Chapter Text
It was rodeo weekend. Omega was a jittery ball of excitement and anxiety, she had been to several rodeos before but never with her ori’vod. The last four weeks had been full of new experiences and adventures; she was sure this time her experience of the rodeo would be pleasant. A darkness clinged to the edges of her mind though, she was safe and content here on the ranch, would it be the same beyond the fence line?
Shaking away the darkness she loaded another box onto the wagon. Tech had tasked her to place the collection of small crates and boxes into the wagon before Wrecker would load the hay and tackboxes in. She was determined to do a good job and be allowed beyond the stalls this time.
“How much progress have you made?” Tech walked into the barn, tablet in hand not looking up from what Omega knew was his lengthy checklist. He had barely set down his tablet in the last two weeks and it was becoming a point of pain for her.
“Almost finished!” She hefted another box onto the wagon lip. She waited for his gaze, hopeful it would linger this time.
He did look up, eyebrows tight and exhaled softly. That was a bad combination and Omega braced for disappointment.
“Omega,” Tech rubbed his temple, “there is not going to be enough space for the hay bales if the boxes are left there. You need to stack them tightly near the front of the wagon. I could have sworn I explained this to you.”
She put the last box on the wagon lip silently before hefting herself up into the bed. “You just told me to put them in the wagon.” Tone quiet and distant, her heart hurt.
Omega had been trying her best to please all her ori’vod since she had been accepted into their aliit. Learning everything she was taught as she was passed from brother to brother through the day, she savored each moment, good and bad. Wrecker’s math lessons in the evenings, reading with Echo in the shade on the porch swing, Crosshair bandaging her hands after roping practice, Hunter catching her from falling off for the ninth time… Tech’s soft smile as she continues to learn new Mando’a words.
She had been chasing his smile for a week with little success. Even after showing him the names she picked out for Crosshair and Hunter, he only gave a slight nod and “Well done,” before returning to his tablet. There was only one time he was fully separated from it, when she was riding under his supervision. She had fallen off once in their lesson and he never let himself be distracted again.
“So…” She let her voice carry as another box was put into its ‘proper’ place. “It’s Thursday, aren’t we going to have a lesson together?” Omega allowed herself to hope his need for routines would give her a chance for his attention.
“It is Thursday, however it is our haul-in day for the rodeo so today’s schedule is non-standard for Thursdays.”
Another box into place, “Oh…” of course, today was non-standard; not even Echo was in the garden this morning. “Maybe you can give me a lesson on the way there?” She did not like how he was slipping into this distant role, it felt too much like the guardians of her past.
He finally pulled back from the tablet, and her heart leapt into her throat. Warm hope turned into tightness by the sight of his crossing arms and shifted weight. “Omega, have you completed your checklist for non-arena riding?”
“I can walk, trot, canter, and stop by myself and can turn at each gait with minimal use of the horn for balance.” She rattled off each point, checking them off on her fingers. “I am able to get things in and out of the saddle bags, most importantly water. I can get up from the ground and the fence by myself, and can make emergency stops.” Each point was crossed off, she beamed back at him.
“You forgot gates and cows.” An adjustment to his glasses, gaze sharp and calculating.
She balked, “But cows are never in the arena unless y’all are working them and then you make me sit on the fence…” her chest hurt, “and I am not allowed near the gate to practice with it!” Her voice was loud and demanding despite how much she knew such things were worthy of painful punishments. This wasn’t fair. She did as asked and was refused.
“I want to ride!” She shouted at him, hands balled at her side.
“You are not yet ready for a ride to the grounds in open desert while pushing the stock.” Tech shifted his weight again, his lips pressed into thin lines of frustration at her outburst. “It is dangerous. You will ride in the wagon with Echo.”
“Let me pony off someone.” Tears were actually starting to form, tone nearly breaking.
“Omega, we need to focus on the stock, not you.” He turned away, looking through the tack boxes to pointedly signal the end of the discussion, “You will stay in the wagon.”
His words didn’t hit as harsh as his tone, strict and final, sharp enough to cut if she tried to push further. It was the exact opposite of what she wanted from him and it triggered memories of the past.
She wanted to be good enough, rodeo trips were only for the best behaved children. The ones that completed all chores on time with no issues. Still, no matter how good she behaved and what she endured, she was confined to the stalls or the trailer, scavenging for a meal and security amidst all her tasks at the rodeo. It was marginally better than a weekend at the homestead, less chores but also less of everything else.
She was losing control of her breathing. Was this all a ploy to give her back to them? Was she going back after a month of paradise? Unable to keep up and so she was handed back over… The world was narrowing to just herself, forgetting her position on the wagon bed in the barn. She wanted to stay, more than anything. If Tech… if he was going to…
She needed them, her vutyc’vode.
“K’o…” She couldn’t breathe, the possibility of being rejected was too great. “K’olar! K’loar…” her voice trying to call out but wavering through tears she tried to hold back.
Footsteps came running before hands grabbed her from the wagon bed; firm and strong in their grip and motion but still maintaining a softness to not hurt her. Instantly she collapsed into the hold and Crosshair’s narrow chest. He came, just as promised he would. A calm ocean to sooth her after a storm.
“I got you,” Crosshair settled her on his hip, a hand coaxing even breaths from her with large circles on her back. “Ni olar, I’m here.”
Omega breathed in his woody scent with traces of gunpowder and highlights of lavender from his body soap. It was home, safety and security. She clung to his vest, he and Hunter would not let Tech give her back.
“What happened, Stardust?” Crosshair waited until she was breathing calmly before asking.
Tech hadn’t said he would do anything, and she didn’t want to speak the possibility into the universe to tempt such things to come to pass, so she lied. “Nothing.” It was a weak lie made weaker by the tightness in her throat.
A soft hum passed through his chest, “Tech can finish organizing here. You and I will finish packing your things.” He was already walking back to the house, leaving no opportunity for Tech to complain.
“I put four outfits and sleep clothes in a pile on the table like Hunter told me to.” Back in the sunshine and away from Tech she emerged from Crosshair’s shoulder to look at him. “What more is there to pack? That is already more than enough.”
“You think Wrecker will let you go to bed without brushing your teeth just because we are out of the house?”
He feigned tripping to swing her about. She couldn’t help but laugh as he swung her, he wouldn’t drop her and it made the weightless feeling exciting. It chased away the lingering fears and brightened her soul.
“But there isn’t anywhere to brush teeth!” it was hard to conversate when he continued to pull giggles from her with his antics.
“The bathrooms aren’t great but they have sinks,” he settled her again on his hip. “We got access to a shower too, so don’t think you’re escaping those either,” tapping her head with the brim of his hat to apply a playful scolding.
“There are showers and sinks?” She had seen the porta-potties with the little hand washing stations near the trailers but those didn’t seem to count as sinks. Maybe there was a shower somewhere where better sinks also lived that she hadn’t seen on the rodeo grounds.
Crosshair stopped on the porch, carefully looking at her with his sharp eyes. “How many of our rodeos have you been to?”
Omega shrugged, “A bunch, not every month because I wasn’t…good enough, but I’m good now.” Swallowing hard when his gaze didn’t soften she rushed to smooth it over, “I am good, I’ve done all my tasks and chores, I promise!”
Crosshair breathed out slowly, eyes shut and tense, no reply came.
“Sho’cyam?” a whisper on her breath, was he reconsidering his stance like Tech?
He softened and pressed their foreheads together, “Nera’ika, you’re good. Regardless of tasks and chores; you are good.”
Omega leaned into him, steadying herself against his words and hold. He wasn’t going to give her up. He promised to be there if she called out, and he came when she did. Hunter and him invited her into their kih’aliit and they made no move to rescind that. She was safe here, with them.
“Come on, let’s finish packing your things and you can tell me what Tech did to upset you.” Crosshair finally went inside and set her down in the living room.
“He didn’t do anything,” That was honest, but his lack of attention was the issue at hand.
Her vutyc’vod found her toothbrush in the bathroom along with some hair ties to add to a small box. “Yet, you call out for us while he is 20 feet away from you.”
Omega wrung out her hands, eyes tracing the tile lines. “I just needed you.”
“What could Hunter or I do that Tech could not?”
Omega didn’t answer, just hung onto the edge of his vest as he moved to her room. She let go to accept Batcher from him, cradling the black and red rabbit plush close.
“Let me guess,” Cross worked through her dresser, “Tech feels different recently.”
Omega nodded. He was not the brother from the first two weeks. She did not like this new version of him and wanted the first version back.
“You need to understand that Tech is slightly different than us.” He picked his words carefully as he inspected her different shirts. “His brain processes things differently, gets stuck on one thing and that is all he can think of. It doesn’t mean you are not his kih’vod or that he does not care. He is just thinking of only one thing.”
“He still wants me to be kih’vod?” a small flame of hope danced in her chest.
Crosshair turned to face her, kneeling to her height. “Of course, he just needs time to finish his task. We are still aliit, you are not going anywhere.”
“How much longer?” She didn’t know how long she could last with his distance. She wanted to go back to listening to his information stream or the books he read for her.
“If his focus is on what I think it is, not much longer.” His hand ruffling her hair forced a smile. “Grab your pillow and a blanket, then we can pack the trunk and finish the wagon.”
She did as told and followed him with a dragging blanket. An idea crossed her mind, Tech would be overruled if Hunter or Crosshair made a choice about her abilities. “Will you help me saddle Lula for the ride today?”
He raised an eyebrow at her question, a small smirk and shake of his head denied her request. “Tech is right, you are not ready for the drive to the rodeo. The wagon is the safest spot for you.”
“You were listening?” Embarrassed heat lit up her face.
“You shouldn’t shout if you don’t want people to overhear, little star,” he teased. “If the stock makes it easy on us, we can see about you riding double with me or Wrecker for a bit."