stood in the small changing room. He stood by Ai’s side and stared at their contrasting outfits once more, another bout of laughter falling from his lips.
“We look like total opposites, have you noticed that?” Somkiat said. He gestured to his outfit before gesturing to Ai’s. “My outfit is all light and pastel, whereas yours is dark and neon,” Somkiat explained. Ai made a noise of understanding before giggling and tugging at the hem of Somkiat’s shirt. He held it to his own shirt, and it was Somkiat’s turn to be confused at that.
“Orange and blue are complimentary colours. We really do match,” Ai said. He turned and smiled up at Somkiat, his eyes crinkled and his teeth on display. Somkiat’s mouth dried immediately, and he swallowed sharply, turning his gaze away before he did something stupid like kissing Ai. That wouldn’t be a good idea.
“I guess we do…” he muttered half-heartedly. If Ai noticed something was off, he didn’t say anything, and Somkiat took the chance to pull away, hastily mumbling something about checking in on his eliminated teammate before he took off.
Somkiat couldn’t be falling in love like this.
- ☼ -
The first notes of the song started, and Ai prepared himself. He lifted his head and raised his arms in time to the music, the choreography Somkiat had prepared taking over him. They’d practiced it until it was perfect and even though it sucked not having Pedro in the group with them, Ai was still glad he wasn’t alone. He had Somkiat and Fermin, and he knew Pedro supported them despite the grouping differences.
Ai continued through the song, black laces gloves tickling his fingers. The strips of lace on the hems of his clothes swirled and rippled with each movement, and Ai was entranced by it all. The whole group seemed to move in sync, and Ai knew that was thanks to Somkiat’s ruthless efficiency in the dance studio.
Raising his voice alongside Fermin’s, the two of them belted the lyrics before Ai dropped his voice to a whisper, the music quiet around him before it peaked into a crescendo once more, Somkiat taking over at the front. The choreography looked exquisite when he performed it, even more so when Ai slipped his hand into Somkiat’s for the higher note he had to hit.
The song trailed off around them and Ai sunk to his knees, arms held above his head by Somkiat’s fingers, the digits curled around his wrists. The crowd broke out into an applause and Ai panted softly, dropping his hands from Somkiat’s grip. Somkiat helped him to stand, and Fermin appeared on his other side, the three of them standing in the middle of the stage.
“Ai Ogura, please step forward,” one of the judges called. Ai took a deep breath and stepped forward. He wasn’t sure if the immunity granting was a one-time thing or not. He wasn’t sure if he was about to be eliminated or not. He really hoped not. He’d poured his whole heart and soul into that performance and to be eliminated during the week of Japanese language performances… it made him ache.
“You performed wonderfully out there today, and have been granted immunity for tomorrow’s performance,” a second judge said. Ai cried out in relief and thanked the judges before stepping backwards, safely nestled between Fermin and Somkiat once more.
The judges moved onto the eliminated but Ai didn’t pay attention. Fermin and Somkiat both had immunity. It was group two and Pedro he had to worry about. He refused to debut with anyone other than his chosen three. He knew he had no sway over that, but Ai was more territorial over his friends (over Somkiat) than he had any right to be.
Ai slipped his hand into Somkiat’s and squeezed, smiling imperceptibly when Somkiat responded without hesitation. He still had Somkiat. They were still together.
But he still wanted more.
- ☼ -
Somkiat gasped when he saw Pedro, immediately slapping at Ai’s thigh to get his attention. Ai turned to him, eyebrows furrowed as confusion sprawled across his face. “What is it?” Ai whispered. Somkiat snuck a glance at Fermin, the younger man distracted by his phone, before he pointed at Pedro.
“Look at Pedro’s outfit. Fermin’s gonna freak,” Somkiat muttered in response. Ai turned his head before his breath hitched, his eyes widening. He muttered the word ‘short’ and Somkiat giggled lightly. “It is very short.”
“What’s very short?” Fermin said, his attention turned towards Somkiat and Ai once more. Somkiat smirked in spite of himself before pointing towards the stage. He watched as Fermin followed his finger, a crimson blush soaking his face when he spotted Pedro’s outfit. “Oh, holy fuck.”
“Are you glad you aren’t wearing a skirt yourself right now? Your boner would be difficult to hide otherwise,” Ai said with a muffled giggle. Fermin made a noise in the back of his throat, and he punched at Ai’s arm, the older man letting out a small ‘ow’ in response as he rubbed at the reddened skin.
“Deserved,” Fermin muttered. Somkiat went to respond when the lights turned off signalling the start of Pedro’s group’s performance. The three of them settled in and prepared themselves for something invigorating.
With Pedro involved, it was bound to be.
--
“Pedro Acosta, you have been granted immunity due to a brilliant performance of f5ve’s Underground,” one of the judges said. Fermin sighed in relief and melted into his seat, his body slipping forward and legs widening as he relaxed. Somkiat chuckled and turned to Ai, shocked to find that he was crying.
“Ai? What’s wrong?” Somkiat whispered. Ai shook his head and wiped at his eyes before chuckling wetly. He met Somkiat’s gaze, love and admiration swirling in his tear-soaked eyes.
“We’re all together still,” Ai said. Somkiat’s breath hitched, and his heart stuttered, missing a beat. He smiled and shook his head.
“You scared me.”
“Sorry,” Ai said, an apologetic smile on his face. Somkiat batted his hand through the air, dismissing the apology. He pulled Ai into a quick hug before pulling away and smiling at Ai’s damp face.
“Don’t be sorry. I’m glad we’re all together too.”
- ☼ -
Ai let the varsity jacket fall from his shoulders as the Psychic Fever song ended. He panted sharply but a wide smile still graced his lips, and he knew he was safe. Fermin and Somkiat weren’t, but Ai was too distracted by the adrenaline in his veins, the happiness he felt over his performance settled deep within him.
As the crowd applauded, Ai stood up and linked his fingers with Somkiat’s, holding Fermin’s hand with his other. The judges smiled at them before they took on an apologetic edge. “There are no immunities being handed out for this performance.” Ai’s breath caught in his throat.
A second judge leant forward, calling out a name for elimination. Ai was safe, and neither Somkiat nor Fermin’s names had been called so Ai relaxed partially. Safe. Safesafesafe. Just Pedro’s performance left, and he had immunity, so he was fine. They were all fine. All Ai had to do now was focus on next week’s performances.
He ignored the fact that the boy group song was by next week’s guest judges. That was a fear he could cope with later. He didn’t have time to focus on it now.
Exiting the stage, Ai watched as Fermin slipped away, crossing over to a pacing Pedro. He was biting at his nails even though they were already stubby and short, and Ai frowned. He nudged Somkiat’s side before gesturing with his head towards Fermin and Pedro.
Somkiat shook his head. “Leave them be. Maybe they’ll fix their shit if we leave ‘em,” Somkiat said. Ai giggled softly and carried on walking, his fingers still firmly linked with Somkiat’s. They’d made it through to another week.
Ai felt blessed.
- ☼ -
Somkiat was overawed by the transformation the stage had undertaken. Pirate ship sails and rigging decorated the ceiling, and a fake ocean had been erected out of lace and other gauzy fabrics, billowed around by small fans. Pedro was dressed head to toe in layers upon layers of red, a gaudy eyepatch over his left eye.
Pedro had adapted to being the leader of the second group very well and Somkiat admired him. He looked very handsome, and he could tell it was affectioning Fermin if the younger man’s constant shifting and adjusting was anything to go by. Somkiat could tell it was also affecting Ai, but only because he seemed genuinely annoyed by Fermin’s constantly fidgeting.
“Will you go to the bathroom and jerk off already, or will you stop fucking moving?” Ai hissed as the first notes of the song filled the performance hall. Somkiat coughed out a laugh, pressing the sleeve of his varsity jacket to his mouth to muffle his sounds as Fermin blushed crimson.
“S-shut up.”
--
The performance came to an end and Somkiat stood up, applauding and cheering loudly. Pedro had been spectacular, and even if he hadn’t been blessed with immunity, Somkiat knew Pedro would’ve made it through. He was brilliant.
Pedro smiled and bowed at him before Somkiat finally sat down, excitement flooding through his veins. He leant towards Ai, dropping his voice to a whisper. “We’re all safe.” Ai shot him a soft smile.
“All safe.”
- ☼ -
The Chinese words felt unfamiliar on his tongue, but Ai still strove to pronounce them as correctly as he could. One mispronunciation and he was saying something heinous, he was sure.
The group’s blue and silver suits glimmered under the lights as they sang in sync, their choreography sharp and pronounced. Ai felt out of sorts being alone, and he understood how Somkiat and Pedro had felt in the first two groupings. It was weird. He was envious of them being all together for that week.
Ai smiled as he stepped to the front of the group, his voice ringing across the arena as he sang. Singing was his specialty, but the choreography was harder for him to comprehend. Dancing was Somkiat’s thing, and Ai wished he’d been taught it under Somkiat’s capable hands.
Love Trip was a longer song than anything he’d performed so far, and Ai had to fight to ensure he didn’t overspend his stamina. If he burnt out now, it’ll leave him weaker than ever for the boy group performance, and that was the one song Ai didn’t want to fuck up on.
As the song came to an end, Ai froze in his ending position and breathed sharply. His lungs ached and he wanted to sit down and gulp half a bottle of water. But first, he had to get through the eliminations. No one had immunity this week, and whilst they could get it for the boy group performance they had to do tomorrow, that was the last time. No one would be getting immunity for the finals.
Ai waited, lips pressed together, and eyes closed as he waited to hear the name. All he wanted was to be safe. It felt cruel to wish for one of his group mates to be eliminated, but he knew he had to be selfish to ensure his success.
A name was called. It wasn’t his. Ai snapped his eyes open and immediately searched for Somkiat in the crowd before realising he wouldn’t be there. He’d be backstage, preparing for his own performance. Ai swallowed thickly, bitterly, and turned to the stands.
Somkiat was there, a wide smile on his face. He blew Ai a kiss before pulling a face and mouthing a ‘sorry’ before disappearing. Ai smiled to himself. He was safe, and he was positive Somkiat, Fermin and Pedro would be safe too.
Relief. Sweet, sweet relief.
- ☼ -
Somkiat kept sneaking glances over at Fermin and Pedro. They were sneaking glances at each other as the song continued on. Somkiat knew the lyrics rang true to them (once he’d translated them from Thai to English for the group, that was), but it still unnerved him how upset and emotional they seemed.
As the song ended and the crowd started applauding, Somkiat beelined over to them, hand slipping into Pedro’s before gesturing for Pedro to do the same with Fermin. A smile crossed his face as the two held hands, fingers weakly linked together.
“We’ll all be safe, I’m positive,” Somkiat whispered. Pedro hummed distractedly, his cheeks pink, before he started smoothing out his puffy white skirt with the hand that Somkiat was holding.
“Safe.”
A judge called a name and Somkiat sighed in relief as his brain sluggishly processed that it wasn’t any of theirs. There was no immunity this week, and whilst it sucked that someone who had worked so hard had been eliminated, Somkiat couldn’t bring himself to care.
Looking up into the crowd, Somkiat spotted Ai. He winked and smirked, butterflies flitting in his stomach when Ai blushed and smiled at him sweetly.
He was ready to win with his friends. He so was.
- ☼ -
The heavy beat pounded through Ai’s veins as he took up his starting position. For once, he wasn’t starting the song, and he welcomed the reprieve on his vocal cords. He’d pushed them further than ever over the past couple weeks, and he was glad the song was a bit less vocal heavy.
Ai could see the members of &TEAM watching him from the judging panel and he put his all into performing. He needed to impress them, needed to show that he deserved one of the coveted six spots in the final.
The bomb that had been dropped that morning had ricocheted throughout the remaining ten competitors, spurring them all on and pushing them to perform as best as they could. It wasn’t to be one elimination after each group, it’d be two.
With no immunity, no one was safe. Ai knew that much. The song rose up around him and Ai pushed even harder. He had to get to the finals. He had to. He already knew Somkiat would, along with Fermin and Pedro, but he wasn’t so sure about himself. He didn’t fit the harder concepts, but he would try as hard as he could until he did.
The song came to an end and Ai took a shaky deep breath, tears pricking his eyes. He didn’t think he’d done enough. He was going to be eliminated, he was sure. He couldn’t focus on anything but the judges, the names they called.
One and two. Ai gasped. He’d made it into the finals. His eyes were wide, and he looked at his two remaining groupmates. They were both crying too, and the three fell into a hug together. Ai was stunned. He could hardly breathe.
Debuting was so close, yet so far. Ai had so much work left to do but, in that moment, Ai let himself relax and celebrate, proud of himself for surviving so long. One last performance, a solo one at that, stood between himself and his much-desired debut.
Ai wouldn’t let anything stop him.
- ☼ -
Fermin’s voice rang through the performance hall as he started the song, the Korean words thick and accented on his tongue. Somkiat stepped up after him, eyes fixed on Ai as he sang his lines. Ai blushed and looked away, pulling a soft smile from Somkiat.
Focusing on the performance once more, Somkiat put his all into it, ensuring he captured &TEAM’s attention. He wasn’t going to be eliminated. Not now. Not only had he worked too hard to lose it all now, but he wasn’t going to let Ai succeed without him. It was too possessive for Somkiat to normally handle, but there was something about Ai that made Somkiat want to follow in his footsteps, made him want to trail after him each and every day for the remainder of his life.
The word love blossomed unbidden on Somkiat’s tongue, and he swallowed it down. Not now. Somkiat could unpack that later. He had a position in the final to secure, for Christ’s sake.
--
Pedro was sobbing, Fermin wasn’t much better, and Somkiat was just laughing as he held the two boys in his arms. All three of them had made it to the finals, and it’d been a flood of tears since. Even Ai was crying up in the stands, the faint traces of mascara from his lashes streaking weak lines of black down his skin.
Somkiat blew Ai a kiss before pressing kisses to Fermin and Pedro’s heads. “We did it,” he said. Pedro wailed again and Fermin sniffled weakly.
“We’ll debut together, won’t we?” Fermin asked. Somkiat smiled sweetly but shrugged his shoulders. He had no way to tell if they would, he had no idea what they’d all planned for their final, solo performances. He’d just have to hold onto hope, hold onto the knowledge that the four of them were some of the best throughout the entire show. He turned and met Ai’s gaze once more before smiling.
“I hope so.”
- ☼ -
Ai closed his eyes and took a deep breath as the music started playing, a familiar rhythm building up around him. He’d practiced the song nonstop, the words falling from his lips easily as he started singing. The microphone before him amplified his voice and Ai hoped Somkiat knew Ai was singing for him, to him.
He melded his voice into something sultry and smooth, reminiscent of the original tone in which Baekhyun had sung the song. UN Village was one of Ai’s comfort songs and when he’d discovered that finalists had to sing a solo song, Ai hadn’t hesitated in jotting that one down,
The crowd seemed to soak up his performance, people mouthing along to the lyrics as fangirls fanned themselves, blushes on their cheeks. Ai met Somkiat’s eyes as he sung the bridge, his mouth twisted in a smirk. Somkiat blushed and ducked his head. Ai watched as Fermin lightly slapped at his arm, a teasing smirk on his face.
As the song mellowed out before rising up once more, Ai prepared himself for the end, for the relief he’d feel in his bones when he finally got to step out from behind the microphone and get off the stage.
It arrived as quick as Ai needed and he bowed to the crowds before darting off. He could see Somkiat making his way backstage, ready for his own performance, and Ai waited until the older man appeared before him.
“Good luck,” Ai called. Somkiat perked up and rushed over, pressing a kiss to Ai’s left cheek as he held his hands. He congratulated Ai before kissing Ai’s right cheek and darting off. Ai stayed in the wings, watching as Somkiat settled before the microphone.
He was so in love.
- ☼ -
The bright melody rang through the speakers, the metronome steady in his ears, and Somkiat started singing, Taylor Swift’s Paper Rings falling from his lips. His accent distorted some of the words, but he didn’t care. All that mattered to him was delivering an amazing performance. A performance that would reach Ai’s heart.
After all, Somkiat was singing this song for him.
Shifting his gaze over to the side of the stage, Somkiat smiled when he saw Ai watching him, his body swaying slightly. As the bridge started, Somkiat held a hand out in Ai’s direction. He hoped it seemed like a performance thing and not like the truth that was him reaching out for Ai.
The tempo picked up again and Somkiat couldn’t help but smile wider. He met Fermin and Pedro’s gazes, barely managing to hold back his laughter and continue singing when Fermin mouthed ‘simp’ at him. The music faded around him and Somkiat stepped back from the microphone after he’d finished.
Bowing to the crowd, Somkiat wasting no time in dashing from the stage and throwing himself into Ai’s arms. That was the best performance he’d ever done.
- ☼ -
Fermin stopped before the microphone, a soft yet sweet melody filling the air around them. Ai’s heart leapt into his throat as Fermin started singing. It wasn’t a song he was familiar with, but he felt the emotions Fermin was trying to convey almost immediately.
“Is he staring straight at Pedro or is it just me?” Somkiat whispered. The two other competitors who had performed between Somkiat and Fermin were long gone, back in the crowd, but Ai and Somkiat had stayed backstage.
Ai followed Fermin’s gaze, gasping when he saw that not only was Somkiat correct, but tears were swimming in his Pedro’s gaze. He nudged Somkiat with his elbow before whispering Pedro’s name. Somkiat gasped in turned and the two faced each other, eyes wide.
“Did you know about this?” Ai asked. Somkiat shook his head.
“I had no idea what anyone was doing for their solos,” Somkiat explained. Ai exhaled sharply and turned back to Fermin once more.
“He’s fucking insane,” Ai said. Somkiat hummed in agreement. They fell silent after that, too enraptured by the delicate nature of Fermin’s performance. Tears formed in his own eyes as he continued to sing, and Ai felt his heart clench with admiration for his friend. “It’s beautiful,” he whispered.
“It really is,” Somkiat responded. Pedro was wiping never-ending tears from his face and Ai frowned. Him and Fermin had been dancing around each other for ages, and Ai knew it was getting to them both, fear and insecurity holding them back from accepting their mutual love.
“Do you think this will push them together?” Ai asked as the song trailed to an end, Fermin’s rich voice ringing through the arena. Somkiat met his eye and nodded, a soft smile on his face. Ai swallowed thickly, a blush staining his cheeks.
“I really hope so,” Somkiat said. Ai hoped so too.
(He wasn’t thinking about Fermin and Pedro.)
- ☼ -
Somkiat was comforting a sobbing Fermin once more, Ai weakly attempting to do the same through his own wave of tears. Pedro’s performance was heartbreaking, the song he’d chosen a simple yet emotional piano ballad that had sent sharp stabs of pain through Somkiat’s heart.
“This is why he’s so afraid of being with me,” Fermin croaked out. “Someone hurt him before.”
“Oh, Fer…” Ai said, a fresh wave of tears spilling down both of their cheeks. Somkiat’s eyes were starting to mist over too, and he roughly wiped at his face before pulling Ai into his side. Holding his two friends close, he watched as tears trailed down Pedro’s cheeks, dripping from his face and landing on the stage below him.
“What song is this?” Somkiat whispered. Fermin hummed in confusion before sniffling and wiping at his nose.
“The title is I hate to admit, or something like that. Pedro wrote it himself,” Fermin explained, his voice shaking. “The lyrics alone were so heartbreaking to read but hearing the song in Pedro’s voice and tone… god, I want to make sure no one hurts him ever again,” Fermin sniffled.
“It’s okay, he’s safe now. He’s got us, after all,” Ai said. Fermin thanked him softly, before they turned towards Pedro once more. The lyrics had ended, Pedro’s voice soft, and now he was crying, head bowed, as the soft piano keys rang out. He pulled back and bowed before darting off the stage.
Pedro pulled Fermin away from Somkiat’s grip and pressed their lips together. Somkiat and Ai exchanged a look before backing away slightly. “I’m ready to be yours now,” Pedro whispered. Fermin sighed in relief.
“Be my boyfriend,” Fermin whispered. Pedro smiled.
“Happily.”
- ☼ -
The six contestants stood on the stage and Ai slipped his fingers into Somkiat’s for comfort before he could stop himself. He was terrified, absolutely petrified that his little quartet was going to be torn apart.
“I am happy to announce that, in fourth place, our first member of the group is…” the first judge trailed off, building anticipation, and Ai felt nausea swim unpleasantly in his gut. “Somkiat Chantra!” Somkiat gasped next to Ai and lifted his hands to his mouth, Ai’s right one going with them.
Claps and cheers flooded the performance hall before they silenced once more. The second judge leant forward and smiled.
“In third place, Ai Ogura!” The judge called. Ai burst into tears, his hand falling from Somkiat’s as he dropped to his knees, fingers locked behind his head as he hunched in on himself. Someone knelt next to him, and Ai was embarrassed to realise that he knew it was Somkiat based on his touch alone.
Forcing himself upwards again, Ai leant on Somkiat as he waited for the announcement of second place.
“First place and second place were close, a measly four points keeping them apart. Second place, I’m pleased to announce, belongs to Fermin Aldeguer,” a third judge announced. Ai gasped, turning to Fermin and watching as the younger man started crying, a pleased smile sprawled on his face. Pedro hugged him before pulling back and facing the judges.
Ai noticed the faint traces of fear and anxiety that lined Pedro’s body. He picked at the skin of his cuticles and his left foot shifted back and forth. He was the last member of their little quartet and Ai knew that Pedro was preparing himself for the worst.
“In first place with a performance that left the crowd here awestruck and heartbroken, four points above our second-place performer, the leader of our new group is… Pedro Acosta!” The fourth judge exclaimed. It was silent for all of one second before Pedro screamed in joy and dropped, sprawling out on his back as he sobbed.
Ai immediately knelt next to him, Fermin and Somkiat joining him moments later. He peeked up at them through his fingers, tear strained lashes blinking softly. “We did it.” Ai could only smile and lean down, hugging Pedro as tight as he could.
“Yes, yes we did.”
- ☼ -
Ai was humming along to No Doubt, the song they were debuting with in less than twenty-four hours as the group ecl!pse. Somkiat was pacing back and forth in their new dorm rooms, an anxiety over something completely different simmering in his gut.
“It’ll be okay, Somkiat, you know that, right?” Ai said with a chuckle. Somkiat hummed distractedly. He just needed to say it, didn’t he? “Stop pacing before you leave a hole in the carpet,” Ai teased, unaware of the storm brewing in Somkiat’s head.
“Please be my boyfriend,” Somkiat blurted out. Ai’s face morphed into an expression of shock before he was smiling and standing up from his chair. He crossed to Somkiat and cupped his face in his hands. He pressed a kiss to Somkiat’s lips before pulling back by a mere half inch.
“I’ve been yours the entire time.”